The Matrix: Stick Figures

So another thing (among many) that I see with in this hell matrix that I am stuck in is at my friends house I see all these huge stick figures. Like heads with spines and then tripod foot. And I have seen them shoot off of each other as well. So one long “stick” or “spine” in the middle and then a small head on top and the two “arms” where it seems like arms would almost be. Maybe a little lower or in the middle. And and a small head on each of those sticks.

This feeds into something that I heard a while back that “reptilians travel in 3s” which may not be exactly true to the species but maybe to what is going on as most of us are only seeing in part.

Maybe I am seeing the bare bones of an entity before they can create a creature to scare anyone. And maybe these creatures are 3 parts to them. Idk I’m just thinking out loud. I was told I had 3 poltergeist on me before I knew anything was really going on for real. Just had a funny feeling like something wasn’t right. So I went to a psychic and she said I had 3 poltergeist 😳 cause my lights kept turning out and doing crazy stuff. Another woman a demonologist said my “spirit guide” pick up some new friends along the way. Some real assholes they are that is fo sho.

I have been more attacked at my best friends house like I was at my parents house in the beginning of all of this. They want me to run away like they wanted me to do at my parents. And it’s the same pattern. New look, new house same shpeel.

Of course they keep dangling the attack of my godson in my face. But that is not my choice that is theirs. And I won’t know if they are still attacking him is I am gone. They did they same thing with my sister when I saw them attacking my sister. Told me to kill myself or to run away and they won’t attack her anymore. And I was my sister caretaker during her stroke recovery. Same shpeel.

Either way. I think those stick figures accumulate other Astral parasite from the matrix and create a “light body” of sorts you can do a lot with it if you create it with the right geometry the right matrix. It becomes its own world. It’s where dreams are made. Illusions are created and eventually lies are told.

I wish the lie didn’t hurt this bad. But it does. It’s bad for the soul, the heart, the mind. 5 minutes of these astral demons playing around in our lives can cost us our lives.

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I Gave Up Everything 😞

So I think because the story of Job we are encouraged to just let things go when life is taking a nose dive into a hot concrete pavement.

I mean I let go my job which I loved, my relationships, friendships, all my possessions (cause I could no longer afford to have them in storage), my comfort, dreams for what I thought my life would be like, health, money (3k in spiritual services), beliefs, food, sex, even at one point stopped wearing jewelry, ……….. I honestly don’t know what more to give up. I know the voices wanted me to run away and be homeless AGAIN. And I’m not doing that. The main reason I didn’t run away was that my sister had a stroke and I needed to be there to help her otherwise I’m not sure what I would have done to try to make this voice and torture stop. But I gave a lot. And I’m done giving up everything. Short of my life (which they even asked me to commit suicide almost everyday and I attempted twice because of the child sex abuse visions).

And while I am all for Gods corrections at what point are we just allowing ourselves to just be tortured and misdirected by demons who want to present themselves as Gods or Authorities?

I made the intention to go back to school hopefully next year and so what I have been doing is studying “spirituality” in its different forms. Recently studying I tried to study the Zohar which is the study of the soul and Gods correction of the soul but the demons just like the Bible made it extremely difficult to read and study. Twisting concepts around. I have come to plateau with these demons. I know how they work. They say and do the same things over and over again. I see what they look like even if they look different. So more or less I see how they build on each other or connect to each other and me. So I’m pretty much done and annoyed. But more annoyed and a bit disheartened that I might not be able to finish school like I want to. I just don’t want to waste money or fuck up cause of this experience or be in class and them talking about how I want to fuck my teacher or classmates all day. Cause that is NOT how I think!

I have been waiting on this miracle, but I’m not sure to what extent I am suppose to step out and what part I’m suppose to wait. I’ve been laying in this bed for a good 2.5 years and I’m done. I’m as zen as I’m gonna get. I’m not a threat to anyone. Maybe myself if I don’t figure out how to get this demon out. Cause I KNOW it’s not schizophrenia…. I have photos proving it’s not…. it’s definitely an entity and it stalks me all day and never shuts up. Why it’s stalking me I don’t know, but I can’t say I’ve done anything to justify this torture. I’m not perfect, but shit man…… this is out of control.

