The Matrix: Stick Figures

So another thing (among many) that I see with in this hell matrix that I am stuck in is at my friends house I see all these huge stick figures. Like heads with spines and then tripod foot. And I have seen them shoot off of each other as well. So one long “stick” or “spine” in the middle and then a small head on top and the two “arms” where it seems like arms would almost be. Maybe a little lower or in the middle. And and a small head on each of those sticks.

This feeds into something that I heard a while back that “reptilians travel in 3s” which may not be exactly true to the species but maybe to what is going on as most of us are only seeing in part.

Maybe I am seeing the bare bones of an entity before they can create a creature to scare anyone. And maybe these creatures are 3 parts to them. Idk I’m just thinking out loud. I was told I had 3 poltergeist on me before I knew anything was really going on for real. Just had a funny feeling like something wasn’t right. So I went to a psychic and she said I had 3 poltergeist šŸ˜³ cause my lights kept turning out and doing crazy stuff. Another woman a demonologist said my “spirit guide” pick up some new friends along the way. Some real assholes they are that is fo sho.

I have been more attacked at my best friends house like I was at my parents house in the beginning of all of this. They want me to run away like they wanted me to do at my parents. And it’s the same pattern. New look, new house same shpeel.

Of course they keep dangling the attack of my godson in my face. But that is not my choice that is theirs. And I won’t know if they are still attacking him is I am gone. They did they same thing with my sister when I saw them attacking my sister. Told me to kill myself or to run away and they won’t attack her anymore. And I was my sister caretaker during her stroke recovery. Same shpeel.

Either way. I think those stick figures accumulate other Astral parasite from the matrix and create a “light body” of sorts you can do a lot with it if you create it with the right geometry the right matrix. It becomes its own world. It’s where dreams are made. Illusions are created and eventually lies are told.

I wish the lie didn’t hurt this bad. But it does. It’s bad for the soul, the heart, the mind. 5 minutes of these astral demons playing around in our lives can cost us our lives.

Advertisements

Twin Flame: GhostBusters šŸ‘»

img_2721

So I saw someone read an old journal entry about me thinking that that one these have been around me all my life and it wasn’t my ex’s fault. (sorry its really bad writing i was going through it). Trying to take accountability. Which I do, to some extent. I take accountability for bugging out lol I mean I as much as I can for the circumstances. But I uncovered as much as I can with what little knowledge I have about these fucking demons.

So while thinking about the fact that they jumped my innocent godson for no reason whatsoever. I now go back and think that maybe not all, but the really bad ones come from my ex. Again I have never been attacked like this in my life. To the point I can’t move some days. And I’m on stupid fucking meds that don’t work. And even my doctor is saying I’m completely sane. But I’m having this insane experience. I’m so close to showing her this photo.

This isn’t a photo of the main one that bothers me but an example of them.

These demons said they were bored with me and needed “a mother play” and then said they would “she (my bestie) needs a man play” because they thought that would get me get me out of the house. and then like a week or two later my best friend got a boo piece. and i don’t know if her demon/ angels playing around with mine but i would never want her to go through with what i went through. But i know i saw a little demon on top of my godson head and he was bugging out. i know i saw entities at the children park too lurking around as well. which was HELLA creepy to the max. My friend who removed the demon from me and my godson said he couldn’t find who or what sent the demon to us. hmmm….. so ….

So these demons are like jumping around trying to attack me and anyone I love to make me feel like a curse so I kill myself. And thankfully I got my friend to remove it. Now I can’t say for sure if my ex did this intentionally or not but I am pretty sure it came from him because it didn’t start until we were about to break up.

IDK I’m just thinking out loud. waiting for a miracle. tired of this cursed life. honestly i dedicated my life to helping people and being there for people and i feel like this is a really shit experience. I never expected like a palace or much but my whole life ruined SUCKS BALLS! and i just don’t know what to do most days. like my friend really needs me to babysit cause im like the only one that has always done it for free (i mean she will give me a metro card or cook a meal), and spending time with my bestie has been healing for me as well like just getting out the house… and im like if they are attacking my godson what now do i just go crawl under my rock again? shit is fucking me up! at least i give a shit enough to attempt to do something about it. unlike my ex.

people out here thinking they are playing with angels. no boo boo take a closer look. i have seen them wear costumes. they have toys too like cars and something that LOOKS like and iPad but i can’t say it actually works like one. They use it for dreams and visions. they are fucking assholes.

