Morning Spiritual/Astral Rape

I woke up this morning being astrally raped. The way I know it’s not my subconscious mind is that these being take over my dream state and I made such a big fuss about the raping me in my waking and dream life that they have tried to move to raping me and making it seem as though I am master STI g in my dreams. REALLY!? I feel all of it, and since they are nasty fucks they wanna make it seem like it’s me. It’s not. Rape is rape whether you show a visual simulation of me masturbating in my dreams or not.

And they still do the pedo shit.

I heard one of them say something about they are doing this ethically and not lethal which could be them just repeating stuff from a target individual group, but there is nothing ethical about what they are doing. They want me to know it’s a rape dream they want to rape. Otherwise it would be pretty simple to have me live my life think it was all sex dreams which I never had in my life until now.

I fucking hate these entities. God said we suppose to forgive these entities are just sick. Please someone put them out of their misery.

I’m tired of talking about astral rape. I’m tired of getting raped. Them replaying traumas in my mind. Pedo 💩🤢🤢🤢🤢. Physical pain. Like over it. This is how I am suppose to start my day?

I just told my best friend that I really hate rapist. And that since my rape over the last 4 years I wake up to being raped by some entity every other morning if not through out the day. And it sucks.

There has been no progression in my case really. Nothing. Just a stand still.

East River NYC: Entity in the East River: How I see Entities

So I see entities a number of different ways. One way is in a dream state, the other is vision, which is very similar to recalling in the imagination, but forced in the mind. The next is if they are feeling BOLD it would be considered a hallucination or an apparition. So actually seeing an outline of these Entities just randomly in my living room or bedroom. As a side note they tend to stay in the same thing places. They don’t move a that much unless attached or seen.

Most often I see their watery outline. Or I see a smoke like line move through space. Or sparkles if I am looking it’s way randomly.

Most attribute sparkles to Angels and I have not found this to be the case. I have found this to be entities of whatever sort, connecting to or getting closer to you. That’s how they move. If you see a sparkle I think it’s an entity getting closer to you.

Now another way I see them is through what I call patterning. It’s difficult to explain because I’m still kinda understanding it. But against pattern be it in nature or in this city skyline I can see them as well.

The most recent occurrence would be a perfect example. So I take a cab home usually after taking care of my godson. The Uber goes up the FDR on the East Side of Manhattan. For a couple of weeks I have seen entities “patterned” against the LARGE skyline of Brooklyn but found it to be Queens later. I explain my experience HERE.

Basically I saw the entities face against the sky line and the a blue light dropped out of the sky. It was SUPER ODD! And even the voice/ entity that harassed me said “OH SHIT!” when I saw it. They are dramatic so I take that aspect with a grain of salt. But they looked similar to the entities that where harassing me. I calmly observed. Some nights I saw them in THE SAME AREA, which is where the Pepsi sign is in Queens. Some nights I didn’t but mostly I did.

Now I said since I no fucks nowadays that I was going to go over there and see what’s going on energetically. And then you know what happened today? Lol they moved to Brooklyn. Lol so I saw the pattering against the night skyline in lower part of the East River.

Are they scared of me going over there? Why move? They act buck wild most days.

I’m not going to chase these demonic alien bobble spiders heads all over NYC but they can kindly get the fuck up out my city and my life.

If anyone does energy work or matrix work definitely check the East River or edges of NYC. HUGE entities over there.

Imma snitch fuck em. 🖕🏽

New Age Healing Trap

So over the last few months I have been to healers. And I was REALLY HOPING they could help me with my situation. I mean they can see the astral or matrix and beyond what I can see remotely.

See I see the astral right in front of me. I can see it physically in the 3D world on people. Not remotely or long distance. I see the astral all around me. Connected to people, places (building/parks) and thing (cars, things in home etc). So I don’t know how it works for someone who can remotely view.

However I need help. and while I want to wait on God, the nature/subject of my spiritual attacks and the pain, makes me feel like I have to try everything in my my means to make it stop.