So I guess I wanted to check myself on all that I have given up on thinking it would help me shake this demon and it hasn’t helped.

Taking these extremes have helped me in same ways uncover who these demons really are. No they weren’t my ex, or my coworkers as they pretended to be. No it wasn’t God (thank God for discernment). No this wasn’t schizophrenia because they were stupid enough to show up in my photos. And this wasn’t because I was a terrible person and deserved it, no different than like anyone else that is sick and deserved it. You can do everything right and still get sick.

So I still have a lot to sort through. But I while giving up everything DID uncover them…… I am starting to feel like I am only self harming and living a life of misery (which is what they want). It’s so weird being a happy depressed person. Like I still have optimism but like I wanna die cause I hate this experience and the pedo shit.

There are days I wake up in bed and the demon says it wants to have sex with me and of course I say NO and of course it molests me anyway. It will try hard to make me almost feel sleepy or drunk. And I will end up going back to sleep because my energy is zapped. Like that’s my fucking sad ass life. The pedo/ father shit didn’t start until I realized it wasn’t my ex ( false twin flame) and I started rejecting this demon. My life is SO fucking sad and lame. But I’m trying to remain hopeful. I guess it was my fault for thinking two people could love each other so much they could have telepathy. But it wasn’t my fault. I just didn’t know.

Womp womp!

Anyway!

Targeted Individuals: Twin Flame – The Ring

This is someone else’s post in a group I am in. Now I wanted to share this aspected because I have actually spoke to MANY women in the “schizophrenic” forum and some spiritual forums who said that they heard from the voices that “we are married”.

I even told my twin flame counselor that in felt like I was married to Satan ….. half jokenly because I was being tortured!

I wrote about this before in my blog search for “spirit husband” or “incubus” as I understood them at the time for this aspect.

The demon alien pretended to be telepathy with my ex (false) twin flame. And wanted time to be faithful until the “next lifetime”. I was guided to look at rings because he was talking about marriage or that we were married. So I was looking at promise rings. Before the demon alien would rape me it would ask me to put the ring on thinking it was my ex.

Once I realized for sure it was not my ex because the demon alien would not stop raping me no matter how much I begged. It would also suffocate me to the point I felt like I was going to pass out from a migraine.

Some may call it a spirit husband to be delivered from. This demon alien has evolved. Once I stopped the twin flame game and wanted the rape to stop it went straight into pedo shit and tried to force me to kill myself.

The game plan was to get me to kill myself regardless. Whether it was for my ex twin flame or pure pedo torture.

Whatever this aspect is I have caught on to their games and patterns. And I am glad people are not afraid to speak out. It’s just we are so divided on what is actually causing this. Government experiment? Corporate Gang stalkers? Spiritual warfare? Alien take over? Purely mental?

How can we all come up with the same thing? Same words? Same games? It’s sick! Ad now I gotta be labeled a schiz for the rest of my life and take their meds that can take 25 years off this miserable existence.

Don’t fall for those tricks! It is not your twin flame! Whatever it is! It is not real telepathy! I doubt you would hear them so loudly. This is not natural whatever it is and waaaay too many people are experiencing this fucked up aspect across the globe.

So did all the demons agree to play the same few games on this generation? To force them into suicide?

A man just jumped off the Brooklyn bridge today. 😥

God I really wish I knew what was going on! I hate not being able to help. All I can do is share my story and hopes people get on the discernment tip QUICK!

The New Age is simple works of the New World Cabal

Seven details from around the marker 20:00 to 40:00 how the New Age movent is actually infiltrated by the cabal that everyone thinks theybare fighting against. Its just another mass hoarding of people to control mass consciousness and ultimately beliefs and choices.

I figured this out when i came to the New Age movement when i was trying to find community and answers as to WHY i was being spiritually attacked. I was told to take a salt bath and picture white light. I was told i was “of the dark” and “lower vibrations” when i said this wmdidnt work. I first saw that many didnt want to talk about politics that effected many marginalized ccommunities because many didnt want their real belief systems which they had not unpacked to be out in the open. And an unwillingness to critique appropriation with in the New Age. But as of late seeing the New Age community infiltrated with white nationalist tones and the audacity to pin Trump as a whistle blower and not the pedo racist troll that he is did i really have my last straw with the New Age community.

