Any time I pray I get attacked

Any time I pray I get attack with some new fresh hell…..

I will spare you details because it would be like spreading it but it’s it’s in in the same themes they always have sexual perversion.

I prayed for my sister cause she hasn’t been feeling well like before she had the stroke. And I got scared. And I don’t know if it’s really her health or these demons attacking her.

I snuck a photo of here and saw a long parasite wrapped around her stomach and something glowing on the eye she had surgery on.

She eats healthy ish, lots of salads and fruits …….. but it’s a lifestyle change she would need like a full detox and it’s drastic and I know she’s not going to do that or listen to me m. I just prayed and put in Gods hands and asked the one true God to let me know if there is anything I can do to assist my sister. Because the demons blamed me for my sister stroke. Said “you couldn’t even save your sister.”

So this morning the demons gave me a really bad dream involving my sister 😭😭😭😭😭😭😳😳😭😳😭😭😳😳😭😭😭😳😳😳😳😭😭😳😞 and I hate my life and kind of just waiting to die really.

Just waiting to die.

I know it’s not me or my subconscious mind or any of that shit. It’s a demon. Or many…. but I’m just waiting to die and I’m going to keep on being a tattle tale until that day comes.

So yack yack yickity yyack yack!

Fucking nasty assholes pieces of shit.

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Seroquel Update

I’m on Seroquel 100mg once a day at night

Where I passed out the first night. It no longer helps me sleep.

I find that I am becoming more …….. complacent with talking back to the voices where before I was making a good effort not to talk back to them.

Complacent that’s how I feel on this drug.

My eyes are shifting and feeing like they are specifically being electrocuted after taking the medication at night.

I smoke and snack (but don’t like meals) more on this drug.

Dizzy

My hearing will become tin canny.

Hallucinations are all still there.

Nope not a “demon” it’s a Mantis

So I slept A LOT on this seroquel stuff a bit broken sleep but I slept.

Because what Woke person wants to be awake for for this YUCK πŸ’©πŸ€’πŸ˜₯.

Anyways, the “demon” dark shadowy figure I had shown in the previous post I found out is a MANTIS. It’s like ALL these characters are Mantis’ and they are just playing games. They tried to confused me as I woke up when I saw him changing.

I should have known they can glow or be the blackest black you’ve ever seen (at least the outlines are) ….. so when I saw him in the same place the shadow demon was as a Mantis I knew I was duped …… again.

In the Kabbalah demons are described as having chicken like or tripod like legs if you look at a Mantis it is very similar.

@ 20:00 he will describe demons

That doesn’t make them any less Demonic or harmful or annoying. But I’m making sure I’m keeping up to date with what I see. Yes they are demons and yea they are shape shifting Mantis’ from God knows where.

I don’t know why they are so sexually perverse.

You can google the “72 demons of Solomon” and you will find conglomerated demons on a clawed foot of sorts. Keep an open mind. The foot is the base and then smaller demons hop on creating a larger demon. And your sitting there like like HUH? But I think over time they have come up with a few new ways to disguise themselves.

Im not sure if the Mantis are copying as a format or they are really apart of the 72 Demon and we just never made the connection between aliens, demons (and nature??????) idk. All I know is Mantis seems to be the default.

THIS SUCKS I WANT THEM TO GO AWAY!!!! I don’t want to have to poison myself for no reason cause they are fucking gross!!!

How Many Entities?

My family’s apartment (specifically my room) is lined in Entities. The ceilings are lined with medium size I can’t count how many but one wall could have maybe 5 to 10 gecko looking ones that will spew sparkles if I look at them. So let’s say a lot of those in the main room and on electronics too (TVs, Fans)

OK.

So in term of very different large entities I have seen quite a few. But apparently they CAN shape shift. So let’s say 5-10 larger entities. This includes Mantis (and their many looks), shadow demon, something that looks like ETs cousin, reptilians, ect.

Then I’ve seen countless parasites worms centipedes looking ones, smaller tiny versions of the bigger ones and small demons trolls, tiny human fairy looking ones, tiny black dot ones (almost like the soot from spirited away). Maybe hundreds of all of those. 😳

Then there are 🌺 flowers and cars and tree branches, mask, words, numbers, boxes of costumes. Yea it’s crazy round these parts.

OK. Yea so that’s my life right now.

And while I see ALL OF THIS……. I only hear 2 to 3 voices max on the regular. If there are like 100s of entities like I see and I have seen go in and out my body wouldn’t I hear more? I know they are “hive mind” or “group consciousness” but something still doesn’t make sense completely. At one point (before I saw them) I thought it was ONE Entity acting as many because of how fast they would talk or how often they would pretend to be other characters.

I see many, hear few, believe none.

Now my friend is telling me this is the government but idk. This is legit nonstop harassment. She said they want to give me cancer. Idk.

