Some Truths About My Experience

1. The voices have gradually (i mean really slowly) over 3 years have become lower in volume with or with out medication. It went from a concert amp in my brain to maybe that of conversation level/thought level volume. This included zaps becoming buzzes. Ect. But there are still occasionally the bursts of very loud voices or electrocution.

2. I transended the storyline of Twin Flame. Even when i still didn’t believe it, i made the choice it still played out but it is not as every 5 seconds a thought about my ex like it use to be. Occasionally there might be a thought. Or hey i might bring him up when talking to my friend about relationships. But what these demons where doing was abuse. I rarely react to their negative intrusive thoughts about him. Or how he is better off with out me or how we are suppose to get back together. Or some twisted thought. I feel as though through hard work of the mind and standing my ground in my belief i transended the twin flame game.

3. Targeted Individual. Now the demons kind of started off with targeted individual/thought broad casting/ gang stalking only this was being done more on an astral and semi on a physical plane (if that makes any sense). It started out with my ex and then my coworkers. Then all of new york city and thats when i said this is impossible. Once i quit my job that aspect stopped a bit but i didnt have the language of targeted individual. More recently a started researching it more as i gained more insight and as i did….. Guess what the demons did…. YOU BET! Gang Stalking. More physical this time. So im on the bus or street walking and someone is holding up a cell phone or passes by me and these demons are trying to convince me that they are gang stalkers following me. All they while before that was not on their agenda. But NOW all of a sudden it is. That is how desperate they are for a storyline and a game to play.

As much as i can identify with both Twin Flames and Targeted Individuals i believe i have trancended these points of view and these games of the mind. I was blessed (if we want to call losing everything that) enough to spend a 2 years in almost meditation to really get to the bottom of why my life was spiraling out of control.

4. What i havent been able to transcend is this alien demon reptilian spirit matrix thing. It is what i see, it is what i hear, dream, feel. Being called vile names all day. It’s a plateau that i have reached. And i desperately want to shake it off like i did the others. I want it to be a lie …… Like the others. What ive seen. I want it to not be true. Seriously.

I know everyone has their unique situation. So they will peel away their own layer and also get stuck at their own plateau. And i hope eventually transcend. But thats what makes it so hard for us to come together ya know? But i respect each persons path only to share mine in hopes they can shed another layer of this bullshit. And maybe help me shed another layer of mine.

This is just such an awkward place to be in. I have my standards. Im standing my ground. Firm. I refuse to lower my standard to just accepting my life with these demons as normal. I will not stop. I will find other ways. I will keep praying. I will strengthen my faith. I will keep researching. Keep being a big mouth. I dont care. Having ghost aliens rise out of my belly and being raped by demons every day is not a normal life. It is not a quality life. And shit there are people who would probably like that shit so i dont know why they are fuxin with me.

I dont need a title of 144k or light worker or a star seed to know i am a decent person who cares about people and the planet. Thats just a lulliby to my tragedy. This shit has to stop. I spoken to tooo many people about this. Way too many people. And those are just people who are open about it. It has gotten out of hand. Thats just our spiritual life. And we expect our reality to change any time soon? When we have innocent people trapped in their homes afraid of everything because the slightest interaction will get them raped or electrocuted by demons? Its out of control. Until we start being honest about our spiritual lives how we going to chang the physical? I pray for my brothers and sisters who are suffering from this i really do. Like actually.

Im trying to keep the faith. Just some random thoughts.

Energy Healing & Entity Removal Work

It’s so funny whether i pay or not. Pay a little or a lot. Amateur or seasoned professional. These healers have all gave me an excuse (usually throwing something i told them in my face) as to why their healing session did not get rid of this fucking disgusting voice/ entity like they said it would. No refunds either. Not even a thought or a kind gesture of any kind. I mean regaurdless of my story or belief system, if they have a service they should be able to just pluck that sucka out like the ticks that they are. Right? My whole blog is dedicated to how much i hate this situation and trying to keep whats left of my sanity in tact. And some fake ass healer had nerve to say I have stockholm syndrome and i am in love with the abusive entities. I’m glad everyone out here telling me what I AM including the entities and NOT doing what they need to be doing which leaving (entities) or removing (healers).

It is really disheartening.

So many people willing to call Christianity a con but New Age is a con job too. Maybe even worse as they offer themselves as the alternative to religion with so many paid services. I mean if i cant help someone i would just tell them and tell them why or my limitations ect so they know its not shade.

