New Age Healing Trap

So over the last few months I have been to healers. And I was REALLY HOPING they could help me with my situation. I mean they can see the astral or matrix and beyond what I can see remotely.

See I see the astral right in front of me. I can see it physically in the 3D world on people. Not remotely or long distance. I see the astral all around me. Connected to people, places (building/parks) and thing (cars, things in home etc). So I don’t know how it works for someone who can remotely view.

However I need help. and while I want to wait on God, the nature/subject of my spiritual attacks and the pain, makes me feel like I have to try everything in my my means to make it stop.

I have an alien looking demon octopus spider thing that is “spiritually” or better “psychically” attacking new through the astral/matrix both mentally (non stop fucking talking) , emotionally (instilling false emotions) and physically (migraines, sparks of lights and shadows, back pain etc). Now this thing calls me a “child molester” all day. And will even describe the molestation of kids in my life in some way. After it describes it or says something it will then go on to molest/rape me! And I’m not a fucking child molester and it’s gross 🤢🤢🤢🤢 and no one wants to hear about no kids stuff. It’s so terrible.

One of my “love and light” new age light worker friends went so far as to say “maybe I was in a past life”, like fuck OUT OF HERE! So she fashions herself as Skemet or Isis reincarnated, but I’m a child molester? She (like many others) had them call her one too, just not as much as I have. Does she think SHE was a child molester? Then she said it must be a generational curse from my bloodline.

Imma need y’all new Agers to puck a story and stick to it.

I know that I think child molesters are the worse thing in the world. And my best friend has actually worked with me on having some compassion for them because many were molested too and they are probably suffering spiritually because of these mast bobble head alien demon fucks. And I think because it is a childhood fear and I want to protect children (I said this since I was a child), it’s easy to attack me saying I’m the very opposite of who I know myself to be. And I think because of this attack the need to spectate myself from someone like that it is easy to lack compassion for them because I am being attacked.

Think about it. Someone who is not gay, the alien demon calling them gay or homosexual, and then because they are being attacked they over compensate by having hatred towards gay people. Either taking it to the extent they actually hate or harm a gay person.

Granted child molesters are 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢. But they are sick. I’m not sure if they can be reformed but I can still have compassion for them as possible victims while still hating their actions.

I aim my hatred correctly. These demon alien things are fucked up and gross rapists!

With THAT BEING SAID!

I went to healers in desperation. I figured they know more than I about this dark side. Light workers kept calling me “of the dark” when I would beg for information on my situation. I could not understand why I was of the dark when most of my life has been to serve people of my community I gave over 15 years of service. Try to find the flow of God, to make my God and my parents proud of me since I was a fuck up in my teen years. And now I’m just a schizophrenic loser who sleeps all day because I can deal with the pain of entity attacks or listening to these rambling demon aliens idiots all day.

So you gave these healers my money. Hoping for healing or a reasonable reason this was happening. A magician told me that my spirit was a truth teller taking night classes in hell to get over fear. Oooooookay. The that my friend paid for said that I was in a room full that looked like a ball from the 29s dimly lit and a Chimera came in and said he was going to protect me (my sciatica felt ok for a day before coming back).

The latest that I paid for said I had a spider on my back and removed it. My sciatica help so much better and I felt lighter walking, however the migraines came back so my guess is that the spider just moved to the top of my head at that time.

The latest healer said that the “male part of my spirit” feels hopeless and that no one can save him and that anything she does will not work. 🤔🙄 Then she offered me to talk to her husband who does this work and that it will be “life changing”. Soon as I stopped talking to her after a week the sciatic came back.

Anything I do is to get rid of these nasty entities that are attacking my mind and body. My life.

I feel so alone now. That last healer was my final dig at trying to get help. To maybe someone understanding me. I really don’t have money to waste like that. If the healer can not permanently remove an entity then they are not healing. I’m tired of excuses. And I have done a lot of work to aid this process.

And I am suppose to wait on the grace of God while these demons rape me? It doesn’t make sense. I’m suppose to have a relationship with God when I do t feel like God is here? Isn’t that a little crazy? Like how? When there is prof he is not here with me? How many times must I repent? Account?

I want my mind and body back. Simple. I want these nasty demons removed and protection. That’s it. Seriously these demons are HEAVY. They have weight energetically. It’s not easy or fun.

Ever have a day where you are walking through your normal routine and it just feels hard to walk or like you walking through water or lag? That’s what most days feel like for me.

