Spiritual Abuse πŸ”ͺπŸ”«πŸ’£

There is no reason to be spiritually attacked there is no excuse. That’s like a rapist saying she asked for it because wore a short skirt. Fuck THAT!

Victims of spiritual/astral abuse will blame themselves. They will say, “I deserve this because I lied when I was 12 years old” or something just as ridiculous. We seek peace and that’s the easiest route than grabbing at air. But we seek NOW. Dwelling on the pasts on shortens our time in becoming the person we wish to be the best versions of ourselves. 

Our capitalist system says “you are not enough!” , so by this product and subscribe to this lifestyle. Spirituality /religion says you are not enough, you didn’t pray enough, you did something bad, some past life bullshit generational curse, that you didn’t meditate enough, that you didn’t eat organic enough. In relationships, we feel like we aren’t pretty enough, or doing enough or have enough money or enough love or trust. 

So it is NO WONDER these astral parasites …. Spiritual abusers go on to say YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. You’re ugly, fat, skinny, stupid, crazy, no body likes you, you have no friends, kill yourself, no money, you are not good at what you do, you don’t know what you are doing, you need our guidance, unlovable, unworthy, you’re an addict, you will never understand, you don’t have knowledge. 

You will never be enough, when you are! 

I am a complete being. I have my own “dark” and own “light”. I grow as needed. Forced “darkness” or this bullshit “dark nigbt of the soul”, is abused pushed by astral parasites. Saying it’s because you did this or that, that YOU weren’t enough is excusing this program and act of spiritual violence. Finding peace and “learning from” the abuse is the gift we give ourselves to cope and to heal. We weave stories of some past life karma, a curse, blame ourselves. “This happened to me because…………….” 

Outside of that we are excusing unseen and intangible abuse. By subscribing to this idea that pain is our greatest teacher, is superficial and more than likely you never been in a full blown psychic attack.
You are saying our current system, all system are fine as is and should operate and function with no change.

This whole you “change your reality” is bullshit. You know how hard I’ve fought?!? All this law of attraction, most people want car, money love. I want the change, justice, peace, safety for all people! 

NOTE: The demon suggested pain and my smoking cigs (cause you devils advocate). Now do I know smoking is bad? Yes. Do I wish to change that? YES. Do I think I should be raped everyday by some demon for going on two years? NO.
Whatever. But I’m the crazy one.

Fuck this demon! 


Crazy Talk: Jelly Monster πŸ‘»πŸ’”

So I can see the effects of the demon, I can feel them, hear them, but I can’t see the actual demon that’s conducting it. 

I believe that many healer are able to remove the effects but not the actual entity. Maybe some can. But none of the ones I went to. 

So, I see this jelly monster (looks like a clear slimmer) that moves around me. I state previously in my blog that, I don’t think this is the entity but the “energy” it sends kinda like and extension of sorts it copies. Its not easy to see but I see it. I think its the same “energy” that screams repeatedly, mimics other peoples voices and music, repeats what I say, the gives me tremors and that can copy cat emotions like anxienty or headache, intense tension, feeling ill, being high. Prolly other things too like images/vision. Almost like AI intelligence toy, but its not the main and I feel like its being controlled. 

Today I was wondering HOW did the entity pull off things like knowing when my ex (false/ twin flame) was going to call, or what song he was going to send me, when the cat took my chair and I wasn’t in the room. And a few other “prediction” or plain old’ nosiness. 

Either way. My assumption is that this jelly monster was being nosey with my ex or attached to my ex. Something maybe like that. And that’s how it copied his voice and knew info. Some people call it “attachment cords” this one looks like a clear jelly vibrating blob thing that moves around at medium speed in and out of vision some times sparkles if its close by like on my head. But then I’m like how the fuck did the jelly monster get to the edge of Brooklyn? Like it legit floated 20 miles?

πŸ’©πŸ‡πŸŠπŸš†πŸš„πŸš…β“‚πŸšˆπŸš•πŸš˜πŸšœπŸš βœˆβ›΅πŸš€πŸšβ‰

I hope my ex wasn’t harmed in any way. In the beginning I did so many “cord cutting meditations” because I just wanted whatever this was gone. I blamed my ex, i did. But I kept away from him so this demon wouldn’t make another game out of it. I’m pretty sure he is OK and doing fine. But if he went through a fraction what I went/ going through….. I am so sorry, even though none of this was my fault. I never sent ANYTHING to him in any way. Only trying to get through my own heart ache to move on.

