Flashing Lights: The Light (pt 2) πŸ’‘

Matthew 6:22

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. 23Β But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”

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This passage popped up on my Facebook by my moms friend today (I love GENTLE synchronicities), that is how I learn grow. Gentle, slow but I like to go deeeeeeeeep. I want to know why we use the words we use I don’t want to be misinformed as there are enough misunderstandings and enough people trying to manipulate it (***cough**jeff sessions**cough***).

So yea I have light somewhere connect to me COVERED in darkness, dimmed by …… evil? Demons? Aliens? Whatever it is ….. it is painful in every way possible. Heavy.

I’ve seen white light but I’ve seen the blackest black light. Blacker than my eyes closed. If that makes any sense.

So I guess I am unhealthy, I just don’t know why. I assumed it’s a curse. Cause it came out of no where 2-3 years ago. You don’t just wake up from one year to the next and start thinking these things out of no where.

Either way I’m, I wish I knew but every answer doesn’t suffice. It doesn’t answer the years of suffering, not just for me but others suffering spiritually as well. So I always wonder.

The light, yes we have light. I haven’t seen my own but I have seen some and had confirmation. I guess I will just try to make sense of all of this on my own.

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Flashing Lights 🌟

You know how people always say “look with in……” , “look inside yourself”.

HOW? Hmmmm?

How would one jump outside themselves and look at themselves unless it was imagination?

πŸ€”

So only concrete way I was able to know I’m a freakin light bulb is that at certain times the Entities would either 1. Attack if I look directly at them 2. Put on sunglasses 😎 (yes apparently they have Oakley’s in the astral realm) 3. Turn around.

When I looked at one (looked like a evil teddy bear) it ran away and smeared this goo around me I assumed that it was in my aura.

So the only way I could figure I am light or have light or LIGHT is involved in some way is how the Entities reacted a handful of times.

This has also happened when I would genuinely cry, which is a lot. Does crying clear the goo or film that they put around me?

Today I was sleeping and I woke up and I saw a Casper looking ghost πŸ‘» Entity (I think it’s a costume just like the sunglasses) and when I open my eyes the ghost immediately put on sunglasses. And a few other Entities got angry and was trying to scare me but my nerve are SHOT + no fear= no πŸ’©πŸ’© to give. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

Someone told me not to trust any Entities that don’t show their eyes. Especially if “my light” has to be dimmed to accommodate.

SO bla bla bla we are light made of light something to that extent, now what? I’m not sure why so many hang around me if they are afraid of light or what they keep covering me with or why they then cover my body in 🌺 flowers, that I keep trying to have removed but they just put everything back up ……….. but I’m OVER IT!

And again no one will help me figure this out. Occultist will say “do the research, do the work!” So steer from being asked any direct questions and “LightWorkers” will say “look with in ……” and I’m over here surrounded by like at least 100+ major entity, 5 giants outside and wondering WTF is going on cause I don’t have time!! Something other than white light imagination and salt baths!

I need to learn how to protect myself or deal with this in a concrete way because I’m literally in a war zone right now. NYC is covered in them, and apparently I can’t walk down the street with out being attacked.

My assumption is the only reason I can see these networks or matrix MADE UP of Entities is because I’m connected to it by an Entity attached to me, so I just need to figure out how not to be anymore.

I’m just tired of this life right now. I’m bored, alone, bored, brooooooke!, and in poor health. So dude!😭

TV on the Radio: Attached Matrix’s πŸ“Ί

Turn on the TV..” the demon would say.

It took me some time to to figure out what it meant. But for the most part I knew it had to deal with visions/imagination/dreams.

It wasn’t until my sister mentioned feeling sick (again like before her stroke) that I closely observed her and saw a colorful matrix of light around her head. Like um from afar it looks like a static on a color TV. And I was like WTF. The sad and FUCKING FUCKED UP PART TO THE MOST FUCKED UP PART is I can’t tell her anything to fear of setting her into fear base mind set, AND I can’t save her or help her or remove these pieced of πŸ’© demons. So that’s a fucked up position of knowing. All I can do is tell her to keep an open line of communication with me and make sure to let me know how she feels. That’s all I can responsibly do with out dragging someone down into my crazy that doesn’t need to be.

So after I observed the matrix on me. On day I actually had two different matrixes on me at the same time they were really trying to make me go nuts. I could see another vision behind the vision in front of me and I was like OH BOY! Took a deep breath and tried to brace myself for some fuckery in zen mode cause it was actually kinda scary.

The matrix “TV” is kind of scary because it’s like you sight almost burns out. It’s like having a black hole or a blind spot of color speck or light right there out of nowhere but that’s what you see …. really it’s it’s pretty much as big as your face.

