What the Voices said last night

Last night as i was trying to sleep the voices said;

“She can be taken by a terrorist group”

*long span of time about to fall asleep again*

“Americans usually negotiate”

I think its all bullshit anyways…… But just incase a terrorist group tries to kidnap me!!!!!!….. im just putting this in my diary.

Church: Honor?

About the 36:00 mark.

So honor.

Honor hasn’t been that much of an issue for me. I’ve respect most living beings.

I guess my issue is with the real enemy. These demons that have been torturing me for years. I have my eye on buying a Telsa Coil that is suppose work on sending electromagnetic pulses through the body getting rid of morgenella, parasites and they said etheric attachments as well.

But am I suppose to honor and wait on God? I can’t deal with these sick thought one more day! How do you honor a demon? Why would you honor? A best I feel bad for them as they are slaves to their nature. They do not know true love, joy they just observe it. Mimic it. Badly at that.

Can I honor a demon as it ruins my life and rapes me?

Hearing Voices: “You Will Never Be A Mother”

So another aspect to this whole “you’re a child molester” thing, is that once I settled on the fact that my father didn’t do anything to to me (because when this came up I actually started to question it) the voices went on to say I was suffering and being tortured like this to be a mother. 😳 YES gurl! These bastards said this was a test to be a mother. When I went to some bullshit shaman lady here in NYC a white lady practicing Peruvian shamanism (no shade) she asked the spirit Entity why were they harassing me they said showed me a star and a baby.

They then later started harassing me more saying “you will Neeeeeeever be a mother!” All this stuff right? Still playing out and calling me a child molester as well. As well as the twin flame play at me. They threw the whole book at me all at once in a short period of time. Which has its pros and cons. Pros I spent less time peeling the layers of bullshit back and cons it physically took a toll on me to have that much energy sent my way. It was not gentle at all.

As I said in my blog before being queer, marriage and children were never really I guess sight for me. Just love and happiness. Ya know? With a partner. But now I guess switching more to the heteronormative world is that something I’m suppose to take on?

I was always ok with being a really awesome Godmother/Aunty to my Godson. I think every kid needs an adult outside their parents that they can confide in and give them really cool gifts and advice. 😃 My aunty was the coolest of them all. She influenced my taste in culture and arts. Always encouraging my talent in arts and giving me resources to do so. Even buying my art as a kid. Her home was impeccable. So as someone with PCOS and is/was queer, actually having children just was not at the forefront of my mind.

And honestly still isn’t. I mean the only thing I really think about is how can I get rid of these demons and how can I cultivate more joy/ move forward in my life while they are here? That’s really the only things.

So each time I kind of denounced a part of the Entities game play they flipped for something worse. 1. Twin flame, I was the Isis to his Osiris and to wait the rest of my life for my ex to come back and be energetically abused and raped by him? No thank you! 2. Suffer for making my father seem like he sexually abused me at the age of 3 years old and be called a child molester all day long (which he didn’t do and wasn’t my fault)? 👎🏼NOPE that doesn’t make much logical sense on the karma wheel! 3. Be called a child molester, while being raped and shown child porn in my 3rd eye to the brink of suicide as a test to see if I am equipped enough to have a star seed child?! I remember saying NO THANKS having a kid isn’t worth this sick torture please stop! And that’s where I step the fuck out of the New Age forum and go the fuck to “sleep”.

Yeaaaaa……….. the enemy (entity) will flip that script so many times you will not know where you are anymore in life or spiritually.

Just yesterday I had a guy tell me that I had Stockholm syndrome with the Entities. 😞 Gurl! He told me all of this because I told him his energy healing didn’t work. Stockholm syndrome is when you are in love with you captor. I’m not in love in the slightest. I’m not even really intrigued really. I am just using the coping mechanisms that have found that works for me writing and drawing and occasional research and documenting my struggles as a form of activism.

I had like two friends yesterday one by email and my best friend tell me that I need to stop researching and looking for answers and live my life. And I want to. I was minding my own fucking business living my best life when I was attacked on a level you wouldn’t believe. When I say loud I mean they were like concert amp loud in my brain. My brain was fucking HOT. For months!

