Keeping it Lite 💡

I’m having a difficult time with being between the fact that the demons have ruined my life in unimaginable ways (described in this blog), caused my sister to have a stroke, my mom to have a stroke and heart attack……… AND trying to be normal fun loving me, AND having to be a warrior and take these demons on.

They never shut up……. they are always doing black magic….. I have no defense against them other than the fact I can see them, an iPhone camera and a keen sense of self, but that doesn’t stop them.

I don’t “play” with them as much as they play with me mostly as I wake up and then throughout the day.

If I knew how to make this stop I would.

I can’t think with out them inserting themselves…….

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These Demons Gave My Sister a Stroke

Something told me they did. I couldn’t prove it. In 2016 when I started hearing voices 24/7. It was almost night and day. Like soon as it became 2016 BOOM voices 24/7.

I was trying to understand what was happening to me, who sent this voodoo to me ….. why was I hearing my ex’s voice EVERY WHERE….. seeing his name. Then BOOM right before our birthday my twin sister had a STROKE. Too young for a stroke.

I was devastated, I started drinking , I would come home after work and drink and cry all night about my sister in her room. And this was after crying for like 6 months after a breakup.

Then maybe once my sister came back home and I quit my job. I started feeling super heavy. I started getting dizzy every time I sat up. Especially when I would quickly sit up to help take care of my sister. I thought it was the stress. I had perfect blood pressure all my life even in the psyche ward. So a couple months in I started just feeling IT.

I mean I felt the “schiz” stuff before or the Entity rape…. burns head pressure…. but this was different.

I felt sick and worried.

So I got schiz, my sister had a stroke, my mom had a heart attack all in the same year. And I only started seeing how these Entities work in 2017. How they attach to the body where what why ….. so I’m really over this.

Even as I write this they attacked me started almost making me pass out with heavy energy. I can only imagine what that would do to someone who is older or not in best of health.

I mean even my health is deteriorating because of this experience. But they don’t care. They just want to make it so someone commit suicide or oops I killed them in a stroke or a heart attack because I sat on their forehead and suffocated their brain or plopped my dark heavy ass energy on their heart. Oops!

I hate them sooooooo much!

When that Entity came to me after I told it to come out of my sisters room and I felt that sick energy the same that my sister said she felt a few days before……. I just knew….. it was confirmation……… I’m pissed I’m angry…… I thought there was some sort of law or code they couldn’t hurt anyone but apparently there isn’t.

So fuck them!

UPDATE: also after my sister’s stroke my sister went blind in her left eye.

Upon observation of my own body I’ve often had a rod or flower or overlay on my eyes with a heavy focus on my left eye to the point of pain. I even got my eyes checked out in the beginning. Everything was fine. Not sure now. Because I started actually seeing stuff in 2017. But the lights and flashes and whatever is in my eye that maybe allows me to see this light frequency HURTS. And then I wonder if it allows them to see like us.

Not sure if it’s a direct connection to my sister but I’m just saying.

I keep seeing these black sparkles bigger and bigger more and more and I just wonder if my sight is going to go away one day because all of this activity that’s constantly happening on me.

Spiritual Warfare: God’s Purpose For It

My friend sent me this. I’m struggling with this because according to this we are experiencing spiritual oppression because God wants us to.

Throughout most of this I’ve never got mad at God…. only asked why was this happening. But the topics, such as rape and incest and child abuse and racism and lies and more lies and confusion and insane things I couldn’t even come up with pass through my mind for no reason by these demons ……. I just don’t know. It says it’s suppose to bring us discipline and closer to God….. but now I’m more confused.

Because I kept telling this demon that kept trying to call itself God, my God would never say that…. or show me that or do that…. I feel stupid now. I don’t know what to trust anymore after being abused like this.

I’m kinda in a stank face mood about all of this processing this right now. I guess I missed this part about purposeful suffering for no reason or discipline sake. 😔☹ī¸đŸ˜Ŗ

False Light: Marked

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation+13&version=KJV&interface=amp

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I read revelations for the first time and unfortunately it made sense to me in a different way. Even though the Entity kept trying to say I was the slithering whore the whole time (one reason why is difficult to read the Bible) 🙄. And then there is so much imagery that that also gets difficult.

