Crazy Talk: What I See πŸ‘½πŸ‘€

So I finally drew what I see. These are not visions. They are like some times like the “logos” I described in a previous post. 

I posted this to a light worker group cause terrible drawing but this is what I see. The big ones are actually 3Dish like I can move but it won’t move is just kinda sits there in my bathroom. 

Most of the hallucinations are flat or super imposed. Or visions. 

Either way I got the normal “see a doc” thing. But mostly confirmation that they are negative Entities. As much as they want to convince me this is a “test” or have something to teach me.

I got the normal, salt, sage, other herbs, crystals, meditation, prayer, commanding them to leave, bright white light of protection, calling in angels and guides, eat healthy, be happy, grouding, dont talk to them. But I really really really did all of that. 

I don’t know if I or it or them are coming or going I just know I am tired.

Here is hoping I can push through. Just trying figure out if I shough do meds or not. I remember when I didn’t hear them, they were doing these crazy insane pass out almost headaches and sparkles and little tricks like that.

I will figure out what my next move will be. 

Advertisements

Spiritual Abuse πŸ”ͺπŸ”«πŸ’£

There is no reason to be spiritually attacked there is no excuse. That’s like a rapist saying she asked for it because wore a short skirt. Fuck THAT!

Victims of spiritual/astral abuse will blame themselves. They will say, “I deserve this because I lied when I was 12 years old” or something just as ridiculous. We seek peace and that’s the easiest route than grabbing at air. But we seek NOW. Dwelling on the pasts on shortens our time in becoming the person we wish to be the best versions of ourselves. 

Our capitalist system says “you are not enough!” , so by this product and subscribe to this lifestyle. Spirituality /religion says you are not enough, you didn’t pray enough, you did something bad, some past life bullshit generational curse, that you didn’t meditate enough, that you didn’t eat organic enough. In relationships, we feel like we aren’t pretty enough, or doing enough or have enough money or enough love or trust. 

So it is NO WONDER these astral parasites …. Spiritual abusers go on to say YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. You’re ugly, fat, skinny, stupid, crazy, no body likes you, you have no friends, kill yourself, no money, you are not good at what you do, you don’t know what you are doing, you need our guidance, unlovable, unworthy, you’re an addict, you will never understand, you don’t have knowledge. 

You will never be enough, when you are! 

I am a complete being. I have my own “dark” and own “light”. I grow as needed. Forced “darkness” or this bullshit “dark nigbt of the soul”, is abused pushed by astral parasites. Saying it’s because you did this or that, that YOU weren’t enough is excusing this program and act of spiritual violence. Finding peace and “learning from” the abuse is the gift we give ourselves to cope and to heal. We weave stories of some past life karma, a curse, blame ourselves. “This happened to me because…………….” 

Outside of that we are excusing unseen and intangible abuse. By subscribing to this idea that pain is our greatest teacher, is superficial and more than likely you never been in a full blown psychic attack.
You are saying our current system, all system are fine as is and should operate and function with no change.

This whole you “change your reality” is bullshit. You know how hard I’ve fought?!? All this law of attraction, most people want car, money love. I want the change, justice, peace, safety for all people! 

NOTE: The demon suggested pain and my smoking cigs (cause you devils advocate). Now do I know smoking is bad? Yes. Do I wish to change that? YES. Do I think I should be raped everyday by some demon for going on two years? NO.
Whatever. But I’m the crazy one.

Fuck this demon! 

Crazy Talk: Jelly Monster πŸ‘»πŸ’”

So I can see the effects of the demon, I can feel them, hear them, but I can’t see the actual demon that’s conducting it. 

I believe that many healer are able to remove the effects but not the actual entity. Maybe some can. But none of the ones I went to. 

So, I see this jelly monster (looks like a clear slimmer) that moves around me. I state previously in my blog that, I don’t think this is the entity but the “energy” it sends kinda like and extension of sorts it copies. Its not easy to see but I see it. I think its the same “energy” that screams repeatedly, mimics other peoples voices and music, repeats what I say, the gives me tremors and that can copy cat emotions like anxienty or headache, intense tension, feeling ill, being high. Prolly other things too like images/vision. Almost like AI intelligence toy, but its not the main and I feel like its being controlled. 

