“I AM Isis”: The Throne

When I first started hearing audible voices the Entities pretended to be my ex (false twin flame) an practically was forcing me to say “I am Isis”. Every day for almost a month the voice of my ex or a woman pretending to be an angel or his friend or something kept saying just say “I am Isis” and I mean Isis is cool. I know a lot of twin flames dig her.

When I was young my family gave me a lot of Egyptian children’s toys. And I always kinda loved mythology growing up. But these Entities definitely ruined that for me.

So in my twenties many of my friends were Caribbean mainly Haitian and Puerto Rican and so Ifa (Yoruba) and Santeria were things were talked about. So I also studied some of the mythology as well since many of my friends references these Gods and Goddesses as like some one would say Isis.

When I looked up the name of Isis, her name means. So Isis means “throne” in Egyptian mythology.

I never understood why they wanted me to call myself Isis. First they said I was in a past life, then they said it was code names, then it just got all really crazy and mixed up and scary.

Either way I was thinking yesterday about about something. One of the Entities who was dressed as an “Acturian” wrote in a photo “I test before I sit”, I told her I fail and she can have a seat somewhere else. One that didn’t feel very “Acturian” in nature and I don’t trust anyone now.

In Santeria and I believe in Ifa (might be called something different) called “mounting” which the Orisha takes over the human body. Usually these are designated ceremonies for this.

So the other day it’s like this experience and the name Isis and mounting all clicking for a moment.

My mind my body is a throne in which these entities sit who wish to be worshipped like Gods and or Goddesses. But unfortunately from what I SEE they are not. They don’t act like it, look like it and unless rape and migraines is Goddess status nah.

I can’t say how it is for other religions. I know Orishas have very specific ways they are suppose to act. So I guess I’m trying to understand where does my experience fall in all of this.

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Trauma and Entity attachments?

Why do we live in a would that if a rapist rapes that the victim then suffers Entity attachments? That loop and replay and cause fear and torment …… to relive the trauma over and over again.

Why don’t we live in a world where the rapist are spiritually tortured and tormented?

Why must the victim not only be revictimized socially, politically, and then spiritually?!???!!!

And the rapist just go about their life, make their money, date some chick that will never know what they did, have babies….

All the while you are tormented to the point that you can never trust anyone ever again, therapy once a week with the copay, eating every feeling, all the while every terrible thought is on replay while you pick up a bunch new ones.

Why do we live in a world where the bad people and the bad entities get away with everything all the while those who are victims or try to do good are constantly re traumatized?

I just don’t get it. It’s so backwards.

And then we revictimize by saying you didn’t do this enough….. shouldn’t have went here or done that….. that if you knew better you wouldn’t have been in the situation…… what about getting rid of these situations?

I miss good….. my faith in good is slowly diminishing.

I couldn’t even mourn the death of my grandmother who raised me because of this Entity just being nasty all day.

Can we not mourn? Grieve?

I’m tired in a way sleep will never quench.

Does a Curse make you go to hell? πŸ”₯β˜ƒοΈπŸ”₯

If someone or something cursed you or whatever do you automatically go to hell? Like even if you are a decent person?

Like what does it mean to be cursed?

All I see and hear and feel is damn near close to hell. And I have no idea why I would be cursed but there are bad people and beings that do unspeakable things.

But what does that mean ? Are we only cursed in this life or are we then dragged to hell by default because of the things we see and hear?

Idk what this all is. I am not afraid. But I’m kindaaaaaaa over it? I honestly don’t even have the attention span for this schizophrenic demonic reptilian incubus curse.

Cleansing Spiritual Portals; Close All Portals In Your Area – Rex Deus

http://www.rexdeus.com/wp/spiritual-warfare/spiritual-cleansing/

http://www.rexdeus.com/wp/spiritual-warfare/spiritual-warfare-prayers-against-aliens-and-predatory-species/

Its real out here in these spiritual streets y’all. They out here playing everyone for a fool. My friend is over here swearing Arch Angel Michael wanted him to join his ranks, mean while demon #blablabla was acting like my dead grandpa, my ex, God….  And I was like yo that gotta be Satan then. 

Like I don’t know God like THAT, Jesus is not my home boy but he is hella cool for trying to wake the people up. But I know this shit right here happening right now and to many people that bullshit ain’t God. NAH.

Either screw this ghost pictionary, astral demonic peekaboo bullshit. 

I’m seeing shit (the clear mist and one large dot) at the head of my families beds and I am PISSED NOW! Like its one thing if they are attacking me. But not my family not my sister who has been through so much and has struggled with health since birth.

We have a SERIOUS problem now.

Olfactory Curse πŸ‘ƒπŸ‘… 😷

I have to often clean my sisters bed pan. For some reason more so than her poop her pee make me gag in violent ways.

