Twin Flame: I did it to myself

So I was clicking around my sister’s computer to find a new picture of myself to upload for my email photo and I saw a photo I didn’t recognize. And BOOM it was a screenshot my dumb ass took of my ex (false twin flame) and his wife/ baby momma all lovey-dovey.

I took it originally to file under some sort of evidence since this whole experience was about HIM for some reason. Again the Demonic Mantid Reptilian whatever hides behind people or idols.

I am happy that he found love and has a kid (which he said he never would want). But I happy for him genuinely. But I felt every nerve ending set off and a wave go over my body. I wasn’t upset that he has love, but that I know these Entities are taking advantage of my body or Looshing it. So I sat there and stared lovingly at their love happy for them pushing through the pain because I KNOW the pain was false. I stared until the pain stopped. And then I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because I have to endure this ridiculousness and it actually physically hurt a lot. But I know the difference between what is inflicted and what is from me. That sensation wasn’t from me.

I can see their parasites and their flower-like looking connections all over my body so I know it’s them.

I mean I did it to myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have had the photo but if I wasn’t playing Scooby Doo Inspecto gadget magical mystery tales on MY LIFE maybe I wouldn’t! The Mantis’ said this was all for a “second chance” with my twin flame. The Mantis said he put voodoo on me when I started feeling pin pricks all over my body.  So I did feel some typa way about this man but once I go through the illusion and the lies, I realize while we had our own shit and he did hurt me… he wasn’t behind all of this. BUT the Mantid was using his internet persona to get to me.

So I’m not mad he is happy, I’m just mad I’M not happy. they are not exclusive to each other. I can be happy for others who are winning in life (even if we didn’t have the BEST relationship) and still want the best for me. I guess I mention this because that’s what the Mantis’ want they want me to be unhappy that he is happy and has a kid with a beautiful woman (and yes she’s totally goergy).

DEEP BREATH!

I just want to feel better. This has sucked ass for so long.

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What I see: vision: sea of couples 💑

In this world opposite world, of duality which I am not accustomed to, pairing seems so important.

Pair of the opposites or compliments is so important to the Entities game.

I saw a sea of couples that look like on (my assumption) one masculine and one feminine. Just a huge sea of couples.

A few times in my visions a I saw a few couples torn apart. Some couples were actually 1 whole but half. Which is kind of strange conceptually becoming visual. My first thought was twin flames but I doubt that. The couples were bright reds and yellow.

I saw large black lizard walking through them and two parasites with big heads.

I guess I wonder what they mean any they show up in my photos.

I saw this today, from a photo a few days ago.

I guess I feel so alone I wonder if I even belong there…… or why I see this or what’s up with the Lizard monster.

Mirror Mirror 🙇🏻‍♀️

So I felt pressure on my forehead when I was in the bathroom and figured let me look at forehead and see if I see anything.

The Entity never really want me to look in the mirror. Every time I would look at the mirror the Entity would go off about how ugly I am and all the regular bull shit. So I just stopped looking in the mirror just to stop some of it cause I didn’t want to hear it but it’s kind of pointless because he still calls me ugly anyway.

So I stare at my face in the mirror and LOW AND BEHOLD I could see the little gecko looking Entity in the center of my forehead and all these flower and line patterns on the areas of my face that felt pain/tension.

So not only am I ACTUALLY cursed I have to look cursed as well!

I have also seen this on other people on tv I was just wondering if they had it. Not everyone does. But some actors I could see it on their skin.

So what’s the difference between me and them? They have flowers or little astral beings on the forehead….. they are actors living out their dreams and shit….. what’s the difference between me cursed as fuck and them living the dream?

Do they know there is an astral gecko spitting flowers all over their face? Do they hear voices too? Vile things? Does it hurt?

I don’t know!!!

WTf?!?!?!?!?!

Why God why?

