Morning Spiritual/Astral Rape

I woke up this morning being astrally raped. The way I know it’s not my subconscious mind is that these being take over my dream state and I made such a big fuss about the raping me in my waking and dream life that they have tried to move to raping me and making it seem as though I am master STI g in my dreams. REALLY!? I feel all of it, and since they are nasty fucks they wanna make it seem like it’s me. It’s not. Rape is rape whether you show a visual simulation of me masturbating in my dreams or not.

And they still do the pedo shit.

I heard one of them say something about they are doing this ethically and not lethal which could be them just repeating stuff from a target individual group, but there is nothing ethical about what they are doing. They want me to know it’s a rape dream they want to rape. Otherwise it would be pretty simple to have me live my life think it was all sex dreams which I never had in my life until now.

I fucking hate these entities. God said we suppose to forgive these entities are just sick. Please someone put them out of their misery.

I’m tired of talking about astral rape. I’m tired of getting raped. Them replaying traumas in my mind. Pedo 💩🤢🤢🤢🤢. Physical pain. Like over it. This is how I am suppose to start my day?

I just told my best friend that I really hate rapist. And that since my rape over the last 4 years I wake up to being raped by some entity every other morning if not through out the day. And it sucks.

There has been no progression in my case really. Nothing. Just a stand still.

Observation: False Fear (and other emotions) caused by entities. 👽👻💩

So while I am all about feeling your feels. I also want to touch on false emotions caused by demonic entity oppression.

The easiest instance that I can explain is that entities have watched and observed us collectively or individually enough to mimic our emotions. The good news is that they don’t do it very well.

Often I think the easiest emotions are anxiety or depression. Now this does NOT mean that someone can not suffer from anxiety or depression. I mean we all have moments that worry us or sadden us. That is natural what is not natural is when we do not feel connected to them. Often the entities will pretend to be self talk in order to excuse the emotion that they place with in us. Again this can be anger, anxiety, depression, fear, jealousy, sexual attraction and even LOVE.

J worked through a lot of the anxiety and depression. I know who I am and was able to discern quickly that something wasn’t right even though I didn’t have language or examples to connect to. So when I felt anxiety I breathed through it because often it was a more physical emotion, like a beating in my chest accompanied by racing thoughts. Mimicked depression is more subtle. I think despite my situation I have done a lot of work to keep a balance with in the situation. I allowed myself to soothe myself as I experienced this unimaginable experience. I blogged, made art, watched my favorite movies, stayed away from triggers until I was ready to face them.

I did what I needed to do to stay in my sweet spot of calm while this horrific experience unfolded around me. I was fortunate. But I know others are not. Many face homelessness, living with unsupportive people, the stress of daily life, work …. kids etc. so I know it’s not easy to really sit back and observe the situation if you don’t even have the time to do that due to life.

I think the easiest example I can explain this (which I have mention in this blog) is that at times the Entities will reveal themselves to me either in space (floating) or in my mind (eyes). The times that they have done this they would say my name or word suddenly and jolt/electrocuted my body or my chest to make it seem like I was scared of them when I saw them. I’m honestly not scared. I might be naturally startled, but scared and in the extreme feeling they try to create nope. Like they are literally acting like deranged psycho kids trying to scare me. And this is mostly due because I won’t give them the emotions or the play like I use to so now they are going on divergent levels of physical pain.

So that is an example of False Fear. I have been seeing the Entities for a couple of years now so I’m not scared of them. If anything I was curious because I thought I could figure out how to make them go away. But that was a fruitless endeavor for me. All I can do is discern and see them and document and share the information I have observed.

I don’t think people understand how every cell in my body screams when they are connected to me or around me. Like it almost literally feels like trying to squish multiple spirits in a body like a suit case that is overflowing. My cells and muscles make a crunching, snapping or release sound sone times when I stretch because there are smaller entities are attached.

It’s like being hooked up to an EKG or something, like the larger entity has all the multiple smaller entities attached to different parts of your body to give you the full on matrix virtual feeling but they are a miss. And their attachment hurts, essentially in the head.

So when you are say worried that a loved one hasn’t called you, (which is natural), the entities will take it a step further and exasperated the worry and the feeling and start saying things to like, “they are mad at you”, “something happened to them” and if they are attached to your eyes show you images/visions of your loved one harmed.

I’m not sure WHY THEY DO THIS! But they are relentless! I mean I honestly don’t understand why this entities haven’t gone away. I mean they are literally beating a dead horse.

