The Matrix: Stick Figures

So another thing (among many) that I see with in this hell matrix that I am stuck in is at my friends house I see all these huge stick figures. Like heads with spines and then tripod foot. And I have seen them shoot off of each other as well. So one long “stick” or “spine” in the middle and then a small head on top and the two “arms” where it seems like arms would almost be. Maybe a little lower or in the middle. And and a small head on each of those sticks.

This feeds into something that I heard a while back that “reptilians travel in 3s” which may not be exactly true to the species but maybe to what is going on as most of us are only seeing in part.

Maybe I am seeing the bare bones of an entity before they can create a creature to scare anyone. And maybe these creatures are 3 parts to them. Idk I’m just thinking out loud. I was told I had 3 poltergeist on me before I knew anything was really going on for real. Just had a funny feeling like something wasn’t right. So I went to a psychic and she said I had 3 poltergeist 😳 cause my lights kept turning out and doing crazy stuff. Another woman a demonologist said my “spirit guide” pick up some new friends along the way. Some real assholes they are that is fo sho.

I have been more attacked at my best friends house like I was at my parents house in the beginning of all of this. They want me to run away like they wanted me to do at my parents. And it’s the same pattern. New look, new house same shpeel.

Of course they keep dangling the attack of my godson in my face. But that is not my choice that is theirs. And I won’t know if they are still attacking him is I am gone. They did they same thing with my sister when I saw them attacking my sister. Told me to kill myself or to run away and they won’t attack her anymore. And I was my sister caretaker during her stroke recovery. Same shpeel.

Either way. I think those stick figures accumulate other Astral parasite from the matrix and create a “light body” of sorts you can do a lot with it if you create it with the right geometry the right matrix. It becomes its own world. It’s where dreams are made. Illusions are created and eventually lies are told.

I wish the lie didn’t hurt this bad. But it does. It’s bad for the soul, the heart, the mind. 5 minutes of these astral demons playing around in our lives can cost us our lives.

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I Gave Up Everything 😞

So I think because the story of Job we are encouraged to just let things go when life is taking a nose dive into a hot concrete pavement.

I mean I let go my job which I loved, my relationships, friendships, all my possessions (cause I could no longer afford to have them in storage), my comfort, dreams for what I thought my life would be like, health, money (3k in spiritual services), beliefs, food, sex, even at one point stopped wearing jewelry, ……….. I honestly don’t know what more to give up. I know the voices wanted me to run away and be homeless AGAIN. And I’m not doing that. The main reason I didn’t run away was that my sister had a stroke and I needed to be there to help her otherwise I’m not sure what I would have done to try to make this voice and torture stop. But I gave a lot. And I’m done giving up everything. Short of my life (which they even asked me to commit suicide almost everyday and I attempted twice because of the child sex abuse visions).

And while I am all for Gods corrections at what point are we just allowing ourselves to just be tortured and misdirected by demons who want to present themselves as Gods or Authorities?

I made the intention to go back to school hopefully next year and so what I have been doing is studying “spirituality” in its different forms. Recently studying I tried to study the Zohar which is the study of the soul and Gods correction of the soul but the demons just like the Bible made it extremely difficult to read and study. Twisting concepts around. I have come to plateau with these demons. I know how they work. They say and do the same things over and over again. I see what they look like even if they look different. So more or less I see how they build on each other or connect to each other and me. So I’m pretty much done and annoyed. But more annoyed and a bit disheartened that I might not be able to finish school like I want to. I just don’t want to waste money or fuck up cause of this experience or be in class and them talking about how I want to fuck my teacher or classmates all day. Cause that is NOT how I think!

I have been waiting on this miracle, but I’m not sure to what extent I am suppose to step out and what part I’m suppose to wait. I’ve been laying in this bed for a good 2.5 years and I’m done. I’m as zen as I’m gonna get. I’m not a threat to anyone. Maybe myself if I don’t figure out how to get this demon out. Cause I KNOW it’s not schizophrenia…. I have photos proving it’s not…. it’s definitely an entity and it stalks me all day and never shuts up. Why it’s stalking me I don’t know, but I can’t say I’ve done anything to justify this torture. I’m not perfect, but shit man…… this is out of control.