I know these people arent malicious. And maybe they drink their own kool-aid. But the placebo effect, if you will, is not working on me. I was in a life or death situation with these demons. And all i could really do is hunker down in my bed for a year or two and just take the beating and spiritual, energetic, astral, etheric, cosmic, whatever abuse. For reasons I really don’t know, because these demons lie all day. So idk what the truth is really. And if some “healer” is channeling any information from them they will only be cyphering lies.

This is so frustrating!

I need to talk to management! Shit is out of hand! 😔

Targeted Individuals: I’m So Special

Soooooo I don’t mean to be an asshole. And I hate to be that guy……but I hear a LOT of TIs saying they the 144k, tribe of Israel, elected, past life goddesses, twin flames, earth angels, alien star seeds, shamans, prophets like YA’LL really need to get your shit together.

Like I really WANT to believe these things but my heart and eyes are showing me something different.

Yes you are special …… but maybe not in the ways you think. You don’t need super powers to be special to God.

Maybe just maybe these demons are playing with you to make you feel like you are special in these supernatural ways because they want to twist your mind and belief to lead you astray from God. You think your super powers are coming from God but really it’s the network matrix of demons.

In psychology I believe that is called grandiose.

Maybe there is something in our lives that allowed these demons to infiltrate our lives. Trauma is also a cause as well. But I know these demons didn’t pop up until I started questioning shit. Like the way I felt. Or why I was reacting to certain things the way I was. I was resisting arrest. And since they couldn’t play at low level they turned all the way the fuck up. But I mean I’ve done some things that probably allowed them in my life in one way or another. Do I think it’s fair NO. But I have to accept it to some extent.

I honestly did not think all of this would lead me to this path. Like I really want(ed) to believe we have super powers and elected and God sees me past my flaws and mess ups and the good work I’ve have been privileged to do. BUT there is this feeling that these demons are 21st century PLAYING US for FOOLS!

I’m not one to condemn or to preach end times fire and brimstone. I am simply sharing my current truth. One I wish wasn’t my truth. But is.

I have to trust God will correct others path as needed. I pray it is gentle. And not the harsh reality I come to face with.

Stay humble! ❤️

New Age and Appropriation

Yo the New Age spiritual community be killing me sometimes.

Like years back it was all about Native American culture and how sacred it is…… And everyone wanted to discover their native roots. Everyone was all of sudden decendants of a native american Cherokee princess or had some sweat lodge spirit journey. Get your turquoise necklace or earrings and boom. Its all gravey.

Then it was Buddhism. And finding your zen and wearing similar clothes. And Tibet and like eat pray love bullshit.

Then it was hinduism and yoga and veganism and meditation and aligning those chakras and now you have all these online Gurus making bank.

And now its like they are talking about 144k and the bloodlines of Jesus (what?! 😳). And the 12 tribes and the tribe of Judah and black diaspora. This includes both the exhalation and demonizing of Egyptian culture and its reltation to the bible or occult or whatever remixed belief system they follow.

Love and light that shit, smack the lable of God/source and some Arch Angels on that bitch with some occult bubble baths rituals and you got the New Age.

Like seriously the New Age is Columbusing the fuck out of different cultural spiritual beliefs for their own rewards and not giving a FUCK about the wellbeing of those cultures/people because the reality is probably just “too negative”.

Like these culture have done eons of work and preservation of their culture and people and practices only to have predominantly white New Agers come in and profit off that shit online.

Like FOR REAL?! Yall for real for real with this shit?

I see through it! Right through it.

You care about the tribe of judah then start giving a fuck about police brutality and the mass incarceration of black people and the inequitable economic injustices that have brought us here.

Im so done with the bullshit. I can not seperate the historical and political facts from the spiritual because spirituality have gotten these different cultures through PAIN. A pain some online guru wont understand in a colonized world.

They just get to pick what makes them feel good from each culture like its the flavor of the week and leave out the rest.

Might as well leave it all to the alien chasers. Shit they appropriating even Aliens races culture like the Aucturians. Lol like damn yall gentrifying space ….. Places we aint even been yet.

Idk. My friend sent me a video link (im not going to name it but if you really want the link just ask and i will post it in the comments) and this woman was talking about the purification of the bloodlines and twin flames that are not pure wont have babies. Like fuck that whole bitch. Pardon. I cuss a lot, i like it, its poetic for me.

Thats just more of that that puritan culture bullshit remixed. Like colonizers get to mix with almost every culture and then talk about who’s pure? So done with this shit. Like it really enragged me to the point i had to be honest with my friend about it.

Just sharing my thoughts. Im sure its not popular because we are just “one race” and thats the human race right? Tell that to the children at the boarder who are dying and the families who loved ones are dead due to the racist police.