I have an alien looking demon octopus spider thing that is “spiritually” or better “psychically” attacking new through the astral/matrix both mentally (non stop fucking talking) , emotionally (instilling false emotions) and physically (migraines, sparks of lights and shadows, back pain etc). Now this thing calls me a “child molester” all day. And will even describe the molestation of kids in my life in some way. After it describes it or says something it will then go on to molest/rape me! And I’m not a fucking child molester and it’s gross 🤢🤢🤢🤢 and no one wants to hear about no kids stuff. It’s so terrible.

One of my “love and light” new age light worker friends went so far as to say “maybe I was in a past life”, like fuck OUT OF HERE! So she fashions herself as Skemet or Isis reincarnated, but I’m a child molester? She (like many others) had them call her one too, just not as much as I have. Does she think SHE was a child molester? Then she said it must be a generational curse from my bloodline.

Imma need y’all new Agers to puck a story and stick to it.

I know that I think child molesters are the worse thing in the world. And my best friend has actually worked with me on having some compassion for them because many were molested too and they are probably suffering spiritually because of these mast bobble head alien demon fucks. And I think because it is a childhood fear and I want to protect children (I said this since I was a child), it’s easy to attack me saying I’m the very opposite of who I know myself to be. And I think because of this attack the need to spectate myself from someone like that it is easy to lack compassion for them because I am being attacked.

Think about it. Someone who is not gay, the alien demon calling them gay or homosexual, and then because they are being attacked they over compensate by having hatred towards gay people. Either taking it to the extent they actually hate or harm a gay person.

Granted child molesters are 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢. But they are sick. I’m not sure if they can be reformed but I can still have compassion for them as possible victims while still hating their actions.

I aim my hatred correctly. These demon alien things are fucked up and gross rapists!

With THAT BEING SAID!

I went to healers in desperation. I figured they know more than I about this dark side. Light workers kept calling me “of the dark” when I would beg for information on my situation. I could not understand why I was of the dark when most of my life has been to serve people of my community I gave over 15 years of service. Try to find the flow of God, to make my God and my parents proud of me since I was a fuck up in my teen years. And now I’m just a schizophrenic loser who sleeps all day because I can deal with the pain of entity attacks or listening to these rambling demon aliens idiots all day.

So you gave these healers my money. Hoping for healing or a reasonable reason this was happening. A magician told me that my spirit was a truth teller taking night classes in hell to get over fear. Oooooookay. The that my friend paid for said that I was in a room full that looked like a ball from the 29s dimly lit and a Chimera came in and said he was going to protect me (my sciatica felt ok for a day before coming back).

The latest that I paid for said I had a spider on my back and removed it. My sciatica help so much better and I felt lighter walking, however the migraines came back so my guess is that the spider just moved to the top of my head at that time.

The latest healer said that the “male part of my spirit” feels hopeless and that no one can save him and that anything she does will not work. 🤔🙄 Then she offered me to talk to her husband who does this work and that it will be “life changing”. Soon as I stopped talking to her after a week the sciatic came back.

Anything I do is to get rid of these nasty entities that are attacking my mind and body. My life.

I feel so alone now. That last healer was my final dig at trying to get help. To maybe someone understanding me. I really don’t have money to waste like that. If the healer can not permanently remove an entity then they are not healing. I’m tired of excuses. And I have done a lot of work to aid this process.

And I am suppose to wait on the grace of God while these demons rape me? It doesn’t make sense. I’m suppose to have a relationship with God when I do t feel like God is here? Isn’t that a little crazy? Like how? When there is prof he is not here with me? How many times must I repent? Account?

I want my mind and body back. Simple. I want these nasty demons removed and protection. That’s it. Seriously these demons are HEAVY. They have weight energetically. It’s not easy or fun.

Ever have a day where you are walking through your normal routine and it just feels hard to walk or like you walking through water or lag? That’s what most days feel like for me.

