Ehwaz Rune

http://runesecrets.com/rune-meanings/ehwaz

Every so often the entity will flash some sort of symbol vision…. Or something. Prior to this one it was a pentagram …. Prior to that was an X which is Gebo which means gift in short . Few days ago it was this M which is Ehwaz rune means movement in short. 

I’m not sure if it is trying to play with my interests in symbols to scare me. Or actually trying to do some voodoo. The Entity also never really addresses them….. So there is a possibility that they come from some where else.

I also don’t see them play out in my life in any way. Of course the good shit wouldn’t. 

As I said before I like studying the symbolism and history or the icons, or images we use in everyday life. I mean even our alphabet is a version ….. So the fact that these symbols are demonized (lol even though the “entity” is using them) only limits us to fear. 

If you know who you are and your core beliefs then it doesn’t matter. Theologian read material that contradicts their beliefs. I had to read history in school which contradict my beliefs as well. Which is why I ended up going to a a college that practiced alternative pedagogy. 

ANYWAYS.

I’ve never seen “visions” like this prior to 2016 when thibgs got totes out of control.

Ah well. 

Clearing Energy

While the “energy” in my throat seems to have cleared. That means when I recorded it there were no radio static or blips. Also when I apply pressure I don’t feel the release as much. Also the strange rash that developed at the base of my neck cleared up. 

My vagina has not had the same affect. I felt the buzz and decided to record both areas but only had radio static sound in my vag. It only comes out when i record it, I don’t actually hear it myself. I didn’t try the top of my head, even tho its still kinda tense right now. 

Vagina is super curse. So lame. 😩😩😩

Why do I have radio sounds coming from my vagina?

Its like its crazy, but then I have all these confirmations that its outside or beyond me.

👑 Your Crown 👑

In the beginning of all of this. 

After I took the cleansing bath. 

The “Entity” said A LOT of things. I mean it still does. And I am usually sitting here with my head cocked to the side like HUH?!. 

Still trying to learn to ignore it because none of it means anything and even it it HAPPENS to make some sense by some mere coincidence…. Oh fucking well. Nothing was worth this experience and it was a waste of my life and time. 

👑 I was fresh out the break up in the summer of 2015, living with a friend, trying to keep my shit together. I was making sure to go to the gym more since I was bored and wasn’t biking to work as much. 

I remember this moment on the treadmill that I felt my head or what people would refer to as the “crown chakra” feeling it was “opening up”. I was a little worried. I had these strange “gong” headaches i even went to the doctor for, but everything came back normal. I was also worried that the IUD that I had gotten for extra protection with my ex was causing my blood pressure to rise and I went into Google Doctor mode to make sure. So I later got the IUD removed (as much as the doctors tried to convince me to leave it in). 

So this feeling on the skull that was just like my head was wide open. As I was on the treadmill had me a bit concerned. But I just went along and was pushing myself physically to stay healthy for my job.

In 2016 fell into the episode, delusion …. This “Entity” had already laid the grown work, prepped and groomed me. Already had attached this story line to my ex as my “twin flame“. As telepathy, the perfect cover. 

I was at my job and the “Entity” said in the voice of my ex, “Remember who gave you your crown.”

I had looked up why my head would be feeling like this. “Soul Star Chakra“…. “Halo / Crown”, ect… So many explanations. This Entity acting as my ex (“twin flame”) wanted to say he gave me all these things “crown” before being “initiated” and eventually “married” to my ex. This Entity wanted to “give” me all these illusions or hopes or whatever so it could take it away. And quickly put on what felt like an energetic “harness” to make me sit up straight and “act like a lady”.  

Another moment at my job, the Entity said, “she needs a new vessel.” Meaning, my soul, spirit needed to be in another body for my ex to love me. (Crazy shit I know.) But again this was grooming for the suicide it tried to force me into. Said I needed to, “Die for (my ex’s name) by means of child molestion”. So it was going to keep showing me sick images until I committed suicide. 

But things were sick, abusive, it didn’t stop…. It was constant…. It was crazy…. Scary…. Debilitating.

In retrospect, I realized that my crown wasn’t being given, but being taken away, or blocked as my life became extremely instable. 

I can’t say where it exactly began. But I know where thing got crazy. Which was 2016. Right after questioning and trying to stop this obsession with my ex that I did not feel connected to. 

