Twin Flame: GhostBusters đŸ‘»

img_2721

So I saw someone read an old journal entry about me thinking that that one these have been around me all my life and it wasn’t my ex’s fault. (sorry its really bad writing i was going through it). Trying to take accountability. Which I do, to some extent. I take accountability for bugging out lol I mean I as much as I can for the circumstances. But I uncovered as much as I can with what little knowledge I have about these fucking demons.

So while thinking about the fact that they jumped my innocent godson for no reason whatsoever. I now go back and think that maybe not all, but the really bad ones come from my ex. Again I have never been attacked like this in my life. To the point I can’t move some days. And I’m on stupid fucking meds that don’t work. And even my doctor is saying I’m completely sane. But I’m having this insane experience. I’m so close to showing her this photo.

This isn’t a photo of the main one that bothers me but an example of them.

These demons said they were bored with me and needed “a mother play” and then said they would “she (my bestie) needs a man play” because they thought that would get me get me out of the house. and then like a week or two later my best friend got a boo piece. and i don’t know if her demon/ angels playing around with mine but i would never want her to go through with what i went through. But i know i saw a little demon on top of my godson head and he was bugging out. i know i saw entities at the children park too lurking around as well. which was HELLA creepy to the max. My friend who removed the demon from me and my godson said he couldn’t find who or what sent the demon to us. hmmm….. so ….

So these demons are like jumping around trying to attack me and anyone I love to make me feel like a curse so I kill myself. And thankfully I got my friend to remove it. Now I can’t say for sure if my ex did this intentionally or not but I am pretty sure it came from him because it didn’t start until we were about to break up.

IDK I’m just thinking out loud. waiting for a miracle. tired of this cursed life. honestly i dedicated my life to helping people and being there for people and i feel like this is a really shit experience. I never expected like a palace or much but my whole life ruined SUCKS BALLS! and i just don’t know what to do most days. like my friend really needs me to babysit cause im like the only one that has always done it for free (i mean she will give me a metro card or cook a meal), and spending time with my bestie has been healing for me as well like just getting out the house… and im like if they are attacking my godson what now do i just go crawl under my rock again? shit is fucking me up! at least i give a shit enough to attempt to do something about it. unlike my ex.

people out here thinking they are playing with angels. no boo boo take a closer look. i have seen them wear costumes. they have toys too like cars and something that LOOKS like and iPad but i can’t say it actually works like one. They use it for dreams and visions. they are fucking assholes.

This is is what they use to make you feel like your twin flame is with you. It is not your actual twin flame or their higher self. It’s not an alien. And Astral demon, that has was watched me get raped every day for years. So fuck all of them.

Why won’t God help me?! Why!!!?

 

Is this really my life? (Last night)

Im just complaining again.

I just see all my friend making moves having kids and wedding and successful careers and relationships and babies and going back to school just i am sitting here being pimped and raped and molested on the astral realm in the most vile ways ……….. alone.

The voice had the nerve to say oh i can go do something with my life. Well i was doing something with my life and it decided to show my vile images of child abuse forcing me to quit my job. And i am already waiting on disability. Because between the migraines, my body vibrating, my vagina being burned, the physical heavy energy of these entities amd seeing, hearing them non stop and feeling them I just dont know what the point of trying to take on any major responsibility if they will just attack me when they feel like making a bet of my life.

I tried to take on babysitting my Goodson once a week and that honestly wipes me out for two days after. And thats pretty easy stvleast easy compared to all of what i use to do.

I just hate this. And i am just trying to go through the process with some hope but after nights like last night…….. I dont know. I dont even know what the point of having a body is….. But then i remember others dont go through this level of intensity. Indont even want my body any more. Its just being used for vile things and thoughts and beings.

Last night i felt a very heavy very large entity trying to sitting on top of me. My groin area as usual. I didnt try to look at them closely like i normally do cause then they electro shock my system to simulate fear but if i was scared i wpuldnt have looked in the first place and they look like dumb cartoons ANYWAYS. But i didnt feel like being electro shocked in my system. And i told them to get off of me they are tresspassing. They are not welcomed. Get the fuck out of my friends house. I threatened to take a photo of the entity with my “longExpo” app on iphone that takes good photos of them, even though i really didnt want to do all of that. And it went away for a while and i tried to sleep again. Then i was awakened and i heard the main voice i always hear talk about money (like he use to with other entities at my house last year) and i tried to fight off the new entity and just knew at some point it was pointless. And it vibrated my body (some how weird visions of cats came into the mix) and the new entity made this wierd gross sigh of relief making me feel so gross and used last night. And other voice said something like you scared her (with the sigh).