This is is what they use to make you feel like your twin flame is with you. It is not your actual twin flame or their higher self. It’s not an alien. And Astral demon, that has was watched me get raped every day for years. So fuck all of them.

Why won’t God help me?! Why!!!?

 

I Gave Up Everything šŸ˜ž

So I think because the story of Job we are encouraged to just let things go when life is taking a nose dive into a hot concrete pavement.

I mean I let go my job which I loved, my relationships, friendships, all my possessions (cause I could no longer afford to have them in storage), my comfort, dreams for what I thought my life would be like, health, money (3k in spiritual services), beliefs, food, sex, even at one point stopped wearing jewelry, ……….. I honestly don’t know what more to give up. I know the voices wanted me to run away and be homeless AGAIN. And I’m not doing that. The main reason I didn’t run away was that my sister had a stroke and I needed to be there to help her otherwise I’m not sure what I would have done to try to make this voice and torture stop. But I gave a lot. And I’m done giving up everything. Short of my life (which they even asked me to commit suicide almost everyday and I attempted twice because of the child sex abuse visions).

And while I am all for Gods corrections at what point are we just allowing ourselves to just be tortured and misdirected by demons who want to present themselves as Gods or Authorities?

I made the intention to go back to school hopefully next year and so what I have been doing is studying “spirituality” in its different forms. Recently studying I tried to study the Zohar which is the study of the soul and Gods correction of the soul but the demons just like the Bible made it extremely difficult to read and study. Twisting concepts around. I have come to plateau with these demons. I know how they work. They say and do the same things over and over again. I see what they look like even if they look different. So more or less I see how they build on each other or connect to each other and me. So I’m pretty much done and annoyed. But more annoyed and a bit disheartened that I might not be able to finish school like I want to. I just don’t want to waste money or fuck up cause of this experience or be in class and them talking about how I want to fuck my teacher or classmates all day. Cause that is NOT how I think!

I have been waiting on this miracle, but I’m not sure to what extent I am suppose to step out and what part I’m suppose to wait. I’ve been laying in this bed for a good 2.5 years and I’m done. I’m as zen as I’m gonna get. I’m not a threat to anyone. Maybe myself if I don’t figure out how to get this demon out. Cause I KNOW it’s not schizophrenia…. I have photos proving it’s not…. it’s definitely an entity and it stalks me all day and never shuts up. Why it’s stalking me I don’t know, but I can’t say I’ve done anything to justify this torture. I’m not perfect, but shit man…… this is out of control.

So I guess I wanted to check myself on all that I have given up on thinking it would help me shake this demon and it hasn’t helped.

Taking these extremes have helped me in same ways uncover who these demons really are. No they weren’t my ex, or my coworkers as they pretended to be. No it wasn’t God (thank God for discernment). No this wasn’t schizophrenia because they were stupid enough to show up in my photos. And this wasn’t because I was a terrible person and deserved it, no different than like anyone else that is sick and deserved it. You can do everything right and still get sick.

So I still have a lot to sort through. But I while giving up everything DID uncover them…… I am starting to feel like I am only self harming and living a life of misery (which is what they want). It’s so weird being a happy depressed person. Like I still have optimism but like I wanna die cause I hate this experience and the pedo shit.

There are days I wake up in bed and the demon says it wants to have sex with me and of course I say NO and of course it molests me anyway. It will try hard to make me almost feel sleepy or drunk. And I will end up going back to sleep because my energy is zapped. Like that’s my fucking sad ass life. The pedo/ father shit didn’t start until I realized it wasn’t my ex ( false twin flame) and I started rejecting this demon. My life is SO fucking sad and lame. But I’m trying to remain hopeful. I guess it was my fault for thinking two people could love each other so much they could have telepathy. But it wasn’t my fault. I just didn’t know.

