Unpopular Opinion: Christianity is against telling the future, but a 3rd of the Bible is prophetizing

I will admit that im still chugging along through the bible. But i also grew up Christian so i remember some general stuff.

I guess what i don’t understand is that “soothsaying” which is predicting the future is bad and demonic…… But the prophecies in the bible are not.

So……. My issue isnt God. My issue is man. Man is clearly flawed. Even holy men like apostle Paul had “a thorn in his side” which many believe meant he was tormented by a demon ….. Even Jesus was visited by Satan in the desert. We are not protected from demons in this flesh suit to be honest.

So I just wonder in both the creation and the translation of the bible where there could be flaws…… Or where there could have been moments that men were visited by a demon posing as holy being or God.

I only say this because the voices i hear tried to positioned themselves as God. And i was like LOL HELL NO. My pastor Mike Todd said that in the bible it said that “in the end days” even Gods elect will be decieved. Because its like these demons all went and had a conference meeting in hell Satan brought the starbucks, they broke out into some working groups …. Did some think mapping for new ways to decieve humans and get us off track. And boom we got 2019.

Also the visions of the “end days” are WILD! To be honest what is to say THAT is a holy vision? Its not very clear number one….. Like an whole ass eon later people are still trying to figure it out. Those seem more like astral visions the same that Christians speak against to be honest. And i mean the Book if Enoch was like WAY TOO much for the Christians to handle in terms of astral visions. So they decides to to just exclude it from the bible.

And this is why i say my issue is with man….. Not with God. I mean of course God could of added a virus demon protection system to this flesh but we can thank Eve and Adam for all that hot mess. But still. Im not sure if man really really really knows whats going on……. And its our need to know that gets us in trouble. When its our FAITH that us needed.

So unpopular opinion. I’m not 100% sure about some of the bible or man or how man uses it. All i got is this mustard seed inside me ….. My faith and love for God. That’s all i got to navigate through all of this spiritual stuff, on top of being spiritually attacked and oppressed at the same time.

Trying to navigate through all this informations….. And if its real….. Or true….. And it conflicts with what’s in my heart…. It feels gross. It makes me feel gross and i dont like it. Im just use to being in joy and loving God…. And not all this confusion and which way is up or down and whats the right or wrong answer to the test you already failed.


Will the truth ever come out?

Will the truth ever come out in my life time?

Like if this some Targeted Individual technology will there be justice for all that has suffered across the world?

If this is reptilian archon mantis grey aliens attack will they ever come out of hiding? What are we going to do?

Demons? Will God avenge for their evil deeds? Soon? I hope!

Schizophrenia? Medication that actually works?

I WOULD LOVE to tell my family friends SEE I TOLD I WASN’T CRAZY!

I honestly could not make this stuff up in my brain. I don’t know why they want to ruin my life.

I guess i say this because i woke up from a name and there is a plasma light that keeps coming and going in my eye or 3rd eye whatever….. So it lights up what i would not normally see with my eyes close so i see the shadows of whats attached to me. This time AGAIN i saw the outline of a little alien dude in a space ship. this is maybe the 3rd time i have seen this. It looks so…….. Cartoony that its hard to believe its real….. Idk but it is what i saw. They all look cartoony i guess.

So im like is it the alien dude in a space ship or is it the reptilian or is a demon im over it i need answers im so over it.

Whatever bye. Lol.

Church: Honor?

About the 36:00 mark.

So honor.

Honor hasn’t been that much of an issue for me. I’ve respect most living beings.

I guess my issue is with the real enemy. These demons that have been torturing me for years. I have my eye on buying a Telsa Coil that is suppose work on sending electromagnetic pulses through the body getting rid of morgenella, parasites and they said etheric attachments as well.

But am I suppose to honor and wait on God? I can’t deal with these sick thought one more day! How do you honor a demon? Why would you honor? A best I feel bad for them as they are slaves to their nature. They do not know true love, joy they just observe it. Mimic it. Badly at that.

Can I honor a demon as it ruins my life and rapes me?

