Twin Flame: I did it to myself

So I was clicking around my sister’s computer to find a new picture of myself to upload for my email photo and I saw a photo I didn’t recognize. And BOOM it was a screenshot my dumb ass took of my ex (false twin flame) and his wife/ baby momma all lovey-dovey.

I took it originally to file under some sort of evidence since this whole experience was about HIM for some reason. Again the Demonic Mantid Reptilian whatever hides behind people or idols.

I am happy that he found love and has a kid (which he said he never would want). But I happy for him genuinely. But I felt every nerve ending set off and a wave go over my body. I wasn’t upset that he has love, but that I know these Entities are taking advantage of my body or Looshing it. So I sat there and stared lovingly at their love happy for them pushing through the pain because I KNOW the pain was false. I stared until the pain stopped. And then I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because I have to endure this ridiculousness and it actually physically hurt a lot. But I know the difference between what is inflicted and what is from me. That sensation wasn’t from me.

I can see their parasites and their flower-like looking connections all over my body so I know it’s them.

I mean I did it to myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have had the photo but if I wasn’t playing Scooby Doo Inspecto gadget magical mystery tales on MY LIFE maybe I wouldn’t! The Mantis’ said this was all for a “second chance” with my twin flame. The Mantis said he put voodoo on me when I started feeling pin pricks all over my body.  So I did feel some typa way about this man but once I go through the illusion and the lies, I realize while we had our own shit and he did hurt me… he wasn’t behind all of this. BUT the Mantid was using his internet persona to get to me.

So I’m not mad he is happy, I’m just mad I’M not happy. they are not exclusive to each other. I can be happy for others who are winning in life (even if we didn’t have the BEST relationship) and still want the best for me. I guess I mention this because that’s what the Mantis’ want they want me to be unhappy that he is happy and has a kid with a beautiful woman (and yes she’s totally goergy).

DEEP BREATH!

I just want to feel better. This has sucked ass for so long.

Advertisements

Twin Flame: Illusion of Unconditional Love

So I will alway think about things differently I don’t go with the status quo and as much as I want to be a part of SOME clique I will usually be the black sheep. Only once did I feel a part of a team that actually challenged and cared and then BOOM schiz happened.

ANYWAYS…..

So have you noticed that “unconditional love” for your twin flame is a condition of the “twin flame” experience. FUCK THAT!

If someone is fucking up or hurting you, you tell them! Of course you want to check yourself and make sure you are not trying to hurt them back but check that shit! Unconditional love doesn’t mean taking anyone’s shit. That includes separation and taking false vows of chastity because that’s what this Entity forced me into.

Because that’s what it made me believe that would bring my “twin flame” back who was a false one.

You can be both fierce and loving. You can tell someone they are fucking up and still love them and not cower into this delusion that love doesn’t rock the boat or is silent.

Because then you are simply in a relationship with yourself doing all the work for both of you and THAT is not fair and that is fucking up.

I’m not a twin flame but that’s what ushered me into schizophrenia. So it’s a major part of my story and who I am. But who doesn’t want an eternal healing love? But at what price?

I’m not going to pay for anymore healing. Healing and being able to heal is a gift. And our world CLEARLY needs it now more than ever. NOW LOOK at the world once capitalism got its paws on healers and churches and religion and spirituality.

Look at it!!!!

But for only $1,111 I can fix your problems connect you with your twin flame, clear all your blocks, get you that dream job, manifest a life worth living.

?

Spare me. I get it we got bills to pay. At this point they are better off calling it therapy, than spiritual services. Costs about the same. Spiritual indicates you are actually working in other realms and being effective.

Either way if I come off as bitter oh well I spent more than I have to get rid of the black magic Entity that I some how accumulated after my ex. But whatever I’m just gonna keep going on and on and on and on until I know the truth AND this stupid gross shit stops!

What I see: vision: sea of couples 💑

In this world opposite world, of duality which I am not accustomed to, pairing seems so important.

Pair of the opposites or compliments is so important to the Entities game.

I saw a sea of couples that look like on (my assumption) one masculine and one feminine. Just a huge sea of couples.

A few times in my visions a I saw a few couples torn apart. Some couples were actually 1 whole but half. Which is kind of strange conceptually becoming visual. My first thought was twin flames but I doubt that. The couples were bright reds and yellow.

I saw large black lizard walking through them and two parasites with big heads.

I guess I wonder what they mean any they show up in my photos.

I saw this today, from a photo a few days ago.

