I Gave Up Everything 😞

So I think because the story of Job we are encouraged to just let things go when life is taking a nose dive into a hot concrete pavement.

I mean I let go my job which I loved, my relationships, friendships, all my possessions (cause I could no longer afford to have them in storage), my comfort, dreams for what I thought my life would be like, health, money (3k in spiritual services), beliefs, food, sex, even at one point stopped wearing jewelry, ……….. I honestly don’t know what more to give up. I know the voices wanted me to run away and be homeless AGAIN. And I’m not doing that. The main reason I didn’t run away was that my sister had a stroke and I needed to be there to help her otherwise I’m not sure what I would have done to try to make this voice and torture stop. But I gave a lot. And I’m done giving up everything. Short of my life (which they even asked me to commit suicide almost everyday and I attempted twice because of the child sex abuse visions).

And while I am all for Gods corrections at what point are we just allowing ourselves to just be tortured and misdirected by demons who want to present themselves as Gods or Authorities?

I made the intention to go back to school hopefully next year and so what I have been doing is studying “spirituality” in its different forms. Recently studying I tried to study the Zohar which is the study of the soul and Gods correction of the soul but the demons just like the Bible made it extremely difficult to read and study. Twisting concepts around. I have come to plateau with these demons. I know how they work. They say and do the same things over and over again. I see what they look like even if they look different. So more or less I see how they build on each other or connect to each other and me. So I’m pretty much done and annoyed. But more annoyed and a bit disheartened that I might not be able to finish school like I want to. I just don’t want to waste money or fuck up cause of this experience or be in class and them talking about how I want to fuck my teacher or classmates all day. Cause that is NOT how I think!

I have been waiting on this miracle, but I’m not sure to what extent I am suppose to step out and what part I’m suppose to wait. I’ve been laying in this bed for a good 2.5 years and I’m done. I’m as zen as I’m gonna get. I’m not a threat to anyone. Maybe myself if I don’t figure out how to get this demon out. Cause I KNOW it’s not schizophrenia…. I have photos proving it’s not…. it’s definitely an entity and it stalks me all day and never shuts up. Why it’s stalking me I don’t know, but I can’t say I’ve done anything to justify this torture. I’m not perfect, but shit man…… this is out of control.

So I guess I wanted to check myself on all that I have given up on thinking it would help me shake this demon and it hasn’t helped.

Taking these extremes have helped me in same ways uncover who these demons really are. No they weren’t my ex, or my coworkers as they pretended to be. No it wasn’t God (thank God for discernment). No this wasn’t schizophrenia because they were stupid enough to show up in my photos. And this wasn’t because I was a terrible person and deserved it, no different than like anyone else that is sick and deserved it. You can do everything right and still get sick.

So I still have a lot to sort through. But I while giving up everything DID uncover them…… I am starting to feel like I am only self harming and living a life of misery (which is what they want). It’s so weird being a happy depressed person. Like I still have optimism but like I wanna die cause I hate this experience and the pedo shit.

There are days I wake up in bed and the demon says it wants to have sex with me and of course I say NO and of course it molests me anyway. It will try hard to make me almost feel sleepy or drunk. And I will end up going back to sleep because my energy is zapped. Like that’s my fucking sad ass life. The pedo/ father shit didn’t start until I realized it wasn’t my ex ( false twin flame) and I started rejecting this demon. My life is SO fucking sad and lame. But I’m trying to remain hopeful. I guess it was my fault for thinking two people could love each other so much they could have telepathy. But it wasn’t my fault. I just didn’t know.

Womp womp!

Anyway!

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Targeted Individuals: Trolls and Trauma

So some of the TI forums I watch are infested with internet trolls. Men who watch TIs who are in their worst state and make fun of them call them crazy and retarded. All kinds of names. They get creative for the giggles I guess. Many of the TI call them perps but they aren’t they are just losers in a group like any other group trolling for the shits and giggles calling people mentally ill, however I firmly believe that trolls have a mental illness that that has not been uncovered or looked into yet as a community. But hey I’m not psychologist.

And I mean often times i read some people’s post and it is hard to read, or it does sound crazy or the person is frantic and paranoid. And it reminds me a lot of some of my earlier posts where I’m just like “fuck these fucking guys they ar fixing doing this to me fucking fuck” cause this shit HURTS! And it drives you insane.