Inspirational Memes and Frustration

I get a bunch of religious or spiritual inspirational memes like this on my Instagram feed and like any other time in my life i would be with it…….. But im just so flipping gosh darn frustrated!

Demonic reptillian alien schizophrenic take over got me WEAK…. For real. I can’t. And like ive heard some people just stopped hearing shit. Others been struggling 20 years ++++. Like i dont know what my story holds and its freaking me out.

Im legit freaking out. Im over it. Its like having a roach under your skin and you want to just cut yourself open and grab it out. Like some real drastic shit like that. Im just so disgusted. I want to just jump out of this body that has failed to protect me from these vile creatures. I mean shouldnt that have been like … Idk …. Like top of the priority list when God made us? No demonic aliens can hack our biosystems. Only our lord God!

Yuuuuuuuuuuuck! Yuck! Yuck yuck yuck!

I can’t even see how anything with intelligence or sanity would be willing to even act like this. And im starting to use their words like “dammit” i never say dammit! But they say dammit like 500 time a fucking day or 4 years now im saying dammit! I hate this!

What in THIS WORLD IS THIS PREPARING ME FOR?! OR is this another lie? Just like all thos lying ass new agers. “Oh you’re attacked cause you’re a twin flame purging for the colkective and your twin….” ….😔 “oh you’re being attacked because youre a star seed light worker sent to help anchor light in the planet…they want your light juices” 😔 “”oh you’re 144k sent to save humanity” ……. Well folks if thats the case i am failing EPICALLY. So many excuses for this spiritual abuse …….. Now its Gods preparing me …… WHAT THE FUCK DOES DEMONIC RAPE FOR 3.5 FUCKING YEARS STRAIGHT ALL DAY GOTTA TO DO WITH WHATS GOD PREPARING ME FOR? Serious question!

Like this is major shit!

This isn’t oh i didnt get that job. Or oh i did get approved for that car loan. Didnt get into the school i wanted.

This is my life!!! My life force! My soul!

I am being bebased on the daily.

So i see these memes and ME….. Not the voices though im sure they have joined in, im like “YEA RIGHT!” Creating this…… Negativity and slowly possibly animosity towards God because of what is happening. And i feel bad about that too. But im following the logic and demonic rape = preppin for a blessin 😳 im not really seeing the correlation. And its fucking me up to even think like that.

Wonder if this is really my life forever ever? Just laying here being raped by demon to point i dont have energy to go outside or do much. Its so fucked up.

I miss the feeling of my body when i didnt have these demons inside of me. They evwn make my skin or muscles feel tight and im always trying to stretch them out but them comevrigjt back in it pointless.

I just needed to get this out.


Sister Sister: Headache (and energy work) 👭

So i am just making a note that my sister is having a really bad head ache and was not feeling well for no reason today.

I havent had head pressure all day. I also had a guy my friend recommended to me do some “energy work” I said sure why not since it was free. And now im wondering if the Entity just jumped to my sister cause she is not looking so good.

If it was removed aimlessly with out transmuting it so it doesnt jump, then thats not energy work and is dangerous. This is a perfect example why! My twin sister is super sensitive since she had the stroke in 2016 (the same time I became schizophrenic). She took one step outside today and said she could not do it and she NEVER says things like that. She said the sun was too bright and she felt like she was going to fall and felt dizzy. Light sensitivity (as well as touch and sound smell) can all be signs of entity attachments.

So now i am fucking scared for my sister. I actually didnt make the connection until much later cause i still heard the voices and just assumed the guys energy work didnt work. But he might have removed the headache. But i have noticed that some healers remove the smaller ones (say the migraine one) and not the main entities (the one orchestrating the whole thing) during sessions which is usually pointless.

So its like either I suffer with a burning migraine from hell or worry that my family members are being attacked by these demons in one way or another. The migraine on is a really a doozy tho. Like you dont want to do NOTHING AT ALL!

I mean there is the possibility that it all could be a coincidence. Or they are just playing a game with me today to see if i get all rilled up.


