Godless World

So I believe in God. I want to believe in something better than me or my situation. But currently I feel like we live in a Godless world. And it just a bunch of entities playing make believe.

I see no evidence of God being here. Just the fact that evil exist. And if evil exist there must be good. And when I’m talking about evil, I’m talking about something greater than human. What drives some humans to be evil.

All I see is evil. Scary monster faces saying the most vile things. And I just don’t get it.

I believe in God and Good. I just don’t see it anywhere spiritually in my life or reality.

Aboriginal Entities

These are Aboriginal Entities deemed as Sky Gods. I was watching ancient aliens season 11 episode 7 and noticed there was a similarity between my drawings from 2017 to these Sky Gods draw on the caves in Australia. It’s mainly the eyes. Apparently the Aboriginal go into a dream time state which would be considered the Astral Plane.

There is emphasis on the head and not the body which I noticed too with these entities. I only saw the body once and assumed it was the same one and kind of Phillies in the details. But the eyes!!!

This is an alien dude I caught on camera. It’s the easiest to see.

Either way I though it was interesting. I don’t know why I would be seeing aboriginal entities. Or how it all relates to much. These entities are TERRIBLE to me. I wish it was a wonderful magical connection, but it’s not. Once I stopped playing it’s game it got vicious. Much of which I documented in this blog.

Comment your thoughts.

5G and Etheric Entities

So there is this video going around on Facebook saying that 5G is causing Covid19. Now I will say radiation will make you sick. Even when we had huge solar flare when the sun would shoot radiation to the earth I would know because I would get sick. Having a weakened immune system I get it. But 5G is NOT what is causing this virus to spread. We have had plagues and diseases happen since forever. So we must be balances and logical about this.

Walk on the wild side with me for a little bit while I go into my own conspiracy theory about 5G.

Now I will say 5G and any frequency wave that includes radio all have something connected to the etheric astral 4D realms whatever you want to call it.

To me Radio frequencies are no different than 5G. Logically. It’s a frequency being dispersed and used.

So 5G is at about 40watt and microwave oven is at about 600watts. I think the only difference is that we are not constantly swimming in it and security/privacy issues.

I’m not an expert. I’m just talking off the dome. From my observation after being demonically attacked is that they work on these different wave lengths. And they are out here acting like people’s twin flames, dead grandpas, arch angels, Jesus, God, Satan himself, reptilians, aliens, ghosts, higher selves, past lives and god knows what else. The Bible says even Gods elect will be deceived. Many of us what the feeling of an earthly supernatural feeling that we are down forget how and why we serve and why we are here.

Much of the “spiritual community” has been divided and conquered. Between capitalist intent, to misinformation to alienating those that aren’t “high vibes”, to just enabling insanity. Mimicking the religions we have critique all too often.

Well Christianity killed people. Well this misinformation is killing people spiritually if not driving people into insanity or suicide.

I KNOW talking about demonic entities is crazy! But I feel the need to at least speak out to those that battle them physically in this 3D world. That they are not alone and that because we have this deep experience we can be agents of God. Not in a magical light worker way. But in a real way. In a daily way. Humble servants bringing the light which is the word of God to say we can get through this. Because it says so.

We have generations ahead of us. And either we are going to equip them with the knowledge and word to actually combat this shit (for free) or throw them to the wolves to end up feeling like we felt. Alone. Abandoned. Empty. Scared out of our minds. Suicidal.

And it is natural to have these moments but to LIVE in those moments is not. Because that is not why God created us.

We need discernment now more than ever.

I study these demons as a contrast to God. That is what I see, everyday. I know if they exist something greater and good exist.

I try explain these demonic entities work on a matrix of light spectrum that hold a electromagnetic field and thus a level of radiation and that radiation HURTS (if you know you know), many targeted individuals will speak about it but understand it as government or cooperation satellites. That people (demonic entities) are connected to them through remote neural monitoring.

The radiation and pressure of these entities really do hurt and “brings down your vibration” or immune system. I had not gotten sick in a decade until I got “schizophrenia” or attacked by these demonic entities. Then I got sick every year. Getting worse every year. And I would randomly spew vomit and I got high blood pressure and nerve issues. It breaks down the body. It physically hurts. It’s not just seeing and hearing these entities or trying to convince of their lies.

We MUST stop believing their lies. Detach from our need for a cool experience and stop spreading lies that are harming people for eternity.