This makes the Entities who normally look flat drawing or 2D more 3D. So it’s totally possible they are trying experiment to create matrixes to walk the earth or overlay humans. Idk I’m just thinking out loud like what’s the point? Of making a false matrix around a human to then ….. show up and tell them to die ? lol I’m so confused.

Just getting some thoughts out.

Tbc

Of The Sun 🌻

This a drawing of the sunflowers my room was surrounded in. When I was working with a certain healer. There were also about 20 of them laying across my chest as I lay down as well.

My only issue is that many of the healers and shamans didn’t understand is that 1. I have a trickster demons with me that is oppressive 2. I can hear feel sense see taste smell touch things going on in the etheric but don’t know how to make sense of it or don’t know if it a another trick. So if they they don’t see their own work, or aren’t into sharing that information then that just makes me feel that more paranoid upset and crazy.

This has happened twice so far.

Not that I’m trying to play with demons but if I’m seeing them I wish I I could be put to good use. Or learn more about how to help other but I know this is lonely work. But I know a few that have been lucky enough to have apprenticeships.

I’m sure just a couple of drawings aren’t going to help get rid of them or understand them better to help others.

The implant I’m realizing is the most problematic. Whether or not that’s what’s allowing me to see them and hear them I’m not sure…. but the implant(s) needs to go.

I’m not sure what implants look like. But when I do I will make sure to share.

Judgement Day (Again) πŸ™„

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Remember in 2012 every one thought the rapture was going to happen? And these pastors were taking advantage of people who were giving aware their money to stay in Gods favor?

So I actually like the woman above’s videos she’s pretty raw, BUT, as much I want to jump on the coocoo train to raptureville I guess i would say discernment first. So ONE there are religious demons, that LOVE end of of the world, humans kinda vibe. I got one I should know I have the receipts ☝🏼! They cause religious confusion but more so more than ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD they LOVE to CONDEMN. For things done and never did! This in turn makes US judge others. This is different than our natural judgements. But in our hearts we want to wake people up with our words we want to save souls and that is admirable.

Love is an action.

I previously wrote in my blog that condemnation on further isolates the individual, allowing the the demon to use them at will because that person is not being EDUCATED. Real conversation, honesty, testimonies, educations, coping methods.

Point is these religious demons are something else and I don’t trust them. And while I want to believe some day I will have a relationship with God before I go I do not trust just anything anymore. As I said these are the same demons that pretended to be my grandparents, or telepathy with an ex and even God.

But if it’s God you know. I doubt Jesus would say “God dammit bitch…” but hey…. I could be wrong.

So I guess I am worried that these beings demons are at it again. Did the twin flame game, 1111 game, rapture game, lightworker game, witch game, and now let the JUDGEMENT games commence!

May the odds be ever in your favor, but the WON’T because every thing will be the opposite and every mistake will be amplified to the 1000th power and on replay for years.

Fuck that!

Something is not right there.

Below Pastor Mike Todd talks about this from a more biblical perspective not personal. Funny that both these popped up on my feed with in days of each other.

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Extra reading on 144k not related:

http://www.creation-science-prophecy.com/SealOfGod.htm

Dark Light? ✨

How do you trust the “light” when the “darkness” is false light. It looks like light. Can act like “light” deities …. ancestors or loved ones?

This entity said to another entity “yea we lit her (me) up like a Christmas tree” mean lit me up with a bunch of Entities and demons and curses beings black magic.

So how do you trust the “light”?

How do you know?

Does it even exist?

Is there even good spirits or spiritual world?

Why are these beings doing this? It seems pointless to me?

10 years of stalking to then try to convince me to commit suicide in the last 3 years? For what?

Idk. Darkness has light….. quiet a bit of it too. Rationing it out for more light or whatever the agenda is. Idk. But they have light. Like a dull lighting. And it sucks that two worlds can not get along …… but it would only make sense….. look at our world but then knowing HOW they influence our world negatively and now are just becoming more noticed …….

BIG SIGH….. just doesn’t make sense.

Happy 😊

I am choosing to be alone and fight this demon thing on my own. I don’t want to drag anyone into this I don’t want to this thing to jump or place a little fragment of itself in someone else. Also I know for a fact this entity wants to keep me from dating or being with any one else and has worked hard to interfere in my relationships.

I want it gone.

And then I think about the symbiotic relationship between actually engaging joy and not trying to protect it and healing. Because these beings have no body other than my own and are limitless or at least never ending in their chatter.

But the most important relationship is the one with myself which is constantly being intercepted.

Joy for was simple it was seeing people eat the food I spent hours preparing, joy was nothing but me and my baby blue bike getting lost in the outskirts of NYC and having find our way home enjoying the views of new neighborhoods and sunsets with the faint smell of honeysuckles. Joy was being my own personal doctor (google doctor) and gym trainer and cheerleader and telling myself to go that extra mile or learning the intricacies of detoxing the body.