I know a lot of people are learning. But I don’t think I should be giving so much money for people who are learning about this shit. And they should have advanced people they trust to refer you to. Just over this bullshit. If I was a healer my main concern is protecting our people and giving knowledge as to what is happening to us. Donation passed. Seriously if any of these healers got rid of these nasty fuckers I would be more than generous. Guess I gotta really go at this alone, God is not here, Jesus isn’t here, these healers care about the coins, and I am over it.

Astral Spiders: And their web of lies.

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

What I see mostly NOW is astral spiders.

Unlike before where I saw developed trolls and reptilian looking beings.

These astral spiders are also like an octopus 🐙. Like a big main head, then these legs that can do many things.

This is just a quick drawing how I have seen them. I have seen 3 max at one time one on my left one on my right and one that looked female and shot out my perception when I awoke to seeing them. The the one on my left proceeded to take a straw that came out of their mouth and spewed “black energy” into my eyes so I could not see them as clearly any more. I could still see them moving around just not clear.

This attachment to my eyes allows them to show me dreams, and visions. Usually sick gross visions.

They are a hive mind and will often repeat things I am doing or thinking or feeling to the others. they have come to understand my emotions pretty well even the silent ones. They will also lie about my emotions trying to manipulate them and make me think a certain way.

BUT I KNOW MYSELF VERY WELL!!!

Fuck em!

They seem to attach to the nervous system.

Brain, Gut, genitals seem to be the easiest. They don’t seem to attach to the heart very often but occasionally.

The healer I paid to help me with my situation, while I thought she healed my sciatica caused by the astral spiders she seemed to have maybe moved them. They either attach to my lower spine/butt area ( severe sciatica) or to my skull/brain (SEVERE MIGRAINES). When the are attached to my spine no migraine, when they are attached to my brain no sciatica. Coincidence? I think not.

There are other cartoony looking looney toons in the mix but the main players right now are these spiders.

My guess is that the work for reptilian (whatever hellish hierarchy of demonic aliens they are), or bottom feeders.

Either way they hurt like crazy. My body hurts so much for so long because of them I actually for what it feels like to be ok. Needless and pointless pain. And I am wasting money going to the doctors for them to say nothing is wrong with me. They will give me a pill anyway. So like the schizophrenic meds don’t work.

They gave me high blood pressure meds, but my guess is that that when these demons mesh with your body, with your cells, possessing your skin, flesh, organs your nervous system, to obtain whatever the fuck it is they are trying to obtain…… it naturally raises your blood pressure. And then even MORE if they are trying manipulate your emotions and mentality to get you worked up. They also rape, just like the reptilians but maybe not as much.

I call the one I have seen talking to me “Baby Ghost” 👻 because their large heads kind of looks like Casper. Lol yea I hate them though. I’ve spent so much money trying to get rid of them. I would give the healer all I had if she was able to get rid of these things, but I tested her for 4+ sessions and I did not see much result or anything that was able to be maintained past my interaction with her. So it’s kind of pointless. Just a money suck …… for me anyway.

The healer said she got attacked by astral spiders before. And she does not like spiders at all, and going into my session she had to overcome her fear. To be honest it was martyring herself in a way.

This guy I watch called Detox Dude on YouTube said essentially if your healer is getting attacked then you need a new healer. A healer should not be making you feel like they are being harmed by your presence.

I mean I can see not remotely but in the physical 3D world things attached to people and I can assess their symptoms to astral attachments. I could also come up with a story as to WHY. But I didn’t go to a healer for a story I go to them for removal and that is what I keep getting from them. Story time. Not removal.

Not sure what to do anymore.

I just document this experience in hopes others don’t feel alone. So I don’t feel alone too.

We really are children in Christ

I am taking care of my Godson. And I have been blessed to be in this position. To watch him grow, to challenge myself, to love, to influence another human being positively (hopefully) in this world.

Today my Godson smacked me in my face because he didn’t get his way. We had a good day and he asked if he could give me a kiss on the cheek in bed, I said ok. Then he asked me to read a book, I said no because it was bed time and because he didn’t listen earlier. And stuck out my cheek for a kiss goodnight as he smacked it. This was the first time he has done something like this. But he does misbehave.