Dude 🤦🏻‍♀️

So today some girl put up a chat between her and this guy that she was just talking to who kept bringing up her weight. She told him she would like to talk about something else and he went off about how he deserves a “thick” woman that he can buy a house for and she was unworthy because she is lazy and fat (granted this was in a weight loss group and she is not fat).

I realized that this tone, this voice, this sentiment sounded so familiar. It took me a while to realize that guys were using me and I didn’t know better. Ultimately the Entity took on the persona of these type of men. That only value you if your pretty or thin or silent.

Silent because then they can continue their abusive behavior.

And now I live with the repercussions every moment of everyday cause someone wasn’t raised right.

This Entity mimics these sentiments. Emotionally mentally abusive calling me ugly and fat and yet rapes me as I wake up every morning. I still don’t know why. Or how. Exactly.

I tried talking some dude on OkCupid just to chill and talk and this guy wanted to video chat right off the bat and I wasn’t in the mood to I just wanted to text and he kept on insisting even though I said another time. And he got mad at me. It’s like never enough ……. always have to get more out of the situation.

So now I’m afraid to talk to guys let alone date because it’s always about getting more and progressing so fast. If it’s a chat then it’s phone/video/endless picture requests. If it’s a date then it’s sex. If it’s sex then it’s some freaky shit. And if not that then rape.

Like I just don’t understand men.

People want to say “oh it’s a reflection of you” you need to soul search. We maybe it’s NOT! Maybe you’re a nice person and didn’t take someone at face value. Maybe people are assholes and their everywhere and it’s totally unavoidable. Maybe you are looking for an actual reflection of yourself and the opposite.

Not to mention with this schiz demon if someone is not gentle with me I pay the price and the schiz demon just finished the job for them. So how am I suppose to have human contact? How am I suppose to leave the house? I’m tired and bored and over this.

I can’t imagine this is what God wants. I don’t see how. I hate this.

Between Worlds 🌍🌑

I’m somewhere between honoring my ancestor and wondering if they were deceived by the same Demonic entities that tried to force me into suicide as human sacrifice. The same that raped me, and told me it was God.

How do we know what’s real?

Which one is right?

Just because it is “unseen” does not make it true.

I want to still believe in a good and righteous spiritual world. But I haven’t seen it.

I have seen some things that made me wonder. But I have not seen what I would consider righteous as of yet. And even if I did now….. I’m not sure I would even trust it. As it might just be another trap to get me to become some hide out for the most vilest of demons.

How do you know what’s good and what’s bad?…. spiritually? Who is there to support you and who’s not? Does it even matter, because why are they there in the first place? And who does it actually benefit?

I’ve told these demons to leave every hour of every day for a year and a half and they have yet to go.

All it takes is one move for them to burn my genitals, pound on my chest and stopping my heart, to make me pass out, become to physically weak I can barely move like dragging 80lb around. One move towards the positive. One telling of truth for my body to convulse. One vision to cry one sparkle to feel a migraine.

No one has answers, and if they do……. and say nothing………. then they are an accomplice.

I am Grateful!

I am grateful for food and a roof over my head and family.

But does that mean that I can’t want the better for me?

Honestly I don’t have a choice in the foods that are available. My family only eats frozen peas corn green beans and spinach. And the eat meat at every meal. I am naturally vegetarian and found it was the best diet for me because of PCOS (hormonal imbalance). Even when I tried to stop eating meals with my family my mom would cook these delicious meals and then be upset sayin “no one wants to eat together” so I felt bad and I wanted to be grateful for my mothers cooking only between this demon keeping me locked up and my mothers cooking I just gained so much weight.

I have no idea how to turn my life around anymore. First I fought like hell to fight this demon off going to shamans and shit spending my last dime. And now since none of that worked I figured I would just focus at least on loosing weight…. but the cut my food stamps…. and I would also have stay active which the migraines the demon gives me is out of control it’s like being choked.

So I don’t what to do anymore.

I don’t know how to feel better.

