Who am I? What Am I?

I spent all morning racking my brain around, WHAT and WHO exactly am I in this “menagerie” of Entities and beings floating around me and my house.

These beings are starting to cover my own face to the point in a EMF photo you can barely see my actual face. (Again if you want to see you can just ask but those particular photos were scary so I won’t post them till I understand them better).

I feel like if you aren’t careful any being will come in and tell you who and what you are, just feeding yet ANOTHER matrix of lies to crawl out of. I don’t mind observing possibilities of truth, but I’m not taking anything for absolute truth just yet.

So you’ve seen it…… the memes that say we “are the light, be the light.”, that we “need to look INSIDE ourselves for the truth” all these riddles when we could just say hey this is what’s up. Either way…… how exactly am I suppose to look at myself physically or with in?

This part is kind of confusing me. I’ve worked on my mental A LOT and my emotional and while I might be 100% compared to where I was 3 years ago I did THE WORK while getting my ass rapped and beat my Entities.

I guess because I was/am assaulted by Entities there is a part of me that wants to just jump out of my body and handle them properly.

But also this all came from realizing how the have high jacked my imagination/ 3rd eye vision and my dreams. I’m my dreams I realized that it wasn’t mean driving or creating the dreams it was them. One of the Entities even was so bold to draw a simple drawing of who he was driving my dream, he was also trying to write but was having difficulty. I was only the observer. But how? Why? Very few of my dreams make sense now. They are mundane or just …. fast pace…. overall weird…. and I dream ALLL THE TIME. So it’s more like a place for them to play or live and act out and less likely my own consciousness. They are looney that is the best way I can describe it.

So as the observer and I can control this body 95% I say that because they can jolt my body and make it shiver, burn, be in pain etc and on rare occasions moved a limb, a toe or a pinkie. They can make me feel but they can not make me move with out a strong suggestion that I agree to. Say going to smoke a cigarette.

But how do I find that light with in? Truly? Not some illusion set up by the Entities.

Why in a photo I can see them but I can’t see myself (spiritually)? Am I locked in this body? Which is fine why is that these other beings can come and go as they please? And hurt my body?

I have so many question? And I again just don’t know where to go for answers. Or if those answers will suffice.

Part of healing to for me is deconstructing how and why we suffer. Critique it, trying to make it better for the next person. I take what I learned in 3D about healing and apply it spiritual. I have the option to wait on Gods grace (and the assumption) do nothing about my situation or I can be an active part in my healing and try to break this shit down not just for me but for others that feel like they are loosing it because of this odd experience.

I doubt any one reads this crap but lol if you have any good books or articles or methods to understand this better let me know.

❤️🙏🏼❤️

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Do demons deteriorate the body?

I wonder if one of the reasons we dont grow as old as we use back in the biblical days is that “demons” attachs to and deteriorate the body with their EMF radiation.

Not all of them are felt but seen, not all are seen but are felt. Some give off larger EMF readings than others.

This is outside of thinking about how they give us bad habits and so forth. Just a thought and observation.

Turning My Spiritual Attack into a Blessing

So don’t get me wrong. I have my days. And I want it to stop and I am standing my ground firm on that the best way I know how.

However…. my eyes have opened to knew worlds and communities of people I never knew existed. If it wasn’t for the internet I might be dead to be honest. Between the twin flame community and the targeted Individual community and the schizophrenic community there are so many that I can relate to. Most of us have learned to be soft with each other and built heart connections based on our traumas that we really can’t share with many people with out sounding completely looney.

But it’s important to really talk about it and unravel everything. Even as much as I write about everything it’s still difficult. Multiply storylines and merging storylines happened as well as confusion so at times I can only follow one frame work but usually there were multiple happening at the same time.

I want nothing more then to stop hearing voices all day long, and being raped by demons and being called vile names and shown distrusting images.

But this torture only propelled my fight to be outspoken for those who are are afraid to speak, to research, to observe.

I will always say I traded my FEAR for CURIOSITY. That was the first step to no fear. I picked up my pen and drew what I saw or I typed in my blog exactly what I was experiencing in that moment.

I then was able to reference back to these things at a later date and hopefully see a progression of sorts. And there has been progress. Slow but progress.