I stepped a way to the door and told him “Don’t you ever in you life smack me in the face again” I felt really disrespected especially since all I do is try to support and help him. I had to call his mom so she could reprimand him over the phone. He reluctantly said sorry. But I plan to speak to him more tomorrow about it at a level he can understand. That he hurt my feelings and he should not put hands on anyone else. (No one hits him in the house and I know the difference between play fighting and malicious aggression).

I know this is a part of growing up. Pushing the boundaries. But as I was watching the sermon from Transformation Church tonight. The message was in short about appreciating what God has got us through. And where we are now. And I thought about my struggles with my Godson. And how I could give him everything he needs and wants and he will ask for something else and smack me in the face when he does not get his way. A brat essentially.

I am a brat to God. I mean I rarely asked for much. But, good or bad, God got me through and made a way. Christianity is my roots. While Ifa is deep roots of understanding my ancestors. Christianity is what was instilled in me as a kid.

I think about how angry I am/was with God that he didn’t remove this demonic bobble head alien spider demon octopus 🐙 thing from my body and life. The pain, the 🤢, the rape. Why would God allow for something like this to exist and to harm me.

Last night I thanked God for allowing me to see this side of life and maintain some sanity even though I am clinically seen as insane with the label schizophrenic attached to me. I’ve met some interesting people. I saw that despite my previous sexual orientation my family really came through for me. And over time while this experience has not stopped there are some better moments now than there was 3/4 years ago. The intensity has gone down a bit but the pain is still there. Today was difficult to walk and I needed more caffeine than a human should have to reanimate my body and get through the day lol.

I got kicked out of Schizophrenic Group because I said something about God. I said that God isn’t a Happy Meal. Meaning that we don’t just wish and get what we want. That there is work that goes into it, spiritually or physically, emotionally, mentally, financially…. etc.

But I thought about how often (speaking from my own perspective, so this includes me) that we get upset with God and smack him in the face. And like a good parent, he stands there and wait till we are done with our shinnagings, or allows us to feel what not being in his presence really feels like.

It scares me because so many people commute suicide during these times, or do harm but that is our test and something bigger than my human brain can fully comprehend.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel or in the tunnel there is someone who is guiding the way.

I was just thinking about how we (like children) always want more from God, with the least amount of effort or remembering all God has got us through prior. And how we turn into brats when we don’t get our way. Or even hateful towards God.

I know I did.

Sermon here:

Religion/ Belief: It’s not fair!!!!

So, I have a very complicated view around religion. And I guess DETAILS of a “religious/spiritual” life.

I mean there are one so many different religions. Then on top of that Christianity alone has so many different sects. And it’s like one sect is like don’t eat shellfish and women wear skirts only and the other is like God loves everyone no matter what. And it’s REALLY REALLY CONFUSING!

Like beliefs and religion and spirituality it’s all super confusing. And then I have my beliefs and that is crossed with what I experience (which is being tormented by some demonic entity, acts like demons looks like an alien head on a spiders body 😳 yea FML). Like HOW DO YOU EVER RESOLVE ANY OF THAT?!

Is is demons that look like aliens, is it just disgruntled aliens? Is it occult black magic to make me lose it?

Like religion doesn’t tell you, YO you might encounter a demon that looks like a big headed alien or a fucked up teddy bear and it will try to trick you….. and so many new agey spiritual beliefs are like far out there that many times I just think it’s the crafting of people who have been dipped by these entities. But then that still doesn’t explain them and why they are here or playing with us.

Like seriously my whole belief system is honestly shattered into pieces.

This shaman lady told me that “my masculine side feels hopeless and like no one or nothing can help it” and that is why I am getting attacked and the masculine side is not protecting the feminine and that if “my masculine side BELIEVES that, nothing she does will work”, well that is nice to know $500+ later! Very convenient.