Love and light on that shit! ✌

To be honest with you (i wish)

To be completely honest …… I wish i was sold the lie. These demons didnt even try to lie very well. After the Osiris/Isis twin flame telepathy bullshit didnt pan out (posing as telepathy with my ex) they went straight for mediocre lies and then torture.

I mean beleive me. I WISH this mofo was my higher self, spirit guide, ancestor, benevolent alien sent to help humanity. ……….. I wish it was telepathy with my ex so i could tell him how much he made me feel insecure and didnt fight for us …… That these demons were using his voice to say i love you and i fell for it.

I wish this was some positive kundalini experience where “my chakras are activated” and my Soul Star is lit up and my health is intacted…… I wish i was the chosen one …… 144k sent to help humanity and these were the trials and tribulations that God put me here for…… I wish this was “the veil being lifted” as opposed to imposed. I wish this was “shedding old belief systems for the the collective”. In fact I GOT some new ones i would like to impose. I wish this was my ascension and NOT descension. I wish is was schizophrenia….. And the medication worked. I wish i was a warrior that wasnt tired.

There were so many options. But the torture remained. It hurts….. Its difficult to breathe sometimes. …. I feel this painful demons attached to my head or chest and or vagina sometimes my butt/spine. Waves of electrocution. I wish it was cosmic attunement.

I see them in my house. I see them attached to loved ones. People on the street…… In some peoples photos.

I wish i didnt see them. I wish I didnt stare at them long enough to recognize them now …. Because im useless. I cant help anyone. Telling someone they got a demon on their head aint gonna do shit but plant the seeds of paranoia for these demons to play with or for my friends to stop fuckin with me. All i can do is give testimony to those that are suffering and struggling.

I wish this was enlightenment…… All i did was awaken to a nightmare.

Targeted Individual: EMF Radiation Reader


If you read my blog…… You know i can see this “energy blobs” with my eyes. They are not easy to see and like to hide because they are fucking cowards.

They like to attach to a spot stationary. They will look like a shadow blob or a misty clear outline of sorts. Usually you can see them if you ….. See sparkles coming at you from a particular direction. It you see sparkles more than likely there is an “energy” there. This can also be attached to people. Normally shoulders or above the head.

NOW i went up to one of these energy blobs both in my own kitchen and in my best friends apartment and tested them with an EMF reader app that you can find on GooglePlay store and that shit shot up to 90+.

On the average my body is immiting 30 to 60 for whatever reason but one day i saw it down to 10 once and was like wait a minute!

So whether this is etheric technology or demons …. Inorganic beings. They is radion coming from them…. And not even my electronics in the house are emitting that. Like not even the freaking microwave. I checked.

I wish i could better teach people how to see these things but you can basically find them in your house with an EMF reader app essentially.

I have also seen these energy blobs move around the house and turn to the side because they are essentially flat…. No thicker than carbboard i max.

I have also seen these energy blobs turn into either a lit up OR a dark outline of an “entity” to try to scare me.

Im not sure what the next step would be. I have confirmation of sorts. I even have photos of some if you look in my media gallery.

Any suggestions or ideas as to how to get rid of them or documentation or anything would be helpful.

New Age vs. New World Order

I definitely fell into the New Age community because at the time they seemed to have answers for many of the strange experiences i was beginning to have. Seeing sparkles and flashes of light, dreams, “spirit” communication, visions, seeing “angel numbers” all the time 1111 to just name a few. But…… As soon as my experience took a left turn into a schizophrenic nightmare i was called crazy, dark, not of the light, negative ect by people in FB groups. And honestly those are things that me nor most of the people who know me.

I found that this was how many dealt with people in the spiritual community when someone was having a “spiritual crisis” or an entity attack if not that the basic elemantary suggestion of a salt bath and white light was prescribed to remedy the situation.

As i read on many of the posts. I found a great deal of many religious beliefs melded into one. Calling on Jesus and goddesses …. Metaphysically opening of the “third eye”….. Beliefs that the aliens were here to “help us grow and ascend” to the “new earth” or 5D as well as occult stuff.

Is was all one big tangled ball of beliefs. And while i originally come from a mindset of respecting everyones belief (with in reason), i also had a difficult time accepting Christianity as one i WAS queer and two i lost faith in the church when i was a kid when our pastor raped a 14 year old and everyone still accepted him as the pastor. Not to mention wars.

But i have come to terms. I can belueve in Jesus and God and the word and not necessarily be “Christian”. Im ok with that as apart of my current path.