Luckily I worked much of it out in an anon blog and with friends in private. Also in schizophrenic forum but I used very specific language. Very rarely brought up stuff about reptilian or matrix or any of that stuff unless someone else did. But mainly tried to talk about HOW the voices work. How they try to twist your mind around. Get you worked up. And how we must actively work to combat that.

The TI community is hurting HARD. I would say more than the schiz community because most don’t have the proper support networks. I mean there are like people who are YouTube who speak out and troll infested Facebook groups. They have rallies. But some think it’s the government and are really really adamant about that. Some think it’s spiritual like demons and some think it’s its aliens like reptillians. And maybe all 3 who knows lol.

As any case I think a lot of it is someone listening. Sorting through what is real and what is not real. I mean that is what I had to do on my own really. Sort through what was the voices and what was not over the course of 4+ years. What was me what was not me. And just give myself that space to do so. Granted I know most working people probably don’t have that kind of time because you add asshole coworkers and asshole drivers all in the mix and it’s a disaster. But we have to start breaking this shit down and start healing this shit.

Targeted Individuals are really on my list of people I hope find healing and relief. I mean feeling burned all night and day, not having control over your body? Someone speaking speaking through you? Pain constantly? Non stop voices? Tasting shit and piss? Rape? Sick visions? Body convulsing? See demons and aliens ghosts and shadows? It’s pure torture! All day!

So when I read these post I see people who are traumatized. And maybe people who are re-traumatized. There maybe other trauma that maybe has not been dealt with that is being played on and has not been settled. Will it stop all the torture NO but it will lessen it and our response to it. It won’t hurt as much. We won’t be as upset by it. But then again the experience it self is traumatic…. and that is something itself is something to unpack at some point.

🙏🏼

GodSon: Little Devils

So I came to babysit for my best friend while she was at school the next few days. And my godson was acting up. But it wasn’t so much that he was acting up or bad …… but he was VERY emotional about it and even more so when I or my friends boyfriend spoke to him about what he was being told to do. It was intense. But that happens every so often, I noticed he starts to crave more attention when there is two or more people in the house. But WHATEVER…..

What really got me is when he said that he had a REALLY BAD headache to the point he almost didn’t want to eat. The headaches or random pain is a very obvious sign of Entity etheric attachment. It is not the main one but smaller ones no bigger than a fist.

So while I was calmly talking to him and giving some time to breathe I stared at the top and sides of his head….. shoulders to see if I saw anything. And low and behold the demon revealed himself. I saw a darkish purple energy outline of the being walking on top of his head AND when I looked at it the demon spewed a sparkly energy orb thing at me so while I might not see exact details of the face I saw enough to know something was attached to him and making him feel bad.

This demon or alien thing has been stalking me wherever I go. Even to the doctors office. I mean I’m not sure if it’s because I am around or not. I have seen some in the children’s playground that had nothing to do with me.

But I don’t understand why they would attach to an innocent child like that! It infuriates me.

I spoke to a friend of mine that does astral healing work (he is really legit and the sweetest man alive) and he said in fact there was a demon attached to both my godson and I. And he removed it.

Today my godson was way more chilled and listening and not super emotional to the point he didn’t even understand why he was feeling the way he was feeling.

It was good to have my sight of the beings confirmed by my friend. But at the same time I’m really upset that it’s happening at all and I just don’t know if it is because of me.

While my friend has been able to remove astral etheric attachments for me before he hasn’t been able to remove the voice that attacks me all day. Just like the really problematic immediate issue or symptom of a larger problem….. the stalking entity. But he is good at what he does and I don’t dole that out to just anyone! Especially after being taken financially taken advantage of by many “healers”.

It was nice to have a very energetically calm day with my godson. It’s too hot for all that mess tbh.

I really wish I had super powers to help heal people in that way. He went to school for this so he knows what he is doing. And he is a teacher. I just wished he could just pluck this nasty one out though. It is literally a thorn in my side.

Trying to remain hopeful I can beat this!

update: my godson is in the kitchen learning how to cook with my best friends boyfriend while I chill writing waiting for dinner and my friend to get home from school. Super loving environment like he deserves!

Targeted Individuals: Twin Flame – The Ring

This is someone else’s post in a group I am in. Now I wanted to share this aspected because I have actually spoke to MANY women in the “schizophrenic” forum and some spiritual forums who said that they heard from the voices that “we are married”.

I even told my twin flame counselor that in felt like I was married to Satan ….. half jokenly because I was being tortured!

