So part of me wants to be a moon loving, sun soakin, crystal wearing, incense burning, horoscope reading, nature hippy dippy weirdo.
And then the other part of me wants to be a devoted Christian so that God loves me back. Because apparently burning sage and doing yoga conflicts with faith.
I try not to let the internet and the vast interpretation of religion and bible get to me.
But someone said God looks after his children. And while I know on the material plane I have been fortune to make it to 35 years. But on the spiritual plane I have not been so fortunate.
I can’t say it was because of this or that. But I can’t seem to wrap my head around why I am being attacked. Some say kundalini, some said I’m a budding light worker, a twin flame or one of the 144k that the Bible speaks of and NONE of that has helped me nor seems to apply to why I am being attacked on the “spiritual plane” to the point I must fear for my life.
And it’s not really the “spiritual plane” if others can see them in a photo or if my body is being physically attacked to the point I must go to the emergency.
The post on Facebook says God takes care of his children. And I just wonder why I am left to be raped in every sense of the word by demons?
I guess I am not “blessed and highly favored” or one of God children or the elect “chosen ones” people keep trying to fill my head with.
This doesn’t make me a piece of shit.
I’m just not that. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna go run and pray to some goat God. But all I see is crazy shit. I feel of sound mind and body. But I just hear and feel and see the craziest shit. And THAT’S as if living in THIS world wasn’t crazy enough. We gotta add a layer of hell with reptilian whatever raping me over it.
I don’t know what to do anymore.