Death Treats…..😩

So I was trying to sleep. And of course they went on as business as usual with buzzing, trembling my body, hard to describe the sensation but almost like my “spirit” is being stretched or yanked. Or maybe its their energy being yanked. Idk. 

Either way kept jolting me awake a few times. Lol this is why Schizo’s get irritated probably. 

But Archon homie tried to do this whole play like “I’m sorry, you want rose colored”,  I’m like huh? I guess basically rose colored glasses to look away from what they are doing to me and play. 

So now it made it seem like its “boss” came in and said “I know you are sorry!” Then the “boss” said in a deep tone “Ms. (My last name) your nwhole family is going to get shot!” Because of my previous posts honing in on Archons as the main cause of my schizophrenic experience. 

Now I am use to these tactics to scare me. I’ve seen and heard worse. But I’m REALLY getting tired of this shit. I was just trying to sleep.

Now that I’ve settled on it being “Archon’s”, they want to take another opportunity to scare me and make a whole elaborate play so it can feel like a powerful cosmic dot, when I don’t give a fuck. 

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Spiritual Abuse πŸ”ͺπŸ”«πŸ’£

There is no reason to be spiritually attacked there is no excuse. That’s like a rapist saying she asked for it because wore a short skirt. Fuck THAT!

Victims of spiritual/astral abuse will blame themselves. They will say, “I deserve this because I lied when I was 12 years old” or something just as ridiculous. We seek peace and that’s the easiest route than grabbing at air. But we seek NOW. Dwelling on the pasts on shortens our time in becoming the person we wish to be the best versions of ourselves. 

Our capitalist system says “you are not enough!” , so by this product and subscribe to this lifestyle. Spirituality /religion says you are not enough, you didn’t pray enough, you did something bad, some past life bullshit generational curse, that you didn’t meditate enough, that you didn’t eat organic enough. In relationships, we feel like we aren’t pretty enough, or doing enough or have enough money or enough love or trust. 

So it is NO WONDER these astral parasites …. Spiritual abusers go on to say YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. You’re ugly, fat, skinny, stupid, crazy, no body likes you, you have no friends, kill yourself, no money, you are not good at what you do, you don’t know what you are doing, you need our guidance, unlovable, unworthy, you’re an addict, you will never understand, you don’t have knowledge. 

You will never be enough, when you are! 

I am a complete being. I have my own “dark” and own “light”. I grow as needed. Forced “darkness” or this bullshit “dark nigbt of the soul”, is abused pushed by astral parasites. Saying it’s because you did this or that, that YOU weren’t enough is excusing this program and act of spiritual violence. Finding peace and “learning from” the abuse is the gift we give ourselves to cope and to heal. We weave stories of some past life karma, a curse, blame ourselves. “This happened to me because…………….” 

Outside of that we are excusing unseen and intangible abuse. By subscribing to this idea that pain is our greatest teacher, is superficial and more than likely you never been in a full blown psychic attack.
You are saying our current system, all system are fine as is and should operate and function with no change.

This whole you “change your reality” is bullshit. You know how hard I’ve fought?!? All this law of attraction, most people want car, money love. I want the change, justice, peace, safety for all people! 

NOTE: The demon suggested pain and my smoking cigs (cause you devils advocate). Now do I know smoking is bad? Yes. Do I wish to change that? YES. Do I think I should be raped everyday by some demon for going on two years? NO.
Whatever. But I’m the crazy one.

Fuck this demon! 

Crazy Talk: Jelly Monster πŸ‘»πŸ’”

So I can see the effects of the demon, I can feel them, hear them, but I can’t see the actual demon that’s conducting it. 

I believe that many healer are able to remove the effects but not the actual entity. Maybe some can. But none of the ones I went to. 

So, I see this jelly monster (looks like a clear slimmer) that moves around me. I state previously in my blog that, I don’t think this is the entity but the “energy” it sends kinda like and extension of sorts it copies. Its not easy to see but I see it. I think its the same “energy” that screams repeatedly, mimics other peoples voices and music, repeats what I say, the gives me tremors and that can copy cat emotions like anxienty or headache, intense tension, feeling ill, being high. Prolly other things too like images/vision. Almost like AI intelligence toy, but its not the main and I feel like its being controlled. 