I wrote about this before in my blog search for “spirit husband” or “incubus” as I understood them at the time for this aspect.

The demon alien pretended to be telepathy with my ex (false) twin flame. And wanted time to be faithful until the “next lifetime”. I was guided to look at rings because he was talking about marriage or that we were married. So I was looking at promise rings. Before the demon alien would rape me it would ask me to put the ring on thinking it was my ex.

Once I realized for sure it was not my ex because the demon alien would not stop raping me no matter how much I begged. It would also suffocate me to the point I felt like I was going to pass out from a migraine.

Some may call it a spirit husband to be delivered from. This demon alien has evolved. Once I stopped the twin flame game and wanted the rape to stop it went straight into pedo shit and tried to force me to kill myself.

The game plan was to get me to kill myself regardless. Whether it was for my ex twin flame or pure pedo torture.

Whatever this aspect is I have caught on to their games and patterns. And I am glad people are not afraid to speak out. It’s just we are so divided on what is actually causing this. Government experiment? Corporate Gang stalkers? Spiritual warfare? Alien take over? Purely mental?

How can we all come up with the same thing? Same words? Same games? It’s sick! Ad now I gotta be labeled a schiz for the rest of my life and take their meds that can take 25 years off this miserable existence.

Don’t fall for those tricks! It is not your twin flame! Whatever it is! It is not real telepathy! I doubt you would hear them so loudly. This is not natural whatever it is and waaaay too many people are experiencing this fucked up aspect across the globe.

So did all the demons agree to play the same few games on this generation? To force them into suicide?

A man just jumped off the Brooklyn bridge today. 😥

God I really wish I knew what was going on! I hate not being able to help. All I can do is share my story and hopes people get on the discernment tip QUICK!

Humans as Energetic Crypto Currency

I was reading the article “reversals produce loosh” by Lisa Renee and I immediately saw myself as a crypto currency machine.

A few times I have heard the voices talk about money, seemingly asking another entity for money when accessing me. I also heard something about a “shop”.

Loose is basically energy harvested from animals usually through torture. This makes me wonder if this is why sacrifices (human or animal) of any kind were usually apart of rituals or offerings. THE LOOSH!

While I’m not currently a practicing vegan anymore I know I want to go back. One thing that I never understood in the Bible is why God would want us to kill or sacrifice one of his creations in such away. That the smell of burning flesh pleased God. Which is why I often wonder if the Bible sometimes confused God for one the low level asshole looser astral Entities. Sac religious I know. Forgive my ignorance I just go with what is i my heart and what is here in this reality and they conflict …… a lot.

So I had the unfortunate pleasure of seeing into “the astral” which is basically hell and I saw books and boxes of tool and coverings of sort. One of the boxes I saw was a tool that looked like a long horned trumpet. I saw the Entities (many at one point) use these trumpets to either suck energy from me it seemed. I wondered if these supplies we made also out of my loosh. I also saw clothing that looked like Casper the friendly ghost and the box (which looked like a small casket) which it came in. With out the covering the smaller entities look like skeletons of some kind. I’ve also seen masks and those smaller entities conglomerate into a larger one.

So I wondered if I am like their personal crypto harvesting bank of energy. Because it works more like crypto and less like employment and a bank etc. And they habitually abuse me through pain or emotional turmoil of gross stuff (which I mentioned in my blog numerous times). I can tell you I don’t have much left. I sure feel wasted.

I never wanted to encounter the astral it just happened. And what I saw was during when I was trying to figure out what was happening to me. And I hoping this is just another layer of the lie…… the illusion.

The really sucked the fun out of life. Seeing all of this. Just makes life really Bleh.

Decolonizing Socio Political Spirituality

“The personal is political, the political is personal”

As i wade through the “spiritual” community i have tried to keep an open mind that other wont share the same views or experience as mine. That i was entering a vast arena with people from all backgrounds but our main common thread is spiritual growth.

And while i have been able to keep my cool in most discourse as they crop up, i have found myself feeling more and more isolated from the “spiritual community” due to socio political differences or ignorance.

One of the main and most recent happenings that has boggled my mind is this exaltation of Trump as a “whistle blower on the Illuminati” or elite pedos….. in the spiritual community, which i am still trying to figure out HOW. It is absolutely ridiculous. Anyone who supports Trump supports poor moral judgement and dare i say white supremacy. While many feel that it is freedom speech, this human has gone on to make fun of the Disabled, Women, Native Americans (calling warren pocohantas), and people of color openly at his rallies. I see him more as a bully than i have seen any other president in my life. But more so, it is his history and policies that scare me the most as he creeps into the “spiritual community” as some savior, which is clearly a tactic by conservatives.

