When will the tears end? 😭

I was casually looking through my instagram. I was looking for a current photo where I had a ninja look going on. Then I looked at this photo and realized I had some of the same markings in my photos now that I had when I was a child.

Its like this flower portal thing. And I just cried because I don’t know why it’s here or why my life is being ruined because of it.

I was a child!

It had nothing to do with some past mistake I made that this demonic archon voice was trying to force me into suicide over.

This is so fucked up!

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Soul Star Chakra 🌟: Archon Halo ☁ 👼 ☁

So…………. The Archon’s portal energy balls I see on peoples heads and including my own look like halos you see in paintings. Straight up, no bullshit….. They are not glowing but they can invert from dark in the middle to light/clear on the outside or vice versa considering the lighting situation inside.

Last year my “twin flame” therapist told me about the “soul star chakra” which is also known as the “halo chakra”.

Simple stated in the link above “Your 8th Chakra known as the Soul Star Chakra is located about 12 inches to 3 feet from the top of your head (just above your Crown Chakra). Your Soul Star Chakra contains infinite energy, spirituality, Divine Wisdom and compassion. Also known as the Halo Chakra it’s what you see depicted in the historic paintings of Jesus Christ, the Saints and other Divine Masters. This chakra is the essential bridge between your Higher Self/Soul Self in the higher dimensions of reality and your incarnated human self (your personality and physical expression of your soul in third dimensional reality).

As your Soul Star Chakra becomes activated and expands you’ll begin to feel a strong need to align yourself with your Soul’s Mission to finally BE what you know on deeper levels you’re here to BE.”

Only I magically got the opposite! Why I gotta get the Satan halo? Is it suppose to be painful? This painful? 

Many people are saying that yes the body has natural chakras … And 3rd eye and all this good stuff but for some reason these natural systems are being manipulated and information is being falsafied so they can take advantage of us. 

There is an overlay. And its so painful. Like why doesn’t anyone tell you hey as some point you gonna get a half and shit it painful cause inter dimensional entities will prolly suck up you brain juices. I need a manual for this shit. 

Imaginary Friend 🍃👻🍃

I had some “the gruge” like or alien raptor visuals in the begining ….. But I laughed at them …. So oddly my visuals are not AS strong although I have like floating emojis around the house which are odd and visions of child abuse or which is terrifying or random photos of people. 

I guess I am more stern because of the auditory …. Speaking creates more of a relationship. So it’s like one moment the voices would have me crying from saying moms gonna die, then sucidial from a sick visual of child sexual abuse and then trying manipulate me back into a friendly demeanor by making jokes or saying they love me. I realized this was a cycle of abuse. 

The Reconciliation /Honeymoon phase is “The victim feels pain, fear, humiliation, disrespect, confusion, and may mistakenly feel responsible. Characterized by affection, apology, or, alternatively, ignoring the incident, this phase marks an apparent end of violence, with assurances that it will never happen again, or that the abuser will do his or her best to change.” 

The first time I was introduced to this was when my best friend in high school told me that her mom would beat her, and then clean her wounds and tell her sorry and it won’t happen again and do it again. I asked my mom if she could live us but she couldn’t. 

Once I found this habitual pattern of abuse…. As much as those funny moments are so important for relief to the constant verbal abuse… To love and not hate…. To laugh….. I sadly had to accept that these voices will never change…. And I can no longer enable their abuse. Nor can I trust any attempt to gain my trust. 

This is called trauma. Not being able to leave a state of constant distrust or being on gaurd…… Physically harms the body in itself as well as how I interact with others. I’m trying to simply be clear and stern about my boundaries rather than be become a full blown narc. But it hurts and its hard because this is NOT my true nature. 

Sans the sick twisted abusive stuff…. I have no problem having an imaginary alien rapture friend that remixes gregorian music, plays air ghost tic tac toe and makes decent jokes given a natrual break in communication and with out pain from them touching me is gone.

Yea…. I am liberal about being crazy.

