Lithium 😬

So they put me on ambify and lithium and I will give it a shot but if this shit don’t work I’m not taking it.

I am not even bipolar …. low key depressed but I thinks it’s with in reason for having a fucking Demonic reptilian shadow monster raping me all day and calling me names.

Like today I started seeing the outline of the beings in the middle of a manhattan street while I was in a cab. I didn’t notice at first but then saw blue sparkles and then my vag being touched and then I was like huh?! And I saw a clear sparkling thing move and then I look to the side and there was a large dark purplish blob in the middle of the street that didn’t move.

So WTF? Like they don’t have to be in my house they can just be in the streets molesting random ass people. I’m just saying. Saw it twice and two in my hallway.

Sucks that I have no one to talk to to understand what I am seeing. At least it could help some people.

But either way, I’m like depressed only cause these voices won’t go away and hurt me and makes me irritable and I don’t want to do anything other wise I would be regular sarcastic but optimistic.

Either way we will see. But I’m not taking this shit for fun. If it don’t work it’s in the trash.

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Snapshot: What I hear. 😞

So I am currently upset with my sister because like all I do is do shit for her and like i was kind of forced into this role and the on top of it hearing the schiz shit and no respects that I don’t want to hear TVs and my sister is always telling me to shut up unless she wants me to do something for her.

Anyway totally separate complicated human emotion shit sister and then the voice comes in and says: “You are such a ……… B. A. B. Y. !!!! You want to be pedofiled like one!?!”

So fuck my life….. Threats don’t even matter anymore because they are still going to torture me anyway.

This is an all day everyday thing. And I’m kinda starting to really be over this life.

😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥

Furies: Demons of Vengance

So I was watching Once Upon a Time and they talked about a Fury demon that takes a life for another.

I never noticed the picture but it looked very similar to the Demon here that I see occasionally. I assume its female because of the long hair that’s always whipping around but that’s not necessarily true.

I always reference this as a Banshee or an Original Fairy. Either way I unsure what the vengeance part is for because I have never screwed anyone over. If anything I always got the shit end of the stick and I always did the work within myself to to eventually forgive and let it go. 

This is the shit end of a stick I received yet.

Cause I feel more and more clueless. 

One girl in my schiz Facebook group drew a picture of the exact same thing I see and it that demon kept asking “where is my child?”, I also had similar delusions with the voices saying “you will never be a mother!”. 

But that doesn’t bring any more clarity as to why this particular demon is here and or how to get rid of it. 

I thought it was cleared in the soul clearing work I was doing but apparently they just cycle through taking turns.

Do these Fury demons work for reptilians harvesting human souls or light or spiritual energy so they may live longer? 

Trick you into going mad and finally taking your life! 

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In Greek and Roman mythology, the Furies were female spirits of justice and vengeance. They were also called theErinyes (angry ones). Known especially for pursuing people who had murdered family members, the Furies punished their victims by driving them mad. When not punishing wrongdoers on earth, they lived in the underworld and tortured the damned. The Furies could also appear as storm clouds or swarms of insects.

Read more: http://www.mythencyclopedia.com/Fi-Go/Furies.html#ixzz5320xRn8B

Stranger Things: Lizard Tongue


So believe it or not I had no idea what a lizards tongue look like until a few moments ago. 

I guess I always thought they looked like snake tongues. 

So I’m kinda freaked out not super freaked out but how could my mind draw from information it doesn’t know and create an image?

All the reptilian drawings I did are from what I saw not what I know. Which where these gecko looking things with the sucky tongue. That’s why I always have a difficult time accepting this as my just my brain. 

I just never had an interest in reptiles. 

So……… Now what? 

Someone told me to put peppermint oil and it will repell the reptilkuans but its not really working that well. Everything seems to treat a symptom but not the situation as a whole.

Being ignorant can work to a benefit. I guess sometimes.

Idk what’s happening anymore. 

Soul Star Chakra 🌟: Archon Halo ☁ 👼 ☁

So…………. The Archon’s portal energy balls I see on peoples heads and including my own look like halos you see in paintings. Straight up, no bullshit….. They are not glowing but they can invert from dark in the middle to light/clear on the outside or vice versa considering the lighting situation inside.

Last year my “twin flame” therapist told me about the “soul star chakra” which is also known as the “halo chakra”.

Simple stated in the link above “Your 8th Chakra known as the Soul Star Chakra is located about 12 inches to 3 feet from the top of your head (just above your Crown Chakra). Your Soul Star Chakra contains infinite energy, spirituality, Divine Wisdom and compassion. Also known as the Halo Chakra it’s what you see depicted in the historic paintings of Jesus Christ, the Saints and other Divine Masters. This chakra is the essential bridge between your Higher Self/Soul Self in the higher dimensions of reality and your incarnated human self (your personality and physical expression of your soul in third dimensional reality).

As your Soul Star Chakra becomes activated and expands you’ll begin to feel a strong need to align yourself with your Soul’s Mission to finally BE what you know on deeper levels you’re here to BE.”

Only I magically got the opposite! Why I gotta get the Satan halo? Is it suppose to be painful? This painful? 

Many people are saying that yes the body has natural chakras … And 3rd eye and all this good stuff but for some reason these natural systems are being manipulated and information is being falsafied so they can take advantage of us. 

There is an overlay. And its so painful. Like why doesn’t anyone tell you hey as some point you gonna get a half and shit it painful cause inter dimensional entities will prolly suck up you brain juices. I need a manual for this shit. 

Watch “I Gave Up Men to Have Sex With Ghosts | This Morning” on YouTube

Home girl is getting PLAYED. Why do I have to get raped and tortured when there is perfectly willing people out there?!

