Mandala Effect and Targeted Individuals

Just some thoughts.

Mandala Effect I wonder if the mandala effect has to do with “targeted individuals”. I mean I wrote it off as just people being misinformed. I mean our memories aren’t always the best. But there is also our “minds eye” or “third eyes” or “imagination” so when we are asked a question we access it in some way. So I wonder if those who believe something to be one way and not the other are under “mind control” as “targeted individuals”. Just a theory.

Gang Stalking. From what I read many people believe they are being stalked or followes by a group or organization. And while this may be true as a “target individual”, one I doubt they would make themselves so obvious. And two its a part of the “paranoid schizophrenia” “play”. In my own experience the VOICE  or Entity, whatever you want to call it…. Would make me believe it was my ex and his friends doing this to me. Then it moved to my place of work and it was my coworkers. Then moved to my home and almost everyone in NYC had something to say about me. Talk about gang stalking, how about about a whole borough “bullying” you? It was/ is intense to say the least and makes it difficult to go outside and engage the world like I use to. Once I realized this is impossible… For EVERYONE in NYC to be talking about little old me things changed. Once I realized it is impossible for my ex and his friend (who lived on the other side of the country) to psychic telepathic access to me to bully me. Things changed. Once I realized that THE VOICE(s) were talking too fast to be two different people things changed. So while it still happens some times…. I don’t believe it. It is just ONE Entity simulating this nasty ass shit.

As I said before, like I wonder if this how people get hurt or go crazy and hurt people thinking they are doing this shit to them, or suicide cause they are lost in some sick simulation overlay. 

Types of voices. You may notice both a pitch or frequency accompanied by a white static noise. Try ear plugs and touching certain parts of your body like ears or neck … Or affected areas or closing your body in yoga positions. The tones may change. But I pray that you not hear them if you are uncertain. The types of voices I noticed are as followed.

Main Voice: I’m not sure if some people are even able to get there. But once you get past the paranoia or characters or actual people that IT is hiding behind … You may find one voice. I’m not sure how that may play out for individuals because each have a different experience. But this is in relation to “targeted individuals” and the feeling of “gang stalking”. My particular Voice or Entity attachment…. Is intelligent, manipulative, obsessive, lies, I could say creative, but for this experience is absurdly abusive and inhumanly psychotic. May present itself as an archetype of authority, God, Jesus, Goddesses, Buddha, Ex partners, Bosses, Satan, Aliens, Angels, Parents, etc so that you feel powerless. Which in that moment may very well feel true. This “Main Voice Entity”, orchestrates most of the experience. The main voice may very well emulate YOU. So while its orchestrating it is suggesting you (light images, memories, or actual “subconscious thought”) how to respond or placing false feelings.

The Scream: This one often sounds like a distant scream that repeats over and over. Usually negative. May be “fuck you” or “bullshit” or “you’re crazy” “you’re ugly” or something that means something to you. Tends to rhyme. At one point I called it Rumpelstiltskin. But repeats it over and over again. This one also tends to be melodic. So you may hear music like sounds off of running water or other ambient sounds like a fan or humming of a car. 

Voice(s) / Gang Stalking: So this one is difficult. One, being paranoid is natural in natural situation. Walking down a dark ally sure. Stepping out of your house to get some almond milk in broad daylight…. Not so much. The Voice Entity is an opportunitist and will exploit any situation. So if you think your Boss passed you up for a promotion it is going to maybe you felt down or depressed … angry…. This Entity Voice will make you go postal… Hopefully not literally.

So my theory is that The ONE Voice Entity controls the “many”. The one that sings, the one that screams in the distance, the one that says your name randomly, the one that make you think people in your life are out to get you (but hey who knows), the one that makes you think your being gang stalked, that the TVor radio is talking to you, talking to dead relativites or people far away, The one that makes you think you heard someone say some crazy shit and they didnt, the one that makes you think you are taking to goddesses or aliens. 

I can’t say what this…. Exactly… But that is what I have realized for myself. It doesn’t make it any less debilitating.