Hearing Voices: The Enemy vs God

Pastor Mike Todd of Transformation Church said in the first 6 minutes of his message this week;

I don’t know what happens to you when you lose money, but I get a pain like right in this area of my stomach, I don’t want to eat, I’m frustrated that stuff shouldn’t be frustrating, and this was a little thing but when I let my emotions in, that little thing just be open, just a little bit, the enemy started whisper said, maybe you weren’t supposed to be in Miami, maybe you weren’t supposed to minister here, maybe you’re not hearing from God anymore, maybe you’re not supposed to lead that church, maybe you’re not even supposed to be a pastor! It went from I lost my cell phone……. no I’m trying to tell you, to maybe you don’t need to preach ever again! And the reason I’m saying it like this because this is what’s happening in your life every day! It’s like these little things keep coming at you and you know you’re marked by God but if we leave room for the enemy you go from maybe I don’t ever ever want to have kids no more because they didn’t eat their mac and cheese?! ” (sorry had a glitch)  

This was the first time I heard a pastor actually talk about hearing the enemy or demon. Most just want to seem holy and wouldn’t say anything like that. But I feel like he accurately describes EXACTLY how the enemy speaks and suggests in the mind. NO LIES. This man is the truth!

It is so important to find ways to talk about these truths with out condemning people. because honestly i feel/felt like a spiritual leper and wanted to die. Some days i still want to die to be honest. I’m bound to this body infested with spiritual entities that just go in and out as they please. Earth is a trap house and feel stuck. And it I thought it was so beautiful. i mean it is… but then. I don’t know some day. There is so much to do. i mean we can’t even get migrant kids off the concrete floors of concentration camps here in America. So.

I talked a bit to my mom about how do you know its God or a Demon speaking in relation to schizophrenia. She said God is silent. I mean I guess i can kind of understand that. Cause these demons are LOUD even when try to be silent. The also repeat themselves over and over and over again.

I’m just glad this was touched on from a modern Christian perspective. Because so many are suffering and are misguided. Now that i found a place to learn more about the Bible, i have to figure a way to authentically devote and worship God. I’m not sure what that looks or feels likes. Honestly i just thought devoting my life to service and being a good person and being thankful. But while i know i am enough. i know that it’s not enough at the same time and maybe i am being ask to being God and Jesus deeper into my life with a deeper understanding of how the world works.

i still don’t know what do with my life yet. I am just a sitting duck. Just trying to keep the faith.


Communities I Keep an Eye On 👀

Spiritual Community: This mainly includes: twin flames, 144,000, light workers, kundalini, spiritual awakening, ascension, channeled messages, The Event, 5D, entities attachments and attacks, energy, healing, empaths, occultist/ esoteric. Meditiation, Many different spiritual/religious belief systems in one place. Incubus, spirit husbans, reptilian,archons, matrix, star seeds, ancient cultures,

Alien Encounter Community: understanding acturian, paladian, grey, reptillian, mantis beings. Channeled messages. Earth bound conscious abductions. Star seeds, 5d earth, the event,

Targeted Individuls Community: gang stalking, street theater, mk ultra, v2k, project paper clip, nano technology, chem trails, electronic harrassment and torture, Morgenellas, CERN, EMF radiation, ELF waves, government patents.

Schizophrenic Community: paranoia, delusional states of being (even if you are right), anti-psychotic medications, symptoms mimick that of targeted individuals and spiritually opressed people (or vice versa), being seen as crazy, healing, theraphy, cognative behavioural therapy, transpersonal therapy, carl jung’s shadow work, hearing voices as a large scope of people rather than just schizophrenics (who twnd to have a negative experience). Sub vocal speech article,

Christian Community: Are they voice hearers? Hearing the voice of God? Is it God? The Event? Is the same as the rapture? Armageddon? Understanding demons/spirits through a Christian/ religious lens. Book of Enoch. Keeping/strengening my faith in God through all of this, the 144,000, Jesus, history. Story of Job, of Paul, of, Saul and Jesus all having been taunted by demons and the devil in the bible.