I know a lot of people are learning. But I don’t think I should be giving so much money for people who are learning about this shit. And they should have advanced people they trust to refer you to. Just over this bullshit. If I was a healer my main concern is protecting our people and giving knowledge as to what is happening to us. Donation passed. Seriously if any of these healers got rid of these nasty fuckers I would be more than generous. Guess I gotta really go at this alone, God is not here, Jesus isn’t here, these healers care about the coins, and I am over it.

False Teachings: Kundalini, False “Awakenings”, Ascension… The New Age 🙄

So this was a comment on a video I was watching. I can attest to the false and misleading teachings.

Again I slipped into New Age trying to find God for me. And trying to figure out why I was having “supernatural” experiences, And just found some wacky stuff. But at the heart of it there was some…… idk truth to the matter but it is only meant to suck you in even deeper.

So while I might not see the “serpent going up my back” I have seen snakes in the “astral” and I have seen these other things placed over the forehead that represents the 3rd eye.

One time I was walking down the street, neck deep in the thick of this experience. And a old school (but young) psychic woman stopped me on the street. She said she had something to tell me. And I went to her apartment. She said I had a “tear in my aura”, 🤯🙄🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ (okie dokie) she pulled some cards and asked me what do I think the blindfold represents. For some reason I said protection (and I know how to read tarot unfortunately). In that moment the blindfold for me meant protection and keeping us from seeing certain things.

I don’t know if God removed “the veils” from my eyes, but the way the Entities try to cover them is COMPLETELY different than the way I have lived my life over the last 30 summin years. Like I can actually see a black patch in front of my eyes. It’s subtle enough to not completely ruin my physical vision. But still there. This black patch (or attachment) creates visions illusions dreams. And when they remove them when they feel like it, I can see them (be it real astral or an illusion) something is there and or something put something there. So this aspect developed in 2017 a year after hearing the voices. Seeing the entities would scare anyone. Seeing Troll/Demon/ Reptilian, Alien heads Floating around, Praying Mantis, it’s uhhhh not fun. I mean some may think it’s fun but it gets old real quick. Especially once you realize you don’t really have much control over the experience.

I wasn’t even deep into yoga. Just went to two classes with my coworkers to have a “healthy lifestyle”. I’m not gonna lie I enjoyed the strengthening aspect of yoga and stretching areas that normally would not get attention. But honestly in my process of elimination I have no problem letting that go as well.

Like as much as people want to deny it SOMETHING IS UP and A LOT of people are feeling it one way or another.

I mean to me the 3rd Eye is a light receptor. That is my take. Super Natural or not, I don’t think anyone would see the “supernatural realms” if these entities were not in VERY close proximity. Like I saw sparkles when I was younger but that is an attack from a further range by an entity. But if the entity is close by (at least for me personally), you might see black shadows, actual entities, get pain in the body.

Entities as I keep reiterating in this blog , from my observations, are made up of light, light can apparently have consciousness and through their own consciousness they can create illusions with the light that they are. That is the best way I can describe it.

Some want to play with these realms and do you boo, but not me. At best I want to release myself. And that’s been my goal ever since this stuff started.

But it has been interesting putting together some of these concepts together. At least I have SOME understanding of my spiritual oppression.

Targeted Individual: Meditative State

I spent about 2 years+ so far in a meditative state.

This was me training myself. I did not have a guru. Youtube videos were not doing it for me. It was an organic way of just being aware of my what was happening. An observation of the things that were happening to me that i could not control.

I was being shown strong visions i could not control, my body was vibrating and convulsing, emotions i could not control and often did not connect with. I see aliens and demons floating around, orbs, sparkles. Hearing the most vile things while they try to convince me that some of these vile thoughts are my own.

It took observation and a slowling down to understand what was me and what was not me.

So an example would be i would in my room and i would hear my dad go into to living room. The voices/demon aliens would then show me a vision of a penis ( i have no idea if it is my fathers cause i aint see it and i aint trying to) and then say i want to have sex with my father. Now the awareness of my father being there, that is natural and me. Everything else is NOT. And it use to upset me to the point i would cry because i just could not understand why out of no where one day i am having these incestuous thoughts. But I had to realize they are not mine.

Even one day i my dad and i had dinner together (first time ever) when i went to visit him on the beach and i was admiring his big bright blue eyes and of course the demons aliens turned it gross and raped me there at the table (to make it seem like i was turned on) saying i was attracted to my father. When i was simply cherishing him.

Any attempt at building a loving positive thought was/is ruined. And normally that is who i am. I am the kind of person to tell a random stranger how much i love their outfit. (See update below) Lol at least i use to be.

