Soul Star Chakra ๐ŸŒŸ: Archon Halo โ˜ ๐Ÿ‘ผ โ˜

So…………. The Archon’s portal energy balls I see on peoples heads and including my own look like halos you see in paintings. Straight up, no bullshit….. They are not glowing but they can invert from dark in the middle to light/clear on the outside or vice versa considering the lighting situation inside.

Last year my “twin flame” therapist told me about the “soul star chakra” which is also known as the “halo chakra”.

Simple stated in the link above “Your 8th Chakra known as the Soul Star Chakra is located about 12 inches to 3 feet from the top of your head (just above your Crown Chakra). Your Soul Star Chakra contains infinite energy, spirituality, Divine Wisdom and compassion. Also known as the Halo Chakra it’s what you see depicted in the historic paintings of Jesus Christ, the Saints and other Divine Masters. This chakra is the essential bridge between your Higher Self/Soul Self in the higher dimensions of reality and your incarnated human self (your personality and physical expression of your soul in third dimensional reality).

As your Soul Star Chakra becomes activated and expands you’ll begin to feel a strong need to align yourself with your Soul’s Mission to finally BE what you know on deeper levels you’re here to BE.”

Only I magically got the opposite! Why I gotta get the Satan halo? Is it suppose to be painful? This painful? 

Many people are saying that yes the body has natural chakras … And 3rd eye and all this good stuff but for some reason these natural systems are being manipulated and information is being falsafied so they can take advantage of us. 

There is an overlay. And its so painful. Like why doesn’t anyone tell you hey as some point you gonna get a half and shit it painful cause inter dimensional entities will prolly suck up you brain juices. I need a manual for this shit. 

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Imaginary Friend ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿƒ

I had some “the gruge” like or alien raptor visuals in the begining ….. But I laughed at them …. So oddly my visuals are not AS strong although I have like floating emojis around the house which are odd and visions of child abuse or which is terrifying or random photos of people. 

I guess I am more stern because of the auditory …. Speaking creates more of a relationship. So it’s like one moment the voices would have me crying from saying moms gonna die, then sucidial from a sick visual of child sexual abuse and then trying manipulate me back into a friendly demeanor by making jokes or saying they love me. I realized this was a cycle of abuse. 

The Reconciliation /Honeymoon phase is “The victim feels pain, fear, humiliation, disrespect, confusion, and may mistakenly feel responsible. Characterized by affection, apology, or, alternatively, ignoring the incident, this phase marks an apparent end of violence, with assurances that it will never happen again, or that the abuser will do his or her best to change.” 

The first time I was introduced to this was when my best friend in high school told me that her mom would beat her, and then clean her wounds and tell her sorry and it won’t happen again and do it again. I asked my mom if she could live us but she couldn’t. 

Once I found this habitual pattern of abuse…. As much as those funny moments are so important for relief to the constant verbal abuse… To love and not hate…. To laugh….. I sadly had to accept that these voices will never change…. And I can no longer enable their abuse. Nor can I trust any attempt to gain my trust. 

This is called trauma. Not being able to leave a state of constant distrust or being on gaurd…… Physically harms the body in itself as well as how I interact with others. I’m trying to simply be clear and stern about my boundaries rather than be become a full blown narc. But it hurts and its hard because this is NOT my true nature. 

Sans the sick twisted abusive stuff…. I have no problem having an imaginary alien rapture friend that remixes gregorian music, plays air ghost tic tac toe and makes decent jokes given a natrual break in communication and with out pain from them touching me is gone.

Yea…. I am liberal about being crazy.

Photo of what I usually see

Like this is the most obvious photo I have taken. I would zoom in or not have it on a white background or in bright lights so your eyes can adjust. Im trying to look at it now in my bathroom lights and all I see it a black photo. 

If I’m totally bugging let me know. 

The photos of what I drew are here. I have seeming them for 6+ months. I think one or more contribute to the schizophrenia. 



On Sadness

In every moment of sadness, another layer of outdated cellular memories leaves your energy field.

As each layer is released through spontaneous expressions of doubt, despair, and disappointment, the world is equally cleansed and released from the spell of unconsciousness.

This may help you understand how there is nothing to fear when sadness is present. If anything, knowing the energetic purpose behind such a misunderstood emotion reminds you to slow down and relax your body, so you may see how an experience of sadness has absolutely nothing to do with the circumstances and outcomes that bring it to the surface.

Sadness is your highest transformation being recognised in progress.

No matter how lonely it may seem or how devastating it can feel, sadness acts as the unsuspecting sign that a new reality has dawned within you. As this is accepted, the consuming nature of sadness transforms into the peaceful resolve of self-realisation

This helps to dispel any myth about the location of awakening that many believe exists somewhere beyond the grip of sadness. Instead, Awakening is the natural recognition of your essential nature that unfolds with ease, once the healing power of sadness has been survived.

