Matrix: Brainwashing : Trigger Words

So you know how a lot of those hippy new age blogs say “just ask the universe” , then we step the game up with the business Guru’s who tell you the CORRECT way to ask the universe.

Positive affirmations basically. Not only with your thoughts and words but with actions and it can be a slow process.

So if you are trying to diet, instead of saying “I’m not going to EAT” you would say “I am full” something like that. Also I’m a goofy so I like to eat so I previously would indulge in making decadent healthy dishes. It was fun to turn something that wasn’t AS healthy more healthy.

The reason I mention this is TRIGGER WORDS. We all have them programmed in us consciously or unconsciously. Essentially they are there. These can be goals, fears, subconscious programming from the media (internet, tv, music, new, ect), culture.

Well these Entities (Mantis /Reptilian) telepathically brainwash through fear. The fear keeps you distracted until you realize it’s an illusion then it just becomes annoying.

What they do is implant triggers while you are too focused on pain and fear and the situation

Next thing you know your SO lost.

They said there is free will but I believe when only two choices are presented that is not free will. That is a false sense of choice.

I was on my weight loss journey for 4 years lost a solid 100lb+ becoming “schizophrenic”. I was able in my own time to eliminate what wasn’t working for me this included smoking too since I was working out more. You can feel that💩. So I maybe two at the end of the day. Some days none. I also worked with kids and didn’t want to smell like smoke so this made me try t be more responsible. Including working out in the off season so I kept my muscles active (I worked at a farm). So I was proud of my accomplishments with my body even was healing symptoms of PCOS. Then BOOM ATTACK from another dimension!

With all that said….. that was the track that I was on and I did NOT THINK this track was even fathomable.

What these entities would do is…. say “Stop smoking” , “Don’t eat anything here (this house/realm)”. What I found was that I would do the opposite I would smoke more every time they mentioned stop smoking I would eat more every time he mentioned don’t eat or eat or go smoke a cigarette so the point was trigger words. The trigger words were smoke and eat there or both positive affirmations for doing the action. Actions that I had been previously had worked years to work on fixing my habits.

And all it took was less than a year.

They kept me in pain by mentioning things about childhood fears break ups mistakes made maybe a little wires that were told anything that would keep a person and guilt shame and fear. And this would happen nonstop over and over all day every day waking sleeping for about 2 1/2 years now.

The triggers have become habits so it’s a way of feeling like the entities can control me but I am now more so addicted to smoking then I was say or year ago I am a lot of this is because I am not as physically active because of the energetic pain that the entities put on me. And I know that it’s an illusion but it’s still a part of my daily reality.

So now that I know my triggers or the triggers programming that was put inside of me now what?!

If I was going to ask the universe for anything would be to remove these entities so that I can actually know what is me!

When I close my eyes I see the entities placing black patches over my vision so that I can’t see what is in front of me or around me so that I can’t fully see you with my third eye or good eyes or whatever you want to call them. These aren’t dreams. This is fully awake. But probably what dreams/ nightmares are made of.

So the fact that I’m being kept from being my fullest or true potential is telling me that I need for fleet of entities to attack me on a daily basis for over two years that I have to be energetically locked down in one place that I’m not allowed to pretty much go anywhere. A mother have to put black patches over my eyes or my third eyes so that I don’t see what they don’t want me to see how much is them attacking me regularly.

So think of the trigger words like curses or spells every time the entity says stop smoking as much as I want to think that this entity has my best interest at heart it doesn’t.

Really what is saying is to smoke causing confusion more confusion so that it can maintain control. What this entity is staying at the end of the day is SMOKE!

It doesn’t want me to be healthy or happy and what’s funny is my last letter to my ex (false twin flame) is that, that is what I wished for him.

And I meant it.

So now that I know the triggers are curses spells brainwashing what do I do?

I’m in a super tricky situation. Because I can’t seem to cancel them out as much as I have tried with ” positive affirmations”. There are at least 50-100 in my house alone.

Deep breath!

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Twin Flame: I did it to myself

So I was clicking around my sister’s computer to find a new picture of myself to upload for my email photo and I saw a photo I didn’t recognize. And BOOM it was a screenshot my dumb ass took of my ex (false twin flame) and his wife/ baby momma all lovey-dovey.