That simple.

Snapshot: What they just said: Fuck your college career

So I babysit my godson (despite my experience) because my missing my bestie and godson exceeded my hopelessness about my situation. I pick him up from school as a favor to my bestie because she is in school.

Her going to back inspired me to go back. So now I will be going back part time to just have something to do. I feel so much pain my body but I also get really bored listening to these demons all day.

I called these Demon Alien Spider entities retarded (I don’t like to use that term but for them it’s reasonable). Retarded because they are nasty pedo rapists.

And the big head demon said “fuck your college career”, then showed a vision of me taking care of my godson and then they had some quick convo and said “well we have to fuck something up in her life”.

So…………………. that’s my life every moment of every day.

Let’s see what happens.

Ooooooof.

Morning Spiritual/Astral Rape

I woke up this morning being astrally raped. The way I know it’s not my subconscious mind is that these being take over my dream state and I made such a big fuss about the raping me in my waking and dream life that they have tried to move to raping me and making it seem as though I am masterbating in my dreams. REALLY!? I feel all of it, and since they are nasty fucks they wanna make it seem like it’s me. It’s not. Rape is rape whether you show a visual simulation of me masturbating in my dreams or not.

And they still do the pedo shit.

I heard one of them say something about they are doing this ethically and not lethal which could be them just repeating stuff from a target individual group, but there is nothing ethical about what they are doing. They want me to know it’s a rape dream they want to rape. Otherwise it would be pretty simple to have me live my life think it was all sex dreams which I never had in my life until now.

I fucking hate these entities. God said we suppose to forgive these entities are just sick. Please someone put them out of their misery.

I’m tired of talking about astral rape. I’m tired of getting raped. Them replaying traumas in my mind. Pedo 💩🤢🤢🤢🤢. Incest 🤢🤢🤢. Physical pain. Like over it. This is how I am suppose to start my day?

I just told my best friend that I really hate rapist. And that since my rape over the last 4 years I wake up to being raped by some entity every other morning if not through out the day. And it sucks.

There has been no progression in my case really. Nothing. Just a stand still.

East River NYC: Entity in the East River: How I see Entities

So I see entities a number of different ways. One way is in a dream state, the other is vision, which is very similar to recalling in the imagination, but forced in the mind. The next is if they are feeling BOLD it would be considered a hallucination or an apparition. So actually seeing an outline of these Entities just randomly in my living room or bedroom. As a side note they tend to stay in the same thing places. They don’t move a that much unless attached or seen.

Most often I see their watery outline. Or I see a smoke like line move through space. Or sparkles if I am looking it’s way randomly.

Most attribute sparkles to Angels and I have not found this to be the case. I have found this to be entities of whatever sort, connecting to or getting closer to you. That’s how they move. If you see a sparkle I think it’s an entity getting closer to you.

Now another way I see them is through what I call patterning. It’s difficult to explain because I’m still kinda understanding it. But against pattern be it in nature or in this city skyline I can see them as well.

The most recent occurrence would be a perfect example. So I take a cab home usually after taking care of my godson. The Uber goes up the FDR on the East Side of Manhattan. For a couple of weeks I have seen entities “patterned” against the LARGE skyline of Brooklyn but found it to be Queens later. I explain my experience HERE.

Basically I saw the entities face against the sky line and the a blue light dropped out of the sky. It was SUPER ODD! And even the voice/ entity that harassed me said “OH SHIT!” when I saw it. They are dramatic so I take that aspect with a grain of salt. But they looked similar to the entities that where harassing me. I calmly observed. Some nights I saw them in THE SAME AREA, which is where the Pepsi sign is in Queens. Some nights I didn’t but mostly I did.

Now I said since I give no fucks nowadays that I was going to go over there and see what’s going on energetically. And then you know what happened today? Lol they moved to Brooklyn. Lol so I saw the pattering against the night skyline in lower part of the East River.

Are they scared of me going over there? Why move? They act buck wild most days.

I’m not going to chase these demonic alien bobble spiders heads all over NYC but they can kindly get the fuck up out my city and my life.

If anyone does energy work or matrix work definitely check the East River or edges of NYC. HUGE entities over there.

Imma snitch fuck em. 🖕🏽

Update: It near Grand Ferry Park in Brooklyn.

Astral Spiders: And their web of lies.

