Flashing Lights: The Light (pt 2) 💡

Matthew 6:22

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”


This passage popped up on my Facebook by my moms friend today (I love GENTLE synchronicities), that is how I learn grow. Gentle, slow but I like to go deeeeeeeeep. I want to know why we use the words we use I don’t want to be misinformed as there are enough misunderstandings and enough people trying to manipulate it (***cough**jeff sessions**cough***).

So yea I have light somewhere connect to me COVERED in darkness, dimmed by …… evil? Demons? Aliens? Whatever it is ….. it is painful in every way possible. Heavy.

I’ve seen white light but I’ve seen the blackest black light. Blacker than my eyes closed. If that makes any sense.

So I guess I am unhealthy, I just don’t know why. I assumed it’s a curse. Cause it came out of no where 2-3 years ago. You don’t just wake up from one year to the next and start thinking these things out of no where.

Either way I’m, I wish I knew but every answer doesn’t suffice. It doesn’t answer the years of suffering, not just for me but others suffering spiritually as well. So I always wonder.

The light, yes we have light. I haven’t seen my own but I have seen some and had confirmation. I guess I will just try to make sense of all of this on my own.


Flashing Lights 🌟

You know how people always say “look with in……” , “look inside yourself”.

HOW? Hmmmm?

How would one jump outside themselves and look at themselves unless it was imagination?


So only concrete way I was able to know I’m a freakin light bulb is that at certain times the Entities would either 1. Attack if I look directly at them 2. Put on sunglasses 😎 (yes apparently they have Oakley’s in the astral realm) 3. Turn around.

When I looked at one (looked like a evil teddy bear) it ran away and smeared this goo around me I assumed that it was in my aura.

So the only way I could figure I am light or have light or LIGHT is involved in some way is how the Entities reacted a handful of times.

This has also happened when I would genuinely cry, which is a lot. Does crying clear the goo or film that they put around me?

Today I was sleeping and I woke up and I saw a Casper looking ghost 👻 Entity (I think it’s a costume just like the sunglasses) and when I open my eyes the ghost immediately put on sunglasses. And a few other Entities got angry and was trying to scare me but my nerve are SHOT + no fear= no 💩💩 to give. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Someone told me not to trust any Entities that don’t show their eyes. Especially if “my light” has to be dimmed to accommodate.

SO bla bla bla we are light made of light something to that extent, now what? I’m not sure why so many hang around me if they are afraid of light or what they keep covering me with or why they then cover my body in 🌺 flowers, that I keep trying to have removed but they just put everything back up ……….. but I’m OVER IT!

And again no one will help me figure this out. Occultist will say “do the research, do the work!” So steer from being asked any direct questions and “LightWorkers” will say “look with in ……” and I’m over here surrounded by like at least 100+ major entity, 5 giants outside and wondering WTF is going on cause I don’t have time!! Something other than white light imagination and salt baths!

I need to learn how to protect myself or deal with this in a concrete way because I’m literally in a war zone right now. NYC is covered in them, and apparently I can’t walk down the street with out being attacked.

My assumption is the only reason I can see these networks or matrix MADE UP of Entities is because I’m connected to it by an Entity attached to me, so I just need to figure out how not to be anymore.

I’m just tired of this life right now. I’m bored, alone, bored, brooooooke!, and in poor health. So dude!😭

Cuss Words 🙊

So I like cussin’ I’m not going to lie about that. I will drop an F-Bomb whenever I have been trying to be a tiny bit more conscious of my tongue.

I don’t think I have EVER used the lords name in vain other than OMG and MAYBE Jesus Christ but believe me I meant it.

All day I hear a demonic version of my Ex’s voice screaming “fuck yooooooou!!” “go home!” Bitch cunt fat faggot ugly slut whore “god Dammit!” Over and over and over again.

I’m tired of being cussed out all day.

And I like cussing!