So I guess I wanted to check myself on all that I have given up on thinking it would help me shake this demon and it hasn’t helped.

Taking these extremes have helped me in same ways uncover who these demons really are. No they weren’t my ex, or my coworkers as they pretended to be. No it wasn’t God (thank God for discernment). No this wasn’t schizophrenia because they were stupid enough to show up in my photos. And this wasn’t because I was a terrible person and deserved it, no different than like anyone else that is sick and deserved it. You can do everything right and still get sick.

So I still have a lot to sort through. But I while giving up everything DID uncover them…… I am starting to feel like I am only self harming and living a life of misery (which is what they want). It’s so weird being a happy depressed person. Like I still have optimism but like I wanna die cause I hate this experience and the pedo shit.

There are days I wake up in bed and the demon says it wants to have sex with me and of course I say NO and of course it molests me anyway. It will try hard to make me almost feel sleepy or drunk. And I will end up going back to sleep because my energy is zapped. Like that’s my fucking sad ass life. The pedo/ father shit didn’t start until I realized it wasn’t my ex ( false twin flame) and I started rejecting this demon. My life is SO fucking sad and lame. But I’m trying to remain hopeful. I guess it was my fault for thinking two people could love each other so much they could have telepathy. But it wasn’t my fault. I just didn’t know.

Womp womp!

Anyway!

Targeted Individuals: Trolls and Trauma

So some of the TI forums I watch are infested with internet trolls. Men who watch TIs who are in their worst state and make fun of them call them crazy and retarded. All kinds of names. They get creative for the giggles I guess. Many of the TI call them perps but they aren’t they are just losers in a group like any other group trolling for the shits and giggles calling people mentally ill, however I firmly believe that trolls have a mental illness that that has not been uncovered or looked into yet as a community. But hey I’m not psychologist.

And I mean often times i read some people’s post and it is hard to read, or it does sound crazy or the person is frantic and paranoid. And it reminds me a lot of some of my earlier posts where I’m just like “fuck these fucking guys they ar fixing doing this to me fucking fuck” cause this shit HURTS! And it drives you insane.

Luckily I worked much of it out in an anon blog and with friends in private. Also in schizophrenic forum but I used very specific language. Very rarely brought up stuff about reptilian or matrix or any of that stuff unless someone else did. But mainly tried to talk about HOW the voices work. How they try to twist your mind around. Get you worked up. And how we must actively work to combat that.

The TI community is hurting HARD. I would say more than the schiz community because most don’t have the proper support networks. I mean there are like people who are YouTube who speak out and troll infested Facebook groups. They have rallies. But some think it’s the government and are really really adamant about that. Some think it’s spiritual like demons and some think it’s its aliens like reptillians. And maybe all 3 who knows lol.

As any case I think a lot of it is someone listening. Sorting through what is real and what is not real. I mean that is what I had to do on my own really. Sort through what was the voices and what was not over the course of 4+ years. What was me what was not me. And just give myself that space to do so. Granted I know most working people probably don’t have that kind of time because you add asshole coworkers and asshole drivers all in the mix and it’s a disaster. But we have to start breaking this shit down and start healing this shit.

Targeted Individuals are really on my list of people I hope find healing and relief. I mean feeling burned all night and day, not having control over your body? Someone speaking speaking through you? Pain constantly? Non stop voices? Tasting shit and piss? Rape? Sick visions? Body convulsing? See demons and aliens ghosts and shadows? It’s pure torture! All day!

So when I read these post I see people who are traumatized. And maybe people who are re-traumatized. There maybe other trauma that maybe has not been dealt with that is being played on and has not been settled. Will it stop all the torture NO but it will lessen it and our response to it. It won’t hurt as much. We won’t be as upset by it. But then again the experience it self is traumatic…. and that is something itself is something to unpack at some point.

