Flashing Lights: The Light (pt 2) 💡

Matthew 6:22

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”


This passage popped up on my Facebook by my moms friend today (I love GENTLE synchronicities), that is how I learn grow. Gentle, slow but I like to go deeeeeeeeep. I want to know why we use the words we use I don’t want to be misinformed as there are enough misunderstandings and enough people trying to manipulate it (***cough**jeff sessions**cough***).

So yea I have light somewhere connect to me COVERED in darkness, dimmed by …… evil? Demons? Aliens? Whatever it is ….. it is painful in every way possible. Heavy.

I’ve seen white light but I’ve seen the blackest black light. Blacker than my eyes closed. If that makes any sense.

So I guess I am unhealthy, I just don’t know why. I assumed it’s a curse. Cause it came out of no where 2-3 years ago. You don’t just wake up from one year to the next and start thinking these things out of no where.

Either way I’m, I wish I knew but every answer doesn’t suffice. It doesn’t answer the years of suffering, not just for me but others suffering spiritually as well. So I always wonder.

The light, yes we have light. I haven’t seen my own but I have seen some and had confirmation. I guess I will just try to make sense of all of this on my own.


Tonight: Black Lights Dots in my Skull 💀

A square of black dots maybe 100 went into my skull.

I’m not sure what it is or why it hurt like all etheric things that keep going into my fucking skull but…… so yea…..

Then the demonic entity yells “do you know how blessed you are?” As it hurts me more. It’s makes me hate the word blessed and every one is going around talking about how blessed they feel and blessings it’s a trendy word and I’m triggered AF cause this demon has made “god bless” a curse some how.

I don’t know what’s going on anymore.

Below is a drawing of ONE of many of my attackers. My guess reptilian, I believe the others are Archons or their children and are easier to put in or around people.

Either way fuck this shit!

I can’t make this shit up. And if I did it definitely wouldn’t be through ruining my life.

Old School Superstitions

My grandmother was old school.

We are currently cruxed between trying to salvage old ways that worked for good reasons and new ways that will work for the betterment of ALL!

Anyway, I remember as a a child my grandmother told me not to whistle in the house (or whistle period) or open umbrellas in the house. Little things like that.

I thought the whistle thing was because it’s unladylike but actually with observation demons whistle a lot. They also talk off the sounds of birds chirping.

Now I KNOW people are going say not all are evil but all are deceitful, and trick their companions in one way or another. But after what I have been through I can’t afford to sit here and play games.

What I write happens and I document it for my on mental health and to help others maybe. But I am not seeking any of this.

I seek truth peace love God Jesus.

Instead I am bombarded with pain lie hate and some version of Satan and a million minions.

There are something to our old ways not to be feared but to be looked at and compared.

TV on the Radio: Attached Matrix’s đŸ“ē

Turn on the TV..” the demon would say.

It took me some time to to figure out what it meant. But for the most part I knew it had to deal with visions/imagination/dreams.

It wasn’t until my sister mentioned feeling sick (again like before her stroke) that I closely observed her and saw a colorful matrix of light around her head. Like um from afar it looks like a static on a color TV. And I was like WTF. The sad and FUCKING FUCKED UP PART TO THE MOST FUCKED UP PART is I can’t tell her anything to fear of setting her into fear base mind set, AND I can’t save her or help her or remove these pieced of 💩 demons. So that’s a fucked up position of knowing. All I can do is tell her to keep an open line of communication with me and make sure to let me know how she feels. That’s all I can responsibly do with out dragging someone down into my crazy that doesn’t need to be.

So after I observed the matrix on me. On day I actually had two different matrixes on me at the same time they were really trying to make me go nuts. I could see another vision behind the vision in front of me and I was like OH BOY! Took a deep breath and tried to brace myself for some fuckery in zen mode cause it was actually kinda scary.

The matrix “TV” is kind of scary because it’s like you sight almost burns out. It’s like having a black hole or a blind spot of color speck or light right there out of nowhere but that’s what you see …. really it’s it’s pretty much as big as your face.

This makes the Entities who normally look flat drawing or 2D more 3D. So it’s totally possible they are trying experiment to create matrixes to walk the earth or overlay humans. Idk I’m just thinking out loud like what’s the point? Of making a false matrix around a human to then ….. show up and tell them to die ? lol I’m so confused.

Just getting some thoughts out.


What I see: On my Body đŸ¤ĻđŸģ‍♀ī¸

Just been drawing to keep busy.

This is just maybe 25% of what I would see on my face. If I put too much in the drawing it would be too much right now.

The flying lotus teddy bear one is the strange one.

I’ve been really spacey lately. I think I’m thinking too much. Between having these Entities hooked up to me using my body and then me freaking the fuck out trying to figure it out. I’m not sure how much longer my brain will hold up.

Some times the demon will purposely make me forget what I was thinking. They will do this my drawing my attention to them, saying my name, and then my thought or the development of the thought I forget. But I don’t stress it. Oh well.

I just wonder if the more they possess my body or mind the less of me there will be. Technically if we count me over time then yes the have occupied a space of me more than they should have.