I took it originally to file under some sort of evidence since this whole experience was about HIM for some reason. Again the Demonic Mantid Reptilian whatever hides behind people or idols.

I am happy that he found love and has a kid (which he said he never would want). But I happy for him genuinely. But I felt every nerve ending set off and a wave go over my body. I wasn’t upset that he has love, but that I know these Entities are taking advantage of my body or Looshing it. So I sat there and stared lovingly at their love happy for them pushing through the pain because I KNOW the pain was false. I stared until the pain stopped. And then I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because I have to endure this ridiculousness and it actually physically hurt a lot. But I know the difference between what is inflicted and what is from me. That sensation wasn’t from me.

I can see their parasites and their flower-like looking connections all over my body so I know it’s them.

I mean I did it to myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have had the photo but if I wasn’t playing Scooby Doo Inspecto gadget magical mystery tales on MY LIFE maybe I wouldn’t! The Mantis’ said this was all for a “second chance” with my twin flame. The Mantis said he put voodoo on me when I started feeling pin pricks all over my body.  So I did feel some typa way about this man but once I go through the illusion and the lies, I realize while we had our own shit and he did hurt me… he wasn’t behind all of this. BUT the Mantid was using his internet persona to get to me.

So I’m not mad he is happy, I’m just mad I’M not happy. they are not exclusive to each other. I can be happy for others who are winning in life (even if we didn’t have the BEST relationship) and still want the best for me. I guess I mention this because that’s what the Mantis’ want they want me to be unhappy that he is happy and has a kid with a beautiful woman (and yes she’s totally goergy).

DEEP BREATH!

I just want to feel better. This has sucked ass for so long.

Mantis Problems 🐜

So…………. I think one of my main problems is a Mantis / Mantid problem. In an article on Gaia.com they identified them as shapeshifters which would make sense as to why I was seeing so many different characters. I mean they literally have a bag full of tricks. They can look human with enough “light magic” or like a classic grey alien. I have seen Sunglasses and Masks they put on. They seem to be made out of Ether. Ether …. is malleable. If anything it’s keeping it together that is the real art.

Either way, these assholes had a bunch of babies in my house and I’m losing my mind. I am not sure what my relation is in this process. But I feel like I died a thousand times. I mean if you are a good being, and you need help like JUST ASK!!!!! Whats with all this nasty shit? JUST ASK and be nice and decent!!! People donate blood right? Food? Money? time? resources? So if these beings needed something so bad all they had to do was ask! and make some sense about it. And trust that I would use my own guidance. and if I said no move along. There are plenty of hippies out here willing and able. And now I’m sitting here feeling like death barely able to write and take a crap in a day.

Like it had to be 100’s of babies. And I’m not sure if they put another load in.

I am not even sure if they are the ones acting like Reptilians or Shadow people or Trolls since they can shapeshift.

Side note: The reason they like TV is because it’s predictable especially with commercials. They love pop entertainment for some reason. And I seem to be apart of it.

My friend said to get Organite towers to get rid of them but I don’t want to pay for yet ANOTHER thing that will disappoint me and waste money I don’t have. They aren’t cheap range in $30 for a small one the size of my palm to $100+ for one the size of a small statue.

So why they are connected to me I don’t know. Babies? Energy food? Pure delight and entertainment? They hate humans? False sense of control? They did try to say they were God more than like 1000 times, especially after I rejected the whole Isis and Osiris bit. I was like do you know how many bitches out here think they are Isis reincarnated? maybe I just don’t understand how reincarnation works. But from my knowledge at the time they then moved on to the Big G.

Side note: I think an entity or entities use different frequencies for different things. Like light frequency is for movement, radio waves for sound and speaking. I’m not sure but you get my drift that maybe each wavelength if they tap into it allows them partial access. People are super concerned about Wifi and EMF and I’m not too sure where they lay on the spectrum or how they interact with the body I know people say its harmful to the body but I’m not sure how they interact on a spiritual or metaphysical level.

So I believe that’s one Large chunk of my issue is the Mantid’s. I just don’t know how to get rid of them or why they are here in the first place.

I’m not going to make this too long but I’m pretty set on that being a consistent part of this experience. And they tend to hide behind people (humans), or images of idols, or masks. So it makes a lot of sense.

