My Alter Ego Logo

So this weekend I found some glow in the dark sculpty iii clay in my art bin and made my logo alien with some extra jewelry pieces and gold wire.

She’s low key an alien, androgynous I guess my original drawings gender and orientation were not exclusive but the message she brings is. Which is love. Friendship. Hard work….. smart work.

15 years.

The rings in the head actually represents the connection by other beings to me. I don’t know why they are connect to me but they are with the little flowers 🌸 🌺 energy suckers.

Anyway if the connection is secure they can step further away.

I just want what’s left of this sad life back.

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Into words …. 📝 Sunken Place

I’m rarely the type that doesn’t know how I feel or why or have something to say about it.

My friend wants me to be a twin flame and says I am and I don’t think I am a twin flame or a light worker or a 144k (from the Bible) or any of that. I don’t feel awakened or enlightened. I’m just a partially possessed woman who is pissed off she experienced this.

So thinking about being “post” all these spiritual labels that seem to take the focus off of God I started to cry I couldn’t but I’m trying to find the words of how I felt. Embarrassed and sad, longing knowing none of the super powers will “awaken” my “twin flame” will never come back all the stories that got WAY the fuck out of control and the Entities took advantage of my naivety I just feel embarrassed and sad.

So while some of this was harmless at first it’s not helping now. The only thing that brings me some hope and joy is that the heavens (astral/ethers) will be destroyed and created a new as it says in revelations. It has to be true…. this has gone on for too long. And as much as I just wanted to enjoy life through Gods love, if God is not pleased with me I have no choice. I have begged for forgiveness, all I can do is hope it gets better for others.

It was such a strange cry, I’m sure these demons are drinking my tears as a mid night snack. I tried not to cry today….. but it happened. I know my mistakes….. this is the first time I haven’t been able to move forward to correct them.

So I’m just stuck…… in this sunken place with these Entities. And I just don’t know what to do in the time I wait. I feel like crap mostly so my attention is on that.

I don’t know if God is an ACTUAL entity like these fools. Ya know? Like I don’t know. I know humans give God such human attributes. And I can’t say I KNOW. But do I have to to give thanks?

So no BOOM super powers for enduring this pain….. that is an illusion, no twin flame return cause it’s bs ….. no enlightenment although I have a bunch of info I could have done with out. All is a distraction from God and my happiness. But I don’t know how to get back.

BIG SIGH 😔

https://youtu.be/P94ZXqIATy4

Does a Curse make you go to hell? 🔥☃️🔥

If someone or something cursed you or whatever do you automatically go to hell? Like even if you are a decent person?

Like what does it mean to be cursed?

All I see and hear and feel is damn near close to hell. And I have no idea why I would be cursed but there are bad people and beings that do unspeakable things.

But what does that mean ? Are we only cursed in this life or are we then dragged to hell by default because of the things we see and hear?

Idk what this all is. I am not afraid. But I’m kindaaaaaaa over it? I honestly don’t even have the attention span for this schizophrenic demonic reptilian incubus curse.

What I SEE vs What I HEAR 👀👂🏼

I wonder ……

I see many entities, trolls, demons, aliens, reptilian, ducks (which is a new one), ghosts …. baby ghosts, skulls, banshees, mermaids, lions, geckos, praying mantis and the occasional huge centipede, dragons, cars, machines, LOTS of “flowers”/ attachment connectors. And this gizmo looking dude that rides around on a Lotus flower. All leaning the cartoon side.

Almost all of them have a straw that comes half way our their mouth. The flowers are ways to connect but I don’t know why.

I have seen a vision of a woman but when I concentrate on looking into the darkness of my eyes that “woman” turned into a Mantis that quickly removed itself from my view once I saw it.

Are all these “entities” what make up my imagination, visions (forced imagination), dreams. I can usually tell the difference between my own imagination or memory vs forced visions. Theirs are WAY brighter than mine. Like abnormally bright, and the theme is usually child abuse, sex, yup that’s pretty much the main ones.

So what I SEE and what I FEEL correlates. I have seen 30 Geckos shoot sparkles into my stomach no words (yes I know that’s fucking crazy) and then I had insatiable hunger, I see the clear fast jelly one that would make my body shake.

What I SEE and what I HEAR does not correlate. I’m threatened all day by this voice. There is 2 maybe 3 (2 males and an occasional female voice) I hear all kinds of sick shit about child abuse. The loud voice will talk about incest or rape with my father. Maybe forced visions of rape as I might wake up from hearing my dad leave for work.

Visions are like dreams with your eyes open. But they are not quiet the same as hallucinations. Hallucination (i.e. Blobs of energy, or a troll in my bathroom) I can walk around. Even if they are a bit 2D I can still walk around them meaning it’s in space not just my head.

So maybe visions and what I hear correlate. But what I SEE and hear does not. It’s like all of the 2D characters would have to be activated as players in a vision. But usually the mind will see human or maybe whatever this MAIN one wants me to see.

Only in my dreams has what I heard, felt and saw correlate and it was one of me being raped. And my butt actually hurt after.

