Imaginary Friend ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿƒ

I had some “the gruge” like or alien raptor visuals in the begining ….. But I laughed at them …. So oddly my visuals are not AS strong although I have like floating emojis around the house which are odd and visions of child abuse or which is terrifying or random photos of people. 

I guess I am more stern because of the auditory …. Speaking creates more of a relationship. So it’s like one moment the voices would have me crying from saying moms gonna die, then sucidial from a sick visual of child sexual abuse and then trying manipulate me back into a friendly demeanor by making jokes or saying they love me. I realized this was a cycle of abuse. 

The Reconciliation /Honeymoon phase is “The victim feels pain, fear, humiliation, disrespect, confusion, and may mistakenly feel responsible. Characterized by affection, apology, or, alternatively, ignoring the incident, this phase marks an apparent end of violence, with assurances that it will never happen again, or that the abuser will do his or her best to change.” 

The first time I was introduced to this was when my best friend in high school told me that her mom would beat her, and then clean her wounds and tell her sorry and it won’t happen again and do it again. I asked my mom if she could live us but she couldn’t. 

Once I found this habitual pattern of abuse…. As much as those funny moments are so important for relief to the constant verbal abuse… To love and not hate…. To laugh….. I sadly had to accept that these voices will never change…. And I can no longer enable their abuse. Nor can I trust any attempt to gain my trust. 

This is called trauma. Not being able to leave a state of constant distrust or being on gaurd…… Physically harms the body in itself as well as how I interact with others. I’m trying to simply be clear and stern about my boundaries rather than be become a full blown narc. But it hurts and its hard because this is NOT my true nature. 

Sans the sick twisted abusive stuff…. I have no problem having an imaginary alien rapture friend that remixes gregorian music, plays air ghost tic tac toe and makes decent jokes given a natrual break in communication and with out pain from them touching me is gone.

Yea…. I am liberal about being crazy.

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Archon Name Calling ๐Ÿ˜ข

Today was a little tough. I had to go do a task for my father. So it was going a little outside of my comfort zone. It started off as general pain.m, I could feel the entity tighten its grip around my neck or feel the pressure on my head and jaws and I tried to manage the back pain I always and only worsened with all the extra weight.

So I got some molten popped 4 got a coffee and hoped it would work soon. I started to study the outline of other people looking to see if they had the same as me. I only saw on a few people on the bus, but often they can turn sideways (the thin side) to not be visible like seeing an aura.

I also had the knocking tugging at my back outside for the first time. I never felt this outside before. 

Either, I pushed through the pain never sure of what I was seeing or what it even means. 

Then I wanted to share a snack with my mom that use to get when I was younger in the village called Pomme Frits, its like Belgium cut fries and all these crazy sauces so I thought it would be cute to share with her. Its in the NYU area on the city and as I walked through as I have many times before, this Demonic Archon started loosing its ever loving consciousness, and started doing the “child molester” play again. 

So I just keep walking, trying to get to first ave even though my back/ core felt like a noodle. I just kept walking ignoring it trying to breathe and just get to 1st Ave. 

Once I got to the bus stop and sat down I broke down crying. Because its such a gross game and thing to do. Like damn I can’t get some fries and chill one day? 

In some ways calling ME a child molester is an INSULT to my soul, to my core to who I know myself to be. I sometimes feel like its a cruel joke making fun of the fact that I am infertile because of PCOS. “You’ll never be a mom”, “you’re a child molestor”, “you heal no one”. 

A lady at the bus stopped asked me if I was OK I lied and said I was fine and thanked her. I was just over the day by then. I’m tired of being “strong”. I just want this over with, the voice, the thoughts, the headaches, the rape, the crazy dreams, done. 

The is no excuse for this torture. 

Haunted House ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿข

So with being able to now see these demonic archon jelly blobs I see them around the house. 

First I notices 3-4 in the bathroom (one splits and then goes back), one large one in my dining room, and 3+ in my room (its dark so not easy to see). 

Today I noticed that there was one in the middle of my narrow New York City apartment kitchen. How I noticed is I was being a fat ass had some pizza that was too hot and then you know blew the heat off my mouth. But then I noticed a lot of steam. An abnormal amount so then took a step back and I used my eyes to to see and low and behold there was one right in my kitchen.

My only thing that has me questioning is placement of these things in my house. Like they are strategically placed at head level.  Even sitting down on the toilet. 

So what the fuck is really going on?!?

I mean I already knew I was being watched in a way, but now I’m not sure how or why or how to get rid of them. Or stop hearing them or seeing them. Cause most people don’t hear or see this shit. 

My guess is that my “schizophrenia” is maybe two or three in or aroubd my head.

That’s my guess. Since they can change shape and size more or less.

I really need help understanding this. I keep hitting a wall it seems on my own. 

Orbs vs Voice ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘€

So I have wondering if these orbs are directly, indirectly or if I all related to the voice. 

