December Intensified

So tonight I was looking at a gift for my friend. For whatever reason the Entities made me sleepy. I didn’t fight it. I pick my battles, sleep is not one of them.

So I woke up to a voice saying “he got hit by a car”, I assumed this was my ex (soul mate not false twin flame) because before we broke up he got hit by a car and I took care of everything. That’s why I was so shocked that he wanted to see other people (be polyamorous) all of a sudden because I played that wifey roll HARD. Anyway so I was awakened by that comment and only assume that it was about my ex but I can’t say for sure.

Then I was looking into the darkness with my eyes closed and I could see these Entities floating and spinning around. And one like SHOT out of my direction like it didn’t want to be seen or wasn’t suppose to be there. And that one almost looked like it swam off. Then I saw another one close to me. I could see their features more ….. umm a bit more 3D as opposed to a flat image I normally see. And then one of them took their straw thing and blew some black hairball mass (sorry best I can describe it) into my eyes to cover up seeing them. I was maybe 10% out of my cool only cause I could see them REALLY clear and bright. Might of been about 3 of them for sure. Maybe more not sure.

This week has been intense. Just more sparkles, migraines again, more seeing the watery clear misty energy around me.

Like this shit is hella fishy and something is not adding up.

I mean they purposefully woke me up right? So why would they make it seem like I caught them doing something to me (which was probably making a pointless Dream)? But I mean if you know you are going to wake me up out of my sleep then I would assume that you would handle your business of covering your tracks if you don’t want to be seen.

Be honest I don’t care either way. But I’m not playing this bullshit game. I’m just logging it here for me.

So they put me to sleep, only to wake me up maybe an hour or so later, to act like they accidentally revealed themselves to me and do their little blow straw thing at me at my actual eyes or third eye to hide themselves?

Shit ain’t adding up!

AND I have seen many different types of Entities so far but all of these ones today seemed the same. So I wonder if they are just wearing costumes. Again, why would they completely reveal themselves to me? It’s just one lie after the other after the other why wouldn’t their appearance not be a lie too? One thing that seems to be consistent is that these Entities have a ring around them. This ring I almost feels like it may cloak half their body or up to their head and helps them move around. Idk I could be wrong. But that’s what it looked like.

I can’t believe I can’t find anyone I can really bounce this shit off of. I listen to a lot of different people who actually talks about this stuff. But again they only have part so far. Or I would have to pay money to have a convo with them about this. Or our theories don’t align at some point. Which is fine. But I mean idk.

Heeeeeelp!!! Lol

What Dreams May Come: Dreams, Visions and “The Astral Plane”

So let’s start this off with….. a healer that I watch said we can call back our fragmented consciousness but just stating this through meditation. So I did that (hey why not I just want to get rid of this!) and then I’m laying in bed and I had a REALLY bright vision of a Latino man, and h said “this her landlord, it’s time to go!”. The more silent voices (or what would be deemed as (false) subconscious thought) tried to convince me this was Jesus. 😳 lol yea I know.

Now I’m down for Jesus. But it’s crazy shit like this that makes me feel like this is just a big joke. So I was aight Jesus told you to go…. GO!. Go with Jesus. I just observed to see what was happening and of course the voices/entities had to put on a big production because believe it or not they are absurdly dramatic to the point of comedy. So I sat their waiting to see if “Jesus” took these fools away. And I had to sit there listening to them scream as I try to fall asleep.

So, Jesus lol did not take them away and they just was playing out a play and playing in my mind because their existence of just floating around in space is miserable I guess.

Another reason I know this vision wasn’t Jesus is because 1. It hurt a bit and 2. It jolted/startled me. I think if Jesus knows me and is my “landlord” He would not have hurt me or frightened me. BUT this vision was the brightest I have seen in a while. So my assumption is that it is a different entity. The one that is with me constantly over the last few years since this attack started is very dark and dim. Even the dreams they make are dim or darker tone than I am use to. AND the one that is here all the time i mean is CONSTANTLY giving me dreams and visions. I mean so selfish enough to wake me up 2-3-4 times a night to keep me in the REN cycle so it can play in the dream state. POS!

While most will say that dreams are “subconscious material” I beg to differ and I honestly think NOW that dreams are just a lower level form of Entity control. A more acceptable form. Same thing as visions. Again I have not encountered a truthful Entity as of yet. And to me that is an indicator of SOMETHING is not adding up.

I’m not going to blindly accept any vision as Jesus or Buddha or “my spirit guide”.

