My Heart πŸ’”

I think I’m going to have a heart attack. Even though my vitals are generally clear they won’t find out why and it will be a mystery.

Even though I am actually relieve that my ex has found love and happy he will start a family.

I on the other hand am still tortured in his name. I’m still raped and pedofiled in his name with his image. Even though my nerves are shot and my hearts in the right place the Entity continues to clench my heart in my chest making it seem like anxiety or pain or heart break every time my ex is mentioned.

So while I am happy for him …… I love to see people win. I am loosing everyday. By what I see hear and feel. Each breath this demon takes away, each skipped heart beat, each lie, each moment I am too tired from pain and torture to actually live.

I know I was the one to check up on him. Maybe I though the truth would stop some of the madness. The Entities telling me I am being tortured to marry my ex. And all other kind of crazy things. I though maybe it would stop but it’s only got worse. Saying sick stuff about their sex life and making fun of the fact I can’t have a child. Just twisted stuff.

Maybe I should have known better. Their is no cure, not enough therapy or shadow work or root work or safe or bath ….. it seem no amount of praying. Will cure this.


Monster Logos ❀

Not all but many of the “energy”, entities, aliens, archons whatever you want to call them have a … Logo of sorts. I would assume, since they seem to be a hivr mind ad they attach to a humans individuality they long for that same separation. Thus a representation …. A logo of themselves of sorts.

Either way….. Each being…. Yes is individual in a way or for the moment…. And they CAN tether to you to sustain it self itself in whatever form that truly is. 

Just as they tether they can disconnect…. But who wants to find a new victim to learn? 

No I have seen “energy” or Entities that DID NOT connect to me physically and did not force itself to stay in my field or my home. 

I have to keep reminding myself there is a good spiritual world. And just because I have been forced to see this side that doesn’t make me a bad person for trying to understand and not leaving it to prayer alone. The Entities often try to guilt me…. Saying I’m a bad christian or something like that…. Because I donyt leave this to prayer alone. Again, Me, God, Meds. 

One of my friends told me about a story where she was in s parade in Chile and she fainted and then a shaman help her friend carry her to a place and then the shaman blew smoke on her back and pulled out like a teddy bear smoke logo. This teddy bear was a teather from an entity attempting to attach or hide in her. But was removed. 

Just like I had logos #, πŸ‘½, X, ❀  of all kinda stuff on arms and body. I can see but I can not remove them.

If I look directly where I know there is an “energy field” portal, alien demon whatever…. It will spew something at me…. It will sparkle maybe black maybe white and then I will see a smaller “portal” near me or a logo on my skin or my third eye. 

When I take photos of my face…. It legit looks like a child scribbled on my forehead. Especially the 3rd. I don’t know how long they last, or if they wash off in a shower… Or what. 

But sorry we want our people to be spiritually OK they need to know this shit good or bad.if you are walking around with a naked lady in your arua masterbating then that’s fucked up. That’s what I saw in this one guys field…. And he knew what I was talking about. I never a full figure before. 

I have no interest in playing with these entities…. Or anyone else for that matter when it comes to this. I seek to be free of the bullshit that is not me. Like this is basic shit. 

Exploitation of Pain (The Healer on TLC) πŸ‘

These beings exploit pain! 

ANY! Emotional, mental, physical, ethric, environmental! 

I was watching “The healer” and demon tried to insinuate that this guy was putting evil energy in the people he works with.

But honestly what I felt was he was removing the exploitation of pain out attachments out. I can see the pain attachments. That is my assumption. The healers light or energy is moving it OUT not in. I wonder what he sees. 

I had a toothache one time….. And a few times I would say the words love and the tootheache would go away for a little bit. But ever since this evil energy has attached to me…… I had a toothache and it was pumping that area full of painful energy to a level that is not OK for a human. 

So I know these entities exploit pain anyway they can. Sad about your grandma who passed… Exploit…  Back hurts a little bit…… let’s make it crippling, childhood traumas…… LETS HIT THAT NOTE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. . 

Seriously fuck these demons. 

Tree of Life: Archon False Chakra system

This is EXACTLY how they set up the false chakra system over the body. I can see it. Except the first two on the side are closer to the temple/ears and the shoulder one is under the arm pit, the root being the most important extends from the thigh area (inner mostly) to the butt area so to debase your vibrations. 

