“Dark Night of the Soul” is Bullshit πŸƒπŸ’©

This whole concept of “dark night of the soul” is bullshit. At least my version is. 

Life has its ups and downs natrually and yes we gain lessons from it whatever, some times we are lost…. confused, mistake are made whatever. But this concept of the “dark night of the soul”, while it DESCRIBES AN experience it is also spiritually misleading to say you did something to deserve this, or “this is a gift”, you’re turning into lil bitty butterfly to fly away into the astral planes.

Uhm NO, you are being spiritually and psychically abused for no reason AT ALL and you were given a really lame ass excuse fantasy lullaby as to why, called the dark night of the soul. 

SO. You are told to “surrender” MORE, be MORE “healthy”, do MORE yoga, all this “trust the process”, accept the pain and karma and bla bla bla….

NO. You are enough at any given moment. “Learning to surrender” means what? To what? Cause honestly this whole shit was a set up and fuck all of the programs that limit your divine free will! All of them!

FUCK the “Twin Flameβ„’” program (love, lust, heartbreak, relationship, obsession exploitation), FUUuUCK the “Dark Night of the Soulβ„’” (spiritual and psychic abuse) program, fuck “Kundaliniβ„’” (spirit, possession, health) bullshit, fuck the “Conspiracy Theoryβ„’” program (mofos out here trying to find the edge of the earth, aliens that prolly don’t even look like REAL aliens, ghost goblins, government whatever ect). Fuck “Ascencion /Awakening β„’” program (feeling all these crazy “energy”, new earth bs, religious, shamanism, activations, light body “evolution”, empathic, insane 1111 bullshit, “consciousness” bs, “ego death”, past life karma) bla bla bla bla bla. NOPE its all psychological mental, emotional and physical exploitation abusive warfare. No homie you haven’t transcended shit, just jumped from the frying pan into the fire. 

NO, NOPE …. Just no. It’s just prolly possession, which is some “implant” demonic archon program (playing you like video game) you literally possess (have) playing out whether you are aware of it or not. 

Fuck it all….. Fuck “the path“, fuck this fake ass “spiritual journey” bullshit that is meant to control you and make you feel like you’re doing something (wrong or good) with your life. Like your life has no meaning (which is does! And its not to sit here and eat bullshit flakes all day). I mean HEY if you are THAT bored in life be my fucking guest. If you want to take on some bullshit burden of some fake ass past life karma that you know nothing about and has nothing to do with your ACTUAL life, gah head. If that works for you! Won…der. ..ful……. 

All this shit is basically excusing “spiritual violence / abuse” and we want to say as people who want a better earth for ALL, that because someone didn’t get cosmically JUMPED by some demonic archon alien jelly fish thing that they are “spiritually bypassing”, granted some people are just fake ass bitches, but if you want to wear a badge of honor for being spiritually raped and tortures for no fucking reason, cool. Wear your super star 🌟 sticker, I however could and would have done better with out this waste of time. Call me arrogant, but clearly you never had rape simulated on you everyday for two fucking years after being physically raped.

You don’t need it! It’s unnecessary, you don’t need a spirit guide if you are already your best self in each moment. Where are the spirit guides for the rapist?! Fuck fake ass spirit guides too, lying ass mother fuckers, guess what your spirit guides real name isn’t Jim, or Greg or Tiffany or Isis. So already your whole “relationship” is built on a lie! ANY MORE lies you would like to tell your subject JIM?!?

Its a matrix of lies. That’s a truth. That doesn’t make nature any less real or YOU any less human. This is not a “holographic” universe its a holographic bullshit mind matrix that is void of any actual truth or love to confuse and distract the shit out of people frim being their best selves. 

Throat “chakra” game on point cause speak from the heart. Fuck out of here with all this bulshit! And all the lies and manipulation to misdirect and deceive people of the earth!

That’s the new earth!

AH fucking CHOO to all the Bullshit! 

