My aunt even told me that when she got sick (chronic fatigue), a few church members put hands on her and prayed. When one member checked up on her that asked if she was doing better. And my aunt responded honestly and said she did not feel better yet.
The woman was almost offended and said that my aunt (who prays day and night) was not praying hard enough. My aunt didn’t feel well but still had her wits about her to not entertain a response.
This “not enough” of ritualistic enactment has me baffled. When we are in the flow, our lives every step, becomes a prayer. The food we eat, the words we say, the thing we do, how we choose to interact and respond to the world.
This is not to say we are perfect. But it is to say that we are aware, we are in peace and joy, thanks and praise.
This does not mean we turn the cheek to injustices to maintain our peace, but we respond to them from a clear mind and heart. Our peace brings peace to others.
You are enough at every moment. Enough.
At my uncle funeral my father said to me with tears in his eyes, “I’m not sure if I believe in God.”, I felt bad he was shaken in his human mortality. He is a nature guy. And my response was that “some people meet god at church, some meet god in nature.” His ethical and deep appreciation for nature, watching the shore lines change with his age. There is something special about that. He stared off. I’m not sure if my words stuck.
I later found out that my father had a huge problem with the church because they would beat them in chatholic school and he would excommunicated from another. The violence that he endured at school is the foundation with all things “spiritual” even incense. His feelings are valid.
I mean even I could loose faith in a loving God through this whole demonic archonic jelly fish possession take over. But my faith was strengthened. I’m just not going to meditate/pray this many times a day and do this or that because I am enough. There is no excuse for this psychic/spiritual violence that I endure. Just as there is no reason my dad should have gotten a beaten from some nun for some mundane act.
They all serve to distract us from our faith. “Well if God was here this wouldn’t happen”, and at times this feels so true. But that is to keep us from our divinity. To keep us from the flow, in our active prayer and appreciation for Gods work.
And when are in appreciation of Gods work, we become creators too, inspired. God created the trees we carve a beautiful chair out of it (cutting down the rainforests aside). We become co-creators. Not destroyer’s of faith, the body, the mind, the family. We look to build each other up and have faith that in time…… Things will work out.