A few problems i have with the New Age is the appropriation of peoples culture and beliefs with out much respect to the actual people. They use dieties and rituals and practices with out any regard to the depth of understanding thst goes behind that. Each symbol, each diety, figure, practices, food, holiday ect.

With that…. Much of the New Agers talk about “all is one, one is all” or “we are all connected” or “the veils are being lifted” …. Promoting telepathy and communication with “the other side”. Most are ok with the lie. The other side of “the veil” is fucking scary! Do you know that. Its absolutely insane and scary. But they are apart of this world. They are everywhere and NO irs not your deceased grandma Sally. Its a demon playing GAMES.

Now all these demons are connected. They have telpathic communication networks of sorts. And so the demon or some call it “a familiar spirit” that has been hanging around you or your family will tell a psychics demons all you want to hear. So you keep playing and paying.

All is one….. The melding of religions and beliefs seems soooooo….. New World Order-ish to me. One world one government one monitary system one belief.

These demons are out here melding belief systems to keep you confused. Half these people do not know what they are playing with. They THINK they are playing with angels but if they revealed their true form you would probably be shocked. And thats the lie! You really think Arch Angel Micheal is speaking to a thousand basic ass bettys on youtube? Right!

They are playing up “the event” and people think the aliens are coming down or a new earth 5d paradise will magically appear. Dudes? Really? If everyone believes this shit just enough….. When that veil actually comes down they can play whatever they want. Aliens, new messiah, ect. They will have officially dooped everyone because everyone believes in everything and we all sitting here confused as shit.

Im done with the game and lies.

You know what a 3rd eye opening is? A demon sucking on your shit feeding you useless visions, dreams, and suggestions. Mind manipulation. And you fell for it. I did too……. Of course i wanna talk to my ancestor or an angel or whatever…… But that aint them!

Just cause you got the bright side of the New Age rainbow doesnt mean your shit aint dark. It means you are naive and gullible.

Keep playing!

Targeted Individuals: 144k : Special? 🙏

I’m probably going to get some shit with this but I’ve ran through enough of the spiritual community and i will say this right now, people are out here playing on trends to get money or fame.

First it was like alien abductions and ghosts like back in the day right, then earth angels, past lives as kings and queens and gods or goddesses…. then lightworkers and indigo children then rainbow crystal children ……. Then it was starseeds alien dna. Then it was TWIN FLAME and holy union and once everyone jumped off THAT shit show of a bandwagon, its then 144k (God’s chosen) ….. And i mean yo! ….. Thats not naming all of the trends. With in the “awakened” community.

I have found that more men seem to be talking about the 144k than say women who spoke about twin flames.

Maybe im not impressed because im a regular degular ….. No special super powers other than a big mouth and some skepticism.

Like everyone running around here wanting to EXTRA EXTRA special. People out here thinking they are straight up prophets because of this 144k trend. But like 2 years ago people swore they were the goddess Isis in a past life….. Or Jesus and longing for their narcissistic twin flame to come into union.

Like dudes have you ever wondered if this is all the Devils LIES to fuck with your mind and inflate your ego?

I dropped COINS on “spiritual services”…… And honestly no one has fixed my situation….. But they took my money that is for sure. They may have UNDERSTOOD my situation being demonically targeted or a twin flame or whatever it is but no one was able to fix it and thats why i went to them. I didnt need a hug….. I needed for my body to stop burning! But these are lightworkers that are suppose to have special powers so why didnt it work?

Honestly the explanation that i heard about the 144k was that it was actually the innocent children that they killed looking for Jesus (here for the video). That made sense to me for some reason. That those children will rise up as like new angels and be in God’s spiritual army. But many think its the rapture of 144k and the current bloodline of the 12 tribes and like souls will be sucked out the body and sent up to heaven. Uuuuummmmm Idk. Im just saying. Children are special and to me it makes sense that the innocent children that were slain in the name of Jesus (Gods son) rise up as angels. But what do i know?

Honestly most of the people out here are DEEP in not just their ego but ALTER EGO. I mean if it gets you through the day to think past life you were Isis or Jesus or an Angel …alien… Ect i mean go for it, but recognize it for what it is. Honestly people always called me an Angel and i let that shit get to my head when these demons were attacking me.

So i am open to being wrong…… I honestly know for a fact these demons will play both sides. God, Devil, Alien, Angel, Goddess, telepathy, Government…… Whatever they can convince and confuse your ass with. Its a slippery slope playing with energies you dont REALLY understand or knowwhat they are. You don’t have the eyes to really see them. And if you do ….. The devil is a lie and illusions are real. I have seen the same beings (negative) turn into bright lights (which i think we associate with good ones) and have seen the same ones turn to the blackest black to hide in a corner. So….. What can you trust?

