5G and Etheric Entities

So there is this video going around on Facebook saying that 5G is causing Covid19. Now I will say radiation will make you sick. Even when we had huge solar flare when the sun would shoot radiation to the earth I would know because I would get sick. Having a weakened immune system I get it. But 5G is NOT what is causing this virus to spread. We have had plagues and diseases happen since forever. So we must be balances and logical about this.

Walk on the wild side with me for a little bit while I go into my own conspiracy theory about 5G.

Now I will say 5G and any frequency wave that includes radio all have something connected to the etheric astral 4D realms whatever you want to call it.

To me Radio frequencies are no different than 5G. Logically. It’s a frequency being dispersed and used.

So 5G is at about 40watt and microwave oven is at about 600watts. I think the only difference is that we are not constantly swimming in it and security/privacy issues.

I’m not an expert. I’m just talking off the dome. From my observation after being demonically attacked is that they work on these different wave lengths. And they are out here acting like people’s twin flames, dead grandpas, arch angels, Jesus, God, Satan himself, reptilians, aliens, ghosts, higher selves, past lives and god knows what else. The Bible says even Gods elect will be deceived. Many of us what the feeling of an earthly supernatural feeling that we are down forget how and why we serve and why we are here.

Much of the “spiritual community” has been divided and conquered. Between capitalist intent, to misinformation to alienating those that aren’t “high vibes”, to just enabling insanity. Mimicking the religions we have critique all too often.

Well Christianity killed people. Well this misinformation is killing people spiritually if not driving people into insanity or suicide.

I KNOW talking about demonic entities is crazy! But I feel the need to at least speak out to those that battle them physically in this 3D world. That they are not alone and that because we have this deep experience we can be agents of God. Not in a magical light worker way. But in a real way. In a daily way. Humble servants bringing the light which is the word of God to say we can get through this. Because it says so.

We have generations ahead of us. And either we are going to equip them with the knowledge and word to actually combat this shit (for free) or throw them to the wolves to end up feeling like we felt. Alone. Abandoned. Empty. Scared out of our minds. Suicidal.

And it is natural to have these moments but to LIVE in those moments is not. Because that is not why God created us.

We need discernment now more than ever.

I study these demons as a contrast to God. That is what I see, everyday. I know if they exist something greater and good exist.

I try explain these demonic entities work on a matrix of light spectrum that hold a electromagnetic field and thus a level of radiation and that radiation HURTS (if you know you know), many targeted individuals will speak about it but understand it as government or cooperation satellites. That people (demonic entities) are connected to them through remote neural monitoring.

The radiation and pressure of these entities really do hurt and “brings down your vibration” or immune system. I had not gotten sick in a decade until I got “schizophrenia” or attacked by these demonic entities. Then I got sick every year. Getting worse every year. And I would randomly spew vomit and I got high blood pressure and nerve issues. It breaks down the body. It physically hurts. It’s not just seeing and hearing these entities or trying to convince of their lies.

We MUST stop believing their lies. Detach from our need for a cool experience and stop spreading lies that are harming people for eternity.

That simple.

Dear Mental Health Providers:

Telling someone that they are purely paranoid or delusional is dangerous!

To tell someone who is experiencing something, that it is not real is dismissive of what the person is actually going through whether you see it or not.

I know it’s a fine line between enabling and dismissing. But I think allowing someone to talk through their experiences is important for self realization.

Dismissing them only further isolated them and possible put them at risk of rejecting care or oversight all together.

YOU don’t have to actually believe what the person is going through. But you need to believe that they are actually going through it.

My therapist told me I was paranoid because in my Disability Hearing some of her notes where repeated back to me in the disability hearing. And I was like why was that in there?

She had made assumptions that my schizophrenia was “genetic” because my sister was born underdeveloped and with a chromosome issue. 🙄 huh?

Anyway I wasn’t sure why that was in my notes. I assumed that when they correspond with the disability attorneys that she writes something specific up. Not just send hand over my whole file. So when I mentioned my issue with this. She explained that whatever I signed means they handed over the whole file.

So now I know. What is so paranoid about that if it actually happened?

I asked her not to put certain things in my file. And she said I am paranoid.