And it sucks because I have to be SUPER MINDFUL of my emotions. Like if it’s an overwhelming feeling, for example they will give an emotion like I am in love with them which is FAAAAAAAAAAR from any time of truth, I will recognize it as what it is and let it roll by, what until it’s over, and KNOW that that feeling is false. But sometimes ones like depression or self loathing can be more difficult to shake. Like a week or so ago I literally felt the false emotion of depression/sadness and it took upmost The Who day to shake it and it didn’t go away until I mentioned it to a healer friend. Like I felt the release and it left my body, and my body just relaxed in a way I can’t fully explain to you.

So, be aware of your feelings, if you actually connect with it or if what the trigger might have been, ground yourself in reality and speak the positive in your mind (because worrying won’t change the situation and you won’t know what to do until you know), pray, and don’t give these demonic entities anything!

Energetic Bodies

So I took a photo of my body in a dim lit room like I do to see other things.

And I saw that my energetic (I think it is mine or it could be another being) had 3 holes in it. It looked almost a cavern. I saw a pair of eyes in one of the holes.

Then I remember in January a gang of 30 or more Geckos all shot me in my stomach and then my eating habits changed. I wrote about in my blog.

Then maybe 3 months later a male face came to me and removed a band of maybe 5 astral parasites but left one that I could still feel and later saw.

My assumption was that the astral parasites were covering or closing the holes that was caused by the attack in January.

Why they were taken away or I was attacked in the first place I am unsure.

Does a Curse make you go to hell? 🔥☃️🔥

If someone or something cursed you or whatever do you automatically go to hell? Like even if you are a decent person?

Like what does it mean to be cursed?

All I see and hear and feel is damn near close to hell. And I have no idea why I would be cursed but there are bad people and beings that do unspeakable things.

But what does that mean ? Are we only cursed in this life or are we then dragged to hell by default because of the things we see and hear?

Idk what this all is. I am not afraid. But I’m kindaaaaaaa over it? I honestly don’t even have the attention span for this schizophrenic demonic reptilian incubus curse.

Imaginary Friend 🍃👻🍃

I had some “the gruge” like or alien raptor visuals in the begining ….. But I laughed at them …. So oddly my visuals are not AS strong although I have like floating emojis around the house which are odd and visions of child abuse or which is terrifying or random photos of people. 

I guess I am more stern because of the auditory …. Speaking creates more of a relationship. So it’s like one moment the voices would have me crying from saying moms gonna die, then sucidial from a sick visual of child sexual abuse and then trying manipulate me back into a friendly demeanor by making jokes or saying they love me. I realized this was a cycle of abuse. 

The Reconciliation /Honeymoon phase is “The victim feels pain, fear, humiliation, disrespect, confusion, and may mistakenly feel responsible. Characterized by affection, apology, or, alternatively, ignoring the incident, this phase marks an apparent end of violence, with assurances that it will never happen again, or that the abuser will do his or her best to change.” 

The first time I was introduced to this was when my best friend in high school told me that her mom would beat her, and then clean her wounds and tell her sorry and it won’t happen again and do it again. I asked my mom if she could live us but she couldn’t. 

Once I found this habitual pattern of abuse…. As much as those funny moments are so important for relief to the constant verbal abuse… To love and not hate…. To laugh….. I sadly had to accept that these voices will never change…. And I can no longer enable their abuse. Nor can I trust any attempt to gain my trust. 

This is called trauma. Not being able to leave a state of constant distrust or being on gaurd…… Physically harms the body in itself as well as how I interact with others. I’m trying to simply be clear and stern about my boundaries rather than be become a full blown narc. But it hurts and its hard because this is NOT my true nature. 

Sans the sick twisted abusive stuff…. I have no problem having an imaginary alien rapture friend that remixes gregorian music, plays air ghost tic tac toe and makes decent jokes given a natrual break in communication and with out pain from them touching me is gone.

Yea…. I am liberal about being crazy.

Monster Logos ❤


Not all but many of the “energy”, entities, aliens, archons whatever you want to call them have a … Logo of sorts. I would assume, since they seem to be a hivr mind ad they attach to a humans individuality they long for that same separation. Thus a representation …. A logo of themselves of sorts.

Either way….. Each being…. Yes is individual in a way or for the moment…. And they CAN tether to you to sustain it self itself in whatever form that truly is. 

Just as they tether they can disconnect…. But who wants to find a new victim to learn? 

No I have seen “energy” or Entities that DID NOT connect to me physically and did not force itself to stay in my field or my home. 

I have to keep reminding myself there is a good spiritual world. And just because I have been forced to see this side that doesn’t make me a bad person for trying to understand and not leaving it to prayer alone. The Entities often try to guilt me…. Saying I’m a bad christian or something like that…. Because I donyt leave this to prayer alone. Again, Me, God, Meds. 

