Death Treats…..😩

So I was trying to sleep. And of course they went on as business as usual with buzzing, trembling my body, hard to describe the sensation but almost like my “spirit” is being stretched or yanked. Or maybe its their energy being yanked. Idk. 

Either way kept jolting me awake a few times. Lol this is why Schizo’s get irritated probably. 

But Archon homie tried to do this whole play like “I’m sorry, you want rose colored”,  I’m like huh? I guess basically rose colored glasses to look away from what they are doing to me and play. 

So now it made it seem like its “boss” came in and said “I know you are sorry!” Then the “boss” said in a deep tone “Ms. (My last name) your nwhole family is going to get shot!” Because of my previous posts honing in on Archons as the main cause of my schizophrenic experience. 

Now I am use to these tactics to scare me. I’ve seen and heard worse. But I’m REALLY getting tired of this shit. I was just trying to sleep.

Now that I’ve settled on it being “Archon’s”, they want to take another opportunity to scare me and make a whole elaborate play so it can feel like a powerful cosmic dot, when I don’t give a fuck. 

Advertisements

The Fuckery 😩😩

So this is the type of fuckery I keep getting. 

Prior to this, this person told me I “pissed off the illuniati”, and prior to that said i “was taking night classes in heaven”. 

Another healer told me I “was dealing with guilt and shame of being a healer”, then in the next session said “this is a curse passed down from my father because someone on his side generations back was in a cult”. She also said she removed it. I have yet to see any changes. 

The person above also said they removed “it”. Other readers prior to there told me it was “black magick sent from my ex (twin flame)”, then said it was a negative soul tie with him and he was a false twin flame. 

The demon said to me directly that I was contracted to “commit suicide for my ex (twin flame) by means of child molestation” (visions of child abuse basically trying to force me into suicide). 

SO. This is the type of fuckery I am dealing with. These are the so called healers and psychics are telling me vs what the demon is doing. 

I’m tired and broke. And not one as made this stop.

I’ve been told sooooo many different stories as to WHY this is happening even by the same people, let alone different people. 

I mean these people are over here telling me this story and that story. And I can hear these Demons and they can’t tell me directly but can make up some absurd story to tell a healer, psychic, magic dude, angel light worker, shaman, akashic record reader, demonologist, so THEY can feel complete and accomplished…. Not me.

I’m right here! So what’s the point of telling errybody else different stories?

What’s the fucking point. 

I Deserve This

Its Demon/ Shadow Entity whatever. Pretty simple …. There is no going back from this. There is no SURPRISE I was your angel spirit guide all along pushing you to what? Quit your job, ruin ever relationship, gain 100lb and sleep all day. There really is no coming back from this on any level. 

There is no prize, The demon tried to encourage me to keep going through the experience because in the end I would get my ex back or, be a better person, or some magical awakening ability. No there is no light at the end of this tunnel. You don’t get a prize for enduring pointless visions of child abuse or feeling like your brain is being sucked through a straw. There is no “upgrade” as we are designed as we should be. And I’m pretty sure any evolutionary changes would be extremely slow or generational. 

I deserve this, I clearly have done something to deserve this. Whether it was being disrespectful to my parents when I was young, being gay (who knows), having to to do sex work to survive, doing a few drugs, I might have borrowed/ stolen a couple things in my life. And while I try for the majority my hardest to be honest, I’ve definitely told some lies in my life. 

There is something I did to deserve this. Known or unknown. Do I feel like the punishment fits the crime, whatever it is….. No. But clearly that doesn’t matter. I did something or a couple of things that warrants demons being unleashed on me…. What they do from there… I guess is up to them and its not about being fair. Or balanced, or even learning a lesson at this point. I can’t even find the lesson in all of this because its just too much torture and confusion. Getting a lesson is for our own sake. It is our way of making peace. There is no prize, no lesson. 

This doesn’t excuse or make up for anything I have done. Enduring this doesn’t excuse what I have done in the past to deserve or contract this. This doesn’t wipe the slate clean. This doesnt purify. There is no lesson. Just abuse. 

There is no new age path, story or fantasy that applies. There is no cure. 

Even if my prayers and wishes came true and this Demon(s) *poof* magically went away, there is always the chance that it will come back and either try to ruin my life or make it even worse when I am down. There is no guarantee that this Demon will never come back and be gone forever.

No one will ever love me with this demon around. 

So it doesn’t matter. Nothing I do matters. 
Broken.

Lightworkers Victimizing Victims

So someone added me to a few “light worker healer groups” on Facebook.

The fuckery I have observed from many of the people who claim to be light workers is sub par. I in no way claim to be a light worker FYI. At best I simply was looking for answers…. At most sharing and trying to be an ear for other people to know they are not alone.