So all attempts are to keep me from loving positive truthful thoughts. They have even recently twisted my thoughts trying to say i am attracted to my best friends boyfriend, and that is the “play they want”. But im not and i think he is great for her. But because i have a positive thoughts around him (for her)…… It has to turn sexual yet again with these alien demons voices. It cant just be that i think he he is great for her …. It has be taken to another level.

Its always taking it to another level. There is no simplicity with these demon alien voices.

They do the same thing with pedo thoughts as well. I love my godson and might appreciate how silly he is being and they just ruin it with a pedo thought. And I’m stuck there with a frown on my face.

So I noticed FOR ME that a lot of this is centeres around men/boys and my love and or appreciation of them and that being either turned sexual or sour. So with the men i ACTUALLY DATED lol the voices didnt like them and would give negative thought like they are cheating on me or think i am ugly ect ect. But for the men in my life who i appreciated and nothing would ever be sexual they turned sexual in my mind.

Again this is something i spoke about in my blog before. THE OPPOSITE. The alien demon voices constantly trying to convince me of the opposite of what something actually is.

They have done so much sexual vile disgusting thoughts so much and i have had less than supportive dating partners that i give up and i am Asexual at this point. I am overwelmed. Lol and its enough work sorting through the bullshit.

But part of the meditative state is finally getting to the point where you dont have to sort anymore. You just know its bullshit. You allow it to roll by. Its still NOT the life i want to live. But its better than giving it as much energy as i did before and crying into my plate everyday cause i just cant cope.

Much of meditation that i have notices is either creating a space like visualizing yourself at a lake …… Or nothingness. And unfortunately i cant do either. It is very difficult for me to create a whole space now like i use to. The alien demons have enough control of my consciousness to effect that or make it exhausting to execute.

And nothingness is impossible because when i close my eyes i see flashing white lights, “energy” lights flowing, other light beings/ entities, sparkles ect. Nothingness is impossible right now because my energy field is not clear. So alot of my meditative state was going from fear to curiosity (drawing and describing them), to just being ok with them there and letting it roll by …… For now. Again not being excited by the situation.

And sometimes they will give a false sense of fear or being scared. Its like an electric shock to the head or body…… Or false sense of anxiety as they get close to my body. But im like DUDES i see y’all all day every day for 3.5 years, you’ve shown me the most vile things one could see and cried till i cant no more…… I know for a fact that the emotions or anxiety that they where trying to get out of me was false feelings. …… Im not sure HOW they do all that they do….. But im sure they had eons to figure it out.

This is not to say i dont have any emotions at all. I recently became emotional about the child that committed suicide because ICE took her father. And it just killed me. I thought about her emotional state. I thought about how spiritually these entities may have got to her……. How the state (ICE) effected her. Just really upsets me when they get our children and elders. Just the state of the world in general is overwelming. And i allow myself to feel for that for a moment.

But i have this situation at hand to focus on.

And staying on top of that. And staying as “zen” as possible and not letting these alien demons take anymore from my life than they already have.

update: lol on my instagram this photo just showed up which I thought was funny since I just mentioned it here.

Spiritual Bypass (Pt Deux) ✌🏼

SOOOOOOOOOO let’s talk about the new way of shaming people in the spiritual community with out directly just calling someone an asshole called …….. “Spiritual Bypassing”.

Which confuses me.

You know how long it took me to cry about my grandpa passing who at the time was more of a father to me than my own? A little less than a decade.

There are two things that I guess that come up for me. 1. That the persons efforts don’t look like what YOUR ideas should be. 2. That there is no divine timing or a process. 3. That spirituality is only reserved for some.

These type of meme or term gets thrown around by leaders or gurus when it WAS MEANT as a critique of spiritual leaders and gurus who refuse to continue to work on themselves while leading in order to maintain power and status.

That is all 😴

Appropriations in Spirituality 🤔

Is there a way to learn about the ancient or current spiritual or medical practices with out appropriating the culture but also giving it the acknowledgement it deserves?

As someone who sought assistance from many practitioners I found some that were new age (a meld of beliefs and practices), and those that practiced native or Indian or other indigenous systems. While I believe that we are all here to learn from one another, I wondered if the same symbols and ancestry was capable of being fully understood by an outsider.

How I see symbols as an American is totally different than say someone in another country.