Monster Logos ❤


Not all but many of the “energy”, entities, aliens, archons whatever you want to call them have a … Logo of sorts. I would assume, since they seem to be a hivr mind ad they attach to a humans individuality they long for that same separation. Thus a representation …. A logo of themselves of sorts.

Either way….. Each being…. Yes is individual in a way or for the moment…. And they CAN tether to you to sustain it self itself in whatever form that truly is. 

Just as they tether they can disconnect…. But who wants to find a new victim to learn? 

No I have seen “energy” or Entities that DID NOT connect to me physically and did not force itself to stay in my field or my home. 

I have to keep reminding myself there is a good spiritual world. And just because I have been forced to see this side that doesn’t make me a bad person for trying to understand and not leaving it to prayer alone. The Entities often try to guilt me…. Saying I’m a bad christian or something like that…. Because I donyt leave this to prayer alone. Again, Me, God, Meds. 

One of my friends told me about a story where she was in s parade in Chile and she fainted and then a shaman help her friend carry her to a place and then the shaman blew smoke on her back and pulled out like a teddy bear smoke logo. This teddy bear was a teather from an entity attempting to attach or hide in her. But was removed. 

Just like I had logos #, 👽, X, ❤  of all kinda stuff on arms and body. I can see but I can not remove them.

If I look directly where I know there is an “energy field” portal, alien demon whatever…. It will spew something at me…. It will sparkle maybe black maybe white and then I will see a smaller “portal” near me or a logo on my skin or my third eye. 

When I take photos of my face…. It legit looks like a child scribbled on my forehead. Especially the 3rd. I don’t know how long they last, or if they wash off in a shower… Or what. 

But sorry we want our people to be spiritually OK they need to know this shit good or bad.if you are walking around with a naked lady in your arua masterbating then that’s fucked up. That’s what I saw in this one guys field…. And he knew what I was talking about. I never a full figure before. 

I have no interest in playing with these entities…. Or anyone else for that matter when it comes to this. I seek to be free of the bullshit that is not me. Like this is basic shit. 

Black Obsidian: Root Chakra

So last night that insane “root chakra” vibrating rumble, burning, pin prick almost feels like my core is being yanked out…yea that feeling happened and so I put this obsidian on my vagina (non sexual yall, sorry its the demons fault I even think like that now).

Uhm it didn’t stop the vibration because then it just intensified… But it seems like it diverted it for a little while from directly with my cells. 

The virbatiin happens from the thighs all the way to the vagina area…. Sometimes a little further up into the actual reproductive system…. Sometimes feel like and empty yanking….. You know when your stomach growls… It feels like that but then a yanking sensation.

I know its one of those portal archon disks that’s doing this to me. They can get big or small…. Right small enough to be on the clit area and super annoying or large enought to include my thighs. I put my hand down there and usually it stop it but this time it was  so strong I could feel the buzz with my hand. 

I have used my thighs to squeeze it out more times then I have the energy for. Some say its “kundalini”. But can you actually push kundalini out if its naturally part of your spiritual body? 

Also there is no progressions to it. Kundalini I thought was suppose to progress in come way. 

I have had “kundalini” like sensation go up my back, very similar to to the root chakra…. But that always feel like a leaving sensation. 

It doesn’t make me feel good. I don’t like it I have no idea what’s going on….. Or why or the point of it all.

I just feel violated. I’ve never violated anyone. Ok maybe tickling my sister.

Either way the crystal didn’t help. Yes I cleaned them. Everyone keeps telling me to use crystals and so far they are only beautiful objects. A security blanket in the freezing winter.

——-+

UPDATE Google Doc SearchDoctor diagnosed Vibrating Vagina. I finally got the nerve to ask my doctor about the vibrating/humming sensation in my vagina. … He said the sensation is due to blood flow. The blood flow can cause turbulence which results in the vibratingfeeling.