I know I tried my hardest in all of this. Peeling back any delusions. And I will continue to try to resolve this in the best ways I know how. That’s all I got, with all I know.

But no this “entity” never gave me anything. Never will. Just some tricks and some lies, while it takes what it needs to give it self a reason to stay here. 

Illusion of Seperation

So!

Do not mistake “the voice with in” for channeling. Do not mistake your magic for the magician.

Often I believe that visuals of how we receive information. Stories, mythology, religious/ spiritual material, what people tell us, anything really.

How we receive this information may not be as intended. I mean the words are there. How its applied or filed in our system is another thing. 

We know our intentions. For the most part. 😞

Yea Yea Yea all is one. Ebb and flow. We effect each other. I get it. 

But in the spiritual community there are A LOT of imagery! We hold on to these in one form or another. 

For instance. “The voice with in” … “Your magic is with in” “contacting your “higher self””.

Why on earth would you be seperared? Fractured? Lost to find pieces of yourself in some dimensional hierarchy. 

What that is saying is that YOU are not perfectly made. Sitting with yourself means talking to yourself or something else… Some other part of you thats just been waiting for you to meditate?

No. 

People out here thinking they connecting with some divine God or Goddess, promise you that’s a big NAH. Promise you it ain’t your loved one that passed on. Anything will step in and give you comfort, meaning, a direction ….. For the mean time.

A lot of these concepts have this underlying tone that YOU …. YOURSELF aren’t able to make decisions for yourself…  Because you are separated. 

And if you think that….. promise something else will step in and start making those decisions or reconciliations for you.

I made that mistake. Not consciously. I wanted to know WHY did I feel different! Not myself! And it was because I wasn’t. I was being prepped, to be taken control of. 

You are not some little whispering voice deep down inside of you. You are not separated from yourself in anyway…. In this sense that the “higher self” is something to obtain through hours of meditation. It is making the best decisions for yourself/others. And being OK with and accountable for that. 

Now I mean for me…. As someone who has an “entity attachment” that has basically said it was every god, goddess, demon, alien, spirit guid, entity, cartoon character, loved ones passed and alive, even my fucking cat….. Anything under the sun. I can see where sitting down and shaking these “entities” off so you breathe and make a decision not based in anxiety. I get it. 

But please do not mistake your own guidence, your own feelings, your own true and whole authentic self….. For anything out here wanting to take control of your life. 

So lets groumd some of these concepts back into reality. Fuck that blue guy crumbling and being “rebirthed”. Fuck that orange and blue twin flame photo about divine love cause love does look like some flaming bird people. Its messy.

Believe me its easy to get caught up in the story. It could be anything. But don’t let anything catch YOU!

5am in the Morning

Before I fully woke up the Entity said “It is a gift from God to be expelled of negative energies.”

My cousin woke me up to help her dress a wond she got from a brutal attack last week. 

It wasn’t until I started fully waking up that addressed this statement made in MY head that God gave ME! 

So, negative “energies”; mental health, physical sensation, emotional ect …. To be are symptoms of an Entity. Their are also “positive” ones as well… Harder to spot…. But there.

Either way early morning sleepy head….. This Entity tries to ask me questions that will steer me away from God. Or denounce God.

Maybe I’m an entitle little shit to think that these Entities should not be able to contact people, or affect or influence lives to this degree. Of course I wonder why…. What is Gods plan…. And why we weren’t born protected. But again this Entity for whatever reason wants me to denounce God. And be honest has given me more than enough reasons to feel the need to do so.

But I thank God for my discernment…. I wish I would have come into them earlier. Then I wouldn’t have allowed the Entity to act as my loved ones in my life. 

You must really think your God!” I said to the Entity as I sat on the toilet. 

Kinda sorta maybe.” 

Not my God!“.

I want to be expelled of this Entity! Not the energies that go up and down my body, that rapes me, cripple me, scare me, scream at me….. I want to be expelled of the one who is creating it. Not the symptoms of what should not be there.

Either way that was my morning today.

Spiritual Forum: Do “Empaths” divide?