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

What I see mostly NOW is astral spiders.

Unlike before where I saw developed trolls and reptilian looking beings.

These astral spiders are also like an octopus 🐙. Like a big main head, then these legs that can do many things.

This is just a quick drawing how I have seen them. I have seen 3 max at one time one on my left one on my right and one that looked female and shot out my perception when I awoke to seeing them. The the one on my left proceeded to take a straw that came out of their mouth and spewed “black energy” into my eyes so I could not see them as clearly any more. I could still see them moving around just not clear.

This attachment to my eyes allows them to show me dreams, and visions. Usually sick gross visions.

They are a hive mind and will often repeat things I am doing or thinking or feeling to the others. they have come to understand my emotions pretty well even the silent ones. They will also lie about my emotions trying to manipulate them and make me think a certain way.

BUT I KNOW MYSELF VERY WELL!!!

Fuck em!

They seem to attach to the nervous system.

Brain, Gut, genitals seem to be the easiest. They don’t seem to attach to the heart very often but occasionally.

The healer I paid to help me with my situation, while I thought she healed my sciatica caused by the astral spiders she seemed to have maybe moved them. They either attach to my lower spine/butt area ( severe sciatica) or to my skull/brain (SEVERE MIGRAINES). When the are attached to my spine no migraine, when they are attached to my brain no sciatica. Coincidence? I think not.

There are other cartoony looking looney toons in the mix but the main players right now are these spiders.

My guess is that the work for reptilian (whatever hellish hierarchy of demonic aliens they are), or bottom feeders.

Either way they hurt like crazy. My body hurts so much for so long because of them I actually for what it feels like to be ok. Needless and pointless pain. And I am wasting money going to the doctors for them to say nothing is wrong with me. They will give me a pill anyway. So like the schizophrenic meds don’t work.

They gave me high blood pressure meds, but my guess is that that when these demons mesh with your body, with your cells, possessing your skin, flesh, organs your nervous system, to obtain whatever the fuck it is they are trying to obtain…… it naturally raises your blood pressure. And then even MORE if they are trying manipulate your emotions and mentality to get you worked up. They also rape, just like the reptilians but maybe not as much.

I call the one I have seen talking to me “Baby Ghost” 👻 because their large heads kind of looks like Casper. Lol yea I hate them though. I’ve spent so much money trying to get rid of them. I would give the healer all I had if she was able to get rid of these things, but I tested her for 4+ sessions and I did not see much result or anything that was able to be maintained past my interaction with her. So it’s kind of pointless. Just a money suck …… for me anyway.

The healer said she got attacked by astral spiders before. And she does not like spiders at all, and going into my session she had to overcome her fear. To be honest it was martyring herself in a way.

This guy I watch called Detox Dude on YouTube said essentially if your healer is getting attacked then you need a new healer. A healer should not be making you feel like they are being harmed by your presence.

I mean I can see not remotely but in the physical 3D world things attached to people and I can assess their symptoms to astral attachments. I could also come up with a story as to WHY. But I didn’t go to a healer for a story I go to them for removal and that is what I keep getting from them. Story time. Not removal.

Not sure what to do anymore.

I just document this experience in hopes others don’t feel alone. So I don’t feel alone too.

We really are children in Christ

I am taking care of my Godson. And I have been blessed to be in this position. To watch him grow, to challenge myself, to love, to influence another human being positively (hopefully) in this world.

Today my Godson smacked me in my face because he didn’t get his way. We had a good day and he asked if he could give me a kiss on the cheek in bed, I said ok. Then he asked me to read a book, I said no because it was bed time and because he didn’t listen earlier. And stuck out my cheek for a kiss goodnight as he smacked it. This was the first time he has done something like this. But he does misbehave.

I stepped a way to the door and told him “Don’t you ever in you life smack me in the face again” I felt really disrespected especially since all I do is try to support and help him. I had to call his mom so she could reprimand him over the phone. He reluctantly said sorry. But I plan to speak to him more tomorrow about it at a level he can understand. That he hurt my feelings and he should not put hands on anyone else. (No one hits him in the house and I know the difference between play fighting and malicious aggression).

I know this is a part of growing up. Pushing the boundaries. But as I was watching the sermon from Transformation Church tonight. The message was in short about appreciating what God has got us through. And where we are now. And I thought about my struggles with my Godson. And how I could give him everything he needs and wants and he will ask for something else and smack me in the face when he does not get his way. A brat essentially.

