What I see: Eye Closed

I’ve had about 3 people I know astral project to me. More if there are people I don’t know about.

This has taken a great deal of time to observe. I can see souls. Souls are pure light and formless, from what I can see. I have seen souls with different hues. Blue, yellow, green, I have seen so far. But it’s still not like color is the first thing I notice. It’s usually an after thought.

I had a couple AP to me and they gave me a “astral hug” lol. I could see them, the only thing was I could only see the light of their souls from behind a curtain of entity faces. It was really odd. This wasn’t the first time this happened but this was the first time it all clicked cause I didn’t know what I was looking at and was afraid if everything.

What I DONT get is I can see the light of others souls but I can’t see the light of my own.

I’m open to being wrong but I mean this is what I observed over maybe 3 years so far. And it’s only happened a handful of times where I invited someone to Astral Project to me.

I feel like all these entities this infestation is trying to keep me from APing. I don’t even really want to AP. Like am I crazy for wanting to change the matrix? Inside and not escape it? I could have been paradise. But ……. now even the spiritual people have lost it. Plus I really like cookies.

Idk this is really an annoying process. And no the voice has not gone away.

Frustration Level: Level Up

I’m super frustrated right now with where things are at. Helpless at times. The world feels out of control but there is beauty in resistance. There is quiet in the stillness we had for a moment.

While the world turns, I’m still concerned about my own situation. What is going on.

I went to one healer who said I worse off than I was before. And it’s strange because things have gotten….. quieter. The voices aren’t as loud as they use to be which helps me not feel completely brain dead. Also the attacks are……. still happening but softer? I can still feel the smaller entities attached to the side of my eyes, spine, vagina and other parts of my body.

I sat in observation of the entities (demonic aliens whatever) and saw how they used light waves, electromagnetic fields….. observed their mental games…. how they move which I detail in this blog.

Yet I still don’t know where they come from, why they are harassing me (and others), how to stop it or use it to my advantage. It’s really frustrating to be honest.

No healer (and I have been to many) has been able to move this thing or give advice of how to do it myself.

And I actually laid down my cards and figured let me live life and go to school, try to find a boo piece and just live, and hopefully whatever needs to reveal itself next levels will just happen naturally.

But that is not happening. More so I am learning to cope or somewhat live with thus attachment and that is NOT my goal.

I’m frustrated because especially with the healers, I feel like child that the adults don’t want to tell the truth to. Or there is sone big secret I can’t be in on.

But I have to remember while this experience opened my eyes, it is NOT enlightenment. This is an attack on my soul, body, mind, spirit.

Like I’ve tried the whole raise my vibration. And all I can do is be real. Like I got attacked working on a non profit farm exercising everyday, it has nothing to do with that. Of course the body might feel better, but who is to say they won’t attack me to the point I can’t move again if I lose weight. Or go vegan again.

And on the topic of physicality I know that these entities are the ones causing the sciatica. I know it! They hit all the nervous system. The brain, the heart, the vagina now its my lower spine and with sciatica.

I want to be all the way normal again or I want to morph into a metaphysical super hero so I can kick these entities asses. It’s so frustrating.

And I see how they fuck with people who are unaware of them ….. but I can’t say anything because then I will look crazier than I am.

Godless World

So I believe in God. I want to believe in something better than me or my situation. But currently I feel like we live in a Godless world. And it just a bunch of entities playing make believe.

I see no evidence of God being here. Just the fact that evil exist. And if evil exist there must be good. And when I’m talking about evil, I’m talking about something greater than human. What drives some humans to be evil.

All I see is evil. Scary monster faces saying the most vile things. And I just don’t get it.

I believe in God and Good. I just don’t see it anywhere spiritually in my life or reality.

Aboriginal Entities

These are Aboriginal Entities deemed as Sky Gods. I was watching ancient aliens season 11 episode 7 and noticed there was a similarity between my drawings from 2017 to these Sky Gods draw on the caves in Australia. It’s mainly the eyes. Apparently the Aboriginal go into a dream time state which would be considered the Astral Plane.

There is emphasis on the head and not the body which I noticed too with these entities. I only saw the body once and assumed it was the same one and kind of Phillies in the details. But the eyes!!!

This is an alien dude I caught on camera. It’s the easiest to see.

Either way I though it was interesting. I don’t know why I would be seeing aboriginal entities. Or how it all relates to much. These entities are TERRIBLE to me. I wish it was a wonderful magical connection, but it’s not. Once I stopped playing it’s game it got vicious. Much of which I documented in this blog.