The orbs seem more common if I search “spirit” realm rather than the archon realm of the internet side of 

I mean I see orbs of different sizes, shapes and colors. Definitely 4 in the bathroom, maybe one or two with me if I go outside and some in the house in general but I haven’t counted.

The orbs definitely have a temperament about them. Some are fast or slow, or big or large some are shapes. Some hide and some float in my face.

But this voice. No matter the tone, or sound, the voice female or make, there always seems to be a sameness about the topic or temperament. 

Maybe there is one greedy orb in my head that refuses to leave. 

So maybe my question is my answer. The fact that I even wonder may be the answer. That I can’t concretely, settle on one definitive answer. 

Does something else USE these orbs to it advantage? Can the orbs speak on their own? They clearly respond but I don’t feel connected between the voice(s) and interaction.

They can hear me. But I don’t know if I can hear them directly especially with this main one cursing at me and just being crazy. 

I just don’t want be dragged into another delusional game like the twin flame thing and my ex. 

I do want to be mindful, I do want to understand body and my surroundings and how everything interacts. I think that’s fair. 

“Dark Night of the Soul” is Bullshit ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ’ฉ

This whole concept of “dark night of the soul” is bullshit. At least my version is. 

Life has its ups and downs natrually and yes we gain lessons from it whatever, some times we are lost…. confused, mistake are made whatever. But this concept of the “dark night of the soul”, while it DESCRIBES AN experience it is also spiritually misleading to say you did something to deserve this, or “this is a gift”, you’re turning into lil bitty butterfly to fly away into the astral planes.

Uhm NO, you are being spiritually and psychically abused for no reason AT ALL and you were given a really lame ass excuse fantasy lullaby as to why, called the dark night of the soul. 

SO. You are told to “surrender” MORE, be MORE “healthy”, do MORE yoga, all this “trust the process”, accept the pain and karma and bla bla bla….

NO. You are enough at any given moment. “Learning to surrender” means what? To what? Cause honestly this whole shit was a set up and fuck all of the programs that limit your divine free will! All of them!

FUCK the “Twin Flameโ„ข” program (love, lust, heartbreak, relationship, obsession exploitation), FUUuUCK the “Dark Night of the Soulโ„ข” (spiritual and psychic abuse) program, fuck “Kundaliniโ„ข” (spirit, possession, health) bullshit, fuck the “Conspiracy Theoryโ„ข” program (mofos out here trying to find the edge of the earth, aliens that prolly don’t even look like REAL aliens, ghost goblins, government whatever ect). Fuck “Ascencion /Awakening โ„ข” program (feeling all these crazy “energy”, new earth bs, religious, shamanism, activations, light body “evolution”, empathic, insane 1111 bullshit, “consciousness” bs, “ego death”, past life karma) bla bla bla bla bla. NOPE its all psychological mental, emotional and physical exploitation abusive warfare. No homie you haven’t transcended shit, just jumped from the frying pan into the fire. 

NO, NOPE …. Just no. It’s just prolly possession, which is some “implant” demonic archon program (playing you like video game) you literally possess (have) playing out whether you are aware of it or not. 

Fuck it all….. Fuck “the path“, fuck this fake ass “spiritual journey” bullshit that is meant to control you and make you feel like you’re doing something (wrong or good) with your life. Like your life has no meaning (which is does! And its not to sit here and eat bullshit flakes all day). I mean HEY if you are THAT bored in life be my fucking guest. If you want to take on some bullshit burden of some fake ass past life karma that you know nothing about and has nothing to do with your ACTUAL life, gah head. If that works for you! Won…der. ..ful……. 

All this shit is basically excusing “spiritual violence / abuse” and we want to say as people who want a better earth for ALL, that because someone didn’t get cosmically JUMPED by some demonic archon alien jelly fish thing that they are “spiritually bypassing”, granted some people are just fake ass bitches, but if you want to wear a badge of honor for being spiritually raped and tortures for no fucking reason, cool. Wear your super star ๐ŸŒŸ sticker, I however could and would have done better with out this waste of time. Call me arrogant, but clearly you never had rape simulated on you everyday for two fucking years after being physically raped.

You don’t need it! It’s unnecessary, you don’t need a spirit guide if you are already your best self in each moment. Where are the spirit guides for the rapist?! Fuck fake ass spirit guides too, lying ass mother fuckers, guess what your spirit guides real name isn’t Jim, or Greg or Tiffany or Isis. So already your whole “relationship” is built on a lie! ANY MORE lies you would like to tell your subject JIM?!?

Its a matrix of lies. That’s a truth. That doesn’t make nature any less real or YOU any less human. This is not a “holographic” universe its a holographic bullshit mind matrix that is void of any actual truth or love to confuse and distract the shit out of people frim being their best selves. 

Throat “chakra” game on point cause speak from the heart. Fuck out of here with all this bulshit! And all the lies and manipulation to misdirect and deceive people of the earth!

That’s the new earth!

AH fucking CHOO to all the Bullshit! 