Someone made the post above in a forum

My Response: I think in the spiritual community we tend to be a bit vague…. General …. Visual…. So if someone shares their story….. Yes it may “attach” to someone. Not some evil black slithering smoke coming through the screen. But if one is not strong spiritually themselves YES they can also be triggered. I would rather someone unload their burdensome darkness…. Then read half the fake news with insane images that I can’t even filter seeing on Facebook alone. So let’s not silence each other and call it empathy……. Let’s not say our own tenderness…. Our triggers are empathic abilities….. Because empathy is allowing each other to heal knowing how much that shit really and truly hurts.

———————————

I know in a lot if communities for me that was/is the Queer community often “trigger warnings” were practices in mosts posts as we know not everyone has dealt with their truama or there effects. This allows for people to be both concious of others as well as open about their own trauma which I believe is a good practice. 

I tend to practice this in my daily life. For instance I’m not going to talk too much about death, or my views of death, or too many triggering memories about my grandma with my mom ….. But I will listen. I might pick another venue for that because I know she is still healing. And people heal differently and it simply take a mindfulness.

My blog is abrasive and unfiltered and a fraction of what I experience….. But I have to put it out there…. Not because I want to “spread my darkness” but to release myself from it.

And yes “darkness” can gain inspiration from anywhere. I know mine has. Especially from those I love so it can “hurt more”.
But this idea that Empaths need to be separated ….. Is … Divisive. It keeps us more separate. Being “Empathic”… I would assume means actually being empathic for other beings. And maybe as “Empaths” we/ or they need to really look at the anxiety and precieved triggered darkness that they “absorb” from “everyone”. 

How do they know this is not their own darkness taking advantage of that beautiful soul… To keep us separated from one another…. To silence us…. And in turn silence others. 

Just scrolling through a Facebook feed is a machine gun of triggers. I know mine. They are the same that is in this blog. No I don’t want to read that article with details of a rape victim. I don’t …. Doesn’t mean I’m less empathetic…. But I does mean I know my limits. At the same time I respect that persons ability to speak out…. Unlike I did… And realize it is something with in myself …. “My own darkness” triggering the gore of such a traumatic event.

Don’t let our “empathy” divide us. Take care of yourself…. But don’t let that cut us off from a world…. Don’t let our own darkness … Or fear of it silence others who are removing the shackles.

I understand the both sides of the coin. 

Soul Sister

So I met another woman on one of the forums who story is WAY WAY too similar as mine.

I almost wanted to cry. I mean I found people with parts or symptoms…. But the exact same thing never. 

Hers was very similar in the sense that it happened after a break up…. She thought it was from her ex because the Demo. Tried to act like her ex (very twin flamish). She’s stayed away from him. She thinks he cursed her. Them the demon told her he loves her but also tortures her. 

She’s knows she is not schizophrenic….. And the fact that our stories if not the words are all too similar is telling. 

I am both happy and depressed. That I fell for it. I’m trying to help her disassociate the demon from her ex because I am pretty sure it has nothing to with him…. I mean sure it plays off the relationship…. But the longer she holds that thought the longer one of the hooks are in. 

Its easy to blame someone else.

A person…. Someone visible. Tangible.

Yes there is this little part of me…. 1% that wonders once this Entity leaves if he will come back because I know I will never contact him. But that 1% could also be the demon….. Because I know I still have so much to worry about…. Like my family…. My livelyhood….. How to make myself happy again. Healing…. Health.

Frequencies and Vibes

Ringing in ears….. Vibes…. Everyone has there own level and experience with it… Their own belief…. And their own way of coping.

We say just let it pass through…. Its the moon vibes. Some say …. Its cosmic energy…. Solar flares…. Some say its other peoples energy….. Some say we are raising our vibration…. Some say …. Its entities.

Since this Entity has been here so long (since 15 y/o I am assuming and can recall) I’m having a hard time believing that it is just about ones vibrations…. Or the frequency …. But only the fact we may hear them.

Prior to this I don’t remember hearing that high pitch soft static electricity sound that changes through out the day. I do remember being in silence once and wondering what silence truly sounds like. I’ve heard the Entity occasionally…. And still no high pitch sounds.

So um unsure how this all plays into this experience with this Entity.

Vibes? I’ve been happy and upset…. For a majority of my life unquestioned. But as for the most part I tried to have decent “vibes”… Mood or disposition towards people and myself.

But it really wasn’t until my life went south that the Entity went in for the kill…. It was the break-up, the moving, the loosing a friend, my family having health issues…. 