Comment your thoughts.

Divine Masculine and Feminine (Twin Flame Mythologies)

Real Question: what is divine about being in love with/having a sexual relationship with you brother or sister?

Osiris and Isis were bro and sis and Adam and Eve were pretty much related. So what is so divine about that? Incest really? 🤢

Dudes we gonna have to do better then that.

I though soulmates were suppose to only manifest as your family members and friends. Not a twin flame, and yet here we are glorifying these two examples. Idk.

Twin flame and all this divine stuff (among A LOT OF OTHER THINGS) just all seem fishies. 🐠

Twin Flame: Is You!

So I let go of this twin flame concept. Right? I had a “false twin flame” experience that led me to a INSANE spiritual attack.

So I was thinking since we all have “divine masculine and feminine” energy/aspects. Wonder is if we are our own twin flame. That the twins are inside us.

By projecting this idea of undying love on to someone we may be attracted to we only hurt ourselves. The love and attraction must be settled with in us first.

Now I personally have not been able to see our divine masculine and feminine light bodies or energy because I am under spiritual warfare. But I hear a lot of people talk about this. I only see astral demons lol. That’s my life right now 🤷🏻‍♀️

However the pain that comes with projecting that love, lust, pain, heart ache on to someone else is ALOT! I was told by both a twin flame healer and the astral entity voices that pretended to be my ex’s voice that I could get my false twin flame back. And that fucked me up. It took honestly working on myself and my own wounds to realize I didn’t want him and something else was going on.

While I might have bugged out. He hurt me in ways I was not prepared for. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t full want me as I am?

That’s just me. I hope that others that have been through the twin flame wringer find peace and reconciliation.

Just thinking out loud.

5G and Etheric Entities

So there is this video going around on Facebook saying that 5G is causing Covid19. Now I will say radiation will make you sick. Even when we had huge solar flare when the sun would shoot radiation to the earth I would know because I would get sick. Having a weakened immune system I get it. But 5G is NOT what is causing this virus to spread. We have had plagues and diseases happen since forever. So we must be balances and logical about this.

Walk on the wild side with me for a little bit while I go into my own conspiracy theory about 5G.

Now I will say 5G and any frequency wave that includes radio all have something connected to the etheric astral 4D realms whatever you want to call it.

To me Radio frequencies are no different than 5G. Logically. It’s a frequency being dispersed and used.

So 5G is at about 40watt and microwave oven is at about 600watts. I think the only difference is that we are not constantly swimming in it and security/privacy issues.

I’m not an expert. I’m just talking off the dome. From my observation after being demonically attacked is that they work on these different wave lengths. And they are out here acting like people’s twin flames, dead grandpas, arch angels, Jesus, God, Satan himself, reptilians, aliens, ghosts, higher selves, past lives and god knows what else. The Bible says even Gods elect will be deceived. Many of us what the feeling of an earthly supernatural feeling that we are down forget how and why we serve and why we are here.

Much of the “spiritual community” has been divided and conquered. Between capitalist intent, to misinformation to alienating those that aren’t “high vibes”, to just enabling insanity. Mimicking the religions we have critique all too often.

Well Christianity killed people. Well this misinformation is killing people spiritually if not driving people into insanity or suicide.

I KNOW talking about demonic entities is crazy! But I feel the need to at least speak out to those that battle them physically in this 3D world. That they are not alone and that because we have this deep experience we can be agents of God. Not in a magical light worker way. But in a real way. In a daily way. Humble servants bringing the light which is the word of God to say we can get through this. Because it says so.

We have generations ahead of us. And either we are going to equip them with the knowledge and word to actually combat this shit (for free) or throw them to the wolves to end up feeling like we felt. Alone. Abandoned. Empty. Scared out of our minds. Suicidal.

And it is natural to have these moments but to LIVE in those moments is not. Because that is not why God created us.

We need discernment now more than ever.

I study these demons as a contrast to God. That is what I see, everyday. I know if they exist something greater and good exist.

I try explain these demonic entities work on a matrix of light spectrum that hold a electromagnetic field and thus a level of radiation and that radiation HURTS (if you know you know), many targeted individuals will speak about it but understand it as government or cooperation satellites. That people (demonic entities) are connected to them through remote neural monitoring.