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ARCHONS 🌚 β€˜interdimensional entities’ the negative controllers of humankind

http://ufosightingshotspot.blogspot.com/2013/03/archons-interdimensional-entities.html?m=1

So I think I have settled on the fact that what I see, hear and feel are archon’s. It took me a while to actually see them “3d”.

This sucks cause now I’m a crazy archon “conspiracy theorist”. But this is what I legit see and they seem to fit the description. 

Why I see one stealth in my bathroom and why they are attacking me, or how to liget get rid of them out of my home and life? I don’t know.

I’m not crazy, I hate conspiracy theories or actually believing them, and this kinda makes it more difficult on me in the sense now that I KNOW these are archon’s I have to figure out a way to make them leave.

Sooooooooooo i have a lot of data on them and their nature. As I said prior I gave them the opportunity to co-exist with me and do good in the world (gotta a least try). They refuse and would rather zapp me of alk my energy making it difficult to be active and call me a loser all day. So. We aren’t, can’t, won’t, be on the same team or friends. 

Fuck their racist, homophobic, classiest, religious lookist, sexist, xenophobic, pedophile jokes!!!

God why?! Now I’m a conspiracy theorist damned to be in the dark edges of the internet because its just too real!

GREAT! Now I’m basically illegitimate click bait. 😩

Looks similar to a human cell only the size of my head. 

Spiritual Abuse πŸ”ͺπŸ”«πŸ’£

There is no reason to be spiritually attacked there is no excuse. That’s like a rapist saying she asked for it because wore a short skirt. Fuck THAT!

Victims of spiritual/astral abuse will blame themselves. They will say, “I deserve this because I lied when I was 12 years old” or something just as ridiculous. We seek peace and that’s the easiest route than grabbing at air. But we seek NOW. Dwelling on the pasts on shortens our time in becoming the person we wish to be the best versions of ourselves. 

Our capitalist system says “you are not enough!” , so by this product and subscribe to this lifestyle. Spirituality /religion says you are not enough, you didn’t pray enough, you did something bad, some past life bullshit generational curse, that you didn’t meditate enough, that you didn’t eat organic enough. In relationships, we feel like we aren’t pretty enough, or doing enough or have enough money or enough love or trust. 

So it is NO WONDER these astral parasites …. Spiritual abusers go on to say YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. You’re ugly, fat, skinny, stupid, crazy, no body likes you, you have no friends, kill yourself, no money, you are not good at what you do, you don’t know what you are doing, you need our guidance, unlovable, unworthy, you’re an addict, you will never understand, you don’t have knowledge. 

You will never be enough, when you are! 

I am a complete being. I have my own “dark” and own “light”. I grow as needed. Forced “darkness” or this bullshit “dark nigbt of the soul”, is abused pushed by astral parasites. Saying it’s because you did this or that, that YOU weren’t enough is excusing this program and act of spiritual violence. Finding peace and “learning from” the abuse is the gift we give ourselves to cope and to heal. We weave stories of some past life karma, a curse, blame ourselves. “This happened to me because…………….” 

Outside of that we are excusing unseen and intangible abuse. By subscribing to this idea that pain is our greatest teacher, is superficial and more than likely you never been in a full blown psychic attack.
You are saying our current system, all system are fine as is and should operate and function with no change.

This whole you “change your reality” is bullshit. You know how hard I’ve fought?!? All this law of attraction, most people want car, money love. I want the change, justice, peace, safety for all people! 

NOTE: The demon suggested pain and my smoking cigs (cause you devils advocate). Now do I know smoking is bad? Yes. Do I wish to change that? YES. Do I think I should be raped everyday by some demon for going on two years? NO.
Whatever. But I’m the crazy one.

Fuck this demon! 

Crazy Talk: Jelly Monster πŸ‘»πŸ’”

So I can see the effects of the demon, I can feel them, hear them, but I can’t see the actual demon that’s conducting it. 

I believe that many healer are able to remove the effects but not the actual entity. Maybe some can. But none of the ones I went to. 

