Sounds of the Entity

So ….. I have a bunch of recordings where I scanned my body or areas around me intuitively. Usually it was were the Entity hurts me the most.

Ears, top of head, and yes vagina. 

Yes I recorded my vagina. πŸ˜”

And the sound of the Entity is 3D… The material world… Sounds like a electro static frog cricket thing. 

A few times I caught it sounding like me (and I didn’t speak), or my ex …. nothing as eleborated as it does in my mind. But for the most part that’s what it does.

So if you are curious record the areas that you feel are being affected and see what you hear. 

I did it with my phone. 

It doesn’t help with understanding what it is.

But I am assuming that with out my mind, life or identity…. It only sounds like and electro-frog thing.

That’s all. 

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Trying not to loose faith.Β 

I believe ing God. 

I try to keep.it simple as this world tried to figure out God and the mysteries of what we are in the middle of. 

But. 

Left alone to this Entities will….. 

I feel like no one has heard my call. 

And I just don’t know.

I try to over look it because I know this entity wants me to loose faith in anything I have ever loved. 

But I still…. 

Just don’t know. 

Keeping the faith. 

3:00 AM AwakeningΒ 

Circadian Rhythm : “Daytime sleep will not compensate for loss of nightly ‘beauty sleep’ as the energy needed for tissue repair is not available during daylight because it is being used elsewhere.” As stated in this one article 

Melatonin is another hormone produced to help us sleep. Secreted by the pineal gland deep in the brain, it helps control body rhythms and sleep-wake cycles.Levels of melatonin rise as the body temperature falls, to encourage feelings of sleepiness. The opposite occurs to wake us up.

In one article they talk about HGH being released during stage 3 sleep. 

Human growth hormone promotes a healthy metabolism, enhances your physical performance, and may even help you live longer.

In normal healthy people, the major period of HGH release occurs during the first period of Stage 3 sleep stage during the night, about an hour after you first fall asleep. Stage 3, also known as deep sleep or slow wave sleep, accounts for about one-quarter of your sleep each night. Deep sleep is the most restorative all stages of sleep. During this stage of sleep, HGH is released and works to restore and rebuild your body and muscles from the stresses of the day.

Stage 3 Sleep

“There are 5 stages to sleep. 1-4 is non REM and REM is what we know as dream state. The body goes though about 4 to 5 cycles (of stages 1-4 + REM) at night. The first sleep cycle takes about 90 minutes. After that, they average between 100 to 120 minutes.

Stages 3 and 4 are referred to as deep sleep, slow wave sleep, or delta sleep. It is very difficult to wake someone from them. In deep sleep, there is no eye movement or muscle activity.

Deep sleep reduces your sleep drive, and provides the most restorative sleep of all the sleep stages. During deep sleep, human growth hormone is released and restores your body and muscles from the stresses of the day. Your immune system restores itself. Much less is known about deep sleep than REM sleep.”

Holistic Tips on Sleeping

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So what’s up with awakening and actually awakening you at 3am in the morning?!

So this was sparked for me because this mudda fuka entity keeps waking me up and shits annoying AF!

Again like in the spiritual communities everyone is like “oh if you wake up at 3am all the time means your spirit guides are trying to contact you.” “Oh 3am is a highly spiritual time”. 

Yea, well your bodiless “spirit guide ” picked the wrong time of day to be honest.

I was originally looking for an article that spoke about the hours between 11pm – 5am being the most important for repairing and rejuvenating the body. I assume that deep sleep along with the release of hormones, the body is able to do its thing properly. 

So these spirit entity whatever waking your ass up in the middle of the night so they can say BOO! Is not beneficial to you. You are being cut short of your time to rejuvenate the body and heal. Like if its a “hey how ya doing! I’m gonna look at your record collection over here” cool….  But if this constant haunting of 3:00 am is occurring then all the best. 

Some people are into it. 

I’m not one of them. 

This Entity over here saying that because it keeps randomly waking me up out of my sleep for no reason that “this is why you will never be a mom”. Shit doesn’t add up or make sense. Like if its a kid its a kid. Or even my sister. But this asshole waking me up for no reason other than to call me a fat bitch all day ain’t my cup of tea. 

Fuck 3am too! 

Sleep patterns

So the entity won’t let me sleep for more than 1 to MAYBE 2 hours at a time. Its like when its bored with playing with my dreams it wakes me up so it can play with me consciously. 

Today I woke up with the sounds from the other room extra loud as it was trying to wake me up and subsided. 

Annoying. 

Maybe I will get 4 straight hours on a good day. But I have been trying not to use sleep medicines. I’m already taking Tylenol’s. 

I do have some melatonine see if this helpsvwith someone jolting you out your sleep.

Illusion of Seperation

So!

Do not mistake “the voice with in” for channeling. Do not mistake your magic for the magician.

Often I believe that visuals of how we receive information. Stories, mythology, religious/ spiritual material, what people tell us, anything really.

How we receive this information may not be as intended. I mean the words are there. How its applied or filed in our system is another thing. 

We know our intentions. For the most part. 😞

Yea Yea Yea all is one. Ebb and flow. We effect each other. I get it. 

But in the spiritual community there are A LOT of imagery! We hold on to these in one form or another. 

For instance. “The voice with in” … “Your magic is with in” “contacting your “higher self””.

Why on earth would you be seperared? Fractured? Lost to find pieces of yourself in some dimensional hierarchy. 

