East River NYC: Entity in the East River: How I see Entities

So I see entities a number of different ways. One way is in a dream state, the other is vision, which is very similar to recalling in the imagination, but forced in the mind. The next is if they are feeling BOLD it would be considered a hallucination or an apparition. So actually seeing an outline of these Entities just randomly in my living room or bedroom. As a side note they tend to stay in the same thing places. They don’t move a that much unless attached or seen.

Most often I see their watery outline. Or I see a smoke like line move through space. Or sparkles if I am looking it’s way randomly.

Most attribute sparkles to Angels and I have not found this to be the case. I have found this to be entities of whatever sort, connecting to or getting closer to you. That’s how they move. If you see a sparkle I think it’s an entity getting closer to you.

Now another way I see them is through what I call patterning. It’s difficult to explain because I’m still kinda understanding it. But against pattern be it in nature or in this city skyline I can see them as well.

The most recent occurrence would be a perfect example. So I take a cab home usually after taking care of my godson. The Uber goes up the FDR on the East Side of Manhattan. For a couple of weeks I have seen entities “patterned” against the LARGE skyline of Brooklyn but found it to be Queens later. I explain my experience HERE.

Basically I saw the entities face against the sky line and the a blue light dropped out of the sky. It was SUPER ODD! And even the voice/ entity that harassed me said “OH SHIT!” when I saw it. They are dramatic so I take that aspect with a grain of salt. But they looked similar to the entities that where harassing me. I calmly observed. Some nights I saw them in THE SAME AREA, which is where the Pepsi sign is in Queens. Some nights I didn’t but mostly I did.

Now I said since I no fucks nowadays that I was going to go over there and see what’s going on energetically. And then you know what happened today? Lol they moved to Brooklyn. Lol so I saw the pattering against the night skyline in lower part of the East River.

Are they scared of me going over there? Why move? They act buck wild most days.

I’m not going to chase these demonic alien bobble spiders heads all over NYC but they can kindly get the fuck up out my city and my life.

If anyone does energy work or matrix work definitely check the East River or edges of NYC. HUGE entities over there.

Imma snitch fuck em. 🖕🏽

We really are children in Christ

I am taking care of my Godson. And I have been blessed to be in this position. To watch him grow, to challenge myself, to love, to influence another human being positively (hopefully) in this world.

Today my Godson smacked me in my face because he didn’t get his way. We had a good day and he asked if he could give me a kiss on the cheek in bed, I said ok. Then he asked me to read a book, I said no because it was bed time and because he didn’t listen earlier. And stuck out my cheek for a kiss goodnight as he smacked it. This was the first time he has done something like this. But he does misbehave.

I stepped a way to the door and told him “Don’t you ever in you life smack me in the face again” I felt really disrespected especially since all I do is try to support and help him. I had to call his mom so she could reprimand him over the phone. He reluctantly said sorry. But I plan to speak to him more tomorrow about it at a level he can understand. That he hurt my feelings and he should not put hands on anyone else. (No one hits him in the house and I know the difference between play fighting and malicious aggression).

I know this is a part of growing up. Pushing the boundaries. But as I was watching the sermon from Transformation Church tonight. The message was in short about appreciating what God has got us through. And where we are now. And I thought about my struggles with my Godson. And how I could give him everything he needs and wants and he will ask for something else and smack me in the face when he does not get his way. A brat essentially.

I am a brat to God. I mean I rarely asked for much. But, good or bad, God got me through and made a way. Christianity is my roots. While Ifa is deep roots of understanding my ancestors. Christianity is what was instilled in me as a kid.

I think about how angry I am/was with God that he didn’t remove this demonic bobble head alien spider demon octopus 🐙 thing from my body and life. The pain, the 🤢, the rape. Why would God allow for something like this to exist and to harm me.

Last night I thanked God for allowing me to see this side of life and maintain some sanity even though I am clinically seen as insane with the label schizophrenic attached to me. I’ve met some interesting people. I saw that despite my previous sexual orientation my family really came through for me. And over time while this experience has not stopped there are some better moments now than there was 3/4 years ago. The intensity has gone down a bit but the pain is still there. Today was difficult to walk and I needed more caffeine than a human should have to reanimate my body and get through the day lol.

I got kicked out of Schizophrenic Group because I said something about God. I said that God isn’t a Happy Meal. Meaning that we don’t just wish and get what we want. That there is work that goes into it, spiritually or physically, emotionally, mentally, financially…. etc.