Most people i have met are stead fast on their path and stick to their path. Thats fine. I found that there are MANY similarities between the the belief systems. And thats just in the 3rd Dimensional world explination.

Could it be that all the alien encounters, hundreds of praised gods and goddesses were just spirits or major demons trying take Gods glory because they simple could? I mean the Entity here with me has NO problem saying they are God and rape me in the next moment. Sick right? That is enough to make anyone to loose faith. Its a win win situation for them. Either they make someone loose faith in the One True God OR they Get some one to believe they ARE God or an authority of sorts.

But that is besides the point. These are the main communities i have studies and i have reached a plateau in my research. I can see them, hear them, feel their gross energy. Ive drawn what i have seen. They conflict with some of my research. And i havent found anyone i can use as a sound board to really confirm much of what i see. But definitely confirmed what we hear and feel. Visions and and hallucinations are a bit different. A vision is in your minds eye. A hallucination is standing in your living room you can walk around it. But they are not 3d theybare more flat 2d line drawings i can walk around.

Anyway the plateau is frustrating. Cause i want to move beyound this or i want it to be over.

Its my anthropological mind that got me here. Im always too curious. Why…. How? Whats the story? I could not accept this as a broken brain. I was hearing words and phrases i never even heard before. I had to google them.

I have heard people who have been cured of their affliction similar to mine to mine through medication, but also though shamic healing, also through prayerand the grace of God, some meditation, so im just wonder IF i will ever find my healing.

I mean being all over the map has both a blessing and a curse. In one way as i research and went to healers who gave me information that conflicted with something in the storyline the demons were creating. First it was telepathy as twin flames with my ex as were supposedly fractions of Isis and Osiris souls. 😔 spare me. Then when i rejected that they went on to say i was being raped and called a child molestor because i was “paying for my father” which was my dad was accused of molesting me which he didnt (i wrote about it many times in this blog you can search it). Then they weree trying to convince me they were God by blacki g me out like 3 or 4 times. Then when i started seeing them and they looked like alien or reptilian or demon trolls heads floating around…. Things got UBER confusing but that didnt stop their torure one bit.

So jumping around helped me understand most of it was bullshit. BUT the path to actual healing looks future away. Or confusing. Amd no salt baths and picturing a bright white light around me did not work.

I was recently told i am one of the 144k and a light worker and i have no idea what that even means. To me i was wouldn’t have have the innate power to blast these things away? Just saying. I just feel like 4 years of my short life has been wasted all to a demon. This is not why i was born. To be raped by demons all day everyday.

Im still pushing through tho. I still wish i had a mentor that could help me ubderstand this stuff. If im going to stuck with them might as welm make them my lab rat expiriments. Since thats what they are doing to me. Fuck em.

Hearing Voices: Hearing God? 😱


So……..this is the kind of stuff that really complicates my faith in Christianity. Not so much in God ….. But Christianity.

I am baffled. A a voice hearer. As someone who hears demonic voices. Sees many alien looking demons swimming around in space…… How and when do we know it is truly the voice of God?

We know for a fact that man altered the Bible to during slavery era here in America to brainwash African slave be submissive to their “masters”.

How do we know that the bible was ever altered before for any political gains? And it just wasn’t exposed?

Apparently there are books that were taken out. I know the “book of enoch” was one. I think there were a few others. So ……. This what i mean by i dont trust men with my faith.

It is so hard to navigate this world with what is in my heart. It seems sooo simple and yet…… It is so difficult.

This dude really just said he would rape and kill his own children for God. 😳

So yea……. Like these alien demons had NO problem acting like my grandpa who passed, telpathy with my ex (accurate telepathy too), angels, aliens, goddess Isis, gang stalkers, people on tv, GOD, demons, anything really.

So…… … Im still in shock.

So how does he know it is God and not one of these demon things trying to make him carry out a hanous act? How about a life time in prison?

I’m so confused.