What I HEAR and what I FEEL correlates. What I hear which is a main male voice that is loud (even when it whispers), that often mimics/parrots my ex (false twin flames) voice or “character”. This one seems like a ring leader and I guess is the one that’s in my head the most.

Often the main demon will try to make me feel like a pedophile if I see a child on TV. This will be a split second situation. Child on tv, I’m like “aw cute”, Entity will vibrate my vagina/root chakra.

If the Entity/demon/Voice feels extra mean today, it will say something disgusting or insinuating through a “forced vision” something disgusting. This happens all day. As much as I’ve locked myself in the house to avoid it. Children are in every commercial, my dad lives with me an Depending on the day I may or may not cry in bed because it’s disgusting and overwhelming.

So…………………. that’s MY life currently.

Any thought is distorted to whatever meaning the voice wants to give it.

So if I hear my father getting ready for work it’s automatically turned to disgusting vision of him. This has altered my relationship with my dad. Although I fake it and smile I don’t communicate with him as much as I use to for fear of seeing yet another gross vision or hearing another gross thought.

This then keeps me in a constant dialogue of defending the meaning of my thoughts. But at that point the damage is done. There is only so much “positive thinking” I can do to combat this and at this point I have to ignore it and know who I am as to not engage the VOICE anymore.

I’m unsure as the discrepancy between what I hear and see and feel. But my guess is that there is a main voice and the other entities I see are “workers” working on what I see and feel.

So ….. that’s all I have for today.

Snapshot: What I hear. 😞

So I am currently upset with my sister because like all I do is do shit for her and like i was kind of forced into this role and the on top of it hearing the schiz shit and no respects that I don’t want to hear TVs and my sister is always telling me to shut up unless she wants me to do something for her.

Anyway totally separate complicated human emotion shit sister and then the voice comes in and says: “You are such a ……… B. A. B. Y. !!!! You want to be pedofiled like one!?!”

So fuck my life….. Threats don’t even matter anymore because they are still going to torture me anyway.

This is an all day everyday thing. And I’m kinda starting to really be over this life.

😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥

What I see: Bitsa 😱

I saw the word “Bitsa” energetically in a photo of me. I never heard of this word before. Occasionally I can see words in photo as well as Entities.

I guess I didn’t decide to make a post about this until I saw the words in another woman’s photo in a group I am in.

I found two meanings for the word “Bitsa”.

1. A person of no fixed nationality. One who has many backgrounds and no attachment’s or desire to be associated with any past family history.

2. “Back in the Saddle Again” – meaning back to work or to whatever you are supposed to be doing. It indicates a state of readiness to get down to work after a break.

3. Bitsa in Sesotho (Sotho South African Dialect) means Call in English

This is also from urban dictionary so there is no clear background as to the origins on the slang term. I want to say I maybe heard it in a movie where like a Italian person said “Bitsa,bitsa!” To go back to work but I can’t say for sure could be an influence by the Entity.

But also as someone who is extremely mixed it is also applicable as well.

But seeing the same words in another woman’s photo I don’t know what it means.

So what is this indicating why is it in our photos?

Earth Abduction 🌎

So!!!

Abductions don’t happen off of earth any more. They happen on earth.

Another “dimension” or a matrix is placed over the persons electo-magnetic field. So you then have a false reality or a false spiritual awakening.

These are not spiritual awakenings.

These are abductions and attempts at pseudo possessions aka mind control or worse case scenario a false flag.

An “abductees” electro magnetic field, surface of body and organs are penetrated with what most know as Archons. Archons are round semi flat disc that can move around. They are bio technology. These Archons can project images, become portals, and build settings of sorts like a false chakra system.

They are toys and bio technology weaponry. Very few limits to what this can do. Now I have seen Reptilians projected at my field but I have not seen them actually. I have actually seen a little alien head in my house and I smacked him out my sick sisters room with a bible. Wasn’t too happy about that.

So I’m not sure if the tiny little greys are actually working for reptilians or it’s bullshit torture brogan they hide behind. Because there seems to be so many layers to the lie. Do reptilians even exist on this planet or are they being projected as an overlay system?

Do the greys just ensure that the Archon Bio Technology is working properly like maintenance dudes? Cause they seem to be walking among us, but the reptilians seem to be attacking from another dimension which is fucked up.

Emery from outside is involved as well so there is energy/”entity” entering my home from outside and attacking from outside like they found a loophole by not entering but letting there tenticals get in here.

I’m trying to understand this all from inside the illusion and confusion. So I am open to being wrong. But this is what I am seeing. I just want to be better. And I just cussed out ol’ grey alien dude out for trying to call me fucking lazy. Which sparked this post so. Whatever.

Healing Arts 🌿

Ok so healing arts is a really flaky topic for me. For instance Akashic records. And I am being frank here I went to an “Akashic Record Reader” because the entity kept saying “your a child molester” and then then saying your not then saying I’m paying for my father and then all this crazy shit. Anyways since I was told when I was young that HE abused me and then later told he didn’t . There was just too much confusion. So I decided to go to the reader to find answers and she said yes both your parents did and then you did in a past life. First I wanted to kill him because I got overly emotional and then I knew this bitch was crazy.