Today I was wondering HOW did the entity pull off things like knowing when my ex (false/ twin flame) was going to call, or what song he was going to send me, when the cat took my chair and I wasn’t in the room. And a few other “prediction” or plain old’ nosiness. 

Either way. My assumption is that this jelly monster was being nosey with my ex or attached to my ex. Something maybe like that. And that’s how it copied his voice and knew info. Some people call it “attachment cords” this one looks like a clear jelly vibrating blob thing that moves around at medium speed in and out of vision some times sparkles if its close by like on my head. But then I’m like how the fuck did the jelly monster get to the edge of Brooklyn? Like it legit floated 20 miles?

πŸ’©πŸ‡πŸŠπŸš†πŸš„πŸš…β“‚πŸšˆπŸš•πŸš˜πŸšœπŸš βœˆβ›΅πŸš€πŸšβ‰

I hope my ex wasn’t harmed in any way. In the beginning I did so many “cord cutting meditations” because I just wanted whatever this was gone. I blamed my ex, i did. But I kept away from him so this demon wouldn’t make another game out of it. I’m pretty sure he is OK and doing fine. But if he went through a fraction what I went/ going through….. I am so sorry, even though none of this was my fault. I never sent ANYTHING to him in any way. Only trying to get through my own heart ache to move on.

Either way. That’s my theory of the jelly monster I have been seeing floating around the house or stuck in the bathroom. 

Crazy shit right? πŸ™

God……….  Why did I have to get the crazy one? 

I feel like I need a blunt and I don’t even like smoking. 🌴

“Holding Space” for Satan. πŸ‘ΊπŸ˜ž

So I legit feel like I am holding space a demon, or Satan, or like something alien.

Like I’m just watching this demon freak out. If the shoe fits…… That aint my fault.

I mean this thing has tried to act like my grandpa, deities, god, my ex, my favorite author Zora Neale Hurston, list can go on. But the main consistent thing is that is malicious. So seems like a demon to me.

I feel like I am holding space for a demon to act out daddy issues (God) on me. Like why I gotta be tortured to no end?

This demon keeps calling ME a loser, I’m like dude you already lossed cause you act this way. I’m just forced to sit here against my own will and watch you bugg the fuck out for really no reason.

I look like I’m bugging out to everyone else cause I have to listen, feel and see some demon freaking out over which soap I use…. Calling it “pedophile soap”.

These demons need a xanax and chill the fuck out. There is no changing this demon. I’ve accepted that. There is no amount of love or lite that will change it. Why i have tried it turns it into rape. Even if it did that will probably be a lie to manipulate me.

So Im forced to watch this thing freak out until it leaves or the meds turn off that part of my brain it has access to.

Shit is so annoying. 😩

Got Weed? 🌴

Where the weed at?

So last night I smoked some weed to see what will happen. Just two or three puffs. Lol it doesn’t take much. I always wondered how my friends could smoke a whole L to the head but whatever.

So smoking almost immediately the voice went into scary mode unlike when I take an edible. Edibles tend to be more popped out. I didn’t “feel” as high as I normally do. When I smoke usually I feel opened up. Exposed to the world. I’ve even felt that way with this Entity completely sober. So its strange.

This time though when I say it went in IT WENT IN to try to scary me. This time felt more like mind control. It was a constant bombardment of EVERYTHING being related back to child abuse. It stated off with the Entity saying, “It….. Was ….. A-pparent………….. To me” trying to suggest that I was this demons mother and hurt it in a past life or some bullshit. And I just smoked my weed and gave it a big NAH.

