Keeping it Lite 💡

I’m having a difficult time with being between the fact that the demons have ruined my life in unimaginable ways (described in this blog), caused my sister to have a stroke, my mom to have a stroke and heart attack……… AND trying to be normal fun loving me, AND having to be a warrior and take these demons on.

They never shut up……. they are always doing black magic….. I have no defense against them other than the fact I can see them, an iPhone camera and a keen sense of self, but that doesn’t stop them.

I don’t “play” with them as much as they play with me mostly as I wake up and then throughout the day.

If I knew how to make this stop I would.

I can’t think with out them inserting themselves…….


I am so FUCKED 😥

I have no idea what to do right now.

I am seeing the same demon that was on me, on my sister that I know caused her stroke before it got to me……… so ONE thing IS confirmed is these demons can jump from one person to the other. That’s double confirmed for me.

When I actually try to address my schizophrenia or migraines medication this demon jumped to my twin sister who has health issues because she was a premie.

So when I try to “raise my stupid fucking miserable vibes” and try to elevate they literally attach to my sister or stay by her bed sipping on her human juices or whatever it they do to either of us. And that doesn’t mean I’m left alone. That just means I’m left alone by the one that feels like death. The others ones still go in and out and switch off on my body and use parasitic toys and tools to mess with my body.

So this is a fucked up situation. Raising vibration and energy and all that stuff is not what people think it is. Like you can literally get your shit ripped open matter how good your day way or if you’re eating organic or gmo. If that Demonic alien wants to fuck your ass up that’s what’s gonna happen. There are no mantras or binaural beats, or amount of positive thinking that will make it go away.

That is a cognitive, conscious decision that, that being must make on it’s on. I can’t change these beings. Even if it seems like it in one area it’s a lie in another. I don’t have super powers. I will not disillusion myself and say I have any. I can see them like any regular degular ass human can see a ghost, or shadow people, or sparkles or flashes or all the other crazy stuff. I just studies the photos for a while. STUDIED. Which is not super powers.

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!! Other than like tell my family to like move to the middle of the desert or something. And even then!!!!! These things travel!!! So like I’m going to be stalked all my like by a fucking praying mantis, aliens, a reptilians, an army of gecko, trolls and demons? Like What the actual fuck?

You know they got cars? I don’t even got a car…… freaking crazy.

I don’t know what to do! I did what I was suppose do. Try to get better! Medically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically all that stuff, I took their pills to get better, I did the salt baths, whatever and now boom if I try to do good for myself this piece of shit pedophile Demonic alien ass face is going to then go harass my sister.

Now that my sister is involved. And they outwardly threatened my sister for the first time and I put all the pieces together and got confirmation…. I’m not sure what to do anymore.

It’s bleak. Committing suicide doesn’t ensure my sister’s safety if all they wanted was me dead. It doesn’t ensure that I won’t hear their nasty asses anymore. Leaving I’m not sure if it will ensure either of our safety. I’m not sure if it’s just me or if I am picking things up from other people as I become more open. And I’m not sure if becoming more open is a good or a bad thing. But I know it weakened me. I now realize I was taken medication and I thought it worked but it wasn’t…. and they were just acting.

So what actually works?

They are psychos. They feel justified in their actions.

Spiritual Suffering 😥

Shared with me from a fb forum on spiritual suffering:

Try and read it a few times.

Suffering Teaching

Hebrew word for suffer is “yagah”: grieve/AFFLICTED/torment

Greek word for suffer is “pascho” from word “penthos” which means sorrow/mourning/grief

Afflicted in Hebrew is “Ani” which means oppressed

Afflicted in Greek is “kakopatheia” which means suffering(experience of evil)/PERSEVERANCE

Kakopatheia: to experience affliction that seems bad (miserable) from an earthly perspective but in actuality is sent by God to accomplish His greater (eternal) purpose!! ❤❤❤


Luke 24:46

“Thus it is written, and thus it was necessary for the Christ to SUFFER and to rise from the dead on the third day”

Romans 8:15

“And if children, then heirs-heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we SUFFER with Him, that we may also be glorified together”

Suffering with Christ, for Christ. ❤

Philippians 1:29

“For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to SUFFER for His sake”

No one wants to truley suffer, but suffering for Christ and His Gospel is different.

