When will the tears end? 😭

I was casually looking through my instagram. I was looking for a current photo where I had a ninja look going on. Then I looked at this photo and realized I had some of the same markings in my photos now that I had when I was a child.

Its like this flower portal thing. And I just cried because I don’t know why it’s here or why my life is being ruined because of it.

I was a child!

It had nothing to do with some past mistake I made that this demonic archon voice was trying to force me into suicide over.

This is so fucked up!

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Imaginary Friend 🍃👻🍃

I had some “the gruge” like or alien raptor visuals in the begining ….. But I laughed at them …. So oddly my visuals are not AS strong although I have like floating emojis around the house which are odd and visions of child abuse or which is terrifying or random photos of people. 

I guess I am more stern because of the auditory …. Speaking creates more of a relationship. So it’s like one moment the voices would have me crying from saying moms gonna die, then sucidial from a sick visual of child sexual abuse and then trying manipulate me back into a friendly demeanor by making jokes or saying they love me. I realized this was a cycle of abuse. 

The Reconciliation /Honeymoon phase is “The victim feels pain, fear, humiliation, disrespect, confusion, and may mistakenly feel responsible. Characterized by affection, apology, or, alternatively, ignoring the incident, this phase marks an apparent end of violence, with assurances that it will never happen again, or that the abuser will do his or her best to change.” 

The first time I was introduced to this was when my best friend in high school told me that her mom would beat her, and then clean her wounds and tell her sorry and it won’t happen again and do it again. I asked my mom if she could live us but she couldn’t. 

Once I found this habitual pattern of abuse…. As much as those funny moments are so important for relief to the constant verbal abuse… To love and not hate…. To laugh….. I sadly had to accept that these voices will never change…. And I can no longer enable their abuse. Nor can I trust any attempt to gain my trust. 

This is called trauma. Not being able to leave a state of constant distrust or being on gaurd…… Physically harms the body in itself as well as how I interact with others. I’m trying to simply be clear and stern about my boundaries rather than be become a full blown narc. But it hurts and its hard because this is NOT my true nature. 

Sans the sick twisted abusive stuff…. I have no problem having an imaginary alien rapture friend that remixes gregorian music, plays air ghost tic tac toe and makes decent jokes given a natrual break in communication and with out pain from them touching me is gone.

Yea…. I am liberal about being crazy.

Copy Cat 🙀🙏 Smiley Face ☺

Above is a photo from a young girl in my schizophrenia group. We originally started speaking about her hallucinations in the group and she seemed so scared I told her to maybe draw them. To kinda face the fears, showing them she is not afraid. 

At first she was like no, but then some weeks later she started drawing them. And I was really proud of her for facing her fears.

She exolained this one is very different than what she normally sees. And I saw the same one again today as well. 

Some weeks ago my friend “sent me energy” and it looked like smiley face and flowers. I wrote about it in the blog. Her energy was very polite. When she brought her energy back to herself I knew. BUT the demonic energy here tried to copy the look of her energy signature and tried to seem like it was her. But know when it is not. There is always a slight difference from hers. Hers is brighter, faster, and moves. This demons is slow and dull and the smile is different. 

Now this girl drawing a version of the demonic version of this energy that I saw today and its making me upset. 1. Because I pray that its not this demon trying to fuck with her or me. 2. I feel like I should not be around ANYONE like I can’t care about anyone, help anyone with out some bullshit.

They asked me to be a moderator in the schiz group. Cause I give a shit about people and I want people to be OK….. But then things like this just makes me feel like shit.

Monster Logos ❤


Not all but many of the “energy”, entities, aliens, archons whatever you want to call them have a … Logo of sorts. I would assume, since they seem to be a hivr mind ad they attach to a humans individuality they long for that same separation. Thus a representation …. A logo of themselves of sorts.

Either way….. Each being…. Yes is individual in a way or for the moment…. And they CAN tether to you to sustain it self itself in whatever form that truly is. 

Just as they tether they can disconnect…. But who wants to find a new victim to learn? 

No I have seen “energy” or Entities that DID NOT connect to me physically and did not force itself to stay in my field or my home. 

I have to keep reminding myself there is a good spiritual world. And just because I have been forced to see this side that doesn’t make me a bad person for trying to understand and not leaving it to prayer alone. The Entities often try to guilt me…. Saying I’m a bad christian or something like that…. Because I donyt leave this to prayer alone. Again, Me, God, Meds. 

One of my friends told me about a story where she was in s parade in Chile and she fainted and then a shaman help her friend carry her to a place and then the shaman blew smoke on her back and pulled out like a teddy bear smoke logo. This teddy bear was a teather from an entity attempting to attach or hide in her. But was removed. 

Just like I had logos #, 👽, X, ❤  of all kinda stuff on arms and body. I can see but I can not remove them.

If I look directly where I know there is an “energy field” portal, alien demon whatever…. It will spew something at me…. It will sparkle maybe black maybe white and then I will see a smaller “portal” near me or a logo on my skin or my third eye. 

When I take photos of my face…. It legit looks like a child scribbled on my forehead. Especially the 3rd. I don’t know how long they last, or if they wash off in a shower… Or what. 

But sorry we want our people to be spiritually OK they need to know this shit good or bad.if you are walking around with a naked lady in your arua masterbating then that’s fucked up. That’s what I saw in this one guys field…. And he knew what I was talking about. I never a full figure before. 

I have no interest in playing with these entities…. Or anyone else for that matter when it comes to this. I seek to be free of the bullshit that is not me. Like this is basic shit. 