I am a brat to God. I mean I rarely asked for much. But, good or bad, God got me through and made a way. Christianity is my roots. While Ifa is deep roots of understanding my ancestors. Christianity is what was instilled in me as a kid.

I think about how angry I am/was with God that he didn’t remove this demonic bobble head alien spider demon octopus 🐙 thing from my body and life. The pain, the 🤢, the rape. Why would God allow for something like this to exist and to harm me.

Last night I thanked God for allowing me to see this side of life and maintain some sanity even though I am clinically seen as insane with the label schizophrenic attached to me. I’ve met some interesting people. I saw that despite my previous sexual orientation my family really came through for me. And over time while this experience has not stopped there are some better moments now than there was 3/4 years ago. The intensity has gone down a bit but the pain is still there. Today was difficult to walk and I needed more caffeine than a human should have to reanimate my body and get through the day lol.

I got kicked out of Schizophrenic Group because I said something about God. I said that God isn’t a Happy Meal. Meaning that we don’t just wish and get what we want. That there is work that goes into it, spiritually or physically, emotionally, mentally, financially…. etc.

But I thought about how often (speaking from my own perspective, so this includes me) that we get upset with God and smack him in the face. And like a good parent, he stands there and wait till we are done with our shinnagings, or allows us to feel what not being in his presence really feels like.

It scares me because so many people commute suicide during these times, or do harm but that is our test and something bigger than my human brain can fully comprehend.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel or in the tunnel there is someone who is guiding the way.

I was just thinking about how we (like children) always want more from God, with the least amount of effort or remembering all God has got us through prior. And how we turn into brats when we don’t get our way. Or even hateful towards God.

I know I did.

Sermon here:

Unpopular Opinion: Fragmented Soul?

I have not expanded on this yet but I wanted to put this out there.

So many healers will say that our souls have been “fragmented” because of trauma of any sort. I meditated on this concept for a little bit and had a thought purely based on my perception.

Wonder if these supposed “soul fragments” and “light bodies” or “higher selves” are not really US. They are attached to us, but they are not OUR soul. That maybe all this fragmentation is that of an Entity that is attached to us and that is what the healer is seeing.

Entities play a very huge role in our lives whether we want to admit it or not. They can easily influence our beliefs and actions if we are unsuspecting.

Most of the entities I have observed are made of light or use light to move around. I honestly by default do not see them as good. Because the ones I have met lie about who and what they are exactly. Usually they will try to take a position of authority over you taking away some of your power. This can be as innocent as a spirit guide, angel, loved one that is watching over us to higher selves etc.

So wonder if what the healer is seeing and speaking to is these separate entities from our actual souls who then in turn influence our lives which ever way they want to. Wonder if it’s just another layer to the game I don’t particularly want to play?

All to often I get feedback from healers who give some sort of excuse for not being able to help me hundreds of dollars into the game. It’s frustrating. It’s either my fault or something completely out of my control. And i did not pay money to hear why you can’t help me. That’s why I hate when people charge for spiritual services. Like I get it, but honestly if that person was able to fix my situation I would MAKE SURE to tip them generously.

Either way, I just wonder if this is just another game to play for them. When the healer was speaking to the spiders that have been attacking me I did not hear any speaking or communication which is interesting since they are in fact attached to me and sucking my life force. I’m not even sure if me and the healer is seeing the same thing which again would be odd. Like they way I see the astral spiders I don’t know if it is the same way she does.

And why is that?

So all this higher self, light bodies, to me just seem like more entity astral play. Only it’s no fun for me. I’m a slave to trying to heal myself in some way. Spending money I shouldn’t with out much results.

Either way just some thoughts.

Religion/ Belief: It’s not fair!!!!

So, I have a very complicated view around religion. And I guess DETAILS of a “religious/spiritual” life.

I mean there are one so many different religions. Then on top of that Christianity alone has so many different sects. And it’s like one sect is like don’t eat shellfish and women wear skirts only and the other is like God loves everyone no matter what. And it’s REALLY REALLY CONFUSING!

Like beliefs and religion and spirituality it’s all super confusing. And then I have my beliefs and that is crossed with what I experience (which is being tormented by some demonic entity, acts like demons looks like an alien head on a spiders body 😳 yea FML). Like HOW DO YOU EVER RESOLVE ANY OF THAT?!