Many in early church viewed martydom as a high calling and spiritual gift through which God would be made known.

Martyr: a person who is killed or suffers greatly for a religion

1 Peter 2:20

“For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and SUFFER, if you take it patiently this is commendable before God”

Christ is the perfect example for everything in life-including the reality of “SUFFERING” and the Christian “response” to it. He endured and did not retaliate verbally, but did what was right!!!

1 Peter 2:21

“For to this you were called, because Christ also SUFFERED for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps”

Suffering wrongfully is commendable in God’s eyes.

1 Peter 3:17

“For it is better, if it is the will of God, to SUFFER for doing good than doing evil”

1 Peter 4:15

“But let none of you SUFFER as a murderer, a theif, an evil doer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters”



1 Peter 3:14

“But even if you should SUFFER for righteousness’ sake, you are BLESSED”

1 Peter 4:1

“Therefore, since Christ SUFFERED for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin”

If God’s people live according to His Word, they will not suffer as evil-doers but for their good conduct.

Because Jesus suffered for us and is sovereign, Christians should approach SUFFERING with “the same mind” (attitude/perspective) that He had-enduring it willingly and looking beyond the SUFFERING to God’s purpose.

God’s people will never “cease from sin” in this life, but SUFFERING for the sake of Christ has purifying effects and can increasingly free believers from sins power so that they may “live… for the will of God” rather than their own priorities.

Suffering should be expected for those who follow Christ. ❤❤❤

No matter what reason for suffering, God does use it-sometimes as discipline as it is written in Hebrews 12:5-11.

Here is a list of a few of God’s purposes of why He allows suffering

1. To train us in obedience (Hebrews 5:7-8

2. To produce patience (Romans 5:3)

3. To prevent pride (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)

4. To teach His ways (Psalms 119:65-75)

5. To prepare us to comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

6. To prove us

1 Peter 5:10

“But may the God of all grave, who called us to His eternal by Christ Jesus, after you have SUFFERED a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you”

Peter concluded by reminding readers that their sufferings are temporary and will serve to “perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle” them.

There is no shortcut to character, no detour around difficulty.

Hebrews 12:5-11

“And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as sons: ‘My son, do not despise the CHASTENING of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the LORD loves He CHASTENS, and scourges every son whom He receives’. If you endure CHASTENING, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not CHASTEN? But if you are without CHASTENING, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days CHASTENED us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no CHASTENING sems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been TRAINED by it”

As one “endures” we should consider Christ (the Christians hope and greatest example of one who willingly obeyed God during suffering)

A lack of suffering is not a sign of favor but of illegitimacy. God, Our Father, does not allow His children to go about their business unchanged. Like a good parent, He disciplines His sons and daughters because He loves them deeply.

Training, discipline, and corrections are painful, but not permanent. God’s CHASTENING is the only sure way to obtain the peaceable fruit of righteousness.


Hebrew word: “yasar”: to discipline/correct

Greek word: “paideuo”: discipline/EDUCATE/train

“Paideuo” from word “pais” which means (a child under development with strict training)







Thus says the Lord!!!

His Divine plan. His perfect plan!!

As I suffer I am blessed with the fruits of His Spirit.

I am honored to suffer knowing that I’m now obedient to my Lord God Almighty.

Thank you!!!


Into words …. 📝 Sunken Place

I’m rarely the type that doesn’t know how I feel or why or have something to say about it.

My friend wants me to be a twin flame and says I am and I don’t think I am a twin flame or a light worker or a 144k (from the Bible) or any of that. I don’t feel awakened or enlightened. I’m just a partially possessed woman who is pissed off she experienced this.

So thinking about being “post” all these spiritual labels that seem to take the focus off of God I started to cry I couldn’t but I’m trying to find the words of how I felt. Embarrassed and sad, longing knowing none of the super powers will “awaken” my “twin flame” will never come back all the stories that got WAY the fuck out of control and the Entities took advantage of my naivety I just feel embarrassed and sad.

So while some of this was harmless at first it’s not helping now. The only thing that brings me some hope and joy is that the heavens (astral/ethers) will be destroyed and created a new as it says in revelations. It has to be true…. this has gone on for too long. And as much as I just wanted to enjoy life through Gods love, if God is not pleased with me I have no choice. I have begged for forgiveness, all I can do is hope it gets better for others.

