The point .ย 

So what’s the point of all this? 

Almost every belief torn down for what? 

Torn down and still shimmers in its beauty, essence, goodness. Beautiful stones that were used to build prisons.

So now what? 

I will not bow down.

You and your kind have lied to my people. Misguided…. And divided. And we are done. The lies are sooooo deep we even think they are good.

So why are you still here?

I am no longer interested in entertaining your game…. Or play… Deception

We’ve come to a point….  And your side seems desperate.

Leave!

Sister Sister (part 4)

Last year (maybe 2 week – a month) prior to my twin sister having a stroke in March 2016. My sister and I had a verbal fight. I’m not sure what it was about but sisters fight and we made up as normal. After that I kept hearing on the streets “You should be nice to your sister”. I heard this maybe two or three times.

My full on experience didn’t start until December 2015 with prep work of crying EVERYday from June 2015 – December 2015 as much as I wanted to stop. So it was a slow decline after the break up with my ex (twin flame).

I said 2016 I was going to forget about my ex and take a break from dating because the crying thing was too much. So I took a spiritual bath and worked on trying to get happy again. Later I heard “Bless this house

So jump back to March 2016 I went to pick my bike from Brooklyn my sister had the stroke which was at my best friends house (soul mate ex) and I told him about what I was experiencing. I said something to the extent that “it was like having every fear yours or not being thrown at you at once.” He actually started to cry. I didn’t know if he understood or felt sorry for me.

So I took my bike and was about to ride it but it had a flat and so I got on the train and soon as I got of the train my dad called and said I my sister was in the hospital because she had a stroke.

Other than crying and riding my bike with a flat tire home first so I could go see my sister, I actually don’t remember the rest of the day

My sister spent 5 months in a nurse home (a shit one at that but it was the only one in the borough). During those 5 months I went through my own personal hell with this demon Voice Entity thing. It was acting as my ex (twin flame), and it was acting as people at my job, it was raping me everynight and calling me a child molestor around children. I mean as I said I thought I was being punked or it was a practical joke cause I know I am not one. So even started making light of it. But no. It wasn’t…. And it didn’t stop.

I was at my job having all kinds of crazy visions, my body was trembling. My head felt like it was in a vice. I would go home after to hear all kinds of crazy shit coming off the TV or outside. The voice saying “send her a brain anurism” or “send her cum” or something still acting like it was my ex (twin flame) put a curse on me. Making me hear my ex having sex. Hearing all kinds of racist, sexist, disgusting, things all day. 

At one point the I wondered if I was having stroke. Or if this Entity was forcing me to have one with at that “energy” head ache that I was feeling. I mean my sister had one so I thought maybe I was having one too. But then I wondered if this same “energy” ….. this same “Entity” caused my sister to have a stroke as well.

I started freaking out and screaming at the Entity, I called it every name in the book. It said, “I didn’t…. I didn’t!”. But at the time it was saying that evetything it said was “the opposite” …… So i didnt know whay to think. I wanted to believe my sisters stroke was just medical, that my mind was just in fear. That the stroke had nothing to do with what I was hearing. That the Entity was only trying to scare me.

So I let it go and just prayed for my sisters recovery. 

My sister finally came home in July 2016. I had already quit my job, cut my hair and just got out of the psyche ward with no relief. I spent my last paycheck on a psychic lady who said she could help me remove this “spirit” …. She didn’t. 

My sister came home I was on meds and for some reason I was the only person in my home would actually hear my sister call out at night for help to the bathroom. But sometime her call would wake me out of my sleep. Not in a normal way. Sometimes I would be pushed or jolted out of my sleep to hear her call…. But she would would be asleep and actually call me moments later to go to the bathroom. 