But I can’t do that now. The voice make bets on leading me astray and down the wrong path, down to dates and appointments. Habits. Compulsions. Information. Promises. Everything is a lie.

So there is no time for joy only time for trying to figure out their lies. And if I have a moment of joy …… happiness……. laughter….. I am usually quickly punished with something about my ex, my father, child molestation, my sister dying which are all triggers.

So how do I find or obtain or grow or cultivate joy? Through the pain? Through the disgusting thoughts they shoot at me that enrage me in ways I didn’t know way possible? When I have tried my hardest? Or don’t try at all….. every angle ….. maybe just wait and they a tear come my eyes worried about another year that might past with prayers unanswered. That they will accumulate more and more and I will be no different than most of the other schizophrenics or targeted individuals or spiritually possessed (awakened mediums ect).

I know I must seem like the most womp womp bitch on the planet but I’m not im just being honest and critical about my situation. The situation IS critical . I have hella little monsters attracted to me and flowers all over my body and a snack on my third eye and astral parasites on my tummy that feel like a girdle. So life is 😳 and I’m on day 2 on antipsyche meds and it totally gave me the πŸ’©πŸ’©πŸ’© in the middle of the night so yea………

so I have to be critical there is a war on my body from almost every angle even myself. But I was trying to heal that.

Rambling………

Joy

I miss joy and veggies.

A Truth: Reconciliation ⏰

So I have seen 100s of different “entities” during this 3 year long attack. Mantis, aliens, golems, reptilians, troll, teddy bears, parasites, dragons, regular demons, geckos, “acturians”, vampire, ghosts, Shadow “people”, lotus’, sunflowers and daisies, butterflies, infinity symbols, Isis and Osiris statue, cats, mermaids, like half woman half man human esq faces, and countless other ones I can not describe. MOST that I see seem to be just heads. Head cut off by a circle. They were almost drawings and could be anything or anyone.

Now I HAVE heard my ex’s voice actually still do unfortunately. I’ve heard my mother’s and fathers. I’ve heard pretty much all of my coworkers when I was really loosing my mind. And that is why I thought it was originally telepathy.

I also hear 2 male voices and a female voice that I do not know who they are but they the main harassers. (“Gang stalkers”)

And I guess that’s where I came to a am epiphany. I saw 100s of astrals all over my NYC apartment. On the TV, on the enclosing my room creating a matrix, on my dresser in the hallway…… like woa, but my assumption is that they are all derivatives fragments of the same whole and can conglomerate at anytime and …………. say………. go back to what ever layer of hell it came from? Maybe?

I will hear the same voice coming off the TV in the living room or in my sisters room depending. Both have a little purple energy blob (actually more than one) hanging around it. That’s why ambient TV kills me because the Entity can manipulate sound as long as sound is happening. If not they they resort to white noise in the ears.

ANY WAYS, besides all of the different costumes (out of the 100s of Entities I have seen I still don’t know who has been speaking to me), and ALL the different “personalities” they try to pull off (such as my friends, family, coworkers, ex’s, lololol GOD lol) one thing has remained the same is their ACTUAL personality. One I’m not familiar with. So I’m going to assume at least one is new, but if I assume too much that just create more story and story gives them more play time.

Generally speaking these entities fit the profile of a “reptilian” sexually perverted, controlling, mean, manipulative, liars, mind control, dark negative thoughts all that corny shit. Most will just call them demons.

Be it targeted individuals, attacked “awakened” (whatever the fuck that means now a days), schizophrenics, or possessed, the voices are all generally the same. Vile, sexually depraved, twisted “consciousness”. They repeat the same shit over and over and over and over πŸ™„ and over and over again. Looping the same gross ass thought and trying to convince YOU that’s YOU lol when it’s THEM! Even when you know!

So the fact that these Entities are generally the same either saying the same thing or with the same agenda speaks volumes. But of course each person has their own individual life so of course each fragment of this energy will be tailored to them more less.

But there are too many commonalities. And I’m starting to get really over this…… and I’m pretty sure others are as well.

I don’t need proof with all these photos (although I have it). I don’t need to listen to them because all they have done is caused pain and looped it, lead me astray in my true “spiritual” journey and distracted me from my joy.

I know it’s not easy that’s why they use mind control tactics in our sleep. But for those that are struggling in this fucked up false ass matrix……….