Either way. That’s my theory of the jelly monster I have been seeing floating around the house or stuck in the bathroom. 

Crazy shit right? πŸ™

God……….  Why did I have to get the crazy one? 

I feel like I need a blunt and I don’t even like smoking. 🌴

Thieves in the Temple πŸ‘‘

If God wasn’t a loving and forgiving God do you think that these evil things would exist?

For whatever reason all creations exist as is ….. And have the choice and opportunity to evolve past its “nature”. 

What we currently think is our nature is conditioning. We could be living in caves…. But we have “evolved” to houses. But some how racism and sexism and sexual violence ect is just seems SO FAR past our reachability over the say million years.

It is the same as these Entities. I’ve said this before. If God wanted to wipe out these Entities with the snap of a cosmic finger God could. If they are from the firery pits of hell,. .  .. Then why are they here, or how do they have access to humans? Maybe these were lies we were told. Maybe humans were told this lie to keep them from committing “crimes” or “sin”. Sin is only relative to the human experience. So what laws do “Entities” have to abide by? Cause they seem pretty lawless to me. 

Clearly everything exists with in its nature. And to some extent I have accept that these Entities exist with in their own nature. Not something I personally want to observe. But I am currently forced to watch. I do NOT have to accept them as my own nature unless they choose to actually do so. And that is a major deception that human beings must evolve past. Understanding what is true human nature and what is not. 

I would assume that Entities have the same opportunity to evolve with the limits of “free will”. That is a choice they must make for themselves individually and as a whole.

I have many thieves in my temple. Telling me I’M the thief, when humans are innately self preserving. Whatever it is that they are here for, it is not theirs to have.

Maybe I’m too logical for this world. 

Flashing Lights πŸ‘½πŸ‘»πŸ”¦

Aight so I’m over here minding my own biznesses, reading and pondering this schizophrenic life. 

I read two articles one I posted here about recording the voices on someones throat and concluding that the voices ARE in fact the schizo subjects own thoughts. (Which cool they can record, not cool jumping to the conclusion that its their thoughts).

AND another article that basically stated that schizo is caused by a defect in the brain and lack of fat in the brain as well.

So I’m over here just doing me and critically thinking about  the articles I read and how they may apply or not apply to the situation. 

One thing that came up for me is stroke victims. Many stroke victims temporarily loose the ability to speak, as well as think. So how does schizophrenia apply there?

Either way minding my bizness, and a HUGE flash of bluish white light flashed over my body, and I heard it too. Lol sounded like a quiet lazer gun. Lol. My body got hot, but not like a heat hot like an electrical hot. I don’t know if it was my nerves or the actual event. I mean I’m aware but at this point, not much shocks me. Well maybe trump. Idk. Anyways, I’m super confused as to what it was.

This was the first time it was so close to me. I have seen flashes before like that but they were further away. This was like max two feet above me.

I continued my nerdy schizo thinking. And also kinda secretly hoped that what ever it took this voice away. But alas …… It didn’t. The voice sounded quieter, a bit more far away. The voice kept saying, “shut up I’m getting made!”. I said, “what you gonna do shoot me with your laser gun again?”

Part of me wants to smoke weed to see if will either turn up or turn down. I will be honest with you, I “abused” the hell out of benadryl….. Just to get to deep sleep because I thought there is where I would find healing. Its all in the name of healing.

I don’t know if the entity is putting on a show or really leaving that’s why I want to smoke weed to make sure.

Either way that’s my update. 

The Dream 😱 

So have you ever noticed how dreams don’t make sense?

We try to make sense of them and yes there is “subconscious” material in there but in general we search for meaning.

So as a kid I remember having a dream twice that my mom was a mummy and secret agents where chasing her and I was trying to protect her. It scared me. 

Now as an adult I can see the connections. One my family gave me a bunch of Egyptian books and toys (Lol I thought I was going to be a archeologist but instead ended up being more interested in anthropology) AND two, mommy and mummy are very similar words. It’s really that simple. BUT the fear that was placed in the dream of loosing my mummy was unnecessary cause I would wake up nervous and scared.

