I am here kinda waiting for a chance to come up.
Every move or effort I made either dissolved in front of my face or became an obstacle.
I am now considering a “schizophrenic” I am stamped with danger. There are days I am full of worry that these DEMONS will over take me or someone I love. I have seen them do this to friends and it upsets me. They haven’t done this too much with me. But I work really hard and it’s a lot of will sorting through the subconscious making sure what’s my thoughts and their suggestions. Even down to making someone feel bad.
Thinking in it self becomes exhausting. Let alone the process of connecting the heart mind and body in a weight loss journey. I so want to get back to my weight loss journey. I’m not concerned about any man or twin flame or ex or all of that. I want to be happy and healthy to my best ability and then I can move towards looking for a job or independence.
I can not work or do much in the current state of being. All I do is eat sleep take meds and try not to loose my mind completely. THAT is not the existence and busted my ass to get out of homelessness to live out in my prime.
So how to make a come up happen when under spiritual oppression?
I did the prayers. Also deliverance prayers scare me ever though they are educational. I don’t know why. They just do.
I pray, take the meds, I keep making my plans to start getting on the ball but something happens, volunteer remotely.
I haven’t left the house in a month again. But I have been a bit more active in the house with chores. So it’s a give and take. The DEMONS calling me ugly all the time is really starting to get to me.
Feeling ugly because of these demons, feeling heavy and energetically weighted down by demons, being choked by demons when I go outside (hoodwinked), and them turning everything into so saying sick things about children outside DOES NOT make me want to go outside!
So now I just stay home and it’s easier to have anxiety attacks from the comforts of my bed.
Either way when’s the come up?
The DEMONS say I’m suppose to work here until I’m 37 this stated at 33 I’m 35. I don’t have time to waste! And I know they are probably lying to me. They would SCREAM,”LAST YEAR” insinuating that this would all stop. But it didn’t. So of course. What’s to say that’s not a lie.