———

I mean blood flows….  But in that way there is a stimuli like when you are with a lover…. Or there is a threat to the body. So just blood flow is not a good enough answer for me. But it is ONE biological answer. When I would squeeze my thighs until I heard a crunch I would see the fast clear circle shoot out from legs. 

Sometimes I wonder if I’m fucking myself up more than these aliens are just trying to figure out what’s happening to my body and why I don’t feel connected to it. 

Idk. I hate this. 

Triggered: Goddess Isis 🐝

As I said before when I was a kid my family gave me a lot of Egyptian stuff. Books, kits, games, writing stuff, art …. going to the museum. So it was something that always stuck with me.

But the Demonic Archon was forcing me to say “I AM Isis” and then called itself Osiris (my ex twin flame) and was raping me and calling me a child molestor and then forcing me to be christian and then trying to force me into suicide (“for my twin flame and dying of molestation”) and just all kinda shit. Just fucked up shit. 

And so like you know shit comes up on Facebook about goddess…. Like whatever …. But it Isis came up a few times today and I feel triggers. Like something that was special to me…. Has been defiled. it just reminds me of rape. That was something my family gave to me.

They rape visions as Isis…. Where fucked up. Like idk.

I don’t know what the point of all of that was or is.

So…. Whatever. 

Sleepy Time Tea 😴

So I have been able to get 8 hours of sleep. BUT I wake up every 2 hours with a dream and these demons talking. 

Only for a few days now. But regular sleep is important. I’m waking up fully at 6am and not 3pm. Which is …. Better. 

I actually hate taking the 8 benadryl but will do so if needed.

I’m trying to retain and guide my body while it doesn’t feel like its under my control. I feel as though I have partial control.

But I’m trying to prepare myself for the detox and going vegan which will be a huge change but not one that I’m not use to.

I also want to stop taking so many benadryl and Tylenol. I mean half the time tylenol doesn’t work but I take it anyway hoping it does.

I know that can’t be good for my body but there are folks taking 10+ medications for schiz alone and not showing the desired results.

I’m sensitive but I have a high threshold for pain. But that threshold has been lowered…. When I am being triggered by a demonic voice, have zero core strength and can barely walk down the block now, a migraine out of this world, and constantly being yanked back once I make any strides. 

Usually if it was just back pain I would focus on that pain… And intuitively adjust it with tools I have researched. But if it was too much I def went to a doctor. 

But yea back pain flaring up… I would do yoga or sleep in fetal position to open up my lower back and just adjust the area of pain. It worked usually. 

Same thing emotionally. With break ups…. Yea I was hurt… I would account for where thing may have gone wrong, move on and try to fix that next time. Maybe even become friend switch the person or send them an apology. I’m not above genuinely apologizing for being fucked up.

But I just can’t do all of that now. I don’t have the mental space. Its just having balls thrown at me constantly. So I just end up getting hit any moment I get healed.

Kundalini: Reversals 👆

This is from a Kundalini teacher ChrisM in a group I am in. I like his style. He doesn’t get all distracted with showmanship…. Razzle dazzle. And is usually straight to the point. Which I appreciate…. Cause I’m still “reclaiming my time” after all this demon shit. 

Either way here is the beautiful dialogue:

Chris M: If you are working with me or the information that comes through me I will advise you not to partake of information sources such as channelers. Or mediums or sorcerers and reiki practitioners. All these are subject to extreme distortion due to entity corruption. – chrism (to the group)

Me: I really didn’t want to part take but I wanted to understand what is/was happening to me. And I agree that many have a limited understand of what they are playing with or distorded views.  Still have yet to figure out how to rid my body of these perversions. Big sigh.

ChrisM: do the reversals continuously.

Me: Sorry where are the reversals? I read the (kundalini) safeties and some other stuff.

Chris M:

The Crucible of Reversal

You may have in some way opened yourself and your energetic proximities to the access of other consciousness or entities. In some way through a belief system or a practice, you have allowed certain safeguards to be eliminated from your personal space. Just as people can allow another person into their body so can a person allow these safeguards to be removed.