After some meditation on this sensational post above i realized that this person….. If a true Christian, he should know that God sacrificed is son Jesus so that 1. Our sins would be forgiven and 2. The ultimate sacrifice so no othe sacrifices were necessary.

Saying something like this is ignorant and sensational and triggering to be honest. There are other ways to express your love and faith for God other than raping and killing a thousand children. As well as to prove your point. SMH.

I just dont get peoples mode of thinking really. And I GOTTA BE THE CRAZY ONE!

Sex and Suffering 💔

After my break up with my ex (false twin flame) in the summer of 2015. I tried dating to get over him maybe 6 months later. But every date I went on ended up turning into sex even though i didnt want it to. And i didnt know how to say no.

In my head….. We would talk all night, maybe make out, eat some good food. But it would quickly become sexual and i would blame myself for being there in the first place and i didnt want to be disliked or for the situation to turn ugly like it has the other times i had said no (rape). Being a people pleaser sucks some times. I did this about 3 or 4 times thinking each time would different. But it wasnt.

I felt like things were spiraling out of control. I mean i had this break up with my ex, i had this energy of obsessesion which i didnt feel connected to and it was driving me crazy cause it was like being split in two. I didn’t want to feel this feeling of obsession that i never felt before. I wanted it to stop. So i did what i would normal do. Move on. But i kept being met with the dudes that just wanted to hook up and i didnt know how to navigate.

In December of 2015 i hung out with with MMA fighter dude, he seemed cool. But i did hear a voice say “SHE SUCKING KARMAS DICK NOW!” as MMA guy walked into the other room (so i didnt see him say it). I thought he was talking about an ex or something. But i didnt make a big deal out of it. So on New Years 2016 he asked me to hang out but i realized this once i met him this was after he had already hung out with his friends and got lit. And that was a bit of a turn off. We made out and he asked me to call him “pappi”which im not latinx and not my thing and then wanted me to go down on him, which i did hestitantly and he knew i wasnt into because he said why was i looking at him like that. It was because i was disappointed.

I will also be honest and i am ashamed to say that i thought in hindsight that engaging in sex would prolong my stay after traveled all the way out to see this person and after he said he was tired, i knew that was my que to leave. So i realized it was the voices that said “shes sucming Karmas dick now!” But they dont always make sense but then they do in a strange fucked up way.

After that day i was over it. I was tired of being used….. I wasnt getting what ibwant which was a solid relationship with someone who respected, cared and loved me. And so i made a choice to be celibate.

Then my world started to crumble.

The voices became more predominant. My dad had a really scary heart surgery, my gay uncle died out of no where, my twin sister had a stroke. It was woa. And the voices were pretending to be telepathy with my ex (false twin flame). And i was loosing it all. Complete reality melt down.

Then the voices kept saying “wait for A(ex)” (relationship/sex) and another would say “for the rest of you life!”. They would make it seem likecwe were going to get back sometime and othertime like we would never get back together.

The voices would ask “would say dont ask for anything!” And i thought this was telepathy with my ex. But then a female voice came in a bunch of time and asked ” what do you want? A house, a car, money?” After saying “nothing” hundreds of times i said a house, because my dumb ass thought that my ex and i family could live together in a nice big house. But mainly i wanted to stopped being asked this question over and over again. And a male voice said “who would want a house in this economy?!”. A female voice said “don’t you mean you want A(ex) ?!”. I thought i had answered the question wrong. I thought it was suppose to be him and not something material. Idk. So i said FINE my ex!

Thats when everything went down hill. The voices acted as my ex and his roommate or best friend (female voice) interchangeably. “My ex” (the demon voices) would force me to have orgasms randomly through the day. His friends harrassed me, tortured me in ways i didnt know was possible. Screamed all day. Cursed at me. Called me all sorts of names. Burning my vagina, giving me migraines that felt like brain aneurysms, at night my body would feel like it was floating, i mean i could go on and on and onhow i was torture. They would say he was with some one new and prettier than me. And I just could not understand why he was toying with me and doing the orgasms and sex stuff. It felt wrong. So i asked to stop and they wouldnt.