This may also help you see how in itsโ€™ purest form, sadness is not the absence of happiness.

Sadness is actually the clean-up crew of the Universe.

One breakdown at a time, it sweeps every distraction out of your energy field, so the happiness that is always here can be revealed.

SOURCE:

Matt Kahn – http://www.truedivinenature.com

JOIN HERE

In Universal Service โ–ฒ Keeper of The Diamond Light Codes

—————-

I use to think like this. Its just now. I’m not sad….. I’m torture …. Tormented. I was OK with how I handled my emotions until I was attacked. Tricked. 

Now I don’t know what I am anymore. I’m angry. 

I’m angry I have no idea what’s going on with my body or how to fix it. 

I would fix my problems…… other people’s problems….. Plan of action – execute…. Hope for the best ….. And do decent. 

But this I don’t know what to do anymore. So I’m angry, frustrated from trying to do my best which will never seem like enough and then sad cause its almost like it doesnt matter.

No good deed goes unpunished“.

Numb ๐Ÿ‘ค Etheric Overlays

So …. I have noticed for a while now a numb sensation. 

At first I thought it was because I wasn’t moving as much. But YOU KNOW ME overly aware all the time.

So I noticed my hands going numb (especially around the phone). And when I looked there were one of those circles there. Noticed my thighs for months now. 

I noticed my feet/ ankle going numb. And then I felt that energy move up my leg that’s what prompted me to write about it.

Ive seen foreign energy move under my skin and then leave a mark. Either a pictogram (or emoji like) or an X. 

It’s so gross seeing your skin move. Its not like an aliens gonna pop out…. Its like a wave. Its more meshed WITH the skin than under it. 

That’s how the burn me, and talk to me, and poke, vibrate …. Rape. “Punch”…… Is by merging with the human cell or the space in between cells and causing an illusionary sensation.

Hands, arms, feet, thighs. And then my core and head is a whole other thing with etheric animals and beings coming and going as they please. Just …. Uhg. And my 3rd eye is pretty much a big gaping hole at this point. 

And they won’t stop, won’t shut up, won’t leave, won’t provide any “contracts”.

—————– 

The Demonic Archon Alien tried to say its prepping my body for the Isis etheric overlay. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜’

Suck an etheric dick. 

I said NO! 

Family Ties ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ‘ญ๐Ÿ‘ซ๐Ÿƒ

So my sister had an appointment my mom asked me to go with her to. I told my mom a few days ago I would go no problem.

Me minding my own business laying on my bed looking at Facebook. 

My sister: How are you feeling?

Me: Terrible as always. (Which is something I say all the time cause I’m not gonna lie and say everything is fine when its not. When things are actually fine I have no problem updating.)

Sister: Well you don’t have to go, if you know that’s too much for you ect. 

Me: You are RUDE! 

I felt like my sister is NOW using my schizo to try to gain her independence. Which is RUDE! My mom did the same thing thanksgiving. Asked me for DAYS about going to get a TV for her, and the hour before going she says, 

My Mom: Oh you don’t have to go I know crowds are too much for you.

Me: oh now I’m too crazy to go? (Sarcastically)

Mom: I didn’t say that.

Me: I guess you gonna take your husband. Y’all choose each other. 

Dad: “I’m not gonna let my fucking daughter humiliate me into telling what to do. And your mother never called you crazy. 

Me: Perfect example of why people shouldn’t drink (3 pints of Bloody Mary).

So, if my mom wanted my dad to go then don’t step on my back and use my mental illness to get what you want. Same thing with my sister, if my sister wanted to go by herself then fine, dont try to pin this on me and use my mental illness as an excuse. If I didn’t WANT to go to would say NO. It’s pretty simple. My sister doesn’t even notice she has done this before with her other appointments, because she wanted to test herself and go by herself. Just like she started work not being fully healed. 

I told my sister she is a pawn. Cause its like I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t crying, I was totally chillin and you go and fuck up my day because you didn’t want to upset me by me going with you to your appointment. But now I’m upset. 

No one cares when I asked to turn the TVs down….. Or not to stress me out. Or a day off. 

I’m not taking anyone’s shit. They can’t 1. Make decisions for me. Otherwise don’t ask me to do shit. If I tell you I’m gonna do it, then I made a decision. Otherwise dont ask me and make the decision for me, and pick and choose what you want me to do.

Last night I went to the store, cooked baked chicken, purple potatoes, and asparagus with lemon butter sauce for my family. Which is MAJOR! One cause they actually ate my cooking and two cause I pushed myself. 