Womp womp!

Anyway!

Targeted Individual: Emotions have been replaced with pedo shit.

I barely have the space to be in my me-ness juices. Like just being in my magic…. Ya know?

I find myself shutting down more and more because of the pedo shit and me trying not to get hyped about it. Some days i can fight, some days i just cry, most days i am just numb now. Numb to not feel the pain of being tortured with pedo thoughts, jokes, words, triggers or insinuations by the alien demons.

I mean I’ve tried everything to make my life “pure”. Given up so much. Tried combat them with more positive thoughts …… Actions. But nothing seems to work to make them stop molesting me or pedo torture.

Is it as strong as 3 years ago? No. Does it matter? No. I have flash backs of some of the worse viaions they forced on me like a war vet. I have ptsd cause of this shit. I try to push along and just be my normal self but ……… There are days i feel guilty for being around my godson with these thoughts. Even though i know they arent mine and i originally felt that the biggest act of love was supporting my best friend and my godson despite my experience. But therw is guilt there. Its complicated. And there are a lot of days where my best friend needs me to babysit and honeatly i really dont want to. I know what it means for my mind and body. It means torture.

I try to have positive thoughts……. But again they are often twisted and i have to catch them and correct when the alien demons are trying to twist my thoughts around. Its exhausting.

Im not sure what to do anymore. I approached this from every possible angle, sought help and prayed waited…… I will never get use to this.

Every day i wait for the next day hoping its better….. And its not. Just constantly waiting for a better day. And im starting to lose hope.

I just wish i could be me….. And just be in myself and not what these pieces of shit want me to feel. So i feel what they wantme to feel and im going numb and im losing touch with my emotions a bit. I dont know how else to explain it. They are literally beating a dead horse now.

Anytime now God, anytime!

Twin Flame: Astral Sex

Someone came to my blog by seaching for “astral sex with twin flame” i guess i wanted to make it clear as someone who can see, feel and hear the astral. As someone who has been through the “twin flame game”, anything you mess with in the astral is NOT your twin flame. They are entities. A large entity made up if smaller entity of the groteque manner. They can use light in the imagination/dream state to make you THINK it’s a specific person, they can mimick voices, they can even tell the future by influencing it. But they are not that person. It is an entity, a nice broader word for alien or demon. At best they maybe attachedto your twin flame or just became attached to you if you were looking for your twin flame to harvest sexual energy from you.

You give them an inch and they will take over your life!

They would force me to orgasm as i would wake up making me think my ex (so called twin flame) was try to please me. It felt real. It felt like he was holding my hand sometimes. He wasnt. It is not him or his higher self. It is complete entity play. It is rape (if they are impostering a human twin flame).

I don’t want to incite fear into anyone. And belueve me i would rather have the daydream. But i feel it is my duty to let people know at least my truth…… Because eventually the entities were trying to make me so depressed about my twin flame they were trying to force me into suicide saying we would be together my next life time. Yes! These entities impersonated my ex saying we will be together next life time and i should kill myself!

Only reason i ever attempted was because once i stopped believing the twin flame thing the entities stopped impostering my ex and then started showing me sick visions of child abuse and i wanted to die.

Whatever these entities are at the end of the day they are gross liars. So dont fall for the tricks.

Why can I see them?

I often wonder why I can see these Entities and others can’t. I mean my friends can see them in EMF photos I take so I’m not TOTALLY crazy.

But I have not showed anyone super close to me the photos for fear of what they will think of me or that it will open them up to these beings. I honestly don’t want anyone to go through this. But if you are already walking on the weird side of life then cool let’s compare notes.

The first time I noticed them I was on the toilet and the voices were just yakity yacking away and I let out a big sign and I saw a clear circle in front of me ripple through air and tiny sparkles. I then focused my eyes on the space in front of me and noticed the circle in front of me. I breathed on it again ….. ripple in space. It’s almost like seeing heat waves off of the hot concrete. Clear but a bit distorted. That was the first time I saw them and how they are set up all around my house. I mean it’s everywhere almost.