It’s bullshit. I never had this shit before, I never agreed to it, I never asked for it.  I did yoga like what three in my life after this all started to calm mass ass down. Now a bitch can’t be flexible with out worrying about being possessed?

These chakras are made from the same stuff floating all over my house and spitting sparkle balls at my forehead or whatever it does. 

It’s soo fux up. No one should be forced into this. 

This is so sad that this is all false.

Understanding Space: Portal?

So there are a few things going on.

There is what I see, which look like Large Human Cells (sometimes with symbols inside) all around the house. And then there is what i see in Photos. Which seem a little more detailed, in appearance. Then there is what i hear and feel. Which i am not even sure correlates with whats going on.

I have been taking photos over the last 5 days of my house and my body to see if there was any progress. My friend sent me some energy with flowers and that was really nice. But for the most part I still see these….. projections of sorts.

Now i see the circles, and i am wondering if each circle (Human Cell/ Archon Jelly fish i talk about) is directly related to one of the Entity Projections I see. in photos At least the major ones.

So far I see in photos: A medusa/ banshee looking woman, reptilian looking dude, an insectoid (maybe 3), trolls (maybe a few), Buddha looking guy, “Osiris” looking dude with a reptilian under), and MAYBE an Isis near my bed. I see like other little thing here and there, like one that looks like Stitch from lilo and stitch, and a bunch that look like geckos heads, a pig, alien heads and bunch of other things. They all have a ghosty look to them. Almost 2D holographic appearance to them.

The Osiris and Isis are gone now from what i can see. Still see the medusa lady and i know reptilian looking dude is still here, and some crazy gecko things, a troll.

What i see with my eyes: X, O, 8 infinity signs, #, 4 horizontal lines, human cell looking blobs, one with many circles with in each other (sleep one), sometimes an alien head or just eyes, these kinda black spider blobs, My friends smiley face and flower energy she sent me. Most of it is purplish, blue, black or white tone to it.

SO i guess what i am wondering is if what i see (the symbols) are directly related or a portal for each spirit projection i see in photos. 

I am also wondering if this a human sending these entities, talupas, portals or whatever to me as well. Been thinking about this since my friend sent me the smiley face and flowers. 

I live in New York City, so there is bound to be many spirits or whatever these things are. Im not afraid of them, but when they attach to me in any way my energy is zapped and its extremely painful. Half the time i want to eat immediatly after. I don’t know if its just me or my family. If this has been going on before i got here, or if this is something i brought here because i was so sad after a break up.

Im trying to stay a bit logical.

I want to make sure these things are cleared out before i ever choose to leave for my families health. Whatever is here, i can not see being directly from my family to be honest (like a generational curse). And its not like its a loved on that passed on, and they seem to seek to harm.

I really want to clear this for my sister, she has been looking more and more tired lately. Not to mention they threaten all my family, friends and loved ones anytime i figure something out or try a method to get rid of them. My sister is pushing herself to the max to over come this stroke (which for some reason i associate with these entities). So like i really want my family to be ok now that I can see and have a better scope of whats happening or how they move around the house.

I put prayers on all of my mirrors as directed by one website, burned some sage, prayed. I’m trying so hard. This is not fair to my family or anyone if they are trying to hurt me.

I know this stuff sounds crazy, cause it is!!!

It doesnt even seem real. There is some part of it that is real, like the fact that it makes feel like shit everyday. But im not even sure about this ghostly looking projections in the photos.



Talupa’s RevisitedπŸŒΏπŸ‘€πŸŒΏ

So Talupa’s are thought forms. Thought Forms I guess can be created. And can be sent by other people. How I don’t know. 

I can see them. But I dont know how they get there.

My friend sent me a picture and I could see a very sexual female figure in his aura. I have no idea how it got there. I had no judgments as much as the Entity with me tried to push ideas. I told my friend I could see it and confirmed that yes “that’s the one that sins”. And that she said “oh go oh god”. 

My friend suggested that I create a Talupa of my own to handle all the ones sent to me. I see at least 11 in my home and possible 18+ on my body. As well as some other crazy stuff like a bunch of dots. I’m sure I could create one, but I don’t know the full knowledge of doing so I don’t feel comfortable doing so.