It’s only this year did things calm down a bit. And as to why I can’t attribute it to one thing. It’s def not the meds or the healing sessions I had. I would say it was my belief system. Or the peeling away the storyline. They still are trying to create a storyline with my best friend. Like us getting into a fight cause they want me not to be around her anymore because I’m more happy andmore social now. But whatever I’m going with the flow I can’t stop shit only how I handle it and document it.

Communities I Keep an Eye On 👀

Spiritual Community: This mainly includes: twin flames, 144,000, light workers, kundalini, spiritual awakening, ascension, channeled messages, The Event, 5D, entities attachments and attacks, energy, healing, empaths, occultist/ esoteric. Meditiation, Many different spiritual/religious belief systems in one place. Incubus, spirit husbans, reptilian,archons, matrix, star seeds, ancient cultures,

Alien Encounter Community: understanding acturian, paladian, grey, reptillian, mantis beings. Channeled messages. Earth bound conscious abductions. Star seeds, 5d earth, the event,

Targeted Individuls Community: gang stalking, street theater, mk ultra, v2k, project paper clip, nano technology, chem trails, electronic harrassment and torture, Morgenellas, CERN, EMF radiation, ELF waves, government patents.

Schizophrenic Community: paranoia, delusional states of being (even if you are right), anti-psychotic medications, symptoms mimick that of targeted individuals and spiritually opressed people (or vice versa), being seen as crazy, healing, theraphy, cognative behavioural therapy, transpersonal therapy, carl jung’s shadow work, hearing voices as a large scope of people rather than just schizophrenics (who twnd to have a negative experience). Sub vocal speech article,

Christian Community: Are they voice hearers? Hearing the voice of God? Is it God? The Event? Is the same as the rapture? Armageddon? Understanding demons/spirits through a Christian/ religious lens. Book of Enoch. Keeping/strengening my faith in God through all of this, the 144,000, Jesus, history. Story of Job, of Paul, of, Saul and Jesus all having been taunted by demons and the devil in the bible.


Most people i have met are stead fast on their path and stick to their path. Thats fine. I found that there are MANY similarities between the the belief systems. And thats just in the 3rd Dimensional world explination.

Could it be that all the alien encounters, hundreds of praised gods and goddesses were just spirits or major demons trying take Gods glory because they simple could? I mean the Entity here with me has NO problem saying they are God and rape me in the next moment. Sick right? That is enough to make anyone to loose faith. Its a win win situation for them. Either they make someone loose faith in the One True God OR they Get some one to believe they ARE God or an authority of sorts.

But that is besides the point. These are the main communities i have studies and i have reached a plateau in my research. I can see them, hear them, feel their gross energy. Ive drawn what i have seen. They conflict with some of my research. And i havent found anyone i can use as a sound board to really confirm much of what i see. But definitely confirmed what we hear and feel. Visions and and hallucinations are a bit different. A vision is in your minds eye. A hallucination is standing in your living room you can walk around it. But they are not 3d theybare more flat 2d line drawings i can walk around.

Anyway the plateau is frustrating. Cause i want to move beyound this or i want it to be over.

Its my anthropological mind that got me here. Im always too curious. Why…. How? Whats the story? I could not accept this as a broken brain. I was hearing words and phrases i never even heard before. I had to google them.

I have heard people who have been cured of their affliction similar to mine to mine through medication, but also though shamic healing, also through prayerand the grace of God, some meditation, so im just wonder IF i will ever find my healing.

I mean being all over the map has both a blessing and a curse. In one way as i research and went to healers who gave me information that conflicted with something in the storyline the demons were creating. First it was telepathy as twin flames with my ex as were supposedly fractions of Isis and Osiris souls. 😔 spare me. Then when i rejected that they went on to say i was being raped and called a child molestor because i was “paying for my father” which was my dad was accused of molesting me which he didnt (i wrote about it many times in this blog you can search it). Then they weree trying to convince me they were God by blacki g me out like 3 or 4 times. Then when i started seeing them and they looked like alien or reptilian or demon trolls heads floating around…. Things got UBER confusing but that didnt stop their torure one bit.