She also said I don’t look schizophrenic or act it previously. Then throws in my face that I am being “paranoid”, because I didn’t agree with her putting certain things in my chart.

There was nothing paranoid with what I expressed. And she get offended and choose to write off my concerns as “paranoid”. Just like she choose to write me off as possibly not being schizophrenic.

She has been super dismissive.

She doesn’t even listen to me during sessions and picks a sentence of when I am talking to type out and then we sit there wording the sentence for her notes.

So when she called me paranoid for not wanting something in my chart I just told her I was done and got up and left. She has no idea how to work with people experiencing “hallucinations”.

Like I wanted a space where I could speak out loud what was going on with me. I wanted someone to just listen. Allow me to work out the kinks. And I get a chart filled with strange notes and being dismissed as this or that.

This is why I started my blog. I have no one to that believes me, and even if they are listening I can feel the weight of them not wanting to go much deeper with me about my experiences. Like talking about it is too much for them. So I stop to spare the relationship.

I just wanted someone to listen.

It’s not fair! 💔

Someone I was talking to maybe two years ago recently contacted me again. He originally contacted me because his fiancé was “schizophrenic” and struggling. She had a car accident 5 years prior that resulted in long term memory loss. But I guess in 2017 she started to develop schizophrenia. She said she was followed by a woman in all black telling her to kill herself.

Well the guy contacted me and said she broke up with him and then passed away in December of 2017. Her family wont tell him how she passed which i think is really unfair since they were engaged for so long.

I guess ……. Most of the people i know struggling had a truamatic event such as car crashes or trumatic lives such as abuse as a child…… And like…… They are then vunerable to these “energies” or entities. And its not fair that their suffering must be on loop because they are vunerable due to truamatic events.

Like why aren’t the people who abused children tortured in this way? Into suicide? Why is it the child? The adult that grew up with all these wounds? Now being told by a demon to kill themselves.

And why must these energies/entities exist in the first place? All it is doing is perpetuating the same cycle of violence. Maybe if we didnt have these dark energies unfortunate events like an accident may happen. Not covert operations to take our kids. To hurt our people. War. Hurt the planet…..

I just don’t get it. It’s not the first person I heard that passed because of this. These demons. It’s just so sad.

The vunerable are made even more vunerable and revictimized in the spiritual planes?! It’s sooooooooooo fucked! Why can’t God just vaporize them?!

I wish there was another way. I wish i could help. Just yank these demons out of people rather than see them lurking around people plotting and planning waiting for our weakest moment to strike.

Just over it. Im always over it. But it sucks another life was lost due to this. Honestly that is why i keep this blog. So someone knows they are not alone or crazy. Just having a crazy experience. And that there are ways to handle it and speak about it so that you are not neck deep in the crazy. And some days suck more than others. And we can get through this and maybe we can figure out something soon…… For all of us.

😢

Update: a friend just told me a dude from our schiz group chat committed suicide yesturday. This is a lot in one day. I hope they all have found peace.

Best Friend Dating 👩‍❤️‍👩

So in my last post Dating vs Lonely I talked about how my friend found a boo piece less than a week ago. What I don’t think I mentioned is that the voices said maybe a week or two before hand “we gotta find her (my friend) a man to get her (me) out of here“. They said this multiple times prior to her meeting this guy who seems really sweet.

I dismissed it like most of their claims like I’m gonna die and every is gonna die (my family).

I take care of my Godson while my friend goes to NA meetings once a week because I want to support her. And while the voices still try pedo shit while I am with my godson I have trained myself to not to respond to it and get upset or agitated like I use to and just ignore it for the most part. It still hurts my soul. But I love my godson and my best friend. I also during the day I get a few hours of peace and quiet when they are not home unlike I do at my partners house and it gets me out of the house once a week and at least I’m exercising myself to be in the world.

For whatever reason they don’t want me to be here. But they don’t want me to be anywhere really. In the beginning at my parents house the voices started with the incest shit with my father and showing me images of him raping me and making me feel awkward around my dad all of a sudden. Then they were trying to get me to run away. I considered it many times because I wanted it to stop. I was going to kill myself a the beach in Long Island and I, for whatever reason maybe panic, I could not find the right train even though I was on the right track.