It wasn’t until i denounced the twin flame did things started to get even worse. The visions went from harassing to abusive. Andcshowing images of child sexual abuse. Even my ex abusing children from my job. I mean it was BAD. Lime really fucking bad. To the point i has to quit my job. And they were calling me a “child molester” and saying i was now suffering “in the place of my father” (who was wrongfully accused of molesting me). All the while they were raping me. After i quit my job i said well now im now i cant be a child molester cause there are children to molest (being facetious). Boy was that a bad idea. Then they kept showing me sick images and i called them pedos and then they started calling me a pedo! 😓 fucking hate my entire life. Seriously.

So after about 9 months of celibacy and tripping balls, loosing everything, being psychically attackedin ways i didnt even know was possible. I decided needed an adult sexual relationship cause i was really getting sick of the pedo shit and it was scaring me.

In October of 2016 started dating this one guy out in jersey. I told him inwas in a fragile state because i had a mental break down. I still didnt understand it fully. I mean i still dont most days. I told him i wanted to hold off of on having sex. We went on a few dates karaoke and nice dinners. And indecised to go to his house deep in Jersey. Again i told him i didnt want to have sex before hand. Affection and kissing and spending time with each other is fine. But before you know it i literally turned around for a moment and turned back around anf he was completely naked begging me to go down on him. And again i didnt know what to do. I should have known better AGAIN. I thought telling him ahead of time that my boundary would be respected. And i was in the middle of bumbba nowhere new jersey with no real way out till the next day.

We dated for 4 weeks and he planned the “Sweetest Day” which is celebrated on the 3rd Saturday of October and is kind of like a Valentines Day. The week before i was having really bad psychosis and it took a toll on me physically so i didnt have the energy to make it all the way out to Jersey. Then the next week was the sweetest day. But my grandma passed away. And he had thr NERVE to get mad at me. Like really actually raising his voice and stressing me out mad at me for canceling plans (not last minute either). So after that i was done for a while.

Also the voices kept saying “i cant wait for “great day”(my grandma catch phrase)” or “for the shoe to drop” meaning she was going to pass. I chose not to believe them cause everyone said they feed of of fear abd sadness. But they got me. They told the future AGAIN.

Either way i tried dating a schiz guy in December thinking he would be more sensitive that DID NOT go well either. He actually smacked me in my face during sex and then denied the whole thing. Also the voices were involving themselves in my sex life saying “yea i like it like that” and being gross as usual.

I mean they quickly bypassed the crazy and really sticking to this disgusting for a while now.

SO after ALL THAT HOT MESS I was celibate for two years 2017/2018. All the while hunkering down and just sutting through the rape and molestation and burns and abuse and sick visions and scary hallucinations and fatigue….. Electrocution ….. You name it. I cant even name all the abuse.

Then after two years i wanted to just talk to someone …… And thought i would JUST TALK to talk. Buti met a military guy who i thought i could have something special with. He seemed kind and really understanding that i had schizophrenia and talked about how he wanted me to have his babies. And so i thought THIS TIME introduce him to my family. And we dated for a few weeks. I thought this one was going to be long lasting from the way he talked to me. And then when i went to his house i wanted to but after 3 times having sex he just ghosted.

So no matter how i tried to do things different it doesnt matter it just keeps being a waste of time. I just wanted someone to hold me through all of this scary shit and tell me its ok. And love me and tell me im beautiful when the voices tell me im ugly.

All these guys were such a waste of time and i feel like such an idiot. And i really wish inwould have known better. And i wish i could take it all back and said NO and just had the courage to walk out. Because nothing amounted to anything.

Now i am back on my celibacy tip. Since like a month ago from military dude. And idk. Kust writing it out. I secretly want someone to be there but it is not worth the risk at this point. I just figured the voices WANT(ed) me to be alone and isolated so they can rape me and wouldnt cultivate love in my life. To be honest.

But im kot doing that either way. So its useless.

Whatever. 💔