Question: Why did it contact me?

Why did this entity reveal itself to me if it won’t tell me, why its here, where it comes from, how it has access to me or got here or what it really is…….?  (!)

Like what’s the point now?

Like people, speculators, healers will give me EVERY reason in the world…. Some story to believe in…. To heal from…. To reconcile. But nah… There is nothing to reconcile. I’m calling bullshit on some of this. Abuse is abuse! I don’t care if YOU can’t see it…. Or understand it. Its spiritual energetic abuse…. With no reasoning.

If this was from a past life…. Can it just jump or attach to my mom or my ex like it keeps saying it will or has? Hmm that doesn’t make sense to make other people “pay” for something by using them. Hmmmmmmmm..

You can sit here and tell yourself that you’re being spooked the fuck out because of arbitrary “past life” if that helps you cope. But all we have is this life NOW. And whatever this is is trying to cheat millions of people out of their NOW.

So its here. They are very obviously here…. Whatever you want to call or visualize them as…… Terrorizing people …. Humans or whatever…. For what?

At this point its opinions are invalid. 

Annoyed, tired, over it.

Mandala Effect and Targeted Individuals

Just some thoughts.

Mandala Effect I wonder if the mandala effect has to do with “targeted individuals”. I mean I wrote it off as just people being misinformed. I mean our memories aren’t always the best. But there is also our “minds eye” or “third eyes” or “imagination” so when we are asked a question we access it in some way. So I wonder if those who believe something to be one way and not the other are under “mind control” as “targeted individuals”. Just a theory.

Gang Stalking. From what I read many people believe they are being stalked or followes by a group or organization. And while this may be true as a “target individual”, one I doubt they would make themselves so obvious. And two its a part of the “paranoid schizophrenia” “play”. In my own experience the VOICE  or Entity, whatever you want to call it…. Would make me believe it was my ex and his friends doing this to me. Then it moved to my place of work and it was my coworkers. Then moved to my home and almost everyone in NYC had something to say about me. Talk about gang stalking, how about about a whole borough “bullying” you? It was/ is intense to say the least and makes it difficult to go outside and engage the world like I use to. Once I realized this is impossible… For EVERYONE in NYC to be talking about little old me things changed. Once I realized it is impossible for my ex and his friend (who lived on the other side of the country) to psychic telepathic access to me to bully me. Things changed. Once I realized that THE VOICE(s) were talking too fast to be two different people things changed. So while it still happens some times…. I don’t believe it. It is just ONE Entity simulating this nasty ass shit.

As I said before, like I wonder if this how people get hurt or go crazy and hurt people thinking they are doing this shit to them, or suicide cause they are lost in some sick simulation overlay. 

Types of voices. You may notice both a pitch or frequency accompanied by a white static noise. Try ear plugs and touching certain parts of your body like ears or neck … Or affected areas or closing your body in yoga positions. The tones may change. But I pray that you not hear them if you are uncertain. The types of voices I noticed are as followed.

Main Voice: I’m not sure if some people are even able to get there. But once you get past the paranoia or characters or actual people that IT is hiding behind … You may find one voice. I’m not sure how that may play out for individuals because each have a different experience. But this is in relation to “targeted individuals” and the feeling of “gang stalking”. My particular Voice or Entity attachment…. Is intelligent, manipulative, obsessive, lies, I could say creative, but for this experience is absurdly abusive and inhumanly psychotic. May present itself as an archetype of authority, God, Jesus, Goddesses, Buddha, Ex partners, Bosses, Satan, Aliens, Angels, Parents, etc so that you feel powerless. Which in that moment may very well feel true. This “Main Voice Entity”, orchestrates most of the experience. The main voice may very well emulate YOU. So while its orchestrating it is suggesting you (light images, memories, or actual “subconscious thought”) how to respond or placing false feelings.

The Scream: This one often sounds like a distant scream that repeats over and over. Usually negative. May be “fuck you” or “bullshit” or “you’re crazy” “you’re ugly” or something that means something to you. Tends to rhyme. At one point I called it Rumpelstiltskin. But repeats it over and over again. This one also tends to be melodic. So you may hear music like sounds off of running water or other ambient sounds like a fan or humming of a car. 