I mean the cussing is the least of worry to the disgusting thoughts, visions and dreams they put in my head. But I’m tired. I’m so tired. I keep deluding myself their maybe an end but I don’t want to think about child molestation any more or wake up being raped by astral monsters, or being afraid of being close conversationally with my family with out it turning into some incest bullshit while I’m trying to talk. I’m so tired.

They keep trying to lull me into believing things are getting better but it’s just the same…… but different.

I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. Like how long before these pills work? How long before the “new earth”, or the lesson is over or God hears my prayer.

I’m tired.


Control 😱

My sister had THE NERVE to say I am controlling. I suggested that we meal prep together on a low carb diet because I’m pre-diabetic now and she has diabetes and I wanted to get that in check and she said “well you’re controlling” 😱

I told her where you see controlling I see trying to be efficient and effective.

I had to work hard on stepping back and “giving up control” and surrendering and ALL THAT MESS which I did and 100lb later I’m still possessed and none the wiser other than evil exists and is NOT just in movies.

A simple conversation would had sufficed.

So, I told her it’s not just supporting her I need support too and it just makes sense for two people to eat off of groceries than one the way things are packaged and how much space we have in the fridge.

I gave up control so much especially with my sister because I was on her time not my own. Anything I suggested was not seen as an act of care but I guess trying to be controlling for controlling sake.

I need the support too. I told my sister if she gave one summer I could lower our A1c levels and she wouldn’t have to worry about meds. But I guess I have to step back. She is an Aries so get it Aries gotta figure it out what works best for them……. and she has worked on diet and being “healthier”. But it’s like pop culture healthy not digging deep and cleansing healthy. It’s like Vitamin Water to Spring Water.

So she gets big ups for that it’s still a move in the direction.

But me? Controlling?

Failure. 😞

There is a piece missing here that I don’t understand.

I’m normally pretty good at figuring things out empathetically or logically. But this situation with these Entities has me stumped.

I feel like a failure because I didn’t know enough to not just attacking me but my family……. my twin sister.

All I can do is check on symptoms.

I read that empathy can take on symptoms of attackers. But my family got attacked too and it actually hurt them because of poor health and disabilities.

So now I don’t know what to do.

I’m not sure what to do while being patient for these attacks to stop. One moment I feel ok to get my life together and by the night fall when then they all start to attack me I am reminded of just how physically heavy these Entities are and the times I could barely walk a block. The woman that walks the length of Manhattan just magically can barely walk to the store because of Entities.

I see their matrix building more refined in my whole house. The matrix is a bunch of lines in which they can travel and project themselves on, one would say a curse. It’s dense lines of etheric glow when an Entity wants to appear to spook me. I’m not shook. I have one main goal. And for my family and I to healthy, happy and safe.

I feel like failed because there is all this esoteric knowledge where I know people that are able to remove these things. But my situation seems to be the exception and I’m finding the limits to google searching.

So I’m not sure if I’m going through this just to suffer and die. To learn and help. To what but my heart will always be discerning of information and sadly now more so than ever people.

The Entity said “you heal no one” , “you couldn’t even save your sister”. I barely knew what was happening with me the only reason I knew they attacked my sister is because I had her symptoms. Fasting didn’t help as a declaration to God as my commitment to my sisters recovery during my own (“schizophrenia”).

But I’m not sure if I didn’t pray enough, know enough, meditate enough, fast long enough…… nothing I do seems to be enough.

And all I hear is “you loose” because I told my ex, “you win” because I thought I fell in love with him. He got me, got under my skin. Something I don’t let people do. Now, “you loose!” Is Entities reminding me to commit suicide, end it, that I lost a game I didn’t know I was playing.

Pain is a Hypnotic state 😶

Anything to an extreme, for manipulation can be a hypnotic state where the individual is easily controlled.

So pain. I guess for some this is a DUH, but for my nieve ass I don’t think like that. To control. I am more interested in collaboration.

So when the Demonic Entities want to control me they UP THE PAIN FACTOR this will usually be in my head. My body and skin will become tight and warm as if we’re inflamed.

