The Curse pt. 2

I give up.

So someone told me these are projected thoughts from my dad which are also harmful considering the state I am in with these entities.

This only made the Entity go even harder on some Freudian Electra complex which is still the same and a trigger to the child molestation theme these demons were going on about. It’s my father and no one cares about his penis except for these demons. They just go on and on and on.

And so I am not committing suicide cause then they win although it’s tempting as fuck don’t get me wrong. But I made the choice to give up fighting back and spending money I don’t have on shit that will never make sense. I’m just laying in bed hearing jibber jabbering of nasty thoughts that aren’t mine about my life I guess and being electrocuted, of shakened burned stung whatever is on the menu along with verbal and emotional harassment.

So now that I lay there an I give up fighting back. I paid 3k+, doctors, prayed, I try to find some place in my mind where I don’t care what they are doing to me, the rape the electrocution the nasty thoughts and visions through it all and now that I try not to care, they have moved on to say “I like it”I like the feeling of rape or visions because “this is the most attention you get” but really I just I refuse to fight back. This I would assume is the next phase of hypnosis that that if you give up your mind must be weak enough to convince you that you actually enjoy this shit but really I’m tired. It’s 27/2 none stop 2 years and fought hard so ……

So I give up. I’m not strong enough for this curse. I’m not a fucking lightworker. I’m over all of it.

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I’m cursed

I’m here at my families other than my family and not committing suicide I think I’ve accepted I’m cursed and there is not much I have found I can do about it. I pray not because the demons force me to so they can make fun of god not rescuing me but for me. I crawl around my house aimlessly trying to regain some sense of strength. But these demons Entities are positioned all over my house and there is a mark on me to be spewed at and as soon as that sparkle hit my field I want to sleep and when I sleep they possess my body saying crazy stuff and I’ve learned to ignore it but they make me feel bad for ignoring it so I am cursed.

I can theorize how or why look at the elements go ghost busting hit another one with a bible. But they are forcing me into this religious show and this is not my religion. This is not even my belief. I believe in a loving God. I also don’t know if God is someone you can just call up on the phone and whatever these beings are they are playing off my ignorance. Inserting there own beliefs so they can torture me with sick images and electrocution. It’s ok not to know…..but to be. An example of your God. At least try to be. And we are not perfect.

I’m trying to stay calm and accepting my present moment but I find myself slipping into numb to survive. They keep attack harder recently. Nothing has worked so far in removal only temporary relief but I am grateful for those I have met.

Today was scary

After another night of night of harassment. I was also shot in the stomach by 30 geckos.

This made me have a black period.

But this morning I woke up to the smell of nail polish (which is normally a sign of the of the kidneys) , with a purple aura with holes over me and I could not breath and felt dizzy and sick.This did not feel medically related but “spiritual”. So I hurled my self to the bathroom tried to breaths went back to bed and when I woke up the female voice said “targeting is so hot!”

It’s days like these I don’t know what’s really going on or why. I am working so hard on my health I was decent health before. My family yea their health is in question but they are all surpassing me and it makes me feel like if they can have a stroke and recover why can’t I recover from this demonic schiz fatigue?

If I ignore them now I am to tired even more and they ask for information on every one and everything I have ever did in my life.

List time I ignored them I was electrocuted before sleeping for 5 mins.

I don’t know how to fight back only how I am tortured.

TV

I never watched tv before coming to my parents house and don’t get me wrong I like to indulge but I stopped watching it more recently and all the TVs are on and the sound bites on TVs are insane sounding. They talk so fast and loud and unless you are looking it can be taken anyway way especially with schiz.

People have know idea who or what God is

There are people but we forgive them but more specifically demons aliens whatever they are out here pushing their idea of what God is. Demons are out here playing us on some lame karma wheel with a string of ironies, misinterpreted actions or words only to feed themselves for the meaningless purpose of infinity.

Be careful out here in these skreets.

I’m loosing my mind

Besides being schizophrenic I’m loosing my mind TVs are always on I have demonic alien reptilian thing running around the house changing the story line every 30 mins, the TV is always on which changes the messages, I’m still getting raped, I’m accounting for every single person I’ve ever met trying to figure out how the fuck this happened to me and how to stop it, I can’t go outside cause it’s too much stimulation and I don’t have the strength yet.

And I’m loosing it.

I am a Narc

I was triggered and have yet to read an article that a friend posted because I can see how I am becoming a narcissist. Not abusive but self serving in the sense I want to get rid of this entity essentially.

I am stuck in my head with very few to actually people to talk to and listen that will understand or won’t trigger me. I am completely out of heart centered think while I can still access it, it becomes a debate with these grey aliens and reptilians rather than a natural state of being.

I become self centered not because I am because I am trying to protect myself and those around me and I am sure that be interpreted many ways. Even this blog even this writing. I say what I am as a declaration to accusations of what I am not. And in turn become a narc protecting myself and my ego.

Some not all narcs are just people who got hurt for too long. So they are processing in their heads how NOT to get hurt or hurt others. Like staying away.

Not sure how to dissolve this part of ego.

Thinking out loud: Are Archons Soul loss

I believe archons the round jelly disks I can see flying around are soul loss. I can’t say for anyone else. They are chi our vital life force. Information. Unconscious and maybe more than I really know.

But maybe archon are soul loss pieces or all that float around then sucks our energy field to create a static monster so no one will bother it.

Idk.

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