Many might now have their eyes open as to how they are being brainwashed, but that shit doeant work on me. I try to maintain a balanced view as much as possible while wading through social politics and spiritual concepts. But I as i have stated before in my blog im starting to feel real lonely as i see the ways in which mass consciousness is being manipulated. It is both a logical and intuitive look at our culture. At times it atarts as an intutive feeling and then a logical computing of many occurances, but again i often feel alone in my sentiments. It was refreshing to have seven echoe some of what i have been feeling about the New Age but did not have the language or knowlege to really speak about it from an informed place.

Maybe that is why i am a targeted individual, the demonic voices said “pick something anything!” Because i was looking at this experience of being spiritually attacked from many cultural perspective, but i didnt lock into one mode of belief system and they needed that in order to find the ways in which they would torture me. First they tortured me through the New Age Twin Flame then is was Christian Hell matrix on earth. So they switched it up real quick.

I will keep observing the bullshit and trying to bring light to it.

Watch the clip its only 20 minutes.

So I am just out here with my faith, my experience, a bit of resentment and no where to go.

Just out here seeking actual truth.

Twin Flame: Astral Sex

Someone came to my blog by seaching for “astral sex with twin flame” i guess i wanted to make it clear as someone who can see, feel and hear the astral. As someone who has been through the “twin flame game”, anything you mess with in the astral is NOT your twin flame. They are entities. A large entity made up if smaller entity of the groteque manner. They can use light in the imagination/dream state to make you THINK it’s a specific person, they can mimick voices, they can even tell the future by influencing it. But they are not that person. It is an entity, a nice broader word for alien or demon. At best they maybe attachedto your twin flame or just became attached to you if you were looking for your twin flame to harvest sexual energy from you.

You give them an inch and they will take over your life!

They would force me to orgasm as i would wake up making me think my ex (so called twin flame) was try to please me. It felt real. It felt like he was holding my hand sometimes. He wasnt. It is not him or his higher self. It is complete entity play. It is rape (if they are impostering a human twin flame).

I don’t want to incite fear into anyone. And belueve me i would rather have the daydream. But i feel it is my duty to let people know at least my truth…… Because eventually the entities were trying to make me so depressed about my twin flame they were trying to force me into suicide saying we would be together my next life time. Yes! These entities impersonated my ex saying we will be together next life time and i should kill myself!

Only reason i ever attempted was because once i stopped believing the twin flame thing the entities stopped impostering my ex and then started showing me sick visions of child abuse and i wanted to die.

Whatever these entities are at the end of the day they are gross liars. So dont fall for the tricks.

Is the concept of “Divine Feminine” just a part of new age “Respectability Politics”?

Honestly everyone has this very Puritain Christian idea of what the Divine Feminine is …… that we sit her and purge (receive and suffer) for the divine male counterpart. I feel like this feeds into the idea that woman must suffer in order to be loved & respected by their male counterpart as ultimately God.

Many of the goddesses and archetypes that don’t fit into the “Divine Feminine” story being pushed are often women who went against the grain, had more than one lover, the idea of the “harlot” as if the “harlot” is not divine or respectable.

Again another way in which New Age is mimicking much of the remixed Christian views with a Guru model.

Humans as Energetic Crypto Currency

I was reading the article “reversals produce loosh” by Lisa Renee and I immediately saw myself as a crypto currency machine.

A few times I have heard the voices talk about money, seemingly asking another entity for money when accessing me. I also heard something about a “shop”.

Loose is basically energy harvested from animals usually through torture. This makes me wonder if this is why sacrifices (human or animal) of any kind were usually apart of rituals or offerings. THE LOOSH!

While I’m not currently a practicing vegan anymore I know I want to go back. One thing that I never understood in the Bible is why God would want us to kill or sacrifice one of his creations in such away. That the smell of burning flesh pleased God. Which is why I often wonder if the Bible sometimes confused God for one the low level asshole looser astral Entities. Sac religious I know. Forgive my ignorance I just go with what is i my heart and what is here in this reality and they conflict …… a lot.