I guess I feel so alone I wonder if I even belong there…… or why I see this or what’s up with the Lizard monster.

Feeling Anxious 😭

I feel really anxious today like I want to do something other than lay around the house and practice not talking to demons and regaining my strength. 

I made a whole excel file on detoxing which you will be surprised how insane it is. Very detailed from information from Hulda Clark and Dr. Sebis and this other guy. Its kept me busy …. Like waiting to jump rope…. But not there yet.

I’m bored and in pain and more bored… Headaches out of this world…. Tired of talking to demons. No one really wants to talk to me… Like my sister just zones out. I use to call myself “jiggly puff” from Pokemon cause it was a Pokemon that would sing but the song put people to sleep and then it would get offended and scribble on people’s faces. I just don’t scribble on peoples faces. 

Bla I’m bored, kinda over talking about schizophrenia and suicide…. Archon’s and demons… racism and pedophiles.

Like has been reduced to debating pedophiles, sexual assault and racism with an archon demon while it waits for me to die from cancer or suicide.

I just wanna live life. Like its not like I have that much of it. Shit. I’m just use to working hard and seeing some results…. And I’m not seeing the results. Like yea I’m out of the delusion…  But it doesn’t stop the demon from debating my relationship with my ex. 

Ive thought more about my ex’s (twin flame) life than I was able to think of my own. I mean this demon made me think about his current life, past life, etheric life, future life, non existing life….. Shit cat life…. Twisting 6 months of relationship into a 2.5 year sprawl of fuckery. Like everything thing this man said was twisted in 10 different ways to fit this demons agenda. 

And I don’t know why.

My ex doesn’t give a fuck about me! Like sure he MAY be like “aww sucks!” And move on with his life…. But he doesn’t give a fuck and I am forced to think about him… Pedophiles, incest and racism…. Him AS a pedophile… I was forced to watch in visions from this demon. 

So no one on earth can defeat this demon? 

This demon is that powerful? 

No one?!

Twin Flame Trigger 🔥🔥

everyone wants to be a twin flame expert because it equals money now.

this one guy is out here saying twin flames are the same as the indigenous concept of “two-spirit”. and it’s pissing me off.  One cause people just can’t seem to stop exploiting indigenous culture for gain and two-spirit is NOT a twin flame.

if you wanna say two spirits are actually living inside of you then SURE let’s say that … shit, i got like at least 3 fucking with me inside.

like, stick to yall new agey twin flame shit and talking about going into union for a decade.

two-spirit is a third gender recognizing that we hold both “male” and “female” traits and not conforming to gender roles based on sex. It has nothing to do with twin flame. Stop dragging indigenous info into yall bullshit to make it seem all sacred.

tired of these hoes.

I unfollowed a lot of twin flame stuff I don’t watch the updates, now still everyone wants to give their “twin flame union update” every month in spiritual groups so they can catch people they can coach for cash money.

the guy who is saying twin flame and two-spirit is the same thing is the one who told me I’m NOT a twin flame. charged me $250 to tell me shit and some shit I could have gotten off of youtube. And when I told him it didn’t work he said it was my fault and I wasn’t trying enough. The only thing of value I got out of it was him telling me I wasn’t a “twin flame” which is fine cause it was just a demonic archon thing raping me anyway. The entity fell for it and started acting differently but that didn’t stop this demon …. just confused him.

ugh I’m kinda getting sick of it all.

I know I’m being placed in these places for a reason… but people are really pumping a lot of bullshit to get paid. When we got more work to do other than worrying about when you gonna get to fuck your ex/ twin flame.

you know a little girl hung herself because she was bullied in school. where the FUCK does she get an idea to HANG herself. she was like 5. Fuck these demons and fuck everyone making money off of people telling them lies.

 

Twin Flame or Alien Love Bite? – Alien Orchestrated Human Bonding Dramas

https://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/vida_alien/alien_lovebite01.htm

So this article only speaks on the aliens love bite but I will also look up information if someone has written anything on the direct correlation between alien love bites and twin flame.

If you think about it it makes sense. Entities supposedly feed off of negative energy and whats worse than a long drawn out longing for the love that is unrequited?

What’s funny is that many many many in the “twin flame” community are also those in the “love and light” and yet seem extremely unaware. 

There are teenagers on YouTube and forums BEGGING to meet their “twin flame”, and that actuallybsvares me because it is something way beyond you “meeting the greatest karmic love of your life”, if anything it’s bullshit.

