Paranormal Trends

So like………………………..

what’s good?

I spoke about this before in my blog, but many of my guy friends who experience “hearing voices” or demonic experiences believe it is Targeted Individual Mk Ultra stuff covered up by the government.

Like before that it was aliens.

Before that was ghosts.

For that was spirits and demons and angels.

So like what’s really good?

It’s can’t be this many people. And like no one in the whole wide world knows what the heck is going on. When I thought us was some conspiracy the voices rolled with it. When I thought it was demons they rolled with it…… reluctant to roll with the reptilian thing but whatever they fit the profile. Whatever it is they have found a way to stop this shit?!

You know much this shit hurts!? Physically mentally and emotionally!?! Like damn. Like seriously I have felt like my brain was going through a grater. I have been electrocuted. Like damn.

Shit all I wanted to do was be boo’ed up eats some organic fruits and veggies and like live honestly. Shit.

And now I’m out here in the astral plane playing dungeons and fucking dragons and shit. Waste of my life.

They did not tell you this shit in the Bible. They said shit happens AFTER you die. Not while you are living.

So freaking lame.


Being Schiz is bad for the Economy

Being schizophrenic is totally not good for the economy unless you are Medicaid and taking their $350 a month drugs that don’t work.

Otherwise if I wasn’t demonically possessed schizophrenic I would TOTALLY be working paying these worthless student loans and traveling and buying shit, I’m way over due for a new pair of leggings. But oh fucking well.


Guess I will just lay in this bed battling demons all day as they fill my body with their dense Co2 hoping that they go away.

Creating Spaces: My Magic

So this popped up on my timeline from 2014. Prior to being attack. I have always had an installation arts. I love the idea of having “adult” spaces that brings out the inner child like wonderment. Where you can just be. Or not be.

I also was able to practice this a little bit running a farmers market. There were parameters to it but essentially it was about creating a fun, cultural, family like atmosphere around health.

We had live music, dance classes, cooking classes, gardening classes, tours, contests, giveaways, volunteering. Every Saturday you knew you were going to see a familiar and kind face. A friend. That was part of the magic, the give and the take. The interaction. People left with a bag full of beautiful organic vegetables but also left with memories …. skills…. feeling good.

So I always thought about these things in a grounded ways. I spent long nights before our 8am opening to make sure everything was perfect. That people were going to have a good time and those who were performing (vendors, artists, chefs, interns) had all the tools to do so.

Magic takes work. But it’s worth the memory.

I’m still interested in installation arts. But requires money space. I’ve already priced out one installation and it would cost a lot. Although when I’m not being harassed (rarely) I will mull over more cost effective materials but again with out going too far from my original dream. Mine. No one else’s.



It’s a great passion of mine. Especially after working on issues in this world where people and corporations are so ugly and greedy. You just need some beauty in your life.

Some day when these Entities leave.

Hell Matrix

First off fuck Winston Churchill for being a racist.

But I remember this quote popped up on my Facebook feed years ago. Encouraging me to wade through the struggles of capitalism and interpersonal relationships.

But little did I know it could be SO FUCKING REAL. Like shit …… I didn’t mean that shit literally.

Now I see demons and reptilians and shit all day. Hearing some voice that won’t shut up and desperately wants to be human but comes off as psychotic. It’s a lame existence.

Either way do you have a choice?

Reptilians Sleeper Triggers

“I have found that the DARK, their minions (Reptilian hybrids) and “Unawakened”/“Sleepers” tend to be triggered if one mentions:

– The 144,000

– The Chosen ones

– Twin Flames

– Highly evolved spiritual beings

Their 3D mind misinterprets. They think we are being narcissistic- when nothing could be further from the case. (Empaths are complete opposites from Narcissists). There may be “jealousy” or “resentment” felt, but they do not understand – there is NO “superiority”… There are however those with more experience. Those that already graduated. We are the souls that VOLUNTEERED to assist Mother Earth and humanity at this unprecedented time of Ascention. We heard the clarion call and we answered. We hold the highest vibration of LOVE and we wish to assist planets and their inhabitants to move into LOVE SPACE (The 5th dimension and beyond) with our FREQUENCY. We are experts at being “system busters”. 👍

They don’t realize that we have had the hardest lives of all. 😞 We did so willingly in order to be of service. ❤️

They have and will continue to attack us. They fear what they don’t understand. Lightworkers, stay strong and stand in your power -no matter what they throw at us. We are SO close…It will all be worth it.

😇🙏❤️” – Michelle Krebs Lagerquist


I mean things didn’t “calm down” until I actually hated myself. Like I hate being attacked everyday for two years and forced to see child abuse if I don’t do what they want.


Told to “Go home!”.

I never thought of myself as special. Just someone who struggles like the next and wants to make it a little easier for you than it was for me.

I have no super power other than my undying love for humanity. My faith in God and that some day we will be free.

Other than that, I’m just an average snowflake activist, who can’t bare to see the world go on like this. But positioned to t compromise my beliefs by working against a system while my tax dollars fund many things I do not agree with.

I’m ok with being average or basic.

Two feet firmly planted on the ground. As both average and majestic as a tree. As needed.

