Best Friend Dating 👩‍❤️‍👩

So in my last post Dating vs Lonely I talked about how my friend found a boo piece less than a week ago. What I don’t think I mentioned is that the voices said maybe a week or two before hand “we gotta find her (my friend) a man to get her (me) out of here“. They said this multiple times prior to her meeting this guy who seems really sweet.

I dismissed it like most of their claims like I’m gonna die and every is gonna die (my family).

I take care of my Godson while my friend goes to NA meetings once a week because I want to support her. And while the voices still try pedo shit while I am with my godson I have trained myself to not to respond to it and get upset or agitated like I use to and just ignore it for the most part. It still hurts my soul. But I love my godson and my best friend. I also during the day I get a few hours of peace and quiet when they are not home unlike I do at my partners house and it gets me out of the house once a week and at least I’m exercising myself to be in the world.

For whatever reason they don’t want me to be here. But they don’t want me to be anywhere really. In the beginning at my parents house the voices started with the incest shit with my father and showing me images of him raping me and making me feel awkward around my dad all of a sudden. Then they were trying to get me to run away. I considered it many times because I wanted it to stop. I was going to kill myself a the beach in Long Island and I, for whatever reason maybe panic, I could not find the right train even though I was on the right track.

Either way it’s the same thing with my old job as well calling me a child molester and telling me to quit my job (which I did) and forcing me to leave and have nothing. Just tossing me around aimlessly at their whim.

So now I gained some footing. My friends house is a safe space for me (for the most part) and now the demons want to get me out of here too. And the way they plan on doing that I guess is by occupying her with a man. But at the same time making it seem like I am jealous (a running dialogue). Which I’m not. Now because she is seeing someone they are saying oh she is prettier than you, you are ugly that’s why you don’t have a man. And all that stuff. And I mean she is she is gorgeous always has been. But NOW they are saying that. It’s weird.

I guess what makes it awkward is knowing the voices foretold yet another situation. Just like the foretold my ex having a son two years prior to the actual birth to make me feel like shit. And I’m not even mad I just wanted to stop hearing about him and being tormented by the image or voice of him coming off the TV.

So idk if these demons actually foretell the future or create it. It seems easier for them to create it since they can influence people decisions to some extent mostly if it’s with in their parameters.

Part of me wants to just whimper and leave. The other part wants to stand my ground. But I’m just going to be me and go with the flow. And if I see less of my friend because she has a man oh well we’ve all done it to each other.

Just feel some type of way cause the foretold it was going to happen. Like I don’t have control over my life. Even though I am working on the inward, now it’s manifesting outwardly (more than just seeing them). So meh.

Imaginary Friend 🍃👻🍃

I had some “the gruge” like or alien raptor visuals in the begining ….. But I laughed at them …. So oddly my visuals are not AS strong although I have like floating emojis around the house which are odd and visions of child abuse or which is terrifying or random photos of people. 

I guess I am more stern because of the auditory …. Speaking creates more of a relationship. So it’s like one moment the voices would have me crying from saying moms gonna die, then sucidial from a sick visual of child sexual abuse and then trying manipulate me back into a friendly demeanor by making jokes or saying they love me. I realized this was a cycle of abuse. 

The Reconciliation /Honeymoon phase is “The victim feels pain, fear, humiliation, disrespect, confusion, and may mistakenly feel responsible. Characterized by affection, apology, or, alternatively, ignoring the incident, this phase marks an apparent end of violence, with assurances that it will never happen again, or that the abuser will do his or her best to change.” 

The first time I was introduced to this was when my best friend in high school told me that her mom would beat her, and then clean her wounds and tell her sorry and it won’t happen again and do it again. I asked my mom if she could live us but she couldn’t. 

Once I found this habitual pattern of abuse…. As much as those funny moments are so important for relief to the constant verbal abuse… To love and not hate…. To laugh….. I sadly had to accept that these voices will never change…. And I can no longer enable their abuse. Nor can I trust any attempt to gain my trust. 

This is called trauma. Not being able to leave a state of constant distrust or being on gaurd…… Physically harms the body in itself as well as how I interact with others. I’m trying to simply be clear and stern about my boundaries rather than be become a full blown narc. But it hurts and its hard because this is NOT my true nature. 

Sans the sick twisted abusive stuff…. I have no problem having an imaginary alien rapture friend that remixes gregorian music, plays air ghost tic tac toe and makes decent jokes given a natrual break in communication and with out pain from them touching me is gone.

Yea…. I am liberal about being crazy.

Monster Logos ❤


Not all but many of the “energy”, entities, aliens, archons whatever you want to call them have a … Logo of sorts. I would assume, since they seem to be a hivr mind ad they attach to a humans individuality they long for that same separation. Thus a representation …. A logo of themselves of sorts.

Either way….. Each being…. Yes is individual in a way or for the moment…. And they CAN tether to you to sustain it self itself in whatever form that truly is. 

Just as they tether they can disconnect…. But who wants to find a new victim to learn? 