Voice(s) / Gang Stalking: So this one is difficult. One, being paranoid is natural in natural situation. Walking down a dark ally sure. Stepping out of your house to get some almond milk in broad daylight…. Not so much. The Voice Entity is an opportunitist and will exploit any situation. So if you think your Boss passed you up for a promotion it is going to maybe you felt down or depressed … angry…. This Entity Voice will make you go postal… Hopefully not literally.

So my theory is that The ONE Voice Entity controls the “many”. The one that sings, the one that screams in the distance, the one that says your name randomly, the one that make you think people in your life are out to get you (but hey who knows), the one that makes you think your being gang stalked, that the TVor radio is talking to you, talking to dead relativites or people far away, The one that makes you think you heard someone say some crazy shit and they didnt, the one that makes you think you are taking to goddesses or aliens. 

I can’t say what this…. Exactly… But that is what I have realized for myself. It doesn’t make it any less debilitating.

This post is just on voices I could go on about the whole experience. But it rarely ever makes any sense. So as with “targeted individuals” while I can relate with the experience and can see it relate with other experiences as well (spiritual awakening “purging” “dark night of the soul” or Kundalini symptoms and “surrendering”ect) there is always that one piece missing. 

Who, How, and Why?

“Higher self” and suicide?

Hypothetically: Would the “higher self” force the I guess “human self” into suicide?

Would the higher self actually say “tired of looking at you fucking up”? Cause wouldn’t that ultimately mean the “higher self” fucked up? 

Just saying.

I guess I am currently in an ocean of terms, ideologies, beliefs and practices ….. Overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. Nothing fits just right. Does this belief make my butt look to big?

Yes. Yes it does.

Discernment has been so important. Because if I truly believed that this Entity was my ex, or God, or Satan…… I would not be here right now. And as much as I want to forgive this abusive being I also must remind myself of this fact.

Today yet another woman expressed having a very similar experience as I. I mean the white outs, choking sensations (not anxiety) as well as a voice calling her a bitch and saying “I’m leaving, I’m never coming back”. I am sure that’s the tip of the iceberg.  

This is soooo similar to the catch phrases that the Entity uses with me its almost scary.

  • “I’m fired” / “You’re fired”
  • I’m never coming back again
  • You will never see me again
  • I’m leaving / “Go Home”

These are just SOME of the catch phrases there are plethora of others depending on the theme or topic.

So why would two different people (women) on different sides of the world and from different cultures and with different symbols and language have an Entity telling them practically the exact same thing???

Hmmmm?????????????!

Por QUE!

I haven’t spoken to her directly to exchange any other notes. But Yea…… It is exhausting. I am glad she was able to position herself to at least stand her ground and know it is NOT her and she is NOT just schizophrenic……

As I said before I ….. I am (personally) where I have attributed all these “mystical” experiences (“angel” sparkles, shadows, spirits, telepathy, “voice of god”, aliens whatever) to this Entity. So…. My beliefs are kinda at a standstill …. But at the same time I look for information.

My only thing is does my exclusive experience with this Entity emulating them mean…. They do not exist? That’s why I try not impose of people too much. I mean whatever gets you through the day. But at the same time I’m about truth AND safety and when those things are compromised…… On a fundamental level….. The “self”….. What do you do other than hold space for each other? 

Allow one to draw their own conclusions with out imposing too much…..

Whole Lotta Nothing

I’ve researched, ascension, awakening, kundalini, Ifa, witchcraft, curses, magic, psychology, self help, twin flame, gods/ goddesses, chakras, diminsions, 3d/4d/5d, matrix, aliens, incubus, demons, angels, spirits, tree of life, christianity, crystals, herbs, grids, energy, soul ties, entities, ect ect ect….. 

And I still don’t know what’s going on with me. I still don’t know why I lost everything. I still don’t know why this entity is attached to me or how. I don’t feel anymore enlightened just a bunch of information I have no idea what to do with… or may or may not apply to my own healing in this moment. I still don’t know what the fuck 5d is…. idk if I’m even a twin flame even though I’ve had all the symptoms. 

All my beliefs are in question. And while I believe firmly in God, is “energy” just spirit play? Spirits are one hell of a drug!

I can question. Yet I haven’t found any answers or solutions.

Where’s the light at the end of the tunnel? Where’s the enlightenment?  Ascension?  Love? Light? Gifts? 

If anything I feel my natrual born gifts were taken away. Where’s my inheritance?

Do we fight for nothing ?