Copy Cat 🙀🙏 Smiley Face ☺

Above is a photo from a young girl in my schizophrenia group. We originally started speaking about her hallucinations in the group and she seemed so scared I told her to maybe draw them. To kinda face the fears, showing them she is not afraid. 

At first she was like no, but then some weeks later she started drawing them. And I was really proud of her for facing her fears.

She exolained this one is very different than what she normally sees. And I saw the same one again today as well. 

Some weeks ago my friend “sent me energy” and it looked like smiley face and flowers. I wrote about it in the blog. Her energy was very polite. When she brought her energy back to herself I knew. BUT the demonic energy here tried to copy the look of her energy signature and tried to seem like it was her. But know when it is not. There is always a slight difference from hers. Hers is brighter, faster, and moves. This demons is slow and dull and the smile is different. 

Now this girl drawing a version of the demonic version of this energy that I saw today and its making me upset. 1. Because I pray that its not this demon trying to fuck with her or me. 2. I feel like I should not be around ANYONE like I can’t care about anyone, help anyone with out some bullshit.

They asked me to be a moderator in the schiz group. Cause I give a shit about people and I want people to be OK….. But then things like this just makes me feel like shit.

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Triggered: Goddess Isis 🐝

As I said before when I was a kid my family gave me a lot of Egyptian stuff. Books, kits, games, writing stuff, art …. going to the museum. So it was something that always stuck with me.

But the Demonic Archon was forcing me to say “I AM Isis” and then called itself Osiris (my ex twin flame) and was raping me and calling me a child molestor and then forcing me to be christian and then trying to force me into suicide (“for my twin flame and dying of molestation”) and just all kinda shit. Just fucked up shit. 

And so like you know shit comes up on Facebook about goddess…. Like whatever …. But it Isis came up a few times today and I feel triggers. Like something that was special to me…. Has been defiled. it just reminds me of rape. That was something my family gave to me.

They rape visions as Isis…. Where fucked up. Like idk.

I don’t know what the point of all of that was or is.

So…. Whatever. 

Sleepy Time Tea 😴

So I have been able to get 8 hours of sleep. BUT I wake up every 2 hours with a dream and these demons talking. 

Only for a few days now. But regular sleep is important. I’m waking up fully at 6am and not 3pm. Which is …. Better. 

I actually hate taking the 8 benadryl but will do so if needed.

I’m trying to retain and guide my body while it doesn’t feel like its under my control. I feel as though I have partial control.

But I’m trying to prepare myself for the detox and going vegan which will be a huge change but not one that I’m not use to.

I also want to stop taking so many benadryl and Tylenol. I mean half the time tylenol doesn’t work but I take it anyway hoping it does.

I know that can’t be good for my body but there are folks taking 10+ medications for schiz alone and not showing the desired results.

I’m sensitive but I have a high threshold for pain. But that threshold has been lowered…. When I am being triggered by a demonic voice, have zero core strength and can barely walk down the block now, a migraine out of this world, and constantly being yanked back once I make any strides. 

Usually if it was just back pain I would focus on that pain… And intuitively adjust it with tools I have researched. But if it was too much I def went to a doctor. 

But yea back pain flaring up… I would do yoga or sleep in fetal position to open up my lower back and just adjust the area of pain. It worked usually. 

Same thing emotionally. With break ups…. Yea I was hurt… I would account for where thing may have gone wrong, move on and try to fix that next time. Maybe even become friend switch the person or send them an apology. I’m not above genuinely apologizing for being fucked up.

But I just can’t do all of that now. I don’t have the mental space. Its just having balls thrown at me constantly. So I just end up getting hit any moment I get healed.

Kundalini: Reversals 👆

This is from a Kundalini teacher ChrisM in a group I am in. I like his style. He doesn’t get all distracted with showmanship…. Razzle dazzle. And is usually straight to the point. Which I appreciate…. Cause I’m still “reclaiming my time” after all this demon shit. 

Either way here is the beautiful dialogue:

Chris M: If you are working with me or the information that comes through me I will advise you not to partake of information sources such as channelers. Or mediums or sorcerers and reiki practitioners. All these are subject to extreme distortion due to entity corruption. – chrism (to the group)

Me: I really didn’t want to part take but I wanted to understand what is/was happening to me. And I agree that many have a limited understand of what they are playing with or distorded views.  Still have yet to figure out how to rid my body of these perversions. Big sigh.