Let us not forget that his father was associated with KKK in a riot that broke out in Jamaica Queens in 1927. Also in 1989 Trump took out an $85,000 Ad calling for the death penalty following the Central Park 5 case in which 5 young black and latino boys where forced into admitting a rape they never committed. But in April of 2016 Trump was also brought child sex allegations that fell on deaf ears and who later retracted her case because there were severe threats on her life. Now three years later there are “spiritual” and conspiracy blogs trying to paint Trump as a whistle blower on the elite pedophiles. I am really confused. To me if he is blowing any whistles it is only to save his own ass and to separate himself from Epsteine who he was close friends with.

However Trumps administrations handling of immigrants here in America is deplorable alone. Children in cages, loosing 1,500 children, Over 4,000 children reported being sexually assaulted in the ICE detention camps and the round up of ALL undocumented immigrants which apparently began Sunday and will create fear with in many communities. If the administration did not have the infrastructure to properly handle immigration in such “a hands on” manner, they should not have separated children from their families until there was structure and employees in place to handle immigration at this magnitude. This isn’t about being a democrat and republican to me. This is about what is right….. and how things have been handled has not aired on the side of right TO ME.

I just watched an ICE rally and all of the Trump supporters trolled the comments echoing Trumps statements and telling people to “Go Home” “If you don’t like it here leave” …….. Why if i don’t agree with a policy my only option is to leave my country of origin? Is that not what democracy is about? Trump knows exactly what he is doing! Trump has not empowered the American people but has debased them to their lowest selves and lowest common denominator ….. Hate and fear. The racists are prompted by the trigger words that Trump uses. It’s like a tick in their brains. They are like small children repeating what they hear. They have no real analysis on the issues, just racist rhetoric and trigger words spewed by Trump. It almost makes me want to cry to see what we have been reduced to because the president has set the standard of our country.

It actually breaks my heart to see racist belligerently yelling at immigrants and people of color and telling them to go back to where they came from. Because from a spiritual perspective these individuals are not acting as their best and highest selves. They have demons inside of them that hates …. And they are feeding them fully with in this administrative term.

Moving along from Trump cause honestly i could go all day. Another big issue that i have seen in the spiritual community is blatant Homophobia and Transphobia. I all too often had to swallow my pride reading some of the homophobia that is circulated on facebook. I am not going to battle every single homophobe, i don’t have that type of energy to waste however i will unfollow, not support, and move on with my life. I had a few “spiritual” friends who would post anti-lgbt misinformation. Like one video where they were connecting LGBT to pedos (which is what they have always done as a fear tactic) because one school wanted to teach LGBT history in it’s curriculum . LGBT people are not pedos, that is like saying all LGBT are rapists. Pedos are rapists of children, it is not a sexual orientation between two contenting adults. Thats one and two, many carry their conservative Christian beliefs around sex, gender and orientation and some how wrap it in New Age language further isolating those who do not identify as cis heterosexual people. It wasn’t until i watched this video on Higher Self (a spiritual youtube channel), did i have enough. That particular channels is suppose to be talking about aliens and spirits and energy updates and for whatever reason they allowed this 30 minute rants about how transgender isn’t a real thing and they are just confused people.

What people don’t understand is that they have the privilege of not having to think twice about post like these. It does not hurt them or their immediate communities. However these sentiments being spewed on whatever forum or platform is the same sentiments that allowed for 1 trans person killed per day in 2017. If you are spewing this type of hatred then you are a part of the problem and are co-conspirators in the death of innocent trans peoples lives. It is really that simple.

I am already exhausted.

I think the one major issue that no one really wants to touch, is race here in America. All too often any time a major racial charged conflict come to light in America, I hear the spiritual conspiracy theorist start talking about “false flags” and all this nonsense. No one wants to claim their ancestors deeds and no one wants to claim their privilege that they benefit from and that is one the major reckonings here in America. Any time someone starts talking about race some spiritual person comes in and starts talking about how “oh this is a false race war being created” or “people need to stop being victims” “slavery is over, I’m not a slave owner” “that is “reverse racism”” these are just SOME of the nonsense i hear and commentary used to silence black and brown people from analyzing in public forums and speaking out about the pain of their experience here in America.