But I thought about how often (speaking from my own perspective, so this includes me) that we get upset with God and smack him in the face. And like a good parent, he stands there and wait till we are done with our shinnagings, or allows us to feel what not being in his presence really feels like.

It scares me because so many people commute suicide during these times, or do harm but that is our test and something bigger than my human brain can fully comprehend.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel or in the tunnel there is someone who is guiding the way.

I was just thinking about how we (like children) always want more from God, with the least amount of effort or remembering all God has got us through prior. And how we turn into brats when we don’t get our way. Or even hateful towards God.

I know I did.

Sermon here:

Religion/ Belief: It’s not fair!!!!

So, I have a very complicated view around religion. And I guess DETAILS of a “religious/spiritual” life.

I mean there are one so many different religions. Then on top of that Christianity alone has so many different sects. And it’s like one sect is like don’t eat shellfish and women wear skirts only and the other is like God loves everyone no matter what. And it’s REALLY REALLY CONFUSING!

Like beliefs and religion and spirituality it’s all super confusing. And then I have my beliefs and that is crossed with what I experience (which is being tormented by some demonic entity, acts like demons looks like an alien head on a spiders body 😳 yea FML). Like HOW DO YOU EVER RESOLVE ANY OF THAT?!

Is is demons that look like aliens, is it just disgruntled aliens? Is it occult black magic to make me lose it?

Like religion doesn’t tell you, YO you might encounter a demon that looks like a big headed alien or a fucked up teddy bear and it will try to trick you….. and so many new agey spiritual beliefs are like far out there that many times I just think it’s the crafting of people who have been dipped by these entities. But then that still doesn’t explain them and why they are here or playing with us.

Like seriously my whole belief system is honestly shattered into pieces.

This shaman lady told me that “my masculine side feels hopeless and like no one or nothing can help it” and that is why I am getting attacked and the masculine side is not protecting the feminine and that if “my masculine side BELIEVES that, nothing she does will work”, well that is nice to know $500+ later! Very convenient.

Even when taking these stupid medication, or spending my money on these shamans like all I have is to go on what i have seen play out in the past. But I still engage it because idk what else to do. So there is a part of me that hopes it works, while keeping my expectations low. And a part of me is like, if it’s medical schizophrenia, meds should work regardless if I think it’s some alien demon. And if it’s an spiritual thing, then who ever I go to for help should be able to just pluck these fuckers out whether I believe exactly what they believe or not. Because my EXPERIENCE is different then theirs. Like some distant healing shamans see these things are just colors or shapes, I see them as straight up crazy looking entities because they are all in my face in 3D. Like actually, not just on some “astral travel lucid dreaming tip” like all around me chillin my house like they pay rent.

And God and Jesus is no where to be found. Jesus’ name does not make them run for me. These assholes said they were Jesus when they electrocuted me mean and showed me a vision of a modern looking Latino guy. They think they are funny, I don’t.

These Entities broke my faith.

I’m being honest.

Like why are they able to do what they do to me? To anyone?

Why cant anyone who has “gifts” help me? Why can’t God show ME grace?

I figured no matter what I believe because of my immediate circumstance, that something ….. anything should work. I tried to cover all my bases.

Medication, holding on to faith in God as well as seeking assistance for people who supposedly know more about this stuff then I do.

Like I’m tired of getting raped by demons or whatever the fuck this thing is. And I’m tired of being shunned by all aspects of spiritual beliefs because my experience, which is all I have to go on, doesn’t match up with theirs. I’m tired of waiting on God. I’m tired of seeing these doctors that prescribe me a pill that does absolutely nothing. Like Benadryl does more for me than these antipsychotic meds.

And all these people push this situation back on me. Not that I am pushing it on them, but they always make me feel like it’s my fault or I’m not doing enough. And THAT makes me feel crazy. Just constantly doing and no results. I’m doing the best I can with what I got. Like people are experiencing this all over the world in various degrees mine just happens to suck more because I get raped and molested and these entities drain my energy to the point I pass out or never feel rested even when I sleep for two days.

So like what am I suppose to do? That is why people get paid…. right? They are the expert. If I sat there and tried to prescribe my own self meds then…. what do I look like?

And what’s worse is that this shaman said it’s “my masculine half” that’s going through this and my feminine half is rejecting him. And like this is all happening on a level I have no control over. So it doesn’t matter that I have kept my paths open. Or that there are other possibilities. There is nothing I can do about it.