I mean as I have been opened to the a reality of astral/ and Demi urges or whatever you want to call it 4D or demons/ fallen angels/ false gods ….. much of the war seems to be in the “heavens” but of course we are affected. We are apart of it as well.

I never new evil was SO real. Like I thought there was like bad and evil people like Hitler or something. But it’s so much deeper what takes over humans. I thought monsters were just of the imagination.

But revelations says there will be a new heaven and that makes me happy. I told these demons all their toys were going to be taken away.

It also talks about men having the mark of the beast on their forehead and I know for a FACT these beings are always on my forehead (I have photos). So I guess I’m marked which kinda makes me sad, cause I know I messed up but I didn’t think it was that bad. They are on my forehead and in my eyes and on my hands and in my heart and tummy and genitals and they wiggle my toes…. they are in my home on my walls …. under my bed…. in my bathtub…….. I saw the white mist enter my home and I had hoped it was help…. my prayers answered…. but it was just more astrals setting up my house.

I don’t know anything….. I’m just describing what I’m going through.

But it was deep. The Entity voice is always bringing up my mistakes and asking me if I what I think about this or that. Then asks me about child abusers….. and my answer is always no. And I know I’m not suppose to judge it’s not for me to but if you ask me it’s a no. It’s fucked up and ruins lives.

Either way I hate this. All of it. I try to “stay positive” and be like aww look at the cute little demons and not judge them on how they look but how they treat me ………. but I hate it ….. all of it always.

And I’m not use to worshipping God from a place of fear but of thanks. Fear of going to hell or being sucked up in this Demonic matrix. But of thanks…… so I’m just trying to stay true to me and what feels right to me…. which that doesn’t.

I guess it was deep for me.

Shade | The Magicians: What I See 😱

” Shades are the part of the soul that makes people process complex emotions like love and pain…”
— Read on themagicians.wikia.com/wiki/Shade

At the height I was seeing beings with big holes in their chest. They seemed like temporary versions of a larger being (usually humanism). Like fractal that constantly are being birthed and consumed of themselves (makes no sense, it’s the only way I can describe it).

Some had holes there some had a smaller being in their chest.

When I heard about “Shade” in the series the Magicians, it kind of reminded me of the beings with a hole in their chest. (See the “shadeless” section of the link.)

I still don’t know all of what I see. I just know I see it. And there seems to be many different names and many different explanations.

This also goes back to my previous post that “what’s so wrong with being human?” Divinity and Humanness.

It seems not until our emotions are manipulated, disregarded that they perpetuate the cycle of pain.

But who the fuck am I? Hmm? Some doe eyed young buck with a foul mouth that’s only been on the earth 35 years technically 36 if you count womb incubation.

So is this the underworld? Overworld? I mean bravo on the spooky haunted house hell display.

And no one has answers?

I love earth and Gods work……. But seriously fuck this matrix.

Soul Star Chakra 🌟: Archon Halo ☁ đŸ‘ŧ ☁

So…………. The Archon’s portal energy balls I see on peoples heads and including my own look like halos you see in paintings. Straight up, no bullshit….. They are not glowing but they can invert from dark in the middle to light/clear on the outside or vice versa considering the lighting situation inside.

Last year my “twin flame” therapist told me about the “soul star chakra” which is also known as the “halo chakra”.

Simple stated in the link above “Your 8th Chakra known as the Soul Star Chakra is located about 12 inches to 3 feet from the top of your head (just above your Crown Chakra). Your Soul Star Chakra contains infinite energy, spirituality, Divine Wisdom and compassion. Also known as the Halo Chakra it’s what you see depicted in the historic paintings of Jesus Christ, the Saints and other Divine Masters. This chakra is the essential bridge between your Higher Self/Soul Self in the higher dimensions of reality and your incarnated human self (your personality and physical expression of your soul in third dimensional reality).

