I don’t even know how to loose it!
But I’m gonna loose it!
I can’t deal with the pain and looping thoughts. I can feel the Entities sending shock waves of thought through my body and mind. The same images.
Why is there no cure? I’ve done the work I know who I am!!!! Aside from developing a super power to actually get rid of these things I don’t know what to do.
I don’t have any money to spend on shamans. I can barely sleep….. but since I don’t have anything else to do but lay down I feel like I’m always sleeping.
Hoping sleep will wash it away…..heal. Maybe the pain will go away.
Today I cried and then I could see the Entities more clearly than usual.
I feel like I will never be totally clear cause it’s like my whole house is cursed. They are everywhere in my house. Bathroom living room my room. Like the whole place is covered in it.
And I am just constantly being attacked. And it becomes this cyclical thing because I’m am attacked I lack energy to go outside so on and so forth. Or they follow me outside. And then there is always worrying about my family.
I’ve seen 3 to 4 sets enter my house as a white mist. And then set up as a string of Entities.
When I resist the subject would become more and more grotesque. And I become more and more weak from their attacked.
I am grateful for food and a roof over my head and family.
But does that mean that I can’t want the better for me?
Honestly I don’t have a choice in the foods that are available. My family only eats frozen peas corn green beans and spinach. And the eat meat at every meal. I am naturally vegetarian and found it was the best diet for me because of PCOS (hormonal imbalance). Even when I tried to stop eating meals with my family my mom would cook these delicious meals and then be upset sayin “no one wants to eat together” so I felt bad and I wanted to be grateful for my mothers cooking only between this demon keeping me locked up and my mothers cooking I just gained so much weight.
I have no idea how to turn my life around anymore. First I fought like hell to fight this demon off going to shamans and shit spending my last dime. And now since none of that worked I figured I would just focus at least on loosing weight…. but the cut my food stamps…. and I would also have stay active which the migraines the demon gives me is out of control it’s like being choked.
So I don’t what to do anymore.
I don’t know how to feel better.
I am grateful. I know this could be worse but it’s also really really sucks. And I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to sit here chasing Benefits (since I got denied for snap and disability ect).
How am I suppose to know God’s plan for me? I just feel like a demons play toy.
How these Demonic Entities get you to agree to Soul Contracts is pretty easy. One they are completely psychotic so it really doesn’t matter.
They ask you a question.
Or then listen in on your deepest fears or wants.
Don’t you want to get your ex back?
(As an example, I didn’t and don’t)
And then they say you are doing XY. AND Z get them back. You are enduring the test of time you are enduring their torture for some goal. And it’s not true.
The link between you and that person or that goal was a “familiar spirit” or an entity pretending it can do anything for you.
They don’t understand moral or no or healing. They involve themselves in human affairs where they should not, only to give themselves power and or purpose.
One way these entities have gotten me to “agree” to things is in my sleep. In that moment were dreams are made they asked a question and make it seem as if I am answering.
They twist the mind. They twist are words and actions to make it seem like this is what we want and this is the only way to get it. It’s not and it won’t and you will be disappointed and they will live off of that disappointment that bad feeling.
False hope. Then they will say “next life time” or some bullshit like that. Because they don’t know how to let go.
Since they are psychotic and don’t understand morals or no and have their own agenda in which I have to understand everything else is a cover…….. play to distract you from their actually being their.
They rape me in my dreams or between sleep this asshole had the nerve to suggest I don’t sleep because then otherwise it seems like that’s what I want. I tell them no all the time wake up angry, I sleep because I don’t want to be irritable or to hallucinate more. But they are always looking for a loophole.
They are like Rumplestilslin , playing on riddles, and games, and contracts only to get what they want.
I told them if they want a contract with me I will need it in physical writing sent to my house with my signature on it other wise all is null and void. No verbal agreements made in my sleep. No playing off my beliefs and wants or fears as some test because in the end it’s not about me it’s about them and what their true desires are in meddling in human minds and affairs.
NULL AND VOID.
This is where many Twin Flames get stuck. They don’t realize to move on with their life and believe their life is dedicated to some other person (that they are usually not with) and they must learn to live in unconditional love with out them while the other continues on with life.
I use twin flame for language. I used it for healing and understanding. But if I truly believed what this Entity was telling me I would be dead. They said I needed “a new vessel” (because my twin flame didn’t like the way I look) “and was human sacrifice” and that I would be “reunited in the next life” with my ex. I did what any person of sound mind and was like “uh NO!” If my ex doesn’t like my vessel then that’s not unconditional love or love at all. That’s the opposite of love.
Getting stuck in these Soul Ties and Soul Contracts are not just words. They are also deep beliefs that are being programmed. So if you think that you need to suffer for an ex or a family member then these demons will stay around waiting to be fed.
NULL AND VOID!
“I’m never coming back!”
“I never want to see you again!”
“There’s no room for you here!”
Ect, ect, ect……..
So this Demon Entity is always yelling about its going to leave me ….. “just wait for happy birthday!”. Always saying it will leave around my birthday. Or some holiday.
So I’m have a sense of false hope, so those dreams will be crushed. Maybe there is an a sliver of hope that it will leave around these holidays, or when it says it will, or when I went to healers. But it’s all a really terrible play with really really bad acting and a shitty /insane story line.
But I’m pretty set on wanting these demon to leave never being able to contact anyone in anyway ever again. All of them! Disgusting!
I’m trying to keep hope, faith….. those things that things will get better. But I don’t know if I am just tricking myself into a lie.
Must I become an addict to see the Jesus play? Worship Satan to have a good life? This shit sucks balls! Hairy balls, stinky balls, lop sided balls……. just sucks!
I’m stuck here just listening to things I DONT EVEN WANT TO REPEAT!!!! That’s how bad it is! It’s not just a worry or a “negative thought” like some chicks shirt is ugly……. this is like the most vile things I couldn’t even image and don’t want to!!!!
I have to find language to describe it with out repeating the exact vile thought word for word. There is no “just let the thoughts roll by” with this it makes me physically ill, it hurts it’s gross. And even if I try to stay strong for a long period of time I eventually break down cause I can’t hold all that disgusting thoughts in! I scream out for God! To take it away…….. and here it remains. It gets to live….. it gets to play…. dirty….. it rapes me ….. it violates me it tries to scare me it beats on my chest it loops the same thoughts over and over it shows me shit I don’t want repeat. It puppets my face and tries to make me micro express (energetic smile) happiness at the most vile events in the world…. it’s sick. GOD WHY IS IT ALIVE WHY IS IT HERE GOD!!!!!? WHY DOES IT EVEN EXIST?!!!!!!???
Please God kill it!!!!
In the beginning (which was 2+ years ago) the the Demon told me that my ex had a son and a wife and lived in New Jersey. At the time none of this was true.
This only furthered my paranoia of thinking my ex was using me just for sex.
Currently he’s about to have a son I’m sure they are going to marry but they don’t live in jersey yet.
Why is it necessary for ME to know this and how does the Demon know his future?
Demon said I will die of cancer. Or that my ex was going to shoot me. None of that is true. So ………. why this? How?
I don’t even care.
I care about my life which being ruined by this demon.
They are attacking me for false reasons. Lies. It’s hurts so much!