It was such a strange cry, I’m sure these demons are drinking my tears as a mid night snack. I tried not to cry today….. but it happened. I know my mistakes….. this is the first time I haven’t been able to move forward to correct them.

So I’m just stuck…… in this sunken place with these Entities. And I just don’t know what to do in the time I wait. I feel like crap mostly so my attention is on that.

I don’t know if God is an ACTUAL entity like these fools. Ya know? Like I don’t know. I know humans give God such human attributes. And I can’t say I KNOW. But do I have to to give thanks?

So no BOOM super powers for enduring this pain….. that is an illusion, no twin flame return cause it’s bs ….. no enlightenment although I have a bunch of info I could have done with out. All is a distraction from God and my happiness. But I don’t know how to get back.


False Light: Marked


I read revelations for the first time and unfortunately it made sense to me in a different way. Even though the Entity kept trying to say I was the slithering whore the whole time (one reason why is difficult to read the Bible) 🙄. And then there is so much imagery that that also gets difficult.

I mean as I have been opened to the a reality of astral/ and Demi urges or whatever you want to call it 4D or demons/ fallen angels/ false gods ….. much of the war seems to be in the “heavens” but of course we are affected. We are apart of it as well.

I never new evil was SO real. Like I thought there was like bad and evil people like Hitler or something. But it’s so much deeper what takes over humans. I thought monsters were just of the imagination.

But revelations says there will be a new heaven and that makes me happy. I told these demons all their toys were going to be taken away.

It also talks about men having the mark of the beast on their forehead and I know for a FACT these beings are always on my forehead (I have photos). So I guess I’m marked which kinda makes me sad, cause I know I messed up but I didn’t think it was that bad. They are on my forehead and in my eyes and on my hands and in my heart and tummy and genitals and they wiggle my toes…. they are in my home on my walls …. under my bed…. in my bathtub…….. I saw the white mist enter my home and I had hoped it was help…. my prayers answered…. but it was just more astrals setting up my house.

I don’t know anything….. I’m just describing what I’m going through.

But it was deep. The Entity voice is always bringing up my mistakes and asking me if I what I think about this or that. Then asks me about child abusers….. and my answer is always no. And I know I’m not suppose to judge it’s not for me to but if you ask me it’s a no. It’s fucked up and ruins lives.

Either way I hate this. All of it. I try to “stay positive” and be like aww look at the cute little demons and not judge them on how they look but how they treat me ………. but I hate it ….. all of it always.

And I’m not use to worshipping God from a place of fear but of thanks. Fear of going to hell or being sucked up in this Demonic matrix. But of thanks…… so I’m just trying to stay true to me and what feels right to me…. which that doesn’t.

I guess it was deep for me.

What I see: False Matrix 💩

It’s like the difference between the sun and electricity. The wind and fan.

Over the last year through observation and photos and trying not to loose my actual shit I have seen what I would consider a false matrix.

It took some time to realize this but it is what it is. I’m in it I’m connected to it. It’s everywhere.

I’ve tried my hardest and I’ve tried nothing at all to make it go away. But if anything it’s grown more dense.

It can be light or dark or a color or clear. But I see a network of entities that take turns on my body. Suggesting the nastiest thoughts and then causing a sensation in my body. Even if I don’t respond.

They play on any belief or story line to upset you. Christian, you going to hell. Twin flame? Vow celibacy and never have a relationship so you can meet them “next life”. Dig a goddess? Yep that was your past life and you are a slave. Aliens? Yep you’ve been earth abducted. Want power? You will be a magician or light worker and I can use them. Trying to obtain enlightenment? Try harder almost there almost try harder meditate MORE.

These astral entities will play off any fear or belief creating duality for their storylines. “CONTRAST” the Entity yelled at me it wanted contrast for its story.