And then religion just tells you to wait for Gods grace, or that you are a sinner and deserve this. And I’m like HUH? Like even “Gods favorite” was used as an example. Job right? Lost everything? So did he deserve it? Or like is a cancer patient suppose to sit there and just pray the cancer away? Or do you go to treatment?

Like it gets so funky and confusing.

And that is not even going into the hypocrisy of a Christians.

And if grace doesn’t show up in your life, then there is something wrong with you. Not the fact that socioeconomically the world SUCKS, or your body is just not strong enough to fight off whatever, or that accidents/ catastrophes just happen.

And that’s the same thing I am finding with these “healers”, if what they did doesn’t work, there is something wrong with YOU! Not the fact that what they did and took money for didn’t work.

I don’t know I’m close to just being agnostic at this point, cause honestly I don’t know shit. All I know is there is some big head alien spiders fucking with me and trying to ruin my life. That’s all I know for sure. And even that could be an illusion. Maybe they don’t look like aliens maybe they look like giant etheric PUSSIES floating around in the “astral”.

I’m tired of this.

False Teachings: Kundalini, False “Awakenings”, Ascension… The New Age 🙄

So this was a comment on a video I was watching. I can attest to the false and misleading teachings.

Again I slipped into New Age trying to find God for me. And trying to figure out why I was having “supernatural” experiences, And just found some wacky stuff. But at the heart of it there was some…… idk truth to the matter but it is only meant to suck you in even deeper.

So while I might not see the “serpent going up my back” I have seen snakes in the “astral” and I have seen these other things placed over the forehead that represents the 3rd eye.

One time I was walking down the street, neck deep in the thick of this experience. And a old school (but young) psychic woman stopped me on the street. She said she had something to tell me. And I went to her apartment. She said I had a “tear in my aura”, 🤯🙄🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ (okie dokie) she pulled some cards and asked me what do I think the blindfold represents. For some reason I said protection (and I know how to read tarot unfortunately). In that moment the blindfold for me meant protection and keeping us from seeing certain things.

I don’t know if God removed “the veils” from my eyes, but the way the Entities try to cover them is COMPLETELY different than the way I have lived my life over the last 30 summin years. Like I can actually see a black patch in front of my eyes. It’s subtle enough to not completely ruin my physical vision. But still there. This black patch (or attachment) creates visions illusions dreams. And when they remove them when they feel like it, I can see them (be it real astral or an illusion) something is there and or something put something there. So this aspect developed in 2017 a year after hearing the voices. Seeing the entities would scare anyone. Seeing Troll/Demon/ Reptilian, Alien heads Floating around, Praying Mantis, it’s uhhhh not fun. I mean some may think it’s fun but it gets old real quick. Especially once you realize you don’t really have much control over the experience.

I wasn’t even deep into yoga. Just went to two classes with my coworkers to have a “healthy lifestyle”. I’m not gonna lie I enjoyed the strengthening aspect of yoga and stretching areas that normally would not get attention. But honestly in my process of elimination I have no problem letting that go as well.

Like as much as people want to deny it SOMETHING IS UP and A LOT of people are feeling it one way or another.

I mean to me the 3rd Eye is a light receptor. That is my take. Super Natural or not, I don’t think anyone would see the “supernatural realms” if these entities were not in VERY close proximity. Like I saw sparkles when I was younger but that is an attack from a further range by an entity. But if the entity is close by (at least for me personally), you might see black shadows, actual entities, get pain in the body.

Entities as I keep reiterating in this blog , from my observations, are made up of light, light can apparently have consciousness and through their own consciousness they can create illusions with the light that they are. That is the best way I can describe it.

Some want to play with these realms and do you boo, but not me. At best I want to release myself. And that’s been my goal ever since this stuff started.

But it has been interesting putting together some of these concepts together. At least I have SOME understanding of my spiritual oppression.

Twin Flame: False Ascension Matrix Testimony

I resonated with 90% of her story. I think the only difference between she and I, is that I gave up the Twin Flame™ story.

They story was NOT healthy for me nor was it believable AND the “dark entities” and or “false light beings” were taking to the MAX!

Like damn!

