Matrix: Brainwashing : Trigger Words

So you know how a lot of those hippy new age blogs say “just ask the universe” , then we step the game up with the business Guru’s who tell you the CORRECT way to ask the universe.

Positive affirmations basically. Not only with your thoughts and words but with actions and it can be a slow process.

So if you are trying to diet, instead of saying “I’m not going to EAT” you would say “I am full” something like that. Also I’m a goofy so I like to eat so I previously would indulge in making decadent healthy dishes. It was fun to turn something that wasn’t AS healthy more healthy.

The reason I mention this is TRIGGER WORDS. We all have them programmed in us consciously or unconsciously. Essentially they are there. These can be goals, fears, subconscious programming from the media (internet, tv, music, new, ect), culture.

Well these Entities (Mantis /Reptilian) telepathically brainwash through fear. The fear keeps you distracted until you realize it’s an illusion then it just becomes annoying.

What they do is implant triggers while you are too focused on pain and fear and the situation

Next thing you know your SO lost.

They said there is free will but I believe when only two choices are presented that is not free will. That is a false sense of choice.

I was on my weight loss journey for 4 years lost a solid 100lb+ becoming “schizophrenic”. I was able in my own time to eliminate what wasn’t working for me this included smoking too since I was working out more. You can feel that💩. So I maybe two at the end of the day. Some days none. I also worked with kids and didn’t want to smell like smoke so this made me try t be more responsible. Including working out in the off season so I kept my muscles active (I worked at a farm). So I was proud of my accomplishments with my body even was healing symptoms of PCOS. Then BOOM ATTACK from another dimension!

With all that said….. that was the track that I was on and I did NOT THINK this track was even fathomable.

What these entities would do is…. say “Stop smoking” , “Don’t eat anything here (this house/realm)”. What I found was that I would do the opposite I would smoke more every time they mentioned stop smoking I would eat more every time he mentioned don’t eat or eat or go smoke a cigarette so the point was trigger words. The trigger words were smoke and eat there or both positive affirmations for doing the action. Actions that I had been previously had worked years to work on fixing my habits.

And all it took was less than a year.

They kept me in pain by mentioning things about childhood fears break ups mistakes made maybe a little wires that were told anything that would keep a person and guilt shame and fear. And this would happen nonstop over and over all day every day waking sleeping for about 2 1/2 years now.

The triggers have become habits so it’s a way of feeling like the entities can control me but I am now more so addicted to smoking then I was say or year ago I am a lot of this is because I am not as physically active because of the energetic pain that the entities put on me. And I know that it’s an illusion but it’s still a part of my daily reality.

So now that I know my triggers or the triggers programming that was put inside of me now what?!

If I was going to ask the universe for anything would be to remove these entities so that I can actually know what is me!

When I close my eyes I see the entities placing black patches over my vision so that I can’t see what is in front of me or around me so that I can’t fully see you with my third eye or good eyes or whatever you want to call them. These aren’t dreams. This is fully awake. But probably what dreams/ nightmares are made of.

So the fact that I’m being kept from being my fullest or true potential is telling me that I need for fleet of entities to attack me on a daily basis for over two years that I have to be energetically locked down in one place that I’m not allowed to pretty much go anywhere. A mother have to put black patches over my eyes or my third eyes so that I don’t see what they don’t want me to see how much is them attacking me regularly.

So think of the trigger words like curses or spells every time the entity says stop smoking as much as I want to think that this entity has my best interest at heart it doesn’t.

Really what is saying is to smoke causing confusion more confusion so that it can maintain control. What this entity is staying at the end of the day is SMOKE!

It doesn’t want me to be healthy or happy and what’s funny is my last letter to my ex (false twin flame) is that, that is what I wished for him.

And I meant it.

So now that I know the triggers are curses spells brainwashing what do I do?

I’m in a super tricky situation. Because I can’t seem to cancel them out as much as I have tried with ” positive affirmations”. There are at least 50-100 in my house alone.

Deep breath!

Matrix: Astral: Second Life

If you ever built something in the game called second life (I haven’t played in years) but the astral almost seems to have the same concept 2D and 3D like 3D modeling.

There is also something that would happen in the game called “griefing”. Where some nerd would drop a box or item somewhere which would release all of these images or items “lagging” or slowing everyone down or essentially “crashing” the game for everyone.

That’s almost like what I feel like is happening to me and others. An astral grief. Only it’s real and it hurts and I don’t get to crash and teleport somewhere else I’m just sitting in it …….. in pain.

The grief is energetic. And the more it disrupts my energy field the hard it is for me to walk or live. To think or be.

But each grief is and ACTUAL thing it’s not invisible, maybe to the naked eye……. but it can be a dot a bunch of, it can be a projection of an Entity, it can be images outline, so many different things but it’s a thing (vehicle) with a purpose (curse or bless) in my case curse the shit out of me or GRIEF.