This post is just on voices I could go on about the whole experience. But it rarely ever makes any sense. So as with “targeted individuals” while I can relate with the experience and can see it relate with other experiences as well (spiritual awakening “purging” “dark night of the soul” or Kundalini symptoms and “surrendering”ect) there is always that one piece missing. 

Who, How, and Why?

Questions & Opinions …

I never asked anyone what they would do in my situation.

Q: You love your job, coworkers, interns (teens), community, and one day out of no where a voice starts to call you a child molestor every moment of the day. What do you do? 

I quit my job, because I couldn’t be around children while I was having this experience. I sought help, spiritually…. Medically. Nothing helped. But I gave up part of what I love, my identity, my creativity, my joy to address this. 

But what would you do?

Was I supposed to “preserver” as the voice has said? How do you push through something like that? There has been no end in sight. 

Why me? As someone who adores children wants to create a world where they are safe…. Why me? As someone who was working with teens to make the community better…. Why me? I always wonder if I actually flipped my shit at my job (I suffered in silence for months hoping it would go away) when I look back and think…..  wonder if I really flipped my shit and went complete psycho and believed the dulluisions to the point of reaction? Its scary. But I left.

The voice didn’t.

Cookies 🍥

I bought a cookie. The entity flashed a image of two Campbell soup looking kids kissing or something and I did my normal defense mechanism to make it stop and made the boy vomit and the girl get abducted by aliens/ sucked into the sky. Cause I didn’t want to see it anymore and I’m never sure how far the entity will go. Some times he won’t stop make the images strong the more I resist or more disgusting. 

So I did that. 😥 yes FML I only been awake for 20 mins. And then the entity said. 

“There is going to be a day where I make you watch pedophilia all day and then you will vomit, and maybe loose weight …. You’re still ugly”…. 

So that was my morning. 

Panties

I was sleeping …. Over sleeping

The entity showed me an upshot of a girls panties half way off. I have never seen anything like this nor do I want to. I wasn’t sure if it was to wake me up or to be a complete fucking piece of shit. 

I woke up and then said I don’t care…..he tried to force me to cry.… I asked him to stop. 

I rolled over in my bed and said I don’t care anymore because nothing is going to stop this for some reason. He called me a pedophile again for the 500 billionth time. I said a pedophile is someone who enjoys it. This is rape. 

Im like fuck it this makes me wanna smoke a whole pack of cigarettes again… The entity told me to “go smoke it and die. You are just like your mom”

It threatened me in other ways but I have no idea what emotion to feel. Yestureday I was more funny…. Like I was making fun of how ridiculous this has all been…. But waking up to some pedophile shit just ruined a already pretty shitty week. Im not going to see my mom in the hospital, I am no going to therapy today.. It doesn’t make it go away…. It doesn’t make any level of this manageable or forgivable. 

Whole Lotta Nothing

I’ve researched, ascension, awakening, kundalini, Ifa, witchcraft, curses, magic, psychology, self help, twin flame, gods/ goddesses, chakras, diminsions, 3d/4d/5d, matrix, aliens, incubus, demons, angels, spirits, tree of life, christianity, crystals, herbs, grids, energy, soul ties, entities, ect ect ect….. 

And I still don’t know what’s going on with me. I still don’t know why I lost everything. I still don’t know why this entity is attached to me or how. I don’t feel anymore enlightened just a bunch of information I have no idea what to do with… or may or may not apply to my own healing in this moment. I still don’t know what the fuck 5d is…. idk if I’m even a twin flame even though I’ve had all the symptoms. 

All my beliefs are in question. And while I believe firmly in God, is “energy” just spirit play? Spirits are one hell of a drug!

I can question. Yet I haven’t found any answers or solutions.

Where’s the light at the end of the tunnel? Where’s the enlightenment?  Ascension?  Love? Light? Gifts? 

If anything I feel my natrual born gifts were taken away. Where’s my inheritance?

Do we fight for nothing ? 

Running out of Games

After this entity was revealed not to be my “twin flame”/ ex, it has attempted to latch on to all my weak spots. Still trying to act like my ex, still treating my mother.