Like not only do i have to be used by dudes in 3D i have to be used by these invisible entities in 4D. And i hate having a body now. I hate it, its pointless. It’s not mine to have. I dont want to be here anymore. I wish there was another planet i could jump to but i cant…. Probably doesnt even exist. No wonder everyone hoping for aliens to come down and take them mean while im not sure if they are the ones raping me so i am screwed either way.

And a friend told me this is “the highest honor” we can do for our people and stuff and im not seeing how being raped and used and literally like pimped on the astral is helping that. And like im gonna be a old betty talking this non sense in a senior home is that really the life i got to loom forward to? I worked so fucking hard to get out of homelessness and just be there for others when i didnt have much ….. And just do my best and work hard. And really? This is what life’s got to give me? Entity rape guised as schizophrenia?

Because everyone believe a good ghost story until its your best friend getting raped in another dimension.

Just OVER IT! I thought i was making some headway to be honest and last night was a reminder that they are waiting to pounce me at any given moment. Im fair game for some reason. EVERYONE ELSE is protected by the blood of jesus but my ass.

I really really really fucking hate my life right now.

Targeted Individuals: 144k : Special? 🙏

I’m probably going to get some shit with this but I’ve ran through enough of the spiritual community and i will say this right now, people are out here playing on trends to get money or fame.

First it was like alien abductions and ghosts like back in the day right, then earth angels, past lives as kings and queens and gods or goddesses…. then lightworkers and indigo children then rainbow crystal children ……. Then it was starseeds alien dna. Then it was TWIN FLAME and holy union and once everyone jumped off THAT shit show of a bandwagon, its then 144k (God’s chosen) ….. And i mean yo! ….. Thats not naming all of the trends. With in the “awakened” community.

I have found that more men seem to be talking about the 144k than say women who spoke about twin flames.

Maybe im not impressed because im a regular degular ….. No special super powers other than a big mouth and some skepticism.

Like everyone running around here wanting to EXTRA EXTRA special. People out here thinking they are straight up prophets because of this 144k trend. But like 2 years ago people swore they were the goddess Isis in a past life….. Or Jesus and longing for their narcissistic twin flame to come into union.

Like dudes have you ever wondered if this is all the Devils LIES to fuck with your mind and inflate your ego?

I dropped COINS on “spiritual services”…… And honestly no one has fixed my situation….. But they took my money that is for sure. They may have UNDERSTOOD my situation being demonically targeted or a twin flame or whatever it is but no one was able to fix it and thats why i went to them. I didnt need a hug….. I needed for my body to stop burning! But these are lightworkers that are suppose to have special powers so why didnt it work?

Honestly the explanation that i heard about the 144k was that it was actually the innocent children that they killed looking for Jesus (here for the video). That made sense to me for some reason. That those children will rise up as like new angels and be in God’s spiritual army. But many think its the rapture of 144k and the current bloodline of the 12 tribes and like souls will be sucked out the body and sent up to heaven. Uuuuummmmm Idk. Im just saying. Children are special and to me it makes sense that the innocent children that were slain in the name of Jesus (Gods son) rise up as angels. But what do i know?

Honestly most of the people out here are DEEP in not just their ego but ALTER EGO. I mean if it gets you through the day to think past life you were Isis or Jesus or an Angel …alien… Ect i mean go for it, but recognize it for what it is. Honestly people always called me an Angel and i let that shit get to my head when these demons were attacking me.

So i am open to being wrong…… I honestly know for a fact these demons will play both sides. God, Devil, Alien, Angel, Goddess, telepathy, Government…… Whatever they can convince and confuse your ass with. Its a slippery slope playing with energies you dont REALLY understand or knowwhat they are. You don’t have the eyes to really see them. And if you do ….. The devil is a lie and illusions are real. I have seen the same beings (negative) turn into bright lights (which i think we associate with good ones) and have seen the same ones turn to the blackest black to hide in a corner. So….. What can you trust?

While I identify with the targeted individual community as a shared experience……. I am having a difficult time saying its because i am a Twin Flame or a Lightwoker or 144k. And i am not that paranoid to think its the government. I mean but if the government wants to watch me wipe my ass all day…… That’s their issue. I just need the dial turned down on the fryer.

A lot of that stuff is distractions from our eyes being on God and giving praise. I am not going to even lie….. Like im seriously struggling feeling stuck in the demonic torture situation and i talk aboit it a lot to cope. But im trying to talk myself out of the ego and the bullshit…. And just want to get back to joy and being of service to humanity and growing in God.

Just saying. Be careful out here. Keep it simple keep it pure.

Too Dope: Dopamine and Possession

800px-D-DOPA

 

So I will be 1000% honest and say I have taken WAAAAAAY too much sleep medication (specifically Diphenhydramine HCl 25 – 50 mg)  I could stay up for days if I didn’t listening to these assholes. I’m not addicted (an addict would say that wouldn’t they?) but I have cut out caffeine and cut back on sugars and I am always working on being at my zero point of a calm place. Which I am used to functioning in high-stress situation so been working on that too and TRYING TO go to sleep at night. but the voices ALWAYS wake me up around the hours of 3am – 5am depending on what time I go to sleep.