Either way it’s the same thing with my old job as well calling me a child molester and telling me to quit my job (which I did) and forcing me to leave and have nothing. Just tossing me around aimlessly at their whim.

So now I gained some footing. My friends house is a safe space for me (for the most part) and now the demons want to get me out of here too. And the way they plan on doing that I guess is by occupying her with a man. But at the same time making it seem like I am jealous (a running dialogue). Which I’m not. Now because she is seeing someone they are saying oh she is prettier than you, you are ugly that’s why you don’t have a man. And all that stuff. And I mean she is she is gorgeous always has been. But NOW they are saying that. It’s weird.

I guess what makes it awkward is knowing the voices foretold yet another situation. Just like the foretold my ex having a son two years prior to the actual birth to make me feel like shit. And I’m not even mad I just wanted to stop hearing about him and being tormented by the image or voice of him coming off the TV.

So idk if these demons actually foretell the future or create it. It seems easier for them to create it since they can influence people decisions to some extent mostly if it’s with in their parameters.

Part of me wants to just whimper and leave. The other part wants to stand my ground. But I’m just going to be me and go with the flow. And if I see less of my friend because she has a man oh well we’ve all done it to each other.

Just feel some type of way cause the foretold it was going to happen. Like I don’t have control over my life. Even though I am working on the inward, now it’s manifesting outwardly (more than just seeing them). So meh.

Heaven or Hell?

I womder if the poor innocent souls that were tortured through this method of Targeting (targeted individual) or demonic possession or whatever it is…..

I wonder if they go to heaven or hell.

I mean people are tortured even in real life by sick fucks. Brutally. Children. But i just wonder if they decide to take their life because of the torture or living with nightmare afterwards that there is no mercy for them?

Its not fair either way to be cheated out of life in such a manner.

Where is the justice?

Suicide: No Martyrs

So these demons refuse to kill humans. I don’t know if there is a strict code or coven. But they do not want to create any martyrs, saints or heroes. Instead they would rather craft a generation of blindly depressed and suicidal people who take their lives. And for the ones that can see them or are hip to their games politically, socially and spiritually torture them the mental anguish of rape and graphic images of child abuse and paranoid delusions forcing them into suicide.

I’m in so many groups where I hear people of my generation and younger crying out about suicide. Many of the ones in the schizophrenic forum DON’T WANT TO. They just want it to stop! So how do you even reconcile that?

A generation being told to commit suicide quietly or not so quietly by these demons only some of us see. Because they don’t want us to to die for what we believe in. They want us to loose all hope all faith and end the torture…… of that is even truly the end of it.

And they will even twist our minds and say Go home to God, or Next life time or something to deceive us into committing suicide. But that is all apart of their long standing plan.

To get us to kill ourselves. Quickly or slowly. Depends on the situation and your progress.

We must start really talking about this being honest about this purging this no longer allowing this to be a hook in our generation or the next.

Otherwise we they are doomed for sure.

Suicide Squads ✋

So like I have a handful of people I met through my schizo group that I tried to help when they were suicidal. … And my cousin and like….. 

I can barely get through today and I am trying to talk people down from going on a suicidal rampage and burning themselves and having nervous break downs…. And I have no one there for me… As always. 

I ignored my cousin…. The suicide rampage one stopped talking to me and the burn dude calmed down. 

I have nothing to give. I feel like I’m dying. It hurts so much I don’t even know if this is the schiz or not anymore. It’s just so intense ….. I can hear my skull cracking from pressure like a sinus infection.

Idk. The only thing that listens is this blog. I don’t care if anyone reads it.

Idk I can barely make it …. Running on empty…. No end in sight…. And like my friend constantly saying he is going to harm himself …. Is like more than I can bare. But I want them to be ok. 
Omg this hurts so much! I don’t know if it hurts more cause I know its fake. 

Lemonade 🍋

On March 8thh at a staff meeting I was asked who was my inspiration I said my twin sister was. 

My sister and I probably got into a quarrel either prior or sonething and the voice kept saying “You should be nicer to your sister.”

My sister went into the hospital for a sever stroke on March 11th.

I fasted for two weeks in hopes God would hear my cry. I felt like I brought this on my sister by saying that she was my inspiration. That everything I love was being taken away..

