Between Worlds 🌍🌑

I’m somewhere between honoring my ancestor and wondering if they were deceived by the same Demonic entities that tried to force me into suicide as human sacrifice. The same that raped me, and told me it was God.

How do we know what’s real?

Which one is right?

Just because it is “unseen” does not make it true.

I want to still believe in a good and righteous spiritual world. But I haven’t seen it.

I have seen some things that made me wonder. But I have not seen what I would consider righteous as of yet. And even if I did now….. I’m not sure I would even trust it. As it might just be another trap to get me to become some hide out for the most vilest of demons.

How do you know what’s good and what’s bad?…. spiritually? Who is there to support you and who’s not? Does it even matter, because why are they there in the first place? And who does it actually benefit?

I’ve told these demons to leave every hour of every day for a year and a half and they have yet to go.

All it takes is one move for them to burn my genitals, pound on my chest and stopping my heart, to make me pass out, become to physically weak I can barely move like dragging 80lb around. One move towards the positive. One telling of truth for my body to convulse. One vision to cry one sparkle to feel a migraine.

No one has answers, and if they do……. and say nothing………. then they are an accomplice.

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Psychotic Soul Contracts and Soul Ties 😒

How these Demonic Entities get you to agree to Soul Contracts is pretty easy. One they are completely psychotic so it really doesn’t matter.

They ask you a question.

Or then listen in on your deepest fears or wants.

Don’t you want to get your ex back?

(As an example, I didn’t and don’t)

And then they say you are doing XY. AND Z get them back. You are enduring the test of time you are enduring their torture for some goal. And it’s not true.

The link between you and that person or that goal was a “familiar spirit” or an entity pretending it can do anything for you.

They don’t understand moral or no or healing. They involve themselves in human affairs where they should not, only to give themselves power and or purpose.

One way these entities have gotten me to “agree” to things is in my sleep. In that moment were dreams are made they asked a question and make it seem as if I am answering.

They twist the mind. They twist are words and actions to make it seem like this is what we want and this is the only way to get it. It’s not and it won’t and you will be disappointed and they will live off of that disappointment that bad feeling.

False hope. Then they will say “next life time” or some bullshit like that. Because they don’t know how to let go.

Since they are psychotic and don’t understand morals or no and have their own agenda in which I have to understand everything else is a cover…….. play to distract you from their actually being their.

They rape me in my dreams or between sleep this asshole had the nerve to suggest I don’t sleep because then otherwise it seems like that’s what I want. I tell them no all the time wake up angry, I sleep because I don’t want to be irritable or to hallucinate more. But they are always looking for a loophole.

They are like Rumplestilslin , playing on riddles, and games, and contracts only to get what they want.

I told them if they want a contract with me I will need it in physical writing sent to my house with my signature on it other wise all is null and void. No verbal agreements made in my sleep. No playing off my beliefs and wants or fears as some test because in the end it’s not about me it’s about them and what their true desires are in meddling in human minds and affairs.

NULL AND VOID.

This is where many Twin Flames get stuck. They don’t realize to move on with their life and believe their life is dedicated to some other person (that they are usually not with) and they must learn to live in unconditional love with out them while the other continues on with life.

I use twin flame for language. I used it for healing and understanding. But if I truly believed what this Entity was telling me I would be dead. They said I needed “a new vessel” (because my twin flame didn’t like the way I look) “and was human sacrifice” and that I would be “reunited in the next life” with my ex. I did what any person of sound mind and was like “uh NO!” If my ex doesn’t like my vessel then that’s not unconditional love or love at all. That’s the opposite of love.

Getting stuck in these Soul Ties and Soul Contracts are not just words. They are also deep beliefs that are being programmed. So if you think that you need to suffer for an ex or a family member then these demons will stay around waiting to be fed.

NULL AND VOID!

“I’m leaving!” 🙄

“I’m leaving!”

“I’m never coming back!”

“I never want to see you again!”

“Go home!”

“There’s no room for you here!”

Ect, ect, ect……..

So this Demon Entity is always yelling about its going to leave me ….. “just wait for happy birthday!”. Always saying it will leave around my birthday. Or some holiday.