So, I see this jelly monster (looks like a clear slimmer) that moves around me. I state previously in my blog that, I don’t think this is the entity but the “energy” it sends kinda like and extension of sorts it copies. Its not easy to see but I see it. I think its the same “energy” that screams repeatedly, mimics other peoples voices and music, repeats what I say, the gives me tremors and that can copy cat emotions like anxienty or headache, intense tension, feeling ill, being high. Prolly other things too like images/vision. Almost like AI intelligence toy, but its not the main and I feel like its being controlled. 

Today I was wondering HOW did the entity pull off things like knowing when my ex (false/ twin flame) was going to call, or what song he was going to send me, when the cat took my chair and I wasn’t in the room. And a few other “prediction” or plain old’ nosiness. 

Either way. My assumption is that this jelly monster was being nosey with my ex or attached to my ex. Something maybe like that. And that’s how it copied his voice and knew info. Some people call it “attachment cords” this one looks like a clear jelly vibrating blob thing that moves around at medium speed in and out of vision some times sparkles if its close by like on my head. But then I’m like how the fuck did the jelly monster get to the edge of Brooklyn? Like it legit floated 20 miles?

πŸ’©πŸ‡πŸŠπŸš†πŸš„πŸš…β“‚πŸšˆπŸš•πŸš˜πŸšœπŸš βœˆβ›΅πŸš€πŸšβ‰

I hope my ex wasn’t harmed in any way. In the beginning I did so many “cord cutting meditations” because I just wanted whatever this was gone. I blamed my ex, i did. But I kept away from him so this demon wouldn’t make another game out of it. I’m pretty sure he is OK and doing fine. But if he went through a fraction what I went/ going through….. I am so sorry, even though none of this was my fault. I never sent ANYTHING to him in any way. Only trying to get through my own heart ache to move on.

Either way. That’s my theory of the jelly monster I have been seeing floating around the house or stuck in the bathroom. 

Crazy shit right? πŸ™

God……….  Why did I have to get the crazy one? 

I feel like I need a blunt and I don’t even like smoking. 🌴

The Trauma of being Unloved πŸ’”

Being unloved and unaccepted and not understood is traumatic.

I was fortunate enough to have a mother and grandparents who instilled a great amount of love and freedom with in me as a child. Most of the times I look back at any punishments I can say to myself, eh…. I prolly deserved it. So for the most part there was love and fond memories.

I was an angsty teenager with my father when he finally come back in our lives, i had some “daddy issues” as stated previously in my blog. I didn’t accept him as an authority figure. But eventually, none of that mattered. I got over it, grew up…. And tried to establish an adult relationship with my dad going fishing and camping and just like “dude stuff”. 

This love, my love and freedom didn’t seem to mix very well in the world at large. Learning the darkness of the world slowly unraveled the love I had. Love was replaced with justice. There are sooooooo many injustices in the world. I felt it was my duty to chip away at them, even at a young age.

But when it comes to romantic love, there is a far worse injustices that happens and you can only wish that what was taken away and replaced with heart ache, will eventually be returned and cultivated.

In most of my relationships I was met with … No love. Even with my greatest love, love went away. The trauma of being unloved is unbareable already. So to have an Entity attachment only enhanced and exacerbated the pain that was already there……. Well you can imagine I am sure.

After each moment of not being met with love, the love I so freely give, I first tried to learn ways I could cultivate it in the relationship. When I couldn’t I tried to figure out what I did wrong. Where I didn’t nourish this love. Only to find the rule never applied to the next. Because it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t something I did wrong.

We often loose “our love” early on, learning to never trust it. Learning that it will eventually hurt us. This is why they say “you must love yourself first” bla bla, that doesn’t make it hurt any less each time.

Do we learn to gaurd ourselves, is that really loving ourselves?

I had one guy I was dating say something like, “I like the way you make me feel.”, well DUH you like the way I make you feel. I’m not playing games, I like you and show it, and I have a relatively healthy sense of self to know…….. I’m not too fond of the way YOU make ME feel but willing to overlook it and continue to show you the love we both deserve.