Lightened Photo

If I didn’t see this shape drop down in front of my eyes or mark my skin then I would say hey this prolly just a camera glitch.

This is the first time I caught on camera what I was drawing.

No one else is seeing it…  And its clear as day and making me feel crazy. And I thought I was a rational person. 


Photo of what I usually see

Like this is the most obvious photo I have taken. I would zoom in or not have it on a white background or in bright lights so your eyes can adjust. Im trying to look at it now in my bathroom lights and all I see it a black photo. 

If I’m totally bugging let me know. 

The photos of what I drew are here. I have seeming them for 6+ months. I think one or more contribute to the schizophrenia. 



Numb 👤 Etheric Overlays

So …. I have noticed for a while now a numb sensation. 

At first I thought it was because I wasn’t moving as much. But YOU KNOW ME overly aware all the time.

So I noticed my hands going numb (especially around the phone). And when I looked there were one of those circles there. Noticed my thighs for months now. 

I noticed my feet/ ankle going numb. And then I felt that energy move up my leg that’s what prompted me to write about it.

Ive seen foreign energy move under my skin and then leave a mark. Either a pictogram (or emoji like) or an X. 

It’s so gross seeing your skin move. Its not like an aliens gonna pop out…. Its like a wave. Its more meshed WITH the skin than under it. 

That’s how the burn me, and talk to me, and poke, vibrate …. Rape. “Punch”…… Is by merging with the human cell or the space in between cells and causing an illusionary sensation.

Hands, arms, feet, thighs. And then my core and head is a whole other thing with etheric animals and beings coming and going as they please. Just …. Uhg. And my 3rd eye is pretty much a big gaping hole at this point. 

And they won’t stop, won’t shut up, won’t leave, won’t provide any “contracts”.

—————– 

The Demonic Archon Alien tried to say its prepping my body for the Isis etheric overlay. 😩😞😒

Suck an etheric dick. 

I said NO! 

“Remember Who Gave You Your Crown” 👑

“Remember Who Gave You Your Crown”, the Entity said to me posing as my Ex (twin flame). The story was of Isis and Osiris. And I was to be his Queen. Many image themselves as Kings and Queens, Gods and Goddesses. But I wanted to be me. 

I hadn’t fully realized I was in what I called “Opposite World”. Everything was flipped, Everything was a lie, and even if I figured that something was a lie, that could be a lie too. Its a set up. And you never win. I had no choice but to play along until I figured out what was happening to me. I cried so much. 

I felt my head become hot and tender. I literally felt like my skull had been opened and exposed. Like my brain was bring directly spoken into. It was loud.

I had read that this COULD be symptoms of kundalini or the opening of the crown chakra, also known as a halo, and the “soul star chakra”. I tried to understand. Little did I know. 

In opposite world everything is a lie, everything is an opposing force to the very essence of your being. When I was told “remember who gave you your crown”, I didn’t realize the very opposite was happening. I wasnt being given a “crown”, my crown was being taken away. My mind was no longer mine. I didn’t have control, I didn’t have room. I mean I still don’t fully. 

This was a check mate.

Using my Ex (Twin Flame) as a guise to get inside my head for lord knows what, for god knows what reasons.

I was shot down from my throne. Viciously attacked ….. Constantly attacked to the point of debilitation. 

I will still never understand why.

Now my home is under attack. The are the shadow spots that spew these things at me. I can’t see everything. But I can see and feel enough. 

My body is reacting to the attacks again. Rashes, burning.

The Entities would say “I WIN!”, but it won by showing me visions of child sexual abuse until I gave up and decided to die crying in my bed. Everyday.

If that’s winning ….. I’m OK with loosing.

But I want to fight back. I’m tired of my mind being a canvas for its sick images. 

👑🙏😢

“Astral Sex | How to Achieve Out of Body Sex (Safely)” ? 🙅🙏👽

First Fuck this guy!

When I first heard of astral ANYTHING….. I read that one should be cautious of having sex there for they may attach to you and reek havok in your life. So that instantly turned me off since I wouldn’t know what I was doing.

Over the last two years I have an attachment that I have no idea how I got that was trying to seem like it was my Ex (“twin falme”) having “astral sex” naming my ex’s name, then Osiris and then Gregory. As soon as I said no it became daily rape. Constant rape…. To this day. Rape.

This dude is literally opening up a portal and allowing anything to come and go as they please for his own personally gratification.

Because communication is “telepathic” and can seem as mind control, the Entity has tried to convince me that I want it. Or begging for it, especially as I am waking up from sleep.

I’ve said in a previous post (Alien Love Bite) that I believe that many Astral Entities cause the drama of a “Twin Flame” love story so it can isolate you and keep you for its own means. Many people in the “separation phase” tend to stay celibate waiting for their lover to return, but all the while communicating with them “telepathically” during that time. Since you are too afraid (false implanted thought), to contact them you rarely have the chance to confirm this telepathy with them. I’m sure most are ashamed of having this astral sex with their supposed “twin flame” and won’t talk about it or admit it. Everything is sacred and a secret….. RIGHT! Except I’m being fuckint raped. That’s why they keep you from your lover! So they can use you in ways a narcissist hasn’t even dreamed of. 

Fuck this guy! Opening up portals and letting shit in that van harm people. All so he can get laid by some astral avatar looking chick?

Get your whole fucking life together! All of it! 

I have to sit here and be raped all day while there is completely willing idiots looking for this shit. It’s so fucked up! 

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