So you may wish to do a review of what practices you have been involved with that may have allowed this to occur. It can be a teacher who has not disconnected or a healing modality that encourages entity contact. Some of the Reiki formats have these characteristics where a person is encouraged to open to the “Universal Healing Masters” who can turn out to be entities just waiting for that opening. A session with a medium or a desire to channel can have these results. It can be a session with a psychic who is still connected to you or some forms of psychic intervention or healing.

So reach back into your experience past or present and see if you can locate a modality or person or school or teaching that helped you to “open” to the spirits of the multiverse. Ask your spouse to do the same as these can be shared events as well. See what comes up.

If nothing does then this can be an opportunity for you to experience the expression of a “Crucible of Reversal”. In essence you become a crucible of change for any entity that comes into your being. This takes effort on your part and will involve some uncomfortable experiences at first. As you begin to solidify your strength and mature your ethical standards as to include what and how you choose to feel and think and see. The entities that come to you will become transformed by their contact with you. In other words you turn the tables on them and you become the trap for them. As they come they get burned in the crucible of your body, awareness and consciousness. They are transformed by the strength of your intention and the total commitment to the ethical standards that you choose to exude.

This takes a supreme commitment on your part and may be the only reason you are even reading my words. You take the negative and force it by its contact with you to become positive. You change it. I have had to do this and it is effective. It takes commitment and practice, and a willingness to become a walking, talking, fountain of joy. Eager to change the aspects of expression for all who come into your sphere of influence. This includes your body and its environs.

For instance. Sometimes I would have entities of a dark or hurtful nature come to me and command me into the action of killing a person. An older person or a child or whomever. I wouldn’t do it. But upon awakening from this experience I would know that “This day I am to help an older person or a child or whomever”. In this way every hurtful intention or idea or plan or experience or feeling of illness was rewarded with a positive, intention based, balancing of that idea or experience or issue. In the physical real time.

Follow through is the most important action in this scenario. To take it from the astral to the physical makes the interfering entity part of a physically based plan of goodness and helpfulness and love. Many of the dark ones will not enjoy this and they leave. The good ones don’t invade you anyway so there is a balance and an increase of the vibrational expression that you give off. This in turn strengthens your field, which in turn makes it harder for entities to attach and so forth.

Add Kundalini to the crucible after you have stabilized it as a continuous and a solid expression of your life, twenty four seven, with action based experiences of reversals and you become very gifted and very strong. So this in and of itself may be the beginning of a school of activity for you. It’s not easy at first but becomes second nature with practice and follow through. – blessings –

Floating in Space 👾

No sorry I don’t have a pretty story of etherically floating space amount the beautiful stars. I wish. If I had to choose which delusion it would be that one. 

Essentially I am making timed notes of my experience. So over the last few days (always make sure it happens a few times before making a post) I have been seeing archon attachments to my arm. 

They are two dimensional (2D) blobs of dark light energy with a clear space ripple around it. To notice it, it is like seeing heat wave off a hot summer cement only still. I can move my arm and see the different facets or none at all because its 2D. Partially 3D since there is a few centimeters of depth. 

Anyways I know there are a few on each arm. Top of hand, maybe wrists, right below the elbow on the top part, and middle of my upper arm.

Since I have also seem markings in these areas like rashes, welts, burns, pin pricks. The markings have looked like some of the pictograms I have seen floating around the house. 

Many of the floating pictograms / enojis have stopped floating but again… NOW on/in my skin. 

Yesterday and today I have felt a floating sensation in my arms. Not like involuntary movement but something pressing inside. A slight nudge that sways me more one ways than the other. I feel each one. Its like having 50 chakras in my body. 

Also my heart center becomes heavy. I keep meditating and clearing it and it keeps coming back. 

I don’t like it. I want to get rid of it. 

I mean if the aliens can lift my fat ass up ….. Whatever. Maybe that’s why my body started gain weight. Oh body… All we needed to do was tie me to an anchor of love. 

🙏

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