ChrisM: do the reversals continuously.

Me: Sorry where are the reversals? I read the (kundalini) safeties and some other stuff.

Chris M:

The Crucible of Reversal

You may have in some way opened yourself and your energetic proximities to the access of other consciousness or entities. In some way through a belief system or a practice, you have allowed certain safeguards to be eliminated from your personal space. Just as people can allow another person into their body so can a person allow these safeguards to be removed.

So you may wish to do a review of what practices you have been involved with that may have allowed this to occur. It can be a teacher who has not disconnected or a healing modality that encourages entity contact. Some of the Reiki formats have these characteristics where a person is encouraged to open to the “Universal Healing Masters” who can turn out to be entities just waiting for that opening. A session with a medium or a desire to channel can have these results. It can be a session with a psychic who is still connected to you or some forms of psychic intervention or healing.

So reach back into your experience past or present and see if you can locate a modality or person or school or teaching that helped you to “open” to the spirits of the multiverse. Ask your spouse to do the same as these can be shared events as well. See what comes up.

If nothing does then this can be an opportunity for you to experience the expression of a “Crucible of Reversal”. In essence you become a crucible of change for any entity that comes into your being. This takes effort on your part and will involve some uncomfortable experiences at first. As you begin to solidify your strength and mature your ethical standards as to include what and how you choose to feel and think and see. The entities that come to you will become transformed by their contact with you. In other words you turn the tables on them and you become the trap for them. As they come they get burned in the crucible of your body, awareness and consciousness. They are transformed by the strength of your intention and the total commitment to the ethical standards that you choose to exude.

This takes a supreme commitment on your part and may be the only reason you are even reading my words. You take the negative and force it by its contact with you to become positive. You change it. I have had to do this and it is effective. It takes commitment and practice, and a willingness to become a walking, talking, fountain of joy. Eager to change the aspects of expression for all who come into your sphere of influence. This includes your body and its environs.

For instance. Sometimes I would have entities of a dark or hurtful nature come to me and command me into the action of killing a person. An older person or a child or whomever. I wouldn’t do it. But upon awakening from this experience I would know that “This day I am to help an older person or a child or whomever”. In this way every hurtful intention or idea or plan or experience or feeling of illness was rewarded with a positive, intention based, balancing of that idea or experience or issue. In the physical real time.

Follow through is the most important action in this scenario. To take it from the astral to the physical makes the interfering entity part of a physically based plan of goodness and helpfulness and love. Many of the dark ones will not enjoy this and they leave. The good ones don’t invade you anyway so there is a balance and an increase of the vibrational expression that you give off. This in turn strengthens your field, which in turn makes it harder for entities to attach and so forth.

Add Kundalini to the crucible after you have stabilized it as a continuous and a solid expression of your life, twenty four seven, with action based experiences of reversals and you become very gifted and very strong. So this in and of itself may be the beginning of a school of activity for you. It’s not easy at first but becomes second nature with practice and follow through. – blessings –

Suicide Squads ✋

So like I have a handful of people I met through my schizo group that I tried to help when they were suicidal. … And my cousin and like….. 

I can barely get through today and I am trying to talk people down from going on a suicidal rampage and burning themselves and having nervous break downs…. And I have no one there for me… As always. 

I ignored my cousin…. The suicide rampage one stopped talking to me and the burn dude calmed down. 

I have nothing to give. I feel like I’m dying. It hurts so much I don’t even know if this is the schiz or not anymore. It’s just so intense ….. I can hear my skull cracking from pressure like a sinus infection.

Idk. The only thing that listens is this blog. I don’t care if anyone reads it.

Idk I can barely make it …. Running on empty…. No end in sight…. And like my friend constantly saying he is going to harm himself …. Is like more than I can bare. But I want them to be ok. 
Omg this hurts so much! I don’t know if it hurts more cause I know its fake. 

EARTHQUAKE in NYC 🌐

CERN is out here opening up the hell gates in NYC. SATAN come get ya cousins! I got at least 30 of them in my house. 

🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🙏

So there was an earthquake here in NYC. I felt a rumble….  But I am always feeling strange things but this felt different.

I asked my parents did they feel that? They said no so I just thought it was another demonic entity tremor when they go in an and out my body. Thought I was buggin.