While I identify with the targeted individual community as a shared experience……. I am having a difficult time saying its because i am a Twin Flame or a Lightwoker or 144k. And i am not that paranoid to think its the government. I mean but if the government wants to watch me wipe my ass all day…… That’s their issue. I just need the dial turned down on the fryer.

A lot of that stuff is distractions from our eyes being on God and giving praise. I am not going to even lie….. Like im seriously struggling feeling stuck in the demonic torture situation and i talk aboit it a lot to cope. But im trying to talk myself out of the ego and the bullshit…. And just want to get back to joy and being of service to humanity and growing in God.

Just saying. Be careful out here. Keep it simple keep it pure.

Judgement Day (Again) 🙄


Remember in 2012 every one thought the rapture was going to happen? And these pastors were taking advantage of people who were giving aware their money to stay in Gods favor?

So I actually like the woman above’s videos she’s pretty raw, BUT, as much I want to jump on the coocoo train to raptureville I guess i would say discernment first. So ONE there are religious demons, that LOVE end of of the world, humans kinda vibe. I got one I should know I have the receipts ☝🏼! They cause religious confusion but more so more than ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD they LOVE to CONDEMN. For things done and never did! This in turn makes US judge others. This is different than our natural judgements. But in our hearts we want to wake people up with our words we want to save souls and that is admirable.

Love is an action.

I previously wrote in my blog that condemnation on further isolates the individual, allowing the the demon to use them at will because that person is not being EDUCATED. Real conversation, honesty, testimonies, educations, coping methods.

Point is these religious demons are something else and I don’t trust them. And while I want to believe some day I will have a relationship with God before I go I do not trust just anything anymore. As I said these are the same demons that pretended to be my grandparents, or telepathy with an ex and even God.

But if it’s God you know. I doubt Jesus would say “God dammit bitch…” but hey…. I could be wrong.

So I guess I am worried that these beings demons are at it again. Did the twin flame game, 1111 game, rapture game, lightworker game, witch game, and now let the JUDGEMENT games commence!

May the odds be ever in your favor, but the WON’T because every thing will be the opposite and every mistake will be amplified to the 1000th power and on replay for years.

Fuck that!

Something is not right there.

Below Pastor Mike Todd talks about this from a more biblical perspective not personal. Funny that both these popped up on my feed with in days of each other.


Extra reading on 144k not related:

Reptilians Sleeper Triggers

“I have found that the DARK, their minions (Reptilian hybrids) and “Unawakened”/“Sleepers” tend to be triggered if one mentions:

– The 144,000

– The Chosen ones

– Twin Flames

– Highly evolved spiritual beings

Their 3D mind misinterprets. They think we are being narcissistic- when nothing could be further from the case. (Empaths are complete opposites from Narcissists). There may be “jealousy” or “resentment” felt, but they do not understand – there is NO “superiority”… There are however those with more experience. Those that already graduated. We are the souls that VOLUNTEERED to assist Mother Earth and humanity at this unprecedented time of Ascention. We heard the clarion call and we answered. We hold the highest vibration of LOVE and we wish to assist planets and their inhabitants to move into LOVE SPACE (The 5th dimension and beyond) with our FREQUENCY. We are experts at being “system busters”. 👍

They don’t realize that we have had the hardest lives of all. 😞 We did so willingly in order to be of service. ❤️

They have and will continue to attack us. They fear what they don’t understand. Lightworkers, stay strong and stand in your power -no matter what they throw at us. We are SO close…It will all be worth it.

😇🙏❤️” – Michelle Krebs Lagerquist


I mean things didn’t “calm down” until I actually hated myself. Like I hate being attacked everyday for two years and forced to see child abuse if I don’t do what they want.


Told to “Go home!”.

I never thought of myself as special. Just someone who struggles like the next and wants to make it a little easier for you than it was for me.

I have no super power other than my undying love for humanity. My faith in God and that some day we will be free.

Other than that, I’m just an average snowflake activist, who can’t bare to see the world go on like this. But positioned to t compromise my beliefs by working against a system while my tax dollars fund many things I do not agree with.

I’m ok with being average or basic.

Two feet firmly planted on the ground. As both average and majestic as a tree. As needed.

But this woman’s post is true soon as twin flame came into the picture this reptilians demon thing lost its ever loving collective psychotic mind. Still does. Still wants to act like him some days too. Even was trying to get me to be “attracted” to reptilians or it particularly. It gets real twisted in these parts.

I can’t believe this is my life.