I have seen enough. I see them all over and in my body, my house, on buildings, in my phone, like literally a 2D overlay on my screen or camera (just look in my media section). They can switch up their look but generally stay the same. Some literally wear masks to look different. Some look like shadows others look like 2D drawings of Entities (centipedes, mantis, aliens, trolls, teddy bears, some semi human face) that are in constant movement. I can sit here all day and tell you what I saw and how it works …… but really it’s about how they made me feel. Be it their false sickness (in my tummy), or a false sense of love, or like I’m a monster (did something terrible that I never did) or forced orgasms (rape), or bliss like I’m a cat on XTC or complete anxiety like doomsday is coming….. I have felt all of their falseness and false feelings as they have attempted to mind control me. To this day they have attempted every moment of everyday to bait me in with something and I’m done.

I have made a personal decision to not photograph them as much as I was before. Like I have probably thousands of photos trying to capture a bit of what I see. I have enough people confirm I’m not crazy it’s really there. I’m not medical schiz unless the pills kill them but in my brain and eyes. So I need to chill on that.

I see how their connected and communicate. They can literally write words so semi intelligent. They can move or attach, speak. They create dreams with light and illusions. So they may look like an alien in the astral but in your dreams with some light and imagination (and reference) will be your ex lover or a monster. Yes they make dreams! These are dream makers that took it too far. Wonder why dreams are weird and crazy usually………. because most of them are psychopaths. I say this with compassion. It’s not an exaggeration. Their countless lies and torture ….. it would actually be an understatement…… at least a psychopath might take a fucking break.

So at this point all I have is my faith in God the true God and not these little minions out here trying to play God on the astral plane.

I want this to stop. I want detach from this false matrix if I can’t destroy it and all their little toys, tricks and games. But maybe it’s not mine to destroy.

I’m sickened and saddened by this experience. I thought life was so much more than this. Or simpler.

I just want out!!!

“I’m leaving!” 🙄

“I’m leaving!”

“I’m never coming back!”

“I never want to see you again!”

“Go home!”

“There’s no room for you here!”

Ect, ect, ect……..

So this Demon Entity is always yelling about its going to leave me ….. “just wait for happy birthday!”. Always saying it will leave around my birthday. Or some holiday.

So I’m have a sense of false hope, so those dreams will be crushed. Maybe there is an a sliver of hope that it will leave around these holidays, or when it says it will, or when I went to healers. But it’s all a really terrible play with really really bad acting and a shitty /insane story line.

But I’m pretty set on wanting these demon to leave never being able to contact anyone in anyway ever again. All of them! Disgusting!

I’m trying to keep hope, faith….. those things that things will get better. But I don’t know if I am just tricking myself into a lie.

Must I become an addict to see the Jesus play? Worship Satan to have a good life? This shit sucks balls! Hairy balls, stinky balls, lop sided balls……. just sucks!

I’m stuck here just listening to things I DONT EVEN WANT TO REPEAT!!!! That’s how bad it is! It’s not just a worry or a “negative thought” like some chicks shirt is ugly……. this is like the most vile things I couldn’t even image and don’t want to!!!!

I have to find language to describe it with out repeating the exact vile thought word for word. There is no “just let the thoughts roll by” with this it makes me physically ill, it hurts it’s gross. And even if I try to stay strong for a long period of time I eventually break down cause I can’t hold all that disgusting thoughts in! I scream out for God! To take it away…….. and here it remains. It gets to live….. it gets to play…. dirty….. it rapes me ….. it violates me it tries to scare me it beats on my chest it loops the same thoughts over and over it shows me shit I don’t want repeat. It puppets my face and tries to make me micro express (energetic smile) happiness at the most vile events in the world…. it’s sick. GOD WHY IS IT ALIVE WHY IS IT HERE GOD!!!!!? WHY DOES IT EVEN EXIST?!!!!!!???

Kill it!!!!

Please God kill it!!!!

How spirits/demons see? 😱

How do spirits, demons, beings see with out eyes?

Is it our eyes?

Do they see something completely different? Seeing is done telepathically consciousness imagination?

But still what would be the reference point?

How does a flower or a nose or a hand look like such when it comes to spirits?

Eyes see because of light waves and nerves that actually decode.

Just wondering.

The demon that won’t leave told me in the beginning “my eyes are your eyes” ………

Unfortunately I was tricked by these Entities into thinking this was a spiritual awakening…… it wasn’t I that woke up (I been woke) ……. but them.