Carl Jungs Shadow Work also helped me learn WHY the demon aliens chose the topics they chose. Shadow Work is like root work ….. it’s getting to the root of an issue and a core belief system. I know that child sexual abuse is a big trigger for me cause of a childhood wound (that I mention in this blog) and because it’s just wrong. And they know it upsets me so just keep hitting that button over and over and over again. But I realized where it stems from and made some piece because at first it seemed like it was coming from no where. Like hearing “you’re a child molester” one day out of no where after not thinking about my childhood trauma for eons just seems random. But now I know why they picked it. Because I would murder them for what they did to me….. and they know it I ain’t above that shit. I will bust some 👽 alien mars attack heads idgaf!

ANYWAYS! 😇

So other than getting to meet new people and expanding my community (which has been difficult due to homophobia and low key racism in the spiritual community but that’s a whole other story) and learning more about myself, I also seen a whole other world *cue Aladdin theme song*.

While this world was scary and confusing. If this this world exist ….. I know there is a God. While they def look like aliens and act like demons…. I’m not sure WHAT dimension I am in exactly. So again trade the fear of the unknown for curiosity. Not sure how long I will be here but I can document as much as I can while I am.

They can hurt us, but figure out HOW they hurt us. They won’t kill you (least that I know of) just make you want to off yourself. Suicide is kind of like their signature move.

The more we strengthen ourselves and document for others struggling, hold space for other struggling, support them, allow them to feel, listen to them, the more we can start shedding light on these alien demons that are holding innocent humans hostage.

We can turn this into a blessing. Alien/demons are real! Let’s stop acting like it’s just Hollywood. Where you think they get the creativity from? So! Let’s turn it into a blessing and flip this script on all of them real quick. They messed with the wrong generation!

Peace and Love

❤️🙏🏼❤️

I have to accept that I was a the “Crazy Ex Girlfriend”

I was a fucking cliché. For the first time in my life. A fucking cliché. Guys get to call their ex crazy all the time only this time i actually was/am.

I was starting to spiral out with this idea that my ex was my twin flame and we had a special telepathic connection because i kept hearing him tell me telepathic messages. Like the song he sent me.

And i kept contacting him (which isn’t like me) thinking that that we could repair things. And no matter how much he hurt me, cause he did, i kept walking away and coming back and walking away. Everytime he hurt me i would walk away but then i would come back for some reason i could not understand. And i, in turn, was probably hurting him.

Because of the connection (the voices that I thought was him) i couldn’t walk away and make a clean break. This may have even scared him. And i take responsibility in all my confusion and madness for that.

I guess the fact that he has been blessed with a beautiful relationship and child …… Makes me think that our relationship really must have been ……. Hell. And that hell has been transfered over to me to live in.

I don’t know why evey thing started to spiral out with him. Or why the voices chose him a 6 month relationship and not my soul mate of 5+ years. At least they would have more material. But i guess what they were looking for is negative material.

I made a fool or myself ultimately. Even if he didnt see or know about all of it. And that is something i will still have to heal from. I just dont know how to heal with negative voices all day everyday. And i know how to heal (believe me). I just dont know how to heal like this.

Will the truth ever come out?

Will the truth ever come out in my life time?

Like if this some Targeted Individual technology will there be justice for all that has suffered across the world?

If this is reptilian archon mantis grey aliens attack will they ever come out of hiding? What are we going to do?

Demons? Will God avenge for their evil deeds? Soon? I hope!

Schizophrenia? Medication that actually works?

I WOULD LOVE to tell my family friends SEE I TOLD I WASN’T CRAZY!

I honestly could not make this stuff up in my brain. I don’t know why they want to ruin my life.

I guess i say this because i woke up from a name and there is a plasma light that keeps coming and going in my eye or 3rd eye whatever….. So it lights up what i would not normally see with my eyes close so i see the shadows of whats attached to me. This time AGAIN i saw the outline of a little alien dude in a space ship. this is maybe the 3rd time i have seen this. It looks so…….. Cartoony that its hard to believe its real….. Idk but it is what i saw. They all look cartoony i guess.

So im like is it the alien dude in a space ship or is it the reptilian or is a demon im over it i need answers im so over it.

Whatever bye. Lol.

Church: Honor?

About the 36:00 mark.

So honor.

Honor hasn’t been that much of an issue for me. I’ve respect most living beings.

I guess my issue is with the real enemy. These demons that have been torturing me for years. I have my eye on buying a Telsa Coil that is suppose work on sending electromagnetic pulses through the body getting rid of morgenella, parasites and they said etheric attachments as well.

But am I suppose to honor and wait on God? I can’t deal with these sick thought one more day! How do you honor a demon? Why would you honor? A best I feel bad for them as they are slaves to their nature. They do not know true love, joy they just observe it. Mimic it. Badly at that.