Its played almost every person in my life in one way or another to “shame” me even when or if shame or guilt was not there.

Sometimes I fall into the trap of my ex. I miss him. But I have to stay strong as to not allow this thing to consume me more than it already has. 

My energy is depleted. 

He has gotten “quieter” but still talks all day and night. Still does things to my body, still pursued my thoughts, flashes images, curses, still bargains still plays games.

I looked for help and he tried to use that person as a “play” as well role playing with himself to scare me from contacting this person again.

Since many of their other games have played out and he latches on to a few story lines he will switch between a few different ones through out the day in which he ,”thanks me in advance” for. 

  • My Ex (“twin flame”)
  • My Mom (guilt)
  • Forcing me to moving away for my mom or my ex interchangeable.
  • Dying of sexual abuse
  • “Getting Made” – basically talking shit/ whonhas the better comback argument back and forth. Being put to “shame”. Shade. 
  • “Paying” (“karma” bs)
  • There are a few others

What’s strange is that this language, lingo or concepts…. many of them are not even mine or ones that I use…. So its difficult to say this is mental illness. 

    Honestly as much as this thing uses my ex’s name and image I hope that there is no manifestation on his part. I wrotey ex telling a little bit about what was happening, just in case the same thing was happening to him. But I also blocked him so I couldn’t receive a message back. Not so much because I didn’t want to be triggered, but because I didn’t want anymore “storyline” for this entity to latch on to. He is constantly begging me to unblock him from my email. But I won’t, and never will. Maybe one day I will be able to explain everything that happened but for now, this is what I have to do. 

    At times I wonder why this thing is obsessed with my ex and I . He wanted to feel powerful…. Cool. He needed a way back in. 

    He constantly screams and gets himself agitated over the smallest things, unless he wants to be “sexual” with me energetically (which is why I thought he was an incubus). 

    In a way I’m starting to think they are all the same thing, just different masks. “Demons”, “incubus”, “entity”, “ghosts”, “aliens” ect… All just playing with people for fun.

    But only God knows. 

    Scooby Doo Mystery 

    • I’ve noticed that the entity only foretells the passing or health crisis of people on my moms side of the family and not my fathers at all. 
    • It’s been with me since I was young the furthest I can recall seeing a shadows is when I moved to NYC when I was 15. But there is a possibility that it was there prior.
    • I think the entity is obsessed with me because it used my ex to make me obsessed with it, And use my childhood fear (molestation, sexual abuse) to turn me off from being with anyone else.

    I will update this periodically.

    • Does not believe in God and wants to convince me there is no God.
    • Might be a “fallen angel”, demon of some sort. 

    Things I’ve done to make it go away

    • Paid psychics for reading ($$$)
    • Paid a twin flame therapist.
    • Paid for dark entity removal to the enteral sun
    • Prayed
    • Read up on kundalini awakenings, twin flame, incubus, spirit husbands, ascension, aliens, dark entities, shadow work, mythology, pictured a white violet flame around me. 
    • Writing out the end of a soul contract
    • Cutting soul tie visualization 
    • Binary beats
    • Self hypnosis for higher vibrations
    • Paid for Akashic record hypnosis ($$)
    • YouTube stuff
    • Paid a psychic ($1,000) for removal of dark energy. 
    • Paid ($5,000) for going to the psyche ward.
    • Therapy
    • Friend paid a witch for a spell but she wanted me to do a blood sacrifice. ($$$)
    • Spiritual bath ($50)
    • Salt baths 
    • Bought crystals ($)
    • Prayed somemore
    • Prayed for the entity
    • Church
    • Wrote about it
    • Waited it out
    • Fought back mentally and visually until mental and physical exhaustion.
    • Complied with some of the entities demands in hopes that it would leave like it said it would.
    • I tried to meditate and remain calm.

    And I’m tired. I’m done. I can’t do this alone. On a hood day its still terrible. My blood pressure is sky high. I feel every bit of noise in my body. I see faces of people I’ve never seen before. I cry when I wake up. Everything is hyper sexualize to the point of nausea. I thought that things were getting better but I don’t know what more to do.