I just wish I could figure this out or it would just stop already. I’m not crazy. I’m not.

I hope the truth come out soon cause I never thought I would be the tin foil hat girl. Shit sucks.

Praying Mantis’

The ones I see don’t look like this. They look more traditional but have like other things with them like masks and necklaces and outfits.

Is this a joke that I’m seeing “PRAYING” Mantis’ but they are from another dimension and evil?

Like what le fuck is GOING ON?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

I realized that the Mantis can shape shift into looking like a reptilian. Which makes sense. Because they want to feared. So they used the reptilian persona to scare the shit out of me and rape me and stuff.

Just like the used the God persona to condemn me, but who the fuck are they? Where do they fit in this grand scheme of life other than fucking mine up?

http://www.exopaedia.org/Ataien

Everything I read about them are positive but this has been nothing but a nightmare. They even have a curse to scare me called “summer of Sam” .

How the fuck do I get this shit out of my life it’s so grossssssssssss!!!!

I use to like praying mantis too!!! I was going to even dedicate a fashion show to their color pallets and shapes. But now ! The FUCK!

God please tell what is going on!!!

😞

Twin Flame: Illusion of Unconditional Love

So I will alway think about things differently I don’t go with the status quo and as much as I want to be a part of SOME clique I will usually be the black sheep. Only once did I feel a part of a team that actually challenged and cared and then BOOM schiz happened.

ANYWAYS…..

So have you noticed that “unconditional love” for your twin flame is a condition of the “twin flame” experience. FUCK THAT!

If someone is fucking up or hurting you, you tell them! Of course you want to check yourself and make sure you are not trying to hurt them back but check that shit! Unconditional love doesn’t mean taking anyone’s shit. That includes separation and taking false vows of chastity because that’s what this Entity forced me into.

Because that’s what it made me believe that would bring my “twin flame” back who was a false one.

You can be both fierce and loving. You can tell someone they are fucking up and still love them and not cower into this delusion that love doesn’t rock the boat or is silent.

Because then you are simply in a relationship with yourself doing all the work for both of you and THAT is not fair and that is fucking up.

I’m not a twin flame but that’s what ushered me into schizophrenia. So it’s a major part of my story and who I am. But who doesn’t want an eternal healing love? But at what price?

I’m not going to pay for anymore healing. Healing and being able to heal is a gift. And our world CLEARLY needs it now more than ever. NOW LOOK at the world once capitalism got its paws on healers and churches and religion and spirituality.

Look at it!!!!

But for only $1,111 I can fix your problems connect you with your twin flame, clear all your blocks, get you that dream job, manifest a life worth living.

?

Spare me. I get it we got bills to pay. At this point they are better off calling it therapy, than spiritual services. Costs about the same. Spiritual indicates you are actually working in other realms and being effective.

Either way if I come off as bitter oh well I spent more than I have to get rid of the black magic Entity that I some how accumulated after my ex. But whatever I’m just gonna keep going on and on and on and on until I know the truth AND this stupid gross shit stops!

Current Mood πŸ–•πŸΌ

Listening to: Mpho Selina – No Evil

Fuck Evil, this realm and all dimensions. I’m done with the bullshit!

I had to sit here and take this nasty shit just so I could figure out what’s real what’s not. To help others and myself. And I’m tired of the abuse.

Can imagine being basically knock out like a narcoleptic whenever an Entity wants you not to draw, eat, talk to some, go outside, date, write a letter, blog, because they have bets on who can control me better?!?!?! What The FUCK!

I can’t make shit up like this I got other shit I would rather do and I don’t give a shit. YES they will make me pass out for like 20 mins to keep me from doings something to make themselves feel powerful. There is no point in me resisting because that tiny bit of energy needs to be reserved for other more important shit.

So fuck them!

πŸ™πŸΌ Two middle fingers up while I balance this chi! πŸ–•πŸ˜‘πŸ–•

Waiting Lines…..

“Everyone’s saying different things to me different things to me.”

Through the “twin flame” journey or better described “false twin flame trip”, something that resonated was “stand your ground”.

It wasn’t until then was I able to stop only some of the madness. I figured out it wasn’t “telepathic” communications with my ex (false twin flame). Or some “blessing” to bring us back together. It wasn’t fate, or angels or God.

As much as I wish it was, at least it wouldn’t have made felt less pointless. But I said I don’t want anything in return for this nasty torture. I didn’t want to marry my ex “nothing was worth” the implanted thoughts. I just wanted it to stop.

So I stopped. I physically and emotionally and mentally just huffed and sat my ass down and stopped everything. Gave up everything. Kept it simple, my faith in God although I can’t say I wasn’t unwavering at times and upset.

And I tried to stand up to my attackers the best way I know how. First with curiosity, then love and compassion cause I thought that’s what Jesus would do, then with fury and cussing them out almost every moment of every day cause I was tired of the nasty thoughts. They manipulated any course of action to position themselves in a place of authority and power.