As your Soul Star Chakra becomes activated and expands you’ll begin to feel a strong need to align yourself with your Soul’s Mission to finally BE what you know on deeper levels you’re here to BE.”

Only I magically got the opposite! Why I gotta get the Satan halo? Is it suppose to be painful? This painful? 

Many people are saying that yes the body has natural chakras … And 3rd eye and all this good stuff but for some reason these natural systems are being manipulated and information is being falsafied so they can take advantage of us. 

There is an overlay. And its so painful. Like why doesn’t anyone tell you hey as some point you gonna get a half and shit it painful cause inter dimensional entities will prolly suck up you brain juices. I need a manual for this shit. 

Imaginary Friend 🍃đŸ‘ģ🍃

I had some “the gruge” like or alien raptor visuals in the begining ….. But I laughed at them …. So oddly my visuals are not AS strong although I have like floating emojis around the house which are odd and visions of child abuse or which is terrifying or random photos of people. 

I guess I am more stern because of the auditory …. Speaking creates more of a relationship. So it’s like one moment the voices would have me crying from saying moms gonna die, then sucidial from a sick visual of child sexual abuse and then trying manipulate me back into a friendly demeanor by making jokes or saying they love me. I realized this was a cycle of abuse. 

The Reconciliation /Honeymoon phase is “The victim feels pain, fear, humiliation, disrespect, confusion, and may mistakenly feel responsible. Characterized by affection, apology, or, alternatively, ignoring the incident, this phase marks an apparent end of violence, with assurances that it will never happen again, or that the abuser will do his or her best to change.” 

The first time I was introduced to this was when my best friend in high school told me that her mom would beat her, and then clean her wounds and tell her sorry and it won’t happen again and do it again. I asked my mom if she could live us but she couldn’t. 

Once I found this habitual pattern of abuse…. As much as those funny moments are so important for relief to the constant verbal abuse… To love and not hate…. To laugh….. I sadly had to accept that these voices will never change…. And I can no longer enable their abuse. Nor can I trust any attempt to gain my trust. 

This is called trauma. Not being able to leave a state of constant distrust or being on gaurd…… Physically harms the body in itself as well as how I interact with others. I’m trying to simply be clear and stern about my boundaries rather than be become a full blown narc. But it hurts and its hard because this is NOT my true nature. 

Sans the sick twisted abusive stuff…. I have no problem having an imaginary alien rapture friend that remixes gregorian music, plays air ghost tic tac toe and makes decent jokes given a natrual break in communication and with out pain from them touching me is gone.

Yea…. I am liberal about being crazy.

Copy Cat 🙀🙏 Smiley Face â˜ē

Above is a photo from a young girl in my schizophrenia group. We originally started speaking about her hallucinations in the group and she seemed so scared I told her to maybe draw them. To kinda face the fears, showing them she is not afraid. 

At first she was like no, but then some weeks later she started drawing them. And I was really proud of her for facing her fears.

She exolained this one is very different than what she normally sees. And I saw the same one again today as well. 

Some weeks ago my friend “sent me energy” and it looked like smiley face and flowers. I wrote about it in the blog. Her energy was very polite. When she brought her energy back to herself I knew. BUT the demonic energy here tried to copy the look of her energy signature and tried to seem like it was her. But know when it is not. There is always a slight difference from hers. Hers is brighter, faster, and moves. This demons is slow and dull and the smile is different. 

Now this girl drawing a version of the demonic version of this energy that I saw today and its making me upset. 1. Because I pray that its not this demon trying to fuck with her or me. 2. I feel like I should not be around ANYONE like I can’t care about anyone, help anyone with out some bullshit.

They asked me to be a moderator in the schiz group. Cause I give a shit about people and I want people to be OK….. But then things like this just makes me feel like shit.

Monster Logos ❤


Not all but many of the “energy”, entities, aliens, archons whatever you want to call them have a … Logo of sorts. I would assume, since they seem to be a hivr mind ad they attach to a humans individuality they long for that same separation. Thus a representation …. A logo of themselves of sorts.