So I’m have a sense of false hope, so those dreams will be crushed. Maybe there is an a sliver of hope that it will leave around these holidays, or when it says it will, or when I went to healers. But it’s all a really terrible play with really really bad acting and a shitty /insane story line.

But I’m pretty set on wanting these demon to leave never being able to contact anyone in anyway ever again. All of them! Disgusting!

I’m trying to keep hope, faith….. those things that things will get better. But I don’t know if I am just tricking myself into a lie.

Must I become an addict to see the Jesus play? Worship Satan to have a good life? This shit sucks balls! Hairy balls, stinky balls, lop sided balls……. just sucks!

I’m stuck here just listening to things I DONT EVEN WANT TO REPEAT!!!! That’s how bad it is! It’s not just a worry or a “negative thought” like some chicks shirt is ugly……. this is like the most vile things I couldn’t even image and don’t want to!!!!

I have to find language to describe it with out repeating the exact vile thought word for word. There is no “just let the thoughts roll by” with this it makes me physically ill, it hurts it’s gross. And even if I try to stay strong for a long period of time I eventually break down cause I can’t hold all that disgusting thoughts in! I scream out for God! To take it away…….. and here it remains. It gets to live….. it gets to play…. dirty….. it rapes me ….. it violates me it tries to scare me it beats on my chest it loops the same thoughts over and over it shows me shit I don’t want repeat. It puppets my face and tries to make me micro express (energetic smile) happiness at the most vile events in the world…. it’s sick. GOD WHY IS IT ALIVE WHY IS IT HERE GOD!!!!!? WHY DOES IT EVEN EXIST?!!!!!!???

Kill it!!!!

Please God kill it!!!!

My Heart 💔

I think I’m going to have a heart attack. Even though my vitals are generally clear they won’t find out why and it will be a mystery.

Even though I am actually relieve that my ex has found love and happy he will start a family.

I on the other hand am still tortured in his name. I’m still raped and pedofiled in his name with his image. Even though my nerves are shot and my hearts in the right place the Entity continues to clench my heart in my chest making it seem like anxiety or pain or heart break every time my ex is mentioned.

So while I am happy for him …… I love to see people win. I am loosing everyday. By what I see hear and feel. Each breath this demon takes away, each skipped heart beat, each lie, each moment I am too tired from pain and torture to actually live.

I know I was the one to check up on him. Maybe I though the truth would stop some of the madness. The Entities telling me I am being tortured to marry my ex. And all other kind of crazy things. I though maybe it would stop but it’s only got worse. Saying sick stuff about their sex life and making fun of the fact I can’t have a child. Just twisted stuff.

Maybe I should have known better. Their is no cure, not enough therapy or shadow work or root work or safe or bath ….. it seem no amount of praying. Will cure this.

I need help! 💩

These demon reptilian incubus archon Entity things FUCKED ME UP!

I’m so fucked up off this shit. Anytime I try to contemplate God it fucks me up, anytime I try to progress it fucks me up, a positive thought it FUCKS ME UP!

I’m confused as shit! I don’t know what’s good or bad anymore in this experience. I don’t know what’s what, do I pray with with a demon cursing my life? I don’t feel like I can pray for anyone cause I am afraid I will curse them just for the shits and giggles of irony from these demons.

They say talk to God….. they say listen to God…. I don’t hear God! I just hear nasty demons. I feel them I see them. I know their set up. I’m stuck in defending myself. Trapped.

Anytime I listen to a message or a sermon of God these demons are twisting every word around to the point of exhaustion. It’s sick!

I’m so tired of the same things looping over and over and over. Incest, child molestation, my ex, some one dying, religious distortion. Like shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did everything I could possibly do with in my knowledge and ability. And now I’m trying to have faith and just leave it Gods hands. But this is so sick!

What do I do in the moments that I wait? I don’t know what to do anymore. Going outside I have a nervous fucking break down cause it’s pedo shit. Listen to music is automatically about my ex who has moved on and is starting a family. And caring about my family is turned into incest or death every moment of every fucking day and I am tired of this shit!

I know I am not alone and that makes it even worse that good people are going through this bullshit.

I can totally see why people loose faith. I haven’t but I can see why. If it ain’t how people treat you then it’s some nasty demon on your back perverting God.

What

The

Fuck!?