One of my friends told me about a story where she was in s parade in Chile and she fainted and then a shaman help her friend carry her to a place and then the shaman blew smoke on her back and pulled out like a teddy bear smoke logo. This teddy bear was a teather from an entity attempting to attach or hide in her. But was removed. 

Just like I had logos #, 👽, X, ❤  of all kinda stuff on arms and body. I can see but I can not remove them.

If I look directly where I know there is an “energy field” portal, alien demon whatever…. It will spew something at me…. It will sparkle maybe black maybe white and then I will see a smaller “portal” near me or a logo on my skin or my third eye. 

When I take photos of my face…. It legit looks like a child scribbled on my forehead. Especially the 3rd. I don’t know how long they last, or if they wash off in a shower… Or what. 

But sorry we want our people to be spiritually OK they need to know this shit good or bad.if you are walking around with a naked lady in your arua masterbating then that’s fucked up. That’s what I saw in this one guys field…. And he knew what I was talking about. I never a full figure before. 

I have no interest in playing with these entities…. Or anyone else for that matter when it comes to this. I seek to be free of the bullshit that is not me. Like this is basic shit. 

Spiritual Bypassing Revisited. 😲😲😲

So spiritual bypassing. 

We are basically saying that if you don’t get almost literally spiritually jumped and cosmically punched in the face that you don’t get the badge of honor of being “inept”. To………… What? 

Do y’all see how we are perpetuating abuse even through our spiritual communities. 

We allow these “spirits” entities to cause harm and then run around thinking its an honor….. And we are enlightened. 

GUYS FUCK THAT!

FUCK THAT TODAY AND TOMORROW AND FOREVER FUCK THAT!

Basically you are enabling cosmic spiritual bullying.

And we are suppose to grow from that?!

Think about how fucking backwards that is? 

Its perpetating abuse.

If someone is in an abusive relationship do you tell them to stay in the relationship and forgive them while they are being beat? 

A lot of these people going around talking about accept the dark and light…. And spiritual bypassing never been raped by some random ass entity and then being told to forgive them. Forgiveness is a process. And protecting ones self is the first step. Abuse stopping is the first step. 

And forgiveness is a choice. 

I’ve always been like this. Ever since school. School is forced… Information forced…. Most of its a lie to perpetuate ignorance. Most of its not useful and most what actually learn and find useful is on the job you are forces to engage in to survive. 

Let’s really rethink the spiritual concepts we spew out. All we are doing is excusing entitities, energies, demons, whatever to play a roll in our lives, and there shouldn’t be any. They made their choice. And they keep making their choice the more you allow them to “punish” or abuse us senselessly which only enables their bad behavior.

Its not a badge of honor….. It’s ignorance. 

🙏

Lightened Photo

If I didn’t see this shape drop down in front of my eyes or mark my skin then I would say hey this prolly just a camera glitch.

This is the first time I caught on camera what I was drawing.

No one else is seeing it…  And its clear as day and making me feel crazy. And I thought I was a rational person. 


Photo of what I usually see

Like this is the most obvious photo I have taken. I would zoom in or not have it on a white background or in bright lights so your eyes can adjust. Im trying to look at it now in my bathroom lights and all I see it a black photo. 

If I’m totally bugging let me know. 

The photos of what I drew are here. I have seeming them for 6+ months. I think one or more contribute to the schizophrenia. 



Astral Rape 🌌👾

I forgive my mom. She doesn’t know or understand. No one does. No one gets it it’s not their fault. 

My mom was watching a movie that happened to have a long loud sex scene in it and I held my breath anticipating the Archon Demon to do something to me. It waited until I started breathing again to then touch me again.

And I started to cry, cause I hate being touched. I have been raped and molested all day for two years. I dont even know know what a loving touch feels like anymore. 

Anytime I think about love, I’m molested. Anytime I’m happy, I’m molested or hurt. Anytime I think about my family lovingly I’m molested. Anytime I look at a new person I am having a conversation with, I’m molested…. TV show molested. Or just for fun Raped.

Then to realize the only “sexual” encounter I’m having is being raped an invisible demonic archon reptilian thing all day on some pedo incest rape bullshit. 

And its so sad. That’s all I know right now. That’s all that is on repeat in my head …. To take my life away.

I need love so bad….. I love myself and its not enough…. I love everyone and its not enough. I fight its not enough.

Im so tired of my vagina. I’m tired of thinking about it, having my attention drawn to it by these archon’s, I’m tired of it being burned or raped or molested.

So tired! I tried to ignore it.

And these dude out here….. Just make it worse…. When they sexualize everything. They don’t give a fuck about me…. Just fucking. And if I was elevated… Maybe cool. But now I need love. I don’t know how else to put it. 

I can only take so much of this before I break down.