What it really is, is having extreme emotions and a longing for love that more than likely you will never get as long as these Entities are involved because they are playing you like a puppet. They watch you, they will pretend to be your twin flame to so sexual things to you.

And if you finally lay down the card call twin flame, it only gets worse. Etheric love making with your “twin flame” becomes entity rape. Spiraling down a rabbit hole of spiritually reasons that you feel a pain that is not justifyable until you hit the bottom and ran out of reasons…. That bottom is called Schizophrenia. 

Schizophrenia is torture with no story line other than your own freedom and soon the freedom of humanity once you realize how to humanity has been hypnotized.

Its sad, but I’m not quite sure why, of course “harvesting” negative energy or whatever, but with all of this technology being used couldn’t they figure out to replicate “negative energy to feed off of”? I mean humans are growing ears on rats, I think intelligent aliens can come up with an alternative method to meddling I. Human affairs and torturing the population for “negative energy”. 

I wonder if all the people making money off of twin flames actually explain this to people? Or do they profit from peddling a delusion to keep making money? 

And THATS where the spiritual community got me fucked up. And they have nerve to speak about religion. 

“Twin Flame”: Entity attachment. 😱💔👥

It took some time. Some feeling around in the darkness. But it was confirmed, and is why many “healers” had a difficult time relieving me of this entity. 

Because there were two. 

Of course there are a few other ones I can see floating around the house that I have mentioned before. So far they come and go feeding off of me as they please. 

But the two main one, one I believe has been with me for a long time and the other I believe I picked up from my false “twin flame”.

The reason I believe this to be true is because the one that has been with me along time (and yes fuck you too) is way more subtle and quiet in its bullshit. The one from my ex is aggressive and psychotic and loud! Also knows his voice WAY too well and isn’t able to mimic others voice with such accuracy.

As much as I didn’t want this to be connected to my ex it is. He didn’t necessarily know he had one or passed it on consciously. If he did, that is for him to live with. But I want to believe people are inherently good. So…

I realized that I didn’t start hearing a very LOUD voice until I went to his house. So whatever is here now is both one that has been with me and one I got from being with him. 

It is a sad realization. 

That I suffer because I tried to show someone love and was rejected. I guess that is what made me an easy target. 

I do not blame him. But this just means we must be more conscious of how we treat each other. What emotions we play on.

I’ve done a lot of work to remove this. Nothing has worked fully. At night I am feed upon as much as I try to push them out of my cells with TRE Breath Work. Not sure how to do that with my brain  They always wiz on by. To feed off a negative emotion.

One truth discovered.

Still trying to figure out how to resolve this. 

Spiritual Abuse 🔪🔫💣

There is no reason to be spiritually attacked there is no excuse. That’s like a rapist saying she asked for it because wore a short skirt. Fuck THAT!

Victims of spiritual/astral abuse will blame themselves. They will say, “I deserve this because I lied when I was 12 years old” or something just as ridiculous. We seek peace and that’s the easiest route than grabbing at air. But we seek NOW. Dwelling on the pasts on shortens our time in becoming the person we wish to be the best versions of ourselves. 

Our capitalist system says “you are not enough!” , so by this product and subscribe to this lifestyle. Spirituality /religion says you are not enough, you didn’t pray enough, you did something bad, some past life bullshit generational curse, that you didn’t meditate enough, that you didn’t eat organic enough. In relationships, we feel like we aren’t pretty enough, or doing enough or have enough money or enough love or trust. 

So it is NO WONDER these astral parasites …. Spiritual abusers go on to say YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. You’re ugly, fat, skinny, stupid, crazy, no body likes you, you have no friends, kill yourself, no money, you are not good at what you do, you don’t know what you are doing, you need our guidance, unlovable, unworthy, you’re an addict, you will never understand, you don’t have knowledge. 

You will never be enough, when you are! 

I am a complete being. I have my own “dark” and own “light”. I grow as needed. Forced “darkness” or this bullshit “dark nigbt of the soul”, is abused pushed by astral parasites. Saying it’s because you did this or that, that YOU weren’t enough is excusing this program and act of spiritual violence. Finding peace and “learning from” the abuse is the gift we give ourselves to cope and to heal. We weave stories of some past life karma, a curse, blame ourselves. “This happened to me because…………….” 

Outside of that we are excusing unseen and intangible abuse. By subscribing to this idea that pain is our greatest teacher, is superficial and more than likely you never been in a full blown psychic attack.
You are saying our current system, all system are fine as is and should operate and function with no change.

