Dark Web

A friend had inquired about the “dark web” on Facebook and people began to describe it. Someone said that you can use bitcoin to watch someone get killed. 

Sometimes I wonder if someone is doing something to me. I mean there is “radio” like sounds coming from my head, and next and vag. So I don’t know maybe someone has extreme technology to do this to someone.

As I said there seems to be a main “one” that kind of orchestrates the distant scream bubbles, the two talking on the TV, or a “set” which is like almost being submerged in an environment.

I thought if it is possible someone could do this to someone. Maybe I could find out how, and get my life back. 

I don’t know. I would like to think humans are better than doing something like this….. But then realized after reading the comments about the dark web…. That they are not.

I just don’t know. I just want it gone.

Just thinking. Which seems to work against me at times, because this Entity uses it for a story at a later time for its own entertainment. 

Trigger ⚠ Warning

I was triggered today. 

Today was about child brides.

Its not that I am afraid of it, and yes it upsets me because I think a child should be a child.

In some ways I guess back in ancient times, I understood the thought process of having a young wife….. To pop out a billion babies and take care of your old crusty ass. I get it.

But now….. Now…. I thought we evolved.

And it a strange balance because I know this is a part of peoples cultures….. And believe that people should evolve their own culture from with in their culture.

But at the same time this happening in America no problem…. With out even batting an eye…. And this is why our children go missing or end up dead or enslaved.

So, it triggered me. It bothers me. There is no simple answer. I think its wrong. I want a child to be safe….. And not have it stolen from them by patriarchy and misogyny and a psychological problem.

In the same breath…. I’m tired of this Entity trying to convince me this turns me on. Maybe I get upset…. But no it does not turn me on. The Entity builds anxiety in my chest and then it does the rapey thing to to my gentiles like it does all day. But this time selective.

How you go from one year to the other and that’s a turn on?

Its not. It never will be.

And these men out here getting away with this shit. And I’m here trying not to commit suicide cause this shit fucking sucks and feels gross.

Sick of this shit.

And what do you do? To save them? 😢😢😢

👑 Your Crown 👑

In the beginning of all of this. 

After I took the cleansing bath. 

The “Entity” said A LOT of things. I mean it still does. And I am usually sitting here with my head cocked to the side like HUH?!. 

Still trying to learn to ignore it because none of it means anything and even it it HAPPENS to make some sense by some mere coincidence…. Oh fucking well. Nothing was worth this experience and it was a waste of my life and time. 

👑 I was fresh out the break up in the summer of 2015, living with a friend, trying to keep my shit together. I was making sure to go to the gym more since I was bored and wasn’t biking to work as much. 

I remember this moment on the treadmill that I felt my head or what people would refer to as the “crown chakra” feeling it was “opening up”. I was a little worried. I had these strange “gong” headaches i even went to the doctor for, but everything came back normal. I was also worried that the IUD that I had gotten for extra protection with my ex was causing my blood pressure to rise and I went into Google Doctor mode to make sure. So I later got the IUD removed (as much as the doctors tried to convince me to leave it in). 

So this feeling on the skull that was just like my head was wide open. As I was on the treadmill had me a bit concerned. But I just went along and was pushing myself physically to stay healthy for my job.

In 2016 fell into the episode, delusion …. This “Entity” had already laid the grown work, prepped and groomed me. Already had attached this story line to my ex as my “twin flame“. As telepathy, the perfect cover. 

I was at my job and the “Entity” said in the voice of my ex, “Remember who gave you your crown.”

I had looked up why my head would be feeling like this. “Soul Star Chakra“…. “Halo / Crown”, ect… So many explanations. This Entity acting as my ex (“twin flame”) wanted to say he gave me all these things “crown” before being “initiated” and eventually “married” to my ex. This Entity wanted to “give” me all these illusions or hopes or whatever so it could take it away. And quickly put on what felt like an energetic “harness” to make me sit up straight and “act like a lady”.  

Another moment at my job, the Entity said, “she needs a new vessel.” Meaning, my soul, spirit needed to be in another body for my ex to love me. (Crazy shit I know.) But again this was grooming for the suicide it tried to force me into. Said I needed to, “Die for (my ex’s name) by means of child molestion”. So it was going to keep showing me sick images until I committed suicide. 

But things were sick, abusive, it didn’t stop…. It was constant…. It was crazy…. Scary…. Debilitating.

In retrospect, I realized that my crown wasn’t being given, but being taken away, or blocked as my life became extremely instable. 

I can’t say where it exactly began. But I know where thing got crazy. Which was 2016. Right after questioning and trying to stop this obsession with my ex that I did not feel connected to. 

I know I tried my hardest in all of this. Peeling back any delusions. And I will continue to try to resolve this in the best ways I know how. That’s all I got, with all I know.

But no this “entity” never gave me anything. Never will. Just some tricks and some lies, while it takes what it needs to give it self a reason to stay here. 

Facts: “Twin Flame”

I don’t have a twin flame. 

I have a spirit entity that is attached to me that is acting like telepathy or sychonicities with my ex.

I have a spirit entity that influence (or foretells) both me and my ex.

I believe that the spirit entity was attached to me long before my ex, but there is a possibility that he or his own attachments influenced mine. Commanded a new story line. 

This is because I broke up with him in February of 2015 (because he ignored me for Valentines and every special occasion) and I hooked up with some one and a week and a half later got back with him. I think that’s why. The spirit said I cheated. 

The spirit said at that time I got back with him, “you made your bed now lie in it.” 

It was a downward spiral since then.

We officially broke up in June of 2015. 

The spirit tried prevent me from having sex specifically intercourse with anyone else. Tells me to wait for my ex to come back. Gives me specific dates that never happened. 

The spirit tried to mimick the twin flame story line.

The spirit forced me to move to my parents and quit my job (both in very disgusting ways). 

The spirit has also told me to either , kill myself, move out of state and away from my family, or “die of child molestation” which means he shows me horrific images which make me cry, that’s how he made me quit my job. He also said he will take my whole family away. 

The spirit entity has also, “Blessed my house” meaning he cursed it. Many of my family members have gotten sick/ passed away just in 2016. 

He threatens my life as well. My health has declined from stress.

I also don’t want to blame my ex because I will never know for sure if he is actually sitting there holding rituals for my ass. I also do not know for sure if this spirit has been with me longer… Or is a new one. 

If anything happens to me I have this journal here…and an advisor and a few friends that know.

11/29 I asked why are you here again? The entity said, “Because you can hear me.”