A month later (April 11th ish) my sister was transfered to a rehabilitation center uptown where she would say for the next 3 months before coming home while my mental health declined into a poor state. 

My sister is a girly girl…. And she always loved the color yellow and lemons because she always made lemonade out of lemons. She overcame a being told she never walk as a baby, a “learning disability” as a kid and becoming an amazing teacher, and now this stroke. She was scared being in this new place far away.

I was at the height of my delusion. So I thought I was reading minds. So I told my sister if she ever gets scared or worried to call out a code word. I searched for something that only she would know so i told her to say “Lemonade!” in her mind and I will be there. 

Maybe a week later Beyonce dropped the “Lemonade” album on April 23, 2016. I didn’t even bother watching it till much later but I was in shock. I thought my sister was eternally crying out to me from this sign. She was always more Beyonce and I was always more Rihanna fan. Riri’s a little darker…. But I’m becoming a Solange fan more whatever. 

Today I cried watching the Lemonade album. Cause I remembered how I wanted to jump into my sisters body and take on her burden. To fix it for her…   But I can barely fix myself and I would never want her to be in this possessed body. 

Lemonade! 🍃🍋🍃

TV on the Radio: Opposite World. 📺 “Stranger Things”

I have spoken about opposite world for a while now. It was a big part of the “delusion” I was dragged into. You can prolly search my blog and find a few posts. 

The more I went into occult groups on facebook trying to understand what was happening to me, was it a spell, voodoo, abilities, was abucted, a puppet, possessed by body snatchers, the more i was met with all these occultist would keep talking about the balance of dark and light. That “as above so below“. Honestly they are the only ones that speak about this, so I doubt they are getting raped and molested by demons so its easy for them to talk about “balancing the darkness”, because its only relatative to the illusionary power or “knowledge” they think they have. Or that anyone that wasn’t aware of the dark…. Or generally happy was a “spiritual bypasser”. 

It took me a while to watch second season of “Stranger Things”, to be honest mainly because it had kids in it and I really didn’t have the stamina to be raped or molested by this Archon Reptilian Entity while it said sick things and then called ME a child molestor. Because this demon wants me to “Die of Molestation”. 

My fear was then sparked again Eleven was named the sexiest woman by W Magazine and I and most of my friends where like WTF, she’s 13years old! And then Mara Wilson who played Matilda back in the day wrote an article for Elle Magazine talking about all the letters from pedophiles she received when she was a little girl and how they would make sick videos with her face imposed on it and it fucked her up. 

So with all that, and knowing how disgusting these Archon Reptilians are, I opted out watching this season. I knew after reading that article about her being named sexy the Archon’s would target her in my psyche. And I wouldn’t get to actually enjoy the show. Its an awesome show anf i love Winoa Ryder, shes kinda my spirit animal right now. It’s not hypersexualized like say “Girls” or “Game of Thrones” which I just couldn’t get through. My ex (twin flame) wanted me to watch Game of Thrones and even before all this happened I didn’t want to watch the rape scene and ended up covering my eyes with his arms until it was over. Its was too much. 

Either way thanks W Magainze for sensationalizing and sexualizing children and one of the few shows out there that’s actually not. 

ANYWAY. 

I mean things have dialed down to about 25% which is still too much for me, and at times they flare up and I can’t put my finger on the reason why…. I observe and catch trends quickly. Maybe there isn’t an actual reason. Just random. Not based on me or what I do. Even though I’ve tried everything to keep it at a minimum. 

So things are at 25% give or take the day. I KNOW for a fact I am not a child molestor and would never be in any lifetime, realm or plane. And I’ve watched “Once Upon a Time” all 6/7 seasons 3 times in row at least and Zootopia 2 times a day for a year….. So its time for a change. 

I’m not a TV person actually. I love music, but TV (and writing) engages my mind a bit more to take my mind away from these demons. Listening to music is intimate for me. Before I would go to my special place and make dances that melded into painting turning into a music video. I did the mostly on my commute to or from work. Open my eyes and I was in a train car of 100 people in a city of 8 million. Close my eyes and I was alone in my mind painting beautiful songs in my cave. 

What happens when you have unwelcomed guests in your cave? That won’t leave. Scribbling their song of fear. Perversion ……. And hatred over my personal graffiti. 