That’s what they do with twin flames too to keep you apart. amd you end up going into seperation feeling either heart break or “this amazing connection”. You think its your twin flame but its not its a fucking demon ghost playing your ass out of a relationship that you have the opprotunity in this body to have NOW! She was about to get married! And this demon ghost comes in and ruins that for her and she’s all OK cool. 
Fuck this!

Copy Cat 🙀🙏 Smiley Face ☺

Above is a photo from a young girl in my schizophrenia group. We originally started speaking about her hallucinations in the group and she seemed so scared I told her to maybe draw them. To kinda face the fears, showing them she is not afraid. 

At first she was like no, but then some weeks later she started drawing them. And I was really proud of her for facing her fears.

She exolained this one is very different than what she normally sees. And I saw the same one again today as well. 

Some weeks ago my friend “sent me energy” and it looked like smiley face and flowers. I wrote about it in the blog. Her energy was very polite. When she brought her energy back to herself I knew. BUT the demonic energy here tried to copy the look of her energy signature and tried to seem like it was her. But know when it is not. There is always a slight difference from hers. Hers is brighter, faster, and moves. This demons is slow and dull and the smile is different. 

Now this girl drawing a version of the demonic version of this energy that I saw today and its making me upset. 1. Because I pray that its not this demon trying to fuck with her or me. 2. I feel like I should not be around ANYONE like I can’t care about anyone, help anyone with out some bullshit.

They asked me to be a moderator in the schiz group. Cause I give a shit about people and I want people to be OK….. But then things like this just makes me feel like shit.

Black Obsidian: Root Chakra

So last night that insane “root chakra” vibrating rumble, burning, pin prick almost feels like my core is being yanked out…yea that feeling happened and so I put this obsidian on my vagina (non sexual yall, sorry its the demons fault I even think like that now).

Uhm it didn’t stop the vibration because then it just intensified… But it seems like it diverted it for a little while from directly with my cells. 

The virbatiin happens from the thighs all the way to the vagina area…. Sometimes a little further up into the actual reproductive system…. Sometimes feel like and empty yanking….. You know when your stomach growls… It feels like that but then a yanking sensation.

I know its one of those portal archon disks that’s doing this to me. They can get big or small…. Right small enough to be on the clit area and super annoying or large enought to include my thighs. I put my hand down there and usually it stop it but this time it was  so strong I could feel the buzz with my hand. 

I have used my thighs to squeeze it out more times then I have the energy for. Some say its “kundalini”. But can you actually push kundalini out if its naturally part of your spiritual body? 

Also there is no progressions to it. Kundalini I thought was suppose to progress in come way. 

I have had “kundalini” like sensation go up my back, very similar to to the root chakra…. But that always feel like a leaving sensation. 

It doesn’t make me feel good. I don’t like it I have no idea what’s going on….. Or why or the point of it all.

I just feel violated. I’ve never violated anyone. Ok maybe tickling my sister.

Either way the crystal didn’t help. Yes I cleaned them. Everyone keeps telling me to use crystals and so far they are only beautiful objects. A security blanket in the freezing winter.

——-+

UPDATE Google Doc SearchDoctor diagnosed Vibrating Vagina. I finally got the nerve to ask my doctor about the vibrating/humming sensation in my vagina. … He said the sensation is due to blood flow. The blood flow can cause turbulence which results in the vibratingfeeling.

———

I mean blood flows….  But in that way there is a stimuli like when you are with a lover…. Or there is a threat to the body. So just blood flow is not a good enough answer for me. But it is ONE biological answer. When I would squeeze my thighs until I heard a crunch I would see the fast clear circle shoot out from legs. 

Sometimes I wonder if I’m fucking myself up more than these aliens are just trying to figure out what’s happening to my body and why I don’t feel connected to it. 

Idk. I hate this. 

Spiritual Bypassing Revisited. 😲😲😲

So spiritual bypassing. 

We are basically saying that if you don’t get almost literally spiritually jumped and cosmically punched in the face that you don’t get the badge of honor of being “inept”. To………… What? 

Do y’all see how we are perpetuating abuse even through our spiritual communities. 

We allow these “spirits” entities to cause harm and then run around thinking its an honor….. And we are enlightened. 

GUYS FUCK THAT!

FUCK THAT TODAY AND TOMORROW AND FOREVER FUCK THAT!

Basically you are enabling cosmic spiritual bullying.

And we are suppose to grow from that?!

Think about how fucking backwards that is? 

Its perpetating abuse.

If someone is in an abusive relationship do you tell them to stay in the relationship and forgive them while they are being beat? 

A lot of these people going around talking about accept the dark and light…. And spiritual bypassing never been raped by some random ass entity and then being told to forgive them. Forgiveness is a process. And protecting ones self is the first step. Abuse stopping is the first step. 

And forgiveness is a choice. 

I’ve always been like this. Ever since school. School is forced… Information forced…. Most of its a lie to perpetuate ignorance. Most of its not useful and most what actually learn and find useful is on the job you are forces to engage in to survive. 

Let’s really rethink the spiritual concepts we spew out. All we are doing is excusing entitities, energies, demons, whatever to play a roll in our lives, and there shouldn’t be any. They made their choice. And they keep making their choice the more you allow them to “punish” or abuse us senselessly which only enables their bad behavior.

Its not a badge of honor….. It’s ignorance. 

🙏

Lightened Photo

If I didn’t see this shape drop down in front of my eyes or mark my skin then I would say hey this prolly just a camera glitch.

This is the first time I caught on camera what I was drawing.

No one else is seeing it…  And its clear as day and making me feel crazy. And I thought I was a rational person.