Spiritual Abuse πŸ”ͺπŸ”«πŸ’£

There is no reason to be spiritually attacked there is no excuse. That’s like a rapist saying she asked for it because wore a short skirt. Fuck THAT!

Victims of spiritual/astral abuse will blame themselves. They will say, “I deserve this because I lied when I was 12 years old” or something just as ridiculous. We seek peace and that’s the easiest route than grabbing at air. But we seek NOW. Dwelling on the pasts on shortens our time in becoming the person we wish to be the best versions of ourselves. 

Our capitalist system says “you are not enough!” , so by this product and subscribe to this lifestyle. Spirituality /religion says you are not enough, you didn’t pray enough, you did something bad, some past life bullshit generational curse, that you didn’t meditate enough, that you didn’t eat organic enough. In relationships, we feel like we aren’t pretty enough, or doing enough or have enough money or enough love or trust. 

So it is NO WONDER these astral parasites …. Spiritual abusers go on to say YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. You’re ugly, fat, skinny, stupid, crazy, no body likes you, you have no friends, kill yourself, no money, you are not good at what you do, you don’t know what you are doing, you need our guidance, unlovable, unworthy, you’re an addict, you will never understand, you don’t have knowledge. 

You will never be enough, when you are! 

I am a complete being. I have my own “dark” and own “light”. I grow as needed. Forced “darkness” or this bullshit “dark nigbt of the soul”, is abused pushed by astral parasites. Saying it’s because you did this or that, that YOU weren’t enough is excusing this program and act of spiritual violence. Finding peace and “learning from” the abuse is the gift we give ourselves to cope and to heal. We weave stories of some past life karma, a curse, blame ourselves. “This happened to me because…………….” 

Outside of that we are excusing unseen and intangible abuse. By subscribing to this idea that pain is our greatest teacher, is superficial and more than likely you never been in a full blown psychic attack.
You are saying our current system, all system are fine as is and should operate and function with no change.

This whole you “change your reality” is bullshit. You know how hard I’ve fought?!? All this law of attraction, most people want car, money love. I want the change, justice, peace, safety for all people! 

NOTE: The demon suggested pain and my smoking cigs (cause you devils advocate). Now do I know smoking is bad? Yes. Do I wish to change that? YES. Do I think I should be raped everyday by some demon for going on two years? NO.
Whatever. But I’m the crazy one.

Fuck this demon! 

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Crazy Talk: Jelly Monster πŸ‘»πŸ’”

So I can see the effects of the demon, I can feel them, hear them, but I can’t see the actual demon that’s conducting it. 

I believe that many healer are able to remove the effects but not the actual entity. Maybe some can. But none of the ones I went to. 

So, I see this jelly monster (looks like a clear slimmer) that moves around me. I state previously in my blog that, I don’t think this is the entity but the “energy” it sends kinda like and extension of sorts it copies. Its not easy to see but I see it. I think its the same “energy” that screams repeatedly, mimics other peoples voices and music, repeats what I say, the gives me tremors and that can copy cat emotions like anxienty or headache, intense tension, feeling ill, being high. Prolly other things too like images/vision. Almost like AI intelligence toy, but its not the main and I feel like its being controlled. 

Today I was wondering HOW did the entity pull off things like knowing when my ex (false/ twin flame) was going to call, or what song he was going to send me, when the cat took my chair and I wasn’t in the room. And a few other “prediction” or plain old’ nosiness. 

Either way. My assumption is that this jelly monster was being nosey with my ex or attached to my ex. Something maybe like that. And that’s how it copied his voice and knew info. Some people call it “attachment cords” this one looks like a clear jelly vibrating blob thing that moves around at medium speed in and out of vision some times sparkles if its close by like on my head. But then I’m like how the fuck did the jelly monster get to the edge of Brooklyn? Like it legit floated 20 miles?

πŸ’©πŸ‡πŸŠπŸš†πŸš„πŸš…β“‚πŸšˆπŸš•πŸš˜πŸšœπŸš βœˆβ›΅πŸš€πŸšβ‰

I hope my ex wasn’t harmed in any way. In the beginning I did so many “cord cutting meditations” because I just wanted whatever this was gone. I blamed my ex, i did. But I kept away from him so this demon wouldn’t make another game out of it. I’m pretty sure he is OK and doing fine. But if he went through a fraction what I went/ going through….. I am so sorry, even though none of this was my fault. I never sent ANYTHING to him in any way. Only trying to get through my own heart ache to move on.

Either way. That’s my theory of the jelly monster I have been seeing floating around the house or stuck in the bathroom. 