From there I saw the dark energy blobs that are basically just another form of the clear circles. They can be either dark, white or clear. Then I started seeing their eyes and they tried to scary me chasing me around the house but I faced them head on. I smacked on with a bible for being near my sister. But I still didn’t see them completely only know that something is there. It wasn’t until I took EMF photos with the “long exp” camera app on iPhone did I actually see more of what they look like and then things started to make sense. Like how they line only my bedroom with smaller Entities. How they are pretty much all over the house. How they stand near the TV and why I would think their voices were coming off the tv. Still not sure how it fully works but seeing them near the TV makes sense I just assume they are connected to me at the same time.

Then I started to see them glow with their full outline seen by my bare eyes. Often when I would see them directly they will turn away. I’m not sure why. They had sunglasses on at some point. So there is something with me looking directly at them that they don’t like.

So what is it about ME that allows me to see them and no one else. Like I have pretty good vision 20/30 I believe. I’ve also slowed down A LOT (I’m usually a really fast paced person) so just slowing down and actually noticing what is in “empty” space could be another reason. They also choose to show themselves to me when they wanted to scare me. And I think it’s funny now. Uhm …. I mean is my pineal gland like super activated? I was trying to turn this thing off…. eating a regular American diet (which I’m more of a vegetarian), I listen to the kardashians all day because of my sister so that’s mind numbing. I just don’t know how. Is there a chemical in my brain that’s allowing me to see them?

What is it? Again this plateau is really frustrating….. I can feel them but can’t touch them. Her them but can’t figure out which one of the many Entities is the one constantly talking to me. I can see them but barely prove it. I mean unless your on the crazy boat like I am your mind won’t wrap around actually seeing this Entities in photos.

Part of me want to try ayahuasca again the first time all I did was poop a lot…. no experience really happened.

It’s like wanting to shake something off that’s stuck to you…. I hate the way my body feels with them. It feels heavy and in pain (severe migraines), or I feel like waves of creepy crawls on my butt, or on my vagina. It’s just sooo weird. What is happening to me? I got all these beings attached to me like a magnet and I have to carry them around. And I just want my body back.

Soon as I get my money flow this fall, I’m doing every possible detox you can think of! Gut detox,parasite,liver and then kidneys, then the gut again and then maybe a heavy metal detox and try to practice raw vegan one month of every season. Even though I got attacked when I was glowing up on my vegan diet I’m going back ……. and if they attack me like they did before then that will just be another data point for me.

I just wish I had someone I could actually talk about this stuff with to better understand. I feel like I have a super power that’s pointless. It’s like ok cool I can see them but I can’t peel them off of me….. so what’s the point?

Will the truth ever be revealed?

Turning My Spiritual Attack into a Blessing

So don’t get me wrong. I have my days. And I want it to stop and I am standing my ground firm on that the best way I know how.

However…. my eyes have opened to knew worlds and communities of people I never knew existed. If it wasn’t for the internet I might be dead to be honest. Between the twin flame community and the targeted Individual community and the schizophrenic community there are so many that I can relate to. Most of us have learned to be soft with each other and built heart connections based on our traumas that we really can’t share with many people with out sounding completely looney.

But it’s important to really talk about it and unravel everything. Even as much as I write about everything it’s still difficult. Multiply storylines and merging storylines happened as well as confusion so at times I can only follow one frame work but usually there were multiple happening at the same time.

I want nothing more then to stop hearing voices all day long, and being raped by demons and being called vile names and shown distrusting images.

But this torture only propelled my fight to be outspoken for those who are are afraid to speak, to research, to observe.

I will always say I traded my FEAR for CURIOSITY. That was the first step to no fear. I picked up my pen and drew what I saw or I typed in my blog exactly what I was experiencing in that moment.

I then was able to reference back to these things at a later date and hopefully see a progression of sorts. And there has been progress. Slow but progress.