Then i realized that the entities got real quiet around 4pm-ish my time. It was almost felt like when I have had “energy work” or light work done. They felt far away quiet…. Not as painful. Busy…. They felt busy. Same thing happened around the solar eclipse. 

I joked and said to the demons they were prolly watching the film being made down the street since they wanna direct shit (my life). And then an hour or two later we had a random earthquake here in NYC. 

So im not crazy!!! Haha!

Fuck these demons. They were prolly getting news of the earthquake. Not a big deal oh well. 

Numb 👤 Etheric Overlays

So …. I have noticed for a while now a numb sensation. 

At first I thought it was because I wasn’t moving as much. But YOU KNOW ME overly aware all the time.

So I noticed my hands going numb (especially around the phone). And when I looked there were one of those circles there. Noticed my thighs for months now. 

I noticed my feet/ ankle going numb. And then I felt that energy move up my leg that’s what prompted me to write about it.

Ive seen foreign energy move under my skin and then leave a mark. Either a pictogram (or emoji like) or an X. 

It’s so gross seeing your skin move. Its not like an aliens gonna pop out…. Its like a wave. Its more meshed WITH the skin than under it. 

That’s how the burn me, and talk to me, and poke, vibrate …. Rape. “Punch”…… Is by merging with the human cell or the space in between cells and causing an illusionary sensation.

Hands, arms, feet, thighs. And then my core and head is a whole other thing with etheric animals and beings coming and going as they please. Just …. Uhg. And my 3rd eye is pretty much a big gaping hole at this point. 

And they won’t stop, won’t shut up, won’t leave, won’t provide any “contracts”.

—————– 

The Demonic Archon Alien tried to say its prepping my body for the Isis etheric overlay. 😩😞😒

Suck an etheric dick. 

I said NO! 

Lemonade 🍋

On March 8thh at a staff meeting I was asked who was my inspiration I said my twin sister was. 

My sister and I probably got into a quarrel either prior or sonething and the voice kept saying “You should be nicer to your sister.”

My sister went into the hospital for a sever stroke on March 11th.

I fasted for two weeks in hopes God would hear my cry. I felt like I brought this on my sister by saying that she was my inspiration. That everything I love was being taken away..

A month later (April 11th ish) my sister was transfered to a rehabilitation center uptown where she would say for the next 3 months before coming home while my mental health declined into a poor state. 

My sister is a girly girl…. And she always loved the color yellow and lemons because she always made lemonade out of lemons. She overcame a being told she never walk as a baby, a “learning disability” as a kid and becoming an amazing teacher, and now this stroke. She was scared being in this new place far away.

I was at the height of my delusion. So I thought I was reading minds. So I told my sister if she ever gets scared or worried to call out a code word. I searched for something that only she would know so i told her to say “Lemonade!” in her mind and I will be there. 

Maybe a week later Beyonce dropped the “Lemonade” album on April 23, 2016. I didn’t even bother watching it till much later but I was in shock. I thought my sister was eternally crying out to me from this sign. She was always more Beyonce and I was always more Rihanna fan. Riri’s a little darker…. But I’m becoming a Solange fan more whatever. 

Today I cried watching the Lemonade album. Cause I remembered how I wanted to jump into my sisters body and take on her burden. To fix it for her…   But I can barely fix myself and I would never want her to be in this possessed body. 

Lemonade! 🍃🍋🍃

Sun Lamp 🌞

I’m legit thinking about limiting my electronic time and getting a sun lamp until its warm enough to go outside. 

I’m not depressed other that the fact I have endure the pain of this situation. And I already take vitamin D. My mood is only because of this experience other wise I’m pretty happy go lucky. 

saw some affordable ones so I might just ask for one as an early Xmas gift.

My friend who has also experienced this and has confirmed some things for me told me to look into making a DIY Earthing Grounding mat. I was so use to farming barefoot at my old job when I had the chance or being on the beach. Now I guess the best I can do is fake sunlight and fake earthing until I am able to purge these nasty entities.

The prayers I have been doing seem to only make me be attacked harder.

I know we are suppose to be on Gods side but…… The prayer is for protection from these things and to forgive them. But it doesn’t seem to be working soon after I feel sucked dry as if I’m about to die. 

So idk. The Tai Chi by Eric Pilgrem seems decent. But they just come back.

I look forward to having my feet in the sand on a beautiful long island beach soon as I can. 

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