Crazy shit right? πŸ™

God……….  Why did I have to get the crazy one? 

I feel like I need a blunt and I don’t even like smoking. 🌴

Thieves in the Temple πŸ‘‘

If God wasn’t a loving and forgiving God do you think that these evil things would exist?

For whatever reason all creations exist as is ….. And have the choice and opportunity to evolve past its “nature”. 

What we currently think is our nature is conditioning. We could be living in caves…. But we have “evolved” to houses. But some how racism and sexism and sexual violence ect is just seems SO FAR past our reachability over the say million years.

It is the same as these Entities. I’ve said this before. If God wanted to wipe out these Entities with the snap of a cosmic finger God could. If they are from the firery pits of hell,. .  .. Then why are they here, or how do they have access to humans? Maybe these were lies we were told. Maybe humans were told this lie to keep them from committing “crimes” or “sin”. Sin is only relative to the human experience. So what laws do “Entities” have to abide by? Cause they seem pretty lawless to me. 

Clearly everything exists with in its nature. And to some extent I have accept that these Entities exist with in their own nature. Not something I personally want to observe. But I am currently forced to watch. I do NOT have to accept them as my own nature unless they choose to actually do so. And that is a major deception that human beings must evolve past. Understanding what is true human nature and what is not. 

I would assume that Entities have the same opportunity to evolve with the limits of “free will”. That is a choice they must make for themselves individually and as a whole.

I have many thieves in my temple. Telling me I’M the thief, when humans are innately self preserving. Whatever it is that they are here for, it is not theirs to have.

Maybe I’m too logical for this world. 

You Are Welcome πŸ™

I was practicing a Chi breathing technique on YouTube that a friend sent to me.

I noticed some blocks and add ons but whatever I always notice.

Either way, it talked about creating chi and then bringing it back into the body.

I rememered a moment when this all first started happening and my chest extending out past my shoulders felt like I was opened up. That’s when I first started to feel like I was dying.

I didn’t feel much in my center now, just this tender heart. I figured the entity took all my chi, that’s why all I can do right now is sleep, eat cookies and cry about the world.

The guy talking in the video said that we are “the most powerful free energy devices on the planet”.

So I immediately told the Entity, “you are welcome….” And I meant it. I wasn’t being sarcastic as usual. It was a gift.

I figured that I gave (well it took) my energy to this Entity. I just don’t know how to reve my chi back up yet……

…… Wonder if instead of scaring the shit out of me, disrespecting me, violating, if other entity beings whatever where to be upfront? Maybe we could live peacefully. 

Entity would be like, “Yo I really need this chi, I will make it quick.”

They won’t and… Maybe can’t tell me who or what they are. Maybe I’m too peace loving and just feel like if we just put the truth out there it would easier for all of us and work something out. 

Who knows, maybe I would be like “sure homie, you can have some of this chi love!” And i would just go wipe some more up later.

I can give with out receiving. But I don’t know I just need a bit of honesty.

Who knows maybe chi doesn’t even exists. Maybe I am pulling this out of my ass. Maybe they don’t need all this brain electric goodness or this golden chi.

All I know is, there has to be a better way.

πŸŒΏπŸŒΉπŸ‘€πŸ‘½πŸ™βœŒπŸŒΉπŸŒΏ

Crazy Talks: What I See πŸ‘€

Just jotting down some notes.

I don’t see this on anyone else but myself.

There are two very distinct things I see other than the visions. I see the these circle dots that can divide into multipuls. And I see this vibrating heat wave looking thing that moves in and out of me. Think like a clear slimmer from ghost busters. 

So I was commenting on a post to a lady that says she can remove implants and the slimmer thing shot out of my stomach and my stomach/ back area vibrated trembled and I could see it moving around outside of me. 

Noe occasionally I during the day will get headaches or I will feel the pressure on my head and I will hear almost like a distant train tremble vibration. I think this vibrating clear thing is the pressure I feel on my head, the anxiety, its like its the ….. Emotion and sensation maker. I don’t know if it is a separate entity or controlled. My guess it is controlled. 

Now the circle dot thing seems to be the visions/ dreams/ hallucinations/ Logo maker. But I’m not sure to what extent it morphs and uses light. If I pinch the corners of my eyes I see a circle of light in each corner. Not sure if this is bad or good. But I’m sure it plays its part. I have literally seen visions (waking dreams) fade away into almost a logo (a simple none color emoji vision), I have also seems dreams fade as well. 