Kinda glad I geeked out on that game for a while and learned how to build and not just shop. Helped me understand how these Entities move around and do what they do. How the they build themselves up.

Twinsies: Bad Dreams

So I had a dream last night that my sister and I and 3 other girls were in Moscow and there was a ledge to take a photo in front of a monument. So I’m taking a photo of them and my I tell my sister and this other girl to mover closer from the ledge and then she and the other girl fall off the ledge with no railing. 😵😵😵😵😵😵😵 it was high up too and I did look and immediately woke up pissed.

Then in real life my sister went to visit her friend she hadn’t seen in a long time in a cab and almost gets in a car accident. Same day.

Do you think they have anything to do with each other or I’m just being fucked with?

I never know how far these nasty monsters willgo.

Twinsies: Learning to Walk Again 👩‍❤️‍👩

In many ways my sister and I have the same struggle now. My twin sister had a stroke just as I became schizophrenic in 2016. She worked hard to walk again but still struggles. I wished nothing but for her to be better than she was healthier. I fasted …… prayed….. gave up on my ex (false twin flame). But that is besides the point.

I have gained weight living here at my parents. And not just physical but HEAVY energetic weight that has made it more difficult for me to walk down the street. I’ve been this weight before and walked down the street fine…… ran even.

At first I stopped going outside out of protest. The voices Entities were calling me a child molester or saying in children’s voices “I want to play with the child molester” so yea I freaked the fuck out and locked myself inside cause that shot is scary as fuck. I would go outside occasionally test if it was safe some times it was….. and quickly I would be met with the same scenario.

So then I found in 2017 my blood pressure raised for no reason….. then I felt almost the weight of the world every sound running through my body. My body buzzing…. vibrating doing all sorts of strange things but still heavy or feeling choked to the point I would stop in the middle of the street and wait for the Entity to stop choking me. My head would feel like it’s going to pop. So either way going outside or not going outside was torture. I’m an outdoors person by the way do not leaving my house for months is torture.

Where do I start to learn to walk again and push the pain like my sister did? With this insanity? The emotional mental and physically pain racing and gripping?

I know I have to get out of the house I guess I was looking for more relief from the headaches and choking from the Entity (Mantis). I know they pile on top of me when I go out.

I feel guilty for not trying harder. I just lay in bed hoping God will save me or these pills will. Both one or the other…. either one i don’t care …..please….. make it stop.

But God has give strength to endure and well the pills have given me the 💩💩💩 so…… so still waiting on the anti psychotics.

I’m not sure how to start with out making a bad situation worse…….

Twin Flame: I did it to myself

So I was clicking around my sister’s computer to find a new picture of myself to upload for my email photo and I saw a photo I didn’t recognize. And BOOM it was a screenshot my dumb ass took of my ex (false twin flame) and his wife/ baby momma all lovey-dovey.

I took it originally to file under some sort of evidence since this whole experience was about HIM for some reason. Again the Demonic Mantid Reptilian whatever hides behind people or idols.

I am happy that he found love and has a kid (which he said he never would want). But I happy for him genuinely. But I felt every nerve ending set off and a wave go over my body. I wasn’t upset that he has love, but that I know these Entities are taking advantage of my body or Looshing it. So I sat there and stared lovingly at their love happy for them pushing through the pain because I KNOW the pain was false. I stared until the pain stopped. And then I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because I have to endure this ridiculousness and it actually physically hurt a lot. But I know the difference between what is inflicted and what is from me. That sensation wasn’t from me.

I can see their parasites and their flower-like looking connections all over my body so I know it’s them.

I mean I did it to myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have had the photo but if I wasn’t playing Scooby Doo Inspecto gadget magical mystery tales on MY LIFE maybe I wouldn’t! The Mantis’ said this was all for a “second chance” with my twin flame. The Mantis said he put voodoo on me when I started feeling pin pricks all over my body.  So I did feel some typa way about this man but once I go through the illusion and the lies, I realize while we had our own shit and he did hurt me… he wasn’t behind all of this. BUT the Mantid was using his internet persona to get to me.

So I’m not mad he is happy, I’m just mad I’M not happy. they are not exclusive to each other. I can be happy for others who are winning in life (even if we didn’t have the BEST relationship) and still want the best for me. I guess I mention this because that’s what the Mantis’ want they want me to be unhappy that he is happy and has a kid with a beautiful woman (and yes she’s totally goergy).


I just want to feel better. This has sucked ass for so long.

Mantis Problems 🐜

So…………. I think one of my main problems is a Mantis / Mantid problem. In an article on they identified them as shapeshifters which would make sense as to why I was seeing so many different characters. I mean they literally have a bag full of tricks. They can look human with enough “light magic” or like a classic grey alien. I have seen Sunglasses and Masks they put on. They seem to be made out of Ether. Ether …. is malleable. If anything it’s keeping it together that is the real art.