Kept trying to convince me in every possible way, almost like it did when it tried to convince me it was God. It was like a very strong feeling. And I wasn’t budging. So I decided to watch Once Upon A Time….. And I mean this demon was relating EVERYTHING to child abuse. The most innocent of details…. To the whole storyline. Its almost like i had this Entity just streamed thoughts of child abuse in a mind control manner and just was like NOPE. It was twisting it make it seem like there was even an aundertone of child abuse. And I was just like NOPE NOPE NOPAh! Not falling for any of the bullshit.

Even my dream once i went to sleep, though there where no images, the entiry tried to give a “theme” of child abuse, it almost felt separate like it didn’t even go with the dream but interjected in this strange way, like a tick. It was woa intense. But I’m not falling for any of it.

Not this life, not past life, no other dimensions….. Its a NO!

Either way I might smoke some more just to see how stupid this Entity Demon gets. Not because I necessarily want to talk about child abuse ever again in my life.

This is like mental/ spiritual gentrification. 

Kiss my ass demon!

You Are Welcome πŸ™

I was practicing a Chi breathing technique on YouTube that a friend sent to me.

I noticed some blocks and add ons but whatever I always notice.

Either way, it talked about creating chi and then bringing it back into the body.

I rememered a moment when this all first started happening and my chest extending out past my shoulders felt like I was opened up. That’s when I first started to feel like I was dying.

I didn’t feel much in my center now, just this tender heart. I figured the entity took all my chi, that’s why all I can do right now is sleep, eat cookies and cry about the world.

The guy talking in the video said that we are “the most powerful free energy devices on the planet”.

So I immediately told the Entity, “you are welcome….” And I meant it. I wasn’t being sarcastic as usual. It was a gift.

I figured that I gave (well it took) my energy to this Entity. I just don’t know how to reve my chi back up yet……

…… Wonder if instead of scaring the shit out of me, disrespecting me, violating, if other entity beings whatever where to be upfront? Maybe we could live peacefully. 

Entity would be like, “Yo I really need this chi, I will make it quick.”

They won’t and… Maybe can’t tell me who or what they are. Maybe I’m too peace loving and just feel like if we just put the truth out there it would easier for all of us and work something out. 

Who knows, maybe I would be like “sure homie, you can have some of this chi love!” And i would just go wipe some more up later.

I can give with out receiving. But I don’t know I just need a bit of honesty.

Who knows maybe chi doesn’t even exists. Maybe I am pulling this out of my ass. Maybe they don’t need all this brain electric goodness or this golden chi.

All I know is, there has to be a better way.

πŸŒΏπŸŒΉπŸ‘€πŸ‘½πŸ™βœŒπŸŒΉπŸŒΏ

Crazy Talks: What I See πŸ‘€

Just jotting down some notes.

I don’t see this on anyone else but myself.

There are two very distinct things I see other than the visions. I see the these circle dots that can divide into multipuls. And I see this vibrating heat wave looking thing that moves in and out of me. Think like a clear slimmer from ghost busters. 

So I was commenting on a post to a lady that says she can remove implants and the slimmer thing shot out of my stomach and my stomach/ back area vibrated trembled and I could see it moving around outside of me. 

Noe occasionally I during the day will get headaches or I will feel the pressure on my head and I will hear almost like a distant train tremble vibration. I think this vibrating clear thing is the pressure I feel on my head, the anxiety, its like its the ….. Emotion and sensation maker. I don’t know if it is a separate entity or controlled. My guess it is controlled. 

Now the circle dot thing seems to be the visions/ dreams/ hallucinations/ Logo maker. But I’m not sure to what extent it morphs and uses light. If I pinch the corners of my eyes I see a circle of light in each corner. Not sure if this is bad or good. But I’m sure it plays its part. I have literally seen visions (waking dreams) fade away into almost a logo (a simple none color emoji vision), I have also seems dreams fade as well. 

So I see this dot thing that was never there before as the cause of the visions. And this energy slimmer thing as the cause of the sensations I feel. 
After it jumped out of my stomach it went for GUESS WHERE you guys??!?? My VAGINA! Of course! My vagina! I felt it go there after it shot out.

I’m really over this Scooby doo mystery. Seriously. 

