BLOCKED: waiting for my life to happen

Right now my life is at a stand still. I waiting for something to work in my favor. Anything. The meds don’t get rid of the voices neither do the shamans.

There is a gym literally right next door to me in my building and the guy who would authorize me for a key is giving me the run around.

I didn’t want to get a job until I was a wee bit healthier in mind and body.

I just feel blocked in everything I’m trying to do to “get back on my feet” and not be a lazy lump.

This pastor said you need to get your plans approved by God but HOW? I’m cursed with a demon spirit husband alien thing. I’m trying my best to just keep my shit together.

I don’t know what to do when everything I’m trying to do is being blocked.

What I don’t get….

So like I have this psychopath reptilian archon Entities alien demon talking to me ALL DAY and like I can’t have like ONE angel or goddess or really cool alien talk to me?

Why GOD?

All this one does is scream and hyper sexualize every mundane minute and detail of my life till I want to vomit.

Where are the good beings at? Or is that a joke too?

Loosing faith…..

I will always believe in God.

But all this schizophrenic life this spiritual stuff ……… everyone seems to have a different answer why but no solid solution that has work.

Pills don’t work, salt baths and white light of protection doesn’t work, binaural beats don’t work, meditation don’t work, nothing has gotten rid of the voices other than realizing they weren’t the people they were pretending to be.

That kept them in check not got rid of them.

But I’m loosing faith here.