So now I can’t go outside all of a sudden? I know myself way too well. 

I’m not taking anyone shit anymore. Family, friends, the guys out here…. This low life piece of ahit alien demon.

I don’t care what plane of existence you are in.

I was totally chillin and gotta fuck up my vibe. 

In the golden light healing meditations we cleaned our cords with family….  I instantly saw a difference in their response. Sister sent me a sweet message on FB and my mom actually let me cook. So it ONLY makes sense that these demons out here want to make them dirty with anger. 

I will have to clear my cords again. I love my family very much…… But they don’t get their implications.

Everyone telling me not to go out NOW….. But I needed that back then and a begged my sister to get a home aid…. But now … It’s just like registering 6+ months later…. 

Which I’ve already died like 800+ times….. And maybe twice actually. So now it doesnt matter…. I’m dead…. I eat dead meat cause I have no choice cause of my family and to not be rude. I am raped and abused this whole time taking care of my sister. I have astral parasitic bugs crawling through my aura and 3rd eye. I was forced to watch child porn through visions from some demonic entity for two years and died every single time. So fuck it….. I’m dead. I died more times than I think a human should.

Fuck it.

So no more bullshit.

Astral Rape ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ‘พ

I forgive my mom. She doesn’t know or understand. No one does. No one gets it it’s not their fault. 

My mom was watching a movie that happened to have a long loud sex scene in it and I held my breath anticipating the Archon Demon to do something to me. It waited until I started breathing again to then touch me again.

And I started to cry, cause I hate being touched. I have been raped and molested all day for two years. I dont even know know what a loving touch feels like anymore. 

Anytime I think about love, I’m molested. Anytime I’m happy, I’m molested or hurt. Anytime I think about my family lovingly I’m molested. Anytime I look at a new person I am having a conversation with, I’m molested…. TV show molested. Or just for fun Raped.

Then to realize the only “sexual” encounter I’m having is being raped an invisible demonic archon reptilian thing all day on some pedo incest rape bullshit. 

And its so sad. That’s all I know right now. That’s all that is on repeat in my head …. To take my life away.

I need love so bad….. I love myself and its not enough…. I love everyone and its not enough. I fight its not enough.

Im so tired of my vagina. I’m tired of thinking about it, having my attention drawn to it by these archon’s, I’m tired of it being burned or raped or molested.

So tired! I tried to ignore it.

And these dude out here….. Just make it worse…. When they sexualize everything. They don’t give a fuck about me…. Just fucking. And if I was elevated… Maybe cool. But now I need love. I don’t know how else to put it. 

I can only take so much of this before I break down.

TV on the Radio: Opposite World. ๐Ÿ“บ “Stranger Things”

I have spoken about opposite world for a while now. It was a big part of the “delusion” I was dragged into. You can prolly search my blog and find a few posts. 

The more I went into occult groups on facebook trying to understand what was happening to me, was it a spell, voodoo, abilities, was abucted, a puppet, possessed by body snatchers, the more i was met with all these occultist would keep talking about the balance of dark and light. That “as above so below“. Honestly they are the only ones that speak about this, so I doubt they are getting raped and molested by demons so its easy for them to talk about “balancing the darkness”, because its only relatative to the illusionary power or “knowledge” they think they have. Or that anyone that wasn’t aware of the dark…. Or generally happy was a “spiritual bypasser”. 

It took me a while to watch second season of “Stranger Things”, to be honest mainly because it had kids in it and I really didn’t have the stamina to be raped or molested by this Archon Reptilian Entity while it said sick things and then called ME a child molestor. Because this demon wants me to “Die of Molestation”. 

My fear was then sparked again Eleven was named the sexiest woman by W Magazine and I and most of my friends where like WTF, she’s 13years old! And then Mara Wilson who played Matilda back in the day wrote an article for Elle Magazine talking about all the letters from pedophiles she received when she was a little girl and how they would make sick videos with her face imposed on it and it fucked her up. 

So with all that, and knowing how disgusting these Archon Reptilians are, I opted out watching this season. I knew after reading that article about her being named sexy the Archon’s would target her in my psyche. And I wouldn’t get to actually enjoy the show. Its an awesome show anf i love Winoa Ryder, shes kinda my spirit animal right now. It’s not hypersexualized like say “Girls” or “Game of Thrones” which I just couldn’t get through. My ex (twin flame) wanted me to watch Game of Thrones and even before all this happened I didn’t want to watch the rape scene and ended up covering my eyes with his arms until it was over. Its was too much. 

Either way thanks W Magainze for sensationalizing and sexualizing children and one of the few shows out there that’s actually not. 