Now on to WHY THE FUCK DID THEY RUIN MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deep breath……….. deep breath…….

 

Furies: Demons of Vengance

So I was watching Once Upon a Time and they talked about a Fury demon that takes a life for another.

I never noticed the picture but it looked very similar to the Demon here that I see occasionally. I assume its female because of the long hair that’s always whipping around but that’s not necessarily true.

I always reference this as a Banshee or an Original Fairy. Either way I unsure what the vengeance part is for because I have never screwed anyone over. If anything I always got the shit end of the stick and I always did the work within myself to to eventually forgive and let it go. 

This is the shit end of a stick I received yet.

Cause I feel more and more clueless. 

One girl in my schiz Facebook group drew a picture of the exact same thing I see and it that demon kept asking “where is my child?”, I also had similar delusions with the voices saying “you will never be a mother!”. 

But that doesn’t bring any more clarity as to why this particular demon is here and or how to get rid of it. 

I thought it was cleared in the soul clearing work I was doing but apparently they just cycle through taking turns.

Do these Fury demons work for reptilians harvesting human souls or light or spiritual energy so they may live longer? 

Trick you into going mad and finally taking your life! 

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In Greek and Roman mythology, the Furies were female spirits of justice and vengeance. They were also called theErinyes (angry ones). Known especially for pursuing people who had murdered family members, the Furies punished their victims by driving them mad. When not punishing wrongdoers on earth, they lived in the underworld and tortured the damned. The Furies could also appear as storm clouds or swarms of insects.

Read more: http://www.mythencyclopedia.com/Fi-Go/Furies.html#ixzz5320xRn8B

Imaginary Friend 🍃👻🍃

I had some “the gruge” like or alien raptor visuals in the begining ….. But I laughed at them …. So oddly my visuals are not AS strong although I have like floating emojis around the house which are odd and visions of child abuse or which is terrifying or random photos of people. 

I guess I am more stern because of the auditory …. Speaking creates more of a relationship. So it’s like one moment the voices would have me crying from saying moms gonna die, then sucidial from a sick visual of child sexual abuse and then trying manipulate me back into a friendly demeanor by making jokes or saying they love me. I realized this was a cycle of abuse. 

The Reconciliation /Honeymoon phase is “The victim feels pain, fear, humiliation, disrespect, confusion, and may mistakenly feel responsible. Characterized by affection, apology, or, alternatively, ignoring the incident, this phase marks an apparent end of violence, with assurances that it will never happen again, or that the abuser will do his or her best to change.” 

The first time I was introduced to this was when my best friend in high school told me that her mom would beat her, and then clean her wounds and tell her sorry and it won’t happen again and do it again. I asked my mom if she could live us but she couldn’t. 

Once I found this habitual pattern of abuse…. As much as those funny moments are so important for relief to the constant verbal abuse… To love and not hate…. To laugh….. I sadly had to accept that these voices will never change…. And I can no longer enable their abuse. Nor can I trust any attempt to gain my trust. 

This is called trauma. Not being able to leave a state of constant distrust or being on gaurd…… Physically harms the body in itself as well as how I interact with others. I’m trying to simply be clear and stern about my boundaries rather than be become a full blown narc. But it hurts and its hard because this is NOT my true nature. 

Sans the sick twisted abusive stuff…. I have no problem having an imaginary alien rapture friend that remixes gregorian music, plays air ghost tic tac toe and makes decent jokes given a natrual break in communication and with out pain from them touching me is gone.

Yea…. I am liberal about being crazy.

Running out of options

I’ve done the shaman, light worker, meditation, prayer thing….

I’ve the targeted individual, Mk ultra, gang stalking….. Matrix’s of insectoid thing….

Committing suicide for a twin flame thing….

Loosing everything like the “Book of Jobe” thing. 

Girl interrupted shave my head psyche ward crayon thing…. 

Clearing trapped energetic emotions for humanity thing….. Angel and demons thing. 

😩

I wanna do that thing where this all stops and I can enjoy this brief existence sans being raped every night by an reptilian insectoid posing as my ex twin flame. 

When will I get that this is done thing …. Finished thing? They go away thing? Never come back again thing? 