🙏🏼

GodSon: Little Devils

So I came to babysit for my best friend while she was at school the next few days. And my godson was acting up. But it wasn’t so much that he was acting up or bad …… but he was VERY emotional about it and even more so when I or my friends boyfriend spoke to him about what he was being told to do. It was intense. But that happens every so often, I noticed he starts to crave more attention when there is two or more people in the house. But WHATEVER…..

What really got me is when he said that he had a REALLY BAD headache to the point he almost didn’t want to eat. The headaches or random pain is a very obvious sign of Entity etheric attachment. It is not the main one but smaller ones no bigger than a fist.

So while I was calmly talking to him and giving some time to breathe I stared at the top and sides of his head….. shoulders to see if I saw anything. And low and behold the demon revealed himself. I saw a darkish purple energy outline of the being walking on top of his head AND when I looked at it the demon spewed a sparkly energy orb thing at me so while I might not see exact details of the face I saw enough to know something was attached to him and making him feel bad.

This demon or alien thing has been stalking me wherever I go. Even to the doctors office. I mean I’m not sure if it’s because I am around or not. I have seen some in the children’s playground that had nothing to do with me.

But I don’t understand why they would attach to an innocent child like that! It infuriates me.

I spoke to a friend of mine that does astral healing work (he is really legit and the sweetest man alive) and he said in fact there was a demon attached to both my godson and I. And he removed it.

Today my godson was way more chilled and listening and not super emotional to the point he didn’t even understand why he was feeling the way he was feeling.

It was good to have my sight of the beings confirmed by my friend. But at the same time I’m really upset that it’s happening at all and I just don’t know if it is because of me.

While my friend has been able to remove astral etheric attachments for me before he hasn’t been able to remove the voice that attacks me all day. Just like the really problematic immediate issue or symptom of a larger problem….. the stalking entity. But he is good at what he does and I don’t dole that out to just anyone! Especially after being taken financially taken advantage of by many “healers”.

It was nice to have a very energetically calm day with my godson. It’s too hot for all that mess tbh.

I really wish I had super powers to help heal people in that way. He went to school for this so he knows what he is doing. And he is a teacher. I just wished he could just pluck this nasty one out though. It is literally a thorn in my side.

Trying to remain hopeful I can beat this!

update: my godson is in the kitchen learning how to cook with my best friends boyfriend while I chill writing waiting for dinner and my friend to get home from school. Super loving environment like he deserves!

Humans as Energetic Crypto Currency

I was reading the article “reversals produce loosh” by Lisa Renee and I immediately saw myself as a crypto currency machine.

A few times I have heard the voices talk about money, seemingly asking another entity for money when accessing me. I also heard something about a “shop”.

Loose is basically energy harvested from animals usually through torture. This makes me wonder if this is why sacrifices (human or animal) of any kind were usually apart of rituals or offerings. THE LOOSH!

While I’m not currently a practicing vegan anymore I know I want to go back. One thing that I never understood in the Bible is why God would want us to kill or sacrifice one of his creations in such away. That the smell of burning flesh pleased God. Which is why I often wonder if the Bible sometimes confused God for one the low level asshole looser astral Entities. Sac religious I know. Forgive my ignorance I just go with what is i my heart and what is here in this reality and they conflict …… a lot.

So I had the unfortunate pleasure of seeing into “the astral” which is basically hell and I saw books and boxes of tool and coverings of sort. One of the boxes I saw was a tool that looked like a long horned trumpet. I saw the Entities (many at one point) use these trumpets to either suck energy from me it seemed. I wondered if these supplies we made also out of my loosh. I also saw clothing that looked like Casper the friendly ghost and the box (which looked like a small casket) which it came in. With out the covering the smaller entities look like skeletons of some kind. I’ve also seen masks and those smaller entities conglomerate into a larger one.

So I wondered if I am like their personal crypto harvesting bank of energy. Because it works more like crypto and less like employment and a bank etc. And they habitually abuse me through pain or emotional turmoil of gross stuff (which I mentioned in my blog numerous times). I can tell you I don’t have much left. I sure feel wasted.

I never wanted to encounter the astral it just happened. And what I saw was during when I was trying to figure out what was happening to me. And I hoping this is just another layer of the lie…… the illusion.