So I see this dot thing that was never there before as the cause of the visions. And this energy slimmer thing as the cause of the sensations I feel. 
After it jumped out of my stomach it went for GUESS WHERE you guys??!?? My VAGINA! Of course! My vagina! I felt it go there after it shot out.

I’m really over this Scooby doo mystery. Seriously. 

Revisiting Kundalini 🐍

http://www.kundaliniawakeningsystems1.com/the-safeties.html#.WdsPzRkpDqC

I decided to revisit kundalini yesterday and today after someone posted in the group about seeing what I would call “logos” or almost like emojis.

Logos/or emojis are very very simple visions. There is no color, its not very third eye based. They tend to be very simple you just see them like and alien face πŸ‘½ or a ❀ or maybe a simple X I have seen Firebirds and other very simple symbols. 

I think a day or two ago both my friend and I received Alien logos at the same time. (I don’t think this a good thing Lol) 

Visions are a bit more “complicated” as they seem more like uncontrollable imagination or memory. I say its the Entity but what ever. 

Imagination, is you “controlling” what you see. Memory is recalling a past event through all senses. And dreams seem to be a combination of all the above.

I guess after realizing that all these $$$ later I haven’t removed this entity, and crying about my weight gain I’m trying to find my discipline somewhere since I’m not in the best environment for optimal health.

So I read through what is card “safeties” when going through “kundalini”. Kundalini recognizes entity attachments as well. So that’s good. I think every path or belief recognizes something beyond us…….

We just don’t know what it is for sure.

Right now I am trying to wade through a lot of “sexual desire”. I guess its because I wrote about wanting to be in a relationship, intimate and cuddled up. SO as this entity always does …… It twists everything into a gross negative. I want a loving relationship with a caring partner ….. What I get the female equivalent of blue balls/wet dream bordering spiritual RAPE. 😠

But I’m keeping my cool. Keeping my cool….. πŸ˜‡ 

The Dream 😱 

So have you ever noticed how dreams don’t make sense?

We try to make sense of them and yes there is “subconscious” material in there but in general we search for meaning.

So as a kid I remember having a dream twice that my mom was a mummy and secret agents where chasing her and I was trying to protect her. It scared me. 

Now as an adult I can see the connections. One my family gave me a bunch of Egyptian books and toys (Lol I thought I was going to be a archeologist but instead ended up being more interested in anthropology) AND two, mommy and mummy are very similar words. It’s really that simple. BUT the fear that was placed in the dream of loosing my mummy was unnecessary cause I would wake up nervous and scared.

There are many other dreams some make less sense. So make more. But all in all in they are pretty random pieces of our day, lives, something someone else said, something we read and we look for the symbology from the pieces we remember. 

To me there seems to be a direct correlation between this experience and dream states. These Entities seem to communicate in visions, symbology, riddles, rhymes, code words, fears or fantasy.

That’s why none of this shit makes sense. In a way I may have added fuel to the fire by being frightened AND by trying to figure it out.

My “seeking” only found more trash online to weave into this trash overlay superimposed dream/illusion story even if I wasn’t totally conscious of it.

The dream, symbology, the fears, the illusion seem to be all a distraction from who or what ever is making these interpretation. Cause it certainly ain’t mine. And it certainly doesn’t make sense.

So its like the dream world, the world of ghost and goblins. The world of nothingness and imagination both co-exist has managed to find its way into my reality. To influence outside of the dream. To direct. Directing my visions of dreams was not enough. These entities needed to move on to bigger and better productions called my life. 

The logic behind the why or how is beyond me. I just keep finding to evolve “what is happening to me”. 

Either way. Just dropping some thoughts here. 

ACHOO πŸ‘½

Disclaimer: I am in no way telling people to abuse drugs. Read at your own discretion. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Diphenhydramine is an antihistamine used to relieve symptoms of allergy, hay fever, and the common cold. These symptoms include rash, itching, watery eyes, itchy eyes/nose/throat, cough, runny nose, and sneezing. It is also used to prevent and treat nausea, vomiting and dizziness caused by motion sickness.

So for about two months I have been using a cocktail of 4 ZzzQuil (to go to sleep) and 4 benadryl (to stay asleep). Only as needed for the rough days. I have used the benadryl in the past and it has helped with going to sleep. It works. But there is something about the ZzzQuil that makes this Entity flip. Like it gets stupid and I’m just sitting there watching/listening able to function as normal. 

Most days I would eventually fall asleep, but last night the Entity kept me more in… Almost like a “black out”, I was consciously aware of the Entity speaking or tactics to keep me in that odd place between conscious and dreams. So I just popped up kinda upset went to the bathroom and then gave sleeping another go. 