So jumping around helped me understand most of it was bullshit. BUT the path to actual healing looks future away. Or confusing. Amd no salt baths and picturing a bright white light around me did not work.

I was recently told i am one of the 144k and a light worker and i have no idea what that even means. To me i was wouldn’t have have the innate power to blast these things away? Just saying. I just feel like 4 years of my short life has been wasted all to a demon. This is not why i was born. To be raped by demons all day everyday.

Im still pushing through tho. I still wish i had a mentor that could help me ubderstand this stuff. If im going to stuck with them might as welm make them my lab rat expiriments. Since thats what they are doing to me. Fuck em.

Targeted Individuals: Hearing Voices: Child Abuse AGAIN

So this is post from a woman hearing voices that call her a child molester too.

I had conversations with several others who would hear/heard the same thing and was frightening for them. Some didn’t care cause they knew they didn’t. But I guess in the beginning hearing that and not knowing what was going on it was frightening.

I know a lot of people in the targeted individuals hear extreme subjects as this. As well as get disturbing visuals like I do sometimes.

Thankfully for this woman it has stopped and she doesn’t s grounded now, but for me it has not no matter how grounded I am or unbothered I act. I guess idk maybe how much it upsets me.

It’s a sad existence.

Update: this was a comment from a woman whos son was hearing this.

It really makes you wonder why so many are hearing this.

Targeted Individuals: EMF reading at Kids Playground

So a last week I was at the park (btw I live in NYC) where I take my godson to play and I was on the park benches and while I was just staring around the park I noticed on the metal bench I was on the was a clear white misty cloud form on the top back of the benches. I double checked my eyes looked to other parts of the park. But the top back was were it was the most predominant.

So yesterday I took my godson again to the park. I sat at a different park bench and decided to do an EMF reading because I was getting migraines that were making me almost nauseous.

So I remembered what I saw on the bench but I didn’t really see them at first. I do the EMF reading on myself which was at a 60 but then quickly went down to like a 40 something once I turned on my reader. So no wonder I was feeling nauseous.

Then I casually did a reading for the metal bench armrest it was 119. It wasn’t easy to get that reading because when you put it on the arm rest and you get like maybe a 90 at first but if you move it slightly one way towards where the numbers go up you find the “hot spot”. The reasons that they are not the easiest to find is because the beings or projections are flattish. The are usually not much thicker than cardboard. So the are facing one way or another on the axis point.

Then I did a reading for the top back part of the bench like I saw on the other bench last week. 214! This was by the way only isolated to one spot towards the end of the bench. This is touching people! My head was there just a moment ago.

I feel like if I followed a trail of EMF readings it would lead me somewhere. But maybe it’s randomish.

Then I wondered if I was getting high readings because the bench was made out of metal. I did an EMF reading for the seat of the bench which came out to 20/30. And for the middle arm rest. That is a huge jump. All the same area, all the same material.

When I looked close to the arm of the bench I could see a clear watery outline of energy but nothing distinct. Just that it was there and not other places. It also did not seem to attack me that I was aware of. Most, at least when I am inside, seem to attack me. A dark outline getting in my face to scare me or sending sparkles or lights to my body to connect to it….. who knows .

I also did an EMF reading for my best friends bed. Generally the bed was at 40, but when I moved towards the head of the bed… it jumped to 70.

So there is definitely something with being near the head of humans.

While I may recognize them as spirit/demon/alien I have not definitively ruled out technology. It’s just easier to explain what I am seeing and experiencing exactly as I see it.

While some of us may have a hitch hiker or a few, these beings/things cover the city. I also see them on non voice hears. So again what makes us different to experience loud voices, energetic rape and violations of the body and mind?

That is my latest update.

Targeted Individuals: Gang Stalking: WTF is DEMPG?

So someone one a YouTube channel mentioned something about DEMPG and it sparked my curiosity. The woman who posted the video saw a large glitter/sparkle in their home and wanted to get rid of it. This person replied to my comment.

Then I did some googling and could not find much. But I found these comments on Quora.

Then I did some more digging around the internet. And found that DEMPG stand for “Direct Electromagnetic Pulse Generator” from this article.