What that is saying is that YOU are not perfectly made. Sitting with yourself means talking to yourself or something else… Some other part of you thats just been waiting for you to meditate?

No. 

People out here thinking they connecting with some divine God or Goddess, promise you that’s a big NAH. Promise you it ain’t your loved one that passed on. Anything will step in and give you comfort, meaning, a direction ….. For the mean time.

A lot of these concepts have this underlying tone that YOU …. YOURSELF aren’t able to make decisions for yourself…  Because you are separated. 

And if you think that….. promise something else will step in and start making those decisions or reconciliations for you.

I made that mistake. Not consciously. I wanted to know WHY did I feel different! Not myself! And it was because I wasn’t. I was being prepped, to be taken control of. 

You are not some little whispering voice deep down inside of you. You are not separated from yourself in anyway…. In this sense that the “higher self” is something to obtain through hours of meditation. It is making the best decisions for yourself/others. And being OK with and accountable for that. 

Now I mean for me…. As someone who has an “entity attachment” that has basically said it was every god, goddess, demon, alien, spirit guid, entity, cartoon character, loved ones passed and alive, even my fucking cat….. Anything under the sun. I can see where sitting down and shaking these “entities” off so you breathe and make a decision not based in anxiety. I get it. 

But please do not mistake your own guidence, your own feelings, your own true and whole authentic self….. For anything out here wanting to take control of your life. 

So lets groumd some of these concepts back into reality. Fuck that blue guy crumbling and being “rebirthed”. Fuck that orange and blue twin flame photo about divine love cause love does look like some flaming bird people. Its messy.

Believe me its easy to get caught up in the story. It could be anything. But don’t let anything catch YOU!

Hidden Place

If you can’t tell from the titles of my posts I am a huge music buff. Since all of this hearing screaming and lyrics all being directed toward some instance in my brief relationship with my ex (“twin flame”), I haven’t been able to truly enjoy digging for music as I use to. 

I mean I can listen to anything from trap to classical. 

Either way, right now the entity is at a volume say ….. 15% ish like it turns up on the TV at night when it wants to play. Or does that whole dramatic screaming thing. But the one that is (I think) is projecting all of this nonsense that’s actually attached to me doesn’t want to speak directly much now.

Just drive me insane with these false characters (idk I call them energy bubbles). While it trying to control MY THINKING and response. So it uses these other things as a way to distract me so that it can influence my response.

Same themes. Child abuse, My Ex, (are the most talked about) but also just plain old disgusting sexual stuff, death, illness, racism, threats. 

I mean I can take a dirty joke here or there but SHIT!

So now its in hiding again. 

When I found out it wasn’t God (I mean I knew that but whatever), Jesus, Alien, My EX, shit mother fucker ain’t even important enough to be SATAN.

So when I started asking WHO are you?

WHAT are you?

It started turning down in volume cause it done ran through everyone and I disproved it.

Now it wants to quietly run my show. 

But no fuck that it needs to go back to where ever it came from. It needs to leave.

I wish I would have recorded my body earlier but oh well. Like all this electric noises should not be coming from my head and vagina.

So I want to make sure this thing is GONE no more hiding and waiting after I worked so hard to fuck my life up. 

Nope GONE. 

Coward.

On Being Basic βœŒ

So this Entity has been telling me that if it leaves I will be “basic”. And still trying to dangle my ex as a “prize” while forcing me to see sick child abuse. 

No matter how many times I have told it to leave it doesn’t. 

I will be fucking basic. And fuck my ex. Like I don’t want to see child abuse any more and be energetically raped at the same time. Fuck this. 

So I will be that basic ass bitch get to fucking stepping all ready. The FUCK!

I can’t believe this thing is still doing this. Fucking stupid. 

What Depression Looks Like.Β 

This poem is pretty much how I live right now. Only you add taking care of my sister as needed and my “depression” having a voice non stop. I tried not to cry.

Its strange feeling so disconnected from my “depression”. Because I’m fighting so much inside…. That I don’t care what I look like on the outside…. Or to other people right now. 

FUCK I was trying not to cry. 

Maybe this is what depression looks like. 

And I know exactly what it sounds and feels like. 

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I brushed my hair today. For the first time in 4 weeks. It was matted and twisted together. It snapped and tore with every stroke. I cried while I washed and conditioned it, because I forgot how it felt to run my fingers through it. I brushed my teeth, too, for the first time in a week. My gums bled. My water ran red. I cried over that, as well. When I got out of the shower, I couldn’t stop sniffing my hair and arms. I’ve avoided hugging people for a while, because I never smell good. I always smell like I’ve been on bedrest for a week. I have no clean clothes, because I’m too tired and sad to wash them. 

Depression isn’t beautiful. Depression is bad hygiene, dirty dishes, and a sore body from sleeping too much. Depression is having 3 friends that are only still around because they have the patience and love of a saint. Depression is crying until there’s no more tears, just dry heaving and sobbing until you’re gasping for your next breath. Depression is staring at the ceiling until your eyes burn because you forget to blink. Depression is making your family cry because they think you don’t love them anymore when you’re distant and distracted. Depression is somatic as well as emotional, an emptiness you can physically feel. 

Please be easy on your friends and family that have trouble getting up the energy to clean, hang out, or take care of themselves. And please, please take them seriously if they talk to you about it. We’re trying. I swear we’re trying. See? I brushed my hair today.

By Katelyn Marie Lesho