So I had the unfortunate pleasure of seeing into “the astral” which is basically hell and I saw books and boxes of tool and coverings of sort. One of the boxes I saw was a tool that looked like a long horned trumpet. I saw the Entities (many at one point) use these trumpets to either suck energy from me it seemed. I wondered if these supplies we made also out of my loosh. I also saw clothing that looked like Casper the friendly ghost and the box (which looked like a small casket) which it came in. With out the covering the smaller entities look like skeletons of some kind. I’ve also seen masks and those smaller entities conglomerate into a larger one.

So I wondered if I am like their personal crypto harvesting bank of energy. Because it works more like crypto and less like employment and a bank etc. And they habitually abuse me through pain or emotional turmoil of gross stuff (which I mentioned in my blog numerous times). I can tell you I don’t have much left. I sure feel wasted.

I never wanted to encounter the astral it just happened. And what I saw was during when I was trying to figure out what was happening to me. And I hoping this is just another layer of the lie…… the illusion.

The really sucked the fun out of life. Seeing all of this. Just makes life really Bleh.

Decolonizing Socio Political Spirituality

“The personal is political, the political is personal”

As i wade through the “spiritual” community i have tried to keep an open mind that other wont share the same views or experience as mine. That i was entering a vast arena with people from all backgrounds but our main common thread is spiritual growth.

And while i have been able to keep my cool in most discourse as they crop up, i have found myself feeling more and more isolated from the “spiritual community” due to socio political differences or ignorance.

One of the main and most recent happenings that has boggled my mind is this exaltation of Trump as a “whistle blower on the Illuminati” or elite pedos….. in the spiritual community, which i am still trying to figure out HOW. It is absolutely ridiculous. Anyone who supports Trump supports poor moral judgement and dare i say white supremacy. While many feel that it is freedom speech, this human has gone on to make fun of the Disabled, Women, Native Americans (calling warren pocohantas), and people of color openly at his rallies. I see him more as a bully than i have seen any other president in my life. But more so, it is his history and policies that scare me the most as he creeps into the “spiritual community” as some savior, which is clearly a tactic by conservatives.

Let us not forget that his father was associated with KKK in a riot that broke out in Jamaica Queens in 1927. Also in 1989 Trump took out an $85,000 Ad calling for the death penalty following the Central Park 5 case in which 5 young black and latino boys where forced into admitting a rape they never committed. But in April of 2016 Trump was also brought child sex allegations that fell on deaf ears and who later retracted her case because there were severe threats on her life. Now three years later there are “spiritual” and conspiracy blogs trying to paint Trump as a whistle blower on the elite pedophiles. I am really confused. To me if he is blowing any whistles it is only to save his own ass and to separate himself from Epsteine who he was close friends with.

However Trumps administrations handling of immigrants here in America is deplorable alone. Children in cages, loosing 1,500 children, Over 4,000 children reported being sexually assaulted in the ICE detention camps and the round up of ALL undocumented immigrants which apparently began Sunday and will create fear with in many communities. If the administration did not have the infrastructure to properly handle immigration in such “a hands on” manner, they should not have separated children from their families until there was structure and employees in place to handle immigration at this magnitude. This isn’t about being a democrat and republican to me. This is about what is right….. and how things have been handled has not aired on the side of right TO ME.

I just watched an ICE rally and all of the Trump supporters trolled the comments echoing Trumps statements and telling people to “Go Home” “If you don’t like it here leave” …….. Why if i don’t agree with a policy my only option is to leave my country of origin? Is that not what democracy is about? Trump knows exactly what he is doing! Trump has not empowered the American people but has debased them to their lowest selves and lowest common denominator ….. Hate and fear. The racists are prompted by the trigger words that Trump uses. It’s like a tick in their brains. They are like small children repeating what they hear. They have no real analysis on the issues, just racist rhetoric and trigger words spewed by Trump. It almost makes me want to cry to see what we have been reduced to because the president has set the standard of our country.

It actually breaks my heart to see racist belligerently yelling at immigrants and people of color and telling them to go back to where they came from. Because from a spiritual perspective these individuals are not acting as their best and highest selves. They have demons inside of them that hates …. And they are feeding them fully with in this administrative term.