For whatever reason I was probably eating some cookies and saying fuck you to the demon archon as usual. Only this time the Archon said “I never did anything to your taste.” suggesting it was time to fuck with my taste.

This was also after reading in the schizophrenia group that someone had taste hallucinations. I think mostly bad. I had also heard certain taste and smells are indicators you should see a doctor as well diabetes, cancers, harmonal imbalances or times to detox. 

I had only smelled scents I don’t like, poop, weed, roses, rotten meat, sulfur, cologne (Cubano to be exact) I dont like, as the main smells it would send as a curse but never tasted. 

One day I woke up with the taste of my sister pee in my mouth. I tried smelling myself my pee and my breath and none gave the smell. It was just the taste. 

Then I realized that the Demon Archon wanted to fuck with my taste buds a few days before cause I’m a asshole and I call it “a dot that can’t enjoy my mothers wonderful cooking.”

So I guess of ALL the FLAVORS in the world it chose my sister strong ass pee (sorry sissy I’m just keeping it 100%).

So I’m like what is this Archon Demon doing? Putting one of the circle dots in my sister pee and then putting it in my mouth? Taste testing its curse first before it sends it my way? Like what the fuck? 

The funny thing is the first day I was like WTF and I just assumed I picked it up from snoring with my mouth open. A few times I smelled my sister pee in another room and it was totally confusing. But this time it went to merge with my taste buds.

Once I realized it was a curse or whatever it went away.

The way to tell is that my tongue had like an overlay feeling. You know when you eat something with lard and the lard kinda coats your tongue. It was kinda like that only grosser. I could not smell the sent on my body. And I kinda know what my own tongue tastes and feels like.  I mean I have had morning breath before. I call it “broccoli breath” but usually you can kinda smell it back and brush your teeth and bee good. Brushing my teeth didn’t help. 

But I realized it had been doing this to me for a while now silently. Usually about how I smelled. I was always self conscious of smelling good or TOO good. 

I was at a hippy school that didn’t want people to where perfume. My school was up in the mountains and my skin was DRY and cracking. I am a New York Island baby I need ocean moisture. Either way I bought some natural scent lotion from the Hippy College store and was putting it on in front a group cause my skin was hurting from cracking and they STILL was making fun of me for putting on a scent. 

I don’t know, I kinda felt like it was super racist for these white women to kinda dictate the way I should smell and it kinda pissed me off. I was like they could NEVER live in New York! Its like over load! People smell like whatever from different cultures and you just respect it!  Like if I wanna smell like an anarchist body ordor or lavender vanilla or my favorite chemical Stella perfume, like its none of their business. But whatever.

But I also challenged myself as well in conforming. I could also see if you ARE in fact cursed not having a cloud of scents confusing you is good as well. 

Whatever. Taste buds curse. Scents cursed, life curse, sight cursed, hearing curse, touch cursed, movement, foresight cursed by an Archon Demon for what reasons I don’t know.

This sucks!

Archon Name Calling 😒

Today was a little tough. I had to go do a task for my father. So it was going a little outside of my comfort zone. It started off as general pain.m, I could feel the entity tighten its grip around my neck or feel the pressure on my head and jaws and I tried to manage the back pain I always and only worsened with all the extra weight.

So I got some molten popped 4 got a coffee and hoped it would work soon. I started to study the outline of other people looking to see if they had the same as me. I only saw on a few people on the bus, but often they can turn sideways (the thin side) to not be visible like seeing an aura.

I also had the knocking tugging at my back outside for the first time. I never felt this outside before. 

Either, I pushed through the pain never sure of what I was seeing or what it even means. 

Then I wanted to share a snack with my mom that use to get when I was younger in the village called Pomme Frits, its like Belgium cut fries and all these crazy sauces so I thought it would be cute to share with her. Its in the NYU area on the city and as I walked through as I have many times before, this Demonic Archon started loosing its ever loving consciousness, and started doing the “child molester” play again. 

So I just keep walking, trying to get to first ave even though my back/ core felt like a noodle. I just kept walking ignoring it trying to breathe and just get to 1st Ave. 

Once I got to the bus stop and sat down I broke down crying. Because its such a gross game and thing to do. Like damn I can’t get some fries and chill one day? 

In some ways calling ME a child molester is an INSULT to my soul, to my core to who I know myself to be. I sometimes feel like its a cruel joke making fun of the fact that I am infertile because of PCOS. “You’ll never be a mom”, “you’re a child molestor”, “you heal no one”. 

A lady at the bus stopped asked me if I was OK I lied and said I was fine and thanked her. I was just over the day by then. I’m tired of being “strong”. I just want this over with, the voice, the thoughts, the headaches, the rape, the crazy dreams, done. 

The is no excuse for this torture. 

Tugging at my back πŸ’ŠπŸ‘‘

For the past month it has become more and more frequent that I feel a knocking / tugging sensation from the bottom of my spine to the base of my neck. 