But I’m not sure exactly what KEEPS it here.

The one consistent thing is that this Entity lies…. All day erryday. Sooooooo….. Even my own emotions or habits have become lies. They are false.

So…… What exactly keeps it here?

I know its not apart of my body…. Because it can see in other rooms or is conscious of things I am not. I don’t know if it needs my body to perceive …. But if it does why would it treat me so poorly. 

I mean I guess I can understand keeping me in conditions to maintain control….. But alive, that’s what sick psychopathic pieces of shit do. But if …. The Entity IS energy. … Then why tf would it need mine?

This whole concept of energy, vibes, frequencies and what we think thtese entities truly want are changing for me.

Why is it still here? 

“Robert Bruce 2 | Psychic Self Defense, Removing Entities, Angelic Guidance | EODR 37”

Kinda crazy…. Kinda interesting. 

When I was listening to this podcast they talked about “Remote Viewing” and I was bought to one of the days this all kind of sparked off December 25 2015. 

My ex (false twin flame) had send a general “happy Xmas text” and for some reason I instantly became faint and had to lay down. As I was laying down awake I had a vision of my Ex’s best friend (who apparently a healer) looking down at me and smoking weed. I had never had anything like this happen before. So I started looking it up. That’s when I found that it may be possible for someone to “remote view” you through a crystal or third eye. So I kinda freaked out bought some protection crystals and went about my life.

If someone was remote viewing me…. Why would I remote view her back? If this woman is a healer why would this situation decline to such a derogatory state? If both my Ex and his best friend did anything why would they even reveal themselves to me or let me know they are doing it? If you are trying to rock someone world remotely I would only assume you would want to keep it a secret. 

This Entity needed people and a story to hide behind. And unfortunately this is probably how people loose their ever loving minds and flip out and hurt people. Fortunately I’ve maintained my cool…… Considering.

There was also a part of the podcast that talked about generation/DNA Entity attachments. Which I have also tested this theory. I was completely honest with my parents about what I was hearing and neither my mother or father ever experienced it. I think my mom might have had an altered state once when she was reading the bible. But nothing like THIS. Also the Entity knows very little about my family members and any information is from my own knowing. Also memories from my childhood are piecemealed and distorted. So say for instance I remember the feeling of the day I woke up early in the morning to go play in the fog because it felt magical…. The entity shows the image of me from an outside perspective so I was seeing myself… I remember seeing my feet on the concrete trying to run over to the grassy area. The rest of any details were made up to make it seem like it had been there this whole time. Which it has not.

So nope….. No twin flame vengeance, No generational curse, Def no past life bullshit….. And I have NO idea what would warrent this as Karma…… So what is it?

Plain old evil…. Using whatever lie to get you believe its real and the more you believe its real the more “power” it has…. And can position itself in control. And ultimately take your precious life? Or worse someone else’s?

It saddens me if it is this kind of tourment that drives people to hurt their own kids or loved ones. Believing they are demonic…. Or whatever else sick craziness that an Entity can come up with to trick/ force someone into doing something horrific.

I have to figure out how to get rid of this thing. As I’ve said before there are plenty of people who willing play with Entities so I don’t understand why its staying here.

This is the Voice (afraid to leave)

If you noticed I have used many titles that may play out in our heads as the song or phrase. #justsaying

Sooooo….. The entity started sounding like my ex twin flame more often now….. Again. If it doesn’t try to sound just like him, or flash an image from his Facebook about him, it like anytime there is a deep male voice on the TV the entity tries to associate that sound with him. 

After that thought (if passed by) it is re-realized …. Often it will replay it or say his name… It then puts that anxiety in my chest ….. That tremble. And I must try to stop “responding” even though the response is false. Even though the realization is false? Even though he (my ex) is not here? Even though he may never know the ways in which he was impersonated by a demon? 

This Entity is afraid to leave. 

I don’t know why its afraid to leave. But it is…. Or it would have by now (as much as it says it hates me and wants me to die and it hates being here, bla bla bla). All it does is hide and lie. There is no need for the truth to hide.

There is no need for the truth to hide, be mysterious or complicated.

Either way…. Just another way this thing tries to attack me. False…. Since it can no longer ignite a genuine and natural response from me.