Even when taking these stupid medication, or spending my money on these shamans like all I have is to go on what i have seen play out in the past. But I still engage it because idk what else to do. So there is a part of me that hopes it works, while keeping my expectations low. And a part of me is like, if it’s medical schizophrenia, meds should work regardless if I think it’s some alien demon. And if it’s an spiritual thing, then who ever I go to for help should be able to just pluck these fuckers out whether I believe exactly what they believe or not. Because my EXPERIENCE is different then theirs. Like some distant healing shamans see these things are just colors or shapes, I see them as straight up crazy looking entities because they are all in my face in 3D. Like actually, not just on some “astral travel lucid dreaming tip” like all around me chillin my house like they pay rent.

And God and Jesus is no where to be found. Jesus’ name does not make them run for me. These assholes said they were Jesus when they electrocuted me mean and showed me a vision of a modern looking Latino guy. They think they are funny, I don’t.

These Entities broke my faith.

I’m being honest.

Like why are they able to do what they do to me? To anyone?

Why cant anyone who has “gifts” help me? Why can’t God show ME grace?

I figured no matter what I believe because of my immediate circumstance, that something ….. anything should work. I tried to cover all my bases.

Medication, holding on to faith in God as well as seeking assistance for people who supposedly know more about this stuff then I do.

Like I’m tired of getting raped by demons or whatever the fuck this thing is. And I’m tired of being shunned by all aspects of spiritual beliefs because my experience, which is all I have to go on, doesn’t match up with theirs. I’m tired of waiting on God. I’m tired of seeing these doctors that prescribe me a pill that does absolutely nothing. Like Benadryl does more for me than these antipsychotic meds.

And all these people push this situation back on me. Not that I am pushing it on them, but they always make me feel like it’s my fault or I’m not doing enough. And THAT makes me feel crazy. Just constantly doing and no results. I’m doing the best I can with what I got. Like people are experiencing this all over the world in various degrees mine just happens to suck more because I get raped and molested and these entities drain my energy to the point I pass out or never feel rested even when I sleep for two days.

So like what am I suppose to do? That is why people get paid…. right? They are the expert. If I sat there and tried to prescribe my own self meds then…. what do I look like?

And what’s worse is that this shaman said it’s “my masculine half” that’s going through this and my feminine half is rejecting him. And like this is all happening on a level I have no control over. So it doesn’t matter that I have kept my paths open. Or that there are other possibilities. There is nothing I can do about it.

And then religion just tells you to wait for Gods grace, or that you are a sinner and deserve this. And I’m like HUH? Like even “Gods favorite” was used as an example. Job right? Lost everything? So did he deserve it? Or like is a cancer patient suppose to sit there and just pray the cancer away? Or do you go to treatment?

Like it gets so funky and confusing.

And that is not even going into the hypocrisy of a Christians.

And if grace doesn’t show up in your life, then there is something wrong with you. Not the fact that socioeconomically the world SUCKS, or your body is just not strong enough to fight off whatever, or that accidents/ catastrophes just happen.

And that’s the same thing I am finding with these “healers”, if what they did doesn’t work, there is something wrong with YOU! Not the fact that what they did and took money for didn’t work.

I don’t know I’m close to just being agnostic at this point, cause honestly I don’t know shit. All I know is there is some big head alien spiders fucking with me and trying to ruin my life. That’s all I know for sure. And even that could be an illusion. Maybe they don’t look like aliens maybe they look like giant etheric PUSSIES floating around in the “astral”.

I’m tired of this.

Narcolepsy: Church

So was watching my church online like I do every Sunday (or Monday depending).

And all of a sudden the Entities knocked me out. Now the Entity woke me up at 3am and then at 12pm knocked me out mid sermon.

The Entities kept calling my pastor gay. Which I wouldn’t care if he was, but he’s not. And the Entities were trying to twist the word and Say Jesus worship is Satan worship. Which is another thing running around in the New Age/ Occult arena.

So it took me a while to figure out WHY these Entities were pushing me into Christianity in the beginning. In the beginning I believed in God above all things and Jesus as a teacher sent by God to teach us how to be better humans. However that is what the commandments are for. I did not believe that Jesus was ONLY PATH (new agey) and that he was God embodied to die for our sins, not so we can sin, but so we can be redeemed.