πŸ‘ΎπŸ‘ΎπŸ‘Ύ GAME OVER!!! πŸ‘ΎπŸ‘ΎπŸ‘Ύ

Monkey Mind πŸ™‰πŸ™ˆπŸ™Š

“Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil”

I heard about the “monkey mind” here and there in reference to meditation. I think I just assumed it was the normal “thoughts” when you are trying to meditate and your mind loops “make sure to do this or that , hmm I want coffee after this, my back hurts, ect” ….. very rarely I would get a random image.

After being attacked the loops became more subtle the visions more often and it was all with the goal of mind control. One thing the quote above doesn’t mention feeling. Often burns and pinches and buzzing and electrocuted….. feeling raped … either end ….. held down or harnesses or cuffs. Like someone held my hand or kisses me. There where a lot of feelings and then SUGGESTIONS by the Entities as to what those feelings were or what they meant or what they symbolized.

But essentially it was all a lie.

Where I thought there was a ring on finger was probably a astral parasite placed there by an Entity. The harness that forced me to sit up straight and was part of their “domination” fantasy was probably also a bunch of astral parasites wrapped around my body, because the wanted to “teach me how to be a lady”.

So I hear, see, feel, but TRY not to speak evil, although it is spoken to me…… lies. Lie after lie after lie after lie.

The monkey mind is real but I have a house party going on and I don’t know why or how to stop it even if I keep an “empty” mind, they just fill it…… with nonsense….. none stop talking about stuff that makes no sense. Stuff from tv in a different room, mixed with the title of an email from a week ago sealed with their normal sexual perversions. So I’m observing the babbling and occasionally will be like HUH? But will go back to just trying to an “empty mind” or pretending it is or just not engaging the Entities since they are completely insane.

There was a certain amount of monkey mind I agreed to or I thought was normal. The to do lists the getting things done ya know and then when the attacks happened and the house party happened I wasn’t totally aware what was truly MY internal dialogue.

There are spiritual concepts of “expanding consciousness” and I often wonder what is that? What or who or how is “consciousness” being expanded? Is this just another lie? Another trick to agreeing to allowing our bodies to being used until they can’t anymore.

I honestly don’t even see how these Entities can continue…… I can barely move some days. Again if I take a photo I can see ways in which I have been probed with their parasites and toy and tools and whatever else they use to do what they do.

I KNOW I’ve tried my best from many angles and I know I gotta be “patient”. But being stuck in the house because I don’t want these Demonic Entities to use little random children for pedophile shit in my mind is such a GRIM existence and I’m not sure if what I am waiting for will ever arrive. And I hear of so many schizophrenics who are stuck in the house for one reason or another for most of their life.

I once said something to the extent “It’s not how long you wait it’s what you do in the moments you wait.” This was to touch on being patient and intentional. But the things I would normally do in the “moments that I wait” I can’t engage in. I can’t go to the gym or farmers market …. lay out in a park for hours….. just take it easy until that next phase of life happens.

I don’t know how to cope or deal or heal with this one. All I have is faith that the demons are trying so hard to take away or condemn me for when I don’t have the perfect answer.

Big Deep Breaths! 🐨

“I AM Isis”: The Throne

When I first started hearing audible voices the Entities pretended to be my ex (false twin flame) an practically was forcing me to say “I am Isis”. Every day for almost a month the voice of my ex or a woman pretending to be an angel or his friend or something kept saying just say “I am Isis” and I mean Isis is cool. I know a lot of twin flames dig her.

When I was young my family gave me a lot of Egyptian children’s toys. And I always kinda loved mythology growing up. But these Entities definitely ruined that for me.

So in my twenties many of my friends were Caribbean mainly Haitian and Puerto Rican and so Ifa (Yoruba) and Santeria were things were talked about. So I also studied some of the mythology as well since many of my friends references these Gods and Goddesses as like some one would say Isis.

When I looked up the name of Isis, her name means. So Isis means “throne” in Egyptian mythology.

I never understood why they wanted me to call myself Isis. First they said I was in a past life, then they said it was code names, then it just got all really crazy and mixed up and scary.

Either way I was thinking yesterday about about something. One of the Entities who was dressed as an “Acturian” wrote in a photo “I test before I sit”, I told her I fail and she can have a seat somewhere else. One that didn’t feel very “Acturian” in nature and I don’t trust anyone now.

In Santeria and I believe in Ifa (might be called something different) called “mounting” which the Orisha takes over the human body. Usually these are designated ceremonies for this.

So the other day it’s like this experience and the name Isis and mounting all clicking for a moment.

My mind my body is a throne in which these entities sit who wish to be worshipped like Gods and or Goddesses. But unfortunately from what I SEE they are not. They don’t act like it, look like it and unless rape and migraines is Goddess status nah.

I can’t say how it is for other religions. I know Orishas have very specific ways they are suppose to act. So I guess I’m trying to understand where does my experience fall in all of this.