The radiation and pressure of these entities really do hurt and “brings down your vibration” or immune system. I had not gotten sick in a decade until I got “schizophrenia” or attacked by these demonic entities. Then I got sick every year. Getting worse every year. And I would randomly spew vomit and I got high blood pressure and nerve issues. It breaks down the body. It physically hurts. It’s not just seeing and hearing these entities or trying to convince of their lies.

We MUST stop believing their lies. Detach from our need for a cool experience and stop spreading lies that are harming people for eternity.

That simple.

Morning Spiritual/Astral Rape

I woke up this morning being astrally raped. The way I know it’s not my subconscious mind is that these being take over my dream state and I made such a big fuss about the raping me in my waking and dream life that they have tried to move to raping me and making it seem as though I am masterbating in my dreams. REALLY!? I feel all of it, and since they are nasty fucks they wanna make it seem like it’s me. It’s not. Rape is rape whether you show a visual simulation of me masturbating in my dreams or not.

And they still do the pedo shit.

I heard one of them say something about they are doing this ethically and not lethal which could be them just repeating stuff from a target individual group, but there is nothing ethical about what they are doing. They want me to know it’s a rape dream they want to rape. Otherwise it would be pretty simple to have me live my life think it was all sex dreams which I never had in my life until now.

I fucking hate these entities. God said we suppose to forgive these entities are just sick. Please someone put them out of their misery.

I’m tired of talking about astral rape. I’m tired of getting raped. Them replaying traumas in my mind. Pedo 💩🤢🤢🤢🤢. Incest 🤢🤢🤢. Physical pain. Like over it. This is how I am suppose to start my day?

I just told my best friend that I really hate rapist. And that since my rape over the last 4 years I wake up to being raped by some entity every other morning if not through out the day. And it sucks.

There has been no progression in my case really. Nothing. Just a stand still.

East River NYC: Entity in the East River: How I see Entities

So I see entities a number of different ways. One way is in a dream state, the other is vision, which is very similar to recalling in the imagination, but forced in the mind. The next is if they are feeling BOLD it would be considered a hallucination or an apparition. So actually seeing an outline of these Entities just randomly in my living room or bedroom. As a side note they tend to stay in the same thing places. They don’t move a that much unless attached or seen.

Most often I see their watery outline. Or I see a smoke like line move through space. Or sparkles if I am looking it’s way randomly.

Most attribute sparkles to Angels and I have not found this to be the case. I have found this to be entities of whatever sort, connecting to or getting closer to you. That’s how they move. If you see a sparkle I think it’s an entity getting closer to you.

Now another way I see them is through what I call patterning. It’s difficult to explain because I’m still kinda understanding it. But against pattern be it in nature or in this city skyline I can see them as well.

The most recent occurrence would be a perfect example. So I take a cab home usually after taking care of my godson. The Uber goes up the FDR on the East Side of Manhattan. For a couple of weeks I have seen entities “patterned” against the LARGE skyline of Brooklyn but found it to be Queens later. I explain my experience HERE.

Basically I saw the entities face against the sky line and the a blue light dropped out of the sky. It was SUPER ODD! And even the voice/ entity that harassed me said “OH SHIT!” when I saw it. They are dramatic so I take that aspect with a grain of salt. But they looked similar to the entities that where harassing me. I calmly observed. Some nights I saw them in THE SAME AREA, which is where the Pepsi sign is in Queens. Some nights I didn’t but mostly I did.

Now I said since I give no fucks nowadays that I was going to go over there and see what’s going on energetically. And then you know what happened today? Lol they moved to Brooklyn. Lol so I saw the pattering against the night skyline in lower part of the East River.

Are they scared of me going over there? Why move? They act buck wild most days.

I’m not going to chase these demonic alien bobble spiders heads all over NYC but they can kindly get the fuck up out my city and my life.

If anyone does energy work or matrix work definitely check the East River or edges of NYC. HUGE entities over there.

Imma snitch fuck em. 🖕🏽

Update: It near Grand Ferry Park in Brooklyn.

New Age Healing Trap

So over the last few months I have been to healers. And I was REALLY HOPING they could help me with my situation. I mean they can see the astral or matrix and beyond what I can see remotely.

See I see the astral right in front of me. I can see it physically in the 3D world on people. Not remotely or long distance. I see the astral all around me. Connected to people, places (building/parks) and thing (cars, things in home etc). So I don’t know how it works for someone who can remotely view.