Slavery and soon to be the policies around the prison industrial complex is a major demon that ALL of America has to face. People want to look to the future but don’t want to see all the ways in which our present is being shaped by our past. Much of the prison system is a form a modern day slavery, and we know for a fact the black and brown people are arrested and sentenced at a disproportionate rate. We have in NYC policies like the “Stop and Frisk” in which officers where told to racially profile in specific black and brown neighborhoods to meet daily quotas. This is just one example of the many ways in which black and brown people experience real racism and systemic racism here in America. This isn’t made up, a false flag, someone just trying to play victim. Communities of color face many forms of police brutality (which stems from the civil rights era when the police would use excessive force like water hoses and dogs) and you want to say “All lives matter”, but never show up when its an innocent black person dead at the hands of the cops. And when Black Lives Matter was created, it was created to say STOP KILLING US! But for some reason BML became a threat because their platform was so vast and gained support of celebrities and politicians alike. Now the racists or covert racists want to believe that the Democratic party is garnering hatred for cis white heterosexual males, instead of understanding it an an analysis of their history of violence here in America (world?).

The fact that most “spiritual” people don’t have to, or choose not to think about these things is a privilege. Their communities aren’t being devastated. Their people aren’t being harassed or murdered by hatred. And I think about this every day. The lives that were lost for merely existing. If your spirituality excludes actual history and analysis and includes hatred or blissful ignorance, count me the fuck out. And that is what privilege is. It is not your experience, it is not in your face everyday so you don’t have think about it everyday, you just benefit from the fact that these isms exist. Everything is catered to you. You don’t have to carve space out in a the “spiritual” community, or defend vulnerable/ marginalized communities that are suffering at the hands of racism, homophobia, xenophobia and ablism on a daily basis.

And what kills me is that our history has been sooooo white washed that Jesus and Nefertiti who are of African blood are apparently white now. Much of the spiritual community gets to pick and choose what they like from other ethnic groups while not really giving a fuck about that particular community. Spiritual appropriation is a real thing. And honestly I believe we need to Decolonize Spirituality.

What does Decolonizing Spirituality look like?

Glad you asked! An understanding and appreciation for indigenous people culture and healing practices with out using the Wellness Guru Model to profit off of it for white consumption.

Decolonize “Inspirational Meme Culture” which makes me want to vomit a little bit, understanding that putting some “inspirational quote” next to a half naked white woman in a traditional Native American head dress in some forest IS NOT SPIRITUAL. Not because she is half naked but because that quote and that image are two very separate things. The image is one of appropriation, and is disrespectful to indigenous culture.

If you want to act like you care about black and brown people supporting environmental factors that effect black and brown people…… i don’t know say something as simple as WATER. We can all agree that water is a basic human right, right?

Creating new healing modalities that address racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia and ableism with in the spiritual communities. Anti-racism work IS apart of healing, for all of us. Understanding the ways in which we perpetuate racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia and ableism and ways we can dismantle that, is in fact spiritual growth. The longer we allow it to fester, too afraid to touch it because we think love and light is enough, the bigger of a monster we will have to defeat, and the beast is pretty damn big already.

We need to embody our highest selves and fighting for the liberation and rights of all people is in fact a spiritual process. Caring for the safety regardless of sex, gender, race, orientation or creed of all people is the highest form of empathy. Unless we can do this, look outside of our own experience, then love nor light will help us and the evil ones will prevail in keeping us divided.

We are here to brake the chains of for ancestors and at the same time create a BETTER world for the future generations. If we simply think that love and light (thoughts and prayers) will save us and not deep analysis along with structural change we will never meet the healing that is waiting for us as a generation.

Why can I see them?

I often wonder why I can see these Entities and others can’t. I mean my friends can see them in EMF photos I take so I’m not TOTALLY crazy.

But I have not showed anyone super close to me the photos for fear of what they will think of me or that it will open them up to these beings. I honestly don’t want anyone to go through this. But if you are already walking on the weird side of life then cool let’s compare notes.

The first time I noticed them I was on the toilet and the voices were just yakity yacking away and I let out a big sign and I saw a clear circle in front of me ripple through air and tiny sparkles. I then focused my eyes on the space in front of me and noticed the circle in front of me. I breathed on it again ….. ripple in space. It’s almost like seeing heat waves off of the hot concrete. Clear but a bit distorted. That was the first time I saw them and how they are set up all around my house. I mean it’s everywhere almost.