And when I finally let go of the Twin Flame story that is when things went south. Like REALLY bad. And honestly I think it is because they could not play me anymore. I declared that I am not a twin flame and I made sure to work on making sure that in my mind it was not true for me even with the Entity voices would try to take over my mind to convince me, or show me images and dreams of my ex constantly as if it meant something. I had to literally let the thought roll by with out attaching to it.

I can’t say if there are real twin flames or not. BUT I can tell you that these Entities are playing the 💩 out of us.

And there seems to be a profile to them. Liars being the most predominant.

And if they are not playing the “divine feminine” with twin flame bull💩 they are attacking the men with Targeted Individual and or Gang Stalking. (Not to say there aren’t any other genders in each it’s just that one tends to be more dominated by one than the other)

That is the level I am right now. And I haven’t been able to move past the idea that something is definitely lying to us and manipulating our emotions and trying to ruin our lives. For what purpose I honestly don’t know. People will say to “suck our negative energy” or “sexual energy” which is known as looshing, but it is not really adding up with what I see or experience in the astral.

I definitely see these beings with these straws or tubes that they use to connect to any part of the body. But whether or not that is directly in relation to sucking my negative or sexual energy (which they create through torturing me physically or mentally) like it’s a Starbucks Carmel macchiato frappe….. idk.

It is just like, twin flame is a game (level), so is Targeted Individual just another. There is no hierarchy. Just beliefs and layers of illusion to peel back and let go of. Even I’m on a layer, which I feel stuck on with thinking this some demonic entity conspiracy hoax.

Like all these demonic aliens Entities had a conference on how they were going to dupe us and fuck our whole shit up.

And that is what I see. But I often wonder if that is an illusion as well. Whatever is going on I don’t think they would give themselves up so easily, so there has to be another level to this than what I am experiencing. So I am right there with everyone trying to unlearn any bullshit that this experience is trying to convince me of.

It’s funny because these Entities tried to force me into a really twisted idea of religion and God. I have been trying to understand the Bible as best I can to see how that resonates with this experience.

Through out this even with in my mixed emotions and being mad at God and feeling abandon I tried to maintain a faith in God and in Good. Even though I can not see or experience that now. I need to have faith in Good and in God. Again I’m just not sure if God works the way that most of some Christians teaches it. There is a LOT of prophets and a LOT of prosperity gospel and idk I’m not sure if it’s fully resonating with me. Again I never directly asked for ANYTHING from God other than to get rid of these entities and this experience. I was just kind of floating through life and being thankful for what I had, even when things sucked I tried to get the lesson out of it. But this experience……. is out of control.

I’ve tried to maintain a celibate life, learning the word, maintains faith. But when a pastor says to listen to the Holy Ghost I’m like 😳🤔😕😐😶. Cause this chick over here can’t trust anything after the level of abuse and manipulation I have received from the entity voices. I told my mom I am gonna need ID like a burning bush or something to believe it’s God or even the Holy Spirit at this point.

I feel dumb for the most part. A chunk of my life is gone to this seemingly pointless experience. And that is something I can never get back. Time.

Either way I made this long enough.

Reality Meltdown? 🤷🏻‍♀️

So I am seeing the Entities energy WAY more clearly!

Like I can see how they surround my room. I can see how physical 3D space matters. So like there is a fan in my room and one like hanging over there. I see how they curve or attach to the divider screens in my room. I see how they are connecting around in my room.

So I am seeing them and in this space and it baffles me that others don’t see them, I’m trying to understand. I mean if you don’t know what to look for then I guess yea you just walk around in space not caring about it. But I mean I see them move all the time. And black or white sparkles (now, very few colors). I know they can create illusions with light. I know they wear some sort of cover up.

I’m just wondering how much longer do I have to wait on God and much further will I be abused by these Entities? Like am I going to have a COMPLETE reality melt down? Like just neck deep in the “hallucinations” I’m practically living in it now. They have merged into my world, but I have not into theirs. And be honest I’m really good on that shit. I want to be left the fuck alone. I’m not falling for any of this bullshit with them.

Like after last night being woken up and seeing that shit (previous post) and now just like seeing these misty entities all in my face and shit like I’m fucking over it.

I’m trying to keep my shit together.

Try to actually get my shit together and do something with my life other then watch these fucking rapist demons play in my head and with my body.

Like am I just going to be sitting in THEIR world one day?

Are they waiting for me to preserver to rock the shit out of my world……..AGAIN?

Like I am really done with this lame ass astral game. Seriously.