I am grateful. I know this could be worse but it’s also really really sucks. And I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to sit here chasing Benefits (since I got denied for snap and disability ect).

How am I suppose to know God’s plan for me? I just feel like a demons play toy.

How spirits/demons see? 😱

How do spirits, demons, beings see with out eyes?

Is it our eyes?

Do they see something completely different? Seeing is done telepathically consciousness imagination?

But still what would be the reference point?

How does a flower or a nose or a hand look like such when it comes to spirits?

Eyes see because of light waves and nerves that actually decode.

Just wondering.

The demon that won’t leave told me in the beginning “my eyes are your eyes” ………

Unfortunately I was tricked by these Entities into thinking this was a spiritual awakening…… it wasn’t I that woke up (I been woke) ……. but them.

Archon Communication 👽

I BELIEVE Archons (or whatever you want call them), communicate through our photos on social media (specifically).

Like little digital watermarks only they can see or notice. (Or a trained eye).

I see words and beings that make no sense to me. Many of the words in other languages.

That’s all I got.

Just a hypothesis.

Sweet Dreams ✨

I had the first nice dream in a really long time.

The tonality was still darkish nighttime a mixture city life and enchanted forest my grandparents were there. It was a celebration. It wasn’t as fast paced as the other ones or scary.

I feel like I should say something nice in this blog and describe the dream in detail but then it’s like the only nice thing I’ve experienced in this experience and I don’t want to ruin it. But I don’t want to forget it.

I usually remember all my dreams. Super scary and the really nice ones. This was a really nice ones. But as soon as I woke up the Entity was trying to ruin it.

I wonder who’s who in all of this…. what’s what. Is the voice the same one who give me the dreams? If so why would he want to ruin it?

I actually had two dreams. But as I woke up I choose to recall the celebration.

What makes our dreams?

I can no longer say it’s just my subconscious. Although there are subconscious stuff in there.

It wasn’t in this dream but there was a glowing pink and yellow dragon fly/humming bird that seemed soooooo familiar to me. These things that write. There was also a monkey that writes with his tail that seemed familiar. And these other things that look kind of like atoms.

I’ve lumped everything into the bad category. Because all I was experiencing was some pretty sick stuff.

Then with this nice dream I wonder if that’s the lure and you end up paying the price of a dream production with a living nightmare.

I always cherished my dreams.

I just don’t know. This Babalow (basically a Santeria shaman), once said if you have dreams you have a problem. Something like that.

Maybe these dream makers are suppose to visit us every once in a while, in our sleep when we are unconscious. Maybe that is the designated play time. Not our waking life which then equals schizophrenia or if one has knowledge mysticism.

Either way I still appreciate my dreams.

I just wish this all made sense. Maybe I’m not suppose to like them.

I have seen human faces slip back into a Entities appearance when I looked at them directly in between dreams. Almost like glamour.

Idk anymore.

What’s Real?

So there are these flat discs I see with a dark purple, blue or black center and jelly like ripple. Looks like a huge human cell in 3D. These are normally eyes or an energy center of a entity. I also see white tubes in the corns over the room ceiling.

What I see I in photos 2D are trolls, geckos, works, sunflowers, insects, banshees, words, Draco reptilian, aliens, lotus flowers, teddy bear looking things, ghosts, a car, spider webs, etc. Some strange astral cartoon world that’s almost like an acid trip but not quiet cause I can actually confirm it with friends who can see as well in photos.

I hear a dominant male voice and a male and female voice that comes on occasionally. Their personalities objective are generally the same, to position as an authority or superior.

It’s almost like something astral projected to ME and I just happen to see….. now. But I haven’t astral projected anywhere. I right here on planet earth.

My issue right now is that what I am hearing is not correlating with what I see. But either can correlates with what I feel. Which is violated.

So I’m wondering if what I see is even the problem Entity. And that the smaller ones are just tools to violate.

How is this happening.