Princess. 👸

So I was scrolling through Facebook and Bored Panda had the cutest clip about this Dad who Makes Transforming Dresses

I’m into fashion believe it or not. I use to sew crazy performance outfits for my friends who were in the Vogue Ballroom scene. So this dress had what would be called an “effect” ….  Just that little extra bit of wow or drama. 

Either way I’m watching this clip in aww my mouth dropped from the creativity. And I knew any girl or femme would love to have something like that its like you turn into an instant princess. 

BUT OF COURSE THE ENTITY COMES IN and starts saying I’m watching child porn. And I’m like HUH? 

And so I just started crying…. Because I realized I may never think the way I use to ever again. Just…. normal. I have this curse…. This entity……. This inserted thought constantly talking about child abuse in a gross manner. It doesn’t matter what the topic is…. It could furniture….. Or tree. This entity will find a way to pedo that topic to torment my life. And I’m over it. 

I’m sorry I just started crying…. And I write when I cry. I’m tired of being molested and burned and constantly having to think about this topic. I’ve really tried to ignore it…. But then I bust out crying and I can’t help it it upsets me and I know they love it….. its there juice. 

Maybe I should have been heartless…. I wish I had a different fear….. A different thing that upsets me so much…. Idk…. Maybe Protecting the Rainforest or something…..

Just sucks looking at something innocently and then having it turned into something disgusting as soon as you smile. 

Whatever. 😭

BIG Problem: It’s like in my Body Now

I have been ignoring it for a while. Something has to happen a few times before I validate it.

SO NOW the new thing is whatever these things are when they attack ME there is like an impression of them in my body. This was mostly in photos. but now they are seeming more apparent on my skin. So like actual marks that then fade.

So like just now, my right arm felt tight, like high blood pressure I guess… but my blood pressure had gone down the doctors said I’m doing good. So I went to the bathroom and looked at my arm and my skin was moving. NOT like in the movies… but it was like moving side to side. It wasn’t like there was a bug or anything just moving. Then I just stared at it and it turned red and the impression of one of the things I see in photos appeared (the medusa banshee looking one) and then I just kept looking and it stopped and went away.

The time before that I saw my skin move on my forearm and then I quickly squashed my arm and then it turned into an X and then like like 2 others X’s showed up on my arm going down to my wrist.

I always felt them vibrating my root chakra area…. or like the energy in my head giving me a headache … but this is totally different.

I’m really at a loss now. I’m not sure if what I am doing is correct. I pray… I’m in the group healing… I’m over here doing ti chi. I am trying to be of service to others as best I can considering my own situation. But like I feel nothing I am doing is making it better.

I don’t know if the meds will officially knock them out or something I am willing to give it a try. I’m trying to go the holistic approach and the approach that feels right to me, but nothing seems to be working. If I do get SOME headway … I get attacked even harder.

like there at least 25 Archon Portal things in my house spewing shit at me if I even look in that direction. And its fucked up. I’m the only one in the house that feels or sees this. It’s insane. My friends can see them in photos so I’m not bugging out completely.

I just want to do whats right and will work in the long run.

Words Are Spells? (Repetitive Catch Phrases)

My eyes are your eyes. 

I can’t wait till you have eyes. (You see) 

I hope you never have eyes. (You never see)
I want to know who (my name) is. 

Now you know who (my name) is. 
I’m never coming back.

Go HOME!
When I try to say this phrases back the “female” one yells “OPPOSITE” out. 

I figure if these were spells I could figure who sent these demons and stop this insanity.

Occasionally the phrases will change with two or three words. But I don’t know what is the point of saying these. 

Maybe the two or three entities switch off (on me or) different parts of the body this way.

It hurts either way. But I know they don’t have and ounce of compassion that I once had for them.

At time I feel like I’m being energetically pimped…. Or like a circus show. 

If that wasn’t the case why was I stripped of my energy until I couldn’t move and in poor health?

When I have mustered up a little bit of happiness, energy/ motivation it is quickly stripped. Maybe with in half a day. 

There has to be a way……. I’m like in my prime. This sucks. 

UPDATE:

“Omg you are awesome”

“I love you”

Can you imagine these words being said to you then almost immediately after you are bing energetically raped.