Many of these light workers will pounce on anyone who is “negative” saying 

  • “You are not a real light worker!”
  • “you are not of the light”
  • “You are too negative/toxic!”
  • “You just want attention”

The list can go on and on and on. What most see as attention seeking and negative. I see as a cry for help. One guy who claims to to be a “light worker” interjected in my comment to a poster who claimed he hated his life. His English wasn’t amazing and I understood what he was feeling. I get it. The “light worker” called me an idiot and went on calling me names because I responded to the poster. And told him life does suck and you’re not alone, but I need you stay strong. 

These “light workers” who believe they are ordain by some Arch Angel to go around blessing people like they are Jesus Christ is fucked up. It’s an ego trap.

And while the same can go for the “Shadow Side” from those who believe they have been bestowed with great knowledge by from random ass God of the underworld cause they read fucking emerald tablets…. Need to check themselves as well. When they go about threatening people online “you really don’t know who you are messing with!” Like gonna send some voodoo. Why would you send voodoo over an online spat?

If ANY of y’all were that big and bad then why hasnt anyone really stopped some of the terrible things happening in the world.

Like all I see is egos. And its exhausting. And no one seems to know shit. And we use the light or the dark to exert control over someone or a situation. To feel justified in out petty judgments. 

Its like who is level headed enough to like chill?

The same person who is thinks they are talking to Arch Angel Micheal will be the first to chalk me up to schizophrenic when i am am honest and their “light magic” doesn’t work. Really? Wouldn’t you sense that was the case from the begining and not take my money?

There are people who are deeply hurting in this world. Various reason. Countless. Some don’t even know why. Any time someone expresses themselves that doesnt make these light workers feel good. Then you are automatically labeled as “of the dark”.

I have both experienced and seen “light workers” victimize victims. Don’t get me wrong I’m a straight forward kind of person. I don’t need fluffy language. And maybe I am expecting to much from “light workers” who claim to be apart of that compassionate life. 

But shit y’all.

I have been fighting every day of my life the best way I know how. And I have people over here telling me I haven’t taken enough salt baths…. Or eaten enough fruits…. Or prayed enough…. Or this was my fault… From some past life I know nothing about. That there IS a reason. When I am neck deep in it and have yet to find a justifiable reason for me OR many of our people.

Victimizing people who are attacked spiritually….. Is fucked up. Taking their money to chalk it up to depression is fucked up. Feeding them some bullshit past life story is fuck up. And watching your ego and face change when you don’t get the gratification of “helping” someone so you dismiss them like trash IS FUCKED UP.

No wonder I chose an alien as my alter ego. 

I will never understand this world. 

Lightworkers Victimizing Victims

So someone added me to a few “light worker healer groups” on Facebook.

The fuckery I have observed from many of the people who claim to be light workers is sub par. I in no way claim to be a light worker FYI. At best I simply was looking for answers…. At most sharing and trying to be an ear for other people to know they are not alone.

Many of these light workers will pounce on anyone who is “negative” saying 

  • “You are not a real light worker!”
  • “you are not of the light”
  • “You are too negative/toxic!”
  • “You just want attention”

The list can go on and on and on. What most see as attention seeking and negative. I see as a cry for help. One guy who claims to to be a “light worker” interjected in my comment to a poster who claimed he hated his life. His English wasn’t amazing and I understood what he was feeling. I get it. The “light worker” called me an idiot and went on calling me names because I responded to the poster. And told him life does suck and you’re not alone, but I need you stay strong. 

These “light workers” who believe they are ordain by some Arch Angel to go around blessing people like they are Jesus Christ is fucked up. It’s an ego trap.

And while the same can go for the “Shadow Side” from those who believe they have been bestowed with great knowledge by some random ass God of the underworld cause they read fucking emerald tablets…. Need to check themselves as well. When they go about threatening people online “you really don’t know who you are messing with!” Like they are gonna send some voodoo. Why would you send voodoo over an online spat?

If ANY of y’all were that big and bad then why hasnt anyone really stopped some of the terrible things happening in the world?

Like all I see is egos. And its exhausting. And no one seems to know shit. And we use the light or the dark to exert control over someone or a situation. To feel justified in out petty judgments. 

Its like who is level headed enough to like chill?

The same person who is thinks they are talking to Arch Angel Micheal will be the first to chalk me up to schizophrenic when i am am honest and their “light magic” doesn’t work. Really? Wouldn’t you sense that was the case from the begining and not take my money?

There are people who are deeply hurting in this world. Various reason. Countless. Some don’t even know why. Any time someone expresses themselves, that doesnt make these light workers “empaths” feel good. Then you are automatically labeled as “of the dark”.

I have both experienced and seen “light workers” victimize victims. Don’t get me wrong I’m a straight forward kind of person. I don’t need fluffy language. And maybe I am expecting to much from “light workers” who claim to be apart of that compassionate life. 

But shit y’all.