I know that when a friend gave me a reading she said my ancestors where druids (not 100% sure about that) and I should call on them to feel safe at this time. That last time I saw my ex I did call in my “ancestors” and I’m pretty sure there was a teddy bear in there, but I think that was because I took an online quize and it said I was a bear totem at the moment. And I might have thought about mermaids as well. Either way….. I don’t see druid, teddy bear or a mermaid anywhere in my house or around my aura….. So I for sure did not create these things that are here. 

I would Google what I see only after I see it. 

The thought form talupas are 2D for the most part they can seem 3d and do have a thickness to them that is visable but usually flat images.

I don’t know how they get here, how someone sends them or how to stop them. 

I told the Talupa(s) that are here to go back to their creator and tell them to clean up this mess. Instead of me trying to figure out how to make one and creating more of a mess in my mothers home. 

If I was it would create a vaccum void that sucked them into nothingness where they could never harm another person again. But I won’t and its not my mess to clean up. 

Its fucked up IF someone truly sent this to my life and mothers home against all free will.

I had a few readings down before this all really got out of hand and one said I was “a play thing” a “lab rat”. I just thought that she was saying my ex was using me. But I’m starting to think its more “spiritual” than anything else. 

Who ever made this mess needs to clean it up NOW!

I am currently not associating it with anyone. I am not judging (well a little bit, OK a lot). But I am most importantly standing firm in the fact who ever this is, for whatever reason needs to clean this up! 

Active Prayer πŸ™

My aunt even told me that when she got sick (chronic fatigue), a few church members put hands on her and prayed. When one member checked up on her that asked if she was doing better. And my aunt responded honestly and said she did not feel better yet. 

The woman was almost offended and said that my aunt (who prays day and night) was not praying hard enough. My aunt didn’t feel well but still had her wits about her to not entertain a response. 

This “not enough” of ritualistic enactment has me baffled. When we are in the flow, our lives every step, becomes a prayer. The food we eat, the words we say, the thing we do, how we choose to interact and respond to the world. 

This is not to say we are perfect. But it is to say that we are aware, we are in peace and joy, thanks and praise.

This does not mean we turn the cheek to injustices to maintain our peace, but we respond to them from a clear mind and heart. Our peace brings peace to others. 

You are enough at every moment. Enough. 

At my uncle funeral my father said to me with tears in his eyes, “I’m not sure if I believe in God.”, I felt bad he was shaken in his human mortality. He is a nature guy. And my response was that “some people meet god at church, some meet god in nature.” His ethical and deep appreciation for nature, watching the shore lines change with his age. There is something special about that. He stared off. I’m not sure if my words stuck.

I later found out that my father had a huge problem with the church because they would beat them in chatholic school and he would excommunicated from another. The violence that he endured at school is the foundation with all things “spiritual” even incense. His feelings are valid. 

I mean even I could loose faith in a loving God through this whole demonic archonic jelly fish possession take over. But my faith was strengthened. I’m just not going to meditate/pray this many times a day and do this or that because I am enough. There is no excuse for this psychic/spiritual violence that I endure. Just as there is no reason my dad should have gotten a beaten from some nun for some mundane act.

They all serve to distract us from our faith. “Well if God was here this wouldn’t happen”, and at times this feels so true. But that is to keep us from our divinity. To keep us from the flow, in our active prayer and appreciation for Gods work.

And when are in appreciation of Gods work, we become creators too, inspired. God created the trees we carve a beautiful chair out of it (cutting down the rainforests aside). We become co-creators. Not destroyer’s of faith, the body, the mind, the family. We look to build each other up and have faith that in time…… Things will work out.

False Chakra Systems & Archon Possession πŸ‘½πŸ’šπŸ™…

There is nothing wrong with chakras. They are a beautiful way of understanding our body and being mindful. The fact that we used these “chakra” systems as a tool towards some fantasy enlightenment is maybe where we fucked up and allowed for the system to be taken over by “Achons”. This means its purest intent was twisted and used misinform the individual.

I honestly only felt 3. But this was the beginning of my attack. “Root, heart, third eye”, the beginning I felt a cool icy hot swirl over these area and I made the wrong assumption that my chakras were being “activated”. Soon after slowly….. I would start to feel others. Feet, crown, tummy, uterus and smaller ones on my ears and shoulders. 