Considering I have zero core strength now it is also easier to release tention that before. My bone my body is so soft…. Its strange…. Even when I was big before I was still muscular. 

I know this tugging at my spine/ knocking of my back has to deal with this Demon Archon whatever…. But I’m not sure what. It seems like its all a game. Voices are consistently going down the more I OD on 4 Benadryl and 4 Zzquils, which I have done to go to sleep maybe 8 times so far in maybe a 3 month period. I try not to do it too much. I actually hate the feeling of being knocked out like that but some days this demon just keeps me up and i need to. I mean the voice seems lower each time I do the cocktail but nothing else seems to be going away like the head pressures or seeing these Archon circles orbs all over my house. 

Uhg I don’t know. I wish someone knew and could tell me what’s going on. I am trying my best though. 

Pushing Spirits Out 😱


Tonight I stretched a little bit and noticed a feeling in my chest. So I started to contort my body meeting my shoulder blades and using body to push it out. Low and behold the those Archon Circles popped out of my chest only half way. So then I pressed my boobs together and bent over and I heard a crunch in my body around one of my organs and boobs.
And then I war back and watched the Archon with tenticles popping out. The are not easy to see. That’s why I don’t think its a hallucination. You have to really look for it. So the mother load archon was pretty much out of my body. I pushed it out and knew there was a release when I heard a crunch. I also know areas they may be in my body because if I run my hand over my body there is a change in tones, almost like I can hear my skin reacting. 

The only problem is that I pushed it out and I’m pretty sure it went right back in. 

So how do I keep them out. People are saying I’m not trying hard enough. But I DO. Everyday. I only started recently gaining SOME energy, everything hurts. And I am always trying to figure out new ways to deal with this but they always go back into my body. 

I pushed them out, I took hot ass salt baths, I saged the shit out of my home, set a fire next to a few of the Archon jelly fish. And I’m over it! 

I’m over it! What the fuck do I do to get the nasty pedo demonic nasty archon’s out of me?!? And stay out? Out of my home! So they don’t attack my family?

No one has been able to help me and I spent over $3,000 on people who said they helped when taking like 8 Zzquils worked better! Uhg!

πŸ’« Sparkle, Glitter, Angel πŸ’«πŸ˜‡πŸ˜ˆπŸ‘ΏπŸ’€πŸ‘»πŸ‘ΉπŸ‘ΌπŸ‘€

What happens when you hit your head? Or you turn your neck or cough waaay too hard?

You like sparkles…. My grandma called them falling jacks, others call then seeing stars, or in cartoons with the Tweety birds circling their head. 

Essentially I feel like seeing sparkles, sparks, glitter constant glowing things is basically “invisable” truama hapoenibgbto the brain. This could be medical, expect I personally have had eye and brain checked. 

Could what we see as angels, or shiny gold pretty glitter lights be a lie and really it is an indicator that our life force is being taken, our brain damaged?

And all we have to do is just sit there dumb founded like “oooooh pretty glitter!!😍” while our life force is manipulated and taken. 

Lonely Planet 🌏 (“Spiritual Awakening”) +Thank You πŸ’•

Have you ever wondered WHY this whole concept that a spiritual journey MUST be a lonely one where you loose all your friends and give up all you belongings?

We must be careful of the types of narratives we inspire to be perpetuated. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?” Or what doesnt kill you HURTs and you turn your life upside down trying to cope the best way you can? 

This concept that people must be lonely, or alone is kinda…… Counter productive. Of course we all have our moments, but there seems to be an extreme…. An imbalance. 

My hypothesis is that it is divisive much like everything at this point to keep us from growing together and strengthening our bonds as humans.

Actually a “spiritual journey” should not be lonely. There should be human knowlegable watchers and safe guards in place. In western Kundalini communities these are called “safeties”. Just a set of points on what to expect, and I guess a genuine “guru” would be a watcher. 

I also feel it is my duty to look after a few people I feel a calling to or who suffer the same symptoms as I do. This includes mostly schizophrenics, entity possessed as well as “targeted individuals”. Because I think it is unfair for people to commit suicide over this crazy shit. Because they were not given the tools to survive or no one believed them. 

There is power in feeling understood. 

I also want to Thank those on this blog for watching me and reaching out to me. These is some insane shit on here but its what I experience. Thank you for not judging me and 1 like makes me feel like I was heard in my darkest moments. 

Things are not over yet. I don’t when that may be. But I want to acknowledge that we are not as alone as we think we are. A spiritual journey does not mean we have to drop everything in order to feel like we have accomplished some grand journey. We journey regardless. This sense of extremes are other forces that wish to play us. And the more aware and more living and supportive we are of each other the more we can break these chains. 

Thank you & I love you. You know who you are!