C R Y I N G ๐Ÿ˜ข

I did have a suicidal thought just now cause I really really tired of their pedophile tactics aaaaalllll day. And I’m trying to “stay strong” but the Archon Demon Alien dot thing keep saying “If I were you I would commit suicide instead of enduring all this” referring to the pedo child molestor incest rape torture simulation it does. 

Like my friend sent me “love and light” energy today and this was the FIRST time EVER i actually felt love and light energy. It was warm and went into my belly area (where there is an archon) and almost immediately I wanted to be creative and draw or make a poem. Like I’ve spent $3,000 in the last two years on “healers” trying to address this shit and this was the first time I felt something like that. 

So I drew a picture, the archon๐Ÿ’ฉ still harrassed me on my parents TV as I was drawing I ignored it. And immediately after I felt good and satisfied with my drawing and went to lay down and they/it whatever went into a pedo attack flashing images of children and zaping my genitiles and its driving me to my limits.

So yea I said “considering it” (suicide)

Like I try to toughen up …  But then I break down…. Cause I hate it and I cry, and my friend said its good to cry but I hate crying cause they force me cry sometimes for fun and like you can only cry so much. So I write or act like I don’t care now.

 I’ve told them to leave already all day, poking them with sage. Its not listening and what they do to my body is so gross. 

My friend keeps telling me no schiz meds and just hold on cause things are changing. They (archons darkness) have already lost cause people are waking up and can see them, sense them, and see the game. Ect. 

But I just can’t with this pedo shit anymore, nothing is worth this gross shit, super power, ability, love, heaven, 5D earth, getting on the space ship N O T H I N G!!!!! Ever!

๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

“Archon Mind Parasite Self-Defense”

This video is interesting and grounding. 

1. While I truly enjoy understanding the “chakra system”, I believe it is a great way of understanding and bring mindful of the part of our body. I also do not truly believe we have 7 cones of energy. I think it can be a good way to understand organs and parts of the mind by compartmentalizing these idesas but not as an actual system. The concept is fine….. But diving deep into the illusion of being some super human is where we get caught by these Entities. 

We are electromagnetic, this is true. We have metals in our body. But how that actually looks I have no idea. 

2. As stated these beings will pretend to be anything of authority. And will play off of both bad and “positive” emotions or words to control. So it really is a double edge sword. So I have narrowed the single most important thing is ignorance. Lack of awareness will have you pulled in so many different directions. Happy sad angry. So when we are aware that these being are trying implant mistrust or fear anger or even manic happiness we are not in control. 

3. More recently I “saw” visuals that were not visions of “light” that looked like a couple of different things. One looks like maybe 20 circles inside of each other, another like jellyfish lights, others are sparks of “light” or globs of colorful “energy” that looks like its leaving my being . This is false light , this is not real light. It is not coming from the sun, or a lamp. I doubt it is coming from me. But even if this “light” is coming from me, the fact that it is being tampered with to create “light” is still false. So be careful of being lured by “the light”. All that glitters is not gold.

4. Between being in spiritual forums and schizophrenic forums to just everyday interactions it is very easy to see how we are all affected. Its easy to observe.

5. I have no idea how to get rid of these things. Again prior to being “attacked” I was on an organic diet and fairly happy with only a break up that rattled my spirit. However prior to this full fledged experience, I can recall up until the age of 15 where these beings have been around me. Or have acted as “spirits” of loved ones, or “angels” or supposed “spirit guides. Being young, i just accepted it as such cause i didnt know any better. Movies, religion and so on talks about spirits, angels, demons, ect so it is socially acceptable. I moved on with my life. But this ignorance, because no that was not my deceased grandma or grandpa, and no that flash of light was not an angel trying to help you, that ignorance is what comes to haunt me later.  

Don’t get me wrong, that idea of believing in angels or the spirit of our loved ones “being with us”, there is nothing wrong with this idea. If we want to embody the archetype idea of an angel is fine,if we want to comfort ourselves with the idea of our deceased loved ones looking down on us or living on “through us” as a form of ancestry that’s fine. Poetic of sorts. But these ideas can also be manipulated by these beings. In fact anything can if we don’t have our Witt’s about us. 

So again its not a clear cut answer.

Lol but if I find one I will surely let you know. For now I am careful what I believe and keep things simple. Because these parasites are always trying to drag me into a storyline so they can position themselves in a place of power rather than what they really and truly are. 

I Wonder If I Never


If I never believed, or cared, or wondered why I saw what I saw. If I never read those articles that said seeing sparkles means your angels are around. 

If I never held my beautiful dreams in such high regards. Revealed in the otherworldly bliss. 

If I never thought there could actually be a special connection between two people. Telepathy between hearts. 

That maybe if I never thought there was something beautiful outside myself. Outside this world that seems so bleak at times. 

That maybe if I didn’t seek. Or believed in anything. 

That maybe I wouldn’t be in the situation I am in now with this demon. I don’t think anyone could truly be prepared. 

I was dumb to think the “other side of the veil” would be any better than this world.

I was naive. I have to forgive myself for not knowing any better. For falling prey…….. To the illusion.

I got dooped by false light and now I’m a “schizophrenic”.

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