And now I’m somewhere between ignoring and cussing. I used art and writing as a way to help myself and maybe others.

I tried to help others and be of service and I’m not saying that to boast just list the things I did in the meantime.

I’m just tired.

I don’t know what to do anymore. My hands are even curse. There are astral parasites intertwined around them making it difficult to draw like I was when I started.

So considering I gave up mostly everything, GOD what do I do while I wait? I’m a slow learner, but I go deep. I can be a fast learner too. But when it comes to spirituality I prefer to take my time never saw the rush. But now……. I just can’t take it anymore.i can barely make it a 1/4 a block with out feeling weighed down by the astral Entities. This isn’t about my motivation. There is coffee for that.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. Any effort I make is blocked by some astral curse. I have proof I’m not crazy PHOTOS that this is really happening….. to me and many. And I don’t know what to do.

God what do you want me to do in the mean time??!!? And how do I know it’s you and not the demons!?

What I see: vision: sea of couples πŸ’‘

In this world opposite world, of duality which I am not accustomed to, pairing seems so important.

Pair of the opposites or compliments is so important to the Entities game.

I saw a sea of couples that look like on (my assumption) one masculine and one feminine. Just a huge sea of couples.

A few times in my visions a I saw a few couples torn apart. Some couples were actually 1 whole but half. Which is kind of strange conceptually becoming visual. My first thought was twin flames but I doubt that. The couples were bright reds and yellow.

I saw large black lizard walking through them and two parasites with big heads.

I guess I wonder what they mean any they show up in my photos.

I saw this today, from a photo a few days ago.

I guess I feel so alone I wonder if I even belong there…… or why I see this or what’s up with the Lizard monster.

Ori vs Akasha 🌟

According to Wiki “Ori (Yoruba), or known as OrΓ­ in Latin America, is an Orisha and metaphysical concept.

Ori, literally meaning “head,” refers to one’s spiritual intuition and destiny. It is the reflective spark of human consciousness embedded into the human essence, and therefore is often personified as an Orisha in its own right. It is believed that human beings are able to heal themselves both spiritually and physically by working with the Orishas to achieve a balanced character, or iwa-pele. When one has a balanced character, one obtains an alignment with one’s Ori or divine self. It is also believed that Ori be worshiped like Orisha. When things are not going right, Ori should be consulted. And to make things right Ori should be appeased. This is because whatever one becomes or whatever happens in one’s life is as destined by Ori.”

This came across my screen tonight after a friend mentioned this about his artwork. “Ori” reminded me of “Akasha Aether” which I just learned about Friday.

Essentially “head” energy.

Akasha Aether seems to be even more allusive than Ori in definition maybe because it’s so individualized and personalized.

In the YouTube video on The Secret of Ether’s at time 12:00 Doug Gabriel goes on to say the Akasha although a eastern concept is basically “Christ Consciousness”. Essentially, your consciousness is elevated with in Christ. Christ is both worshipped and consulted and so essentially Christ could be considered an Ori (maybe πŸ˜³πŸ˜±πŸ€”πŸ˜•) maybe I am pushing it?

The comparison is not meant to be disrespectful, but actually respectful of how beautifully different our cultures are and how shockingly similarly some concept eventually meet along the road.

I know what Christianity did to Yoruba and how Europeans used the gospel to excuse their unforgivable acts on a people, but at the heart I can not at that is the bases of Christianity. If anything based on my little bit of knowledge Christianity is about Freedom! Liberation!

Unfortunately it is Hooomans that give it a bad name. And these demons are doings a pretty good job at distorting it conceptually as well with religious delusions and distortions.

So we have a ways to go before we reach Christ consciousness as a whole collectively. That meaning mastery of ones self, that meaning one with God and law which means respect for ALL. That means everything!

As someone outside of Christianity or Ifa (Yoruba) or other “spiritual” belief systems that what ever would have been considered an Ori, an outside force or energy, that because I have no original origins or beliefs this possibly upset the “Ori”.

I’m for shizzle not a Satan worshiper. I thought Spirit/ancestors where to be respected. Angels much appreciated. God and Christ loved and praised.

Someone told me I have a “negative guide” but I’m unsure where I would have gotten that from. Is it because I have no fixed origin “bitsa” (a word the entity wrote in a few of my photos) that I confuse the Akasha energy or Ori which makes this process way more painful than it should?

If that is the case, wouldn’t my love for culture and knowledge be a check mark? Or the fact I try to see where concepts meet. Honestly never in my adult life did I bridge so many gaps together SO FAST and STILL not have the answers I am looking for. How? WHY?!?!!!!! Who are you?!

Just pondering life and why it is the way it is. These aren’t facts just the inner thoughts of some random woman on the internet. 😚