I have seen others who have been able to take say practicing yoga and really bring a mission to it in their own way. Because their mission was genuinely to heal people in their communities. They don’t over do the whole yoga look or push concepts that are far beyond our reach but meet you where you are at for that moment in your life. Just come as you are, participate and community for that moment.

So I always wonder as the pot starts to meld. And westerns bring practices from afar (or local) to their business model where are the indigenous people located in all of this? Where are their business models?

How can we ensure the people of those practices are not erased by practitioners? Learning these practices are a gift from those cultures. How do we uplift them? These practices were born out of pain and necessity. How can it be applicable in capitalism? And does it loose something when not practiced or sought by those it is indigenous to or with in the confines of capitalism?

Where is the balance? And is it even effective?

I’m half blind, only privy to certain aspect but not others. I see and hear things that are pretty common, but I don’t know where it fits in the grand scheme of things.

Responsibility In Healing 💚

How can I be responsible for myself as well as my loved ones during my own healing process?

Reptilian Demons Archon Curses are like ticks and I think they can jump or activate others. So if they are not playing you directly they can or will use another unawakened or unknowing soul to trigger you.

So with my family, I mean we already been through what I hope is the worst of this. Of course there is like life stuff but 2016 was WTF like a curse on 3 generations. And for some reason I feel like it was my fault but I don’t know why.

So I have been trying to heal myself through modern medicine, raw diet, science based research and data, intuition, healing arts as well as good old fashion prayer. But I’m never sure if I’m doing the right thing or who to trust and all I have is my intuition to go on with the information that I come across.

But I also feel an obligation to my family. It’s like a rock and a hard place. If I leave will they be better? Am I being selfish? But I want to be there for them but mainly I wanted to just enjoy being with my family no obligations.

Either way we have a problem.

How can we heal ourselves while still being compassionate and accountable to those we love?

How the Universe Works

Well at least this universe.

So when you go to the beach and a swim and then hang out in the sun this is what’s happening on the highest level I guess.

This is why a nice HOT salt bath are encouraged during a possession as well. I believe baking soda can work as well not 100% sure.

I’m a nerd told you I like the science behind the “myth” or practice.

I heard this tid bit from a show my dad was watching called “how the universe works”.

PS. You have to be SUPER hydrated when you take salt baths alkaline foods or electrolytes I would assume cause you will get super dizzy.

alkaline: lemons, teas, anything green.

Electrolytes: nuts, bananas, oats, sport drinks.

Just to be safe.

I was always told 3 days in a row but it never seemed enough.

🙏🏼

I was reminded of this Celtic knot symbol as I was closing my “channels” with my left finger thumb to pointer and right hand thumb to index legs crossed.

This moment I can here the different tones change with each finger except the pinky. Lol.

I also thought about how in this close loop if we have mastery of self then we have no need to have power over anyone else.

My assumption would be that we would naturally be working towards the same goal in some shape or form.

I however have not. Not enough to keep the reptilians away. But I guess it’s a process.

🙏🏼

Soul Star Chakra 🌟: Archon Halo ☁ 👼 ☁

So…………. The Archon’s portal energy balls I see on peoples heads and including my own look like halos you see in paintings. Straight up, no bullshit….. They are not glowing but they can invert from dark in the middle to light/clear on the outside or vice versa considering the lighting situation inside.

Last year my “twin flame” therapist told me about the “soul star chakra” which is also known as the “halo chakra”.

Simple stated in the link above “Your 8th Chakra known as the Soul Star Chakra is located about 12 inches to 3 feet from the top of your head (just above your Crown Chakra). Your Soul Star Chakra contains infinite energy, spirituality, Divine Wisdom and compassion. Also known as the Halo Chakra it’s what you see depicted in the historic paintings of Jesus Christ, the Saints and other Divine Masters. This chakra is the essential bridge between your Higher Self/Soul Self in the higher dimensions of reality and your incarnated human self (your personality and physical expression of your soul in third dimensional reality).

As your Soul Star Chakra becomes activated and expands you’ll begin to feel a strong need to align yourself with your Soul’s Mission to finally BE what you know on deeper levels you’re here to BE.”

Only I magically got the opposite! Why I gotta get the Satan halo? Is it suppose to be painful? This painful? 

Many people are saying that yes the body has natural chakras … And 3rd eye and all this good stuff but for some reason these natural systems are being manipulated and information is being falsafied so they can take advantage of us. 

There is an overlay. And its so painful. Like why doesn’t anyone tell you hey as some point you gonna get a half and shit it painful cause inter dimensional entities will prolly suck up you brain juices. I need a manual for this shit.