So my sister had an appointment my mom asked me to go with her to. I told my mom a few days ago I would go no problem.
Me minding my own business laying on my bed looking at Facebook.
My sister: How are you feeling?
Me: Terrible as always. (Which is something I say all the time cause I’m not gonna lie and say everything is fine when its not. When things are actually fine I have no problem updating.)
Sister: Well you don’t have to go, if you know that’s too much for you ect.
Me: You are RUDE!
I felt like my sister is NOW using my schizo to try to gain her independence. Which is RUDE! My mom did the same thing thanksgiving. Asked me for DAYS about going to get a TV for her, and the hour before going she says,
My Mom: Oh you don’t have to go I know crowds are too much for you.
Me: oh now I’m too crazy to go? (Sarcastically)
Mom: I didn’t say that.
Me: I guess you gonna take your husband. Y’all choose each other.
Dad: “I’m not gonna let my fucking daughter humiliate me into telling what to do. And your mother never called you crazy.
Me: Perfect example of why people shouldn’t drink (3 pints of Bloody Mary).
So, if my mom wanted my dad to go then don’t step on my back and use my mental illness to get what you want. Same thing with my sister, if my sister wanted to go by herself then fine, dont try to pin this on me and use my mental illness as an excuse. If I didn’t WANT to go to would say NO. It’s pretty simple. My sister doesn’t even notice she has done this before with her other appointments, because she wanted to test herself and go by herself. Just like she started work not being fully healed.
I told my sister she is a pawn. Cause its like I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t crying, I was totally chillin and you go and fuck up my day because you didn’t want to upset me by me going with you to your appointment. But now I’m upset.
No one cares when I asked to turn the TVs down….. Or not to stress me out. Or a day off.
I’m not taking anyone’s shit. They can’t 1. Make decisions for me. Otherwise don’t ask me to do shit. If I tell you I’m gonna do it, then I made a decision. Otherwise dont ask me and make the decision for me, and pick and choose what you want me to do.
Last night I went to the store, cooked baked chicken, purple potatoes, and asparagus with lemon butter sauce for my family. Which is MAJOR! One cause they actually ate my cooking and two cause I pushed myself.
So now I can’t go outside all of a sudden? I know myself way too well.
I’m not taking anyone shit anymore. Family, friends, the guys out here…. This low life piece of ahit alien demon.
I don’t care what plane of existence you are in.
I was totally chillin and gotta fuck up my vibe.
In the golden light healing meditations we cleaned our cords with family…. I instantly saw a difference in their response. Sister sent me a sweet message on FB and my mom actually let me cook. So it ONLY makes sense that these demons out here want to make them dirty with anger.
I will have to clear my cords again. I love my family very much…… But they don’t get their implications.
Everyone telling me not to go out NOW….. But I needed that back then and a begged my sister to get a home aid…. But now … It’s just like registering 6+ months later….
Which I’ve already died like 800+ times….. And maybe twice actually. So now it doesnt matter…. I’m dead…. I eat dead meat cause I have no choice cause of my family and to not be rude. I am raped and abused this whole time taking care of my sister. I have astral parasitic bugs crawling through my aura and 3rd eye. I was forced to watch child porn through visions from some demonic entity for two years and died every single time. So fuck it….. I’m dead. I died more times than I think a human should.
Fuck it.
So no more bullshit.