The way my pastor explained communication with God and His Son Jesus/ the embodiment is through the Holy Spirit. So the Holy Spirit must be an Entity as well. A conscious being that is more or less omnipresent. What that actually looks like I don’t know, he that actually plays out I’m not sure.

I do know that whatever this is that is attacking and harassing me are 1. A hive mind. Literally connected to each other to communicate (repeats what I am saying so other entities in the hive can know). 2. DO NOT look like anything I would imagine is heavenly. Or human. Some mix between alien, demon, disembodied astral being mix. 3. Uses light as an illusion to create vision and dreams. They can manipulate light in a way dark or light to create an image that they want in OUR minds.

So wonder what would they be with out our minds? Our physical hardware? Who would THEY actually be if we did not perceive them?

I know my opinion is not popular. People want a supernatural life. Either through God or New Age spirituality. I just think many don’t understand what it entails.

Again I want to be wrong. But I am not being proven otherwise in my experience. BUT my experience does not dictate my faith. I can still maintain faith in God with out necessarily believing that the hand of God will part the clouds and be this actual physical manifestation. I guess my main concern is that the enemy. These demonic alien troll looking things that harass me, are actually duping many of us into believing THEY are God.

NOW, I today’s age we have all these YouTube “prophets” and Gurus. Like they communicate with angels or God gave them a message. Like I want to believe people. But idk. Something is not right. I mean I feel like a lot of people preach from their judgement, from their political beliefs and not necessarily from doctrine. Regardless of ones political belief they should just allow for people to understand the word as sound spiritual doctrine. Not go off on 30+ homophobic rant about how the Gays want your kids (which they don’t). The gays want people to stop killing them. And the only way to do that is to create compassion among the youth and adults for people who are different then them. Essentially keeping actual gay or tran or kids who are perceived as different from being bullied, beat up, killed (by kids or parents) or pushed into suicide and keeping perpetrators of this none sense out of jail. By just accepting people for who they are. Gay is not the gateway to pedo! They are not mutually exclusive and they are not the scapegoat. I mean conservatives are trying to paint Democrats as pedos in the spiritual community. I’ve posted this in my blog. People were saying in spiritual forums which some how became fake “woke conspiracy” community, that Hillary Clinton is a pedophile and a video of Hillary wearing the skin of children on her face in a ritual will surface soon. Think whatever you want of the elite, rich and or powerful. But that is CRAZY. And it’s propaganda, it doesn’t even stem from anything anyone has ever seen.

11pm: I took a break from writing and now I am back.

I guess where I was going is that people prophets or gurus who are talking to these Heavenly Beings. I just wonder sometimes if they are just being mislead by entities. Nothing feels spiritually safe anymore. Just lies. Or if it did have purity in the essences of its message that these entities have now over shadowed the concept or belief with lies and twisted shit.

Idk. I really feel like I’m out here alone. No strong footing on anything really. I have my experience….. one I wish wasn’t as really as it feels. One I hope is not true. I look to others in hopes of answers, guidance ….. something outside of this experience. To be pulled from it. Like not even Jesus can or will save me. Why would Jesus want me to be left out here in these spiritual streets with a pedo demonic alien troll thing? Be raped? Faith in question.

Idk. 😓 bummed.

Celibacy and (Astral) Sex (rape) Dreams

So there is a connection between these Entities wanting you to have a sexless life or a loveless sex life. I can’t say why for sure because honestly they rape and molest me often. But I am celibate.

I am personally am grossed out from my (“spiritual”) experience. And that is what sparked my celibacy. Well that and I could not find and enlightened partner. Not enlightened in a new agey ascension kind of way. But self aware, accountable, aware of these energies (entities at play) and not afraid.

Coming from being a lesbian to then dating men was a huge culture shock. And I feel like these Entities have a strong hold on our men/masculinity if not completely driving them.

Why would Entities want you to be basically single (again celibate or loveless sex)? How does that connect with harvesting sexual energy from you? If that is what they actually do…..

I feel the key factor here is love. Or the lack there of.

I have a relatively high self esteem. I know myself and my intentions and can stand accountable when I am wrong and at least attempt to fix that in a sincere way.

So I love myself more or less. But I am NOT loving this experience.

But still the Entities are able to infiltrate my body and cause rape dreams. Molest me through out the day. Place sexually gross ideas in my head. And again this is just over the past 4 years.