From there I saw the dark energy blobs that are basically just another form of the clear circles. They can be either dark, white or clear. Then I started seeing their eyes and they tried to scary me chasing me around the house but I faced them head on. I smacked on with a bible for being near my sister. But I still didn’t see them completely only know that something is there. It wasn’t until I took EMF photos with the “long exp” camera app on iPhone did I actually see more of what they look like and then things started to make sense. Like how they line only my bedroom with smaller Entities. How they are pretty much all over the house. How they stand near the TV and why I would think their voices were coming off the tv. Still not sure how it fully works but seeing them near the TV makes sense I just assume they are connected to me at the same time.

Then I started to see them glow with their full outline seen by my bare eyes. Often when I would see them directly they will turn away. I’m not sure why. They had sunglasses on at some point. So there is something with me looking directly at them that they don’t like.

So what is it about ME that allows me to see them and no one else. Like I have pretty good vision 20/30 I believe. I’ve also slowed down A LOT (I’m usually a really fast paced person) so just slowing down and actually noticing what is in “empty” space could be another reason. They also choose to show themselves to me when they wanted to scare me. And I think it’s funny now. Uhm …. I mean is my pineal gland like super activated? I was trying to turn this thing off…. eating a regular American diet (which I’m more of a vegetarian), I listen to the kardashians all day because of my sister so that’s mind numbing. I just don’t know how. Is there a chemical in my brain that’s allowing me to see them?

What is it? Again this plateau is really frustrating….. I can feel them but can’t touch them. Her them but can’t figure out which one of the many Entities is the one constantly talking to me. I can see them but barely prove it. I mean unless your on the crazy boat like I am your mind won’t wrap around actually seeing this Entities in photos.

Part of me want to try ayahuasca again the first time all I did was poop a lot…. no experience really happened.

It’s like wanting to shake something off that’s stuck to you…. I hate the way my body feels with them. It feels heavy and in pain (severe migraines), or I feel like waves of creepy crawls on my butt, or on my vagina. It’s just sooo weird. What is happening to me? I got all these beings attached to me like a magnet and I have to carry them around. And I just want my body back.

Soon as I get my money flow this fall, I’m doing every possible detox you can think of! Gut detox,parasite,liver and then kidneys, then the gut again and then maybe a heavy metal detox and try to practice raw vegan one month of every season. Even though I got attacked when I was glowing up on my vegan diet I’m going back ……. and if they attack me like they did before then that will just be another data point for me.

I just wish I had someone I could actually talk about this stuff with to better understand. I feel like I have a super power that’s pointless. It’s like ok cool I can see them but I can’t peel them off of me….. so what’s the point?

Will the truth ever be revealed?

Who am I? What Am I?

I spent all morning racking my brain around, WHAT and WHO exactly am I in this “menagerie” of Entities and beings floating around me and my house.

These beings are starting to cover my own face to the point in a EMF photo you can barely see my actual face. (Again if you want to see you can just ask but those particular photos were scary so I won’t post them till I understand them better).

I feel like if you aren’t careful any being will come in and tell you who and what you are, just feeding yet ANOTHER matrix of lies to crawl out of. I don’t mind observing possibilities of truth, but I’m not taking anything for absolute truth just yet.

So you’ve seen it…… the memes that say we “are the light, be the light.”, that we “need to look INSIDE ourselves for the truth” all these riddles when we could just say hey this is what’s up. Either way…… how exactly am I suppose to look at myself physically or with in?

This part is kind of confusing me. I’ve worked on my mental A LOT and my emotional and while I might be 100% compared to where I was 3 years ago I did THE WORK while getting my ass rapped and beat my Entities.

I guess because I was/am assaulted by Entities there is a part of me that wants to just jump out of my body and handle them properly.

But also this all came from realizing how the have high jacked my imagination/ 3rd eye vision and my dreams. I’m my dreams I realized that it wasn’t mean driving or creating the dreams it was them. One of the Entities even was so bold to draw a simple drawing of who he was driving my dream, he was also trying to write but was having difficulty. I was only the observer. But how? Why? Very few of my dreams make sense now. They are mundane or just …. fast pace…. overall weird…. and I dream ALLL THE TIME. So it’s more like a place for them to play or live and act out and less likely my own consciousness. They are looney that is the best way I can describe it.