This whole you “change your reality” is bullshit. You know how hard I’ve fought?!? All this law of attraction, most people want car, money love. I want the change, justice, peace, safety for all people! 

NOTE: The demon suggested pain and my smoking cigs (cause you devils advocate). Now do I know smoking is bad? Yes. Do I wish to change that? YES. Do I think I should be raped everyday by some demon for going on two years? NO.
Whatever. But I’m the crazy one.

Fuck this demon! 

Crazy Talk: Jelly Monster 👻💔

So I can see the effects of the demon, I can feel them, hear them, but I can’t see the actual demon that’s conducting it. 

I believe that many healer are able to remove the effects but not the actual entity. Maybe some can. But none of the ones I went to. 

So, I see this jelly monster (looks like a clear slimmer) that moves around me. I state previously in my blog that, I don’t think this is the entity but the “energy” it sends kinda like and extension of sorts it copies. Its not easy to see but I see it. I think its the same “energy” that screams repeatedly, mimics other peoples voices and music, repeats what I say, the gives me tremors and that can copy cat emotions like anxienty or headache, intense tension, feeling ill, being high. Prolly other things too like images/vision. Almost like AI intelligence toy, but its not the main and I feel like its being controlled. 

Today I was wondering HOW did the entity pull off things like knowing when my ex (false/ twin flame) was going to call, or what song he was going to send me, when the cat took my chair and I wasn’t in the room. And a few other “prediction” or plain old’ nosiness. 

Either way. My assumption is that this jelly monster was being nosey with my ex or attached to my ex. Something maybe like that. And that’s how it copied his voice and knew info. Some people call it “attachment cords” this one looks like a clear jelly vibrating blob thing that moves around at medium speed in and out of vision some times sparkles if its close by like on my head. But then I’m like how the fuck did the jelly monster get to the edge of Brooklyn? Like it legit floated 20 miles?

💩🏇🏊🚆🚄🚅Ⓜ🚈🚕🚘🚜🚠✈⛵🚀🚁⁉

I hope my ex wasn’t harmed in any way. In the beginning I did so many “cord cutting meditations” because I just wanted whatever this was gone. I blamed my ex, i did. But I kept away from him so this demon wouldn’t make another game out of it. I’m pretty sure he is OK and doing fine. But if he went through a fraction what I went/ going through….. I am so sorry, even though none of this was my fault. I never sent ANYTHING to him in any way. Only trying to get through my own heart ache to move on.

Either way. That’s my theory of the jelly monster I have been seeing floating around the house or stuck in the bathroom. 

Crazy shit right? 🙏

God……….  Why did I have to get the crazy one? 

I feel like I need a blunt and I don’t even like smoking. 🌴

Schizo + Disassociative Identity 😱 (+spirituality)

So I quickly read through this article on Disassociative Identity Disorder by buzzfeed. 

As I was reading through it I had this notion while I was trying to fully understand if the “personalities” are acted out or if they are observed. I know of a lot of people who also have “black outs” or periods of time they don’t remember.

Prior to “becoming officially schizo”, there was a period in time where I started to not feel “like myself”. I even told my ex twin flame. I didn’t know if it was because I never dated men prior. 

I just felt Angry, really really angry, mistrusting, paranoid, obessesive, lustful.

I could not accept this change in personality. I tried every method to reconcile these feelings with in myself. Lol spells that didn’t work. I couldn’t talk to my twin flame openingly so it only made things worse.

In short I feel like prior to schizo, my “personality” change could have been a disassociative identity and the more I resisted the worse it got, until I cried and cried and cried and cried, and boom full on 24/7 none stop schizophrenic.

On the spiritual aspect to this was that it almost feels like a spiritual possession of sorts was happening slowly or I was unaware, and I restisted so much. I kept questioning always “why don’t I feel like me”, and those “spirits” demon alien whatevers had been stalking me for a while. So when I resisted so hard, looking for answers reading, shamans. And finally…. There it was….. Even through the schizo I resisted resisted and here right now to tell you, cause if I didn’t I would be dead. 

Its like because I wouldn’t fall for full possession (disassociative identity) it aimed for schizo (demon haunting), and went to the worse thing in the fucking world as torture (sexual violence, molestation) as a mode to get me dead or locked up or just plain old looking crazy, something not good.

Idk that’s what came to mind from my side of the story. I have no idea why these things are here or choose to torture me. 

http://bzfd.it/2xXx1pA