But…. The adult thing is to be guarded. Right? Paranoid.

When you are met with …… This reflection of not being loved over and over and over and over and over. …… With in the world, with in our relationships,….. And now even with in myself (with this attached Entity). 

You start to become it. You become that reflection. If you were lucky enough to hold on and not as naive as I was to “give it all away”. I didn’t know there was a limit to love. I have definitely found the edge and it is dark and not pretty place. 

Got Weed? 🌴

Where the weed at?

So last night I smoked some weed to see what will happen. Just two or three puffs. Lol it doesn’t take much. I always wondered how my friends could smoke a whole L to the head but whatever.

So smoking almost immediately the voice went into scary mode unlike when I take an edible. Edibles tend to be more popped out. I didn’t “feel” as high as I normally do. When I smoke usually I feel opened up. Exposed to the world. I’ve even felt that way with this Entity completely sober. So its strange.

This time though when I say it went in IT WENT IN to try to scary me. This time felt more like mind control. It was a constant bombardment of EVERYTHING being related back to child abuse. It stated off with the Entity saying, “It….. Was ….. A-pparent………….. To me” trying to suggest that I was this demons mother and hurt it in a past life or some bullshit. And I just smoked my weed and gave it a big NAH.

Kept trying to convince me in every possible way, almost like it did when it tried to convince me it was God. It was like a very strong feeling. And I wasn’t budging. So I decided to watch Once Upon A Time….. And I mean this demon was relating EVERYTHING to child abuse. The most innocent of details…. To the whole storyline. Its almost like i had this Entity just streamed thoughts of child abuse in a mind control manner and just was like NOPE. It was twisting it make it seem like there was even an aundertone of child abuse. And I was just like NOPE NOPE NOPAh! Not falling for any of the bullshit.

Even my dream once i went to sleep, though there where no images, the entiry tried to give a “theme” of child abuse, it almost felt separate like it didn’t even go with the dream but interjected in this strange way, like a tick. It was woa intense. But I’m not falling for any of it.

Not this life, not past life, no other dimensions….. Its a NO!

Either way I might smoke some more just to see how stupid this Entity Demon gets. Not because I necessarily want to talk about child abuse ever again in my life.

This is like mental/ spiritual gentrification. 

Kiss my ass demon!

You Are Welcome πŸ™

I was practicing a Chi breathing technique on YouTube that a friend sent to me.

I noticed some blocks and add ons but whatever I always notice.

Either way, it talked about creating chi and then bringing it back into the body.

I rememered a moment when this all first started happening and my chest extending out past my shoulders felt like I was opened up. That’s when I first started to feel like I was dying.

I didn’t feel much in my center now, just this tender heart. I figured the entity took all my chi, that’s why all I can do right now is sleep, eat cookies and cry about the world.

The guy talking in the video said that we are “the most powerful free energy devices on the planet”.

So I immediately told the Entity, “you are welcome….” And I meant it. I wasn’t being sarcastic as usual. It was a gift.

I figured that I gave (well it took) my energy to this Entity. I just don’t know how to reve my chi back up yet……

…… Wonder if instead of scaring the shit out of me, disrespecting me, violating, if other entity beings whatever where to be upfront? Maybe we could live peacefully. 

Entity would be like, “Yo I really need this chi, I will make it quick.”

They won’t and… Maybe can’t tell me who or what they are. Maybe I’m too peace loving and just feel like if we just put the truth out there it would easier for all of us and work something out. 

Who knows, maybe I would be like “sure homie, you can have some of this chi love!” And i would just go wipe some more up later.

I can give with out receiving. But I don’t know I just need a bit of honesty.

Who knows maybe chi doesn’t even exists. Maybe I am pulling this out of my ass. Maybe they don’t need all this brain electric goodness or this golden chi.

All I know is, there has to be a better way.