Moving along from Trump cause honestly i could go all day. Another big issue that i have seen in the spiritual community is blatant Homophobia and Transphobia. I all too often had to swallow my pride reading some of the homophobia that is circulated on facebook. I am not going to battle every single homophobe, i don’t have that type of energy to waste however i will unfollow, not support, and move on with my life. I had a few “spiritual” friends who would post anti-lgbt misinformation. Like one video where they were connecting LGBT to pedos (which is what they have always done as a fear tactic) because one school wanted to teach LGBT history in it’s curriculum . LGBT people are not pedos, that is like saying all LGBT are rapists. Pedos are rapists of children, it is not a sexual orientation between two contenting adults. Thats one and two, many carry their conservative Christian beliefs around sex, gender and orientation and some how wrap it in New Age language further isolating those who do not identify as cis heterosexual people. It wasn’t until i watched this video on Higher Self (a spiritual youtube channel), did i have enough. That particular channels is suppose to be talking about aliens and spirits and energy updates and for whatever reason they allowed this 30 minute rants about how transgender isn’t a real thing and they are just confused people.

What people don’t understand is that they have the privilege of not having to think twice about post like these. It does not hurt them or their immediate communities. However these sentiments being spewed on whatever forum or platform is the same sentiments that allowed for 1 trans person killed per day in 2017. If you are spewing this type of hatred then you are a part of the problem and are co-conspirators in the death of innocent trans peoples lives. It is really that simple.

I am already exhausted.

I think the one major issue that no one really wants to touch, is race here in America. All too often any time a major racial charged conflict come to light in America, I hear the spiritual conspiracy theorist start talking about “false flags” and all this nonsense. No one wants to claim their ancestors deeds and no one wants to claim their privilege that they benefit from and that is one the major reckonings here in America. Any time someone starts talking about race some spiritual person comes in and starts talking about how “oh this is a false race war being created” or “people need to stop being victims” “slavery is over, I’m not a slave owner” “that is “reverse racism”” these are just SOME of the nonsense i hear and commentary used to silence black and brown people from analyzing in public forums and speaking out about the pain of their experience here in America.

Slavery and soon to be the policies around the prison industrial complex is a major demon that ALL of America has to face. People want to look to the future but don’t want to see all the ways in which our present is being shaped by our past. Much of the prison system is a form a modern day slavery, and we know for a fact the black and brown people are arrested and sentenced at a disproportionate rate. We have in NYC policies like the “Stop and Frisk” in which officers where told to racially profile in specific black and brown neighborhoods to meet daily quotas. This is just one example of the many ways in which black and brown people experience real racism and systemic racism here in America. This isn’t made up, a false flag, someone just trying to play victim. Communities of color face many forms of police brutality (which stems from the civil rights era when the police would use excessive force like water hoses and dogs) and you want to say “All lives matter”, but never show up when its an innocent black person dead at the hands of the cops. And when Black Lives Matter was created, it was created to say STOP KILLING US! But for some reason BML became a threat because their platform was so vast and gained support of celebrities and politicians alike. Now the racists or covert racists want to believe that the Democratic party is garnering hatred for cis white heterosexual males, instead of understanding it an an analysis of their history of violence here in America (world?).

The fact that most “spiritual” people don’t have to, or choose not to think about these things is a privilege. Their communities aren’t being devastated. Their people aren’t being harassed or murdered by hatred. And I think about this every day. The lives that were lost for merely existing. If your spirituality excludes actual history and analysis and includes hatred or blissful ignorance, count me the fuck out. And that is what privilege is. It is not your experience, it is not in your face everyday so you don’t have think about it everyday, you just benefit from the fact that these isms exist. Everything is catered to you. You don’t have to carve space out in a the “spiritual” community, or defend vulnerable/ marginalized communities that are suffering at the hands of racism, homophobia, xenophobia and ablism on a daily basis.

And what kills me is that our history has been sooooo white washed that Jesus and Nefertiti who are of African blood are apparently white now. Much of the spiritual community gets to pick and choose what they like from other ethnic groups while not really giving a fuck about that particular community. Spiritual appropriation is a real thing. And honestly I believe we need to Decolonize Spirituality.

What does Decolonizing Spirituality look like?