Today I was wondering HOW did the entity pull off things like knowing when my ex (false/ twin flame) was going to call, or what song he was going to send me, when the cat took my chair and I wasn’t in the room. And a few other “prediction” or plain old’ nosiness. 

Either way. My assumption is that this jelly monster was being nosey with my ex or attached to my ex. Something maybe like that. And that’s how it copied his voice and knew info. Some people call it “attachment cords” this one looks like a clear jelly vibrating blob thing that moves around at medium speed in and out of vision some times sparkles if its close by like on my head. But then I’m like how the fuck did the jelly monster get to the edge of Brooklyn? Like it legit floated 20 miles?

πŸ’©πŸ‡πŸŠπŸš†πŸš„πŸš…β“‚πŸšˆπŸš•πŸš˜πŸšœπŸš βœˆβ›΅πŸš€πŸšβ‰

I hope my ex wasn’t harmed in any way. In the beginning I did so many “cord cutting meditations” because I just wanted whatever this was gone. I blamed my ex, i did. But I kept away from him so this demon wouldn’t make another game out of it. I’m pretty sure he is OK and doing fine. But if he went through a fraction what I went/ going through….. I am so sorry, even though none of this was my fault. I never sent ANYTHING to him in any way. Only trying to get through my own heart ache to move on.

Either way. That’s my theory of the jelly monster I have been seeing floating around the house or stuck in the bathroom. 

Crazy shit right? πŸ™

God……….  Why did I have to get the crazy one? 

I feel like I need a blunt and I don’t even like smoking. 🌴

Thieves in the Temple πŸ‘‘

If God wasn’t a loving and forgiving God do you think that these evil things would exist?

For whatever reason all creations exist as is ….. And have the choice and opportunity to evolve past its “nature”. 

What we currently think is our nature is conditioning. We could be living in caves…. But we have “evolved” to houses. But some how racism and sexism and sexual violence ect is just seems SO FAR past our reachability over the say million years.

It is the same as these Entities. I’ve said this before. If God wanted to wipe out these Entities with the snap of a cosmic finger God could. If they are from the firery pits of hell,. .  .. Then why are they here, or how do they have access to humans? Maybe these were lies we were told. Maybe humans were told this lie to keep them from committing “crimes” or “sin”. Sin is only relative to the human experience. So what laws do “Entities” have to abide by? Cause they seem pretty lawless to me. 

Clearly everything exists with in its nature. And to some extent I have accept that these Entities exist with in their own nature. Not something I personally want to observe. But I am currently forced to watch. I do NOT have to accept them as my own nature unless they choose to actually do so. And that is a major deception that human beings must evolve past. Understanding what is true human nature and what is not. 

I would assume that Entities have the same opportunity to evolve with the limits of “free will”. That is a choice they must make for themselves individually and as a whole.

I have many thieves in my temple. Telling me I’M the thief, when humans are innately self preserving. Whatever it is that they are here for, it is not theirs to have.

Maybe I’m too logical for this world. 

You Are Welcome πŸ™

I was practicing a Chi breathing technique on YouTube that a friend sent to me.

I noticed some blocks and add ons but whatever I always notice.

Either way, it talked about creating chi and then bringing it back into the body.

I rememered a moment when this all first started happening and my chest extending out past my shoulders felt like I was opened up. That’s when I first started to feel like I was dying.

I didn’t feel much in my center now, just this tender heart. I figured the entity took all my chi, that’s why all I can do right now is sleep, eat cookies and cry about the world.

The guy talking in the video said that we are “the most powerful free energy devices on the planet”.

So I immediately told the Entity, “you are welcome….” And I meant it. I wasn’t being sarcastic as usual. It was a gift.

I figured that I gave (well it took) my energy to this Entity. I just don’t know how to reve my chi back up yet……

…… Wonder if instead of scaring the shit out of me, disrespecting me, violating, if other entity beings whatever where to be upfront? Maybe we could live peacefully. 

Entity would be like, “Yo I really need this chi, I will make it quick.”

They won’t and… Maybe can’t tell me who or what they are. Maybe I’m too peace loving and just feel like if we just put the truth out there it would easier for all of us and work something out. 

Who knows, maybe I would be like “sure homie, you can have some of this chi love!” And i would just go wipe some more up later.