πŸŒΏπŸŒΉπŸ‘€πŸ‘½πŸ™βœŒπŸŒΉπŸŒΏ

Crazy Talks: What I See πŸ‘€

Just jotting down some notes.

I don’t see this on anyone else but myself.

There are two very distinct things I see other than the visions. I see the these circle dots that can divide into multipuls. And I see this vibrating heat wave looking thing that moves in and out of me. Think like a clear slimmer from ghost busters. 

So I was commenting on a post to a lady that says she can remove implants and the slimmer thing shot out of my stomach and my stomach/ back area vibrated trembled and I could see it moving around outside of me. 

Noe occasionally I during the day will get headaches or I will feel the pressure on my head and I will hear almost like a distant train tremble vibration. I think this vibrating clear thing is the pressure I feel on my head, the anxiety, its like its the ….. Emotion and sensation maker. I don’t know if it is a separate entity or controlled. My guess it is controlled. 

Now the circle dot thing seems to be the visions/ dreams/ hallucinations/ Logo maker. But I’m not sure to what extent it morphs and uses light. If I pinch the corners of my eyes I see a circle of light in each corner. Not sure if this is bad or good. But I’m sure it plays its part. I have literally seen visions (waking dreams) fade away into almost a logo (a simple none color emoji vision), I have also seems dreams fade as well. 

So I see this dot thing that was never there before as the cause of the visions. And this energy slimmer thing as the cause of the sensations I feel. 
After it jumped out of my stomach it went for GUESS WHERE you guys??!?? My VAGINA! Of course! My vagina! I felt it go there after it shot out.

I’m really over this Scooby doo mystery. Seriously. 

Twin Flame Reboot

I know why the Entity picked my ex (“twin flame”)…… It was because he didn’t love me or find me “hot” or attractive.

I had always wondered why it was him and not my ex (“soul mate” of 5 years), and it was mostly because we remained friends and had great communication.

I mean it pretty much started out that way with my “twin flame”. I wasn’t sure if he even really was attracted to me because he would talk about how models treated him at an events. I didn’t want to be the result of someone’s low self esteem. He was def not a result of mine……… or maybe he was. I guess I gave it a chance because I know its never black or white or that simple, it takes time for people to get to really know each other…… I tried not to let it get the best of me. But eventually it did. 

Its not all his fault. I mean I am demon possessed schizophrenic, so I’m sure that didn’t help.

But I’m pretty sure that is the reason the demon choose my ex “twin flame”. The foundation was mud and our communication was like pulling teeth. And clearly I’m an over sharer because I don’t like there to be much confusion.

My ex was not a “twin flame”…. But a “false twin flame. And was only used to lure me to my suffering.

It gnawed at every once of confidence I developed in my adult life. Widdled down to nothingness because I fell for a few tricks.

Everyone says “things happen for a reason”, I’m really not confident in this experience. It is beyond the words I type. The words your see. This is just the tip of the iceberg because I would never want anyone to dive into that depth. 

I am frustrated and beyond hurt.

This isn’t about “being a victim”. I’m stating facts. I would love for this to be over and go about my day. But yea. I’m ….. Done with it. 

Crazy Talk: Multi personality πŸ‘«πŸ‘¬πŸŽ€

So the voice in my head I THINK has multiple personalities.

There is only one I have telepathy with. Then when the TV is on male and female conversation. And then the one that screams “aaaaahhhh fuck yoooooou” over and over, but that one I can change what it says. They are all mean and judgmental, talk about me like I’m not there sometimes. 

Then sometime when I’m falling asleep I get these buzz zap and a different kinda voice saying very short phrases. 

So the last few were “DUI”, “Jicobe (hospital)”0, then on another day “she’s pressing charges”, and “limited express (bus?).” 

Each time I got those different messages right before sleep it would shock me out of my sleep mainly cause it hurts and its louder. 

So I’m not sure what those are. I’m not making much of the messages because I don’t feel they apply to me. And of course the voice won’t tell me the truth. Even tried to convince me it had something to do with my ex. 

So just jotting those notes down.