So my first question was WHY were these voice keeping me from last stages of deep sleep where the body restores and balances itself. And there is your answer. When you don’t get enough deep sleep you start to feel dizzy and cranky and other health issues can arise.

Now that I get my sleep I have yet more question(s).

  1. I have photos (also here in this blog) where people and I can see beings (entities: shadow beings, demons, mantis, mantids, reptilian, shape-shifters) in my photos. So these beings exist… whether or not if they are “real” is questionable and depends on the end of the means in which they have access to us as humans.
  2. Antipsychotic meds are known to BLOCK dopamine (D2). How is this interacting with the sleep aids AND the entities?
  3. Dopamine: Sleep Aids increase dopamine in the brain. Why when I take Sleep Aids the voices get quieter? They also start to make less sense, whereas I can still function normally. They will also stay quiet for days after taking a large dose of diphenhydramine.

Number 3 is a MAJOR question. Do they need my brain at full capacity to function properly? Which is why they don’t want me to sleep for long periods of time (2 hours max)?

What is happening to my brain that I can function fine but they are saying crazy stuff. I won’t be able to do it justice but as I was falling asleep one yelled something like “The CAKE HAT HAD A HORSE OUTSIDE”, and I was like HUH?! and I think even one of the other voices were like WTF? this wasnt the first time that has happened.

I also would feel releases in my body …….. specifically on my left hip/tailbone, tugging on my back, release like a band from around my stomach, pulling suction feeling on the top of my head. But never a FULL COMPLETE release at the same time. because they are often made up of many different parts or more specifically many smaller entities.

A friend of mine said that when she has a few drinks the voices go away for her. But when I have a few drinks they actually get louder and I end up cussing the voices out in my head like a drunk 5 year old.

If what I am doing is bad for me…. why does it feel like its the right thing to do unless they are tricking me. Worse case scenario I am getting some sleep BEST CASE, it’s assisting in releasing the Entities.

UHG I wish I was like super duper smart or like knew someone who was super smart that could actually help me answer or run tests on this. I want to know:

How does the brain and Entities interacting?

I mean everyone talks about salt baths to get rid of the entities. But that I want to know the scientific evidence behind it.

More updates as I observe. I will try to keep things safe as possible.

Twin Flame: I did it to myself

So I was clicking around my sister’s computer to find a new picture of myself to upload for my email photo and I saw a photo I didn’t recognize. And BOOM it was a screenshot my dumb ass took of my ex (false twin flame) and his wife/ baby momma all lovey-dovey.

I took it originally to file under some sort of evidence since this whole experience was about HIM for some reason. Again the Demonic Mantid Reptilian whatever hides behind people or idols.

I am happy that he found love and has a kid (which he said he never would want). But I happy for him genuinely. But I felt every nerve ending set off and a wave go over my body. I wasn’t upset that he has love, but that I know these Entities are taking advantage of my body or Looshing it. So I sat there and stared lovingly at their love happy for them pushing through the pain because I KNOW the pain was false. I stared until the pain stopped. And then I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because I have to endure this ridiculousness and it actually physically hurt a lot. But I know the difference between what is inflicted and what is from me. That sensation wasn’t from me.

I can see their parasites and their flower-like looking connections all over my body so I know it’s them.

I mean I did it to myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have had the photo but if I wasn’t playing Scooby Doo Inspecto gadget magical mystery tales on MY LIFE maybe I wouldn’t! The Mantis’ said this was all for a “second chance” with my twin flame. The Mantis said he put voodoo on me when I started feeling pin pricks all over my body.  So I did feel some typa way about this man but once I go through the illusion and the lies, I realize while we had our own shit and he did hurt me… he wasn’t behind all of this. BUT the Mantid was using his internet persona to get to me.

So I’m not mad he is happy, I’m just mad I’M not happy. they are not exclusive to each other. I can be happy for others who are winning in life (even if we didn’t have the BEST relationship) and still want the best for me. I guess I mention this because that’s what the Mantis’ want they want me to be unhappy that he is happy and has a kid with a beautiful woman (and yes she’s totally goergy).

DEEP BREATH!

I just want to feel better. This has sucked ass for so long.

“I AM Isis”: The Throne

When I first started hearing audible voices the Entities pretended to be my ex (false twin flame) an practically was forcing me to say “I am Isis”. Every day for almost a month the voice of my ex or a woman pretending to be an angel or his friend or something kept saying just say “I am Isis” and I mean Isis is cool. I know a lot of twin flames dig her.