To what end do they actually benefit? I know a lot of people in the new age community talk about “Looshing” (you can google) of sexual energies. But like at the end of the day I’m like HUH? What exactly is sexual energy? How does astrally raping me produce it? More importantly how do you stop it? Like now?!

This is why Twin Flames is so dangerous. Again, celibacy is a huge part of it. Many empathy (or the chaser or the feed) are encouraged wait for their “twin flame” and be celibate, in the mean time many are being energetically attacked or having complete psychotic breaks and fucked up astral experiences. So again how does the “twin flame” story correlate with these Entities agenda? Sexless? ✅ Loveless? ✅ Energetically attacked (mentally or physically or spiritually)? ✅

This allows for like all these “twin flame” gurus to pop up out the new age. But again…. where are they getting their information from and do they know their employer is?

Either way. I saw a correlation between these few things. And we need to keep having conversation about these things and get the fuck out the rabbit holes. Because I mean unless you got time to waste, ain’t shit down there.

If there is a man hole open down the street, and I’m telling you hey open man hole ahead, and folks wanna be like well I wanna jump down the man hole for the experience…… really? You could have gone further down the road. Met other people. New people. You cold have helped someone else who can’t handle being in a man hole (suicide).

Either way. Fuck all these traps.

“The Second Coming of the New Age” by Steven Bancarz

Part 1

Part 2


While “Mindfulness Meditation” did help me when I could not stop the voices from speaking a mile a minute. I went from a peaceful mind to full on demonic attack in 2016. Being an “observer” in mind when this happened was positive in the sense that I did not attach to the actual voices. I know what is me and what is not me. I am the one writing to you, occasionally the voices may make a suggestion here or there while I am engaged in my writing to make it seem like they have control, or as they just said “have nothing better to do”. lol yea…..

So Mindfulness Meditation helped (me) in the crisis, and differentiating myself from these Entities that want/ed to pretend to be me or anyone else.

However the New Age really slipped into my life through the internet, facebook.

I mean the first was seeing sparkles through my twenties and some website said it was Angels. and I was like aight cool. Then it was the reoccurring numbers (1111, 777). Then it was a couple of kookie articles about light workers and how we are star seeds and indigos, Then another article popping up on my facebook about twin flame and 1111. Again i read these articles with no particular belief in my heart (other than God), but these seem to have played out. Then the twin flame thing supposedly happened. AND THEN MY WHOLE LIFE TURNED TO SHIT (which is well documented in this blog).

What is interesting is that I actually studied and was deep in Ifa/ Yoruba (Nigeria) religion and its relation to Santeria and Voodoo in the Caribbean for much longer than I did any of this New Age stuff. I studied it in trying to understand my cultural history as a Black (mixed) person in America. And where I come from. But for some reason that never played out. I had 5 year relationship that meant the world to me, and yet my supposed “twin flame” was the 6 month relationship that did not have the same significance in my life other than making me feel insecure.

So why with very little influence or depth in my life was the New Age able to penetrate so deep?

Our culture (American) is definitely moving towards a New Age culture. Steve called it the “Starbucks Yoga” movement. And I will not sit here and say i did not idolize false Idols. I had a little alter to Oshun in my room for YEARS. Other than the sparkles and maybe one bad dream, I NEVER was attacked like this. (I can’t even get into how aliens and reptilians slipped into the whole hot mess!)

But I will say this Ifa, is IFA…… Ifa…. is not mixing and bastardizing the name of Jesus for its own occult practices and lure. To confuse those that are ignorant. To mold Jesus (and any other deity) to fit their agenda. Which I would say is worse because that is just straight blasphemy. I mean light workers… are just …… white witches? No? Be it light or dark magic it is still the same occult coin no? You are still working with the same energy just with different intentions. But these energies which are actual entities and deceitful beings. At one point or another.

Anyway. These videos are pretty good at breaking down some things. (Doesn’t touch on twin flame, or targeted individuals) but, New Age is hella complicated ….. and has you chasing “ascension”….. and deep in my heart i feel like its really not suppose to be this complicated. There is a clarity when you let go the New Age.

Steve mentions that most of us are looking for a relationship with God. And we get lead astray. The relationship is simple. It’s a relationship with God, through Jesus by way or the Holy Spirit. Do you know how sinful and dirty we must be to have to be twice removed from God? His own creation? The ones that chilled in the Garden of Eden with God? The God that only the Holist of Holy men were reserved to have a relationship with and yet God still found a way through his mercy and grace that we may still know him in SOME WAY.