Can I honor a demon as it ruins my life and rapes me?

Twin Flame Be Like: Dance

I only identify with Twin Flame as a part of my story. I dont believe my ex is my actual twin flame as the demon voices really wanted me to believe. They wanted me to be obsessed with him and in pain …. Heartache. And i aint got time for that. The demon alien assholes fucked with the wrong chick.

BUT i am emo and i love aft culture and relatable content i donhave a sense of humor. So this choreography felt relatable to the twin flame thing for me when ibwas going through it so i wanted to put it here.

Enjoy it either way.

Last Nights Nightmare

So last night my friend went to the hospital for stomach and back pains. I am try hard not to attribute it to acute spiritual attack by these demons. She said she suddenly feels like she has no energy and of course she that’s what Demonic attacks feel like. But at the same time she has taken on a large t of school work and a new relationship and is a single parent. That’s why I help with watching my Godson so she can be a bit mobile a make it to NA meetings once a week as a part of her recovery.

Either way I trying my hardest not to trip and think any thing is my fault. That my mere existence and my presence has a negative impact when I’m trying my hardest to have a positive one. These demons have choice in who they go to next. It is not random clearly. It’s their choice not mine.

So last night I randomly took a a light box photo of myself while watching Jessica Jones on Netflix’s. A light box photo is this app that les you take photos in night and makes the photo sensitive to light. Basically it’s an EMF photo. I’ve posted a few before you can check out my media gallery (if you know how to I don’t). I won’t post the photo publicly because the I’m embarrassed a bit but if you want see the photo privately I will show you just message me. My fried said the ok lol very clear like reptilians.

That is how serious this photo is. Basically energetically (emf) it’s a mans face overlaying over my face to the point you can’t see my face. And above my head is a shadowy figure with its hands over my ears and the man and the shadow figure look connected through a cord of such. It is FREAKY.

It made me upset. Because I recognized this “mans” face from other times he has tried to scare me and even dreams. I’m not sure what his problem is or why he is here. He is around but doesn’t come into the picture frame often. And I guess cause I caught him on camera that might of upset him to scaring me a bit.

So my friend put on white noise “soothing sound of rain” to go to sleep and Soon as she went to sleep they started to go to town with talking really loud about about god knows what but kept calling me an idiot for about 5 or 10 mins before I got up to go smoke a cig. Then when I move I got hit with a huge light blue energy ball like I heard, it felt, saw it. It was like a little mini explosion light when gas catches fire. I never felt anything like that before. I just kind of stayed put for a few minutes before getting up again to see if it was going to happen again.

Everything is so strange. I felt fear for the first time in a while. I was also upset. Upset that some MAN (could have been a mantis entity being in a mask, yea I know sounds crazy but I’ve seen beings wear masks before) fucking face was over my face where my face should be. So soon as I got angry they were able to trade that for fear by talking over the white noise and sounding really human like.

Just not a good night over all. And the meds suck. I feel more agitated and irritated than usual.

Energy Healing & Entity Removal Work

It’s so funny whether i pay or not. Pay a little or a lot. Amateur or seasoned professional. These healers have all gave me an excuse (usually throwing something i told them in my face) as to why their healing session did not get rid of this fucking disgusting voice/ entity like they said it would. No refunds either. Not even a thought or a kind gesture of any kind. I mean regaurdless of my story or belief system, if they have a service they should be able to just pluck that sucka out like the ticks that they are. Right? My whole blog is dedicated to how much i hate this situation and trying to keep whats left of my sanity in tact. And some fake ass healer had nerve to say I have stockholm syndrome and i am in love with the abusive entities. I’m glad everyone out here telling me what I AM including the entities and NOT doing what they need to be doing which leaving (entities) or removing (healers).

It is really disheartening.

So many people willing to call Christianity a con but New Age is a con job too. Maybe even worse as they offer themselves as the alternative to religion with so many paid services. I mean if i cant help someone i would just tell them and tell them why or my limitations ect so they know its not shade.

I know these people arent malicious. And maybe they drink their own kool-aid. But the placebo effect, if you will, is not working on me. I was in a life or death situation with these demons. And all i could really do is hunker down in my bed for a year or two and just take the beating and spiritual, energetic, astral, etheric, cosmic, whatever abuse. For reasons I really don’t know, because these demons lie all day. So idk what the truth is really. And if some “healer” is channeling any information from them they will only be cyphering lies.

This is so frustrating!

I need to talk to management! Shit is out of hand! 😔