The really sucked the fun out of life. Seeing all of this. Just makes life really Bleh.

Why can I see them?

I often wonder why I can see these Entities and others can’t. I mean my friends can see them in EMF photos I take so I’m not TOTALLY crazy.

But I have not showed anyone super close to me the photos for fear of what they will think of me or that it will open them up to these beings. I honestly don’t want anyone to go through this. But if you are already walking on the weird side of life then cool let’s compare notes.

The first time I noticed them I was on the toilet and the voices were just yakity yacking away and I let out a big sign and I saw a clear circle in front of me ripple through air and tiny sparkles. I then focused my eyes on the space in front of me and noticed the circle in front of me. I breathed on it again ….. ripple in space. It’s almost like seeing heat waves off of the hot concrete. Clear but a bit distorted. That was the first time I saw them and how they are set up all around my house. I mean it’s everywhere almost.

From there I saw the dark energy blobs that are basically just another form of the clear circles. They can be either dark, white or clear. Then I started seeing their eyes and they tried to scary me chasing me around the house but I faced them head on. I smacked on with a bible for being near my sister. But I still didn’t see them completely only know that something is there. It wasn’t until I took EMF photos with the “long exp” camera app on iPhone did I actually see more of what they look like and then things started to make sense. Like how they line only my bedroom with smaller Entities. How they are pretty much all over the house. How they stand near the TV and why I would think their voices were coming off the tv. Still not sure how it fully works but seeing them near the TV makes sense I just assume they are connected to me at the same time.

Then I started to see them glow with their full outline seen by my bare eyes. Often when I would see them directly they will turn away. I’m not sure why. They had sunglasses on at some point. So there is something with me looking directly at them that they don’t like.

So what is it about ME that allows me to see them and no one else. Like I have pretty good vision 20/30 I believe. I’ve also slowed down A LOT (I’m usually a really fast paced person) so just slowing down and actually noticing what is in “empty” space could be another reason. They also choose to show themselves to me when they wanted to scare me. And I think it’s funny now. Uhm …. I mean is my pineal gland like super activated? I was trying to turn this thing off…. eating a regular American diet (which I’m more of a vegetarian), I listen to the kardashians all day because of my sister so that’s mind numbing. I just don’t know how. Is there a chemical in my brain that’s allowing me to see them?

What is it? Again this plateau is really frustrating….. I can feel them but can’t touch them. Her them but can’t figure out which one of the many Entities is the one constantly talking to me. I can see them but barely prove it. I mean unless your on the crazy boat like I am your mind won’t wrap around actually seeing this Entities in photos.

Part of me want to try ayahuasca again the first time all I did was poop a lot…. no experience really happened.

It’s like wanting to shake something off that’s stuck to you…. I hate the way my body feels with them. It feels heavy and in pain (severe migraines), or I feel like waves of creepy crawls on my butt, or on my vagina. It’s just sooo weird. What is happening to me? I got all these beings attached to me like a magnet and I have to carry them around. And I just want my body back.

Soon as I get my money flow this fall, I’m doing every possible detox you can think of! Gut detox,parasite,liver and then kidneys, then the gut again and then maybe a heavy metal detox and try to practice raw vegan one month of every season. Even though I got attacked when I was glowing up on my vegan diet I’m going back ……. and if they attack me like they did before then that will just be another data point for me.

I just wish I had someone I could actually talk about this stuff with to better understand. I feel like I have a super power that’s pointless. It’s like ok cool I can see them but I can’t peel them off of me….. so what’s the point?

Will the truth ever be revealed?

Who am I? What Am I?

I spent all morning racking my brain around, WHAT and WHO exactly am I in this “menagerie” of Entities and beings floating around me and my house.

These beings are starting to cover my own face to the point in a EMF photo you can barely see my actual face. (Again if you want to see you can just ask but those particular photos were scary so I won’t post them till I understand them better).

I feel like if you aren’t careful any being will come in and tell you who and what you are, just feeding yet ANOTHER matrix of lies to crawl out of. I don’t mind observing possibilities of truth, but I’m not taking anything for absolute truth just yet.