Carl Jungs Shadow Work also helped me learn WHY the demon aliens chose the topics they chose. Shadow Work is like root work ….. it’s getting to the root of an issue and a core belief system. I know that child sexual abuse is a big trigger for me cause of a childhood wound (that I mention in this blog) and because it’s just wrong. And they know it upsets me so just keep hitting that button over and over and over again. But I realized where it stems from and made some piece because at first it seemed like it was coming from no where. Like hearing “you’re a child molester” one day out of no where after not thinking about my childhood trauma for eons just seems random. But now I know why they picked it. Because I would murder them for what they did to me….. and they know it I ain’t above that shit. I will bust some šŸ‘½ alien mars attack heads idgaf!

ANYWAYS! šŸ˜‡

So other than getting to meet new people and expanding my community (which has been difficult due to homophobia and low key racism in the spiritual community but that’s a whole other story) and learning more about myself, I also seen a whole other world *cue Aladdin theme song*.

While this world was scary and confusing. If this this world exist ….. I know there is a God. While they def look like aliens and act like demons…. I’m not sure WHAT dimension I am in exactly. So again trade the fear of the unknown for curiosity. Not sure how long I will be here but I can document as much as I can while I am.

They can hurt us, but figure out HOW they hurt us. They won’t kill you (least that I know of) just make you want to off yourself. Suicide is kind of like their signature move.

The more we strengthen ourselves and document for others struggling, hold space for other struggling, support them, allow them to feel, listen to them, the more we can start shedding light on these alien demons that are holding innocent humans hostage.

We can turn this into a blessing. Alien/demons are real! Let’s stop acting like it’s just Hollywood. Where you think they get the creativity from? So! Let’s turn it into a blessing and flip this script on all of them real quick. They messed with the wrong generation!

Peace and Love

ā¤ļøšŸ™šŸ¼ā¤ļø

I want my body back!

I want my body, mind, soul, spirit back NOW!

I am waiting to see if i can get some cash flow so i can start eating better and organic again. I dont care what any omnivore says….. My body can not process meat the way others can. May on occasion or festivities….. But an every day basis of my diet. Nope. I gained soooooooo much weight.

When i went raw i lost 20lb in a month but thats too much in a month. And i dont want flab. Its difficult to cook in my parents house cause my mom is always in the kitchen and the refrigerator is always full with left overs.

I am slightly afraid that my vegetarian/vegan lifestyle had something to do with what seemed like my spontaneous awakening. But i have to do what i know is right for my body.

I’ve mapped my mental landscape and the games the demonic aliens play. But i want to get rid of them desperately.

At night in my dreams they take control of my spirit/consciousness and drive it through dreams. I cant say exactly how but its like they wear my spirit and drive it while im asleep creating an illusion dreamscape to play in. Which is 100 times better than their sad reality of floating around in space waiting to fuck with someone believe me.

I miss running….. Sweating…. Biking…. I had lost 130+lb over a couple of years and was about 40lb away from my goal weight when i got attacked by the demon aliens. And i slowly became inactive becauce the weight of them hurt to simply walk to breathe. I felt like i was being choked, like my brain was in a vice. So i stopped all activity. Then tgey forced me to quit my job by the sick images they were showing me and saying to me. Then i became depressed and pretty much only ate cheese sandwhiches and cookies all day for like a year. It was a sad look. All my vital came back ok. My blood pressure was a bit high but nothing my doctors seem to take as seriously as i was.

Even being unhealthy i still see hear and feel them. My body is no longer in an alkaline state (i was lighly following Dr. Sebi Akaline guidelines but not strictly). Prior i was 7+ph.

I almost want to cut off all my hair again. Idk. My hsir is just sitti g on my head in a bun all day. Wasting shampoo AND tons of conditioner on it.

Im like wasti g to go into warrior mode ….. Just been waiting and waiting. So tired of waiting. Waiting for money, answers, healing, something!

The soul and the spirit i believe is different i believe. I believe the soul is the observer the spirit is the driver. What animates us. The electricity that runs through our body. Unfortunately this can be hacked. I dont think our soul can be hacked maybe im wrong. The soul is pure. But the body is a bio computer. It is a reciever of information. And it is being hacked and viruses and back doors and Trojans and identify theft is being carried out by these demon aliens. I mean they sounded just like my ex (identy theft). They knew what song he was goung to send me 2 weeks before he sent it (back door).