I will be so focused on the pain, that I become “second in line” to my own mind. The pain increases and I stare off into space and I hear one of the Entities suggesting some insanely absurd gross thought and at that moment I do not question it until I snap out of it because I’m focused on ……………….. THE PAIN.

This makes them feel powerful even though they are cowards and scum of the universe.

Once you are in this hypnotic state of pain focus deeply on the pain you become easily “suggestable”. That’s why you need to be careful what you allow people to treat during sex and certain points in your life. Being easily suggested is a step before brain washed.

So you are crying or sobbing miserable with pain and the Entity comes in and starts planting seeds and thoughts “you’re ugly when you cry” will turn into “you’re ugly”. These will be triggers to layer the pain and keep you sooo deep far down in the quick sand of pain and misery it will be difficult to see a way out unless you observe their bullshit and your own bullshit as well.

So …….. I see how they used pain against me literally pulling wool over my eyes and into a hypnotic state so I will believe their negative.

No positive or negative in this situation only ignorance.

These demons can kick rocks!


Tonight: Black Lights Dots in my Skull 💀

A square of black dots maybe 100 went into my skull.

I’m not sure what it is or why it hurt like all etheric things that keep going into my fucking skull but…… so yea…..

Then the demonic entity yells “do you know how blessed you are?” As it hurts me more. It’s makes me hate the word blessed and every one is going around talking about how blessed they feel and blessings it’s a trendy word and I’m triggered AF cause this demon has made “god bless” a curse some how.

I don’t know what’s going on anymore.

Below is a drawing of ONE of many of my attackers. My guess reptilian, I believe the others are Archons or their children and are easier to put in or around people.

Either way fuck this shit!

I can’t make this shit up. And if I did it definitely wouldn’t be through ruining my life.

Old School Superstitions

My grandmother was old school.

We are currently cruxed between trying to salvage old ways that worked for good reasons and new ways that will work for the betterment of ALL!

Anyway, I remember as a a child my grandmother told me not to whistle in the house (or whistle period) or open umbrellas in the house. Little things like that.

I thought the whistle thing was because it’s unladylike but actually with observation demons whistle a lot. They also talk off the sounds of birds chirping.

Now I KNOW people are going say not all are evil but all are deceitful, and trick their companions in one way or another. But after what I have been through I can’t afford to sit here and play games.

What I write happens and I document it for my on mental health and to help others maybe. But I am not seeking any of this.

I seek truth peace love God Jesus.

Instead I am bombarded with pain lie hate and some version of Satan and a million minions.

There are something to our old ways not to be feared but to be looked at and compared.

Casper Ghost 👻

So I was shown a vision of like a stick or hot dog chocking a baby ghost with rainbow cords and I was going to say something and then I was like…….. you know what this is too weird for me to even comment on.

Then “the thought” was trying to convince me it was killing it and I was like yea right energy can’t die it can only be changed transmuted or transferred……and then BOOM a bunch of wavy lines like the rainbow cords and my “like went out” like when you get shocked by an electrical socket. Then my head cooled down got like icy cool. And I took a few photos. Just documenting for later.

The lights out scared me because I just wonder what it does to the brain.

update: 10:30 am – there was relief on my head but and a cool sensation. But now the pain cam back cool sensation is still there my guess it’s just another demon connecting to me.

Get Me Body 🏃🏽‍♀️

One of the new “curses” that I identified is one where I feel uncomfortable inside my own body and doing the things.

So I use to do gardening and art gym all that jazz. And when I realized I couldn’t participate I picked up writing, helping others over the Internet, watching a lot of Netflix (which was a first), but the Demons started making pass out again when I would try to engage in these new activities and then when I would try to go to sleep jolt and wake me up. Then I would sit there feeling super uncomfortable in my body and not know how to feel or what to do with myself.

When I would notice this feeling it would ease up a bit but didn’t stop it from happening over and over again. I let a lot of shit slide in my awareness just to get through the day, but most is painful, pointlessly painful.

That is all I’m being made tired now again.