The Entity also “foretold” when my Ex would call me, when my mother “lord have mercy” was going to have a heart attack. When my grandmother “Great day” was going to pass. Said it was waiting for the “other shoe to drop”, predicting my mother having a stroke this year 2017. I actually thought the other shoe dropping was ME. I mean this Entity kept telling if not forcing me to kill myself…. Or run away from my family. On my birthday March 2016 I heard “Rest In Peace”….. Sounding as my ex. Idk I thought I was gonna die. I felt like I was dying. Squeezed and left to dry in the hot sun. I told the Entity that it was trying to kill “Get it over with!”. 

Now its tryingbto say I will get cancer. Or I’m going to die next year. “Last year”. I mean since this has happened my health has declined in a short period of time.

So I’m at this place where is this Entity….. Whatever it is….. Telling the future or causing it? 

I can’t see how it can actually tell the future. Where there are so many possibilities. But take opportunities to steer people into a particular direction? Or forcefully to get the job done?

Sigh. 

Vibrational Match ๐Ÿƒ

This Entity didn’t step in until I had a terrible break up. It also didn’t move to calling me child molestor until I realized I (personally) had moved on from my ex. 

However while it has “lessened” in volume the Entity is still here. Preparing to hide. Keeps me from enjoying anything as simple as diner with the family. So it must keep hitting the same buttons over and over and over again in order to maintain control or “keep me at a vibrational match”. 

I am having a hard time, figuring out that next step. I mean I keep trying to test myself and take baby steps like going to therapy. But my therapist quit and was told by the company that she wasn’t allowed to see me privately. So . . .. 

Going outside for something as simple as a walk is also difficult as this Entity takes the opportunity to go HAM an puts on a “set/cast” sounding like many different people which is overwelming. And even if i maintain composure through it all…. It still chokes me or tightens the grip on my head or exploits an emotion or even insights one usually ending in crying. So it must maintain these action of upsetting me in order to control. Oppress.

I still see the single flashing white light in my left eye that was never there before (apparently my eyes are perfect). I know that if I consume weed it also takes advantage of that as well to try and scare me.

This has moved far beyond “emotional clearing” or “residual subconscious material”. I can’t even see this as a “dark night of the soul” because half this shit has nothing to do with my soul or even shadow work and has moved into emotional, mental, physical and spiritual abuse long time ago. 

I have no idea what the next step is in order to step into my power. I keep trying though.

False Awakenings?

Is it possible my Entity attack is or was a false awakening. Was my looking for answers as to why I saw shadows and sparkles what inspired this Entity to make it SEEM like a beautiful awakening at first only for it to be a lure.. A trap to scare me into killing myself?

I mean if anything my Ego has gotten HUGE during this process. I had to because I was being told I was a way I knew myself not be. I was being told this is what my subconcious looks like…. I had to wade and affirm information. So yes my Ego had to puff its chest and fight other wise I would have been dead.

Love + Light, I’ve ran out of the abundance I had. It literally feel like it was one day to the next. Light, lite, actual light sun energy, our inside spark AND keeping things lite… Forgiveness, letting go….. moving on. I feel like I’m in the middle of no where, unable to see …. Only discern …. But no sight ….. And figuring out how and why I am being attacked. The times I have tried to love this being like I would anyone else it would then turn it into sexual energy…. And usually energetic rape. 

This is not an awakening. 

Someone said all it is is thoughts. Sensations are from thoughts…. Ect…  I just don’t see it.

Isolation…. I do not feel all connected…. I’ve never felt more isolated in my life. I’m normally ok spending time with myself. But now I have this unwelcomed guest who disrespects my home. MY HOME. How much more isolation? 

How many more tricks? I can’t even make these tricks/shows/scenes up…..

I thought awakening was waking up to who I truly am ….. But so far its been nothing but lies…. I’m not a fucking child molestor in any life, time or fucking space. I’m not fucking Isis, and I’m not killing myself for NO ONE….. Osiris, ex twin flame, my mother, God….. NO ONE!!!! Shit is fucking lame.

I feel less “awaken”…….. I have to sleep just to cope. How am I awakened if I’m sleeping all fucking day???? What fucking use is that? 