But this woman’s post is true soon as twin flame came into the picture this reptilians demon thing lost its ever loving collective psychotic mind. Still does. Still wants to act like him some days too. Even was trying to get me to be “attracted” to reptilians or it particularly. It gets real twisted in these parts.

I can’t believe this is my life.

Voices Snapshot

I noticed my mom seemed kind of bummed out. She’s not the kind of person to tell her emotions so I figured just do something.

My first thought was to maybe tell my dad to do something nice for my mom via text. But then I realized I didn’t have my wifi number anymore. So then I thought I would get her some flowers, even though flowers seem lame maybe they will cheer her up. The voices quickly pounce on me.

Voice 1: I’m tired of this pedophile incest bitch……

Voice 2: what’s wrong with getting flowers for her mother? (This “voice of reason” recently emerged when I stopped fighting with them both. Really I don’t trust it and it’s no different than the other)

Voice 1: (screaming) Die bitch. Your mothers going to die.

Me: I can’t believe I actually have to listen to this shit.

So because I wanted to do something positive and nice I had to hear about how my mom was going to die for little bit after all of that.

I later proceed to go out and buy my mom flowers with my last $10, just to cheer her up a bit. She does so much not sure if she wasn’t feeling appreciated.

On Energy Vamps

“The Vamps replicate positive attributes from the light of their victims, copycatting and broadcasting a false image of awareness while simultaneously draining them privately. In order to do this, they have to replicate and mirror back to the Gnostic that they are like you, that they are on the same spiritual path as you except that they are not. They are copying and projecting the infinity mirror within the enlightened being in order to trap and feed.” – Joshua Anderson


There are so many ways to look at this situation. And almost all fit. But none have remedied the situation thus yet.

So one could pick any way of speaking about this pain. Mine just happens to speak back and doesn’t shit the fuck up. Many paths are available. I can’t say which is wrong or right. I would assume the one of least harm.

Trying to keep my calm and 0 point clear thought (me) and a forgiving self at least not blaming anyone in my life for this cause I can’t prove that and I don’t know for sure and it doesn’t matter now. All that matters is healing.

Awakening and Rites of Passage

What is the difference between secret societies and say spiritual communities.

My mind rolled through so many things. Mainly culture and consent.

Much of what I know from like secret society there is a level of consent that is broken. Usually Hazing. But in spiritual communities a person is prepared through teachings for a journey.

I had both and neither. No spiritual meme on the internet could have prepared me for awakening, no scripture for the hazing of schizophrenia.

I guess not until you are actually there. And by then ……. preparation doesn’t matter.

If one no longer consents to their awakening or cultural “rite of passage” does it stop it? Do you even have that right? What happens after? Do our journeys become less rich because we wanted to tell our own stories?

Is wisdom only experienced?

I am saddened by how much value we give pain in our society. “No pain no gain” “sacred wounds” I have even heard the term “sacred abuse”.

Pain happens so much in this body. To the point we learn to overlook the pain. We can say the same thing for collective body as a people. Humanity.

We overlook our pain. The times when things were not ok but we just kept going. We didn’t address it out of fear, or properly treat it.

So when will our rites of passage be the one where we get to tell OUR stories. Actually tell our stories. Free of reactions to your pain inflicted.

Beyond reckoning or reconciliation.

True creators.

Soul Mate: Marriage 💍

So my soul mate of 5 years (not false twin flame)……. I always thought we were going to get married. I mean it wasn’t like a big deal there was no pressure.

As most young couples we test the waters of home life and the first day he moved in he said “we married now” I said “oh real!? Where’s the ring!?” He said , “it’s called RENT!” We both laughed I was shocked at his boldness, slight disrespect but that shit was funny and real.

It’s rough out here in NYC. We would lay in bed and dream about what our wedding day would look like and as queer couple we never thought it would be recognized by the state so it didn’t matter. I would be the white peacock and I would design his suit made from the intricate design patterns on a peacock. Also it’s ties to Ochun and incorporating it into the table settings and into the wedding cake.

But after he had a car accident and I carried us through financial, once he got better he wanted to be polyamorous again and I didn’t want to hold him back.

I said it was me or poly and I could mentally deal with being poly at the time. And he chose poly. I was upset but I was ok. I think the amount of love we shared made it easy to let go. It hurt. But that was the only person I thought I would ever marry and maybe the only person I’ve dated that I’ve trust. lol And I still got my heart broke.

I’m glad we remained friends. I didn’t know how to explain to someone I was currently dating about an ex (soul mate) I was unsure of or if it was even an obligation. We had broken up about 2 years prior and still would see each other here and there at an art event and shared a phone plan at the time cause it was cheaper.

Either way I’m glad we stayed friends. I value both the time we shared and him being in my life. I recently took a huge step back with with him because of the schizophrenia, I didn’t want to feel like a burden. I mean nothing has changed. I want to enjoy the time I have with my friends at this point to be better. But I don’t know if I will ever reach that point. But I’m not in a place to be totally objective.

Well at least I don’t think I’m Isis reincarnated and I’m suppose to commit suicide to obtain a new vessel to have another life with my twin flame (false) Osiris. It’s been a long way. A painful one.

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