So I was an easy target for my ignorance.

The reason that these entities played God was so they could then disprove or then make it seem that there was no God or to make me lose faith in the feeling of abandonment as they torture me for the last 4 years.

It’s a simple bait and switch. My “spiritual journey” was at its essence trying to become closer to God and understand truth in this world of lies. And then my weird supernatural experience (caused by Entities /Demons) crossed with the crazy new age stuff I found online (which people think is spiritual) totally knocked me off my feet. And things got really confusing.

These demons are really out here trying to lure people further and further from God. To the point they are pretending to be God.

They will say they are the Voice of God or Jesus and then rape you energetically, torture you, take over your mind to the point you don’t know what is what, show you illusions so you keep running after something that essentially does not exist, because we want proof of something beyond us. Then make you feel as if God abandoned you and try to convince you there is no God.

And I’m like OK so the Demonic Entities that are TALKING TO ME, are trying to convince ME there is NO GOD. Lol how much sense does that make?

I mean the first fuck up was that they made was revealed themselves to me all. That was number one. And then THEY, these astral matrix-y demonic (acting) entities, are going to try to convince ME something doesn’t exist when in fact their mere existence was unfathomable in the first place?

It’s easy to get stuck in our immediate situation with these demonic entities. To think that is all there is. To constantly try to figure it out and blame it on new agey past life’s, karma, twin flames, not having our occult astral shields up, not doing enough witchy baths, government following you cause you went to a protest, not being of love and light…. some bs. Yea NO. And it’s easy to get into these concepts, when trying to figure out WHY AM I BEING ATTACK?!

I will be honest with you ANYONE can be attack. Sinner, the righteous, Good, bad and in between. What only truly furthers our attacks is IGNORANCE.

The lack of truth. Some of which we may never figure out and need to come to peace with that. We aren’t meant to know all the secrets of the universe lol because then that would make us God. And we are not God or Gods as much as we would like ourselves to be.

So be at peace with not knowing everything. Enough was revealed to us to know what these things are and that they attack who ever. Even Jesus in the desert for 40 days, and he is Holy!! That is how bold these demons are, they attacked the son of God, in hopes he would weaken.

So why not us?

Or a lot of us…… not all.

So know this. All of these theories. While they can help in the absence of faith to have something to cling to…… they can be VERY detrimental in the fact they can be skewed, twisted, ever evolving to get us to the point there is no God. The word of God is unmoving (well for the most part, minus slavery and stuff, BUT it says in the Bible that it must not be altered and those who did so at any point in time will face severe consequences).

You know what’s funny, is that I actually think a lot of the technologies that Target Individuals talk about exist in some fashion. I guess my point is that more likely they are NOT using it on you. Bob next door does not have DARPA weapons aimed at you and follow you everywhere you go.

But the devil knows how to get you worked up enough to think so. If you cant see through the lies then we are definitely doomed.

Man all I wanted to do is watch a sermon this morning. And I’m out here on my internet soap box.

Entities in the Children’s ER

So I’m with my Godson at the children’s ER because he might have the flu that has been going around.

He was sleeping and I was on my phone bullshitting and maybe an hour into the situation I felt something release from my booty (I have been feeling this weird booty energy release for a while now, pause, it’s not a fart, I have also felt this same release on my upper back/shoulder and it’s been on my right side. So a lot of pain and pressure on the left a lot of releasing on the right). So this happened and I forgot OH YEA IM DEMONICALLY OPPRESSED!

So I scanned the room to see what was up and there were the energy fields of entities on his bed and the empty baby bed in the room.

Once it saw that I saw it it shot into my right eye. But I could still see the energy mass sparkling and floating around at the foot of the bed.

Now while my godson was in the cab to the hospital he was complaining about a headache, like a really bad headache and he had a fever. And for me when the entities connect to my head i can normally get fevers and migraines. Not always together but most of the time. Like right now I have a migraine no fever. But often I do.