But i havent fleshed this out too much. But i dont know why they do what they do but its wrong and bad andcevil and there will soon be a reckoning for them and who ever is working with them.

Some Truths About My Experience

1. The voices have gradually (i mean really slowly) over 3 years have become lower in volume with or with out medication. It went from a concert amp in my brain to maybe that of conversation level/thought level volume. This included zaps becoming buzzes. Ect. But there are still occasionally the bursts of very loud voices or electrocution.

2. I transended the storyline of Twin Flame. Even when i still didn’t believe it, i made the choice it still played out but it is not as every 5 seconds a thought about my ex like it use to be. Occasionally there might be a thought. Or hey i might bring him up when talking to my friend about relationships. But what these demons where doing was abuse. I rarely react to their negative intrusive thoughts about him. Or how he is better off with out me or how we are suppose to get back together. Or some twisted thought. I feel as though through hard work of the mind and standing my ground in my belief i transended the twin flame game.

3. Targeted Individual. Now the demons kind of started off with targeted individual/thought broad casting/ gang stalking only this was being done more on an astral and semi on a physical plane (if that makes any sense). It started out with my ex and then my coworkers. Then all of new york city and thats when i said this is impossible. Once i quit my job that aspect stopped a bit but i didnt have the language of targeted individual. More recently a started researching it more as i gained more insight and as i did….. Guess what the demons did…. YOU BET! Gang Stalking. More physical this time. So im on the bus or street walking and someone is holding up a cell phone or passes by me and these demons are trying to convince me that they are gang stalkers following me. All they while before that was not on their agenda. But NOW all of a sudden it is. That is how desperate they are for a storyline and a game to play.

As much as i can identify with both Twin Flames and Targeted Individuals i believe i have trancended these points of view and these games of the mind. I was blessed (if we want to call losing everything that) enough to spend a 2 years in almost meditation to really get to the bottom of why my life was spiraling out of control.

4. What i havent been able to transcend is this alien demon reptilian spirit matrix thing. It is what i see, it is what i hear, dream, feel. Being called vile names all day. It’s a plateau that i have reached. And i desperately want to shake it off like i did the others. I want it to be a lie …… Like the others. What ive seen. I want it to not be true. Seriously.

I know everyone has their unique situation. So they will peel away their own layer and also get stuck at their own plateau. And i hope eventually transcend. But thats what makes it so hard for us to come together ya know? But i respect each persons path only to share mine in hopes they can shed another layer of this bullshit. And maybe help me shed another layer of mine.

This is just such an awkward place to be in. I have my standards. Im standing my ground. Firm. I refuse to lower my standard to just accepting my life with these demons as normal. I will not stop. I will find other ways. I will keep praying. I will strengthen my faith. I will keep researching. Keep being a big mouth. I dont care. Having ghost aliens rise out of my belly and being raped by demons every day is not a normal life. It is not a quality life. And shit there are people who would probably like that shit so i dont know why they are fuxin with me.

I dont need a title of 144k or light worker or a star seed to know i am a decent person who cares about people and the planet. Thats just a lulliby to my tragedy. This shit has to stop. I spoken to tooo many people about this. Way too many people. And those are just people who are open about it. It has gotten out of hand. Thats just our spiritual life. And we expect our reality to change any time soon? When we have innocent people trapped in their homes afraid of everything because the slightest interaction will get them raped or electrocuted by demons? Its out of control. Until we start being honest about our spiritual lives how we going to chang the physical? I pray for my brothers and sisters who are suffering from this i really do. Like actually.

Im trying to keep the faith. Just some random thoughts.

Twin Flame Be Like: Dance

I only identify with Twin Flame as a part of my story. I dont believe my ex is my actual twin flame as the demon voices really wanted me to believe. They wanted me to be obsessed with him and in pain …. Heartache. And i aint got time for that. The demon alien assholes fucked with the wrong chick.

BUT i am emo and i love aft culture and relatable content i donhave a sense of humor. So this choreography felt relatable to the twin flame thing for me when ibwas going through it so i wanted to put it here.

Enjoy it either way.