So you’ve seen it…… the memes that say we “are the light, be the light.”, that we “need to look INSIDE ourselves for the truth” all these riddles when we could just say hey this is what’s up. Either way…… how exactly am I suppose to look at myself physically or with in?

This part is kind of confusing me. I’ve worked on my mental A LOT and my emotional and while I might be 100% compared to where I was 3 years ago I did THE WORK while getting my ass rapped and beat my Entities.

I guess because I was/am assaulted by Entities there is a part of me that wants to just jump out of my body and handle them properly.

But also this all came from realizing how the have high jacked my imagination/ 3rd eye vision and my dreams. I’m my dreams I realized that it wasn’t mean driving or creating the dreams it was them. One of the Entities even was so bold to draw a simple drawing of who he was driving my dream, he was also trying to write but was having difficulty. I was only the observer. But how? Why? Very few of my dreams make sense now. They are mundane or just …. fast pace…. overall weird…. and I dream ALLL THE TIME. So it’s more like a place for them to play or live and act out and less likely my own consciousness. They are looney that is the best way I can describe it.

So as the observer and I can control this body 95% I say that because they can jolt my body and make it shiver, burn, be in pain etc and on rare occasions moved a limb, a toe or a pinkie. They can make me feel but they can not make me move with out a strong suggestion that I agree to. Say going to smoke a cigarette.

But how do I find that light with in? Truly? Not some illusion set up by the Entities.

Why in a photo I can see them but I can’t see myself (spiritually)? Am I locked in this body? Which is fine why is that these other beings can come and go as they please? And hurt my body?

I have so many question? And I again just don’t know where to go for answers. Or if those answers will suffice.

Part of healing to for me is deconstructing how and why we suffer. Critique it, trying to make it better for the next person. I take what I learned in 3D about healing and apply it spiritual. I have the option to wait on Gods grace (and the assumption) do nothing about my situation or I can be an active part in my healing and try to break this shit down not just for me but for others that feel like they are loosing it because of this odd experience.

I doubt any one reads this crap but lol if you have any good books or articles or methods to understand this better let me know.

❤️🙏🏼❤️

How The Illusion Works

Examples:

Kim Noble: painting. Kim is a painter who has multiple personalities and allows her personalities to paint. This is an example of one interested me because it resembled one of my hallucinations. I would say this represents the Energy one would see which is usually not the full picture.

This is a quick drawing by me of a frequent “hallucination” I see. I feel like I can see the bare bones of what these beings really are but they can use light or dark to change themselves.

I don’t know who made this image but it showed up on my time line. I know it is suppose to be the divine mother Mary. This image caught my eye because again it looked very similar to that of Kim Nobles and my drawing. Now my drawing above can use light to create a dream or a vision to look like the image below. And that is how these beings create illusions. It’s the best way I can describe it.

Turning My Spiritual Attack into a Blessing

So don’t get me wrong. I have my days. And I want it to stop and I am standing my ground firm on that the best way I know how.

However…. my eyes have opened to knew worlds and communities of people I never knew existed. If it wasn’t for the internet I might be dead to be honest. Between the twin flame community and the targeted Individual community and the schizophrenic community there are so many that I can relate to. Most of us have learned to be soft with each other and built heart connections based on our traumas that we really can’t share with many people with out sounding completely looney.

But it’s important to really talk about it and unravel everything. Even as much as I write about everything it’s still difficult. Multiply storylines and merging storylines happened as well as confusion so at times I can only follow one frame work but usually there were multiple happening at the same time.

I want nothing more then to stop hearing voices all day long, and being raped by demons and being called vile names and shown distrusting images.

But this torture only propelled my fight to be outspoken for those who are are afraid to speak, to research, to observe.

I will always say I traded my FEAR for CURIOSITY. That was the first step to no fear. I picked up my pen and drew what I saw or I typed in my blog exactly what I was experiencing in that moment.

I then was able to reference back to these things at a later date and hopefully see a progression of sorts. And there has been progress. Slow but progress.