What I would come to find out is that these “energy centers” were only being exported and the only imported would be pain, confusions, fear, lust, sadness.

I would find out later that that these “energy” centers my body feeling entities burrowing their energy/vibration into my cells. 

There is also an…….. A hierarchy to these Chakra Archonic entities. The Crown (hearing, thoughts ect) is the head honcho and all the other ones fall in line. The next in line is the third eye (vision, imagination and our real eyes), they play off of each other to act as one cohesive body.

This is a false chakra system to make you believe you are actually making progress when really your cells are probably vibrating lower, you are being distracted from truly being in alignment with yourself. 

Almost no belief system is free from the distraction of a false archon play. In Christianity it would be demonic possession or “voice of god” (crown). 

Again the information/belief is not wrong or pointless per say, its just being used against you so you unknowingly allow yourself to be taken control of.

Having your Crown Chakra blown up basically will feel like possession or schizophrenia. Paranoia starts in the third eye, images memories of the past or future causing anxiety.

Discernment is our greatest tool in this world. I can’t say it will stop an attack but at least we will know we are being attacked and its not some etheric magical enlightenment happening. 

Is magnesium the answer to your sugar addiction? 🍰🍨🍧🍦🍯🍬🍭🍫🍩🍻

I was suggested to take magnesium to help sleep with this schizophrenia. The person suggested that many people who drink a lot end up being magnesium deficient which he believes in can lead to schiz. (That’s a big jump, but I respect the leap). So I thought well alcohol turns into sugar anyway. So I looked up the relation between that. So the magnesium is something I can do and possibly have a doctor prescribe so I don’t have to come out of pocket.

As stated in my blog, I feel like schiz deals many levels of “consciousness”, not the fantasy one like actual levels of awareness like being asleep dreaming lower brain waves or to being on full alertness. Either way sleep is healing. It took an abnormal amount of sleep and rest to heal schiz so far.

Another man in the forum said that when he “started eating healthier that he felt like the voices got worse!” The same happened to me. When my diet was better I also felt attacked the fiercest. So why when we know we are being healthy, getting good sleep, active, in touch with our emotions would we feel like the VOICES are WORSE or we are being attacked?

Why would we be prevented from being our bests selves?

I’m a nerd so I will definitely track results. πŸ™Œ

The red pill or the blue pill πŸ’Š

I feel like gizmo popping out gremlins if I eat after midnight. But I have a cookie problem. 

Part of the taking psych meds issue for me is I don’t want to mask the problem. I mean I do cause I don’t want to hear or see this crap. But I’m not sure if not hearing or seeing them and “raising my vibrations” will make them go away since as I have discovered, they have been here through it all, high vibes only attacking when I was at my lowest.

So part of me wants to know these Archon’s are here or attached to me and the other part wants to just cancel it all out. But there is no real guarantee that the pills work.

I find that these Archon’s are VERY much embedded in our psychology. What we thing is “subconscious” may not be if you are fully aware. Even as I write this blog post (or any of them), I am aware of the influences of the Archon, I also know my intention so that is why they are able to influence. But I am not going to be petty. I pick my battles a try to stay focused on the main goal, so if Archon jelly fish wants to act like and try influence what adjective I use already knowing my stream of thought then fine. Whatever who cares.

I doubt their mission is to be every psychological disorder in the world accompanied by

So when it comes to psychology where is the separation? What is Archon influence, and what part is actually me. 

Or is it the simplest thoughts the smallest intention of thought is then blown up into the most grandest scheme of fuckery. 

Example: I’m thinking about getting something g to drink,  then the Archon comes in and maybe flashes an image of my father working at the kitchen table and then brings shame to me because I’m not wearing a bra. THATS MY FATHER! I’ve already wasn’t wearing a bra, and that’s my father and I’m sure he doesn’t give a shit. The only purpose is to bring sick images and shame. Not to actually be “modest”. Its like some sick twisted Fruedian shit and we are soooooooo well past Frued apparently the Archon’s didn’t get the fucking memo.

So even what we THINK psychology is, my in fact be extremely flawed. Of course we learn things. Someone else’s fear or in comfortability we take it as truth or maybe our own. What we think is subconscious is conditioning being exploited. 

I just know that every psychological and social conditioning whether it was my own or someone else’s was EXPLOITED AS FUCK.

Anyway that’s my thoughts from today.