Either way….. Each being…. Yes is individual in a way or for the moment…. And they CAN tether to you to sustain it self itself in whatever form that truly is. 

Just as they tether they can disconnect…. But who wants to find a new victim to learn? 

No I have seen “energy” or Entities that DID NOT connect to me physically and did not force itself to stay in my field or my home. 

I have to keep reminding myself there is a good spiritual world. And just because I have been forced to see this side that doesn’t make me a bad person for trying to understand and not leaving it to prayer alone. The Entities often try to guilt me…. Saying I’m a bad christian or something like that…. Because I donyt leave this to prayer alone. Again, Me, God, Meds. 

One of my friends told me about a story where she was in s parade in Chile and she fainted and then a shaman help her friend carry her to a place and then the shaman blew smoke on her back and pulled out like a teddy bear smoke logo. This teddy bear was a teather from an entity attempting to attach or hide in her. But was removed. 

Just like I had logos #, đŸ‘Ŋ, X, ❤  of all kinda stuff on arms and body. I can see but I can not remove them.

If I look directly where I know there is an “energy field” portal, alien demon whatever…. It will spew something at me…. It will sparkle maybe black maybe white and then I will see a smaller “portal” near me or a logo on my skin or my third eye. 

When I take photos of my face…. It legit looks like a child scribbled on my forehead. Especially the 3rd. I don’t know how long they last, or if they wash off in a shower… Or what. 

But sorry we want our people to be spiritually OK they need to know this shit good or bad.if you are walking around with a naked lady in your arua masterbating then that’s fucked up. That’s what I saw in this one guys field…. And he knew what I was talking about. I never a full figure before. 

I have no interest in playing with these entities…. Or anyone else for that matter when it comes to this. I seek to be free of the bullshit that is not me. Like this is basic shit. 

Black Obsidian: Root Chakra

So last night that insane “root chakra” vibrating rumble, burning, pin prick almost feels like my core is being yanked out…yea that feeling happened and so I put this obsidian on my vagina (non sexual yall, sorry its the demons fault I even think like that now).

Uhm it didn’t stop the vibration because then it just intensified… But it seems like it diverted it for a little while from directly with my cells. 

The virbatiin happens from the thighs all the way to the vagina area…. Sometimes a little further up into the actual reproductive system…. Sometimes feel like and empty yanking….. You know when your stomach growls… It feels like that but then a yanking sensation.

I know its one of those portal archon disks that’s doing this to me. They can get big or small…. Right small enough to be on the clit area and super annoying or large enought to include my thighs. I put my hand down there and usually it stop it but this time it was  so strong I could feel the buzz with my hand. 

I have used my thighs to squeeze it out more times then I have the energy for. Some say its “kundalini”. But can you actually push kundalini out if its naturally part of your spiritual body? 

Also there is no progressions to it. Kundalini I thought was suppose to progress in come way. 

I have had “kundalini” like sensation go up my back, very similar to to the root chakra…. But that always feel like a leaving sensation. 

It doesn’t make me feel good. I don’t like it I have no idea what’s going on….. Or why or the point of it all.

I just feel violated. I’ve never violated anyone. Ok maybe tickling my sister.

Either way the crystal didn’t help. Yes I cleaned them. Everyone keeps telling me to use crystals and so far they are only beautiful objects. A security blanket in the freezing winter.

——-+

UPDATE Google Doc SearchDoctor diagnosed Vibrating Vagina. I finally got the nerve to ask my doctor about the vibrating/humming sensation in my vagina. … He said the sensation is due to blood flow. The blood flow can cause turbulence which results in the vibratingfeeling.

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I mean blood flows….  But in that way there is a stimuli like when you are with a lover…. Or there is a threat to the body. So just blood flow is not a good enough answer for me. But it is ONE biological answer. When I would squeeze my thighs until I heard a crunch I would see the fast clear circle shoot out from legs. 

Sometimes I wonder if I’m fucking myself up more than these aliens are just trying to figure out what’s happening to my body and why I don’t feel connected to it. 

Idk. I hate this.