Is is demons that look like aliens, is it just disgruntled aliens? Is it occult black magic to make me lose it?

Like religion doesn’t tell you, YO you might encounter a demon that looks like a big headed alien or a fucked up teddy bear and it will try to trick you….. and so many new agey spiritual beliefs are like far out there that many times I just think it’s the crafting of people who have been dipped by these entities. But then that still doesn’t explain them and why they are here or playing with us.

Like seriously my whole belief system is honestly shattered into pieces.

This shaman lady told me that “my masculine side feels hopeless and like no one or nothing can help it” and that is why I am getting attacked and the masculine side is not protecting the feminine and that if “my masculine side BELIEVES that, nothing she does will work”, well that is nice to know $500+ later! Very convenient.

Even when taking these stupid medication, or spending my money on these shamans like all I have is to go on what i have seen play out in the past. But I still engage it because idk what else to do. So there is a part of me that hopes it works, while keeping my expectations low. And a part of me is like, if it’s medical schizophrenia, meds should work regardless if I think it’s some alien demon. And if it’s an spiritual thing, then who ever I go to for help should be able to just pluck these fuckers out whether I believe exactly what they believe or not. Because my EXPERIENCE is different then theirs. Like some distant healing shamans see these things are just colors or shapes, I see them as straight up crazy looking entities because they are all in my face in 3D. Like actually, not just on some “astral travel lucid dreaming tip” like all around me chillin my house like they pay rent.

And God and Jesus is no where to be found. Jesus’ name does not make them run for me. These assholes said they were Jesus when they electrocuted me mean and showed me a vision of a modern looking Latino guy. They think they are funny, I don’t.

These Entities broke my faith.

I’m being honest.

Like why are they able to do what they do to me? To anyone?

Why cant anyone who has “gifts” help me? Why can’t God show ME grace?

I figured no matter what I believe because of my immediate circumstance, that something ….. anything should work. I tried to cover all my bases.

Medication, holding on to faith in God as well as seeking assistance for people who supposedly know more about this stuff then I do.

Like I’m tired of getting raped by demons or whatever the fuck this thing is. And I’m tired of being shunned by all aspects of spiritual beliefs because my experience, which is all I have to go on, doesn’t match up with theirs. I’m tired of waiting on God. I’m tired of seeing these doctors that prescribe me a pill that does absolutely nothing. Like Benadryl does more for me than these antipsychotic meds.

And all these people push this situation back on me. Not that I am pushing it on them, but they always make me feel like it’s my fault or I’m not doing enough. And THAT makes me feel crazy. Just constantly doing and no results. I’m doing the best I can with what I got. Like people are experiencing this all over the world in various degrees mine just happens to suck more because I get raped and molested and these entities drain my energy to the point I pass out or never feel rested even when I sleep for two days.

So like what am I suppose to do? That is why people get paid…. right? They are the expert. If I sat there and tried to prescribe my own self meds then…. what do I look like?

And what’s worse is that this shaman said it’s “my masculine half” that’s going through this and my feminine half is rejecting him. And like this is all happening on a level I have no control over. So it doesn’t matter that I have kept my paths open. Or that there are other possibilities. There is nothing I can do about it.

And then religion just tells you to wait for Gods grace, or that you are a sinner and deserve this. And I’m like HUH? Like even “Gods favorite” was used as an example. Job right? Lost everything? So did he deserve it? Or like is a cancer patient suppose to sit there and just pray the cancer away? Or do you go to treatment?

Like it gets so funky and confusing.

And that is not even going into the hypocrisy of a Christians.

And if grace doesn’t show up in your life, then there is something wrong with you. Not the fact that socioeconomically the world SUCKS, or your body is just not strong enough to fight off whatever, or that accidents/ catastrophes just happen.

And that’s the same thing I am finding with these “healers”, if what they did doesn’t work, there is something wrong with YOU! Not the fact that what they did and took money for didn’t work.

I don’t know I’m close to just being agnostic at this point, cause honestly I don’t know shit. All I know is there is some big head alien spiders fucking with me and trying to ruin my life. That’s all I know for sure. And even that could be an illusion. Maybe they don’t look like aliens maybe they look like giant etheric PUSSIES floating around in the “astral”.

I’m tired of this.