There are many other dreams some make less sense. So make more. But all in all in they are pretty random pieces of our day, lives, something someone else said, something we read and we look for the symbology from the pieces we remember. 

To me there seems to be a direct correlation between this experience and dream states. These Entities seem to communicate in visions, symbology, riddles, rhymes, code words, fears or fantasy.

That’s why none of this shit makes sense. In a way I may have added fuel to the fire by being frightened AND by trying to figure it out.

My “seeking” only found more trash online to weave into this trash overlay superimposed dream/illusion story even if I wasn’t totally conscious of it.

The dream, symbology, the fears, the illusion seem to be all a distraction from who or what ever is making these interpretation. Cause it certainly ain’t mine. And it certainly doesn’t make sense.

So its like the dream world, the world of ghost and goblins. The world of nothingness and imagination both co-exist has managed to find its way into my reality. To influence outside of the dream. To direct. Directing my visions of dreams was not enough. These entities needed to move on to bigger and better productions called my life. 

The logic behind the why or how is beyond me. I just keep finding to evolve “what is happening to me”. 

Either way. Just dropping some thoughts here. 

Targeted Individuals πŸ‘€

If targeted individuals are in fact being targeted through EMF and electromagnetic frequencies……. Why don’t we see like an Aurora Borealis around them…. Me.

When I close my eyes I do see some crazy stuff. Or even eyes open. Like the sparkles, flashes of light, floaty light swirls, circles of light, globs of energy looking things, different colors. So there is THAT aspect. 

But if I stood in the middle of the of an Aurora Borealis would my brain get zapped? Or body buzzed or burned?

Lol would it be the cure and cancel it out?

I can’t imagine why an “Entity” would need to “feed off my energy” unless its a metaphor for just being acknowledged. Otherwise the earth has plenty of energy to “feed off” of. 

So ……………… …………….. DF?

Tale from Earthsea (True Name)

It’s funny the Entity wanted to give me/ force me to take on the name Isis because it was a mythology I read as a child. I had strange children stories when I was a kid. One was about a coconut tree and the other were ones from Egypt. My uncle went to the University of Cairo so there was always this element as a child.

Either way the Entity would always scream “She doesn’t even know her name!!” “What is your name?!” “Do you even know who you are?”

At which point I would say my birth name along with my social security number and address cause I didn’t give a fuck anymore.

There is a story about how Isis tricked Ra into giving his true name in order to take his knowledge and powers. There are various versions of this but more less that was it. (I didn’t learn this until much later and didn’t know she was so……. aggressive.) 

I read the bible a little bit in church. But I always try to fact check because people love spinning the the bible to fit their hatred. When this all started I the Entity tried to act as my mom to force me to read the bible. So I started and when I did the Entity started reading ahead of me calling me stupid, burning my vag, and just being a psychopath as usual. But the visions and torture was enough to keep me from praying and reading the bible.

At that point, I decided to keep it simple. My faith in a loving God and a prayer in my heart. Those two things I walked this whole way with because things where getting too complicated. I mean they still are. And I hope that God would understand. I’ve always been an intuitive learner anyway. I remember reading history books as a child and being like naw that don’t seem right. But thats just how I am. I am use to gentle lessons and “knowledge” that comes through a deep understanding. 

Either way. This Entity still keeps going on about how its God, and how I’m learning some lesson, like it got something to teach me REALLY. And can’t “wait till you see”… bla bla bla. I wish I had a mute button at least. 

So I watched this anime movie “Tales from Earthsea” (image above) which soothed my weakened heart. I really love the work of Hayao’s son Gorō Miyazaki, who did “Spirited Away”. They are just really beautiful, calming sweet tales. Bake a whole batch of cookies, make some hot coco, curl up in your favorite PJs and just watch this beautiful 2 hour flick. 

In a FB group today just now someone asked about information “The ones with no names”, so I googled that and the word spiritual to understand what it was all about, and came upon a beautiful bible verse. 

So it all related to my experience as well as to the beautiful movie I watched as well as this beautiful bible verse that just came up. To have a name only known between you and the True God. How precious is that?!

Granted not everything comes like many writings say. Awakening is not a DMT trip (well… It’s a trip but not an Alex Great painting) , and the “name” you receive from God will probably not be on an actual white stone. So we just gotta be chill about things.