That kind of shit is SUPER dangerous. So I think about past lives a lot different now. One they are not my life. And two they shouldn’t effect this one. Makes sense right? But they are apart of the past and a lesson to understand.

Now with crystals I bought every crystal to keep reptilians away except organite for electronics (archons) but I honestly felt noting from them. Really they are pretty and empowering. Unless you know energy work or the shop owner knows energy work then it’s just a stone like a plant is a plant. Well at least in terms of dealing with an attack to this magnitude.

Singing helps clapping praising noise. Reptilians seem to to be sensitive to light and sound. Singing stretches the jaws builds confidences vibrates. It can be difficult under attack but joyous none the less. Binaural beats did jack for me but sing bowls were nice.

I actually remember my grandma was in well lit apartment and I saw the 3 big thick black lines going towards here and she started singing and clapping and they went away little did I know that was the reptilian trying to mess with her.

She had “Demensia” but kept saying she didn’t feel like herself.

It takes a lot to be calm knowing that my family has been harmed on this level and in this way.

Also I don’t believe in chakras from what I have seen with my eyes. I believe they are implants but if kept could still need adjusting and healing. I actually believe the modern chakra system we know today is an reptilian archon portal system. Archons are bio technology that can meld with a human.

Light language feels good. Cause you are being you.

Meditation is rough but it’s the foundation of not getting wrapped up in reptilian thought patterning. It doesn’t mean you think nothing.

Positive thinking can be meditative (especially canceling out there paranoid negative implanted thoughts), dancing can be, writing can be, But observing was the most beneficial.

Planets and astrology are simply a way of talking about psychology. It does not have to rule your life but may effect timelines but I’m not sure cause I’m actually not that advance.

Reiki I think is good to know for self but others I’m not too sure about.

Either way each thing has its place most of its over hyped and nothing fully cured the attack. Just the archon systems. The woman I am woman I am working with has provided relief. Again there is guilt around asking for so much help. But this a serious attack not just an implant. This is many many many many so many it’s difficult to do much.

I’ve always been interested in healing at my job I saw that we had many herbs left over so I wanted to dry them for cute tea and start learning about how to harvest honey. And I was hoping to soon save enough money to get a distillation set to extract plant oils and essences. That along with nutrition was the dream. It’s fun to me I’m a nerd. But now my life is observing aliens molesting me all day and trying not to loose my shit.

But one think they don’t mention is faith and spirituality. Spirituality is not these practices or going to church. Faith in God and Good has got me through days that didn’t have answers. Faith in healing, faith in change. Faith that I might not know everything but I’m trying my best.

So ……. 🙏🏼

Stranger Things: Lizard Tongue


So believe it or not I had no idea what a lizards tongue look like until a few moments ago. 

I guess I always thought they looked like snake tongues. 

So I’m kinda freaked out not super freaked out but how could my mind draw from information it doesn’t know and create an image?

All the reptilian drawings I did are from what I saw not what I know. Which where these gecko looking things with the sucky tongue. That’s why I always have a difficult time accepting this as my just my brain. 

I just never had an interest in reptiles. 

So……… Now what? 

Someone told me to put peppermint oil and it will repell the reptilkuans but its not really working that well. Everything seems to treat a symptom but not the situation as a whole.

Being ignorant can work to a benefit. I guess sometimes.

Idk what’s happening anymore. 

Soul Star Chakra 🌟: Archon Halo ☁ 👼 ☁

So…………. The Archon’s portal energy balls I see on peoples heads and including my own look like halos you see in paintings. Straight up, no bullshit….. They are not glowing but they can invert from dark in the middle to light/clear on the outside or vice versa considering the lighting situation inside.

Last year my “twin flame” therapist told me about the “soul star chakra” which is also known as the “halo chakra”.

Simple stated in the link above “Your 8th Chakra known as the Soul Star Chakra is located about 12 inches to 3 feet from the top of your head (just above your Crown Chakra). Your Soul Star Chakra contains infinite energy, spirituality, Divine Wisdom and compassion. Also known as the Halo Chakra it’s what you see depicted in the historic paintings of Jesus Christ, the Saints and other Divine Masters. This chakra is the essential bridge between your Higher Self/Soul Self in the higher dimensions of reality and your incarnated human self (your personality and physical expression of your soul in third dimensional reality).

As your Soul Star Chakra becomes activated and expands you’ll begin to feel a strong need to align yourself with your Soul’s Mission to finally BE what you know on deeper levels you’re here to BE.”

Only I magically got the opposite! Why I gotta get the Satan halo? Is it suppose to be painful? This painful? 

Many people are saying that yes the body has natural chakras … And 3rd eye and all this good stuff but for some reason these natural systems are being manipulated and information is being falsafied so they can take advantage of us. 

There is an overlay. And its so painful. Like why doesn’t anyone tell you hey as some point you gonna get a half and shit it painful cause inter dimensional entities will prolly suck up you brain juices. I need a manual for this shit.