Carl Jungs Shadow Work also helped me learn WHY the demon aliens chose the topics they chose. Shadow Work is like root work ….. it’s getting to the root of an issue and a core belief system. I know that child sexual abuse is a big trigger for me cause of a childhood wound (that I mention in this blog) and because it’s just wrong. And they know it upsets me so just keep hitting that button over and over and over again. But I realized where it stems from and made some piece because at first it seemed like it was coming from no where. Like hearing “you’re a child molester” one day out of no where after not thinking about my childhood trauma for eons just seems random. But now I know why they picked it. Because I would murder them for what they did to me….. and they know it I ain’t above that shit. I will bust some 👽 alien mars attack heads idgaf!

ANYWAYS! 😇

So other than getting to meet new people and expanding my community (which has been difficult due to homophobia and low key racism in the spiritual community but that’s a whole other story) and learning more about myself, I also seen a whole other world *cue Aladdin theme song*.

While this world was scary and confusing. If this this world exist ….. I know there is a God. While they def look like aliens and act like demons…. I’m not sure WHAT dimension I am in exactly. So again trade the fear of the unknown for curiosity. Not sure how long I will be here but I can document as much as I can while I am.

They can hurt us, but figure out HOW they hurt us. They won’t kill you (least that I know of) just make you want to off yourself. Suicide is kind of like their signature move.

The more we strengthen ourselves and document for others struggling, hold space for other struggling, support them, allow them to feel, listen to them, the more we can start shedding light on these alien demons that are holding innocent humans hostage.

We can turn this into a blessing. Alien/demons are real! Let’s stop acting like it’s just Hollywood. Where you think they get the creativity from? So! Let’s turn it into a blessing and flip this script on all of them real quick. They messed with the wrong generation!

Peace and Love

❤️🙏🏼❤️

Last Nights Nightmare

So last night my friend went to the hospital for stomach and back pains. I am try hard not to attribute it to acute spiritual attack by these demons. She said she suddenly feels like she has no energy and of course she that’s what Demonic attacks feel like. But at the same time she has taken on a large t of school work and a new relationship and is a single parent. That’s why I help with watching my Godson so she can be a bit mobile a make it to NA meetings once a week as a part of her recovery.

Either way I trying my hardest not to trip and think any thing is my fault. That my mere existence and my presence has a negative impact when I’m trying my hardest to have a positive one. These demons have choice in who they go to next. It is not random clearly. It’s their choice not mine.

So last night I randomly took a a light box photo of myself while watching Jessica Jones on Netflix’s. A light box photo is this app that les you take photos in night and makes the photo sensitive to light. Basically it’s an EMF photo. I’ve posted a few before you can check out my media gallery (if you know how to I don’t). I won’t post the photo publicly because the I’m embarrassed a bit but if you want see the photo privately I will show you just message me. My fried said the ok lol very clear like reptilians.

That is how serious this photo is. Basically energetically (emf) it’s a mans face overlaying over my face to the point you can’t see my face. And above my head is a shadowy figure with its hands over my ears and the man and the shadow figure look connected through a cord of such. It is FREAKY.

It made me upset. Because I recognized this “mans” face from other times he has tried to scare me and even dreams. I’m not sure what his problem is or why he is here. He is around but doesn’t come into the picture frame often. And I guess cause I caught him on camera that might of upset him to scaring me a bit.

So my friend put on white noise “soothing sound of rain” to go to sleep and Soon as she went to sleep they started to go to town with talking really loud about about god knows what but kept calling me an idiot for about 5 or 10 mins before I got up to go smoke a cig. Then when I move I got hit with a huge light blue energy ball like I heard, it felt, saw it. It was like a little mini explosion light when gas catches fire. I never felt anything like that before. I just kind of stayed put for a few minutes before getting up again to see if it was going to happen again.

Everything is so strange. I felt fear for the first time in a while. I was also upset. Upset that some MAN (could have been a mantis entity being in a mask, yea I know sounds crazy but I’ve seen beings wear masks before) fucking face was over my face where my face should be. So soon as I got angry they were able to trade that for fear by talking over the white noise and sounding really human like.

Just not a good night over all. And the meds suck. I feel more agitated and irritated than usual.