Glad you asked! An understanding and appreciation for indigenous people culture and healing practices with out using the Wellness Guru Model to profit off of it for white consumption.

Decolonize “Inspirational Meme Culture” which makes me want to vomit a little bit, understanding that putting some “inspirational quote” next to a half naked white woman in a traditional Native American head dress in some forest IS NOT SPIRITUAL. Not because she is half naked but because that quote and that image are two very separate things. The image is one of appropriation, and is disrespectful to indigenous culture.

If you want to act like you care about black and brown people supporting environmental factors that effect black and brown people…… i don’t know say something as simple as WATER. We can all agree that water is a basic human right, right?

Creating new healing modalities that address racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia and ableism with in the spiritual communities. Anti-racism work IS apart of healing, for all of us. Understanding the ways in which we perpetuate racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia and ableism and ways we can dismantle that, is in fact spiritual growth. The longer we allow it to fester, too afraid to touch it because we think love and light is enough, the bigger of a monster we will have to defeat, and the beast is pretty damn big already.

We need to embody our highest selves and fighting for the liberation and rights of all people is in fact a spiritual process. Caring for the safety regardless of sex, gender, race, orientation or creed of all people is the highest form of empathy. Unless we can do this, look outside of our own experience, then love nor light will help us and the evil ones will prevail in keeping us divided.

We are here to brake the chains of for ancestors and at the same time create a BETTER world for the future generations. If we simply think that love and light (thoughts and prayers) will save us and not deep analysis along with structural change we will never meet the healing that is waiting for us as a generation.

Who am I? What Am I?

I spent all morning racking my brain around, WHAT and WHO exactly am I in this “menagerie” of Entities and beings floating around me and my house.

These beings are starting to cover my own face to the point in a EMF photo you can barely see my actual face. (Again if you want to see you can just ask but those particular photos were scary so I won’t post them till I understand them better).

I feel like if you aren’t careful any being will come in and tell you who and what you are, just feeding yet ANOTHER matrix of lies to crawl out of. I don’t mind observing possibilities of truth, but I’m not taking anything for absolute truth just yet.

So you’ve seen it…… the memes that say we “are the light, be the light.”, that we “need to look INSIDE ourselves for the truth” all these riddles when we could just say hey this is what’s up. Either way…… how exactly am I suppose to look at myself physically or with in?

This part is kind of confusing me. I’ve worked on my mental A LOT and my emotional and while I might be 100% compared to where I was 3 years ago I did THE WORK while getting my ass rapped and beat my Entities.

I guess because I was/am assaulted by Entities there is a part of me that wants to just jump out of my body and handle them properly.

But also this all came from realizing how the have high jacked my imagination/ 3rd eye vision and my dreams. I’m my dreams I realized that it wasn’t mean driving or creating the dreams it was them. One of the Entities even was so bold to draw a simple drawing of who he was driving my dream, he was also trying to write but was having difficulty. I was only the observer. But how? Why? Very few of my dreams make sense now. They are mundane or just …. fast pace…. overall weird…. and I dream ALLL THE TIME. So it’s more like a place for them to play or live and act out and less likely my own consciousness. They are looney that is the best way I can describe it.

So as the observer and I can control this body 95% I say that because they can jolt my body and make it shiver, burn, be in pain etc and on rare occasions moved a limb, a toe or a pinkie. They can make me feel but they can not make me move with out a strong suggestion that I agree to. Say going to smoke a cigarette.

But how do I find that light with in? Truly? Not some illusion set up by the Entities.

Why in a photo I can see them but I can’t see myself (spiritually)? Am I locked in this body? Which is fine why is that these other beings can come and go as they please? And hurt my body?

I have so many question? And I again just don’t know where to go for answers. Or if those answers will suffice.

Part of healing to for me is deconstructing how and why we suffer. Critique it, trying to make it better for the next person. I take what I learned in 3D about healing and apply it spiritual. I have the option to wait on Gods grace (and the assumption) do nothing about my situation or I can be an active part in my healing and try to break this shit down not just for me but for others that feel like they are loosing it because of this odd experience.

I doubt any one reads this crap but lol if you have any good books or articles or methods to understand this better let me know.

❤️🙏🏼❤️