I wish I knew what I did to deserve this. Like really know not this demon conjuring up some bullshit story. Just really know. I asked for forgiveness prayed…. I don’t know why this even exist it’s such a waste of time and energy.

I hate it. I hate these demons….. everything sucks!

Proof I’m not totally crazy 😳

You have to zoom in on it or not have a white background.

This is just ONE of the many I see around me. The voice Entity kept saying it was my grandma and it made me sad cause I thought my grandma (recently passed) got sucked into their hell matrix but I soon grounded myself and know they lie about everything thing.

I rarely see human like faces more troll demon reptilian like heads. Writing I rarely understand.

I’m not sure what all of this is or why but it’s happening.

Trauma and Entity attachments?

Why do we live in a would that if a rapist rapes that the victim then suffers Entity attachments? That loop and replay and cause fear and torment …… to relive the trauma over and over again.

Why don’t we live in a world where the rapist are spiritually tortured and tormented?

Why must the victim not only be revictimized socially, politically, and then spiritually?!???!!!

And the rapist just go about their life, make their money, date some chick that will never know what they did, have babies….

All the while you are tormented to the point that you can never trust anyone ever again, therapy once a week with the copay, eating every feeling, all the while every terrible thought is on replay while you pick up a bunch new ones.

Why do we live in a world where the bad people and the bad entities get away with everything all the while those who are victims or try to do good are constantly re traumatized?

I just don’t get it. It’s so backwards.

And then we revictimize by saying you didn’t do this enough….. shouldn’t have went here or done that….. that if you knew better you wouldn’t have been in the situation…… what about getting rid of these situations?

I miss good….. my faith in good is slowly diminishing.

I couldn’t even mourn the death of my grandmother who raised me because of this Entity just being nasty all day.

Can we not mourn? Grieve?

I’m tired in a way sleep will never quench.

How spirits/demons see? 😱

How do spirits, demons, beings see with out eyes?

Is it our eyes?

Do they see something completely different? Seeing is done telepathically consciousness imagination?

But still what would be the reference point?

How does a flower or a nose or a hand look like such when it comes to spirits?

Eyes see because of light waves and nerves that actually decode.

Just wondering.

The demon that won’t leave told me in the beginning “my eyes are your eyes” ………

Unfortunately I was tricked by these Entities into thinking this was a spiritual awakening…… it wasn’t I that woke up (I been woke) ……. but them.

I can’t believe this is real life. 😳

So like WTF?

How is this real life? Like I know life has ups and downs, but right now I hit a plateau of just going to sleep and waking up to nasty Entity voices saying and doing nasty shit all day.

And like a LOT of people are hearing the exact same nasty shit all day….. how is this real life?!

I just can’t believe this is my life right now.

I’m only staying alive cause I’m petty other wise I’m pretty grossed the fuck out by life at this present moment. All levels.

I’m done trying to understand my abusers on all levels. I can’t wrap my mind around their logic and I need to accept that I never will.

Spiritual, emotional, mental, political abusers!

I can’t rock with it…. I don’t get it…. especially when they don’t stop.

This is how people snap….

But I won’t…. I’m petty. Fuck that shit. I’m too cute for that.

I just never thought in all my life I would be harassed by some disgusting demonic reptilian 2D flat floating astral assholes 24/7 none stop……. and made to seem crazy.

A waste of time and life. Like I don’t even care about these assholes.

I wish the were like sucked into a black hole never to return.

I can barely get fresh air with out being harassed.

I just never thought this could be real.

I will never understand why or who or how or why….. because it’s insane. There is nothing to understand about the insanity. You want to pick out some pretty gems cool, but essentially this shits insane and pointless.

So……… idk.

Does a Curse make you go to hell? 🔥☃️🔥

If someone or something cursed you or whatever do you automatically go to hell? Like even if you are a decent person?

Like what does it mean to be cursed?

All I see and hear and feel is damn near close to hell. And I have no idea why I would be cursed but there are bad people and beings that do unspeakable things.

But what does that mean ? Are we only cursed in this life or are we then dragged to hell by default because of the things we see and hear?

Idk what this all is. I am not afraid. But I’m kindaaaaaaa over it? I honestly don’t even have the attention span for this schizophrenic demonic reptilian incubus curse.