I’m just tired of being low key possessed as I go to sleep. They make me moan in my sleep. ☚ī¸ which means they have control over my vocal cords. Or body parts jolt.

I don’t want to be a puppet! A dog! A suicide pet!

As much as these Entities keep telling me that I’m gonna die, I’m gonna get cancer, to “go home!” (Commit suicide), that you are all gonna die, die die die , which IS inevitable and I would like to spend my last days minus the demons. Shits gets OLD as TIME!

Of The Sun đŸŒģ

This a drawing of the sunflowers my room was surrounded in. When I was working with a certain healer. There were also about 20 of them laying across my chest as I lay down as well.

My only issue is that many of the healers and shamans didn’t understand is that 1. I have a trickster demons with me that is oppressive 2. I can hear feel sense see taste smell touch things going on in the etheric but don’t know how to make sense of it or don’t know if it a another trick. So if they they don’t see their own work, or aren’t into sharing that information then that just makes me feel that more paranoid upset and crazy.

This has happened twice so far.

Not that I’m trying to play with demons but if I’m seeing them I wish I I could be put to good use. Or learn more about how to help other but I know this is lonely work. But I know a few that have been lucky enough to have apprenticeships.

I’m sure just a couple of drawings aren’t going to help get rid of them or understand them better to help others.

The implant I’m realizing is the most problematic. Whether or not that’s what’s allowing me to see them and hear them I’m not sure…. but the implant(s) needs to go.

I’m not sure what implants look like. But when I do I will make sure to share.

Judgement Day (Again) 🙄


Remember in 2012 every one thought the rapture was going to happen? And these pastors were taking advantage of people who were giving aware their money to stay in Gods favor?

So I actually like the woman above’s videos she’s pretty raw, BUT, as much I want to jump on the coocoo train to raptureville I guess i would say discernment first. So ONE there are religious demons, that LOVE end of of the world, humans kinda vibe. I got one I should know I have the receipts ☝đŸŧ! They cause religious confusion but more so more than ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD they LOVE to CONDEMN. For things done and never did! This in turn makes US judge others. This is different than our natural judgements. But in our hearts we want to wake people up with our words we want to save souls and that is admirable.

Love is an action.

I previously wrote in my blog that condemnation on further isolates the individual, allowing the the demon to use them at will because that person is not being EDUCATED. Real conversation, honesty, testimonies, educations, coping methods.

Point is these religious demons are something else and I don’t trust them. And while I want to believe some day I will have a relationship with God before I go I do not trust just anything anymore. As I said these are the same demons that pretended to be my grandparents, or telepathy with an ex and even God.

But if it’s God you know. I doubt Jesus would say “God dammit bitch…” but hey…. I could be wrong.

So I guess I am worried that these beings demons are at it again. Did the twin flame game, 1111 game, rapture game, lightworker game, witch game, and now let the JUDGEMENT games commence!

May the odds be ever in your favor, but the WON’T because every thing will be the opposite and every mistake will be amplified to the 1000th power and on replay for years.

Fuck that!

Something is not right there.

Below Pastor Mike Todd talks about this from a more biblical perspective not personal. Funny that both these popped up on my feed with in days of each other.


Extra reading on 144k not related:


Compassion during Deliverance and Repentance 🙏đŸŧ

I want to first state that I know I jump all over the place. Yes I see reptilians shadow people alien stuff astrals, yes I believe in God and Jesus, yes yoga and meditation is good for the body, psychology is cool but has is limits just as anything else. I will always believe in love, but currently that is not my state of being for one reason or another. New age help me but only go me so far but also shunned me as well like most religions “vibe shaming”.

I can see across spectrums of culture and religion. And this for me is see how similar we are or appreciated difference. But God comes first, God created us, we are his works so I always saw it as observing how beautiful and diverse God allowed us to be….

With this said, a good friend of mind sent me a video on deliverance. I listened to them and as a queer person it made me uncomfortable. But I just gave it to God. They talk about the “gay demons”, and so forth and well I guess it kind of offends me a bit even tho I haven been in a queer relationship in over 4-5 years. But I give it to God. I know in the Bible a town was destroyed because of the perversion happening. But I always wondered if it was because those men were cheating or rape…..

Either way, giving it to God mean I don’t know. Lol. I don’t! I wasn’t there! And man has used and changed the Bible before to fit there agenda. Slavery being one of them and how colonizers rewrote the Bible (like BIG major no no sin) to keep slaves docile. Pardon if I don’t trust “man”.

I mean in the spiritual groups today people STILL trying to figure out what “yet ye are gods” me little g gods or big G Gods, and everyone wants to be a God….. and I just wanted to be in Gods favor.

So, repentance……. deliverance…….

So I thought about demons as programming. In some new age writing you will read about “releasing that which no longer serves us”.

Side note: the word “release” which means let go also means to “renew”. So….

Demons as living programming/viruses in our organic natural state. And so it is our job to work on the virus as we would any other situation.