Either way, these assholes had a bunch of babies in my house and I’m losing my mind. I am not sure what my relation is in this process. But I feel like I died a thousand times. I mean if you are a good being, and you need help like JUST ASK!!!!! Whats with all this nasty shit? JUST ASK and be nice and decent!!! People donate blood right? Food? Money? time? resources? So if these beings needed something so bad all they had to do was ask! and make some sense about it. And trust that I would use my own guidance. and if I said no move along. There are plenty of hippies out here willing and able. And now I’m sitting here feeling like death barely able to write and take a crap in a day.

Like it had to be 100’s of babies. And I’m not sure if they put another load in.

I am not even sure if they are the ones acting like Reptilians or Shadow people or Trolls since they can shapeshift.

Side note: The reason they like TV is because it’s predictable especially with commercials. They love pop entertainment for some reason. And I seem to be apart of it.

My friend said to get Organite towers to get rid of them but I don’t want to pay for yet ANOTHER thing that will disappoint me and waste money I don’t have. They aren’t cheap range in $30 for a small one the size of my palm to $100+ for one the size of a small statue.

So why they are connected to me I don’t know. Babies? Energy food? Pure delight and entertainment? They hate humans? False sense of control? They did try to say they were God more than like 1000 times, especially after I rejected the whole Isis and Osiris bit. I was like do you know how many bitches out here think they are Isis reincarnated? maybe I just don’t understand how reincarnation works. But from my knowledge at the time they then moved on to the Big G.

Side note: I think an entity or entities use different frequencies for different things. Like light frequency is for movement, radio waves for sound and speaking. I’m not sure but you get my drift that maybe each wavelength if they tap into it allows them partial access. People are super concerned about Wifi and EMF and I’m not too sure where they lay on the spectrum or how they interact with the body I know people say its harmful to the body but I’m not sure how they interact on a spiritual or metaphysical level.

So I believe that’s one Large chunk of my issue is the Mantid’s. I just don’t know how to get rid of them or why they are here in the first place.

I’m not going to make this too long but I’m pretty set on that being a consistent part of this experience. And they tend to hide behind people (humans), or images of idols, or masks. So it makes a lot of sense.

Now on to WHY THE FUCK DID THEY RUIN MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deep breath……….. deep breath…….


Freedom of Speech: Father Figures 🤷🏻‍♀️ 🏳️‍🌈

The dust has settled from 2016 where we were all attacked by a curse.

The difference is I could see it lurking around the house and no one else could.

In 2016 and 2017 we were all more gentle, more loving, more conscious it seemed of each other (except for my need for quiet). But 2018 it seems ever took a deep breath and became themselves again.

On Father’s Day my dad told a story and mentioned a Transvestite I corrected him and said you mean Transgender, he paused and then went on with story calling people faggots in it and everything. I said “omg I’m going to have an anxiety attack”, he was saying it so loud and it was so unnecessary and his daughter (me) is a faggot too.

So I got up went to the bathroom to breathe and tried not to ruin diner more than it already had.

Then today my mom and dad went to diner and I asked how was it, he complained as usual. Then I said that sucks, sorry to hear that. Then my father said I’m just in a bad mood because an ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT ran into my tail light. I was just like HUH!

I feel like their is a Bigotry Curse over America making people iggnant as FUCK!

In many ways I also feel like my trying to correct my father triggered something in him. Something where he now feels the need to spew off any fowl description of another human being just to prove to me he can and will. Freedom of speech.

But now I am subjected to the fowl ideas, along with the authority and the terrible physical sensation when I hear another person being senselessly made fun of.

I can’t change my dad.

I can’t reason with him either he too “old school” which equals rejecting anyone else’s views.

I’m in no position to stir the pot or leave. Part of my wanting to leave before the kicked me out at 19 was him calling everyone dyke, lesbo faggot this or that.

I want to say the Entities are involved in this. I have not been looking for them on people because I just thought it would be better for my sanity. I can’t save anyone anyways.

But I do know how these Entities work and all it takes is a slight change in mannerisms or voice or word choices to know when a person has been influenced.

That feeling that I offended him by trying to correct him, and NOW he is trying to get me back by being offensive more. Sensationalism. My whole body becomes on edge and I can feel every nerve ending.

Now I have to sacrifice yet another part of myself and be quiet because that’s my father and I’m never going be able to get through to him the effects of what he is doing. Because there is an intention behind it as well.

He wasn’t like this say a month ago. Or 6 months ago was a totally different person.

I can’t prove it is Entities interference. But I do have photos of them around him and (like super obvious ones). But I can say it feels terrible and out of wack. So I have to forgive my father for not being aware of these facts. I can’t wake him up and honestly I wouldn’t want him to be. Enjoy your golden years battling Giant Alien Mantis’ and shit yea….. Good on that.

I want my independence so I don’t have to deal with this shit and the shit isn’t tied to my livelihood. And I can just enjoy my family as is.