That alone.

Now, i mean my life is nothing but reptilians and big headed aliens torturing me. BUT still to think about that is amazing. I mean even through my studies I was protected. I mean i would really like to stop being molested by these entities, and told the most vile stuff in the universe. But as I said before in another post they are the contrast. I might not have the Holy Spirit, but i know what is doesn’t feel like.

And again, just like all things… even Christianity pose false understandings of Christianity.

I really wish it wasn’t this complicated but it is. Because the enemy (reptilian, alien, demon WHATEVER) is out here trying to get us anyway it can.

It’s sad really.

Either way enjoy.

Cliche Matrix trick?

You remember the twins from the Matrix? I was watching the Matrix reloaded on Netflix just for shits and giggles. And I realized one of the entities that has harassed me looked like one of the twins from the matrix.

Like that flip book choppy look and hair flying everywhere.

I have not seen that one up close in my aura in a while but this is the best way I could describe him. Head mostly.

Everything is such bullshit.

Black Girls Missing

I’m in the doctors office trying not to ball my eyes out. My Facebook feed has been nothing but young black girls abducted or raped and I just can’t keep it composed today.

I already pray for the protection of our children.

But then I wonder if I should pray for the transformation of those that would harm them 😭😭😭😭😭😭

It takes a strength that I’m not sure I have. I’m not sure what kind of prayer I would even craft to be effective. Or if it even would be. Human child trafficking is BIGGER than me and my thoughts and prayers.

I mean it’s a LOT of young black girls. And it honestly seems like an uptick in the last year or so.

Should we pray for these wretched people? Is that the key to this? Pray for the enemy, even though we know they may not be the true face of the enemy but a fleshy puppet for these demons to play games. Twist the minds of the weak. Generations of weak minds.

Is that the key?

That one child (15 y/o) that was abducted and sex trafficked was actually found!!! Which is rare and she was so fucked up from all of it she committed suicide.

It’s killing me.

Pray for the enemy? Pray that the demons that infest their mind be cleared and realized? That they turn to God for salvation?

Is that the only way to keep our children safe?

Cho Cho Train frequency energy

At my house and my best friends house I keep hearing something like a cho cho train.

There are no railroads near my house or hers.

Actually at her house I keep hearing like a low or far away sounding amber alert / flash flood warning.

So I feel like it has to be energy/Entity and or frequency.

I can kind of feel it in my feet if I stay still enough.

But I’m not sure what this energy is or why. It’s bee for the past two weeks what seems randomly.

Just making a note.

This is what I have been saying in this blog for 3 years

Many spiritual people don’t know what they are messing with. Even when it’s “good”.

In the Bible it says even gods elect will be fooled. I was fooled but quickly (maybe a year into it) was like things aren’t adding up here.

There is probably even another layer to the bullshit.

But I’m so over this.

I’m glad she at the end apologize for ever sending or harming anyone cause she didn’t know.

Fuck the matrix!

Gods voice through other people.

It’s so important to have loving people on your side when you are going through spiritual warfare.

I might not hear the voice of God because the dumb demon Entity voice won’t shut up about the same things. BUT if you have loving people who are on your team and know how to check themselves (meaning when the devil is trying to play games they are aware enough to check their actions/words/intentions), God uses them as a sound speaker for his word and encouragement or I would like to think so.

So this schizophrenic life got me neck deep with demons. And I ain’t afraid. And I gave up everything to peel the bullshit layers back. And I will be peeling even more back once I go into fasting mode.

But I have been blessed to have people routing for me by my side through this.

And you know what, if this is happening to you (spiritual warfare) then you might not have known at the time but God used you to uplift, encourage, help someone who the devil was trying to devour.

So, Gods there.

Just not sure he won’t remove this nasty thing. But I am gonna keep on walking. Trying. Praying. Hoping.

I hope this blog as crazy as it is….. at least made someone feel not alone. Was able to connect the dots of the devils tricks. To get a grip on reality. And wake up from the multiple illusions.

So when I couldn’t see God in myself. I am thankful enough to see God in other people.

Examples of Matrix Superimposed faces

This is an example of the super imposed matrix shit I saw on the New York City skyline.

I’m not sure if this has always been and I’m just waking up to it. I don’t know if this is a matrix joke to get people to believe in SOMETHING. idk if this is a take over, but something is up. And people are feeling it. And it doesn’t feel life giving but vampiric, controlling, psychotic.

People will praise it. But I don’t trust it.