Like I don’t even know why they even put this etheric black patches over my eyes. Why? It has to be my physical eyes and not my one “third eye” because I saw them do it twice. So I don’t know if I just have good eye sight……or something with my brain allows me to see light differently or different light spectrums. But they are fucking covering/attaching to my eyes. And playing games with that shit.

i am OVER this bullshit.

This is what I have been saying in this blog for 3 years

Many spiritual people don’t know what they are messing with. Even when it’s “good”.

In the Bible it says even gods elect will be fooled. I was fooled but quickly (maybe a year into it) was like things aren’t adding up here.

There is probably even another layer to the bullshit.

But I’m so over this.

I’m glad she at the end apologize for ever sending or harming anyone cause she didn’t know.

Fuck the matrix!

Examples of Matrix Superimposed faces

This is an example of the super imposed matrix shit I saw on the New York City skyline.

I’m not sure if this has always been and I’m just waking up to it. I don’t know if this is a matrix joke to get people to believe in SOMETHING. idk if this is a take over, but something is up. And people are feeling it. And it doesn’t feel life giving but vampiric, controlling, psychotic.

People will praise it. But I don’t trust it.

Random Day with Demon/Spirit

Then earlier I picked up my godson from school and we got off the bus at a main busy shopping area to catch the train and something/Entity nipped at my inner thigh close to my genitals and I looked ahead of me and there was a medium size dark energy at the center / clear watery outside energy there and I walked around it to the crosswalk.

There was a strange old man on the corner street crossing not doing anything but standing there (he wasn’t going to cross) and I’m not sure if it was attached to him but when I looked at it he moved. But I let it know I know I know it was trying to attach to me.

And I was looking at the NYC skyline tonight on my way home in a cab and I could see impressions of these entities in them that was right before I saw the light drop out of the sky.

I was on the east river of NYC and I saw a (light blue) light drop midway out of the sky (plasma light, orb?) …… it didn’t have weight cause it curved a little bit and then went out. It definitely wasn’t space material because it was so low and wasn’t a firecracker. today was a strange day.

Like SUPER weird day. I wasn’t seeing them as much for a little while and today I’m not sure if it’s because I am on my moon cycle, or I didn’t take my anxiety meds for a day or what.

I told the Entities nice special effects but I’m not scared. Just over being harassed and not truly knowing.

I don’t even have anxiety tbh. Not out of the norm. I know what’s false anxiety feels like. Lethargy now THAT I have. Just tired energy wise and tired of the bullshit. But here I am telling you about my crazy day and how these entities are playing with me.

I hope to be out this bullshit matrix of entities soon.

I wonder if they fuck with only a set amount of certain people so they can keep their cover. They are really full of it.

Attacks at my Best Friends House

Straight to the point these demon Alien whatever they are have been heavy attacking me at my best friends house. They don’t want me there. They did the same thing at my parents house for years and I guess they have calmed down in the last year. But now they have been attacking me under the guise of an entity attached to my best friends boyfriend.

The first attack was music and constant waking me up in my sleep.

The last attack was holding me down in my sleep (also known as sleep paralysis) and then when I woke up I saw an Entity descending away from me into the other room.

They did say two weeks prior to my friend meeting her boyfriend that “she needed a “man play” to get me out of here”, they don’t want me to be happy they want me isolated and alone so they can rape me and ruin my life. And I’m tired of it.

I’m trying my best to both be there for my friend, be there for me, not trigger myself pointlessly but also push myself. Ya know?

The fact that they did this at my parents house as well is a telling sign. They wanted me to run away when my sister had a stroke (which I believe they caused), if I ran away I’m a terrible person and they can loop that endlessly, if I stayed (which I did to help my sister recover) then they get their “loving sister” play that they torture me while I take care of her. Saying this will be the only time I will be a mother, making crude comments about my sister body while I clean her, incest. Sick twisted shit. If I didn’t love my sister I would have ran. Being honest. I wanted to off my self being completely honest. That shit coming out of no where scared the shit out of me.

Unfortunately it’s my life now. I had to learn to just “rise above it” water down a ducks back if you will. But it hurts my soul. It really does. I can’t be me with this. I don’t know how to function.

Either way that’s what they are doing AGAIN! Run me out! I’m tired of being attacked. Played with. Raped, molested, mind twisted, shit is so sick. I know I’m not crazy. You don’t just wake up one day at 33 like this.