I can give with out receiving. But I don’t know I just need a bit of honesty.

Who knows maybe chi doesn’t even exists. Maybe I am pulling this out of my ass. Maybe they don’t need all this brain electric goodness or this golden chi.

All I know is, there has to be a better way.

πŸŒΏπŸŒΉπŸ‘€πŸ‘½πŸ™βœŒπŸŒΉπŸŒΏ

Crazy Talks: What I See πŸ‘€

Just jotting down some notes.

I don’t see this on anyone else but myself.

There are two very distinct things I see other than the visions. I see the these circle dots that can divide into multipuls. And I see this vibrating heat wave looking thing that moves in and out of me. Think like a clear slimmer from ghost busters. 

So I was commenting on a post to a lady that says she can remove implants and the slimmer thing shot out of my stomach and my stomach/ back area vibrated trembled and I could see it moving around outside of me. 

Noe occasionally I during the day will get headaches or I will feel the pressure on my head and I will hear almost like a distant train tremble vibration. I think this vibrating clear thing is the pressure I feel on my head, the anxiety, its like its the ….. Emotion and sensation maker. I don’t know if it is a separate entity or controlled. My guess it is controlled. 

Now the circle dot thing seems to be the visions/ dreams/ hallucinations/ Logo maker. But I’m not sure to what extent it morphs and uses light. If I pinch the corners of my eyes I see a circle of light in each corner. Not sure if this is bad or good. But I’m sure it plays its part. I have literally seen visions (waking dreams) fade away into almost a logo (a simple none color emoji vision), I have also seems dreams fade as well. 

So I see this dot thing that was never there before as the cause of the visions. And this energy slimmer thing as the cause of the sensations I feel. 
After it jumped out of my stomach it went for GUESS WHERE you guys??!?? My VAGINA! Of course! My vagina! I felt it go there after it shot out.

I’m really over this Scooby doo mystery. Seriously. 

$pirituality πŸ’΅πŸ’΄πŸ’ΆπŸ’·πŸ’ΈπŸ’°πŸ’±πŸ’²πŸ’³

So a kundalini guru guy told me today that NO ONE can remove this Demonic Entity for me. 

Which I now suspect thousands of dollars and 5+ “healers/shamans” later.

He said no one can remove it I have to remove it on my own. That’s part of the work. 

I just uhg. I’m angry. I wasted so much time, money, life, energy, health.

I dont know what to do. I just feel like I’ve been set back in life like 10 years while aging 20.

Just getting emotional. I can’t always hold it inside….. And I guess I really needed to accept that this entity has been lying and playing around and acting like its leaving for over a year.

I needed to accept that people did not remove this entity in any way.

Flashing Lights πŸ‘½πŸ‘»πŸ”¦

Aight so I’m over here minding my own biznesses, reading and pondering this schizophrenic life. 

I read two articles one I posted here about recording the voices on someones throat and concluding that the voices ARE in fact the schizo subjects own thoughts. (Which cool they can record, not cool jumping to the conclusion that its their thoughts).

AND another article that basically stated that schizo is caused by a defect in the brain and lack of fat in the brain as well.

So I’m over here just doing me and critically thinking about  the articles I read and how they may apply or not apply to the situation. 

One thing that came up for me is stroke victims. Many stroke victims temporarily loose the ability to speak, as well as think. So how does schizophrenia apply there?

Either way minding my bizness, and a HUGE flash of bluish white light flashed over my body, and I heard it too. Lol sounded like a quiet lazer gun. Lol. My body got hot, but not like a heat hot like an electrical hot. I don’t know if it was my nerves or the actual event. I mean I’m aware but at this point, not much shocks me. Well maybe trump. Idk. Anyways, I’m super confused as to what it was.

This was the first time it was so close to me. I have seen flashes before like that but they were further away. This was like max two feet above me.

I continued my nerdy schizo thinking. And also kinda secretly hoped that what ever it took this voice away. But alas …… It didn’t. The voice sounded quieter, a bit more far away. The voice kept saying, “shut up I’m getting made!”. I said, “what you gonna do shoot me with your laser gun again?”

Part of me wants to smoke weed to see if will either turn up or turn down. I will be honest with you, I “abused” the hell out of benadryl….. Just to get to deep sleep because I thought there is where I would find healing. Its all in the name of healing.