So I scanned his skull region to see if there was anything, and I surprisingly I did not see anything. This was prior to going inside the hospital.

So there is nothing attached to his body directly to his upper body. But there seems do be something attached to his lower legs.

Then there are other entities attached to the foot of the bed that were going wild that I saw them. My bed has entities all around them. If you think about it a bed is when we are the most vulnerable so it would make sense that that is their top favorite place. (Bathroom is probably second in my guess, cars 3rd)

So it’s saddens me SO DEEPLY that even innocent children are fair game for these Entities. But if you think about it that is how they indoctrinate us into their sick games. From a young age. We just don’t know it.

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

BIG DEEP BREATHS!

Trying not cry about how fucking gross this planet is. 🥺😭🤢🤮

Kitchen Witch 🌿🌸🌿

So my friend sent me a video of some New Age witchy ways to remove a curse. (Not you Tess)

Now I will be honest I LOVE witchy stuff. Herbs, crystals, oils, candles, incense, the craft, alters, learning about mythology, symbolic meanings, all that stuff I love it I think it’s pretty, it’s smells nice, i like learning about the history. I like the art.

Recently I threw away all my stuff. Tarot, crystals necklaces, books etc.

Understanding how these Entities work to a limited extent, this is WAY beyond an intention spell/prayer to arch angel Michael, salt baths and white light.

Honestly if I have guides, angels, ancestors, God, spirit animals, alien star seeds, on my side wouldn’t they be kicking this entities ass already? Wouldn’t they have prevented me from being psycho-spiritually raped everyday for 4 years? Which continues.

Why do I have to light a candle when I can speak directly to the”energy” which is a conscious entities and tell them to leave NOW. And they tell me “I’m not done yet!” Or “one more year” every year?

As I have said before something is not adding up in all of this. And I know a lot of it comes from my “perspective” of being tortured. But I did the work, I got out of fear, I stood up to these pieces of shit. I dropped all these New Age wrappings of excuses for entity torture, And they tell me “I’m not done yet!”.

Done doing what?

Because I’m not playing the game anymore. I’m not playing this twin flame game anymore, I’m not playing the targeted individual game where the government is monitoring me anymore. I’m not playing this matrix ascension game anymore.

Ascending to where?

I’m woke as fuck!

So woke I’m tired!

So what exactly are these entities getting out of this and masking it as some belief system?

I am so beyond this New Age shit.

And I am over this experience.

I’ve honestly have done almost all I can humanly do.

What’s interesting is that healing work or certain witchy things actually helped my friend, but not me. We would do the same things sometimes or even she would be so kind to gift me a healing session from the same healer in the past and they would not work for me or they might stop a migraine but not the full experience.

Other reiki healers would ask if I felt anything and I would say pressure on my skull and they would say “that is me” and it would hurt and nothing would come about it. You are working with “energy” but that energy is a conscious being which you have agreed to work with and collect money to do this “healing work” that did nothing for me be give me a fucking headache.

So again I’m not sure what’s going on EXACTLY, but I am ready to kick some ass.

You have no idea how gross this shit is. Seeing entities (smaller) attach to my genitals or to my breast and stimulate me randomly. Some deep in my gut making me sick, photos of them attached to my brain causing migraines, seeing them swim around in and out of my field. Little animal beings attacked to my eyes. It’s YUCK 🤢!!!!!! Like WTF!

I mean I really tried to rationalize all of this. I really don’t think I’m crazy, but I am having a crazy experience which most can not fully relate to and thus I am being seen as crazy.

But if it’s some pretty witchy, ascension shit that’s all gravy. Like fuck out of here.

And I said in a comment before. Like if this is just the chain of life. Like we eat plants (and animals) for sustenances, and then “spirits” entities, I don’t know, absorb our electromagnetic field energy to survive then OK, BUT whatever the FUCK THIS SICK SHIT mofo is, takes it to levels beyond fathomable with rape and torture and showing me child porn or saying I want to fuck my family members and then raping me. Like what the actual fuck?