I see people out here chilling and welcoming beings in their life….. And playing with them…. And I’m over here with my jaw on the ground like what the fuck y’all doing? Shit wanted to take my life for shits and giggles.

Over here like I’m “opening my mind to consciousness” …. When its just an Entities continuous stream of thought interrupting my own. Who the fuck said that is “consciousness”, I could barely even think for a nano second with out it being interupted. Being isolated and feed disgusting thoughts like fucking farmed pig? What the fuck is expansive about that?

Dark knight of the soul? WHY? Like life isn’t already?! Like we don’t try to make the best of all the fuckery going on in this shit show…… Nooooooo we have to make some sort of botch awakening, alien abduction, drag me to hell fucking nightmare. Shit is fucked. … NO my soul DID NOT AGREE to this bullshit before it got here. Promise you that shit….. My soul ain’t that fucking stupid. ….. Shit is fucked. I’m tired of being blocked!!!! I want this thing gone!!!

I’m trying to figure out if these concepts are luring us into a process with these Beings OR if these Beings are simply inspired by any concept it can get its hands on. Including religion.

I’m only allowed one to two hour intervals of sleep because the Entity will wake me up because its fucking bored. Seriously?!?!?!?

Tired of this? Promise you I wasn’t born for this Entity to play with!

Watch “Spirit & Entity Possession, Soul Loss, Soul Retrieval, and The Energy Game of Earth” on YouTube

Take the best and leave the rest. But conceptual interesting. 

I am unsure what exactly is happening to me. Schizophrenia, kundalini, awakening, demonic psychic attack, ect. Unsure, but I know what ever it is feels very much outside of me, outside my control ….. A non natural response to sensory factors in my everyday life. 

To have not only have my memories/ intentions/ beliefs “skewed” by an entity or voice, but also have my natural responses to things around me feel just as skewed….. The opposite ….. That it is telling. To me that is a major point.

If someone doesn’t know or can’t tell what is the TRUTH then in a sense their power is gone. They are basing their actions and beliefs on a lie. But in the same side letting go can also be powerful as well. Letting go that you may not know.

I could list all the ways in which this entity has interfered in my life by super imposing itself as other people, or gentle whispers. I can also list all the “truamas” in my life in hopes to find a good reason…. That this happened to me. Maybe I will maybe I won’t. But the most important thing is that it kind of doesn’t matter. Like Yea maybe you weren’t nice to someone but that doesn’t mean you can’t be to the next. Do I want to live my whole entire life reliving a few fuck ups over and over and not look at all the great things I’ve done? How I persevered? How I tried to return the kindness? Its not about being boastful but balanced. No ones perfect. 

Do you know or remember who you really are? Is that who you want to be? 

I’m still going through it, though the volume and sensations are “less intense”, the themes are the same, the fuckery is the same. And I will have to eventually forgive myself for falling for for it (what I know and don’t know). However this video talks about trauma, and how our “souls” / energy is loss through this process which gives “access” to theses beings. Or that is at least was is told. 

I guess what I’m saying is if the “past trauma” comes up AND/OR is preyed upon by dark energies to maintain control …… How do I know that the “trauma” from expierencing this won’t pop up or has left a gapping hole whatever. Because this shit was more twisted and fucked up then any of the “traumas” or fuck ups I have ever made. 

Just saying. 

Scooby Doo Mysteryย 

  • I’ve noticed that the entity only foretells the passing or health crisis of people on my moms side of the family and not my fathers at all. 
  • It’s been with me since I was young the furthest I can recall seeing a shadows is when I moved to NYC when I was 15. But there is a possibility that it was there prior.
  • I think the entity is obsessed with me because it used my ex to make me obsessed with it, And use my childhood fear (molestation, sexual abuse) to turn me off from being with anyone else.

I will update this periodically.

  • Does not believe in God and wants to convince me there is no God.
  • Might be a “fallen angel”, demon of some sort.