However I need help. and while I want to wait on God, the nature/subject of my spiritual attacks and the pain, makes me feel like I have to try everything in my my means to make it stop.

I have an alien looking demon octopus spider thing that is “spiritually” or better “psychically” attacking new through the astral/matrix both mentally (non stop fucking talking) , emotionally (instilling false emotions) and physically (migraines, sparks of lights and shadows, back pain etc). Now this thing calls me a “child molester” all day. And will even describe the molestation of kids in my life in some way. After it describes it or says something it will then go on to molest/rape me! And I’m not a fucking child molester and it’s gross 🤢🤢🤢🤢 and no one wants to hear about no kids stuff. It’s so terrible.

One of my “love and light” new age light worker friends went so far as to say “maybe I was in a past life”, like fuck OUT OF HERE! So she fashions herself as Skemet or Isis reincarnated, but I’m a child molester? She (like many others) had them call her one too, just not as much as I have. Does she think SHE was a child molester? Then she said it must be a generational curse from my bloodline.

Imma need y’all new Agers to puck a story and stick to it.

I know that I think child molesters are the worse thing in the world. And my best friend has actually worked with me on having some compassion for them because many were molested too and they are probably suffering spiritually because of these mast bobble head alien demon fucks. And I think because it is a childhood fear and I want to protect children (I said this since I was a child), it’s easy to attack me saying I’m the very opposite of who I know myself to be. And I think because of this attack the need to spectate myself from someone like that it is easy to lack compassion for them because I am being attacked.

Think about it. Someone who is not gay, the alien demon calling them gay or homosexual, and then because they are being attacked they over compensate by having hatred towards gay people. Either taking it to the extent they actually hate or harm a gay person.

Granted child molesters are 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢. But they are sick. I’m not sure if they can be reformed but I can still have compassion for them as possible victims while still hating their actions.

I aim my hatred correctly. These demon alien things are fucked up and gross rapists!


I went to healers in desperation. I figured they know more than I about this dark side. Light workers kept calling me “of the dark” when I would beg for information on my situation. I could not understand why I was of the dark when most of my life has been to serve people of my community I gave over 15 years of service. Try to find the flow of God, to make my God and my parents proud of me since I was a fuck up in my teen years. And now I’m just a schizophrenic loser who sleeps all day because I can deal with the pain of entity attacks or listening to these rambling demon aliens idiots all day.

So you gave these healers my money. Hoping for healing or a reasonable reason this was happening. A magician told me that my spirit was a truth teller taking night classes in hell to get over fear. Oooooookay. The that my friend paid for said that I was in a room full that looked like a ball from the 29s dimly lit and a Chimera came in and said he was going to protect me (my sciatica felt ok for a day before coming back).

The latest that I paid for said I had a spider on my back and removed it. My sciatica help so much better and I felt lighter walking, however the migraines came back so my guess is that the spider just moved to the top of my head at that time.

The latest healer said that the “male part of my spirit” feels hopeless and that no one can save him and that anything she does will not work. 🤔🙄 Then she offered me to talk to her husband who does this work and that it will be “life changing”. Soon as I stopped talking to her after a week the sciatic came back.

Anything I do is to get rid of these nasty entities that are attacking my mind and body. My life.

I feel so alone now. That last healer was my final dig at trying to get help. To maybe someone understanding me. I really don’t have money to waste like that. If the healer can not permanently remove an entity then they are not healing. I’m tired of excuses. And I have done a lot of work to aid this process.

And I am suppose to wait on the grace of God while these demons rape me? It doesn’t make sense. I’m suppose to have a relationship with God when I do t feel like God is here? Isn’t that a little crazy? Like how? When there is prof he is not here with me? How many times must I repent? Account?

I want my mind and body back. Simple. I want these nasty demons removed and protection. That’s it. Seriously these demons are HEAVY. They have weight energetically. It’s not easy or fun.

Ever have a day where you are walking through your normal routine and it just feels hard to walk or like you walking through water or lag? That’s what most days feel like for me.

I know a lot of people are learning. But I don’t think I should be giving so much money for people who are learning about this shit. And they should have advanced people they trust to refer you to. Just over this bullshit. If I was a healer my main concern is protecting our people and giving knowledge as to what is happening to us. Donation passed. Seriously if any of these healers got rid of these nasty fuckers I would be more than generous. Guess I gotta really go at this alone, God is not here, Jesus isn’t here, these healers care about the coins, and I am over it.