I’m not interested in the dream state, I’m interested in the last few cycles of deep sleep. I slept aight, BUT there was a huge difference in both the volume as well as the effects OF the Entity as I had noticed before.

I guess that’s maybe why anti-psychotics make you sleepy (if they work at all).

Who knew Demonic Alien Entity voices were like a common cold?!

Funny enough when the Entity first started playing with me it kept saying “Achoo” to the point I didn’t even want to say “bless you” to anyone. I guess they love irony. And I’m definitely allergic to bullshit that’s a definite. 

I have not been fully liberated from this Entity as of yet. I am baffled that deep sleep and common cold medicine would help in alieviating the intensity. That along with meditation (awareness of the body), stretching out any “energies” in the body,  and not falling for any of the bullshit (mental and emotional pains).

The Entity can still “suggest” thoughts, images, zap, replay loops grabbing for straws as a way to look for something to exploit. But I don’t feel like there is a rod stabbing through my brain and the volume is way lower. Still a lot of head pressure but enough to notice the difference.

I will always fight, even though I make look, sound, feel depressed because of the cosmic trash I will always fight.

If someone does end up trying. Please use discretion according to your body and current health conditions. Also let me know if there any changes for you.

I’m looking to detox soon. I was wondering if I have to be lazy and unhealthy to rid myself of this thing. I’m almost afraid to loose weight again, the Entity has always attacked when I was at this strange cross roads of transitioning (loosing weight, job loose, end of relationship, moving etc). 

But I know better now and hopefully before the winter I can start detoxing my organs and being more acting once this pointless pressure is off my head.

Woke and slept on.

l e v e l s πŸŒΏ

I am currently not on medication. With out medication the Demon Voice Entity HAS gone to a volume of say …… 10-20. The burns on my vagina are now buzzing. There is “progress”, or the illusion of progress.

I know I should be happy. Grateful. But, I’m not. There is no level of this that is acceptable. Zero.

I feel …… Restless. Its like a new level of restless. Usually if I was restless I would go to the gym or ride my bike around for fun. Noe I have to be concerned if I am going to have a stroke, heart attack or panic attack because of this Entity. Panic attacks while working out is just as stressful.

So its a restlessness with no channel. It’s a waiting for an unknown. I know what I want to do… Have to do…. To get healthy (despite the entity), I just can’t seem to lock of the pieces in place. I try though.

I called a few referrals for therapy/psychiatrist and none of them take my insurance. I would rather be under no care than terrible care that only cares about pushing meds. I am/was even willing to try the meds now, since I know that my brain (through testing with weed and over the counter sleeping meds) wave states have a lot to do with how this entity functions.

I said in a forum, that we give these entities more credit than they deserve. They are not intelligent. When I am blacked out and forced to observe these Entity play, there is nothing intelligent about them. For lack of a better way of explaining it….. Its like watching a 2 year old try to explain rocket science. 

Our brain is needed for filtration and rational formation of thought. It is more instinctual than intelligent to attach to a host and use up all its resources than intelligent. It is when we question that the stories evolve, the lies are told to distract us from ever truly understand why or how.

So reasoning with a parasite is pointless.

More so I want to motivate myself to try to get back to a healthy version of me. I don’t know if its because it is a want for me…. And the entity wants to replay that over and over. But either way it is a true desire and I just feel so……. Stuck. Here. Listening to this shit all day. Reduced to eating, shitting, smoking and sleeping all day. To cope. Survive. I hate it. Its not me.

I tried though, meds, docs, check ups, prayers, shamans, healers, waiting…….

I tried. 

Super Power β˜ΊπŸ”«

Sooooooo….. I was waking up this morning … Slowly but waking up. I did my Benadryl/Zquil cocktail the day before so I could get a solid 6+ hours of sleep.

So I was in and out of sleep. But generally was OK. So I woke up, and the Entity once again showed me an image of child abuse. There was no reasoning. It wasn’t punishing, it wasn’t related to my dreams, just child abuse for the sake of child abuse …. Because its funny to this Entity.

Not the way I wanted to wake up. 

So basically this Entities super power is being a pedophile?!? 

That was originally how it got me to almost kill myself twice. But I guess it wanted to just flash another vision of child abuse for old times sake.

I’m really getting sick of this shit, and having to “be strong”. There is nothing strong about enduring this. 

While I have finally figured out this was a tactic used by this debased souless Entity demon thing. That doesn’t make any easier, in a way I pretend and act as though it doesn’t bother me in hopes that staying strong and not shedding a tear this thing will go away. But….  I don’t know if it ever will.

Just trying to find peace.