Wet Dream πŸ˜”

So ever since I have been candid and frank about the spiritual psychic rape I endure. The entity has moved on into my dreams. 

Few times the rape happened while I was waking up, or with sleep paralysis. 

But I guess…. How do I say this. The entity is now hiding behind dreams of me masterbating instead of the regular rape.

I’m at a lose for words. So I said please stop raping me, and i got dreams of me masterbating psychoticly. But its not me, its not my dream. This now happens more frequent than even the rape dreams.

Its still rape, and I’m not stupid.

Why would my logical mind, or even subconscious, ruin a relationship, force me into singlehood (after interjecting itself in my sex life and turning me off), turning me off to the point i dont want to masterbate let alone interact with humans, call me fat and ugly, to then psychically rape me and when plead for the rape to stop, hide behind ME in my dreams and force me to masterbate (a few times I thought they were real and thought someone might have saw me in my sleep).

No need to go into detail.

Hmm? Why would my mind do that dumb shit? When I can just go get laid.

I’m laying here with a bible between my legs hoping and praying maybe it will stop for one moment of one fucking day. 

I hate everyone, and everything, and I have never wanted something obliterated more in my life than this stupid disgusting nameless speck of a cosmic joke Entity.

I hope it dies. Forever. And all of its kind. Die.

This is my fucking life. 

What Do You Think?

So I have this undeveloped thought. 

I at one point said racism is a mental illness. Not to erase how real it is, nor do I by any means look to make blanket statement about the mental health community. 

What drives someone to kill, murder, rape, torture? All that bad stuff. I guess I choose murder, rape and torture because its our bodies. 

Someone made a preconceived notion about our bodies. What they are and who they belong to. Apparently not to ourselves. 

For someone to justify rape, there are prerequisites to that action. There are beliefs leading up to that and in society they are reinforced in both covert and overt ways. Justifying rape is a part of mental illness, that is produced by a (false), belief. However wild it is. 

This is the same for racism.

Essentially its the mental illness that justifies the belief to drive “us” in justifying “ourselves” to gain what we want. Sex, gratification, power, control, stuff.

Still underdeveloped and I have had some people argue against this, because in essence, labeling it mental illness justifies and humanizes the monsters that have raped, kidnapped, murdered, tortured innocent people. So I get it.

But in the same essence I  interested in solving our problems and not perpetuating it so we can keep looking at all the multifacetes in which we are fucked.

Still not developed. Sitting on it. 

Revisiting Kundalini 🐍

http://www.kundaliniawakeningsystems1.com/the-safeties.html#.WdsPzRkpDqC

I decided to revisit kundalini yesterday and today after someone posted in the group about seeing what I would call “logos” or almost like emojis.

Logos/or emojis are very very simple visions. There is no color, its not very third eye based. They tend to be very simple you just see them like and alien face πŸ‘½ or a ❀ or maybe a simple X I have seen Firebirds and other very simple symbols. 

I think a day or two ago both my friend and I received Alien logos at the same time. (I don’t think this a good thing Lol) 

Visions are a bit more “complicated” as they seem more like uncontrollable imagination or memory. I say its the Entity but what ever. 

Imagination, is you “controlling” what you see. Memory is recalling a past event through all senses. And dreams seem to be a combination of all the above.

I guess after realizing that all these $$$ later I haven’t removed this entity, and crying about my weight gain I’m trying to find my discipline somewhere since I’m not in the best environment for optimal health.

So I read through what is card “safeties” when going through “kundalini”. Kundalini recognizes entity attachments as well. So that’s good. I think every path or belief recognizes something beyond us…….

We just don’t know what it is for sure.

Right now I am trying to wade through a lot of “sexual desire”. I guess its because I wrote about wanting to be in a relationship, intimate and cuddled up. SO as this entity always does …… It twists everything into a gross negative. I want a loving relationship with a caring partner ….. What I get the female equivalent of blue balls/wet dream bordering spiritual RAPE. 😠

But I’m keeping my cool. Keeping my cool….. πŸ˜‡