All because I didn’t play the Twin Flame game and I won’t go into a hypnotic paranoid delusional state. Or accept their negative thoughts as my own? Because I know who the fuck I am and I know how I think and I know my intentions. I have been me all my life! And they are going to try to step in all of a sudden and tell me who I am and I am suppose to “surrender” to the process. Nah!

So honestly all these rituals are not gonna do it for me. I can set my intentions right now! I have with giving up everything! To show how serious I am. And now I am in a stand off with these Entities. I won’t play their game and now they got be physical to stop me from being me. To keep me in bed laid up with pain and fatigue.

Do you know they can wipe me out in a matter of seconds. Like one moment I can be fine and then the next they will make me so sleepy out of no where! Then wake me up an hour or two later. And any time I try to make progress in my life they create a pain in my body that feels like every cell is screaming. Like damn y’all I’m just trying to go to the grocery store and y’all gotta attach some bullshit that makes it painful to walk half a block?

So they want me home going to sleep and waking up to torture me when ever they want. This shit is hell! I am angry and I don’t deserve this shit! No one does if you think about it in the grand scheme of things!

I a specific prayer to remove these entities (which I cited in this blog) and you know what I got a FULL BLOWN ATTACK. I saw more entities enter my home in a a white mist and attach to the lining of my apartment. And large entity and maybe 30 smaller entities hovered over my bed and electrocuted me and then they all shot these “sparkles” into my stomach. My stomach started to rumble and felt like things were knocking around in my tummy and then immediately I had the WORSE period cycle ever.

They are going above and beyond to torture my body because I refuse to play their black magic mind games!

Like this shit has to stop!

I feel Numb

Not numb emotionally, like my body has this sensation of numb all over. But certain parts.

Like the right side of my face and the left side of my thigh and my right big toe. My right arm.

I woke up to this strange sensation. I was a bit manic the night before the voices woke me up at 3am as usually but I just decided to stay up and then go to my friends house in the morning.

When I came back home I took a Gabapentin to go to sleep and ensure I would stay asleep during the middle of the night. While Gabapentin doesn’t help on a regular bases it does help stop “manic episodes” of sleeplessness and ensures I will stay asleep. As I stated in this blog before, I’m not sure why, but sleep is SUPER important to me. I use to be someone who didn’t sleep much #teamnsleep prior to schizophrenia.

But now I need a lot of rest to face another day of entities attacking me I whatever way they choose to for that day.

Anyways so I slept pretty good. Woke up this morning but feeling this numb but almost light buzz feeling in my body.

So I’m documenting it. I’m not sure if it’s medical or spiritual. Even though I know both intertwine, spiritual sensations can be an illusion. So if I feel like I’m having a brain aneurism or seizures because I’m being attacked by Entities, and I go get an extensive brain scan (which I did) and they say all is fine. Its difficult to navigate what is a real concern or symptom vs what is not an illusion. And now I can’t play like I use to and go to the doctor for everything because my insurance changed and a lot is coming out of pocket.

Soooo fuck that.

Anyway so this numb feeling is strange and difficult to describe. I still hear frequencies around me. I still see the watery mosey Entities around me. I’m just not sure what’s going on with my body because I can’t see myself fully objectively.

Like I could see my godson one time and he said he didn’t feel good (noted in this blog) he said he had a headache and tummy hurt. And prior to that he was acting SUPER emotional. And I wasn’t sure what was going on I just had regular earthly concerns. I didn’t think these little fucking devils would actually attack a child. BUT THEY DO! And I scanned his body with my eyes and I saw a blue or purple entity right on the top of his head. Practically tap dancing on his shit! And I had to talk to a healer friend who said he had a devil and I had one too but he was unsure of where it came from. I know about my own clearly. I hear, see, feel them all the time, but a child?!

Anyways so this numb feeling has me a tiny worried not gonna lie. Like I’m like did these demons destroy my nervous system attacking me so much that my nerves are LITERALLY SHOT?

Idk. Just documenting.