I don’t know if the entity is putting on a show or really leaving that’s why I want to smoke weed to make sure.

Either way that’s my update. 

The “Spiritual Bypass” πŸ˜·

I was thinking after someone thanked me for being raw in my journal. Can someone actually “spiritually bypass”?

I understand the concept, that some people are essentially spiritual fuckboys, a faΓ§ade of sorts to gain favorablity or even worse your cash flow. 

But the idea is kind of counter intuitive in the sense that, where ever someone is “spiritually” is exactly where they should be. I mean can you truly induce or avoid an awakening? I don’t think many had a choice.

I think the concept of spiritual bypass should be taken even more broadly. I read many articles on “awakening” , “ascension” and spirituality trying to deeply understand what was happening to me. 

I was met with these beautiful purple blue astral DMT trip images of someone in a state of bliss or enlightenment (we’ve all seen that blue guy, and its always a guy). With some articles listing the top 10 ways to know you are awakening. Usually its intense isolation and loss. 

It goes on to explain heighten “psychic abilities”, along with a message that this is a “gift”. 😩 bruh. 

Like can we put the fairtales aside?

Awakening, possession or severe mental illness, either way this shit sucks. 

Its like that lie we tell most women that “childbirth is the most rewarding thing ever“, not being real about the fact your insides are gonna fall out, tailbone crack and probably have to wear a maxi pad just to keep from peeing on yourself.

Like be real about it.

Uhg its the same fairytale with “twin flames”. Twin flame is literally like being sent to hell. And yet for the past what 6 years or so people have been trying to surrender something I don’t even know in order to get into “union”. That its called heart break…… And if you were unlucky enough to catch one of these demons…  Its called obsession.

Let’s get real. There is a meeting point of psychology, spirituality and science.

The fluff and glamour is getting people way thrown off. Blissed out, love and light, all powerful black sorcerer with skull rings. Like get a fucking grip.

Love is a decision, it is an conscious action, it is a struggle.

I don’t trust the state of “bliss” any more than I trust the anxiety, depression. Any or all can be mimicked by an “entity”, and if you are addicted to bliss, welp…. Have fun.

Don’t try to act like you’re above anyone because magically “trancended ego” and all the way up in the ether on the 12 dimensions looking down on all the poor people who have idea what the fuck you are talking about.

We are one, we are the world no separation, bla bla….. GUESS WHAT the world is hurting, bleeding profusely of its energy and resources. Its people outside of your bliss bubble are in pain, a pain so indescribable they choose to stay silent about until one day….. It catches up with them.

On that day….. I hope some, anyone will be honest about how this shit sucks on every level. And how vunerable and human we are…… And how they are not alone. And how we need them…. 

That’s all. 

I’m so fucking bored πŸ˜©

So I’m protesting in my body. I refuse to go out unless I have to and put myself in stressful situations that would normally be a breeze had this Entity not infiltrate my life.

I’m in silence, no TVs finally, no music, just the sound of a city street and a couple of fans. 

I can’t explain the level of boredom and frustration I feel to hear the SAME message from this Entity every fucking day, “Grr Arg, die of molestation, some racist shit, your ex, your ex, your ex, fat bitch, vagina zap zap!”. 

Starting my health journey would be a good idea, but the slightest painful vision has me in a bowl of cookie dough and I don’t know if I’m that strong yet.

I’ve played out all of my app video games, the entity is actually recycling dreams now. Lazy. My body wants me to move so badly, but a simple walk turns into a panic attack or me being angry from having constantly ground myself every moment as to not get sucked up into some obscure and pointless story delusion of why the person standing behind me in line smiled. Yes its that petty. 

I don’t want to talk to anyone really. My brain is tired I’m forced to talk (mentally), react or listen to this entity 24/7 no breaks. If there is a break extreme pain. Which is why I opt for sleep. Either way is detrimental to my health.

If this entity wasn’t terrorizing me I would go on a long walk by myself, no worries other than when to cross the street. Look at some clothes I can’t fit into, maybe sew my own dress finally.

Something, anything.

The prayers, humor, healers, shamans, reiki masters, light workers, magicians, witches, psychics, demonologist, medication all have yet to rid me of this…… So I’m at a loss of what to do. 

I don’t know what to do anymore.