Interview with a former Gang Stalker.Posted on April 9th 2018.

There is apparently a 2012 video in the link showing film to train gang stalkers in Canada. The link in the YouTube video goes to Canada’s official webpage which is recruiting people for survalence operators. I am actually shocked that they just put everything out there in the open. But whatever. Notice that the article and the Quora answers are both with in a week of each other. This could have easily been the same person taking a moment to troll and create a story around an “actual gang stalker.”

So we have a few people “admitting” to gang stalking but I’m not sure if they are trolls or not. Then you have this article where a woman apparently caught 300 of her gang stalker.

Even in the targeted group on Facebook there are a TON of trolls calling people stupid and crazy and making fun of TIs. Like they went through the trouble of joining a closed group with questions to then tell people they are crazy and make fun of them. So trolls know no bounds. So all these people putting this stuff out there could be pranking people who are struggling to find information for their suffering.

I mean if I was trying to collect evidence as a former gang stalker I would definitely have taken pictures/video of the phone and the app and how it works. I would also take a picture of that black box thing. Collect names. Like lots of stuff. But that is just me.

Just a verbal statement from someone who had time with the actual weapons does not make much sense to me. But I am always a skeptic.

I could not find more about this. And the information is a year or two years old (2017/2018). My targeting started officially in 2016 and maybe groomed in 2015.

The one person on Quora explained that people are in the “program” ran by “the collective” because the committed a crime. But I haven’t. So I’m really unsure of the issue. I mean I got arrested at a protest that didn’t go on my record. And a summons for sitting in a park when my feet were tired. And accused of having an once of weed when I had a large bag of fine rolling tobacco that was a gift from a nice man who owned a tobacco shop I frequented. Other then that ……..i have a clean record. I really don’t know what it could be.

I’m still skeptical. I mean anyone can come up with the name DEMPG it’s pretty logical and it uses all the words/lingo that TIs use.

Targeted Individuals: “Gang Stalking Exposed by Police: Hundreds Arrested for Spying on Unemployed Woman”


I orginally had my doubts about this article as it left a LOT of details out, such as if these people will actually be convicted of stalking.

The end of the article caught my eye;
“Gang stalking is not a joke – two women just whispered in my ear that I’m a pedophile,” said Marina Bowen, a gang stalking advocate and victim. “If you think the world revolves around you, then you might be a victim too.”

Now im not gang stalked physically. Im still trying to figure out if i am being gang stalked through technology/satellites.

But again through my interviewing of schizophrenics and targeted individuals in the community there is a HUGE emphasis on calling targets pedophiles/child molesters/rapist. Even though they are nothing of the sort. On the other side of the coin there is also rape and molestation on their end by sexually torturing the victim.

I guess we can all agree sexual violence causes the most amount truama fairly quickly. Many have admitted to me they have attempted suicide one or more times because of this.

I mean this could be well researched info by the one in the article. But for whatever reason this is a fact that the community experienes.

I also wonder if there are two schools of people those who are stalked physically and those stalked through technology/satellites.

One of the things that didnt make sense is that she spoke out against a police officer (didnt say why or what happened), that then sparked the gang stalking by 300 people. Who were coached to stalk her. That is A LOT of resorces for one person. And now the poluce are helping her? Im not dismissing this persons experience but i am saying there are holes in this article.

I want to hear about a win, the details of a law suit, a conviction of sorts. Paperwork! I need more proof. Im still working on mine and im not even sure which way to go anymore. Either direction could be a distraction from whats really going on.

Update Sep 16 2019: for whatever reason i reread the article and it now says its a satire which I don’t remember reading before. I’m glad they think its funny, there are a lot of people suffering whatever the reason is and it is not funny.

Anonymous: Hackers

Just a quick thought. If targeted individuals are harrassed through technology……. Why can’t anonymous hackers help with figuring this out? I mean they can shut down sites and stuff. There has to be a way to figure out the signals.

Also why cant they shut down pedo sites either? That should be an easy one.

Like everyone wants to use their image like they are some matrix hackers but who is actually doing the work?

Just a thought.