Either way. No I have no idea what that name is. But its just such a beautiful thing to think about in this world where everything …. Including religion….  Has been tarnished. That no one could tarnishish the name the signature that God gave you.


With this Entity/ Schizophrenia it is always easy to get wrapped up in a storyline of sorts. This storyline is a distraction because its a game, a play for this Entity. And for me it is my life. The only one I have been given…. With so little time here. But there are special moments…. Messages, and symbolism that we can can cherish. So I will remain grounded in who I am and know myself to be…. While appreciating the many facets that I have organically come across in this experience. 


Reason + Relief + Remedy?

I wish I had answers for this experience. Reasons…… Or a remedy.

The world is so confused. Bad guys profit…. Good guys get discouraged. 

I mean people are in forums saying Jesus is Lucifer. Its like wow.

We are just so confused looking for answers to the lies we have been told or reasons why clear solutions in our society have yet to be enacted.

I know I am more confused now than ever. Someone in a forum said all “LightWorkers” are Lucifatians … And must be approved by Lucifer. 


Mean while, many light workers work in the name of God and Jesus and or many other deities. So….. If they thought their lives work/mission or ability was genuinely bestowed upon them by God and not Lucifer, how does that work out?

I am in a few groups only because that is where I can find people who have similar experiences as mine. So maybe I can understand it better or find ways to relieve it or cope. Otherwise I would be going about my life and personal mission/goals. 

So. Its strange. It’s just so confusing when it really doesn’t need to be. 

Can you imagine what we could get done in the world and with in ourselves if we were able to get over blockages? We weren’t so confused about the details and who benefits the most?

I still have faith in humanity…. 

I realize that a lot of my doomy out look is because this Demon Entity Voice won’t shut the fuck up and leave already. So I am unable to fully access my joy and be myself with out being rudly interupted at every precious moment. 

I’m growing impatient with myself. With this message 24/7 non-stop experience. I mean even some of the others I have spoken to don’t have it ALL DAY even in their dreams. Like usually there is a trigger or a period of time…. Random. But ALL DAY and night conscious or sleeping.

Its insane. I surprise I can function even at this level. 

1111 is a Curse

As someone who started see the “wake up call” 1111 around 2011 and was already involved in my own lives mission, I have come to believe that 1111 is a delusional curse and less of some spiritual psychic phenomenon.

I am sure many have found this to be a pleasant experience for themselves, but I have not.

There is a sense of mind control through both beliefs and experience. I while we may entertain this “idea” of having angels with us or developing abilities never really sure…. We are also falling victim to a delusion that which seeks to control the minds of those who question or are simply naive.

Maybe its generational not in the sense of my family but the generation of the masses. Those living at this time.

All I know is that my life was needlessly upheaved and mocked by Entities beyond my full perception. There is no reason as much as I would like to reconcile. 

All it seems to take is seeing the numbers to then do this dance through bullshit information on the internet of 1111, twin flames, black magic, aliens archons, angels, and whatever else lies on the outskirts of fake news.

Maybe it popped up on your timeline feed and you read it as entertainment….. Maybe you applied twin flame to yourself just to get over a break up. Maybe you were told to make a wish at 11:11 if you saw it. But soon these ideas fanatasy becomes a delusion of sorts, facilitated by the curse of the world. 

I can’t name it. Demons, aliens, “angels”.

All I do know is that it is bullshit. A distraction that will over power your life if you got that kinda time to waste.

You can choose to keep your belief and story… Which if experienced is yours. Or you can choose to drop it. Dropping the story is …. Uncharted territory. There is no guided message. Its scary as fuck. Nothing applies to you. Nothing is reflected but past memories of how you got here.

Its up to you.

The Concept of Schizophrenia Coming to an End (article)Β 


The concept of schizophrenia is dying. Harried for decades by psychology, it now appears to have been fatally wounded by psychiatry, the very profession that once sustained it. Its passing will not be mourned.

Today, having a diagnosis of schizophrenia is associated with a

life-expectancy reduction of nearly two decades. By some criteria, only one in seven people recover. Despite heralded advances in treatments, staggeringly, the proportion of people who recover hasn’t increased over time. Something is profoundly wrong.