So I was scrolling through Facebook and Bored Panda had the cutest clip about this Dad who Makes Transforming Dresses.
I’m into fashion believe it or not. I use to sew crazy performance outfits for my friends who were in the Vogue Ballroom scene. So this dress had what would be called an “effect” …. Just that little extra bit of wow or drama.
Either way I’m watching this clip in aww my mouth dropped from the creativity. And I knew any girl or femme would love to have something like that its like you turn into an instant princess.
BUT OF COURSE THE ENTITY COMES IN and starts saying I’m watching child porn. And I’m like HUH?
And so I just started crying…. Because I realized I may never think the way I use to ever again. Just…. normal. I have this curse…. This entity……. This inserted thought constantly talking about child abuse in a gross manner. It doesn’t matter what the topic is…. It could furniture….. Or tree. This entity will find a way to pedo that topic to torment my life. And I’m over it.
I’m sorry I just started crying…. And I write when I cry. I’m tired of being molested and burned and constantly having to think about this topic. I’ve really tried to ignore it…. But then I bust out crying and I can’t help it it upsets me and I know they love it….. its there juice.
Maybe I should have been heartless…. I wish I had a different fear….. A different thing that upsets me so much…. Idk…. Maybe Protecting the Rainforest or something…..
Just sucks looking at something innocently and then having it turned into something disgusting as soon as you smile.