Trust The Process?

When i was a camp counselor and peer educator we had a saying “trust the process”. Im in tears rn because i know i am impatient. And i mean granted the demonic torture ……… I have been holding on for 3.5 years and i know you cant like rush God….. But this hurts and sucks and its gross and i just wish it would end.

I just get all these memes on my feed to hold on and Gods got you and …… I guess i never thought of God like literally saving me. Like be honest i just thought of God like just apart of everything ….. And not some hand that would come down from the sky and save me.

But i need it. I need the hand of God to come out of the sky and save me from these demons. Frfr!

Im so confused. And i just need God in my life right now. But i know i am suppose to “trust the process” and settle all the bad things that happened as for a grander plan. 😕 but idk.