So fuck it, it doesn’t matter either way. I know myself enough and want to watch something different. I am currently on episode 3 season 2 when I was triggered to write this. 

One of the characters talked about being in “upside down” world where he is able to see these dark entities and reptile things that don’t like light or heat. Being stuck between dimensions. 

In many ways it feels like this “opposite world” where I see these Archon circles, Reptilians, Geckos, Trolls, Ghosts banshees, portals, False light floating symbols, that can not with stand the Sun or joy or love. So in a way I become a vampire always in the dark, because these energy vampires keep me weak enough to not go outside but alive enough to feed off and play with me. 

I know its not real real. … Like “Stranger Things” is not a documentary. But certain shows or songs, words always find there way to me AFTER I’ve experience certain things and I’m like “OMG you guys its a synchronicity! ” but thats the lure of the dark, and false light always keep you guessing, mysteriousness so you always stay in the trap of trying to figure things out because YOU think there is some gift….. A pot of goal at the end of that dark evil rainbow. Either way I want out. 

Maybe “Stranger Things” is taking from what some of us are really experiencing and turning it into entertainment. Like those scientists represent CERN, which I have not read up on but my friends, who experience the same I, believe that CERN did something to our world that made us vulnerable and more tangible to dark forces. Like they “lifted the veil”, only we want shit put back down. And ELeven (from stranger things) and the other kid is Us who can feel or sense what is happening to us or the other side. Its strange cause other people are having astral sex and atral projecting to Saturn. .. And past life regressing and channeling and having a grand old time and I’m like “the fuck are y’all doing?”. Even when I would read about people doing this I was like “nah I’m good”. There was no lure for me at most I wanted to do shrooms and maybe tripp and see like smurfs or something, but again that would have been from MY own mind. Not whatever disgusting hive mind from the 4th dimension that uses radio, WiFi, emf waves to penetrate our cells and move around or communicate or take over our bodies. The ones that are stalking me prefer ambient (none focused on sound) TV as it seems easier to associate words with their agenda then from my mind. 

So that’s my “Stranger Things” experience, only I’m kinda living it and it sucks. 

 https://youtu.be/j1-xRk6llh4

Suicide Hotline ☎

A guy in my schizophrenic group put up a post that was a simple cry for help. Just like “schiz sucks I’m over life”. I don’t blame him. 

It wasn’t until one of the other posters mad it aware that he had a gun with him.

So me and another member of the group tried to talk him into a safety plan. He didn’t have his meds, he hasn’t slept in 3 days, he had a gun and he was alone in a hotel depressed as fuck. 

A terrible recipe. 

He was also in the middle of no where. So its not like he could go to a Duane Reade and pop 4+ benadryls and call it a night like I do. 

So I literally had to be annoying and stay with him on chat until he got to a hospital. The only problem is that he said sometimes they call the cops on suicides out there. Which sucks…. And he has a warrent. So he was about to back out in front of the hospital. 

My advice is that fuck the warrent, fuck the gun, he needed not to be alone and to get some meds. I told him to lie unless he felt safe. Like essentially he needed sleep and to be under supervisions. I told him to tell the doctors that he hasn’t taken his meds or slept and he was experiencing extreme psychosis and not to mention the suicide. 😞 iDK. Its better than being in a hotel with a gun. I called the suicide hotline in his area and asked about the cops. They said if he poses a threat to himself or others the cops may be called and his name ran. 

So the main goal was get away from the gun, meds and sleep so he could have a clearer head. He is really a sweet soul. I hope to hear from him as soon as he gets out. The next would to have a friend turn in the guns for him.

I hope I helped him make the right decision. Kinda had my nerves on edge and a bit scary cause im not a crisis counselor and someones life is on the line. And i wanted to ensure he was safe. Not just drop a number. But at least he knows we actually give a fuck in that group. Schiz sucks balls. Its legit like every mental illness wrapped into one waking nightmare. 

*BIG SIGH …. With some tears*

I hate seeing my beautiful people suffering like this. I really do. 

UPDATE:

He got 7.5 hours sleep at the hospital, they gave him meds to tide him over, he has guns cause he was in the military but promised to give the bullets to a friend. Went home made a pie for thanksgiving.

God is good! 🙏🙏🙏