I mention compassion because like a virus you don’t always pick it up because you doing something bad. We live in a world that full of them clearly. None of us are dodging demons or curses like a Jedi. I mean I was just chilling in a cab on third ave and pick up a different entity. So! Ignorance AND our lack of compassion will be our greatest downfall.

I’ve also tried “compassionate depossession” for the Entities that did not work as well. Lol

But for the human, usually unaware and ignorant blaming them for EVERYTHING will not assist in the healing but only create new openings for new programs/virus/demons.

Of course we must be accountable for who we are and what we have done. BUT that individual will know deep inside where the demon may have entered their life. It’s a painful process of purging.

So you masterbated a lot, what are you going to do now? Continue or challenge that program/demon and not let it act out in your body?

I will be honest and say religion and repentance scare me a little bit. Sooooo much is on faith.

Currently I’m in a very mental state and not my heart so it makes sense. I guess the condemnation of a person during repentance feels icky to me. I guess I’m just use to being in joy about God.

I know we are supposed to love or forgive EVERYONE and forgiveness takes time and understanding and healing. Usually we can not do that in the conditions we were abused in so asking us to immediately forgive is pointless.

But healing is necessary. On going daily practice of awareness in the mind body and heart. This can also go for deliverance and repentance. But these videos give an idea of HOW these demons can twist and distort the purest thing. So if love can become lust or nutrition, gluttony why wouldn’t the same apply to same sex couples?

In the video below this particular minister speaks of “religious demons” so demons that act like God distorts gods word image ect all to lead a person probably into no belief at all. MANY schizophrenics actually suffer a lot from religious delusion even if they aren’t religious. So many schizophrenics end up just not dealing with religion because it’s too much along with the delusions. So they are lead astray towards no faith.

So, where did these demons come from?

These demon programs condemn the person and keep them in a state of guilt and shame. Like a virus. Keeping them from their natural state of being and thus “blessings”.

So in conclusion the individual must stay accountable for actions and thoughts while balancing the fact that they were also duped and taken advantaged of. That IS the reality in some cases. So compassion for the individual who has been spiritually abused is needed in these cases no condemnation.

Dark Light? ✨

How do you trust the “light” when the “darkness” is false light. It looks like light. Can act like “light” deities …. ancestors or loved ones?

This entity said to another entity “yea we lit her (me) up like a Christmas tree” mean lit me up with a bunch of Entities and demons and curses beings black magic.

So how do you trust the “light”?

How do you know?

Does it even exist?

Is there even good spirits or spiritual world?

Why are these beings doing this? It seems pointless to me?

10 years of stalking to then try to convince me to commit suicide in the last 3 years? For what?

Idk. Darkness has light….. quiet a bit of it too. Rationing it out for more light or whatever the agenda is. Idk. But they have light. Like a dull lighting. And it sucks that two worlds can not get along …… but it would only make sense….. look at our world but then knowing HOW they influence our world negatively and now are just becoming more noticed …….

BIG SIGH….. just doesn’t make sense.

Happy 😊

I am choosing to be alone and fight this demon thing on my own. I don’t want to drag anyone into this I don’t want to this thing to jump or place a little fragment of itself in someone else. Also I know for a fact this entity wants to keep me from dating or being with any one else and has worked hard to interfere in my relationships.

I want it gone.

And then I think about the symbiotic relationship between actually engaging joy and not trying to protect it and healing. Because these beings have no body other than my own and are limitless or at least never ending in their chatter.

But the most important relationship is the one with myself which is constantly being intercepted.

Joy for was simple it was seeing people eat the food I spent hours preparing, joy was nothing but me and my baby blue bike getting lost in the outskirts of NYC and having find our way home enjoying the views of new neighborhoods and sunsets with the faint smell of honeysuckles. Joy was being my own personal doctor (google doctor) and gym trainer and cheerleader and telling myself to go that extra mile or learning the intricacies of detoxing the body.

But I can’t do that now. The voice make bets on leading me astray and down the wrong path, down to dates and appointments. Habits. Compulsions. Information. Promises. Everything is a lie.

So there is no time for joy only time for trying to figure out their lies. And if I have a moment of joy …… happiness……. laughter….. I am usually quickly punished with something about my ex, my father, child molestation, my sister dying which are all triggers.

So how do I find or obtain or grow or cultivate joy? Through the pain? Through the disgusting thoughts they shoot at me that enrage me in ways I didn’t know way possible? When I have tried my hardest? Or don’t try at all….. every angle ….. maybe just wait and they a tear come my eyes worried about another year that might past with prayers unanswered. That they will accumulate more and more and I will be no different than most of the other schizophrenics or targeted individuals or spiritually possessed (awakened mediums ect).

I know I must seem like the most womp womp bitch on the planet but I’m not im just being honest and critical about my situation. The situation IS critical . I have hella little monsters attracted to me and flowers all over my body and a snack on my third eye and astral parasites on my tummy that feel like a girdle. So life is đŸ˜ŗ and I’m on day 2 on antipsyche meds and it totally gave me the 💩💩💩 in the middle of the night so yea………

so I have to be critical there is a war on my body from almost every angle even myself. But I was trying to heal that.



I miss joy and veggies.