When I was young my family gave me a lot of Egyptian children’s toys. And I always kinda loved mythology growing up. But these Entities definitely ruined that for me.

So in my twenties many of my friends were Caribbean mainly Haitian and Puerto Rican and so Ifa (Yoruba) and Santeria were things were talked about. So I also studied some of the mythology as well since many of my friends references these Gods and Goddesses as like some one would say Isis.

When I looked up the name of Isis, her name means. So Isis means “throne” in Egyptian mythology.

I never understood why they wanted me to call myself Isis. First they said I was in a past life, then they said it was code names, then it just got all really crazy and mixed up and scary.

Either way I was thinking yesterday about about something. One of the Entities who was dressed as an “Acturian” wrote in a photo “I test before I sit”, I told her I fail and she can have a seat somewhere else. One that didn’t feel very “Acturian” in nature and I don’t trust anyone now.

In Santeria and I believe in Ifa (might be called something different) called “mounting” which the Orisha takes over the human body. Usually these are designated ceremonies for this.

So the other day it’s like this experience and the name Isis and mounting all clicking for a moment.

My mind my body is a throne in which these entities sit who wish to be worshipped like Gods and or Goddesses. But unfortunately from what I SEE they are not. They don’t act like it, look like it and unless rape and migraines is Goddess status nah.

I can’t say how it is for other religions. I know Orishas have very specific ways they are suppose to act. So I guess I’m trying to understand where does my experience fall in all of this.

Radio Silence: False Acturians in Astrals

So my parents are away and I decided to turn off all the TVs, and cut off all the fans AND any other ambient noises (radio clocks).

I heard less voices and ONE voice…… and maybe a distant scream. Then the voices got SUPER MEAN like they became WAY more physical as I was trying to sleep I noticed a huge migraine (even though I took my migraine meds), anxiety in my body and a racing thoughts so I acknowledged them and tried to just breathe then the voices/ Entities started making me feel ill….. if not actually thumping my heart.

Then I saw this bitch come down into my third eye and give me a dream ….. one moment it’s about BeyoncĂ© the next it turns into my father raping me AGAIN!!!!! And then I cussed them out in my dream calling them a piece of shit and then they start pounding on my heart…… and then how I now KNOW that shit is not just my heart acting up is that they started thumping my neck and I woke up.

This all happened in an hour and a half of sleep. So I didn’t even get to sleep.

All because they didn’t have voices to play off of with all from the TV and radios. Pieces of shit. I swear I’m going to disintegrate them.

Fucking assholes.

This bitch down here said she’s Acturian. Said she “test before I sit”. This bitch needs to find another seat. This is just one drawing but there are other forms. If this bitch has anything to do with any of this she can not possibly be Acturian. And no she can not sit or mount or anything. Gross piece of shit Entity.

These Demonic Astral parasitic Entities are getting really desperate.

Divinity and Humans ✹🌎✹

So I saw this image in a group I am in. Talking Acturians “aliens” beings whatever.

They say they are more divine than humans, live in another dimension free of these bodies, war ect.

I guess I wonder why Humans are viewed as garbage. I mean even we view ourselves as garbage. Maybe we wouldn’t do some of the things we do individually ………. collectively.

Why must we “transcend the body” in order be recognized for our “true divinity”?

I suffer for the eons of human error? Or is it JUST human error?

Being partially possessed puts some but not all things into perspective.

Since the beginning there has always been this since of…….. shame….. otherness to the human experience. There were always God/s/desses that looked down on Humans. Making humanness seem more like a curse than a blessing.

This body feels and sees maybe too much. It grows and dies…. birth and decays in the most violent ways. And yet that is something that not respected. For its short duration of existence.if anything that is manipulated to someone’s or something’s advantage ……..and I’m talking at all levels.

Possession makes me feel like a battery, a fucking tool or drug. Maybe that is our human error. The root. Why we could never be “divine ” because we are easily manipulated and we have no idea what the fuck is really going on.

And no one wants to really say and even if they did how would we know it’s not yet another lie, and even if it wasn’t it conflict with someone’s else ideas and their would be arguments over the minute details as to discredit a person.

Why aren’t humans considered Divine?

Why aren’t we allowed to enjoy the beauty of the earth? Suffering in our our DNA it seems.

Transcending our “humanness” is suppose to be the pathway to “enlightenment” ascension. Whatever path language you wish to use. There is nothing divine about being human? Their is no hierarchy to being blessed. Why can’t it be that we all have different experiences and we assist each other. Is thanks idolizations?

The supposed Gods are not perfect. If anything the stories showed us that over and over…… neither are we. We all clearly make mistakes.

This is who I am! Human! I will never be this again. You can believe whatever you want. I will never exist again.

I am – ME…….. I am here writing these words for the first and last time.

So what exactly is divine?