ANYWAY. 

I mean things have dialed down to about 25% which is still too much for me, and at times they flare up and I can’t put my finger on the reason why…. I observe and catch trends quickly. Maybe there isn’t an actual reason. Just random. Not based on me or what I do. Even though I’ve tried everything to keep it at a minimum. 

So things are at 25% give or take the day. I KNOW for a fact I am not a child molestor and would never be in any lifetime, realm or plane. And I’ve watched “Once Upon a Time” all 6/7 seasons 3 times in row at least and Zootopia 2 times a day for a year….. So its time for a change. 

I’m not a TV person actually. I love music, but TV (and writing) engages my mind a bit more to take my mind away from these demons. Listening to music is intimate for me. Before I would go to my special place and make dances that melded into painting turning into a music video. I did the mostly on my commute to or from work. Open my eyes and I was in a train car of 100 people in a city of 8 million. Close my eyes and I was alone in my mind painting beautiful songs in my cave. 

What happens when you have unwelcomed guests in your cave? That won’t leave. Scribbling their song of fear. Perversion ……. And hatred over my personal graffiti. 

So fuck it, it doesn’t matter either way. I know myself enough and want to watch something different. I am currently on episode 3 season 2 when I was triggered to write this. 

One of the characters talked about being in “upside down” world where he is able to see these dark entities and reptile things that don’t like light or heat. Being stuck between dimensions. 

In many ways it feels like this “opposite world” where I see these Archon circles, Reptilians, Geckos, Trolls, Ghosts banshees, portals, False light floating symbols, that can not with stand the Sun or joy or love. So in a way I become a vampire always in the dark, because these energy vampires keep me weak enough to not go outside but alive enough to feed off and play with me. 

I know its not real real. … Like “Stranger Things” is not a documentary. But certain shows or songs, words always find there way to me AFTER I’ve experience certain things and I’m like “OMG you guys its a synchronicity! ” but thats the lure of the dark, and false light always keep you guessing, mysteriousness so you always stay in the trap of trying to figure things out because YOU think there is some gift….. A pot of goal at the end of that dark evil rainbow. Either way I want out. 

Maybe “Stranger Things” is taking from what some of us are really experiencing and turning it into entertainment. Like those scientists represent CERN, which I have not read up on but my friends, who experience the same I, believe that CERN did something to our world that made us vulnerable and more tangible to dark forces. Like they “lifted the veil”, only we want shit put back down. And ELeven (from stranger things) and the other kid is Us who can feel or sense what is happening to us or the other side. Its strange cause other people are having astral sex and atral projecting to Saturn. .. And past life regressing and channeling and having a grand old time and I’m like “the fuck are y’all doing?”. Even when I would read about people doing this I was like “nah I’m good”. There was no lure for me at most I wanted to do shrooms and maybe tripp and see like smurfs or something, but again that would have been from MY own mind. Not whatever disgusting hive mind from the 4th dimension that uses radio, WiFi, emf waves to penetrate our cells and move around or communicate or take over our bodies. The ones that are stalking me prefer ambient (none focused on sound) TV as it seems easier to associate words with their agenda then from my mind. 

So that’s my “Stranger Things” experience, only I’m kinda living it and it sucks. 

 https://youtu.be/j1-xRk6llh4

Princess. ๐Ÿ‘ธ

So I was scrolling through Facebook and Bored Panda had the cutest clip about this Dad who Makes Transforming Dresses

I’m into fashion believe it or not. I use to sew crazy performance outfits for my friends who were in the Vogue Ballroom scene. So this dress had what would be called an “effect” ….  Just that little extra bit of wow or drama. 

Either way I’m watching this clip in aww my mouth dropped from the creativity. And I knew any girl or femme would love to have something like that its like you turn into an instant princess. 

BUT OF COURSE THE ENTITY COMES IN and starts saying I’m watching child porn. And I’m like HUH? 

And so I just started crying…. Because I realized I may never think the way I use to ever again. Just…. normal. I have this curse…. This entity……. This inserted thought constantly talking about child abuse in a gross manner. It doesn’t matter what the topic is…. It could furniture….. Or tree. This entity will find a way to pedo that topic to torment my life. And I’m over it. 

I’m sorry I just started crying…. And I write when I cry. I’m tired of being molested and burned and constantly having to think about this topic. I’ve really tried to ignore it…. But then I bust out crying and I can’t help it it upsets me and I know they love it….. its there juice. 

Maybe I should have been heartless…. I wish I had a different fear….. A different thing that upsets me so much…. Idk…. Maybe Protecting the Rainforest or something…..

Just sucks looking at something innocently and then having it turned into something disgusting as soon as you smile. 

Whatever. ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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