What I SEE vs What I HEAR 👀👂🏼

I wonder ……

I see many entities, trolls, demons, aliens, reptilian, ducks (which is a new one), ghosts …. baby ghosts, skulls, banshees, mermaids, lions, geckos, praying mantis and the occasional huge centipede, dragons, cars, machines, LOTS of “flowers”/ attachment connectors. And this gizmo looking dude that rides around on a Lotus flower. All leaning the cartoon side.

Almost all of them have a straw that comes half way our their mouth. The flowers are ways to connect but I don’t know why.

I have seen a vision of a woman but when I concentrate on looking into the darkness of my eyes that “woman” turned into a Mantis that quickly removed itself from my view once I saw it.

Are all these “entities” what make up my imagination, visions (forced imagination), dreams. I can usually tell the difference between my own imagination or memory vs forced visions. Theirs are WAY brighter than mine. Like abnormally bright, and the theme is usually child abuse, sex, yup that’s pretty much the main ones.

So what I SEE and what I FEEL correlates. I have seen 30 Geckos shoot sparkles into my stomach no words (yes I know that’s fucking crazy) and then I had insatiable hunger, I see the clear fast jelly one that would make my body shake.

What I SEE and what I HEAR does not correlate. I’m threatened all day by this voice. There is 2 maybe 3 (2 males and an occasional female voice) I hear all kinds of sick shit about child abuse. The loud voice will talk about incest or rape with my father. Maybe forced visions of rape as I might wake up from hearing my dad leave for work.

Visions are like dreams with your eyes open. But they are not quiet the same as hallucinations. Hallucination (i.e. Blobs of energy, or a troll in my bathroom) I can walk around. Even if they are a bit 2D I can still walk around them meaning it’s in space not just my head.

So maybe visions and what I hear correlate. But what I SEE and hear does not. It’s like all of the 2D characters would have to be activated as players in a vision. But usually the mind will see human or maybe whatever this MAIN one wants me to see.

Only in my dreams has what I heard, felt and saw correlate and it was one of me being raped. And my butt actually hurt after.

What I HEAR and what I FEEL correlates. What I hear which is a main male voice that is loud (even when it whispers), that often mimics/parrots my ex (false twin flames) voice or “character”. This one seems like a ring leader and I guess is the one that’s in my head the most.

Often the main demon will try to make me feel like a pedophile if I see a child on TV. This will be a split second situation. Child on tv, I’m like “aw cute”, Entity will vibrate my vagina/root chakra.

If the Entity/demon/Voice feels extra mean today, it will say something disgusting or insinuating through a “forced vision” something disgusting. This happens all day. As much as I’ve locked myself in the house to avoid it. Children are in every commercial, my dad lives with me an Depending on the day I may or may not cry in bed because it’s disgusting and overwhelming.

So…………………. that’s MY life currently.

Any thought is distorted to whatever meaning the voice wants to give it.

So if I hear my father getting ready for work it’s automatically turned to disgusting vision of him. This has altered my relationship with my dad. Although I fake it and smile I don’t communicate with him as much as I use to for fear of seeing yet another gross vision or hearing another gross thought.

This then keeps me in a constant dialogue of defending the meaning of my thoughts. But at that point the damage is done. There is only so much “positive thinking” I can do to combat this and at this point I have to ignore it and know who I am as to not engage the VOICE anymore.

I’m unsure as the discrepancy between what I hear and see and feel. But my guess is that there is a main voice and the other entities I see are “workers” working on what I see and feel.

So ….. that’s all I have for today.

Spirit Science 😱


I have a theory that the spirits that are attacking me are made out of condescend carbon dioxide. Because whatever it is has to be a natural element in order to meld with my body.

I wondered if carbon dioxide would produce an electrical impulse since I was constantly being zapped and burned and electrocuted.

So it’s not impossible.

But the question is what would clear out carbon dioxide that works?

Apparently Diatom converts carbon dioxide into oxygen and organic carbon but they its in water so that may not work.

Clearly oxygen is important to the human body. Often times I feel like I’m being suffocated I have heard this a lot from other schiz and people who suffer this experience. The lack of oxygen of course deteriorates the body.

But what about seeing this hanging around the house?

I’ve tried normal keeping the windows open and airing out the house. And NO sage does not work.

Just been wondering what is a scientific way of looking at this.

Just a theory.