I have been fighting every day of my life the best way I know how. And I have people over here telling me I haven’t taken enough salt baths…. Or eaten enough fruits…. Or prayed enough…. Or this was my fault… From some past life I know nothing about. That there IS a reason. When I am neck deep in it and have yet to find a justifiable reason for me OR many of our people.

Victimizing people who are attacked spiritually….. Is fucked up. Taking their money to chalk it up to depression is fucked up. Feeding them some bullshit past life story is fuck up. And watching your ego and face change when you don’t get the gratification of “helping” someone so you dismiss them like trash IS FUCKED UP.

No wonder I chose an alien as my alter ego. 

I will never understand this world. 

Sister Sister (part 4)

Last year (maybe 2 week – a month) prior to my twin sister having a stroke in March 2016. My sister and I had a verbal fight. I’m not sure what it was about but sisters fight and we made up as normal. After that I kept hearing on the streets “You should be nice to your sister”. I heard this maybe two or three times.

My full on experience didn’t start until December 2015 with prep work of crying EVERYday from June 2015 – December 2015 as much as I wanted to stop. So it was a slow decline after the break up with my ex (twin flame).

I said 2016 I was going to forget about my ex and take a break from dating because the crying thing was too much. So I took a spiritual bath and worked on trying to get happy again. Later I heard “Bless this house

So jump back to March 2016 I went to pick my bike from Brooklyn my sister had the stroke which was at my best friends house (soul mate ex) and I told him about what I was experiencing. I said something to the extent that “it was like having every fear yours or not being thrown at you at once.” He actually started to cry. I didn’t know if he understood or felt sorry for me.

So I took my bike and was about to ride it but it had a flat and so I got on the train and soon as I got of the train my dad called and said I my sister was in the hospital because she had a stroke.

Other than crying and riding my bike with a flat tire home first so I could go see my sister, I actually don’t remember the rest of the day

My sister spent 5 months in a nurse home (a shit one at that but it was the only one in the borough). During those 5 months I went through my own personal hell with this demon Voice Entity thing. It was acting as my ex (twin flame), and it was acting as people at my job, it was raping me everynight and calling me a child molestor around children. I mean as I said I thought I was being punked or it was a practical joke cause I know I am not one. So even started making light of it. But no. It wasn’t…. And it didn’t stop.

I was at my job having all kinds of crazy visions, my body was trembling. My head felt like it was in a vice. I would go home after to hear all kinds of crazy shit coming off the TV or outside. The voice saying “send her a brain anurism” or “send her cum” or something still acting like it was my ex (twin flame) put a curse on me. Making me hear my ex having sex. Hearing all kinds of racist, sexist, disgusting, things all day. 

At one point the I wondered if I was having stroke. Or if this Entity was forcing me to have one with at that “energy” head ache that I was feeling. I mean my sister had one so I thought maybe I was having one too. But then I wondered if this same “energy” ….. this same “Entity” caused my sister to have a stroke as well.

I started freaking out and screaming at the Entity, I called it every name in the book. It said, “I didn’t…. I didn’t!”. But at the time it was saying that evetything it said was “the opposite” …… So i didnt know whay to think. I wanted to believe my sisters stroke was just medical, that my mind was just in fear. That the stroke had nothing to do with what I was hearing. That the Entity was only trying to scare me.

So I let it go and just prayed for my sisters recovery. 

My sister finally came home in July 2016. I had already quit my job, cut my hair and just got out of the psyche ward with no relief. I spent my last paycheck on a psychic lady who said she could help me remove this “spirit” …. She didn’t. 

My sister came home I was on meds and for some reason I was the only person in my home would actually hear my sister call out at night for help to the bathroom. But sometime her call would wake me out of my sleep. Not in a normal way. Sometimes I would be pushed or jolted out of my sleep to hear her call…. But she would would be asleep and actually call me moments later to go to the bathroom. 

The Entity also “foretold” when my Ex would call me, when my mother “lord have mercy” was going to have a heart attack. When my grandmother “Great day” was going to pass. Said it was waiting for the “other shoe to drop”, predicting my mother having a stroke this year 2017. I actually thought the other shoe dropping was ME. I mean this Entity kept telling if not forcing me to kill myself…. Or run away from my family. On my birthday March 2016 I heard “Rest In Peace”….. Sounding as my ex. Idk I thought I was gonna die. I felt like I was dying. Squeezed and left to dry in the hot sun. I told the Entity that it was trying to kill “Get it over with!”. 

Now its tryingbto say I will get cancer. Or I’m going to die next year. “Last year”. I mean since this has happened my health has declined in a short period of time.

So I’m at this place where is this Entity….. Whatever it is….. Telling the future or causing it? 

I can’t see how it can actually tell the future. Where there are so many possibilities. But take opportunities to steer people into a particular direction? Or forcefully to get the job done?

Sigh.