So as the observer and I can control this body 95% I say that because they can jolt my body and make it shiver, burn, be in pain etc and on rare occasions moved a limb, a toe or a pinkie. They can make me feel but they can not make me move with out a strong suggestion that I agree to. Say going to smoke a cigarette.

But how do I find that light with in? Truly? Not some illusion set up by the Entities.

Why in a photo I can see them but I can’t see myself (spiritually)? Am I locked in this body? Which is fine why is that these other beings can come and go as they please? And hurt my body?

I have so many question? And I again just don’t know where to go for answers. Or if those answers will suffice.

Part of healing to for me is deconstructing how and why we suffer. Critique it, trying to make it better for the next person. I take what I learned in 3D about healing and apply it spiritual. I have the option to wait on Gods grace (and the assumption) do nothing about my situation or I can be an active part in my healing and try to break this shit down not just for me but for others that feel like they are loosing it because of this odd experience.

I doubt any one reads this crap but lol if you have any good books or articles or methods to understand this better let me know.

❤️🙏🏼❤️

Turning My Spiritual Attack into a Blessing

So don’t get me wrong. I have my days. And I want it to stop and I am standing my ground firm on that the best way I know how.

However…. my eyes have opened to knew worlds and communities of people I never knew existed. If it wasn’t for the internet I might be dead to be honest. Between the twin flame community and the targeted Individual community and the schizophrenic community there are so many that I can relate to. Most of us have learned to be soft with each other and built heart connections based on our traumas that we really can’t share with many people with out sounding completely looney.

But it’s important to really talk about it and unravel everything. Even as much as I write about everything it’s still difficult. Multiply storylines and merging storylines happened as well as confusion so at times I can only follow one frame work but usually there were multiple happening at the same time.

I want nothing more then to stop hearing voices all day long, and being raped by demons and being called vile names and shown distrusting images.

But this torture only propelled my fight to be outspoken for those who are are afraid to speak, to research, to observe.

I will always say I traded my FEAR for CURIOSITY. That was the first step to no fear. I picked up my pen and drew what I saw or I typed in my blog exactly what I was experiencing in that moment.

I then was able to reference back to these things at a later date and hopefully see a progression of sorts. And there has been progress. Slow but progress.

Carl Jungs Shadow Work also helped me learn WHY the demon aliens chose the topics they chose. Shadow Work is like root work ….. it’s getting to the root of an issue and a core belief system. I know that child sexual abuse is a big trigger for me cause of a childhood wound (that I mention in this blog) and because it’s just wrong. And they know it upsets me so just keep hitting that button over and over and over again. But I realized where it stems from and made some piece because at first it seemed like it was coming from no where. Like hearing “you’re a child molester” one day out of no where after not thinking about my childhood trauma for eons just seems random. But now I know why they picked it. Because I would murder them for what they did to me….. and they know it I ain’t above that shit. I will bust some 👽 alien mars attack heads idgaf!

ANYWAYS! 😇

So other than getting to meet new people and expanding my community (which has been difficult due to homophobia and low key racism in the spiritual community but that’s a whole other story) and learning more about myself, I also seen a whole other world *cue Aladdin theme song*.

While this world was scary and confusing. If this this world exist ….. I know there is a God. While they def look like aliens and act like demons…. I’m not sure WHAT dimension I am in exactly. So again trade the fear of the unknown for curiosity. Not sure how long I will be here but I can document as much as I can while I am.

They can hurt us, but figure out HOW they hurt us. They won’t kill you (least that I know of) just make you want to off yourself. Suicide is kind of like their signature move.

The more we strengthen ourselves and document for others struggling, hold space for other struggling, support them, allow them to feel, listen to them, the more we can start shedding light on these alien demons that are holding innocent humans hostage.

We can turn this into a blessing. Alien/demons are real! Let’s stop acting like it’s just Hollywood. Where you think they get the creativity from? So! Let’s turn it into a blessing and flip this script on all of them real quick. They messed with the wrong generation!

Peace and Love

❤️🙏🏼❤️

Twin Flame Be Like: Dance

I only identify with Twin Flame as a part of my story. I dont believe my ex is my actual twin flame as the demon voices really wanted me to believe. They wanted me to be obsessed with him and in pain …. Heartache. And i aint got time for that. The demon alien assholes fucked with the wrong chick.

BUT i am emo and i love aft culture and relatable content i donhave a sense of humor. So this choreography felt relatable to the twin flame thing for me when ibwas going through it so i wanted to put it here.

Enjoy it either way.