No I have seen “energy” or Entities that DID NOT connect to me physically and did not force itself to stay in my field or my home. 

I have to keep reminding myself there is a good spiritual world. And just because I have been forced to see this side that doesn’t make me a bad person for trying to understand and not leaving it to prayer alone. The Entities often try to guilt me…. Saying I’m a bad christian or something like that…. Because I donyt leave this to prayer alone. Again, Me, God, Meds. 

One of my friends told me about a story where she was in s parade in Chile and she fainted and then a shaman help her friend carry her to a place and then the shaman blew smoke on her back and pulled out like a teddy bear smoke logo. This teddy bear was a teather from an entity attempting to attach or hide in her. But was removed. 

Just like I had logos #, 👽, X, ❤  of all kinda stuff on arms and body. I can see but I can not remove them.

If I look directly where I know there is an “energy field” portal, alien demon whatever…. It will spew something at me…. It will sparkle maybe black maybe white and then I will see a smaller “portal” near me or a logo on my skin or my third eye. 

When I take photos of my face…. It legit looks like a child scribbled on my forehead. Especially the 3rd. I don’t know how long they last, or if they wash off in a shower… Or what. 

But sorry we want our people to be spiritually OK they need to know this shit good or bad.if you are walking around with a naked lady in your arua masterbating then that’s fucked up. That’s what I saw in this one guys field…. And he knew what I was talking about. I never a full figure before. 

I have no interest in playing with these entities…. Or anyone else for that matter when it comes to this. I seek to be free of the bullshit that is not me. Like this is basic shit. 

Spiritual Bypassing Revisited. 😲😲😲

So spiritual bypassing. 

We are basically saying that if you don’t get almost literally spiritually jumped and cosmically punched in the face that you don’t get the badge of honor of being “inept”. To………… What? 

Do y’all see how we are perpetuating abuse even through our spiritual communities. 

We allow these “spirits” entities to cause harm and then run around thinking its an honor….. And we are enlightened. 

GUYS FUCK THAT!

FUCK THAT TODAY AND TOMORROW AND FOREVER FUCK THAT!

Basically you are enabling cosmic spiritual bullying.

And we are suppose to grow from that?!

Think about how fucking backwards that is? 

Its perpetating abuse.

If someone is in an abusive relationship do you tell them to stay in the relationship and forgive them while they are being beat? 

A lot of these people going around talking about accept the dark and light…. And spiritual bypassing never been raped by some random ass entity and then being told to forgive them. Forgiveness is a process. And protecting ones self is the first step. Abuse stopping is the first step. 

And forgiveness is a choice. 

I’ve always been like this. Ever since school. School is forced… Information forced…. Most of its a lie to perpetuate ignorance. Most of its not useful and most what actually learn and find useful is on the job you are forces to engage in to survive. 

Let’s really rethink the spiritual concepts we spew out. All we are doing is excusing entitities, energies, demons, whatever to play a roll in our lives, and there shouldn’t be any. They made their choice. And they keep making their choice the more you allow them to “punish” or abuse us senselessly which only enables their bad behavior.

Its not a badge of honor….. It’s ignorance. 

🙏

Photo of what I usually see

Like this is the most obvious photo I have taken. I would zoom in or not have it on a white background or in bright lights so your eyes can adjust. Im trying to look at it now in my bathroom lights and all I see it a black photo. 

If I’m totally bugging let me know. 

The photos of what I drew are here. I have seeming them for 6+ months. I think one or more contribute to the schizophrenia. 



Floating in Space 👾

No sorry I don’t have a pretty story of etherically floating space amount the beautiful stars. I wish. If I had to choose which delusion it would be that one. 

Essentially I am making timed notes of my experience. So over the last few days (always make sure it happens a few times before making a post) I have been seeing archon attachments to my arm. 

They are two dimensional (2D) blobs of dark light energy with a clear space ripple around it. To notice it, it is like seeing heat wave off a hot summer cement only still. I can move my arm and see the different facets or none at all because its 2D. Partially 3D since there is a few centimeters of depth. 

Anyways I know there are a few on each arm. Top of hand, maybe wrists, right below the elbow on the top part, and middle of my upper arm.

Since I have also seem markings in these areas like rashes, welts, burns, pin pricks. The markings have looked like some of the pictograms I have seen floating around the house. 

Many of the floating pictograms / enojis have stopped floating but again… NOW on/in my skin. 

Yesterday and today I have felt a floating sensation in my arms. Not like involuntary movement but something pressing inside. A slight nudge that sways me more one ways than the other. I feel each one. Its like having 50 chakras in my body. 

Also my heart center becomes heavy. I keep meditating and clearing it and it keeps coming back. 

I don’t like it. I want to get rid of it. 

I mean if the aliens can lift my fat ass up ….. Whatever. Maybe that’s why my body started gain weight. Oh body… All we needed to do was tie me to an anchor of love. 

🙏

EARTHQUAKE in NYC 🌐

CERN is out here opening up the hell gates in NYC. SATAN come get ya cousins! I got at least 30 of them in my house. 

🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐🙏

So there was an earthquake here in NYC. I felt a rumble….  But I am always feeling strange things but this felt different.

I asked my parents did they feel that? They said no so I just thought it was another demonic entity tremor when they go in an and out my body. Thought I was buggin.

Then i realized that the entities got real quiet around 4pm-ish my time. It was almost felt like when I have had “energy work” or light work done. They felt far away quiet…. Not as painful. Busy…. They felt busy. Same thing happened around the solar eclipse. 

I joked and said to the demons they were prolly watching the film being made down the street since they wanna direct shit (my life). And then an hour or two later we had a random earthquake here in NYC. 

So im not crazy!!! Haha!

Fuck these demons. They were prolly getting news of the earthquake. Not a big deal oh well. 

Running out of options

I’ve done the shaman, light worker, meditation, prayer thing….

I’ve the targeted individual, Mk ultra, gang stalking….. Matrix’s of insectoid thing….

Committing suicide for a twin flame thing….

Loosing everything like the “Book of Jobe” thing. 

Girl interrupted shave my head psyche ward crayon thing…. 

Clearing trapped energetic emotions for humanity thing….. Angel and demons thing. 

😩

I wanna do that thing where this all stops and I can enjoy this brief existence sans being raped every night by an reptilian insectoid posing as my ex twin flame. 

When will I get that this is done thing …. Finished thing? They go away thing? Never come back again thing? 

Numb 👤 Etheric Overlays

So …. I have noticed for a while now a numb sensation. 

At first I thought it was because I wasn’t moving as much. But YOU KNOW ME overly aware all the time.

So I noticed my hands going numb (especially around the phone). And when I looked there were one of those circles there. Noticed my thighs for months now. 

I noticed my feet/ ankle going numb. And then I felt that energy move up my leg that’s what prompted me to write about it.

Ive seen foreign energy move under my skin and then leave a mark. Either a pictogram (or emoji like) or an X. 

It’s so gross seeing your skin move. Its not like an aliens gonna pop out…. Its like a wave. Its more meshed WITH the skin than under it. 

That’s how the burn me, and talk to me, and poke, vibrate …. Rape. “Punch”…… Is by merging with the human cell or the space in between cells and causing an illusionary sensation.

Hands, arms, feet, thighs. And then my core and head is a whole other thing with etheric animals and beings coming and going as they please. Just …. Uhg. And my 3rd eye is pretty much a big gaping hole at this point. 

And they won’t stop, won’t shut up, won’t leave, won’t provide any “contracts”.

—————– 

The Demonic Archon Alien tried to say its prepping my body for the Isis etheric overlay. 😩😞😒

Suck an etheric dick. 

I said NO! 

Golden Light Group Healing Session 💫

So I just did a group healing session with about 500 to maybe 1.5k+ people this morning. 

I didn’t do my normal breath work or implant removal today and just was like whatever just do it. So I joined in late on the meditation but just kept trying to pull in as much “light”.

This one was WAY more emotional than I thought. I was doing the breathing and just trying to send more love out. I realized I will have to probably keep replenishing my “cord” with my twin with love and light since she asks so much of me and I’m just frustrated because where I am in life. It’s not her fault. So I sent love and light out to my family just trying to lighten our relationship. I can’t cut the cord cause I see them all day. Lol then I thought of all my friends and family whom I love and care for and who was involved in this Entity Attack in one way or another and sending love and light out that way. Eric Raines says when ypu have negativity festering in a relationship thats like black magic. Because my ego always had to fight this Archon Entity when it would use my coworkers, family, ex twin flame against me. 

An example would be the Entity would mention a fucked up part of a relationship with someone. And then…. I go on to say in my head “well what about when they did this or screwed me for that or left me here …. Or hurt my feelings then” bla bla bla. So I have to work on that. 

Either way. 

I pulled in as much light and saw myself griding below the ground trying to find those who were in the dark, who suffer from schizophrenia, abuse, sexual violence, hunger, homes … War….

I started cried and my body was convulsing….. Cause…. It thought of all that suffered and wanted to give them a spark of hope. A piece of light. I tried to stop myself from crying cause I am always afraid that its just feeding these entities. 

Then I thought about the world and soon as my mind went over the Caribbean I started crying again that was intense one…. Instant. I didn’t even think about the hurricane. It was tears.

Today has been a lot of tears, for myself, for others, the world. 

I’m not “elevated”, I’m not in swimming through the astral. I’m not special. I don’t have superpowers or abilities like everyone else. I’m human. 

My body is a tool I want to reclaim as my own. These Archon Reptilian demons are using it for their own gain and agenda….. I don’t even know what that is anymore. And it is mine. This in my body, my tool in this world. That is enough and extraordinary enough. 

There is so much healing this world needs. I want to do the intangible and tangible work as well.

This session was bigger than my own personal healing.

The entity is still here. Still doing what it does. But my focus is still the same, us as a collective healing.